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shmuzzieheart · 17 hours
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My favorite form of redemption arc is “I hate that I have morals now”
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shmuzzieheart · 1 day
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i ❤️ ... (button sets, part 1) by Claire Thompson
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shmuzzieheart · 1 day
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Rating the birds in my backyard by tendency toward violence
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Northern Cardinal, 4/10
I'm sometimes worried the male is sexually harassing the female but I'm pretty sure they're just doing some elaborate public pickup roleplay. The rest of us didn't agree to participate in your kink, guys.
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American Robin, 1/10
Literally just some dude hanging out. Never bothered anyone but worms. Big fan of the way you just stand there in the middle of the grass like you forgot what you were supposed to be doing.
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House Sparrow, 10/10
You're a gang. You're participating in gang violence. There's ten billion of you living in a single wood pile and it's been civil war for three years now. When will the bloodshed end?
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Tufted Titmouse, 1/10
A shy baby. A pretty little guy. I saw you on the neighbor's garage roof and time stopped. There were anime sparkles around you. Come back.
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European Starling, 9/10
Why is it always you? Listen, I know, I KNOW the sparrows are the problem, and YET. When the fighting starts, it's always you in the middle of it, provoking them and then screaming like you're an innocent bystander defending yourself. I'm onto you.
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Carolina Wren, 3/10
This rating is not for physical violence, which you don't engage in, but for your role as an incurable narc. A tattle tale. I know they're fighting again, okay? I see it. Our yard has been a warzone for years, you don't have to make a big announcement every time someone misbehaves.
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Eastern Wood-Peewee, 0/10
If this were "birds who think they're better than everyone else," you'd get 10/10.
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Red-bellied Woodpecker, 6/10
It's a utility pole. It's not a tree. You're surrounded by trees that are full of bugs. But there you are, on the utility pole. Committing vandalism.
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American Crow, unrated
For who am I to cast judgment on the actions of La Famiglia? I assume you are doing what is best for the neighborhood. If I could, though, without criticism, make a single observation. That when large numbers of you gather in the ominous dead cottonwood - no? No, you're right. None of my business.
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Great Crested Flycatcher, 5/10
Frankly, I think you could be doing more. I think your name implies a great potential. I think you should massacre the insects. I think your beak should drip with viscera.
Stay tuned for more criminal activity!
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shmuzzieheart · 1 day
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Was on a tour of an under construction hospital and threw up because we had to walk up four flights of stairs and the cooling wasn't working yet. President of the company is a doctor and made sure I was ok, head of nursing said I was the first patient for the hospital and the ceo said I should get a plaque put up for it
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shmuzzieheart · 1 day
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Who would have thought the man that goes out in a green glitter suit and peacock feathers wanted attention?
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shmuzzieheart · 2 days
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Please keep in mind, when you pull back the skin. I am full of nasty, nasty things.
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shmuzzieheart · 2 days
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she’s my favorite part of the game!
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shmuzzieheart · 2 days
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who is the first david you think of when you hear the name david
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shmuzzieheart · 3 days
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Here's one for the Pokemon fans
Should be self explanatory but as examples:
Option 1: Shiny Espeon
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Obviously there are lots of examples of really weird and ill fitting colour palettes in shiny variants but I'm going with Espeon as it's the one most often cited as an 'ugly' shiny compared to the colours of the original. But this category also includes pokemon where the shiny colour scheme is so glaringly obvious it ruins the originals 'coolness'
See also: Shiny Groudon, Shiny Mismagius and any pokemon with the neon green or muddy yellow shiny variants.
Option 2: Shiny Gengar
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This is the choice for pokemon where you would struggle to know which is the shiny without seeing the sparkles or putting the original next to it. Gengar is one of the best examples where the colour scheme is so close to the original without even a change of eye colour to denote its special qualities.
See also: Shiny Pikachu, Shiny Leafeon, Shiny Snorlax
And to be clear this isn't hating on your fave pokemon or fave shiny or anything. It's just which type of shiny is the most disappointing to you personally.
Also for funsies include in the tags your fave pokemon and whether you like it's shiny variant!
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shmuzzieheart · 4 days
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see, both logan and janus wants to be listened to and respected by thomas. but while janus’s reasoning is just “you’re gonna end up unhealthy and unhappy and lonely if you don’t listen to what i say, you fool”, logan’s is more “the only purpose i have ever known is to serve thomas and keep him healthy and alive. if thomas doesn’t acknowledge me, that’s a failure on my part. if something happens to thomas because he didn’t listen to me, i will never forgive myself for the rest of my life.”
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shmuzzieheart · 4 days
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Cybergod, Nausea/ Catholic Turing Test, Gregory P Garvey
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shmuzzieheart · 5 days
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Watching Phil's stream right now, are those Pomme and Dapper signs that were by Lullah's bed recent? Or what happened because I haven't heard anything about their admins coming back.
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shmuzzieheart · 6 days
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Lullah: oh yeah i moved them here, and a cat, and magpies
Phil: Sooooooooo... cats, right? They eat birds. They attack birds and stuff. And like, what they also do when it comes to my friend Fit, is they spy on him. Umh. So I– I saw that cat and immediately thought "Uh oh, danger." So I- I- I took it away. I set it free. It's gone. It's gone, Lullah. I'm so sorry queen, I didn't know.
Lullah:
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shmuzzieheart · 8 days
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*grabs both your hands in gesture of sincerity*
Don't let this die. Taylor Swift is the Pollution Queen now. We need meme edits with her photoshopped onto backgrounds of wildfire-ravaged landscapes and oil refineries chugging out black smoke.
Photo of smudgy black eye shadow? That's THE Taylor Swift-inspired look now, it represents fossil fuels.
We need parodies of Taylor Swift songs about pollution and killing polar bears.
Give her representatives a full-time job for the rest of their lives defending her from the phrase "Pollution Queen." Make this meme a the figurehead of an entire fleet of other celebrity-terrorizing memes.
"But this doesn't dismantle the system that—" Shut. Don't care. Isn't it great that such a huge portion of environmental damage is being done by human individuals with egos, whose feelings can be hurt when people are mean?
Money can save you from physical harm, but can it save you from looking ridiculous?
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shmuzzieheart · 8 days
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shmuzzieheart · 8 days
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Bye Sweet Carole is a hand-animated horror game inspired by classic Disney movies.
Wishlist Bye Sweet Carole on Steam
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shmuzzieheart · 14 days
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I still can't get over the fact that Remus' spot where he stands is in between Virgil and Roman, therefore removing that sense of comfort of being able to look over and see someone who was becoming their best friend and instead having to see for Roman "everything he doesn't want to be" and for Virgil an old friend who he was really scared of and is now probably just annoyed by
Idk it's just something I think about a lot
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