#‘ märchenstunde ‘ - drabble.

[mcmorare]

When Katrina’s mind snaps back into focus, there’s blood all over her hands. But that isn’t the thing she’s focused on. At the moment, she couldn’t care less. The chill and the still-dying body and her stinging half-healed hands are inconsequential. What matters is the boy she’s currently scrambling back to reach. 

“Wilhelm.”  Her voice is little more than a breath, and somewhere in the back of her mind she’s sure she looks like a mess, all bloody and shaking. “Hey. Wilhelm. You’re okay. Yeah?” 

The cannon goes off. But that might be the boy she’s just finished with, right? If you take the knife out, the person actually bleeds out faster, which is why the knife is still in his head. So he doesn’t bleed out. Because he’s not going to die. It’s not fucking fair. 

And then off goes cannon number two. Wilhelm just lays there, staring up at the sky. Not the sky. The fake arena sky. He lays there and nothing happens. 

All at once she feels a deep, wrong feeling in everything around her. Sick and angry and painful. If she opens her mouth, she’s not sure if she’ll scream or vomit. Somewhere, behind the loud silence, in the back of her mind, is Johanna’s voice.

They’re watching every second. The more fucked up, the better.

And then in the place of that wrong, burning nothingness comes the immediate feeling of eyes. Like a physical presence, pressing in from all sides, hundreds of people watching. Waiting. Witnessing. And she’s torn in three directions - the part of her that wants to play for the cameras, the part of her that never wants to give them the satisfaction, and the part of her that is still stuck kneeling here staring in horror because Wilhelm is fucking dead. Dead. Nothing will bring him back. 

And without even thinking, she settles somewhere in the middle. 

Trying not to look, she pulls out the knife, wiping it on the grass before tucking it into her belt. Hands on the sides of his head, she tilts it back the way it was, like he’s laying on his back and looking up at the sky. She brings his hands up to rest over his stomach. She’s getting blood all over him, her hands are practically covered in it, but he would understand. And then, with a shaking hand, she closes his eyes. For a moment she just stares. She could just leave right now. The thought of all those people watching her do this almost makes her run off. Fucking sick pieces of shit. But if she doesn’t say goodbye now, she’ll never get to. 

Leaning forward, she presses her forehead to his, eyes closing. One last moment with the boy who seemed to be the last truly good person in the world. The one point of light in all this. There’s the metallic smell of blood, in his hair, on the ground. 

“I’m so sorry,”  she whispers, in a voice so quiet there’s a chance the Capitol hadn’t heard. Good.

Slowly, she lifts her head, leaving a kiss right above his brow before standing up. She sniffles, wipes the tears from her cheeks. Covering her face with blood in the process. Some of it’s his. And back into the woods she goes. 

#hello this is. a dark drabble but i have been thinking of thg katrina and this moment would not leave my mind #so you all get angst :) #blood tw #death tw #injury tw #‘ was sind die chancen ‘ - hunger games verse. #‘ märchenstunde ‘ - drabble. #‘ es sollte mich gewesen ‘ - wilhelm.

[fullofmemories]

Katrina’s nails dug into her palms as she stared into space, trying to think of anything else but the sight of blood pooling into red hair. The sound of gunshots. The fact that now the only friend she had here, the last link to home and any semblance of sanity, was gone.

“Hey.” Katrina snapped out of her trance to find a boy and a girl standing in the doorway. “I saw what happened to your friend. I’m sorry,” the boy said, stepping forward. 

“Thanks.” Katrina glanced at them before turning her gaze back to the wall. The sentiment was appreciated, but the reminder of what had just happened was not. 

“I’m Wilhelm.” Her brow furrowed slightly as she glanced back up at the boy, a bit surprised he was still talking. But there he stood, with a slight smile on his face. “And this is Jess,” he said, gesturing to the girl beside him. Jess didn’t speak, but gave Katrina a slight nod of acknowledgement. 

“...Katrina,” she responded. 

“So, do you have any siblings back home?” Wilhelm asked, taking a seat across from her. Jess followed. 

“A brother. Older.”

He nodded appreciatively. “I have two sisters. One younger, one older.” He paused for a moment, glancing almost expectantly at the short-haired girl next to him - but she still was silent. “Jess is an only child,” he said, filling in for her. 

“Must be nice,” Katrina responded, partially just out of politeness. 

“It’s lonely,” Jess finally said, making Katrina look over in surprise. The shorter girl didn’t shy away, holding her gaze steadily. 

“Well, hey, now you have me,” Wilhelm piped up, giving Jess a small nudge. “We have each other.” With the way that he smiled and looked over, it almost felt to Katrina as if he was including her in the sentiment. Was he?

His enthusiasm felt almost out of place here, in this dark dungeon of a building surrounded by armed guards and lab coats. But… it was welcome. And despite herself, Katrina summoned a small smile in return.

“I guess so.”

#[this is the scene where they first meet!] #[märchenstunde].drabble #[du hast uns angelogen].hydra #[es sollte mich gewesen].wilhelm #death mention tw

[mcmorare]

Katrina didn’t know what she had expected for the ride to the capitol, but the silence currently marinating between her and the other tribute could have been cut with a knife. Was this normal? Or was there usually more conversation? It’s not exactly a common situation, two people sitting there on the way to be offered up as sacrifice. 

“I’m Wilhelm.” He leans forward a bit in his seat. She had deliberately chosen to sit across from, not next to him, thinking it would make closeness less likely. But he clearly hasn’t been deterred. “I guess you knew that already though, with the name calling and everything.” A moment passes. She doesn’t respond. “We must live on opposite sides of the district, because I don’t think I’ve seen you before.” 

Why is this boy so friendly? Is it some sort of panic response? Nervous talking? 

“And now we have to kill each other.”  Blunt, but it’s something they’ll have to get used to. This is their reality now. 

“No we don’t.” 

Her brows furrow. “That’s kinda the whole point of the Games. 24 go in, one comes out. Kill or be killed.” 

“Kill or be killed. Not kill and be killed. You don’t have to do both.” 

The look she gives him is confused, if a bit judgemental. “…So, what, you’re just going to sit there and die?”

“Well, no, I’ll… I’ll try to stay alive how I can, but I don’t know if I could kill anyone.” 

More sharp words sit on the tip of her tongue, but something keeps her from saying them. It seems like he’s being honest. It would be stupid to play the coward role just a year after the previous victor did the same. Everyone would expect it. So he must have some other angle. Or maybe there’s no angle. Either way, they aren’t here to make friends. It’s better not to. 

Finally, he seems to sense that the day’s events haven’t exactly put her in the most talkative mood, and he leans back in his seat. The demoralized look that comes over his face almost makes her feel bad, but she keeps her quiet. It’ll be easier this way. 

#little drabble abt thg au katrina & wilhelm first meeting ! #‘ was sind die chancen ‘ - hunger games verse. #‘ märchenstunde ‘ - drabble. #death tw

[mcmorare]

ok this drabble has been sitting in a doc for like a year and i cannot figure out how to finish it so i am just posting it now <3 completely hypothetical scenario where katrina gets to meet an alt universe version of wilhelm where he survived instead of her

Katrina had experienced hallucinations before. She knew what they were like. Knew what to expect. But never in a million years had she expected this. 

This shouldn’t be possible. Not even with her powers. There was no way that it really was him, Wilhelm, standing before her. The same boy she had met in HYDRA so many years ago. The boy who had died right before her eyes, had never gotten to grow up into the person standing before her now. But even if it wasn’t this exact face that she had seen, it was still unmistakable. They had been through hell together, their souls knew each other too well for doubt. It was him. 

“No.” Katrina shook her head, insistent. “You’re dead. I saw you die. Right in front of me. And then I saw it over and over again, and not only could I never forget it but I kept seeing it, hearing it, over and over again and I can still feel the blood on my hands and I know that was real. I can’t see things that didn’t happen. And I keep seeing that so I know it happened. You died in that building when you were nineteen and this can’t be real. This isn’t-“ She shook her head again. “Oh, God, there must be something wrong with me,” she breathed. “What the fuck is happening-”

“Katrina.” Wilhelm placed his hands on her shoulders, gently but steadily. “I know. I know.” 

“No, you don’t. Because you’re not real. This isn’t real, this can’t be real because you’re dead and you’ve been dead for years and I think I’m losing my mind-” 

“Trina.” Her frantic denial finally quieted, his eyes staring into hers. “I know. Because in my universe, it was you.” A quiet sigh left his lips as he paused. “I couldn’t move fast enough. And I spent six months alone in there paying for it. I’ve regretted it every single day since.” His voice was even, sure. “I promise you, it’s me. Just not the version of me from this world.” 

Her lower lip trembled, disbelief still clouding her gaze. Knowledge of that event itself was some level of proof - there had never been any official record, only the memories of those who had been there - but that alone wasn’t enough. She still couldn’t let herself believe that this wasn’t just some trick or dream. 

“You’re from a tiny shit town, like me. You ran away from home when you were 16. You have an older brother. You pay attention to the Austrian Bundesliga even though no one ever does because the actual Bundesliga is more popular, your favorite team is Rapid Wien. Your favorite in the Bundesliga is Dortmund. You have scars on your hands from trying to get rid of your powers. You love being in nature. I used to call you forget-me-not because of your powers, and my favorite flower is gladiolus. I taught you how to say them in Polish. Mieczyk i Niezapominajka. Remember?” He offered a small smile. “Stupid question. You never forget.”

Katrina stayed frozen for a moment. Then, all at once she lunged forward, arms clasping around him and fingers balling into fists around the fabric of his shirt. 

“Wilhelm.” Her voice was a trembling breath. 

“Katrina.” He wrapped his arms around her, eyes closing as his head came to rest against the top of hers, memory and emotion coming rushing back at the embrace that they had gone without for so long that he had almost forgotten how it felt. “Bardzo za tobą tęskniłem.” I've missed you so much.

“You’re… are you… how?” Even as she asked, she only wrapped her arms around him tighter. Still trying to find as much proof as she could that this was real, that he was really there in front of her. 

“I… Honestly, I don’t know how to explain,” he said with a slight laugh. “A very long story that I am definitely not focused enough to tell properly at the moment.” 

But instead of a response, she just sniffled, hiding her face in his shoulder. She had never imagined that she would get to see him like this. To see him grown, aged into the man he would have been if only she would have been faster. Done more. Out of everything she had done and failed to do, his death was by far one of her biggest regrets. The knowledge of how good he was, of how much good he would have put out into the world, weighed on her since the moment his heart stopped. A good person for her. It hadn’t been a fair trade. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, voice faltering. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry, Wilhelm-” 

“For what?” He asked as if he couldn’t comprehend why she had anything to be sorry for, why she felt the need to say it at all. 

“I couldn’t save you.” It took all her willpower to keep her voice somewhat steady and keep her tears from spilling over. “It should have been me. It was my punishment to take. You never deserved it. You were supposed to live. It should have been me. I’m so sorry.” 

“No.” Sharp wasn’t the right word, he was never that aggressive, but his tone was definitely resolute. “That was not your fault. You did not do anything wrong. And I know you’re not going to believe me right now, but you have nothing to be sorry about. Nothing.” He pulled away slightly, hands planted on her shoulders as he looked her in the eyes. “Do you know how happy it makes me to know that there is a world where you survived?”

#‘ märchenstunde ‘ - drabble. #‘ es sollte mich gewesen ‘ - wilhelm. #listen every time i think abt these two i go a little bit insane #death tw

[mcmorare]

On one of many evenings which answered the question, “what happens when you leave a bunch of ultra-repressed kids of strict religious families alone,” Katrina wove through the crowd of rowdy teens, partially-drunk bottle in hand. Honestly, this probably wasn’t anywhere close to a good idea. She’d told Ariane she wasn’t going out tonight. But she didn’t fucking care. She was too angry to care.

The moment her eyes locked on him from across the room, any bit of restraint went out the window. 

“Hey, liar!” she shouted, storming up to him. The bottle was tossed aside with little care for where it landed.

As Isaak turned and looked at her, taking in her slightly intoxicated, furious state, a smile of faux sympathy crossed his face. “Oh, Katrina. Don’t tell me you’re taking the breakup this hard.” 

She had half a mind to kick his fucking head in. “Shut the fuck up. What the fuck did I ever do to you? Why have you been such an asshole about all of this?” 

“Breaking up with you doesn’t make me an asshole, babe.”

“Don’t fucking call me that!” She stepped forward, rage etched into her expression. “And I broke up with you. After what you fucking did to me. Piece of shit.” 

The most infuriating part was that self-satisfied smile that wouldn't leave his face. “It’s your word against mine. And you’re drunk. You’re not remembering right.” 

“I’m remembering perfectly fucking clearly,” she said, voice shaking with anger. “And you told everyone a lie, you fucking jackass.” Not only that, but he’d told half the truth too - the half that put her in the most danger. 

“I didn’t lie, Katrina. Not my fault you don’t want to accept what happened.” He shrugged, leaning back. “Why would I lie?” 

She could think of a few reasons, but ultimately she didn’t care. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he had fucking done it. He had done it and he had made her life hell and she wanted to return the favor.

She stepped forward and raised her fist, but before she could get a punch in, a pair of arms were wrapped around her waist, holding her back. Ariane. 

“Fucking let me punch him!” she yelled, struggling to break away - but Ariane wouldn’t let go. Isaak watched, smirking. Almost laughing. The amount of rage she felt was like her heart could burn a hole in her chest. 

For a moment he opened his mouth to speak, but Ariane quickly cut him off. “You’d better fucking watch it or I’ll let her at you and then go in for seconds myself.” She started to guide Katrina away. “You’re a pathetic waste of space shitbag and I hope you burn in the deepest pits of hell, Isaak. You’d better watch your fucking back.” 

Once they started walking away, Katrina didn’t look back. Just let Ariane’s arm around her shoulders guide her until the sounds of the chatter died out, and they were out in the trees on their own. 

“What were you doing there?” she finally asked, eyes still fixed on the ground. 

“I had a feeling you might try to do something stupid. Thought I should try and keep you from digging an even deeper hole for yourself,” Ariane said. Her tone was almost exasperated - but not quite, it was still too gentle for that. Just… tired, perhaps. She didn’t ask why Katrina had done it. Didn’t need to; she already understood. As much as it pained her to see. 

“Think you can get back in your room without too much trouble, or is it worth the shit to just say you snuck out to have a sleepover at my place?” she asked. 

Katrina shrugged. The chances of her getting away with this without her parents’ anger were slim. She was tired. And angry. And hurt. Part of her just didn’t care anymore. It was shit, it is shit, and it will continue to be shit. Maybe that was her punishment, she supposed. Penance for sins and all that. It took a moment before she noticed the tears on her cheeks. Her footsteps faltered and stopped. 

“Trina?” The moment Ariane looked back at her, her arms were wrapping around her in a hug. “I’m sorry, Trina.” 

“I can’t go back there.” Katrina’s voice was trembling and barely audible. “That house is killing me. This fucking town is killing me, Ari. I have to get out of here.” 

“I know.” It took all of Ariane’s self control not to start tearing up alongside her. “We’re going to get out of here. Just a little while longer, and then it’ll be you, me, and Vienna.” 

“I don’t know how much longer I can wait.” Katrina’s hands shook against Ariane’s back. “I can’t take it. I’m gonna fucking die here if I don’t get out soon. I can feel it. I’m going to fucking die here and then I’m gonna go to hell and then hell is just going to be me stuck in this stupid fucking town forever and it’s never going to end I’m never getting out of here-” 

“Hey. No.” Ariane pulled away slightly to look her in the eyes, her hands on Katrina’s shoulders. “You are not fucking dying here, Katrina. I’m not letting that happen.” Logically, there wasn’t much Ariane could really do - there were too many variables out of her control. But she still said the words with utter conviction. “You are going to get out of here. Okay?”

Katrina opened her mouth to speak, but all words failed her. Instead, she just nodded quietly. Hoping Ariane was right. 

“Alright. Now, you need sleep. We do have a match tomorrow, idiot,” Ariane pointed out with a small smile. 

Despite herself, Katrina smiled back. “Yeah, yeah. You know I’ll be there.” 

“You fucking better be. Come on.” 

#see this is why despite being technically younger ariane is Absolutely katrina's older sister figure #i have been slowly working on this drabble for So Long and then i debated whether or not to post it bc i don't Love the end but fuck it!!! #i am going to post it anyways it does not have to be perfect #‘ märchenstunde ‘ - drabble. #‘ der mond ist aufgegangen ‘ - childhood. #‘ ich dachte du wärst tot ‘ - ariane.

[mcmorare]

Katrina doesn’t talk about her nightmares. 

She doesn’t mention that at night, she relives the worst things she’s ever been through, each detail etched into her brain in haunting perfection. Her memory can never fade. Every sound, every sight, every touch, played back. Every emotion, perfectly preserved, bubbling back to the top. As if she was living through it again.

She doesn’t mention the awful warping that can come between them, the mixing of imagination and the past, the butchering of an already awful melody. Little bits of events, like a horror story made of cut-up newspapers, different parts stitched together in one disgusting image. The way that sometimes, she doesn’t even have to be asleep for that to happen. Or how it can follow her, how she’ll wake up and sometimes for an instant her eyes see things that aren’t there. A person in the doorway. A different bedframe. Different room. Blood on her hands. Are those her hands?

She tries not to let people see the times she wakes up panicked, so full of fear it makes her physically sick. The times she huddles in a corner, eyes wide, unable to sleep for the rest of the night because she can’t tell if the things she hears are real threats or memories. The times she wakes up terrified and disoriented, words leaving her mouth before she really thinks to stop them. Gegrüßet seist du, Maria, voll der Gnade, der Herr ist mit dir. Du bist gebenedeit unter den Frauen, und gebenedeit ist die Frucht deines Leibes… 

Fear is a weakness. Nightmares are a weakness. Weakness invites pain, she thinks. It is best to keep these things hidden.

#‘ märchenstunde ‘ - drabble. #‘ ganz interessant ‘ - headcanons. #‘ ich vergesse nie ‘ - powers. #hallucination tw

[mcmorare]

Katrina’s nails dug into her palms as she stared into space, trying to think of anything else but the sight of blood pooling into red hair. The sound of gunshots. The fact that now the only friend she had here, the last link to home and any semblance of sanity, was gone.

“Hey.” Katrina snapped out of her trance to find a boy and a girl standing in the doorway. “I saw what happened to your friend. I’m sorry,” the boy said, stepping forward. 

“Thanks.” Katrina glanced at them before turning her gaze back to the wall. The sentiment was appreciated, but the reminder of what had just happened was not. 

“I’m Wilhelm.” Her brow furrowed slightly as she glanced back up at the boy, a bit surprised he was still talking. But there he stood, with a slight smile on his face. “And this is Jess,” he said, gesturing to the girl beside him. Jess didn’t speak, but gave Katrina a slight nod of acknowledgement. 

“...Katrina,” she responded. 

“So, do you have any siblings back home?” Wilhelm asked, taking a seat across from her. Jess followed. 

“A brother. Older.”

He nodded appreciatively. “I have three sisters. two younger, one older.” He paused for a moment, glancing almost expectantly at the short-haired girl next to him - but she still was silent. “Jess is an only child,” he said, filling in for her. 

“Must be nice,” Katrina said, partially just out of politeness. 

“It’s lonely,” Jess finally said, making Katrina look over in surprise. The shorter girl didn’t shy away, holding her gaze steadily. 

“Well, hey, now you have me,” Wilhelm piped up, giving Jess a small nudge. “We have each other.” With the way that he smiled and looked over, it almost felt to Katrina as if he was including her in the sentiment. Was he?

His warmth felt almost out of place here, in this dark dungeon of a building surrounded by armed guards and lab coats. But… it was welcome. And despite herself, Katrina summoned a small smile in return.

“I guess so.”

#i have been thinking abt wilhelm again lately so i wanted to repost this #‘ märchenstunde ‘ - drabble. #‘ es sollte mich gewesen ‘ - wilhelm. #‘ du hast uns angelogen ‘ - hydra. #death tw

[mcmorare]

ACCESSING SHIELD FILE...

CLASSIFIED: LEVEL 7 REPORT FILED: Feb. 23, 2015 DETAILS: Preliminary evaluation of recently apprehended female 

On February 22, SHIELD Agents found and apprehended a female subject during a raid on a HYDRA base in Austria. How long the subject was at the base and how she got there is still unknown. She had multiple scars, many of which appear to have been inflicted and likely occurred while in HYDRA. Subject appears otherwise generally healthy with no signs of disease or severe malnutrition. She is 167.65 cm tall, weighs 128 lbs, has brown hair and brown eyes, and appears to be in her late teens or early twenties. 

Subject is enhanced, though the extent and exact nature of her powers is currently unknown. Based on what has been exhibited, she likely possesses some kind of mental manipulation. The origin of these powers is unknown at the moment, but likely has to do with HYDRA’s use of the scepter. 

Subject was defensive and mildly uncooperative during initial questioning, but does not seem to have hostile intentions. 

Subject requires further evaluation concerning enhancement, time at HYDRA, and mental state. Depending on what information she has, what her powers are and whether or not she was trained in her time in HYDRA, she may be considered useful and recommended to stay at SHIELD. 

Files concerning other individuals who may have also been subject to experimentation were also found, but were incomplete. HYDRA likely erased many records in an attempt to hide. Additionally, none of the other individuals mentioned in files were at the base during the raid. HYDRA may have moved some to other bases, but many may have died due to complications with possible experimentation or been killed. Further investigation is needed to ensure the apprehension of other enhanced individuals HYDRA may have.

#this was on my old blog and i still like it so here! #sometimes i just Think about how at this point in time katrina was only 18 and had been completely alone in hydra for 6 months before this #katrina immediately post-hydra was. not the warmest person #‘ ich vergesse nie ‘ - powers. #‘ du hast uns angelogen ‘ - hydra. #‘ märchenstunde ‘ - drabble. #death mention tw

[mcmorare]

Six months and eight days. Silent, save for the harsh voices, the sounds of metal on concrete. At home, silence had either been full of dread or relief. She’d had no idea silence could feel like this. 

27 weeks speaking to no one aside from HYDRA agents. Not even any of the other kids left. Reminders of her solitude were constant. No jokes. No comforting words. Just orders and silence. 

191 days with no music, no chatter of people passing by, no white noise. Even on sleepless nights as a child, she could listen to the wind in the trees. There were no sounds in the night here. If there were, something bad was coming. Most nights, the only sounds were either her own or tricks of her mind. 

Roughly 4,590 hours from August 15 to February 22. The beginning marked with the sound of a gunshot, the end with the opening of a door. 

Katrina never enjoyed absolute silence after that. 

#reposted from my old blog bc i've been Thinking abt this again #‘ märchenstunde ‘ - drabble. #‘ du hast uns angelogen ‘ - hydra. #‘ ganz interessant ‘ - headcanons.

[mcmorare]

tag drop 1

#‘ a rambling mess ‘ - ooc. #‘ haha… unless ‘ - wishlist. #‘ wort reist schnell ‘ - self promo. #‘ schön ‘ - visage. #‘ was willst du ‘ - ask memes. #‘ jetzt wissen sie ‘ - asks. #‘ ich will nicht darüber reden ‘ - musings. #‘ ich wünsche ‘ - wants. #‘ ganz interessant ‘ - headcanons. #‘ ich vergesse nie ‘ - powers. #‘ schauen innerhalb ‘ - meta. #‘ märchenstunde ‘ - drabble. #‘ ich sehe dich ‘ - dash commentary. #‘ will jemand reden ‘ - open. #‘ angst vor nichts ‘ - skills. #‘ der wald ist sicher ‘ - aesthetic. #‘ hören ‘ - music. #‘ was ein schickes bild ‘ - mun edits. #‘ muttersprache ‘ - german. #‘ heimat ‘ - austria. #‘ hör zu ‘ - psa.

[fullofmemories]

Katrina had never really enjoyed mothers’ day. There wasn’t much to enjoy about it when you knew your mom hated you and you hated her. As an adult, she usually just tried to ignore it. Give a polite smile when it was mentioned, nod along, try not to think about it too much. 

And then one year, a card comes in the mail. Written in colored-pencil children’s handwriting. From Evelin. 

“Because there’s no Aunts’ day, but you’re kind of like my mom too. Happy mother’s day!”

It isn’t until Katrina sets the letter down that she realizes there are tears in her eyes. 

#[just a tiny little thing bc i've had this idea in my head for a while and i :') #Soft Aunt Katrina lives in my mind rent free] #[märchenstunde].drabble #[kleiner fuchs].evelin #mothers day tw

[fullofmemories]

((oooh, number one for that drabble meme!

background character drabble prompt

Katrina crossed her arms, leaning back in her seat. At this point, she had stopped listening to whatever lecture her mother was attempting to give her. Christ, how had she expected this night to go any differently? As if she would have actually changed; somehow grown a conscience in the five or so years she’d been gone. As if that was possible.

“You know, I’m strong. I’ve realized that. I’m a strong person. And you’re so fucking jealous,” she said, turning to Elizabeth with narrowed eyes and a jaded smile. “You’re so fucking jealous of your own daughter. That you sat back and took shit your whole life and I actually did something about it. You never had the guts as a kid to fight like I did, and you’ve never been able to handle it.”

Her mother scoffed, shaking her head. “Disrespectful is more like it. Thank the lord your father isn’t here to hear this.” Katrina rolled her eyes. “We tried to give you a good life and raise you well. And what did you repay us with? Rebellion. Insolence. You were a brat.”

“Oh yeah, it was really fucking good. Fear-mongering a little kid until she cries? Making her run away from home? Real fucking nice of you. Good parenting,” Katrina retorted.

“We didn’t make you do anything! It was your decision to run away. We wanted to help you get back on track and you were the one who took it as a threat!” Her mother’s voice rose slightly. “We only ever wanted the best for you.”

Katrina laughed incredulously. “That’s your best excuse? The fucking ‘best life,’ where my parents consent to traumatize me into being a different person? You're fucking disgusting.”

“Not a different person, your true self! We wanted to help you improve!” she insisted.

“Sure, because I needed to improve. Because I was never enough for you, was I?” Katrina was nearly yelling at this point. “I wished every single damn day I lived in that house that I could get away from you. I jumped at the first opportunity and I still wish I had done it sooner!”

“Maybe you should have! If it was up to me, we would have parted ways long before then! I wouldn't have had you in the first place, if I knew what would happen when I did!” Elizabeth shouted.

This time Katrina fell silent for a moment. And another moment. Before letting out a short, breathy laugh and raising her eyebrows. “Wow.” Her voice was softer. She stood, pushing away from the table. “Always kinda knew it, but I never thought you’d actually say it.” She paused for a moment, looking at her mother. “You’re the disgrace. Not me. You always fucking have been.” Without another word she walked down the hall, to the nearest empty room and slammed the door behind her.

#[hOOOH ANGST TIME HDSKJFHKDSJ] #[also this is post-iw and her dad got snapped so that's why he's not there fhdskjfhksj] #[jetzt wissen sie].asks #[märchenstunde].drabble #[gottlos].parents #abuse tw #long post

[fullofmemories]

Katrina clenched her jaw at the next wave of pain, taking a sharp breath. Tears were involuntary at this point, but she didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of a scream. 

“This can end at any time.” A HYDRA agent paced in circles around her, his gaze cold and scrutinizing. “Just use your powers.”

“I told you. I can’t control them.” Katrina glared up at him. That wasn’t a lie - not that she would have given in if she could have done anything. 

“Then try harder,” he growled. 

“It won’t do anything,” she said insistently. If she was in his position she might not have believed herself either, but that didn’t make her any less frustrated that he was dragging this on. “I’m not lying.”

The man sighed in frustration, brow furrowing slightly. “Well then-” His hand went to the holster on his belt. “-maybe you just need the right motivation.” In a heartbeat she was staring down the barrel of a pistol. Safety off. She clenched her fists, but didn’t move. 

“No one is here to save you this time,” the man said, both a warning and a taunt. 

Do it, Katrina wanted to say. This would all fucking end. Finally.

“Only you and us.” His finger rested on the trigger. “Your little friends were too soft anyways. They would have been a waste.” 

You keep any mention of them out of your fucking mouth. Her nails started to dig into her palms. Even if he was trying to get a rise out of her, that didn’t stop the spark of anger from rising in her chest. He didn’t deserve to speak of them, to use them in any way even after death, not after what had happened-

“What are you waiting for?” She finally muttered. If it was a mistake… oh well. At this point, death didn’t seem like much of a punishment. 

But at the last moment he aimed slightly to the side. She could feel the force of the bullet as it blew past her head and lodged itself in the floor. 

“You’re lucky you’re so valuable.” He placed the gun back in its holster, stepping back. “If I had it my way, you wouldn't have made it this far. But, you have been given a gift that we cannot waste.” Her breath hitched as he aimed a kick for her stomach, leaning down next to her as she coughed. “And if you will not give it to us, you will be dealt with. Just as your friends were. Michel. Thea. Jess. Wilhelm.”

Her breath hitched and quickened with anger. “Shut up.”

“You thought we didn’t know about all your little plans to escape? Why do you think they all coincidentally fell through before going anywhere?” He leaned in closer. “More enhanced individuals are good. And two of the opposite sexes can reproduce. You were more valuable as a set. So do you know why we had to kill one?” 

Katrina glared straight back into his eyes, rage beginning to boil in her chest. 

“You gave each other hope. And when you have hope, you will rebel,” he said disdainfully. “The only way you are valuable to us is if you comply. And so we had to kill that hope.” She could nearly feel his breath. She wanted to kick, punch, scramble away, but she stayed restrained in place. Her heart pounded.

“You can help us with your gift. We could do incredible things. But if you don’t… all of your pain, all of their deaths… you… will be nothing.”

Suddenly she could hear her mother’s voice in her ears echoing - You will never be anything - she couldn’t tell whether or not it was just in her head. Whether it was like the sounds she heard alone at night.

“So comply. Or we will make you.”

She could hear HYDRA, the gunshot, the priest, the screams, her mother, broken glass-

A deep scream tore from her throat. She could feel her rage, her grief, her pain scorching through her, red, orange, yellow, white-hot, like a wildfire. She didn’t dare to look up; didn’t think to. Just curled in on herself, her voice breaking as tears streamed down her face. Her emotions felt as palpable as lightning.

As she finally opened her eyes she saw no one standing before her. But that glow, that usually stayed in her hands, had wound up and around her arms and past her sleeves. It was only then, as she started to calm, that it trickled back down. Her chest heaved, and she wiped her eyes. A headache was starting to set in. Shakily rising to a stand, she glanced around. It was only then that she looked down to see the man who had just been standing before her, so threatening, on the floor. But she hadn’t touched him. She stumbled back slightly, eyes glued on his body. Was he breathing? It didn’t look like it.

She didn’t yet understand how she had done it. But that was the first kill that was truly her own.

#[hoooh idk how happy i am with this but i spent time on it so here #i've been meaning to finish up and post this scene for a while fhdskjhfkj] #[märchenstunde].drabble #[du hast uns angelogen].hydra #[ich vergesse nie].powers #[es sollte mich gewesen].wilhelm #torture tw #gun tw #suicide ideation tw #death tw #long post

[fullofmemories]

Six months and eight days. Silent, save for the harsh voices, the sounds of metal on concrete. At home, silence had either been full of dread or relief. She’d had no idea silence could feel like this. 

27 weeks speaking to no one aside from HYDRA agents. Not even any of the other kids left. Reminders of her solitude were constant. No jokes. No comforting words. Just orders and silence. 

191 days with no music, no chatter of people passing by, no white noise. Even on sleepless nights as a child, she could listen to the wind in the trees. There were no sounds in the night here. If there were, something bad was coming. Most nights, the only sounds were either her own or tricks of her mind. 

Roughly 4,590 hours from August 15 to February 22. The beginning marked with the sound of a gunshot, the end with the opening of a door. 

Katrina never enjoyed absolute silence after that.

#[märchenstunde].drabble #[interessant].headcanon #[du hast uns angelogen].hydra

[fullofmemories]

01:  A memory from your character's childhood

04:  A memory that your character cherishes

07:  Something that makes your character happy

17:  What kind of books your character reads

character development questions

[ok i'm gonna do the last two at the bottom bc they're a bit longer

07:  Something that makes your character happy Her friends! As much as she might be hesitant to admit it sometimes, she does like having her friends around even if they're not doing much of anything.

17:  What kind of books your character reads She's never been a super avid reader, but she likes poetry!

01:  A memory from your character's childhood “Schwesterchen, komm tanz mit mir, beide Hände reich ich dir. Einmal hin, einmal her, rundherum das ist nicht schwer.” Katrina laughed as she spun in a circle, Julien catching her hands as she slowed. “Mit den Händen klapp, klapp, klapp, mit den Füßen trapp trapp trapp.” The two clapped and stomped along to the little rhyme that they both knew by heart. “Einmal hin, einmal her, rundherum das ist nicht schwer.” As they continued the rhyme the two of them spun and nodded and tapped in perfect sync. The last spin sent Katrina stumbling into her brother, both of them crashing to the floor with loud, blissfully childish laughter.

04:  A memory that your character cherishes Katrina smiled over at the scene in the living room. Ariane, Reina, Julien, and Evelin, all laughing and talking. She paused for a moment. This is my family, she thought. It’s a bit strange Her eyes caught on Julien’s wedding ring. Alina was gone. As well as both of Reina’s sisters and Ariane’s mother. And there are a few pieces missing Evelin excitedly showed Reina the picture she had been drawing at the coffee table while Ariane and Julien burst into laughter over some joke. But it is happy Katrina felt a sense of peace and warmth wash over her as she took in the sweet domestic scene. And it is safe “Hey, Trina! Come back here and help me settle this argument!” Ariane turned to her, grinning. Katrina walked over and sat back down on the floor next to Evelin. “Always so impatient, Ari.” She teased, shaking her head with mock scorn. And it is mine.

#[jetzt wissen sie].asks #[interessant].headcanons #[der mond ist aufgegangen].childhood #[also!! the last one takes place in the five years between the snap so that's why those people are gone] #[brüderlein komm tanz mit mir].julien #[ich dachte du wärst tot].ariane #[besser als die meisten].reina #[kleiner fuchs].evelin #[märchenstunde].drabble

[fullofmemories]

💭

Send 💭 for a drabble where my muse reveals something about either their past or some of their secrets.

Katrina sat down in the clearing, pocketing her gloves and placing a palm to the grass.

“Hey.” She didn’t know why she came here to talk. She just did. Ghosts weren’t something she believed in - not that she would have been surprised if they turned out to be real. If they were, well… there must have been 15 ghosts in this clearing. There were 15 bodies in the ground, at least.

“Sorry it seems like I come here in a bad mood so often. Just… it’s easier. To talk. You would understand. And, you all can’t hurt me any more than you already have.” She smiled at her own dark humor for a moment before her smile fell once more. “Sorry. Bad joke.” One hand absentmindedly fidgeted with the small stalks of grass. It was quiet here. Peaceful, even. She thought they would have liked it. Not a proper burial, sure, but it was at least a nice spot. Though, the knowledge of the bodies and what had happened in the abandoned building just a small ways’ away likely would have taken away the charm for most people.

“I remember how much we all wanted to escape. None of us wanted any of that to happen. Of course not. But… I… I don’t know.” She shook her head, trying to find the words. “I don’t know if I would take it back. I mean, sure, I absolutely hated it. You all know what happened in there. It’s in my mind forever. Nearly every second of it. In perfect, glaring clarity.” She bit her lip. “I only got there because I needed to escape. I didn’t know what the hell I was signing up for. But I had to get away from home. My options were a rock or a hard place. I don’t know what else I would have done. I couldn’t stay. My parents were going to send me somewhere else. I had to run, and it looked like an open door.” Her fingertips grazed a small white flower poking out of the ground. “Trade in one kind of torture for another.” She supposed one was easier to treat. More common, unfortunately. Still, she hadn’t wanted to go through that either. But looking back, if she had to choose one of two evils, even if one was objectively worse, she didn’t know which poison she would choose. She definitely wouldn't have ended up here. So many things in her life only existed because of what had happened. If she had taken the other route… she had no idea where she would be. Would she be happier? Maybe. Less traumatized, for sure. But she had already been traumatized before any of this.

“I don’t even know why I’m comparing them. It’s useless. I’ll never know for sure, and it’s an awful and stupid arguement to have.” She shook her head. “It’s just been on my mind. Don’t know why.” She looked down at the ground, brushing a hand across it. “Guess the afterlife must suck if you have to deal with my periodic whining.” Another bad joke. “Sorry. But really. Thanks.” She stood, brushing her hands off on her jeans before slipping her gloves back on. “Promise I won’t just complain next time.” There was never any answer. She didn’t need one. That wasn’t why she came. But she never quite knew how to leave. What to say. What do you say to the people you watched die? A simple goodbye didn’t feel like enough, but she didn’t know what else to say.

“Tschüss.” With one last look, she headed back home.

#[jetzt wissen sie].asks #[gottlos].parents #[du hast uns angelogen].hydra #[märchenstunde].drabble #death tw #trauma tw #long post #[HOOOOH I GOT VERY INTO THIS FHKJDSHFKJSDK]