#.......... I genuinely don't know what comes under the trans umbrella though so... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

paperstorm · 2 months

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Since you’re writing a demi Carlos fic, I wondered if I can ask you this question. I’m being really genuine here - why is demisexual “queer”? Why does it have a name at all? I ask this as someone who feels like it probably most closely describes how I feel about sexual attraction, and not in any way to denigrate the concept of queerness. I generally don’t think most people are sexually attractive, and even when I do I wouldn’t want to actually sleep with them unless I knew and liked them as a person. It’s very rare that I’m attracted to a person in real life. To be quite honest, I don’t even really think about other people during sex at all, it’s more about the physical feelings (maybe that just makes me a selfish lover). But none of this feels queer to me. It feels like just one way of relating to sex, among a variety of different ways of relating to sex. It also doesn’t feel like something anyone needs to know about me, but more a thing that I might discuss if it came up, like a preference for how I dress or things I like to do. I feel uncomfortable giving myself a label because if it, and I would feel quite presumptuous calling myself queer, because it doesn’t feel like something I’d ever be discriminated against or judged for, or that makes people perceive me differently from people who experience sexual attraction in other ways. I’m curious as to how it’s become part of the queer umbrella. I really don’t want this to come off as offensive in any way. It’s just something I’ve been thinking about a lot as I’ve seen more conversation about it.

It's a fair question and I'm certainly not any kind of authority on it, especially as someone who doesn't personally identify as demisexual. It does sound based on what you're describing that demi is a label that could fit you (if you want a label!) but you're right that the reason demi is on the asexual spectrum but isn't necessarily a sexuality all by itself is because it's not about *who* you are attracted to but *how* you experience that attraction. Like you said, it's a way to relate to sex amongst a variety of ways to relate to sex. That's why both gay people and heterosexual people can be demi (or any of the other things that are on the ace spectrum).

I think that it has been included in the larger umbrella of 'queer' for the same reasons trans people and non-binary people are under that umbrella even though those are also not sexualities - because 'queer' is a big, inclusive umbrella that can encompass anyone who experiences or expresses gender or sexuality in ways that deviate from the culturally accepted norm of heterosexual, allosexual, and cisgender. But how you identify is entirely one hundred percent up to you. I don't personally feel like I fit into any of the widely accepted labels so I don't bother with labels at all. You are WELCOME under the queer umbrella! But if you want to identify as demi but don't feel like you want to consider yourself queer, then you don't have to. The labels are a system with which we have organized the enormous spectrum of human sexuality and gender expression, they are general tools that people can use to understand themselves better. They are not a mandatory name-tag that everyone needs to wear.

#911ls asks

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terribledactyl · 2 years

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wow you've...never spoken to an endogenic system at all have you? cause it's clear you haven't and you'd rather parrot sysmed rhetoric

newsflash asshole - YOU'RE the ones causing the harm. you're the ones who come into OUR tags with your hate, telling us we don't exist because you can't be bothered to educate yourself, screenshot our blogs and raid inclusive plural discords so you can post on disgusting places like r/systemscringe and r/fakedisordercringe, and gaslight endo systems into thinking they must have trauma even though the fucking DSM-V that you love to treat as the gospel even says that trauma is not a requirement for plurality AND that there are other kinds of plurality that do not fit under a traumagenic umbrella.

so either sit down shut up and educate yourself for once and stop aligning yourself with exclusionists that literally take transmed rhetoric and rearrange it for their needs, or fuck off and die

oh and stop posting in our tags

Thank you for caring about others, genuinely I think concern about the wellbeing of others is the most admirable thing a person can do, even if you don’t realize that’s what you’re doing here. While I don’t align myself with people who go on “raids” or anything like that, I can understand the confusion.

I truly hope endogenic systems get the support needed if they do have a system, because systems form through trauma and up-to-date research proves as much. Did you know the DSM is outdated, racist, classist, and harmful to many communities? The best understanding comes from current medical and scientific research, which is admittedly lacking due to it being a divisive field to study, but respectable current research and studies show that systems form through trauma in early childhood. It’s not gaslighting to say any of that. We underestimate just how little children can handle without it counting as trauma, and you probably never even thought you were traumatized that badly as a kid! It sucks. I know. And if you’re 100% sure that you don’t have trauma but claim to have a system, you’re hurting vulnerable people. Simple as that. (You probably have trauma, though. Being poor growing up is traumatic enough to cause a system. Being bullied. Being emotionally neglected or isolated. Even one-off events that you were too young to process correctly. The list goes on.) It’s a coping mechanism, like maladaptive daydreaming. Comparing the above sentiment to transmedicalism is extremely transphobic and ableist. “Seek help if you believe you have something that is exclusive to a trauma disorder, otherwise differentiate your experience so that terms originated for medical use aren’t being misused” isn’t the same as “trans people should be barred from the support they need if they don’t meet medical criteria”. In fact honestly they’re kind of the opposite of each other - one is rallying for more support and aid, and the other is barring people from needed support. And if the above sentiment makes you mad enough to tell someone to kill themselves, please think about who’s actually trying to hurt who, and I hope your life eases enough that you don’t feel the need to suicide bait traumatized people online for suggesting that you might need help.

And for the record, I tag posts both as “traumagenic system” and “endogenic system” so my followers can block tags as needed, and I feel like calling it “syscourse” is a misleading name for the situation (which is its own essay that I won’t get into here), but I’ll change my primary tag regarding endogenic systems to “syscourse” to avoid future confusion. I will not, however, ever hide an outstretched hand to those who need it, including systems who have yet to process their trauma.

#traumagenic system #syscource

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dinotalk · 7 months

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Concern to Blindness

What I'm typing isn't toward any motive of 'erasing [insert group]' or purposely trying to make them look horrible. They are genuine concerns that come to mind in which I am wishing to express.

Transgender ... It is and can be understood they have a hard time living a normal life, that being able to know where they can go and finding relationships. Over the years the group and supporting allies have grown in numbers, quite rapidly, though so has their views and protective nature ... Too protective. One look to any video related to trying to discuss topics of an opposite view to their own, usually ends in one sided arguments and labeling of: bigot, homophobe, transphobe and so on. Even if the opposite view is of a concern.

Which will be ironic if anybody randomly finds my blerbs to the open and it happens to this post here.

It has caused the group to have blindness in the name of sensitivity, inclusion and acceptance. That no matter what, who or their past, any and all transgenders of any kind are to be accepted, included and protected. Where a man is to be fully accepted as a woman, to be allowed in private women spaces and in their sectioned categories (like sports). This includes prisons, where there are handful today putting trans-women into the woman's ward. In the minds of the allies, they see this as utopia. Nothing bad happens, nothing bad will happen and all is right with the world.

Now I may only be referencing trans-women and not trans-men, funny enough trans-men have caused no issues or problems, though for trans-women there have been many.

Now here is the concern to blindness point. This mindset they have and preaching this belief for trans-women opens dangerous doors to women themselves.

Where the many years of fighting for their freedom as human beings, not just women compared to men, is being threatened to once more be dominated by men. Sports where men biologically will be different to women thus the sectioning of the two, yet men who are labeled transgender allowed to easily enter and compete and then win metals with ease. Proof is within the records of metals won by trans-women themselves so far against women. No amount of hormonal pills will change the true anatomy and biology of the gender, especially later in adult years in which the allies turn blindly to.

Though it isn't just about the threat of women losing their spaces once more to men, it is also the danger of letting them in to traditional private spaces. Bathrooms, changing rooms, spas and so on ... places for many, of many hundreds of years sectioned off in privacy and protection. Nobody ignores the fact men tend to be more dangerous than women, especially with sexual assault and physical abuse. We are reminded of such danger day in and day out, YouTube videos, podcasts, movies, TV, comics and so on so forth. Yet, why do the allies push to allow any man who claims to be a woman under the transgender umbrella into these private spaces? Telling women to accept it or be labeled a transphboic bigot, which today as of writing can threaten jobs thanks to the LGBTQ influence of culture today. There have been people trying to give solutions to better allow this, yet the allies don't want any that can be easily offered right now. A guard to check each person of their ID, yet that would be invasive and insulting to trans-people. Your ID to have confirmation you are transgender, having gone through a due process of background checks and mental examinations, but that is also not accepted. The allies want more gender neutral bathrooms, but those can be built so easily ... larger buildings that still have no space for it, the cost it would take and some places being too small for a third bathroom. If we do not either accept trans-people will have to use their biological sex bathroom or have a due process to protect women, then door will be left wide open for danger towards women. It has already been proven through news reports and within prisons that this gives more access for bad men to commit sexual assault. Which the mindset that nobody is allowed to judge, criticize or question a person who claims to be transgender ... Not even a poor attempt of a man growing his hair and putting on a basic dress with jewelry; not making any further efforts. Any bad man with ill intent will have protection under this umbrella to get into spaces easily to commit assault, which would be far too late to do anything since there is no way to tell if it's a man with ill intent. Looking for news reports will shed light on this issue that could get worse, maybe it already has yet it isn't reported on enough due to the fear of being labeled by the LGBTQ/allies.

Again and again ... the irony of all this. Women who speak their voices about these troubles and concern, are all silenced for men who have transitioned to be them. Men have the final say. Men get their way. Women are silenced. Women are demanded to obey or be cast out. And each time I see it happen, I feel deeply sorrowful for them.

This is a rabbit hole, it goes deeper and deeper the more I type. A discussion not meant to be a blerp among the void, but between people in person. If they'll listen before calling others transphobic.

I am not wanting to 'erase' transgenders or remove them, but what I want is for concerns to be heard and taken into serious thought. There is such a thing as over protectiveness and over acceptance, to where it causes more harm than any good. It isn't transphobic to ask for women to keep their spaces or ask for a due process to protect themselves. This acceptance and protective kindness will be abused by bad people, in which will be far too late before it could be stopped.

It needs to be accepted that transgenders are what they are, transitioned human beings and not the sex they believe they are. It's not a bad thing, it's reality. The sooner we accept this the sooner we can actually have discussions. There is very little I can do, anybody else for the matter, aside typing my mind into the void. The only people who can do anything are those in the group, the LGBTQs and their allies. They are in charge of the entire ship, they make the commands and make the rules.

I encourage self research. Don't let people spoon feed you what they tell you is the truth they're showing. If you want to know if anything I say is true, go, research. Find news reporting, articles or what have you that is creditable. Not just some guy who says it's all untrue ... Which is impossible when knowing humans can be absolutely wicked.

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nothorses · 3 years

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I don't know if anyone else has experienced this, and I worry about saying this off anon but I want to actually, be a face as I do. When I came out I knew I wasn't cis, and I was lucky enough to have the support of two wonderful trans partners, but I had an extremely hard time finding my place in the trans community. I am pro MOGAI and new, hyperspecific terms because I know how important it can be to want to put a name, a flag, and individual pride to your identity. 1/?

I switched my own terms quite a lot, from demigirl to genderfae to genderflux to where I am now, genderfluid. But I remember there was a moment, because I was so sure I was only female aligned, where I thought for just a moment that I might be a boy, and I was terrified, I didnt want to be a boy, I didnt want to be "that trans." Like every trans person, I struggled with internalized transphobia, not feeling valid or true enough in my identity, 2/15

But that dreadful feeling of being Scared of being a boy is something I think about a lot, and something I think is truly telling. I'll admit I primarily (only) use tumblr because social media honestly isnt my thing, so I can only speak to what I've seen here, but I remember seeing so little about trans men, other than the occasional mention in broad positivity posts, the even rarer info about binding or passing, but I did see how much people hated men. 3/15

It was always implied to be about cis men, I've been spared the more modern issues regarding overt hatred of trans men, but I saw the constant anger and vitriol and genuine hatred for men. And I realize now I wasnt just scared of being "too trans" I was scared of being hated. So I made myself nonthreatening, I called myself a boy, I performed femininity to an even higher, though subversive standard, because I was still so scared of being a man. The enemy. The oppressor. 4/15

It took many more months to dare say I wanted to call myself a man, and even then I was scared, in the comfort and safety of my girlfriend's company. I felt dirty saying it, and I still do. I always only dare to refer to myself as a trans man, instead of just as a man. And I do want to sidetrack for a moment and say my relationship to gender, as a genderfluid person, is admittedly more complex than just when I feel this way, in other ways people are also particularly hateful towards, 5/15

But even with those other facets, and my fear of being open in them, pale in comparison to my relationship with masculinity. Because when I did come out and admit to myself that sometimes, I am not a woman, or nonbinary, I am a man, I became more aware of things. I exited wonderland, so to say. Suddenly I became so much more aware of how much people simply did not care about me or people like me, and especially not our problems or concerns. 6/15

I saw how invisible I was, and worse than that, I saw a very subtle malice. The only mention of trans men were in those broad positivity posts including everyone under the trans umbrella, or in the rare case something was positive exclusively for trans men, it was always reblogged with "dont forget trans women/enby people" tacked on, I remember once I looked in the trans tag and counted how many posts it took to find one exclusively about trans men that didnt mention binding 7/15

I got into the forties. Because on other posts, I would see people make passive aggressive remarks about how "trans men are talked about too much" or "there's all these resources for trans men, what about trans women" and I wanted to know on what earth the people who said that were living on, because the only, and I mean the only thing people tend to talk about in regards to trans men is how to safely bind, and rarely, the effects of HRT. 8/15

This happened a while ago, but I remember seeing a number of posts on my dash about how much representation trans men receive. I believe there was a panel about trans people, where a majority of the panelists were trans men, and trans women were less represented than them. They encouraged people to complain, said we received too much attention, and pointed at mythical trans male rep in media that in reality, I could count on one hand. I remember being so angry and passionate about it 9/15

Now im honestly just tired. I dont feel accepted by the trans community, and even the trans male community is iffy (I fit in amongst mogai people most, but I cant deny trumeds are particularly prevalent, and it wore on me), and it's so tiring to have every post made by trans men for trans men have to be preambled by belittling themselves and downplaying their own suffering. I just want to exist in peace, but I feel like that's too much to ask. 10/15

I've reached a point of exhaustion that I have become entirely apathetic to my own gender, what was once a deeply important aspect of my identity. I feel disconnected from it, and as a consequence from my own body. I don't bother examining it anymore because I can't feel it, as someone who suffers from dissociation, I feel dissociated from it in order to protect myself, something I was once so openly proud about. 11/15

Im scared to try and push for transition, for my own personal reasons, but now on top of those Im terrified of being silenced and belittled and hated for something that should make me happy. I've tried so hard not to feed into the lateral violence and become embittered towards trans women, because that's not fair, but I won't lie and say it hasnt been hard when I have seen more than I ever would've liked be so willing to ignore or outright throw their brothers under the bus 12/15

And of course there are even more who do show their support for their brothers, and for that im thankful, but this invisibility effects how I perceive everything. I feel like I've been pushed back into the closet, I say im trans because I know I'm not cis but I don't even know who I am, what my place is, and I'm scared to explore because I'm scared that who I am will be violently rejected by the people meant to support me. I want to be free to even explore who I am. 13/15

I wish people would listen to my experiences and what I have to say, but in every microaggression every act of ignoring I feel silenced. Trans men are viewed as predatory, just in a different way; trans men are fetishized and have chasers; trans men face higher rates of violence and sexual assault for being trans men; research about transmasc transition is almost nonexistent, and new, better surgeries are not even thought about; transmasc history is erased and silenced. 14/15

I, feel like im rambling at this point, and I'm sorry I've been so longwinded, I just. I want to thank you, for creating a space where I can speak my truth, because before finding your blog I didn't think anyone would care. I feel like I have so much more to say but honestly im scared, and too tired, and have said enough for now. I just want this feeling of loneliness to go away and hopefully I'll find a way to accept myself. Thank you for listening to me, and giving me a platform to speak 15/15

(Edited the numbers for accuracy)

Thank you for trusting me with this, and to other folks: I think this is an important narrative to listen to and share!

#trans #transmasc #transgender #ftm #nonbinary #the 'transmascs are overrepresented' argument is also provably false #there are about 1/3 the amount of trans male characters in film and tv that there are trans female #and thats being generous #its very clearly an issue of hypervisibility v invisibility and both groups struggle in different ways!#harlequincy

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