#'yknow what it's really discouraging and i'm not sure if i want to put up with all of this' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mygnolia · 2 years

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hello ren! i saw your post esrlier and i just wanted to say that you're not 'conceited' to feel that way :( i know the mentality about accomplishing high number of notes may not seem like the best one to have, hell it even makes people feel like a narcissist when you think about it :(

but personally? i think it's normal to feel that way. i think the feeling of not having enough happens to even the best of us — and that's okay! you are not a narcissist for feeling these things, it's perfectly normal!

i know sometimes you just can't help but feel that way, you know? it feels as if the amount of notes count as validation that your works are good and worth-reading. and at certain times and when you see the difference between you and other writers, you feel like you're not doing enough.

although i don't think it's about you not being enough (bcuz your works are literally so??? fine??? WHY CAN'T I SPAM MY FAVORITE POST WITH LOVE?? TUMBLR HUH), there are many other factors like exposure and different interests in fandoms or types of works (hcs, series, smaus, etc) because ain't no way people aren't reading your works because it's bad quality or smth?? LIARS ALL OF YOU 🤥 so i don't think the inadequacy is within you, i just think all readers have different types of preferences BUT that doesn't change that i've been following you for a while and i think it'll stay that way forever :D

but all i wanna say is that please don't let these things discourage you! and also that the way you feel is normal and valid, you are a human being just like the rest of us and we have times where we feel low :( but just know for those who have read your works and left a note, your works are THE ABSOLUTE WORLD for us. even though we may not seem many in your eyes BUT MAN I LOVE IT WHEN YOU POST!!

i am one but many, i can only count as one note/few notes but your works really do mean the world to me... and i feel a bit sad that you are feeling this way. like you're not doing enough... but for me, i think you are. you are doing enough.

maybe it'll take a little bit more time until you finally feel at peace with where you're standing and until that happens, take your time. write for you, write so you feel happy rambling about it, write so you can scream about it with your friends/mooties, write for your happiness. i don't want you to write for your readers — but instead, write for yourself and you feel willing to share it with us! i think that's how writers work; they write for themselves and they share this idea with other people who might or might not like it! and that's ok, we can't please everyone but still it means that there are people who love your works, right? how about we focus on them then! i hope that makes sense :(

don't let mere notes define why you're here, you have readers and even moots who are willing to support you at the drop of a pin! and i know there's not that many of us, but you sure are everything to us ❤️

- weird sappy anon who loves you (really sry for rambling but i just want you to know... you don't have to answer this ask! as long as you read it, then i'm happy :D /gen)

ARGH im going to tear up :( i will answer the rest of this under a read more so it's not too long and personal

HONESTLY it sucks to sit here and look at how well a post is doing bc sometimes yknow i just wanna see if ppl like it or if they want more and stuff so yeah it does make me feel bad or conceited in a way when i look at it

i do wanna try and get rid of it and whether it means being more content with what im putting out to be able to not pay attention to notes, or just not getting affected by it, i just wanna get a better mentality and i never rlly equated it to 'being enough' so that opened a window for me

yeah u basically said it- notes do feel like validation and when i see ppl get hundreds of notes i wonder what i do wrong a LOT urgh :(

also bls im SHY im glad u like my writing AHH yeah i understand that more popular fandoms or members will get more notes or people who have been here longer might do better

and readers have different preferences too! I understand that as i myself enjoy longfics and on enhablr those can be a bit hard to come across

honestly looking at reblogs or comments where people say even little things like "I loved this" or "this was rlly nice to read" or things about the characters GAHH it rlly makes me happy yknow- and u mean the absolute world to me too anonnie :(( you enjoying what i put out and sending me this ask just rlly made my day argh i need tissues BYE

#dove letters #birdies #woodpeckers #fighting demons #this ask made me want to cry ngl #like in a good way #to my followers i appreciate all of u sososoosos much #and for ppl who leave comments and notes they make me rlly happy #and im happy you're all here to support me as i work towards being a better writer!!#mwah #ARGH #ALSO UR NOT WEIRD OR SAPPY I RLLY NEEDED THIS #AND I LOVE YOU TOO!!!

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jooheongif · 6 years

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it's theory anon,hi!!how are YOU?i'm really good rn thanks:)) thank you for your kindness again,i'm really happy i could somehow help to help you feel even a tiny bit better and hope you're doing well now,too(and it's ok to not rest on your day off but it's also ok to do so if that's what you feel is right for you atm!).about the mf(ilm), i thought the same thing, it felt like a parallel universe type of story!i also really love plotlines about friendship, (again cont.i'll try to be briefer!)

(i’m so sorry i wrote a rly long reply so i’m gonna put this under read more !!)

2. friendship is beautiful and i feel oftentimes underappreciated(but not mx!there they go again being amazing) so i love the concept. personally i like not knowing what exactly the producers were thinking because having my own interpretation of something and seeing other ppl have their own fills me with wonder,like,that's art!so many people think so many different things and no one's wrong i love it!!your thoughts about them appreciating everything they've done so far,you're absolutely right(cont) 3. i hope they are able to bc everything's so hectic for the.i get lost just looking at their official schedule,i don't know how they do it but i also hope they are aware of all these things bc those are all mindblowingly huge accomplishments in my opinion and i just want them to feel like their hard work is worth it,yknow?(is this comprehensible?)and i know they feel pressure because as you said the business is nasty but yea i hope at the end of the day they can feel like (cont.???again 4. everything they've put so much of themselves into is worth it,i love their energy and fierce determination and i just don't want them to lose it but maybe as you said feel less pressured..but then the only way would realistically be to make sure they get awarded in the Real World so we're all doing our best in the system&hating it as you said:/ they just mean so much to so many people i want them to feel that too!i try to contain myself but here i go again! sorry it's so long AND i have more(con 5. also!thank you for your big reply and sharing your thoughts i mostly just agreed with (but you're right so what else can i do),i don't have mbb friends to vent to and fanperson(is there a gender neutral term for fanboy/fangirl?) over mx with and this is really nice and fulfilling(again,if i'm boring you,you can just delete the messages and not reply!) so THANKS!it's great to strive to be a better person but i feel like one(you) should also acknowledge the good things they're already doing(cont?) 6. you showed such pure kindness and really melted someone's(my) heart and that's a Big Deal!djkghddgwe can agree that we both inspired each other :') also please i feel like you're such a wonderful soul and you really deserve every bit of gratitude and appreciation i managed to express(i feel a lot moreprobably) so!yeah!reminder that you're lovely and deserve to be appreciated and i'm also very,very happy you're here!you made my day brighter for the 2nd time now wow!thanks! i hope you and(cont.:() 7. your gorgeous heart are taking good care and enjoying your day/night! and this cb!i really like it i haven't had time to listen to the entire album but jealousy!is a bop honestly it's my type of jam and the choreo is stunning and so are their voices!iwas so skeptical about the lyrics(they could've been like hero or stuck and those made me a bit >:/ honestly) but i really should've known they wouldn't fail me in any way ever!i can't wait to hear the rest of the songs i hope you enjoy them too!bye

hi theory anon, it's nice to hear from u again ! firstly, i am so sorry for the slow reply to this ! but im rly glad to know that u are doing good :-) i'm doing ok too thank u !! how are u ? kfjjfdsjfdf sorry that u had to read my tags but thank u for saying that !! i just feel so guilty when i do nothing bc im absolutely terrified of time passing too quickly ? just the thought of letting a few minutes go to waste is overwhelming ? even though i know it's not rational to think like this but ??? theres just this constant feeling that im running out of time so i try to get rid of it by always doing smth ?? and feel bad when i dont ? idk ?? but anyway im working on it and ill be ok ! sorry..not to be dramatic and tmi and all that kjdfdj istg this blog gives me too much freedom to say...too much :( (hope the internet folks that collect metadata never read the garbage i write bc..yikes they aren't gonna hav the best time) anyway..yea. what a paragraph to start off this reply :( sorry for the honesty and saying so much all the time btw :( not that being honest is necessarily a bad thing but ! idk every time i write smth i suddenly feel extra self conscious and feel like deleting it bc im rly embarrassed and always end up having big regret later when i reread anything ive typed up !! but i just keep writing them anyway bc...idk ?? i'd rly hate it if someone got discouraged from sharing their thoughts/worries/feelings which i think is a rly important human thing :( so yea im rly embarrassed w anything i write but i'll keep doing it anyway bc i'm all for that kind of stuff and sometimes i know its not easy and it takes someone a lot to share that and its a good thing and i dont ever want anyone to feel discouraged from doing that ! anyway i just felt like i rly needed to say all of this..but pls dont feel obliged to reply to this mess !! anyway back to mx ! you are right :( i also hope mx feel like what they've done is worth smth w/e their definition or standard of that is :( like.. all of the hard work they've put into being mx it certainly means so much to fans but i hope all the hard work they've put into being mx also means smth to them at the end of the day and they are happy w what they're doing and what they've achieved so far :( and yes we'd love mx to always be rewarded in the real world :( though we love them and we want to get them a win, i know that everyone has their commitments, means and different circumstances and we can only do so much :( but even if u think its just a small contribution, everything adds up and counts and i know that all mbb hav contributed in some way in helping them get another win for this cb ! there are some mbb who can't buy albums or streaming passes and things and i hope they don't feel bad for this :( even if all you can do is watch the mv once or twice, even if you could only vote, i hope you know that it all counts and matters !! abt mx's schedule, i get tired just by looking at their weekly one idk how they can even put up w it all ?? after this they'll hav their japanese album and things and then they'll have their concerts and on top of all that apparently [some of them are also studying] ????? they are so hardworking :( HOW do they do it !! just..thinking abt their schedule is overwhelming !!! also pls dont think that you're boring me or anything like that :( im so thankful for any msg i receive and the fact that u actually took the time to type out smth to send to me ?? im so grateful ?? u are never boring !! honestly even if u sent me a stainless steel dishwasher manual w the page length of like..23 bibles, i'd still love u for it and i'd prob read all of it :( btw thank u sm for saying all those kind things !!! receiving kindness for the 3rd time is rly !!!!!!! and once again i've done nothing to deserve it :( i dont even know what i can say to you that will ever be enough to thank u again or to top what u hav already said ! if there was like a...maslows hierarchy of kindness of smth, ur at the very top of that triangle and anything i say will never be as kind as what you have said !! for you, i can agree that we both inspired each other :-) but really thank u so much from the bottom of my heart :( i hope you know how kind and lovely u are too ! if nobody told u this today, i wanted to say that im rly grateful to know u and i'm happy that you're here !! thank u again for being so kind and thoughtful and for making me smile !! :( same, i havent properly listened to the whole album either bc ive just been letting it stream in the background (but i dont count that as a proper listen unless i listen w headphones tbh) ill give it a good listen one day ! also im a repeat 1 kind of garbage person until i feel the need to listen to a new song ?? and rn jealousy to me is a song that gets better w every listen ??? shes too powerful atm :( one day ill listen to another song but today is not that day ! Actually.....I think jealousy is my fav mx song ???? before this cb i didnt hav a fav bc i couldnt pick the song i liked most out of blue moon/blind/fighter/incomparable. i was just gonna base it off the one w the most play count out of those 4 but now i know its jealousy ! what are ur fav mx songs ?? btw i know im always saying that anything mx releases is always a masterpiece no matter what, but in all seriousness its ok if u didn't like smth they released. i don't think it makes u any less of a mbb if u didn't enjoy a certain release or if u only liked one aspect of a thing but not so much the rest of the thing. anyway not to sound so...stale and commonplace but for lack of a better word/sentence, at the end of the day your own reactions and feelings to a piece of art like music...it's all just subjective isnt it ?? not liking that thing doesnt mean that its not a masterpiece or its any less of a masterpiece to someone else either so !! it's ok !! anyway this is rly....ive written a lot and its all over the place and incoherent probably :( i'm sorry !! feel free to reply whenever u feel like it, or no pressure on never replying at all btw ! also feel free to disagree w anything i say ! thank u sm for talking to me abt mx bc ive also got no mbb friends so !!! thank you :( theres so many times where i rly want to start a conversation w someone but im too scared and also i've got no clue abt how to initiate conversation ! and the times when i do manage to...i get stuck on how to keep the conversation going ? but when i figure smth out then im coming for u @ friendship !! i hope u had a good weekend and that you got some rest and that ur doing ok wherever u are !! until next time, take care ❤️❤️❤️

#how did i..even end up writing so much im so sorry :-(#and sorry that this is all over the place !!#i hope i didn't go on too much of a tangent :(#ask #theory anon #Anonymous

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