#<- no other fictional character has made me more upset and sad abt what happens to them i think. but also that's because i love him <33

[planetsnakes]

Hey, sorry for the ask about milo + glen if it made you uncomfortable, I was just extremely sad when they died and I miss them, though obviously it's harder for you, and so I was wondering if you could give anything else about them. Totally get that you dont want to reminisce, though, and sorry if it upset you at all. I'm glad you're happier now!

Valid but I'm a fictive, my own person not a character form a book magically come to life.

If I was I'd probably be being experemented on by the goverment.

Look, not all fictives miss their source or even care abt their source. I kinda do but I'm not her I mean i use he/him pronouns a lot of the time for starters and I like my parents. I also havent met one cursed child. I dont even remember what happens in most of the books. I dont care either.

Try fanfiction, or talking in the fandom more, or like writing your own, drawing your own fanart. Characters are free reign to do whatever you want to, once they're out there you can do whatever you want to them, headcannon that Milo & Glen & Amber all ate a massive pancake in hell. No one can stop you.

I wont bring your characters alive for you. I'm a projection of trauma in the head of a human being trying to get by. You can bring them alive though by writing your own stories, making your own headcannons, your own fanart and chatting with friends/ strangers online (not me) about it.

I read books and I miss characters too. Books way more obscure than demon road (I mean have you even heard of Have Space Suit Will Travel? No? You should read it) but I live with them by writing fanfic, drawing crappy fanart and making insane headcannons with friends who are just about done with hearing obscure topics they can't add too.

Do any of that but don't come to me (or any fictives) because I am not Amber Lamont I'm a projection of trauma onto a fictional narrative to save ourselves from dealing with the real thing. I cant speak for any other fictive out there but I'm sure their position is similar.

Also Have Space Suit Will Travel has 5 fanfics on ao3 2 are the same one is just in audio format, one is in Russan and none of them are about Mother Thing who is best character™.

Literally read that and suffer in I have no one to talk to. Or get into good omens it has a demon with a car and plants and an angel with books and at one point a sword (only in the series tho not the book) and then talk to people, I promise it'll make you sad but then you can share it.

[tequiladimples]

I hope this doesn't come off as rude, but I saw that you dislike when collision is branded het cause you're not het, but no one's talking about you personally? like for me, I really like collision but I can understand the criticism in a way and that isn't an attack on you (or an attack at all lol). again hope I'm not rude but idk it seems unnecessary to get upset, it's better to take it as constructive criticism

sigh i don't think ur rude but it simply isn't constructive.

look i’ll talk abt this one more time n then i Beg we can put it to rest! (this is gna be a lot of word vomit but if i'm elaborative now i hope i won't have to talk abt this ever again)

i’m deeply insecure abt many aspects of collision. i don’t really keep that a secret. i also know some ppl don't like fantasy, some ppl don't like the kinds of dynamics i like, some ppl don't vibe with my style of writing (hell, i barely vibe with my style of writing). those things are fine. i can't control that and i don't take that personally. the reason why this is the one critique i do take personally is because it genuinely presumes wrongful, harmful things about me and my values, especially when i've made deliberate efforts to avoid writing the exact flavor of fic they're accusing me of having written. just because people don’t mean for what they say to reflect back on me, doesn’t stop it from doing so.

the thing about calling something a “het fic” is that the term brings along certain connotations which i don’t stand by at all and feel deeply uncomfortable and distraught to possibly have created. i’ve gone over this godforsaken story again and again just to be absolutely sure i didn’t actually do so. when people say “het fic” they generally don’t mean “boy meets girl and they fall in love”, they mean “super rude and mean boy meets uptight virtuous girl and makes her fall in dependence with him through manipulation and treating her like shit until she behaves how he wants.” and that is straight up not the fic i wrote. i’m not stupid. i know the dynamic i went with is widely and easily misused and there’s a lot of fiction depicting really bad, uneven, unhealthy relationships through it. i knew this going in, and i’ve tried persistently to avoid making those same mistakes. 

skipping over the fact that they’re both boys (bc duh)--harry doesn't exhibit any real manipulative power over louis. collision harry is a grumpy, fruity little nerd who happened upon a really unfortunate lot in life and managed to trick himself into believing he's evil for like half a second of the story and his resolves crumble like a danish pastry the moment he receives his first hug. he's kind of aloof and arrogant, and understandably hardened from his past, but he's not bad. he's just lost. that's the basis of his character arc. now on the other hand, louis has harry wrapped around his finger starting like chapter 4. harry’s the one who opens up emotionally first, harry’s the one desperately seeking louis’ approval and caring about his opinion, harry’s the one who makes himself vulnerable continuously throughout the entire story. the only time louis makes himself vulnerable on a comparable scale is during the smut scenes, and even then, harry is gentle and attentive and puts louis first. louis is less experienced than harry in that area, but he isn't scared or intimidated by harry, and he has full reigns of the progression and nature of their relationship as a whole. that’s kind of how it needs to go with tough x soft dynamics for the power balance to not feel uneven, and i wrote the story accordingly. if you then happen to still be so blindly determined to associate soft/small with weakness (and thereby uh, womanhood ig) that you still felt like louis had an inferior position to harry solely because he is indeed soft/small, that sounds quite frankly like a you problem.

now, the whole point of louis’ character is that he’s underestimated. sure, he’s naive and self-centered and sheltered from the real world--that’s the basis of his character arc. those things all change. but louis isn’t ever weak. like idk who apparently needs to hear this but you can be small and simultaneously not be a pushover. the two aren’t mutually exclusive. there isn’t a single time louis takes shit in this story, especially not from harry; he gives back as good as he gets every time. oh! and then he literally saves the entire universe and the execution of that whole thing was his idea alone. i tried really hard to underline how strong-willed and full of grit he is to contrast what others think of him. if you think he’s portrayed as a meek and frail damsel, you missed the point. once again, i feel like we circle back to this misconception of louis being kind of naive and physically small = louis being inferior = louis being female. just do some soul searching.

(i could also get into the fact that for a bunch of people who don’t know these boys personally (no matter how much we like to think we do), this fandom is weirdly opinionated about characterization. especially regarding sexual stuff. i know creating a version for ourselves of who we think these boys are based on things we recognize in ourselves or things we find endearing is part of the comfort with loving them. but that doesn’t really equate to actually knowing them, and besides, this is fan fiction; no one’s opting to write a biography, anyway. being experimental and explorative and putting different aspects of their personalities in different lightings is what makes fic fun. if someone’s writing harmful or one-dimensional characters, that’s one thing, and preferences is again whatever floats your boat. but the “out of character” argument feels mostly really strange to me. this is a bit of a tangent, though.)

lastly, the thing is that i will and i do take it personally if someone insinuates that a character--a gay character--that i, a lesbian, construed is a secret vessel for expressing heterosexual attraction. if someone calls louis a “self-insert”, that does reflect back on me. and to elaborate on that--i don’t particularly love to bring it up, but it's quite disheartening to pour personal PTSD experiences into a character and rly put effort into doing it right and justice and underline growth and healing, just to find out people disregard all that completely in favor of declaring that my self-projection lies in the attraction to a man--which is to say, the one thing i couldn’t possibly feel more estranged from. it's so incredibly tactless. i feel thoroughly whiny at this point but how is that not supposed to make me a little sad?

anyway. none of this is to say that you can’t dislike or critique collision. you can. sometimes ppl don’t like things. but i hope i’m clear about where i’m coming from with my discomfort now. people’s preferences and dislikes are indeed not mine to be hurt by, but these things are. this definitely got unnecessarily long and i probably look like i take myself unbearably seriously (i promise i don’t), so i’m sorry. but at least i've said everything now, and if i encounter this sort of rhetoric in the future, i have something to redirect people to. also anon, none of this is directly pointed at you, i know you mean well. take care <3

#look away this is so long #also @ my non fic mutuals scroll past it pls #it’s not that deep i’m just tired #ask

[sparklecarehospital]

could you maybe ramble off some fun facts about the characters? i rlly love learning abt them and it calmz me down a lot 4 some reason.. if u dont have the energy its ok!!

You have NO IDEA how excited this ask makes me because I LOVE talking about everyone so here's some stuff about Uni and Barry!!! (Also don't worry about me not having energy this is like all I can talk about sometimes)!!!!!!

Barry:

Reads and writes fan fiction about Bingo Bongo Theory, has a crush on Shelldon (a tortoise) and gets mad if you call him a turtle. He actually likes writing a lot, but he's honestly TERRIBLE at it, using overly complex words and bad sentence structure. He thinks he's great and has fun though which is honestly really valid and good

His favorite flower is lavender

His favorite color is orange

Has vivid dreams, usually about situations he's in (like the hospital). He also dreams about people obsessively when he has feelings for them and it makes him really mad. He's had prophetic dreams and they make him really paranoid and it feeds into the fact he thinks he knows everything.

Actually very affectionate if you're close with him, he will give hugs to people if he trusts them but he struggles immensely with touching hands directly unless he trusts you more than anyone on the planet (so if he wants to hold hands with you he's probably deeply in love with you)

He likes 5980's music (which is 80s music on Earth) and is embarrassed about it because he feels it's not good for his Intellectual and Sophisticated Image.

He actually feels a lot of anxiety over some of his interests because he's worried about people thinking less of him.

Has a unicorn stuffed animal named Corny that he was given as a baby

Vegan!!! He doesn't like products that come from orbs.

LOVES when people actually listen to him infodump because it doesn't happen very often!!! He loves talking about science and different kinds of it, especially stuff like outer space and stars and constellations. It fascinates him endlessly and he wants to learn more about the universe

Favorite subject in school was science, still is

He doesn't like saying swear words and this means he won't call the Bitch Sea by its name. He calls it the Dog Sea instead

Uni:

His favorite colors are pink and green

Has a really specific nervous stim which is clenching his upper arm (either one, but usually the left). If he does this he's really nervous or anxious or upset, and it helps him feel better to kinda shield himself like that. (I draw him doing this a lot)

His favorite vegetable and food in general is carrots and anything of the carrot variety. But he doesn't liked canned carrots at all

Favorite flower is roses

Has an OC universe called the Glooneeverse that focuses on his OC named Gloo Mee and one named Sue Nee. Gloo is a cat who lives in a raincloud and cries constantly, and Sue is a dog that is happy and lives in a cloud house with sunshine constantly radiating from her. Gloo and Sue are OCs that Uni has had since elementary school that he used to make comic strips about. He has a lot of little comic books he's made over the years at the hospital about the two of them. He doesn't like sharing them though because he doubts his art a lot.

Always technically crying blood but when he ACTUALLY cries he gets it literally everywhere. He needs to wash things a lot because of getting blood on them (sometimes including Bearry). It's usually his pillow case or gown

He makes puppets of his friends and practices conversations with them whenever he's lonely or needs someone to talk to but doesn't wanna leave his room- which is actually most of the time, he only leaves to eat or go to club or OT. He doesn't loiter around like Carrie does because he's kinda introverted and gets anxious if he's out of his hospital room for too long.

Has really bad insomnia and sometimes passes out from lack of sleep. He takes meds for it but they don't really help. When he does sleep he usually has nightmares

He doesn't need his glasses to get around the hospital because he's memorized the layout, he only uses them when he's making art or gaming or something. He actually doesn't even know what some new patients look like outside of color because what little vision he has is blurry and dim. If he were to leave he'd be REALLY lost and need guidance by someone with good vision

Develops feelings for people really easily. If someone's nice to him he will probably get a crush on them (in the event that they are also a guy) but sometimes he just likes guys randomly. He's had a crush on most guys in the hospital at some point but most of them have faded or become less prominent/irrelevant. The feelings he gets are never very serious and he's actually never been genuinely in love with anybody before!!!!!!

Likes music that is upbeat and poppy and dancey, because it gets him inspired to make art. But he doesn't actually like to dance, just sit there and listen to the music

(almost forgot this really specific one) HAS A HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE FEAR OF ALIENS. Literally horrible. Talk of aliens or UFO sightings makes him REALLY scared, and he hates sci-fi things that have aliens in them. He actually has nightmares about aliens a lot.

HATES horror movies and anything violent, like violent video games. He struggles with playing games where you have to kill enemies because he gets super sad about hurting them. He can play Orbemon though (Spinch Pokemon)

Regarding each other:

Uni is baby spoon when they cuddle

They like looking at the stars together

Barry likes to watch Uni draw and make art

Uni encourages and tries to help Barry improve his writing even if he struggles to comprehend what it says sometimes

They sometimes listen to music together

Uni likes watching top 10 list videos and will put on sciencey ones for Barry to watch with him. Barry really enjoys that!!!

When either of them have a nightmare they go to the other's bed and talk about it and hug it out and sometimes will sleep in the others bed if they're too scared to be alone even after talking about it

They actually like being together a lot. Uni felt really lonely before Barry came, and Barry didn't have a roommate at school either. Even when they're not talking they just enjoy knowing somebody is there if they need to talk

Sorry this took so long for me to write, I'm pretty sure I spent over an hour on it and it's not even everything I could say about them!!! Sorry if this fills anyone's dash idk how to do read more on mobile

#answers #long post #very long post #fun facts #aliens #aliens // #ufos #ufos //

[butchtaurus]

When will i shut up abt this tbh? hopefully after this… god damn.

Now that it’s been days since the supergirl sdcc incident. i wanna try talk about it more comprehensively? I’m not so good with words or expressing my feelings but i feel like i need to try and understand. I’ll probably forget things i want to say lmao. It’s probably gonna be SO LONG, I’m so so so so SORRY!!!!!!

So, people are mad at Jeremy and Melissa for “making fun of a popular f/f ship.” And while on the surface it seems exactly that, it partially was. But i don’t think the words yelled at us, and it was at us because he looked directly at he camera while doing it, “THEYRE ONLY FRIENDS” was the problem. It was that a fanbase made of many young LGBT people were singled out. Now the intent on Jeremy or Melissa’s part may not have been homophobic or meant to hurt in anyway, they felt they were joking around. But they still did hurt a lot of people.

My interpretation of this “joke” felt like they were poking fun at me for believing two female friends could more than friends and that it was silly to think that. In Jeremy’s first apology he says how its valid how he interprets their story. Which is absolutely correct! He can view them as only friends, no one’s gonna make fun of that. Cause… thats canon? lmao. Part of fiction is allowing the consumer to interpret the work however they see fit because whats the fun in being told what the fiction or art means?

Maybe the cast was tired of being asked about Supercorp, but why was it brought up unprompted in this song recap like that? Jeremy could’ve sang something like ‘Kara met Lena and they became best friends!’ done, perfect, move on. Everything woulda been chill. But instead he faced the camera, which breaks him apart from the interviewers and his cast mates to talk to us the fans, and yelled to the camera.

Onto the rest of the interview because that song was not the only thing that made me disappointed and/or angry.

The interviewer asks about shipping (Kara and Lena). Jeremy chimes in and says “I feel like I’m gonna get destroyed for what I just did…. I’m sorry. I just debunked supercorp.” And Melissa says “That was pretty brave.” And I THINK, that’s where others got really mad at Melissa. I do not think Melissa was saying Jeremy was brave for “debunking supercorp” but that it was brave he just said any of that shit, because the cast has to know how insanely loud this fanbase as a whole is, usually not in a good way. (I’ve never seen it, but i just know people have to be sending death threats to multiple people in this cast, or insulting them in some way when its none of our business. Valid criticism aside.)

Then, the interviewer asks a weirdly worded question towards supercorp as a ship. “Are you caught off guard when you hear about, sort of, [what] fans are making of relationships, seeing stuff that is or isn’t there or might be there, et cetera? Like what do you make of it at this point?” Which, since listening to that fandomentals podcast, does throw me off because it puts everyone in a weird position to answer the othering(?) type question.

Now after Melissa answers the question, i have no problem with her answer there tbh, Katie chimes in with a very thoughtful response on how we can interpret art how we want. I also wanna talk about what people thought Mehcad was saying during the end of Katie’s response. I think everyone was feeling very hurt and sensitive since the song etc, so people were very analytical of everything being said. So people thought Mehcad was either saying “zitta” or “take that”, and since re-listening to the actual interview I hear “take that” as in ‘yes, take what you want from fiction’ AND NOT zitta. Take that (haha) for what you will and if you still think it was zitta I would urge you to re-listen and check after you’ve calmed down a bit? Not to be condescending to/dismissive of your feelings tho! ahhhh

After Katie has said her response. Chris says “Yeah and sexuality is all about others perceptions of yours, right? [cast laughter] Am I right?! …. That was sarcasm!” Yeah… okay. Maybe it was sarcasm, but it was a shitty thing to say at all. And also makes no sense for what they’re talking about. I mean… we’re talking about fictional character here aren’t we? So, what? why? what..?

Jeremy replies to Chris’s comment: “Hey listen, I went to musical theatre school I know all about other peoples perception of sexuality.” So… uh, we aren’t talking about fictional characters? Honestly, who cares what other people think about your sexuality? Did/do people think your gay? Why is that so bad? (Maybe I’m still a little sensitive about that part for some reason…)

Now, I think that was all from THAT interview specifically. There was definitely more ugly stuff that happened with Supergirl at comic con, at least to me. Maybe I’ll make another post because this is so fucking long, I’m so sorry…

The cast may not have meant to hurt anyone with all of this, and they definitely aren’t homophobic like how I think people mean? I really do think its in bad taste to just call them homophobic for this incident. What they did was like a micro aggression and in the grand scheme of things very little. Though large in the aftermath unfortunately. They just couldn’t understand the intracasies to LGBT fandoms or shipping, or even LGBT people, since they aren’t. Basically it was ignorance on their part. So, for me personally, I’m not gonna go all out and hate them. I do have a distrust that I can’t ignore though cause i felt made fun of. :/

To people who think “yeah well supercorps deserved it for how they treat the cast.” I can not control what other people do with their social media. I do not see whatever everyone else fucking does. I sit here in my bubble liking the things I like. I can only say that, I do not condone any ugly person that sends death threats, tells someone in the cast to kill themselves, insults the cast, or bring up personal things to be gross to the cast. I do not like that and think it’s stupid. I could only hope anyone 18 and older would know better and that anyone younger would please think of the cast as actual human beings. It doesn’t matter how much you hate any of the cast. Take your time to do anything else.

And listen, feelings are not invalid. No matter how many people think it’s an overreaction. People don’t get to tell you what you feel is stupid. You were hurt, that is the end of it. You’re allowed to be angry or upset or sad or disappointed but before you think to write something angry or rude, take a few minutes or a few hours and try understand why you’re angry and be respectful if you want to express those feelings. Cause when I look back to those words I said right after I was hurt by theirs… I know that I didn’t hurt anyone else. But, if I did? I’m sorry. D:

If you didn’t get offended or hurt? That’s great I’m really happy for you! :)

ALSO AGAIN IF YOU READ THIS WHOLE THING OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY YOU USED YOUR TIME ON MY WORDS AHHHHHHAGDHJFK

#sg mess #personal #long post #jesus this was so long #ALSO ME? INSULTING THE CAST ON MY BLOG? never done idk what ur talking about #okay maybe a little #i only reblogged chip would stuff before i just... i can't w him I'm so sorry its only a joke :(