spoonie-pre-med-inactive

[spoonie-pre-med-inactive]

THIS BLOG IS MOVING

I hate gambling.

Honestly, I do. Just the idea of it makes me anxious, and it always has. Even the stock market feels a little sketch to me, honestly. The idea of risk+the unknown is actually basically the worst.

and yet, this semester, gambling is essentially what I’m doing.

(prepare yourself, this post is LONG)

Read More

#reblogging this one last time before I abandon this blog for real #follow me if you would like to follow me #<3

[spoonie-pre-med-inactive]

THIS BLOG IS MOVING

I hate gambling.

Honestly, I do. Just the idea of it makes me anxious, and it always has. Even the stock market feels a little sketch to me, honestly. The idea of risk+the unknown is actually basically the worst.

and yet, this semester, gambling is essentially what I’m doing.

(prepare yourself, this post is LONG)

Read More

#reblogging this again in case you didn't see last night #follow the thing if you'd like to follow the thing

[spoonie-pre-med-inactive]

THIS BLOG IS MOVING

I hate gambling.

Honestly, I do. Just the idea of it makes me anxious, and it always has. Even the stock market feels a little sketch to me, honestly. The idea of risk+the unknown is actually basically the worst.

and yet, this semester, gambling is essentially what I’m doing.

(prepare yourself, this post is LONG)

Read More

#in case you didn't see it last night #I'll reblog this one more time too

[spoonie-pre-med-inactive]

Hey guys, I should explain. This blog says inactive because I can't do the separate blog account thing. I live on Tumblr, but if posting here requires me to log out of my main account and log back in here, which turns out to be something I can't motivate myself to do regularly. I decided the secret identity thing isn't necessary, so if you'd like to continue to follow me, go to spoonie-pre-med, which is my new blog

thanks!

THIS BLOG IS MOVING

I hate gambling.

Honestly, I do. Just the idea of it makes me anxious, and it always has. Even the stock market feels a little sketch to me, honestly. The idea of risk+the unknown is actually basically the worst.

and yet, this semester, gambling is essentially what I’m doing.

(prepare yourself, this post is LONG)

Read More

[spoonie-pre-med-inactive]

Me: “I have a debilitating chronic illness that causes persistent fatigue and pain. It often prevents me from engaging in everyday activities such as leaving the house, meeting with friends or even standing for short periods of time.”

Someone: “Have you tried exercising?”

#preach #queue

[spoonie-pre-med-inactive]

Guys, I am so bad at blogging.

#I'm actually very good at blogging #but having this blog in addition to my personal blog means I forget about this one and leave it for months at a time

[spoonie-pre-med-inactive]

I think there's an adrenaline or something that carries me through the first week of school, like even when I'm super exhausted, it's all new and I'm excited to see my friends and so somehow I can still do things like move furniture around and unpack and stay up late, and then still get out of bed in the morning

what I'm afraid of is when that wears off

#college + chronic illness

[spoonie-pre-med-inactive]

It looks like a snake that swallowed an elephant!

....or a hat

#The Little Prince #le petit prince #it's where my mind went #queue #tbh it doesn't really look like the drawing from little prince #BUT SHHHH

[spoonie-pre-med-inactive]

#shots fired #queue #healthcare

[spoonie-pre-med-inactive]

Only got six hours of sleep

school starts today

I'm sure that will have no adverse consequences.

#16 year old me is laughing at the phrase 'only six hours of sleep' #but shhhh 16 year old me you do not understand #a year ago today I went to the ER #fun times #I'd only known the people for like two days #and it was like HELLO I AM UNCONSCIOUS NOW #so that was fun #hopefully we don't have a repeat of THAT

[spoonie-pre-med-inactive]

I think I am struggling balancing being realistic with being optimistic

for example, yesterday I bought enough shampoo to last me probably until May (I just hate going to the grocery store okay? It's like a three mile walk and I don't have a car) and my mom was like "uuuuhhhh isn't that too much? What if you have to come home before then and we don't have a way to get it home?" and I was like NO MOM GOD I'M GOING TO LAST THE WHOLE YEAR OKAY SHUT UP

but then someone asked me if I'd consider doing some music thing second semester, and my immediate response was "I doubt I'll still be here"

just ?????

[spoonie-pre-med-inactive]

The descent into Alzheimer’s disease.  A doctor chronicles the signatures of his patient as the disease took hold of her. Our love goes out to anyone who’s dealt with this awful disease in some way. 

via Reddit

#wow #alzheimer's #queue

[spoonie-pre-med-inactive]

When I get asked why I spend so much time wrapped up in blankets...

#I'm saying this the next time someone questions why I'm walking around the dorm wrapped in a blanket #dysautonomia #seriously I shiver pretty much constantly from November to March

[spoonie-pre-med-inactive]

Hey y'all,

I've been making the very long drive to my school the last few days, but now I've moved in and unpacked and hopefully things will chill out... (that's not likely. Freshman orientation is cray even when you're not participating directly, and then classes start)

I decided this year to come out directly at the beginning and tell my hallmates about my health issues at our first hall meeting. I know some people don't like to do that, because most people are more private than I am, but last year I didn't explain my health problems, just that I'd deferred, and then I passed out on the second day of school and got taken to the ER and everyone was all confused and surprised and concerned........ so basically, without going into a huge amount of detail, I was like "hey I'm chronically ill, it makes school really hard sometimes, if you see me passed out on the ground you probably don't need to call an ambulance! Yay! Nice to meet you!"

ALSO: I'm in an all-freshman dorm (I'm a freshman by credits but it's my second year? sigh.) and there are FOUR other pre-meds in my 18 person hall. (one of the girls said her major was "medicine" and I had to refrain from actively rolling my eyes.)

(to be clear: at my school, and at most schools, "pre-med" is a program with advisors, but not a major. You have to major in something else. Also, the number of pre-meds basically halves by the second year of school because people realize they don't actually like it, and were in it for the wrong reasons. That's totally cool and I'm glad for those people who find what they really want to do, but it's hard not to be skeptical of freshmen pre-meds I guess? Especially because I saw a whole bunch of people go through that last year, where they failed gen bio super hardcore and realized pre-med wasn't for them. I think there's also a part of me that gets upset because I have deep doubts about my ability to do this with the way my health is, and I get weird jealous angry at people who can.)

#update #school woo

[spoonie-pre-med-inactive]

Because what doesn't kill me doesn't kill me, so fill me up for just another day

"Just Another Day" from Next to Normal

#Next to Normal #listening to this always #queue

[spoonie-pre-med-inactive]

I’ve reached a point in my illness in which I’ve totally giving up on make up. Like…. nah, I’m cool with looking like shit all the time. I know my circles under the eyes look is totes in this season. #SPOONIEFASHION

#I was forced into doing this years ago #because my eyes are super sensitive #so wearing makeup means I can't see well for like 48 hours afterwards #so yeah not about that makeup life #queue

[spoonie-pre-med-inactive]

Electrical activity of the Heart

#UHM #this is really super cool #queue