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Curse of Sexism
How many times have we heard the statement "oh he is such a stud. He bas slept with many women" or "she has a high body count and she is a whore"? Ever wondered why there is a difference in attitude to both genders when they are sexually active? It is because of patriarchy and misogyny. Now personally I, being a demisexual, can never understand hookup culture. But it is ok if 2 consenting adults agree to it. Who am I to stop them? But the way a society demonizes a woman for being sexually active is beyond imagination. Women are allowed to enjoy sex and shouldn't be made to feel bad in any way for that. The misogyny is changed from boomer generation to GenZ. Earlier it was " my wife is bad." Now it is "cum and dump the whore" Not gonna lie I have slut shamed many women in my head too. Honestly I feel good that those words didn't come out of my mouth. I have even slut shamed myself for just the fact that strap of the bra was out. I forgot that it was just a piece of lingerie. Also thank you Mom for making me believe I was seducing men of 35 years at 14. Yeah sure a child can seduce a full grown adult! The recent over turning of Roe vs Wade is the biggest encouragement to slut shaming and also shaming women for their bodily autonomy. Yeah a cluster of cells have greater value than a woman.
With the ongoing sexual frustration of teenage boys there seems to be a growing number of incels. Incels are described as involuntary celibate. Incels are usually part of online forums on reddit, discord , telegram etc. The overall themes of failure and frustration along with anger and hate towards women are the perfect recipe to incels. I mean dating was always biased towards good looking people. But it doesn't mean that avg looking people didn't or don't date. Incels have weird vocabulary of the people -chad and stacy. Chad is a sexually successful young man. He has blonde hair and pulsating muscles. The thing is that it is not restricted to internet forums. Elliot Rodger killed six people and turned the gun on himself in 2014. He is an inspiration to the Incel community.
Earlier I used to think that people have a problem with women being promiscuous as they fear that she might cheat on him. But lesbians are also fetishised. Even though they will never sleep with a man or get sexually attracted to men. Yet a section of straight men do watch lesbian porn. Promiscuity for women is a high risk low award proposition. Women are taught to hate themselves from an early age. We give so many adjectives to women who engage in hookups as insecure and lacking self respect. In India we also have tight gender roles -women cook, clean, wash dishes etc. I think there is nothing wrong with doing the tasks. But it becomes tiring when only the women have to do the task.
Now I know it is a common notion in radical feminist spaces that men benefit from patriarchy. At the expense of sounding like a liberal feminist I am going to say patriarchy affects men too. Men who do not fit the ideal of "strong, tough, earners of society, emotionless, sex hungry" are often deemed worthless. The need to be "manly" is so overhyped. Societal pressure on men to conform to patriarchy not only has men fearing the concept of expressing emotions.
Male rape is not talked about a lot. This is again in accordance with the idea that men love sex in any condition. The joke of " it is dream of every middle class boy to be raped by a woman" is so harmful and pathetic. It is dehumanising to men who have been raped.
Honestly i think patriarchy is a power structure. All men don't hold power. In US be a white cis upper middle class heterosexual man. In India be a Upper Caste, Upper middle class , cis, heterosexual man. With these conditions met you will be able to reap benefits. I was thinking something like this. There can only be a few leaders and there will a lot of followers. There seems to be this idea that is promoted that anyone can be "The Alpha Male". But most likely you will be the one under the thumb of an "Alpha Male." Part of Patriarchy is to not only control women but to control men too.
* The Despotic King that conquers another kingdom and forces all the people to follow him instead.
* The Dictator that rules the country with an iron fist and oppresses anyone that steps out of line or any minorities.
* The Hypocritical Church leader that forces oppressive rules on people but will not always follow them.
* Actual Slave Owners that beat and can potentially kill his male slaves and sell the children they fathered.
* The Bad Boss who treats you badly, underpays you, and can steal your ideas for his benefit.
* The Abusive Father that beats his son, tries to "toughen him up", he is also neglectful and withholds his love from his own son.
All of these men have the power to make the lives of other men a living Hell. Power is easy to abuse. Women clearly suffer under these men too. And sometimes I feel like women and children become punching bags for the powerful abusers and punching bags for men forced into following the abusers. And it sucks how a lot of men can't even see how they are being exploited and manipulated by Patriarchy.
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I am just fucking tired of the rat race. I don't know when will it end? My mom has made my life hell. I feel suicidal all the time. I wanna die.
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That is how I knew I am bisexual. Those chubby cheeks of Martha and the general goth aesthetic! The long nose of Jonas and those red lips! Just awesome!
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the body positivity movement needs to start moving hard into including disabled bodies and this is what I mean by that. yes, it was a good step forward to change the rhetoric from “your body is a good body if it meets these arbitrary aesthetic standards” to “your body is a good body because it completes these tasks for you” (ie: walking, eating, laughing, hugging, etc.) but that rhetoric is still not fully body positive, because it excludes bodies that do not do these things. the same as saying how we need to “focus on healthy bodies not skinny bodies” sounds good at first, but it completely misses the point that unhealthy bodies deserve to be appreciated too. disabled bodies are still beautiful and still fundamentally good, not because “your body is kind to you so you should be kind to your body”- because not everyone’s body is kind to them. but all bodies are still good bodies because they are what houses your soul. your body is what allows you to exist and live your life in whatever way you live it, and for that reason, it is a good and beautiful body. your body is what your loved ones see when they look at you and the love they feel for it as an extension of you makes it a good and beautiful body. your body doesn’t have to look a certain way or behave a certain way to be good. it is good just for being here.
**edit**
if you don’t like this post that’s fine. if you don’t agree with this post that’s fine. I am literally just a person, a real person behind this account, who isn’t a fucking disability activist for a living, I’m just Some Guy who has a degenerative chronic pain condition and was frustrated with language I was hearing. if you’re frustrated with language you’re hearing here, make your own post about it. don’t fucking derail the fact that this makes me and many other people feel better. don’t fucking tell me I’m wrong when I’m not fucking talking to you. if this post doesn’t resonate with you, then guess what- it’s not for you. I didn’t tag you in it so you can just move on. I said what I needed to hear and there are some people who needed it too. if you arent one of them, don’t try to make us feel shitty for trying to make our lives as bearable as possible.
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If a child is so afraid of getting in trouble that they don't come to their parents when they make a mistake that could possibly put their health or even their life in danger, then those parents have failed.
If something goes wrong, and the first thing that child thinks is, "oh god, my parents are gonna kill me," then the parents have failed.
If a child is afraid of their parents, if the child sees their parents as an active threat instead of a source of safety and guidance, then the parents have failed.
A parents job is to protect, to teach, to guide.
If a parent makes themself a danger to the child, in any capacity, then that parent has failed.
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