#(+not helping now ‘Unhappy Campers’ was such a mess in of itself but I ain’t gonna go there rn lol >>)

[helluvapurf]

Out of curiosity, what are your Top 10 Fave HB ships overall?❤️‍🔥

My "overall" top 10 faves? ...Hmmmmm-

Honestly a lil tricky 'cause alot of my main HB ships rn aren't exactly "canon" (save for like, one or two lol), and I do like to multi-ship alot as well depending on my mood. Sooo if I had to name just the top ships currently in my head rn (even if its not a full 10 list), here ya go!

Fizz x Ozzie Beautifully lustful bfs not afraid to be doofuses together whilst always lifting the other up when they're down... honestly, what more can one ask for in a Hell-ranked power couple?~ 💞🔥 If they ever made a spin-off for Fizzarolli, I’d SO be down for that if it means more Fizzmodeus duets~ 😍

Blitz x Fizz -Biiiit of a controversial one I know, since ofc Fizzarolli is in a relationship rn/Blitz having his own issues wouldn't spell too much success for a romance atm... but like, ughhh I can't help it they're SO good, man T-T 💕 Like, two torn-apart childhood friends who grow up into a petty rivalry, sassing eachother out whilst learning to work together in danger, hashing out their feelings enough to forgive (whilst taking it slow friendship-wise) BUT also having Blitz stand his ground to protect Fizz at the Mammon event?

...Honestly, if it weren't for Fizzmodeus (+Stol*itz) existing, these two would THE perfect endgame, fr~ 👏👏

Loona x Bee "Peppy x Moody" aesthetics are always a huge soft spot for me in ships, so I couldn't help getting drawn to these gals maybe being more than just "pals" lol ;p

Esp with the potential of Bee not being afraid to call out Loona on her crap (unlike most others who deal with her lol), Loona lowkey finding Bee attractive & super cool (despite still being a lil jealous over her Tex crush), and knowing how intuitive Bee is as a whole... I feel like she'd be the best influence to soften up Loona to get her to express herself & have fun~💖

Bee x Tex Prob my fave (canon) hetero pair atm, I think these two are pretty lovely on their own accord too~ :3 Surprisingly subtle with their affections compared to other couples... but you can still tell how much they fit well given their laidback natures, abilities to "read" people (like Blitz when he got too drunk), and just overall care for eachother in that bit after Bee shrank down to size. Really curious of how they got together ngl (esp given how Hellhounds are pretty low in the hierarchy system as-is), I think it'd be pretty fun to read about~ 🥰

Blitz x Striker Ahhh yes, def a classic in terms of the alternate Blitz ships out there (though I guess not as popular these days, given Striker's current writing .w.; ). From how much they oozed chemistry from their first meeting, Blitz's respect for Striker's skill almost giving them good coworker potential, their similar insecurities/frustrations with Hell's hierarchy system (even with Striker going a more "corrupt" route with it in later appearances... the fact that even he declares that Blitz deserved "better" than how Stolas' treats of him speaks volumes ngl-). Like, there's SO much potential imho; whether its a slowburn-redemption pair, an "flirting-on-opposing sides" pair, a "come to the dark side- we have cookies~" pair... the possibilities are endless~ 👀❤️

Blitz x Mrs. Mayberry

-Ok, now this one's proooobably the least popular overall of the Blitz ships out there... but idk, just thought it'd be a cute idea the more I thought about it lol .3.

Blitz may be a goofy lil jerk, but he's clearly a devoted family man at heart whenever you see him with his loved ones (Loona, Fizz, occasionally M&M, etc.). And with Mayberry having that strong desire for a family (despite how she was cheated/unfairly-bashed on after her death), I feel like she'd lowkey be a sweet influence to balance Blitz's chaotic nature (whilst he'd be able to make her laugh/bring "excitement" to her current life in Hell). Idk, just something light & cute like that, yknow? :3 💜

#helluva boss #(as you can see Blitz is such a shippable lil turd I can't help it xD) #(I *do* still enjoy M&M btw- they’re just not so big an OTP these days due to their stagnant writing atm (esp for poor Millie :c)) #(+not helping now ‘Unhappy Campers’ was such a mess in of itself but I ain’t gonna go there rn lol >>) #(also caught a bit of interest in some pairs like Verosika/Sallie & Mammon/Stella the more I saw fanart of 'em .3.) #(if we could count OC ships I've got one for Via I've been meaning to work on more though I keep getting sidetracked T-T)

[mowulf]

You Gotta be Kitten Me

CH 1: And now for something completely different

Summary: Medic never really liked cats. He had never hated them, per se, but being a bird parent did not lend a favorable view to the furry beasts. So how on Earth did he find himself trying to take care of 7?

Medic woke up struggling to breathe and a deep pressure on his chest. He took several deep breaths as he tried to push past the morning brain fog and flopped his arm in an attempt to wake Heavy. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d woken up half trapped beneath the large man. When he only found empty bed, his eyes snapped open and he looked down at his chest.

An absolutely massive cat was sprawled across his chest, thick fur only adding to the weight. The cat’s chin draped over his shoulder, breathing slow and easy. Medic stared in confusion. How did a cat get into his room? He always made sure to close the door securely to make sure nothing would try to get in to harass his birds (or worse, allow them unsupervised access to the base). Then again, the bed was empty. Perhaps Heavy had gotten up and accidentally not closed the door all the way?

…

“Scheiße!” There was a loud yowl as the cat was flung to the floor in Medic’s haste to get up. The cat barely managed to avoid getting stepped on as Madic jumped out of bed and started frantically searching the room. “Archimedes!” There was an angry squawk and he followed the sound to find Archimedes fluffing unhappily on top of the bookcase furthest from the bed. With a sigh, he relaxed and then did another, more thorough search of the room to take a headcount of his birds.

Once everyone was accounted for, Medic turned to the large cat now lounging on the bed watching him. For a brief moment the cat look excited, standing up and raising its tail once it had Medic’s attention. The excitement was short-lived as Medic grabbed the cat by the scruff of the neck, threw open the door, and threw it out, yelling, “OUT! OUT! AND DON’T COME BACK!”

The door slammed shut behind him and he huffed angrily. He was going to have words with Heavy for this. First things first, clothes. He dressed angrily, though as time passed and the initial shock wore off, he found himself calming down. Mistakes happened, and his doves were fine. Startled from his yelling earlier, but otherwise fine. By the time he was pulling his boots on he had calmed down to the point where he no longer felt the need to chew anyone out.

All that went out the window when Medic opened the door to find the cat sitting just a few feet away. It had waited?! It knew he kept birds and was just waiting for the opportunity! How dare!

Medic stomped his foot and the cat jumped and cowered. It managed a small chirp before Medic bellowed, “WHAT DID I TELL YOU?” as he stomped forward. With a yowl, the cat bolted down the hall and disappeared around the corner. Great. Now he was going to have to do a full check of the base to not only chase that cat out, but also make sure no other vermin had gotten into the base.

But that was a problem for later. He ran a hand down his face and took a deep breath. It was too early to be getting this worked up. He exhaled slowly before making his way to the cafeteria. Maybe he could recruit Scout to help him. The kid had always been good with animals.

Medic was pulled from his thoughts as he approached the cafeteria by the eerie silence. Normally the cafeteria would have been booming with the chaos that came from 9 wildly different personalities trying to talk over each other. Soldier and Scout were always the two loudest, either arguing or each yelling over the other in an attempt to hold their own conversations. But now an unsettling silence leaked through the doors. He paused but then threw the doors open and strode in, shoulders back and chest out.

Silence.

Medic blinked in surprise when he saw that Engineer was the only other occupant. Seated at a table with a newspaper and a cup of coffee, the man looked up and gave a casual wave. “There’s eggs and bacon in the kitchen and a pot of coffee if you want. Still fresh.”

Medic gave him a confused look. “Where is everyone else? Did they eat already?” Surely he hadn’t slept in that late.

“No idea.” Engineer folded the newspaper and set it aside. “Ain’t seen a sign of anyone since I got up. Slept in because Soldier wasn’t doing his rounds, but not by much.”

Oh, now that was concerning. The only time Soldier didn’t do his morning round to wake everyone up was the time Medic had strapped him to the table overnight and pumped him so full of anesthetic he couldn’t have walked anywhere anyway. Not even death itself would be able to stop that man from yelling at everyone at 5 in the morning.

“Have you checked on anyone?” Medic asked as he slid into the seat opposite Engineer.

“Nope,” was the casual reply, with a popped ‘p’. “None of my business if everyone wants to sleep in.”

“Mmm.” He had a point, it really was none of their business, but Medic was still concerned. “I’m worried something may be going around. Everyone was complaining about not feeling good last night.”

“Everyone but us, you mean.”

Medic rolled his eyes but nodded. “By the way, have you seen Heavy? I couldn’t find him this morning. We need to have a talk.”

Engineer took a drink of coffee while he thought before he finally shook his head. “No, no sign of him. Honestly thought he was still sleeping.”

Medic made an unhappy sound as he stood up. “I’ll see if I can’t find him after I eat. “You said you made bacon?”

“Yup. And seein’ as you’re the first up, you get dibs.” Medic smiled at that. Being first up had its benefits.

The pair took their time eating, alternating between idle chit-chat and enjoying the calm and silence of the empty room. An hour later, however, they were both shifting nervously and sending worried glances to the doors. No one had shown up, which went well beyond ‘slightly concerning’. Food poisoning made no sense. Heavy had been the last to cook and he was not only very good at it, but both medic and Engineer were fine despite eating the same thing as everyone else. There had been no alerts about an invasion, so surely no one had snuck in.

Still, both Medic and Engineer were unsettled by the fact that something had managed to wipe out 3/4 of the team basically overnight. Finally Medic stood up and started toward the door. “I’m checking on everyone. This makes no sense.”

“I’ll come with you,” Engineer said, doing his best to sound casual as he trotted to catch up.

The halls were silent as they walked, which just made the whole experience that much more unsettling. The halls seemed to stretch on for far too long as they approached the sleeping quarters. When they finally came to a stop, Engineer cocked his head and asked, “Do you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“It sounds like…” Engineer took a few steps forward, “...scratching?”

Medic frowned but followed, still straining to hear whatever it was Engineer had heard. As they approached the first door, Scout’s room, he heard it. A desperate, wild scrabbling like something desperately trying to get out. It stopped suddenly and Medic wondered if they’d been heard. Seconds later there was a thud as something hit the door.

“Scout! Are you okay?” There was silence on the other side for a couple seconds before the scratching started up with a renewed frenzy. That was enough to confirm something was wrong and Medic threw the door open. It wasn’t locked, a concern that was registered as a ‘to be dealt with later’ problem, and both Medic and Engineer burst in to find the room empty.

The bed and floor were a mess and there was no sign of Scout anywhere. “You don’t think someone got to him first, do you?” Engineer asked softly, but Medic shook his head.

“There wouldn’t have been time. Scout? Where are you?”

A croaky meow sounded behind them and both men turned to see a small calico stumble out from behind the door.

No. There was no way. Surely not.

Engineer crouched to get a better look at the cat that eyed him suspiciously. Medic darted to the window only to find it shut and locked. After doing a thorough check of the window, he turned his attention to the rest of the room.

Closet? No.

Under the bed? Nada.

Chest of drawers? Nope.

The room was small and hiding spots were far and few between. It wasn’t long before Medic had searched the room top to bottom to find nothing at all.

Nothing except a cat with a croaky mew.

He felt stupid even considering the possibility, but unless everyone had decided to leave at ass in the morning without telling him and Engineer, it was the only thing left he could think of. He crouched down next to Engineer and stared hard at the cat which stared back at him, still somewhat dazed.

“Here goes nothing. Scout?” The cat perked up and chirped at him, tail shooting straight up. Engineer looked at Medic who just pinched the bridge of his nose. “Scout, can you- can you understand me?” he asked after a moment. The cat nodded and trotted closer, meowing non-stop.

Engineer just looked from Medic to the cat and then back before he sighed as well and stood up. “Alright. Well. That’s a problem.”

“Tell me about it. Probably screamed his head off trying to get someone’s attention, if his voice is anything to go by.” Medic stood up with a sigh and the three shared an awkward silence.

“Medic,” Engineer said slowly, dread beginning to pool in his stomach. “You don’t think…” He trailed off. He didn’t need to finish. It was obvious from Medic’s expression that he knew what Engineer was going to ask.

“No. Surely not. That’s impossible.” But he was already on the move. The next door was Demoman’s. Medic banged on the door and yelled, “Back up! I’m coming in!” before he threw the door open and entered. A large black cat lifted its head and blinked at him blearily. Medic didn’t bother sticking around, having all the confirmation he needed, before moving on to the next room.

Half an hour and a quick trip to Sniper’s camper later found Engineer and Medic in the living room with 6 cats. Heavy was unaccounted for but Medic already knew what he looked like. It was just a matter of working through the guilt long enough to seek out the larger man cat and beg forgiveness. In the meantime, he had his face buried in his hands while Engineer awkwardly patted his shoulder.

The cats, on the other hand, were seated in a circle, chirping and meowing at each other as they discussed their predicament. Soldier, normally loud and aggressive, was quiet while Spy led the conversation. Sniper was half-laying on Scout, licking his forehead or biting his ears when he started to get too worked up. Demoman was loud, though he politely waited his turn, and Pyro - who’d somehow crammed their head in a sock and refused to let anyone take it off - just hopped in with comments whenever they felt like it.

They were getting quite into the discussion when a deep voice cut in with “Мяу.” The conversion stopped as the circle turned to look at the newcomer. Heavy looked down at them for a moment before everyone shifted to fit him in. He settled into a loaf, listening in with the occasional comment and keeping half an eye on the two humans sitting on the couch.

#tf2 #Team Fortress 2 #I wanted to read catboys but I couldn't find anything so now I have to write it myself #And then I realized it was more fun to start by turning everyone into cats and just going from there #Don't worry there will eventually be catboys #I just wanna see the absolute chaos of 7 mercenary cats going absolutely nuts first #tf2 scout #tf2 spy #tf2 medic #tf2 heavy #tf2 engineer #tf2 demoman #tf2 pyro #tf2 sniper #tf2 soldier