#& to be clear-- I am appreciating her; I appreciate her explaining this semi-common experience in a clear way

[scrawnytreedemon]

going off that last ask: loz/yazoo character opinion? i wanna read your thoughts!

Ohooooo, I was waiting for something like this!!! Thank you, Vee :) I’ll do my best to explain <333

Starting off with Yazoo:

First impression: Calm, level-headed, perhaps a bit shy. What surprised me the first time watching was how deep his voice was. He’s got this grace about him that leaves you simply... staring. I interpreted the introductory scene where Loz nearly cries and Yaz tells him not to as comforting-- Which I think is what a good chunk of Rem fans see it as? Overall, pretty, but not much else.

Impression now: I think he’s fucking ruthless under that dainty face, if you ask me. Honestly, it’d be right in line with Sephiroth. I think out of the both of his brothers, he gets along better with Kadaj, but if he wasn’t around, I doubt Yazoo would have nearly enough investment in their quest. He comes across as apathetic and uncompassionate, perhaps even a little haughty. I feel like his relationship with Loz is tolerable at best, and downright acidic at worst. With Loz being the way he is, I wouldn’t be surprised if Yazoo and Kadaj had to keep an eye on him at all times, just in case. I feel, though, at the end of the day Yazoo does care about his brothers, and would risk his life for them. It’s in his bones, and he can’t help it, whether he likes it or not. Still very pretty though, lmao.

Favourite moment: Been forever sinced I watched Advent Children, and, unfortunately, Yazoo my beloved doesn’t get many scenes. I’ll have to go with the introductory scene, as it gives us an idea of who they are and what their dynamic is like right off the bat.

Idea for a story: I feel like any story with Yazoo inevitably ends up involving Loz, so I’ll make a joint bullet-point for them at the end of the post <3

Unpopular opinion: Mmm, probably the more apathetic, if not downright spiteful characterisation. If my friend @vesaniens​’s experience is to be believed, then at least Back In Her Day it was far more common for Yazoo and Loz to be buddy-buddy while Kadaj goes off and does his own thing. I can see the appeal in that dynamic, and understand where it comes from. There’s alot of ways you can interpret ‘don’t cry, Loz,‘ and as it is the introductory scene, however you do sets down the foundation for all that follows.

Favourite relationship: The Remnants aren’t characters I can find preferable ships for in-canon, so romantic is off the table here. I will say, though, a dynamic where Genesis and Yazoo are mentor and mentee would be downright tooth-rotting. Genesis preening him, taking him out to nice places, showing him fine literature-- I love it! I don’t see much talk about how the Remnants would relate to Gen and Geal, and I think that’s a damn shame. Plus, Yazoo can then quietly rub it in either of his brothers’ faces whenever he gets annoyed with them. To pick another, though, definitely him and Loz-- Especially if it is strained. It’s very clear they’re meant to contrast each other. Yazoo is lithe, subtle and venemous; Loz is big, loud and sensitive. I personally have a huge soft spot for fics where they recouncile their differences and learn to truly love each other.

Favourite headcanon: Honestly, I feel like I need to make a general headcanon post for the Rems as a whole. They’re all inherently tied, so a change to one of them usually affects the other two. To touch up on one from a theory I read about a year ago now(God, has it been that long?), I like the idea that the Remnants got a little bit of Genesis and Angeal mixed in. They’re like 90% Seph, give or take, but the other 10%~? Now that’s where the fun begins baby!!! In this case, the donor would be Genesis, and Yazoo would’ve gotten the more passive-aggressive, snarky, preening aspects of his character. The resentment and feelings of  inferiority towards Sephiroth end up getting mixed into Kadaj, however I don’t want to elaborate on this too long lest I go off-topic. On a more crack-heavy note, I feel like if you waved a laser-pointer in front of him, he’d be transfixed. He’s too dignified to actually leap at it... But he likes watching :)

Now, as for Loz:

First impression: Big phuckign himbo, idiotte of a man. Probably can’t even buckle his own boots. Playtime??? Bitch NO, it’s not playtime! WHY ARE YOU CRYING??? But yeah, my initial view fell alot more in line with what I think is the most common interpretation of him. His excecution leans heavily to Big Dumb Idiot Man Who Cries When He Sees A Duckling.

Impression now: Baby. Poor fucking baby. Honestly, that could be said for all the Remnants, but I don’t think Loz’s struggle is discussed nearly enough. I’ve talked about this before, but, for me, it’s painfully clear that Loz is essentially a child in a grown man’s body. Writer Kazushige Nojima has Loz’s lines about playing during his fight with Tifa were based off his own son, and has described him as “missing a little something upstairs” --And looking at him through that lens, things become alot more disturbing. He’s Sephiroth’s love for Jenova; a doting, yearning, infantilising love. There’s an innocence to Loz, something sweet, something light and airy-- And to have him fight, have him torture, have him kill... just, man. This jarring dichotomy between such hulking, brutal strength, this bringer of destruction, and this kid who wants his mother. Is he aware? Does he truly understand the weight of his actions? Can he? Most of this, admittedly, is a bit of a stretch, but I love this doof alot jhdhjfdjhs can you blame me?

Favourite moment: Oh, definitely the crying scene-- You must be real tired of hearing that again. Though, in Loz’s case, it sets up his sensitivity, and his dynamic with his brothers-- Yazoo in particular.

Idea for a story: Same answer as Yaz.

Unpopular opinion: I think my more infantile view of Loz as a whole is semi-unpopular? Fandom seems pretty split on whether he’s just a himbo or actual babyman. Again, hard to tell, what with most Rem content and discussion being several years old and tricky to find. I’d be curious to have a discussion on this! But yeah, if we’re talking about the wider fanbase, I think my intense appreciation of him is definitely unusual. Alot of OG fans see the Rems as tropey villains, and while I will argue that it makes sense considering they’re fragments of a bigger, badder, more complex villain, I don’t think Loz is nearly as shallow as most would have you believe.

Favourite relationship: As discussed with Yazoo, there aren’t any canon characters I consistently ship the Remnants with -- Especially not for Loz, in particular when viewing him through that youthful lens -- Though as with everything, I am flexible :) On the platonic side... Honestly, I think Loz would just be a big softie who hangs around everyone. If Angeal was baking, Loz would definitely chip in to help, though he might cause more trouble than if he stayed aside. I think he’d try and reach out to Sephiroth, only for his affections to be rejected because the latter is Bad With Emotions and is torn between on whether the Remnants are a nuisance he hands off to his old friends or his children who he wants to scoop up and carry off into the vast cosmos.

Favourite headcanon: Loz eats alot of shit he isn’t meant to. Like, shit that would kill twenty grown men. At least once he has mistaken stinging nettle for mint, and spent the next two or three days scraping his tongue constantly. Would chase a ball if thrown, no questions asked; try playing frisbee with this dude, and you’ll end up on the other side of town by the end of it. If you try and pick him up, he just slumps, like a big, brawny ragdoll cat-- Probably purrs like one, too. Definitely appreciates a good scratch behind the ear :)

There’s like... probably mountains more, but this is what I’ve been able to coax out after a day of writing this on and off. Again, thank you so much for asking!! I’ve been meaning to ramble about the Remnants for ages now, but didn’t know how to go about it.

Aight, as promised:

Story idea: This is one I’ve had on my mind for years now. I haven’t gotten around to it, as it’d require greater familiarity with FFVII’s world as a whole, but the premise is that Yazoo and Loz escape far out into the countryside, and end up in a village. Yazoo soon falls ill, and Loz has to provide a living working for a local farmer. Their dynamic is initially strained, and without Kadaj to hold them together, they nearly end up splitting before arrival. As time passes, and as they grow closer to the community, Yazoo’s grumbles fade into concerned murmers. Slowly, he begins to trust Loz more, and Loz learns to take more responsibility. But as their friendship blossoms, Yazoo’s body withers. Bedbound, he wonders how Loz would fare without him, if he could make it. I imagine this ends up leading to Loz deliberately blowing their cover to get needed medical help from WRO, turning themselves in during the process.

Again, there’s probably more to it, but to be honest even I don’t know. That’s the great thing about creativity :) You never know where you end up!

Thank you for asking, and feel free to ask more if you’re curious! This goes for elaboration on characters already asked, certain headcanons, and even pairings! Also, feel free to add on with your own thoughts! Whether they be additions, refutations, or so on. Fandom discussion(provided it’s civil qwq) can be so much fun!

<333

#ffvii #advent children #yazoo #loz #remnants #ask meme #long post #scrawny speaks #love doing these!! keep em coming <33

[talltalesandbedtimestories]

A View To A Winchester (Part 11)

Series Page

Summary: Julie’s starting a new life after divorce in a home with a very nice view.

A Dean X OFC story. I got this idea staring out the view of my home office window and thinking how nice it would be to have Dean Winchester to ogle.

Section Word Count: 5,570    

Section Content: fluff, flirting, angst, R-rated language, show level violence

~~~~~

Dean sipped slow at the steaming black coffee he’d picked up on his way to Cas’s house. Way too fuckin’ early. A dude in his sixties, walking a yippy Yorkshire, squinted hard at Dean biding time in Baby outside the tiny two bedroom cottage belonging to Castiel Novak. Tempted to give him the middle finger, Dean instead opted for a two finger friendly salute with a grin. The elder man continued down the sidewalk, his reflection eventually caught by Dean in the rearview mirror. He passed behind the Impala, stopped right at the tailpipe, and took a mental note of the license plate.

“Come on, man.” Dean mumbled to himself. “I can only handle so much stupid this early. The POS dog saved its owner, pulling him across the street and yapping the whole damn way.

He yawned and leaned back in his seat. The time on his watch confirmed it was way too early to be up and out of the house on a Saturday morning. Especially when he wasn’t on a job. Especially when, if Cas hadn’t shown up, he’d probably be in Julie’s bed sleeping. He grinned. Probably not sleeping.

No, Dean was pretty sure he would have woken Julie up very early to do more of what he wished they’d done last night. When he’d gotten back to his house after saying goodbye, he’d attempted to explain the term cockblocking to Cas. Cas had sat on the couch with perfect posture. He listened, as he always did when Dean explained something, with that dazed and confused expression. Dean paced back and forth in a state of irritability and arousal. “Do you know how long it’s been, Cas, since I’ve had a piece of ass?”

“I believe you’ve gotten pieces of ass more recently than I have, Dean. My last sexual encounter was with the reaper, April.” Cas had experienced much in his human form, but he still felt like an innocent, humorless child to Dean in moments like this.

“Piece of…” Dean shook his head. “Nevermind. Look, it’s been a long fuckin’ time, okay?”

Cas stared at the cushion between his open legs, processing. “My intrusion prevented you from reaching orgasm with Julie.” He stared back at Dean with a head tilt and puppy dog eyes. “I am sorry.”

Dean cleared his throat. “Whatever.”

Cas had then gone on about the troubles he was having with Jack. Dean took it all in and promised he’d come over bright and early the next morning to try and talk to the kid. Cas still looked perplexed as Dean scooted him out of the house, explaining they wouldn’t be playing cards that night.

The grass in front of Cas’s house was drenched in dew. A thin film of grey fog hung low in the air. Dean sipped hard and long at the coffee. He let the strong brew settle on his tongue and inhaled the dark roast aroma he craved. He needed the caffeine to do its job this morning. He’d only clocked a couple hours of sleep. It was nothing new. But he could usually catch up on the insomnia in the late morning when he was home. Not today. There were things on his agenda after he took care of this unpleasant family business. They would require way more energy than what he currently had to expend with Jack and Cas.

Julie is number one on my to do list. The other items being all the things I want to do to Julie.

His cock had begged for attention all night and morning. Even now, sitting in the driver’s seat, he could feel his semi press with insistence against the denim. But he’d refrained. It wasn’t like he hadn’t beat off to thoughts of Julie before. It had become a daily, sometimes multiple times a day, occurrence since that first night after he tasted her cobbler. He’d dropped the phone immediately after the text conversation had ended, letting her know how good her sweet treat had been, and jerked off imagining how sweet she tasted.

After getting a hint of what she tasted like last night, he was hell bent on having her wrapped around him the next time he came. He leaned back in his seat and tilted the rearview mirror to confirm he had that cheesy ass grin on his face from his thoughts of her. This is bad. The dissatisfaction of how Julie was getting under his skin battled with the want to experience this other feeling fully. You’re just gonna fuck it up. Can’t do normal. Tried it once and it didn’t stick. And, she’s too sweet to hurt.

Lisa had been sweet, too. But Lisa had a streetsmart edge that made her a kickass single mom long before Dean came into the picture. Plus, Lisa and Ben had the benefit of having their minds erased - thanks, Cas - of Dean’s existence after he’d put their lives in danger from being a part of his. If Dean tried the experiment again with Julie, there’d be no “Men in Black” take-it-back wipe. The once angel, now human, had lost his power after the final battle that had righted this world back on its axis two years ago. Jack was all human now, too.

The lack of celestial backup had been the hardest adjustment after over a decade of relying on it as a fail-safe. Dean could only imagine how it was for Cas. They’d had a few heart to hearts over whiskey, which now knocked Cas on his ass after one shot. The brother from another father had been to the mat for him and Sam more times than Dean could count. Helping save the world and giving up everything that made him special dropped Cas into a world of trivial every day that he would never snap out of. Not until he died. Which was another mindfuck for Cas. After centuries, he would die. There would be a finality to all of it. But, I’ll have my own version of heaven to look forward too, Dean. That’s something. I won’t be swallowed up by the empty and cease to be. My soul will be at peace. Dean had clapped his friend’s shoulder as he cried, realizing the same would happen to Jack. Someday.

After two years of keeping your nose as far out of normal as possible, you’ve got to go and mess with this sweet woman.

Dean tilted his head and started that inner debate he’d done too many times lately. To be fair, she started sniffing around me first.

Get off your high horse, asshole. You’ve been sniffed around dozens of times before and steered clear. You’re lonely and she’s so far from what you deserve that you’re curious. You wanna see if you can make something stick. Like Sammy has with Eileen.

Sammy’s moved on and is trying to build a life. Why shouldn’t I?

Because you’re a speeding train with non-existent brakes heading straight towards the edge of a cliff, that’s why. Fucking train wreck on bow legs.

The phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out. Julie was calling. It was 7:30 am. The emotional lashing removed from his psyche, swiped away with Baby’s windshield wipers. It was replaced by that feeling she’d been stirring up within him more lately. It was more than arousal. He denied himself to define it. If he did, it might disappear.

He accepted the call on the fourth ring while clearing his throat. “Well, good morning, beautiful.”

“Hey, Dean.” Her voice was lighter this morning, more like the tone he was used to hearing. Not that he at all minded the lower, commanding pitch of the indecent woman he got a preview of last night. Shit. His erection was growing. He shifted in his seat.

“Couldn’t wait for me to check in first, huh?”

She laughed. “Guess not. I didn’t see your car when I got up this morning. Things okay?”

“Yeah. Things are good.” He grinned and tapped a button on his phone.

“Are you trying to FaceTime me?”

“Sounds dirty.”

She laughed again. “Everything sounds dirty to you.” She sighed trying to sound done with him, but he knew she wasn’t. “Hold on.” He held the phone back. His screen only provided a quick preview of his own state. Bags under his eyes and unshaven, he didn’t look as put together as the night before.

The screen switched to a view of Julie. Her brown hair was up in a bun. The hair looked freshly washed as did the rest of her enticing olive colored skin. When I make her blush it’s got splotches of cotton candy pink all over it. He appreciated the slope and curve of her neck. Big, brown almond-shaped eyes stared him down, studying him, from behind glasses. He’d put her in the role of hot librarian in a few of his release sessions. He particularly liked the one where she was bent over a desk and he was fucking her from behind hard enough to knock books off nearby shelves. He had a sneaking suspicion she’d be up for that kind of roleplaying. He really liked her in those tight button up shirts she wore to work a lot.

Her voice brought him out of his erotic daydreaming. “You’re lucky I’m presentable. Or, I would have denied you.” She quipped. There it was, that little hint of dominance. It came out on occasion and thrilled him with the facets and possibilities of this seemingly normal, but very interesting, woman. “Where are you?”

“Outside Cas’s house.”

“You’re over Cas’s already?”

“Yeah. He asked if I’d talk to the kid. I had to get here early.” She sipped at her large mug of coffee and sat at her kitchen table. “Jack’s apparently planning a trip to visit a girl he met online. Was going to buy a plane ticket and leave today.”

Julie’s already big eyes widened farther. “Wow. When you say kid…”

Dean scratched at the stubble. “He’s twenty. Kid to me. Plus, Jack’s also…” He opened his mouth to attempt a description but shook his head instead.

Julie grinned. “Special?”

Dean nodded. “Must be hereditary.” Or a common “I was once an angel and I’m trying to figure out how to be human” thing. Fuck my life. How would this woman ever understand and be okay with even an ounce of this insanity?

“Still there? I think you froze.”

Dean had gone into his thoughts long enough for Julie to think the connection had been lost. “I’m here.” He cleared his throat. “It’s been tough. Cas tried to shelter him from a lot of things. Can’t control him anymore.”

Julie shrugged. “Well, no, of course not. He’s his own person. He’s going to have to make mistakes and learn from them.”

“Yeah. This might end up being more of an intervention for Cas, I think.”

She gave him a slight smile. “I hope things go well.”

“Thanks.” His mouth perked up. “What are you doing later?”

Julie grinned. “Wasn’t planning on much today. Run some errands after breakfast. Lazy Saturday.”

“Can I come by?”

Her eyes lit up. “Of course. But you might want to rest up first. You look tired.”

He puckered his lips together in thought before he asked, “are you planning to wear me out?”

She nodded. “Lots of pent up frustration I need to get out.”

His tongue swiped over his top lip. “Can’t wait.”

That produced a giggle and shake of her head. “Bye, Dean.” She waved a few fingers in front of her face.

“Bye, Jules.” She ended the call first. He didn’t think he would have been able to. He much rather preferred hiding in his car, staring at that pretty face, than having to go and do something even close to parenting with Jack. Hell, I’ll be parenting Cas today, too.

He groaned along with the hinges of Baby’s driver side door as he got out.

~~~~~

Dean drove back into his neighborhood and past Julie’s house around two o’clock. Her little blue compact wasn’t under the carport. Damn toy car. He shook his head. At least it’s a Chevy.

Dean had taken a sensible approach with Jack. When he got down to the nuts and bolts of it all, the kid was bored and looking for an adventure. And horny as hell. Something Dean could easily relate to at that particular moment. It took some time, but Dean convinced him to save up his earnings from his upcoming summer job. If things were still hot and heavy long distance with this girl, he should take a trip to see her in Texas during Winter break. For now, Dean enlightened him to the beauty and intricacies of sexting and phone sex. Jack was all smiles by the time Dean had left Cas’s house.

Once Dean pulled into his own driveway, he texted Julie. Just got home. Going to pass out. Call when you get home. I’ll jump the fence and be right over. He smirked, happy with the blend of eagerness and cheese in his composition. A decision to shower before his nap set him back fifteen minutes. The warm water relaxed and the steam released the residual alcohol from his pores. Sleep was merciful and came as soon as his head hit the pillow.

He stirred and was half-woken up to Wes’s voice drifting in from his open bedroom window. A pillow was about to be used to muffle the disruption when he identified another voice and cocked his head to listen.

Brigida? What the hell is she doing here? Dean moaned. Ugh, am I gonna get cockblocked by the feisty little Italian mother, too?

“It’s not like Giulia. I told her to come by and pick up some sausage and peppers I made. She said she’d be by around 11:00. And, now, she’s not picking up her phone. It doesn’t even ring, Wes. Just goes to that voicemail. And the map thingy says she’s here still. What does that mean?”

Wes mumbled something Dean couldn’t quite make out. He reached for his phone on the nightstand and checked the screen. No notifications appeared. He tapped his messages to make sure he hadn’t missed a reply from Julie. Nothing. His lips pursed. He tried to call her. Straight to voicemail. His heart sped up when he noticed the time. Six o’clock.

Dean shot up in bed, already dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. He pulled on some sneakers and hurried out to the backyard.

Brigida stood near the divide between Julie and Wes’s backyard. A large aluminum tray rested on her forearms and her purse dangled at the elbow. Wes was at his grill down near the edge of his own driveway. She and Wes both turned to Dean at his approach toward the fenceline.

“Dean-ah. Have you seen Giulia today?” There was no smile on her face in the greeting. The little lady was on a mission.

“I haven’t, Brigida.” His hands gripped the fence. “Everything alright?”

She shook her head. Her mouth opened and shut. “I- it’s not like her.” Her lips began to quiver.

Aw, hell. Dean jumped over the fence and rushed to Brigida. He pulled one of the patio chairs close to her short, stocky frame. Easing her to sit, he removed the warm tray from her grip and placed it on the table.

Wes came to her side with a pair of greasy tongs in hand. “I’m sure it’s nothing and Julie’s alright, Mamma.” Wes bumbled out the soothing statement. A stale stench of alcohol and pot emanated from the hippie.

Dean knelt down to talk to her. He placed a hand on her shoulder. “Did you knock on her door, ring the doorbell, Brigida?”

She nodded.

He pressed further. “Don’t you have a key? I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you let yourself in to check on her.”

“Wes told me he saw her leave earlier. And, I didn’t want to go in there by myself.” Her eyes darted to Wes and back to Dean. She leaned in and tried her best to whisper. “I thought, if she was home, she might be busy and didn’t want to walk in on… well, now that I know you were at your house and alone…”

Dean waited for more clarification. Someone else might have missed the tiniest of smiles on her aging lips. But, not Dean. “When I talked to her this morning, she said she might be seeing you later. Told me she had a nice time on your date last night.”

Wes tapped his tongs together at that bit of information. Dean smiled. Warmth shot over his cheeks. “Ah. Well, when I got home this afternoon her car wasn’t here.”

“When was that?” Brigida asked.

“About two.”

“Should we call the police?” Brigida pulled her phone out of her purse.

Dean shook his head. “Police won’t do anything. They’ll say it’s only been a few hours, really, since anyone’s heard…”

“It’s not like her.” Brigida repeated. “Something’s wrong.”

Dean nodded and patted her shoulder again. He’d only known Julie for a few weeks but even he knew something wasn’t right. From their texts and conversations, he’d found out a lot about the relationship she had with her mother. They were extraordinarily close. Their communications were daily.

Brigida wouldn’t be left waiting around without an explanation. Julie would have known it would result in a car ride over to check to see what happened. It made no difference that her adult daughter was competent and independent. Even if there was some possible hanky panky going on with Dean, Brigida made it abundantly clear she’d knock on doors and ring doorbells and wait in a backyard until her daughter told her everything was fine. This woman, who immigrated from Italy with no more than an elementary school education, was a fierce protector who would not be ignored. Dean made a mental note to not get on her bad side.

But first, they had to find Julie.

“I saw Julie leave around ten. I was working on the garden.” Wes piped in.

By now, Samuel had come out of the house and wandered over to the discussion. “What’s wrong?”

“Julie’s missing.” Wes stated.

“Missing?” Samuel’s eyes bugged out in alarm.

Dean stood up, his hand still on Brigida’s shoulder. He could feel her beginning to shake. “She’s not missing.” He attempted to defuse the escalation and nodded down to Brigida. “We’re just trying to figure out what might be keeping her out this long. She hasn’t been in contact with anyone.”

Samuel nodded back at Dean and placed a hand on Wes’s shoulder as well. Dean knew Samuel would try to redirect his partner with the phrasing of his words. “She did leave around ten. I was taking care of the flower beds out front.” Samuel snapped a finger. “She talked to that woman passing out those flyers, Wes.”

“Flyers?”

Samuel clarified. “Missing dog. She came by our porch and asked if we’d keep an eye out, right before she went over to Julie’s.”

“Pretty chocolate lab.” The expression on Wes’s face about the dog matched Brigida’s, thinking about Julie. “Where’s that flyer?” Wes slipped from under Samuel’s grip and went towards the direction of the grill. Man needs a leash. Dean shook his head.

Samuel sighed. “Julie seemed to know her. They talked for a few minutes at the end of her driveway. I’d gone back into the house for something. I saw Julie’s car driving up the lane when I came back out.”

“But, you’ve never seen that woman before?”

Samuel shook his head.

Wes shot back with the flyer and handed it to Dean. Aside from a picture and the name of the dog, there was only a number to call if someone could provide information. Dean turned the paper over but there was nothing on the back. A detail about Wes and Samuel’s house popped into his head. “You guys have one of those doorbell cameras, don’t you?”

Samuel smiled. “Yep.” He pulled out his phone, already going into the app to pull up the time in question.

“How about I get you something to eat, Mamma?” Wes asked Brigida.

She waved a hand in silence.

“Here it is.” Samuel passed his phone over to Dean.

He squinted at the video, impressed with the image’s clarity. His eyes widened in recognition. “Son of a bitch.”

“What?” Brigida, Wes, and Samuel asked in unison.

“I’ve seen Cocoa’s owner before. Last night, actually. At the restaurant we went to. She did know Julie.” Dean’s mind started putting puzzle pieces together.

“Maybe she’ll know where she was going.” Brigida exclaimed.

Dean raised a finger and pulled out his phone. He copied the number from the flyer into his keypad and dialed. His mouth pursed when it went straight to voicemail and he listened to the generic robot voice repeating the number. He waited for the beep. "Hi, I've got some info on your lost dog, Cocoa. You can reach me at the following number." After leaving his cell contact he hung up. He turned to Brigida. "I'll see what I can get out of her when she calls back."

"But, she'll be all hopeful about Cocoa," Wes began.

“What restaurant?” Brigida stood up. “We should go over there and talk to her.”

Dean nodded with caution. “Absolutely, Brigida. I’m going to go and do that right now.” He forced her to stare at him. “You’re going to stay here, with Wes and Samuel, in case Julie comes back home. Alright? I promise, I’ll let you know if I find out anything. With your permission, can I go into Julie's house with you and take a quick look around before I head out?”

“Of course.” She patted his cheek. “Such a good man.” She fished the key out of her purse, ready to walk up to the sliding door.

He shot Brigida a smile, attempting to hide his own worry. “Let’s get you inside so you can wait for your daughter to come home.”

~~~~~

Dean had inspected every room in Julie’s home. His inner radar picked up nothing weird or unusual. He wished he had his EMF meter with him. Next time I’m here I’ll do a proper sweep for her. When Julie’s back. Just to make sure she won’t have an unruly specter to contend with after this is over. And she’s back.

All he deduced was proof of a life being unpacked, reorganized, and put back together again. He’d stolen a few seconds in her office to stare at the picture of a teenage Julie with her awkward prom date. In her bedroom, he sniffed at the perfume bottle holding the scent she’d worn last night. Though nothing was amiss, the tangible remnants of her existence filled Dean with dread. Here. Then gone. In an instant. So many people in his life had disappeared like that. Not Julie, too.

He refused to rile up Julie’s mother with any more fear than she was already producing. She gave him an unexpected, long, and strong hug for a woman of her diminutive stature. “Find her, please.” He gave her a slight smile and rushed out into the backyard only to freeze on the lawn, unsure of his next step.

Possible ways to track her down ticked through Dean’s head. I could call in that favor.

A scroll through his phone’s contacts skidded to a stop. “Detective Tullman.” The thick southern accent answered.

“Marty. Dean Winchester.”

“Ah, Dean.” Dean had heard that particular phrase with that hesitant inflection countless times by a select group of people. These individuals crossed paths with Dean in his other line of work. Everything they knew of the world had been upended in an instant; usually the instant when Dean showed up on their doorstep. An encounter pulled them into the nastiness that lived under the translucent veil of normality.

“What can I do ya for? Aren’t in a jail cell sleepin’ off a bender, are ya?” The detective’s tone changed as Dean knew it would. What had started out a year back as a collaborative and mutually beneficial meeting on a standard bail enforcement job escalated into something much worse. Marty called Dean to relay his skip had been found; shot by a security guard after a bank robbery attempt in Newark. He was in an ambulance headed to the trauma center at the nearest hospital. His accomplice had escaped and was on the loose.

Only problem was, Dean was staring at his skip in a backyard that belonged to an apparent girlfriend. Was he sure they had the right guy? Dean sent Marty a picture of the person he was watching. The detective high-tailed it to the house a mile from the crime scene. The fucking thing shed its skin in the tiny yard while he and Marty looked on in bewilderment over the top of the wooden fence.

A chase ensued near abandoned train tracks. Marty bum rushed it to the ground but got overpowered. The monster pulled a knife from its boot and raised it over its head. Sunshine glinted off the blade as it readied to sink the tip into the detective’s chest. Dean shot the knife out of its grip. He followed by firing two silver bullets into its heart. What he was pretty certain was the dead body of a shapeshifter slumped on top of Marty.      

Thoughts and details came together in Marty’s head once the shock wore off. The body in front of him was the other bank robber. He, or it, had known the skip for a while and were low level partners in crime. Dean suggested the shifter may have had a hard on for the other guy’s girl, who thankfully wasn’t home. Most monsters also battled human vices. Lust and greed were a common denominator.

The detective came up with a story to cover their combined asses. They both spent a couple hours at the shootout location rehashing it over and over. Dean watched Marty hold his shit together quite well with a ton of law enforcement, CSI, and emergency personnel swarming like bees for evidence and details.

Dean and Marty bonded over cold beers at the closest bar. Dean found out Marty had been deployed to Iraq back in 2003. He’d been on the frontline of war for two years. He was a reliable, steadfast soldier. Nervous before a battle, but willing to put his life on the line for the greater good. They had a lot of commonality when it came to bloodshed. The nightmares that collided and crept into their days without warning simply involved different enemies.

“I need some help.”

Marty chuckled. “Ain’t gonna cost me my badge is it? I know I owe you my life, but I still got a wife and kids to feed.”

“Shouldn’t. Friend’s gone missing. It’s only been half a day, but it’s not adding up.”

“Local friend?”

“Yeah. Pike Creek.”

“Whaddya got for me?”

He smiled and rattled off Julie’s full name and the license plate he’d committed to memory. “Drives a blue, compact Chevy,” He added. “Five foot five. Long brown hair, probably in a ponytail, brown eyes, wears glasses. Italian, if that helps.”

“She cute?” Marty asked.

“Very.”

“Alrighty, I’ll have some guys keep an eye out in the area.”

“I’m gonna do my own investigating. Appreciate it, man. Thanks.”

“Thank me if I find ya somethin’.” He hung up.

Samuel popped into Dean’s view from under Julie’s covered patio. “What are you going to do when you get to the restaurant?” The balding man folded up his glasses and hung them from the collar of his t-shirt. Dean had learned from interactions over the past two years that Samuel was sharp and much harder to misdirect than Wes.

“Just ask this woman some questions.” Dean began his cut through their backyard to shorten the walk back to the house. He wasn’t keen on hopping the fence again.

Samuel kept pace with his quick steps. “Why would she answer any of your questions?”

“She saw me with Julie last night. I’m not some random stalker.” He tapped Samuel’s elbow. “Don’t you worry. I have some other tricks up my sleeve.”

“I’m sure you do.” His tone was hopeful.

Are you really flirting with me, dude? Now? “Listen, Samuel. Would you sit with her? I’d ask Wes, but…”

“Brigida doesn’t need unintentional, emotional triggering.” Samuel nodded. “You’ve got my and Wes’s number, right? Call one of us with good news.”

When Dean slid into Baby’s driver seat fifteen minutes later, he’d donned a suit that had been hanging in his closet, unworn, for over six months. That was the last time he had impersonated an FBI agent. The badge was still in the jacket’s inside pocket.

His hunting trips, the ones that had always really mattered, were few and far between now. Six months ago, he’d introduced himself as agent Agent Barrow on that excursion near Atlantic City. The four-day ghost investigation ended with a salt and burn. The corpse was found buried on the grounds of an abandoned chemical plant.

Noxious fumes had permeated the air around him with each shovel full of earth. The stench seeped into and clung to the well-creased suit pants. He should have changed before the dig; that is, if he’d remembered to bring a change of clothes from the motel to start. He was getting rusty from a lack of daily discipline, forgetting what had become rote for decades.

He remembered hiking back to Baby around two am, exhausted, after exhuming the remains. There was no way he was contaminating the car’s interior with that smell. So he drove back to the motel wearing only his boxers, dress shoes, socks, and his watch. The stinky clothes were stuffed in a garbage bag. After he helped the soul find peace, his reward was walking through the motel parking lot, up a flight of stairs, to his second floor room in only his skivvies. Had to get the damn suit dry cleaned, too.

Dean caught a light whiff of the chemicals, hopelessly embedded in the suit threads forever. His mind raced with a million thoughts driving to Makenzie’s steakhouse. But Julie was at the forefront of them. It was a long twenty minute drive.

Find her, please. How many times had he heard similar distressing requests? Hundreds, maybe. All of them had a missing loved one they were desperate to track down and bring home safe. How many times had he not been able to do that? Not today. He shook his head and tried to smile. She’s not done with me yet.

Julie’s voice bubbled up into his mind when he glanced at the passenger seat.

“So, Baby belonged to your Dad?” She attempted some conversation as Dean raced to beat the reservation.

“Yep.” He responded, eyes on the road swerving in and out of traffic. Once he was happy with his spot in the fast lane, no one in front of him for a good stretch, he cocked his head in her direction. Her eyes, big and brown, inspected the interior while her hand clamped on the door handle. “Pretty, isn’t she?” Dean smirked, proud.

“She is. Almost as pretty as her owner.” Her gaze locked onto his lips.

“Hey now.” He put on the show he knew she wanted and licked them nice and slow. “She’ll get offended, you thinking I’m prettier.”

“I’m sorry, Baby.” She stroked the dash. “It’s true, though.”

Dean laughed. “I’m pretty, huh?” He shot back at Julie and glanced in the rearview mirror before crossing over three lanes of traffic to get off the interstate.

Julie gasped. “Going to kill us before our date even gets started. If you’re going to drive like a maniac, you should at least be wearing a seatbelt.”

Baby careened down the ramp. When he got onto the avenue, his grip lifted off the wheel to fasten his lap belt. Both hands raised up in the air and he used his knee to steer. “Happy?” He reveled in her surprised reaction. The combo of scared and pissed off made her look even cuter.

“Okay, show-off.” She pointed at the wheel. “Hands at ten and two. Now.”

“Bossy.” He mumbled, returned his hands to the correct placement on the wheel, and pretended he wasn’t turned on by her commanding behavior. Slowing down in traffic, he shot her a sassy grin. “You done?”

“Done? “With you?” She tossed back with an equal amount of sass. “Just getting started.”

His ringing phone shot him out of his recollection. A glimmer of hope filled his voice as he answered. “Got something for me, detective?”

“Not sure if it’s anything good, my friend.” Marty was a straight shooter. “Officer found her car in a shopping center parking lot. Mile down the road from her house, in your neighborhood.” Marty was very good at his job. He didn’t miss a detail and double checked every bit of info. “No one in the vehicle. I’ve asked my guy to go into the stores and ask around. Have her paged, if needed. As long as we don’t get another emergency that takes him away, he’s on it for the next hour.”

It wasn’t bad news. Yet.

Part 12

Series Page

#dean winchester fanfiction #spn fanfic #dean x ofc #supernatural fanfiction #spnfanficpond #spn fanfic series #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester angst

[jancisstuff]

Aery Adventures - Tubers!

January 31 2019

Ulysses checks in with Jancis at the base camp, showing off an impressive collection of tubers. The talk briefly of... talking to one another. A common appreciation of food and knowing how hard times need to be shared foreshadows comforts and friendship to come.

Jancis Milburga stands by a semi-large jug with water, a large cutting from a plant sticking out of it. She leans in and studies parts of it, gently pinching and murmuring, palm going out to test something. Stepping back, she picks up her notebook and writes some. Ulysses Derosiers seems to be equipped in a similar sort of way.  He's wearing a broad, rectangular sort of bag with a thick strap that arcs over his shoulder.  It's practically brimming with roots and tubers of various sorts, likely having just returned from gathering.  "Madame," He politely announces his presence, standing some respectable distance away. Jancis Milburga turns at the voice, up from the laurel cutting that was clear now, and brightens up! She looks about, not really seeing anyone else walking around. "Ulysses! Good eve." She gives him a a typical healer look-over and notices the bag and comes over. "Matron's Bounty! Look at the tubers. I found a whole patch of dandelions earlier, but nothing like this." You bow courteously to Ulysses Derosiers. Ulysses Derosiers provides Jancis with a sort of proud expression, like a retriever that had just brought back the mallard.   "I transcribe a great deal of my success to my experience with the region," He explains, "Although, I had a few other lucky finds.  I trust that my next few dishes will be that much more appealing."  He greets Jancis in a more informal way as she scampers in close, moving to sweep her into a one-armed squeeze. Jancis Milburga was checking the bag with admiration. "I do not know how. These tubers make stew so thick. It-" Unexpected, but not retreated from, the hyur smiles and returns the hug as best her range could to a tall man with a sack of potatoes strapped to his chest. "It will be a great treat." Jancis Milburga: "Can I help? I can be quite useful. I have dandelions." Ulysses Derosiers chortles, eventually releasing the smaller woman.  "Help is always appreciated." He provides, affording her a sort of appreciative look.  "I'll need to fetch some manner of protein as well, but that can wait a little longer while I linger and chat.  I still need to decide what manner of game I feel in the mood to chase." Jancis Milburga gets her balance again, "How do you hunt? In the Shroud I would set up snares or use a spear in the river. Things are somewhat bigger here. And it would be a lot of critters to catch for this bounty." Ulysses Derosiers pauses to consider, "There are small things to trap, as one might expect.  Elsewise, I'll likely be stringing my bow to bring down a bigger bird.  It seems that the group we've assembled has a fair appetite, so I have no fears that anything might be wasted." He states, "I've been catching fish for the last few pots, and I feel that it's time to switch things up." Jancis Milburga: "I have heard of them, but by the time I return they are gone." She does a dramatic sigh with her shoulders, then laughs at her own joke. "Bird would be good. Make good stock, too, for the future. Are birds a mood?" You gaze upon Ulysses Derosiers in deep reflection. Ulysses Derosiers lifts a hand to brush a digit through his bearded chin, "I suppose if the mood was 'lots of plucking' then, yes.  Do you have any desire for thousands of yellow feathers?  Because I'll have a wealth of them after I down the bird." He provides, "Could make for a fancy cape?"  He adds, wryness creeping there into his expression.  "What have you got there?  Homework?" He inquires, gesturing to what she'd been working on. Jancis Milburga widens her eyes at the question, her voice softer in awe at such a prospect of thousands of feathers, "I would help pluck. I am good at plucking." Turning back, "No, I thought it would not last the trip back to home just yet. I was checking to see how sturdy this laurel is. It is quite fragrant, makes me think of fond times." She smiles at the plant softly before apologizing, "It is also useful for its water! Can treat coughs or if anyone is troubled sleeping here. Many are." Ulysses Derosiers continues to brush his knuckles loosely into his beard, "It's a varied group that we've got assembled here, so I'm unsurprised to hear that there are some problems that came with them.  I am glad that you are here, at least.  You're a patient touch with problems, I've found." He states, shifting the strap on his shoulder. Jancis Milburga looks back up at him and then his beard, quoting, “Every problem is a gift - without problems we would not grow.” "Does this place give you unease to sleep, too? You are being productive in it, a helpful guest in what use to be a forbidden thought. A cape of yellow feathers. A big pillow and blanket full of down. Your hair was once yellow." Jancis Milburga: "I wish I could look upon it fondly, glad you lived so long for the silver to come, and I lucky to see it. It is too soon." Ulysses Derosiers could not help but laugh, "It isn't quite entirely silver just yet." Ulysses notes with a huff of indignation, "I'm only just approaching thirty, I haven't quite vaulted over it."  He states, lifting a hand to loosely brush his fingers through his hair.  "While I don't find trouble sleeping, I often only visit it briefly.  Too few hours in the day, you know?" Jancis Milburga: "Only just. Fewer approach such age! But. Yes. I am fairly use to it. My meditations ease that burden. I. I could watch you, if that would help you sleep." Ulysses Derosiers curls a brow in some momentarily muted amusement, "I don't know how much that would actually assuage my concerns.  I'd be worried I'd talk in my sleep and say something embarrassing."  He huffs, "I don't need much sleep, anyway.  And I supplement it with little naps throughout the day." Jancis Milburga only looks more curious, "How do you know you talk in your sleep?" Ulysses Derosiers: "I have been informed!  People who have been with me when I am asleep noted that they carried on brief, but strange conversations with me." Jancis Milburga purses her lips in thought, "I do not understand how that would be more embarrassing than talking while awake." She reaches out to the sack on his chest, looking inside again. "Where are we taking this?" Ulysses Derosiers doesn't seem to mind Jancis looking in his sack.  It's full of all sorts of earthy smells and interesting textures.  "I was just going to store it for the time being until I had need to feed another multitude." He states, "And, because I'm not aware of what I'm saying while I'm asleep!" Jancis Milburga takes in a deep breath and looks pretty happy at the smell and variety. "It is you, Ulysses, you will say things you say and think. That is easy. And you are good at both of those." She smiles up at him without any doubts! "Maybe you do not speak enough if you feel the need to in your slumber." Jancis Milburga: "Or there is something so pressing upon you, you only allow yourself to speak of it in such a state." Ulysses Derosiers laughs, "Oh, I am not so sure about that.  The last conversation that I had while I was asleep involved some frantic desire to have my boots boiled, and I was not assuaged until I was promised of such." He provides, looking amused.  "I can understand the meaning behind what you say though.  Do we all not carry a wealth of unsaid things, though?" Jancis Milburga laughs at the boots in good humor before looking thoughtful, "A wealth. Verily, it is hard to find enough time to say everything. Children are much better at it. Far more focused! I try to say things to myself like it a lot. For example that plant over there. That leaf near the top is the perfect shape to make a boat and sail around the water barrels we have in stock. And then I had this vision of paddling around with a reed but then everyone would be much larger!" You smile at Ulysses Derosiers. Jancis Milburga: "You are picturing it, too?" Ulysses Derosiers taps his chin for some long, thoughtful moments.  "I don't know how well I'd fit into such a boat.  I've never been much of a paddler, more of a swimmer anyhow."  He provides, his lips pursing in some measure of thought.  "I do my best to let people have an inkling of what carries out behind my eyes, though." Jancis Milburga: "As you said the other day. About your family. Mayhaps we can help eachother talk more. Not about leaves or feathers. I mean not just about leaves and feathers. Then our wealth will be shared." Jancis Milburga adds quickly, "I would still not mind hearing about boiled boots and the like, too." Ulysses Derosiers shifts from heel to heel, looking momentarily ruminant.  "You'd be the first person I spoke to, regarding the matter.  So I expect you'll understand if I am a little... raw."  He clears his throat, "Nonetheless, I should wash all these before I think about preparing them." He provides, giving his bag a little shake. Jancis Milburga takes in a slow breath, humble at that statement. Her head bows a bit before looking back at his eyes. "Where the light enters us." She reaches out and grips his arm, going to the side this time to give him a better embrace, the most stalwart hug the hyur could. "I will go see what I can find in birds. Rest and mayhaps wash up after pampering these roots." She steps away and waves back as she moves out of the camp.

#Ulysses Derosiers #jancis milburga

[transastronautistic]

I have some friends that watch the good doctor and I’ve only seen one episode but I wanted to know if you think it’s good representation of autism and if there is anything I should know before I watch it because it looks really good?

Ah yes hello!! Overall I think The Good Doctor is a fantastic portrayal of one autistic person – it does not try to represent All Autistic People, and that’s a good thing. It’s not perfect, but it’s pretty great. I find a lot of Shaun’s actions and experiences very relateable as an autistic person.

I’ll start with some general content warnings so that you know what to watch out for when starting the show; then I’ll go through the pros and cons of its portrayal of autism.

Content warnings for the show:

Anti-autistic ableism. Other characters are often ableist towards Shaun. This is usually portrayed well, in my opinion – it’s what I would expect from other surgeons and from some patients when an autistic surgical resident comes into a hospital; but it’s not always fun to watch. As the season has gone on, ableism from the main characters has (mostly) decreased, luckily! They’re learning. However, spoilers for a later episode, one character pushes Shaun into a meltdown at one point

Abuse, animal cruelty. In some of the earliest episodes, there’s emotional abuse of Shaun by his dad as well as very cruel bullying from his peers, and there’s also brief animal cruelty.

Death of a sapphic woman. In one episode, a sapphic woman dies after being injured and we see her wife grief. That was really hard for me to watch; if you message me I can tell you which ep and give you more details.

Death and surgical gore stuff, as you would expect in a medical drama.

Weaknesses in its portrayal of autism:

Non-autistic actors and consultants. Shaun is played by Freddie Highmore, who is not autistic. It definitely would have been cooler to have an actually autistic actor. And the main “autism consultant” of the show is Melissa Reiner, who isn’t autistic herself but works with “families who have children on the Autism spectrum.” (The explanation of her work with autistic kids is not worded super great but at least aba isn’t mentioned, so hey, maybe her therapy is actually good?) Still, the portrayal of autism feels real and accurate enough that I’m surprised that the actor and consultant are not autistic; wherever they’re getting their information, it’s working for them.

Not a diverse portrayal of autism. Shaun is a white man, most likely cis and probably straight – just like most portrayals of autism already in fiction. Some people genuinely don’t realize that people other than white men can be autistic, and lack of diverse representation doesn’t help fight that misconception. The only other canonically autistic character so far was also white and male. (I do want to note that the actual show has a lot of racial diversity and some great female characters, though. So it’s not horrible in terms of overall diversity.)

Claiming Shaun has savant syndrome. I don’t think Shaun has any traits that can’t be explained simply by autism; they didn’t have to give him savant syndrome. I feel like they did it just to explain his high intelligence…as if autistic people…can’t be smart? idk. What do other autistic folks think about that?

Functioning labels are used in the show. I don’t recall Shaun ever calling himself high-functioning, but other characters sometimes call him that.

Infringements on Shaun’s agency. A character who is near and dear to Shaun keeps pushing Shaun to get a caregiver despite Shaun clearly not wanting one, and it’s annoying me. Still, if the overall message ends up being that this is a bad thing (the arch isn’t complete yet so I’m not sure if it will or won’t), then I’d move this point over to the show’s strengths.

Strengths in its portrayal of autism:

Switching between person first and identity first language. Since autistic people ourselves will often switch around saying we’re autistic, have autism, or are on the spectrum, I like that the characters switch around their language too. I tried to keep count of which language Shaun used most, I think it was fairly evenly split between have autism and autistic. 

Autistic traits without overdoing it. Some fiction crams a ton of traits into one character as if to be autistic you have to express the whole list of traits…I don’t feel like this show does that with Shaun. But here are some of the traits he does express:

 sensory overload – Shaun responds to unfamiliar and/or overwhelming environments by rocking or fiddling with his toy knife, and seems to be semi-verbal during them: unable to answer questions but able to reply to statements. He rocks when distressed.

special interests – it is clear that human anatomy is a special interest for Shaun; when a traumatic thing happens engaging in this interest is the only comfort he has. I write more on the show’s treatment of special interests in this post (with show spoilers).

routine

samefoods!

high spatial intelligence

difficulty understanding sarcasm and flirting

trouble expressing to others what he plans to do sometimes

uncomfortable with physical contact, though he usually tolerates it and at at least one point initiates it on his own terms

at least one shutdown and one meltdown are depicted

repeating phrases – some being instances of echolalia, others being an attempt to make people understand

fixation on what needs to be done; he calls it perseveration – he won’t stop thinking about a thing if it spikes his interest or seems out of place to him or is a puzzle to be solved

Stimming! The word stimming has only been used one time in the show so far; I do wish it was used more often, especially since the one instance of its use was for the behavior of the teen-aged autistic patient featured in one episode – that was an example of anxious, overwhelmed stimming, so it would be nice to have them use that word to name an instance of positive stimming as well, in my opinion. But anyway, whether or not they call it stimming Shaun stims a lot! It’s usually in more subtle ways, which gives me the feeling he’s been taught to repress more overt stims, which makes sense with his history of abuse and bullying. Some of his main stims include holding his hands folded, pacing, and rocking. When he’s upset or overstimulated he raises his hands near his head and at one point when melting down hits his head.

Breaking down some stereotypes.

Even though they call him “high functioning,” Shaun does not fit the usual definition of that label. He needs less support for some things, and more for other things. There are times when he is selectively verbal.

Shaun evinces deep compassion for people, which is nice when “emotionless, heartless robot” is a common stereotype about autistic people. At the same time, the way he expresses that compassion and his emotions is not a neurotypical way, and some characters miss it.

Shaun gets crushes and seems to have a sex drive. Fiction tends to make autistic characters completely desexualized or else over-sexualized in a creepy way (like in Netflix’s Atypical, where the guy doesn’t respect boundaries or consent). While I personally am not a fan of some of the ways they portray Shaun’s sexuality, it is cool that they’re trying to dismantle the usual stereotypes.

Shaun is able to establish meaningful relationships, contrary to a really hurtful stigma about autistic people. His relationship with his brother as a kid, his relationship with Dr. Glassman, and his friendship with Claire are some examples. Something I appreciate about his friendship with Claire is that she doesn’t expect him to make all the effort at communicating her way – she tries to communicate his way, too.

Portraying anti-autistic ableism as a civil rights issue. In the first episode, the discussion around whether an autistic person should be “allowed” to be a surgeon is framed as a civil rights issue – Aaron talks about how not long ago a Black surgeon or a woman surgeon would not have been accepted at the hospital, and it’s likewise bigoted to reject a surgeon simply for being autistic. He notes how the same arguments were used – did they have the emotional control, what would the patients think – to bar women and Black people that the hospital is now using against Shaun.

Do other autistic folks have any thoughts on the pros and cons of autistic representation in The Good Doctor?

#autTGD #autisticwatchingthegooddoctor #the good doctor #autistic representation #doctor shaun murphy #chatting tag #averygaypost #Anonymous

[danganronpawritings]

Unspoken (Ishimaru x OC Kazuki Saito)

Of course they both knew that something was there, but they both thought that they were just very good friends. Neither had even considered the possibility of something more than that. After all, they both had little experience with friends and no experience with love. … “You know, I could simply stand, Ishimaru-san.” Kazuki said from outside of one of the school’s storage facilities. “Nonsense! You walk with a cane. I won’t allow you to stand for an entire period! Plus, you’re the one that offered to serve as hall monitor with me.” Kiyotaka came out holding a spare chair over his head. “Here, I insist that you take this!” “U-understood…” Kazuki reluctantly took the chair and set it down, before carefully sitting. “Thank you very much, Ishimaru-san. I a-appreciate it.” “Of course! Anything for my friend!” Kiyotaka saluted happily. Kazuki smiled lightly “You just l-love that word don’t you?” “Which word?” “Friend. You say it…rather often.” “D-does it bother you!? I’m sorry, I-“ “N-no, I am not bothered by it at all! In fact, it is…quite nice, to hear someone call me that…” Kiyotaka breathed a sigh of relief. “O-oh…I’m glad, because…” Kiyotaka looked down awkwardly. “I…really like saying it. I’m not…sure why.” Kazuki paused for a moment, almost in shock, before looking at his friend and saying “I feel…e-exactly the same…” “Not surprising, but definitely relieving!” “Good…good.” … The next day during his free period, Kiyotaka was in the library, a common occurrence for him, this time studying Latin phrases. While he was engrossed in the book, Mondo entered the library, his sharp walk contrasting the quiet environment without a word. “Sup man?” Kiyotaka didn’t seem to hear him at all and chose to simply flip to the next page. “Bro?” Still no response. “TAKA! FUCKING LISTEN!” Kiyotaka finally looked up. “Oh, hey bro! Please do not yell in the library. This is meant to be a place of quiet study and tranquility! Nothing should disturb that!” Kiyotaka immediately realized his mistake and covered his mouth. “Well, I wouldn’t have ta yell if ya’d just listen the first fuckin’ time.” Mondo sighed deeply “Anyway, watcha up to? I don’t remember you takin’ Latin.” Kiyotaka’s response was immediate and had some sort of snap to it. “Oh, I’m not! However, Kazuki is taking Latin and I promised to help him. I tried to tell him that he would do well on his own, but he insisted. Something about my ‘superior organizational abilities.’” “Ah, that dandy? I should’ve fuckin’ known. You’re getting close with him, huh?” “Please don’t refer to him as a ‘dandy.’ That’s simply offensive. Also, of course we’re getting close! We are friends after all. Why wouldn’t we be close?” “No, man, I mean you’re gettin’…close.” As Mondo said this he winked as deviously as possible. Kiyotaka responded flatly, completely oblivious to the wink. “That’s…the same thing you just said. I’d ask that you refrain from repeating yourself.” Mondo emphatically facepalmed, whispering “This thick motherfucker.” “What was that? Be clear with your words!” “No, Taka, I mean CLOSE. As in intimate. Ya know, boyfriends? Is that clear enough for ya?!” “Gah…!” Kiyotaka seemed to completely freeze. “Taka?” As if he was a literal broken record, Kiyotaka uttered “Wha…wha…wha…” for an entire minute. Thus, Mondo decide to handle Kiyotaka’s sputtering the same way that he’d handle a real broken record; by punching. As of on cue, Kiyotaka uttered a resounding “WHATWHATWHATWHATWHAT!?!?!?” “Umm…bro? You feelin’ okay?” “NO! I DON’T THINK I AM! I..I FEEL WEIRD! AAAHHHHH!” Kiyotaka put his hands against his head, as if not wanting to hear something. At point, others in the library were beginning to shoot the pair dirty looks. Mondo sighed “Jeezuz.” Shortly, he dragged Kiyotaka out of the library and got him a safe distance away before punching him again, this time in his face. His nose bled a bit, but not severely. Taka clutched his nose on instinct. “B-bro, why would you-?” “Shaddup and listen! Now, ya said you feel ‘weird.’ Good weird or bad weird?” “Both! N-neither! Umm…I DON’T KNOW!” “Keep goin’…” Kiyotaka looked at the ground as he spoke, thoroughly embarrassed “I…I really like Kazuki. I mean…he’s one of my best friends…and this weird feeling…it’s kind of like what I feel when I’m with him…” “What!? Why didn’t ya say somethin’ earlier?” “I…I thought it was normal…” “You thought…a feeling like that…was normal…?” “Y-Yes! Like…like something you feel with all of your friends…” “Didja ever feel that way with me…? Anyone else?” Kiyotaka’s eyes widened and he looked up “Umm…no…” “THEY WHY WOULD YOU THINK IT WAS FUCKING NORMAL!?” “Gah!” Kiyotaka quickly looked down again “U-Umm, my most sincere apologies. I should have been wiser…maybe I should have studied a book on love!” Kiyotaka formally bowed, now furiously crying. Mondo sighed, this time solemnly, and put his hand behind his head “Dammit, I’m sorry…c’mon stop cryin’.” Kiyotaka sniffed “Y-Yeah…Yeah. Sorry…” “So, you were sayin’? I’m thinking there’s a ‘but’ coming up?” “Yes…I told you how I feel…b-but…these feelings…they’re not appropriate for a school environment���” Mondo thought for a moment, and finally came up with the genius response “Why?” “Wh-why…?” “Yeah, why!?” “Umm…b-because…!” “That ain’t a reason.” “I…” Kiyotaka stood for a few minuets, obviously in shocked contemplation. Suddenly, he smiled. It was somehow different than his normal smile, but Mondo couldn’t pin down how. “You know what…I think you’re right bro!” It was now Mondo’s turn to be surprised “W-wait, no shit?” “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have research to do!” Kiyotaka cheerily saluted and quickly walked away. Even if it was an urgent situation, he couldn’t run in the halls. Mondo watched as Kiyotaka walked out of his sight. “What the fuck just happened?” … Kazuki ambled through the halls, reading through his Latin dictionary. While it may have been dangerous for most people to walk and read, Kazuki had never had a problem with it and he didn’t plan to start on this day. He technically should’ve been in the library during his free period, but Kiyotaka has insisted on doing private research before they studied together, so Kazuki found it pertinent to leave him be. “Venditionis. That would be…s-selling.” Kazuki said this aloud, presumably to no one. However, someone did approach shortly after he uttered these words. “Hey Kaz!” Hirono greeted her friend with a small wave. Kazuki looked at her over the top of his book. “Salve Ishikawa-san! Quid tu agis?” “I’m just putting up posters for our school fundraiser.” Hirono held up some blue tape and then sighed sarcastically “Send the girl with two prosthetic legs to put up the posters. Great idea on the student council’s part.” Kazuki replied with equal sarcasm “Sent you…that’s odd. I seem to r-recall you asking to be put on the job because you needed more service hours for your degree. Perhaps I’m simply mi-misremembering. ” Kazuki snickered, though not loudly enough for Hirono to hear. “In any case, do you need a-assistance madame?” “Some Ultimate Gentleman you are! That should have been the first thing you asked.” Kazuki adjusted his glasses nonchalantly “You directed sarcasm towards me first. I simply re-retaliated. So…sh-shall I take that as a no, then?” “Yeah, no, I don’t need any help. After all, the student council gave ME this job. I’ll do it, no problem at all!” “Th-that is what I like to hear. I m-must congratulate you on you efforts, Ishikawa-san.” “Aww, thanks Kaz. Hey, speaking of the student council, how are you and Taka doing?” Kazuki donned a confused expression “Th-that was…a sudden change of topic…” “C’mon, just answer the question! How are you two doing?” Hirono asked this question with a slight touch of urgency. “Umm…I am…n-not exactly sure how to answer…” “Why’s that?” “Well, f-for one thing…Ishimaru-san and I are two different people. To answer your qu-question, I would need to give you…t-two answers…” “Umm, Kaz, that’s not exactly what I meant.” Kazuki then grew a bit more confused “…Then…wh-what did you mean…? Hirono showed her disappointment plainly “Do you really not have any clue what I’m trying to imply here?” “N-no, Ishikawa-san…I do not even have the f-foggiest notion…” “Geez, okay…umm…ah, yes! Kazuki, have you ever wanted a boooyfrieeend…?” Hirono made sure to stretch the last word in a semi-suggestive manner. However, Kazuki took no notice if this but instead said “D-do you insist on attempting to c-confuse me today, madame?” “What?” “I have m-multiple male friends. I…assumed that you were a-aware of that…” “Ugggggh…” Hirono clenched the bridge of her nose in frustration. “E-excuse me, am I…causing you undue stress? M-my apologies, I r-really should-“ “No Kaz! Boyfriend! One word! You get me!?” “No…” “Huh…!?” “What is a…’b-boyfriend?’” Kazuki uttered the final word with air quotes. “…” “Madame…?” “ARE YOU SERIOUS!?” “Umm…I-I…” “HOW CAN SOMEONE SO SMART BE THIS SOCIALLY DUMB!?” “P-perhaps you could calmly explain to me what a…’b-boyfriend’ is…? It’s possible that I am aware of it, just…under a d-different name.” Hirono sighed solemnly “Okay. A boyfriend is a guy that you want to have a closer relationship with. Like love.” Kazuki’s look of confusion didn’t fade. “…” “Kazuki?” “I…d-do not get it…” Hirono looked both shocked and crestfallen “Wh-What’s there not to get?” “Many things…the cl-closest thing that I can relate to this ‘boyfriend’ is a husband, but…there are m-many differences there…” “H-husband!? Nonono, a person is a boyfriend BEFORE marriage and then they become your husband!” “B-before…marriage? Th-there is a…step before marriage?” “What are you talking about!? Of course there is!” “Not that…I have e-ever know of…” “…WHAT!?” “Everyone that I have ever kn-known, including my parents, has had a spouse p-picked for them…by their parents or legal guardians. They often meet for the f-first time on their wedding day. Also, they do not marry for ‘love,’ they m-marry…for money and/or status.” Hirono covered her mouth in shock. She was sad, but couldn’t explain why. “D-damn…sometimes I…forget how rich you are…” Kazuki noticed her recoiling “I-l am really n-not trying to f-flaunt my money or to be a-arrogant I am just…I am just so genuinely confused right now…I have no idea what we are speaking about…” “B-but that’s…s-so…fucked up!”Hirono began to cry. “H-Hirono…!” Without even asking, Kazuki hugged Hirono “Dang it…wh-what kind of Gentleman am I…? T-to make one of my best friends cry…disgraceful…I…I apologize…” Kazuki let Hirono go. “D-don’t apologize Kaz. I just feel…I’m fine now! Thank you!” Hirono smiled genuinely, despite her tears. “Y-you are welcome…” … Hirono found Kiyotaka in the library the next day, which was no surprise to her. He was readying a book called “Relationship Milestones: How Long Should You Wait?” Hirono began to think it might be good that she was about to interrupt him. Taking a more tactful route than Mondo, Hirono tapped on Kiyotaka’s book. As soon as she did, he quickly marked his page, closed and put down the book and snapped to attention. “Ah, Hirono! Nice to see you my fellow student council member. How may I help you?” “Taka, all this research is…to ask out Kazuki, right?” Kiyotaka’s expression instantly changed to panic “Wha…wha…h-how d-did-“ “I heard about it from Mondo. Listen, I think that you might want to…give up…” “Give up? Why!?” “Well…you know how rich Kazuki is, right?” “Of course. He comes from one of the richest families in Japan, the Saito family. Both of the elder Saito’s are now deceased, so Kazuki had inherited both of their fortunes. How does this relate to the topic of me giving up?” Hirono thought “Does this guy seriously research…everything?” However, she said, “I’m getting to it! Well, I heard about what you’re trying to do from Mondo two days ago, so yesterday I saw Kaz and tired to…y-you know…” “No, I don’t.” Hirono twirled her hair awkwardly “I tried to…help things along…” “H-help things…along…?” “That’s not important right now!” Hirono seemed borderline furious about that part. “So, we talked for a while, and…since he’s so rich…he…” Hirono looked obviously sad. “H-Hirono, do you-“ “No I don’t need help.” Hirono retorted “He’s only ever seen arranged marriages, Taka! He wasn’t even aware of what a boyfriend was until I told him yesterday! He’s never even…heard of a marriage for love.” “…” “Taka…the concept of love is foreign to him. It took him such a long time to understand love between friends and he’s never really experienced true familial love…I doubt that he’d understand romantic love.” Kiyotaka had his eyes closed, thinking deeply “Hmm…” “What is it?” Kiyotaka suddenly opened his eyes “I truly thank you for the information, Ma’am, but I must respectfully refuse to give up! If anything, this is only a reason to try harder!” Hirono was dumbfounded “T-Taka…” “No battle was ever won by giving up! Battles are won trough uncompromising hard work and discipline! This situation is no different…I’m sure that I can do it! I’m a hundred percent sure, in fact! I want to be the person to make him feel that way…I want to…help him understand…” Hirono sat for a moment, processing the information that she had just been given as if she was a buffering computer. When she recovered, she smiled lightly and said “Well then…you’re a lucky man, Kiyotaka Ishimaru.” Kiyotaka smiled in the same manner “Let’s hope that I am.” … The next day Kiyotaka was in the student council meeting room, pacing. He had about a thousand thoughts at once, but couldn’t pin any of them down. So, he simply continued pacing and looked at his watch. It was just about coming up to the meeting time though Kazuki always said that being on time made him five minuets late. Then, Taka heard a knock at the door. It was, of course, his invited guest. “I-I am…so very s-sorry to be late, Ishimaru-san!” Kazuki bowed, gritting his teeth in embarrassment. “That’s not a trouble at all, Kazuki! Please, sit down.” Kazuki did as he told “So, what did you…want to talk to me a-about?” “Umm…I-I…Ahem, uhh…” “Ishimaru-san, wh-whatever it is, I’m sure that it’s not as big as you’re m-making it out to be.” “Ah!” Kiyotaka’s eyes widened, but he seemed more motivated than surprised “Okay…okay, this may sound rude, but…Hirono informed me about the conversation you had with her. About…the arranged marriages and such…” “Arranged marriage…? I’ve never heard it called that, but I s-suppose that…would be accurate…A-apologies, go on.” “So…would it correct to say that…love is an alien emotion to you…?” The words felt heavy as Kiyotaka said them. Kazuki was suddenly stuck silent, but he nodded his head slowly. Kiyotaka sat in a chair directly facing Kazuki and breathed in heavily “I understand…love…romance…it’s all so…foreign to me…but…I look at you and I know that…I want to figure it out for you…with you…b-by…e-experience…” Kazuki stayed silent for a second, though ever moment seemed like an eternity to Kiyotaka. “I-Ishimaru-san, a-are you…!?” “Yes Kazuki, I am…I am asking you formally now…would you please do me the honor…of being my boyfriend?” “I…I…I…” Kazuki paused for what must have seemed like a millennia “Y-Yes…” “D-did…did you just…say yes!?” “I…th-think I did…!” Kiyotaka smiled the widest he had in ages “Th-thank you so much Kazuki! This…this is the happiest I’ve been in such a long time! I almost can’t believe that you said yes!” Kazuki smiled as well “I…r-relate. So…what kinds of things do umm…‘boyfriends’ do…?” Kiyotaka cleared his throat “Uhhh, well, according to m-my research, I’ve found some things that would…work at this stage. So, first of all, boyfriends usually sit close to each other…” Kiyotaka immediately moved his chair to be closer to Kazuki “…and, they do things like…like holding hands…!” “Holding…h-hands…?” “Yes, it’s just like-“ Kiyotaka carefully took Kazuki’s hand in his own “-this.” “Ah, I s-see. What is the p-purpose of this?” “It is to reassure your partner! To make them feel safe knowing that you’re there.” Kiyotaka looked own at their linked hands with a smile “At least…that’s what this means to me…” Kiyotaka rubbed the back of Kazuki’s hand with his thumb “D-do you…do you like this, with our hands joined?” “Y-Yeah, I think I do…my h-heart is beating irregularly fast.” “Ah, that’s normal. No need to worry, you don’t have condition! That’s what I though at first too, but apparently that’s just a common reaction when your partner is near!” Kazuki looked genuinely surprised “Interesting…” Kazuki looked in to Kiyotaka’s eyes “A-anything else?” “Well, we could also…say nice things to each other…” “Nice things…? L-like what…? Could I have an e-example?” “Yes, of course! So, for example…normally I’d say that behavior like this was against school policy, but…Kazuki…” Kiyotaka squeezed Kazuki’s hand slightly and looked into his eyes “Y-you’re…you’re worth breaking a rule for.” Kazuki blushed severely “Ah…! Th-that was…” “W-was…was that good?” Kiyotaka said hopefully. “Y-Yes…great…” “Good! I was practicing that for a while! I meant every word of it too!” “L-let me try…um…I…I’d break my Gentleman’s Pact for you…” Kiyotaka now blushed equally “K-Kazuki…!” “Did I…?” “Yes! That…felt amazing to hear!” “W-were there any other things…?” “One more. We can give each other nicknames or what are know as pet names.” “P-pet names?” “They’re little names that we call each other and only each other. Things like honey or darling. Myself, I think I’ll just stick with your name.” “Y-Yes, likewise.” “Understood! Instead of calling you Kaz like everyone else, I’ll call you Kazu…is that fine?” “Y-yes…I like it!” “Very well! What would you like to call me?” “Umm, everyone calls you Taka, so…maybe I could call you…Ishi?” “Sounds great to me!” The two of them sat together holding hands for what felt like an eternity and a single moment all at once, until the school bell rang. This was the first time that neither of them were sure if they actually wanted to go to class. Reluctantly, Kiyotaka stood and Kazuki shortly followed him. “Well, let’s go to to class Kazu!” Kiyotaka smiled at his new boyfriend “Y-Yeah…here we go Ishi.” The pair then walked out of the student council room…still holding hands.

#danganronpa imagines #submission