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disasterbialert · 3 years

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Hello! I’m still mostly in the void but I’m briefly popping to talk (gush, I’m totally gonna gush) about my fave shows I discovered/brought me joy in 2020! Lots of folks are doing this and I thought it was a really sweet trend so I thought I’d jump on too!

2020 was a lot (obviously) but it was particularly huge for me for a few reasons. I’m not gonna talk too much bc y’all are here for soft queers not Trauma™️, but basically several things happened at once that led to me being pretty devastated and very lost. Hurt, raw, and frightened, I didn’t think I had anywhere to go or anyone to talk to. And then, boom! Fandom and tumblr and twitter and ao3. And suddenly I found tenderness, learned I was allowed that tenderness and affection, that it was ok to seek it, to want it. It was ok to be gentle, to be soft, to be vulnerable. That others felt this way too. That I was safe. So, thank you, beautiful friends and strangers in this nebulous space. My gratitude is boundless and heartfelt.

Ok hah emotions what? ANYWAY. Without further ado and in no particular order, fave shows Let’s go!

1. The Untamed/陈情令/Chén Qíng Lìng/Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation/魔道祖师/Mó Dào Zǔ Shī

THIS SHOW. WOW. This show, the novel and every adaptation, and this fandom have been life-changing. In every way. I started watching cql end of may/beginning of june I think? I binged it in about two weeks. Then I re-watched it with my mum as she experienced it for the first time. THEN we both re-watched it. Soulmates. They’re married and they have a son. Disaster bisexual representation. Found families again and again and again. The cast, the music, the costumes, the sets—everything about this show is breathtaking. I am in awe of everything the creators managed to do. What an incredible experience this show was. And I am so grateful to the fandom, from deep-dive metas to fascinating cultural explorations to equal-parts soft, fluffy, spicy, horny, tender, hilarious fics and fan art. That this fandom has also become a space for me to explore my own queerness, my own identity and my sense of personhood, is truly an unexpected and wonderful gift. Seriously. This show and this fandom—what an absolute gift.

2. 2Gether/เพราะเราคู่กัน /Still 2Gether/เพราะเรา(ยัง)คู่กัน

My first foray into Asian dramas/queer dramas and WOW was it a really bloody good one. My eternal gratitude to Chai (@/proyearner) on twitter for one off-hand comment about a Thai drama on YouTube. Cue snowball. The softness? The hilarity? The hurt/comfort? The fake-dating? The subtle sweetness of BrightWin’s acting? The utter chaos of Man and Boss? EarnPear definitely being canon (no i don’t care that it’s not actually IT IS OK). This show and its sequel were a gosh-darn bloody Win for they gays. And also my entry into queer fandom—something I’ve never truly felt or even really been a part of, despite being out and involved in literally studying queer literature and media for many years. So, thank you Thai BL fandom, thank you Sarawatine, thank you Chai.

3. Where Your Eyes Linger/너의 시선이 머무는 곳에 (series AND film)

The Tenderness. Good grief. I waited until every episode was out and then watched them all. Then when the film was out, I re-watched both. I could wax poetic about this show, about the actors, about the characters, about the writing, about the music, about the editing, about the fight choreography holy shit, but honestly? The above gif encapsulates it pretty entirely: the power of gaze and where it lingers.

4. Guardian/镇魂/Zhèn Hún

Oh my whole heart went to this show and this gorgeous ensemble and the music fuck. Zhu Yilong is phenomenal holy shit. And his and Bai Yu’s chemistry is insane. I’m of the firm belief they paved the way for cql in terms of handling censorship bc WOW. This show was censored and yet everything—ten thousand years of Yearning and Devotion, Love and Tenderness—was so fucking palpable. I cared about everyone: every side character in every case, every villain. And the fact that every character in SID was given their own arc and the actors portrayed them so fucking incredibly. I barely breathed through the majority of Chu Shuzhi’s arc because holy shit Jiang Mingyang blew me away. And Gao Yuer as Zhu Hong? Fucking WOW. I went into this series thinking it was just gonna be a nice fantasy/sci-fi bromance with a sad ending I was going to have to put up with and came out the other side yelling about WeiLan being married with a cat son and I regret nothing.

5. Until We Meet Again/ด้ายแดงซีรีส์

This series cracked me wide open. I cried just about in every episode (obviously) but I specifically remember watching the episode where Pharm meets In’s sister/Dean’s grandma and the music soaring (THIS SONG FUCK https://open.spotify.com/track/7c7FfcuwwGmriy72YAQrud?si=q6Sk871BQPKJIYc4xCYHlg) and my whole heart just breaking and my then partner asked me what was wrong and I couldn’t even speak. I was so overwhelmed with feeling. This show broke my heart but then carefully, gently held me, and allowed time to sit with my cathartic grief. Beautiful, powerful, humbling. An extremely banal but nonetheless important for me plus was the fact that I adored each of the ships equally. So often I find I myself loving side ships more than main ships but this show was so outstanding and the actors did such an incredible job that I just loved them all. An absolute gift.

Honourable mentions: My Engineer; Gaya Sa Pelikula; Together With Me; Love By Chance; HIStory3: Trapped; HIStory2: Crossing the Line; TharnType; She-Ra and the Princesses of Power; Legend of Korra; The Dragon Prince; The Good Place; One Day At A Time; Russian Doll; and Glow.

Bless queer fandom! And my eternal gratitude to translators everywhere—y’all are phenomenal and such a gift!! This year I’d love for more GL dramas and more queer ladies/enbies as well! Not that I don’t love my soft boys!! But I’d k-word/d-word for a lesbian warrior drama or a queer ladies time travel/loop drama or queer enbies vibing on adventures! So here’s to you, 2021: may you not be nearly as shitty, and may you instead be filled with more queerness, more love, more happy endings, more tenderness ♥️

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