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#And if/when there's ever the interest for it I've got another 200 just sitting waiting to go so like
sysig · 2 years
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Decided to unlock a few pages since I’ve basically already showed them off over here, feel free to check out the like five extra doodles lol
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oddly specific memories i have of listening to tma
in honor of the finale, and because i am a sentimental asshole, i bring you this potentially uninteresting and completely pointless list. i'm gonna miss this show a lot
half my original reasoning for listening to the podcast was to motivate me to walk on the treadmill. this did not work. but i did it the first time, when i was going through the trailers and anglerfish, and i remember the room where my dad keeps the treadmill is really dark and the spooky chanting sort of freaked me out
after the treadmill, i ended up listening to the bulk of the first four episodes on the couch, and halfway through i let my oldest cat, winnie, who always lived outside (i know, i was very against actually keeping her outside) in the house. and she jumped up on the couch with me, which she literally never did. (she was very grumpy and not super affectionate.) i had that cat since i was five, and she passed last june, and i really miss her. quarantine kind of gave us the opportunity to hang out with her a lot, because we were home so much. so i'm glad these memories are kind of intersected in my mind. (below: a pic i have from that day.)
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my friend sarah relistened along with me the first time around, which was extraordinarily sweet of her, and also led to some interesting interactions. for example: she forgot when it was revealed that sasha was dead, so she accidentally spoiled that for me when i asked when the others would find sasha (and i spent all of season 2 just like. anxiously vibrating over this fact). she also made this post, when i was still in like early first half of season 1, and my immediate thought was "oh no martin is dead." i hadnt even MET martin at this point
back in early quarantine, my mom had this rule that we had to do something new every day (to keep away the depression... ha ha). anyways, all i wanted to do in my free time was sit around and listen to tma (and also watch this show i was into on netflix), so i came up with some lame excuses, one of which was "i'll give myself a pedicure." this led to the memory i ultimately associate with mag 56 (trevor herbert 2) being me sitting out on our roof balcony thing, giving myself a horrendous pedicure
another time, my family wanted to go play tennis, and they brought me along and brought a hammock for me to lay in. there was this excess material from the hammock, and the sun was in my eyes, so i ended up pulling it up and over me to block the sun and creating this ridiculous hammock cocoon thing. one of the episodes i listened to that day? "tucked in."
before i ever started the show, my friend sarah stayed with me while i was pet sitting. i remember when she got there, she'd just listened to 150 and was telling me how freaky it was (she was still trying to get me into the show), and she was like "of course we're staying on a CUL DE SAC." (that was also the weekend she watched us for the first time and was very upset because i slept through the whole thing, which is scary when you're staying somewhere by yourselves.) anyways, i spent the whole show waiting for the scary cul de sac episode
while i was listening to the show for the first time, my step-dad (an artist) started painting an EYE on the door downstairs near my bathroom. a fucking EYE. he didn't finish it til i had finished the show. but still weird!!
i binged like 12 episodes in one day to finish season 4, which is not impressive at all, but it's still my personal record. i just remember staying up late in my dark bedroom (til like.... 11 i'm lame and i go to bed early), listening to like 158 & 159 & 160 and just being knocked on my ass by how good it all was... i was SUPER spoiled by this point, through my own fault, and i knew exactly what was coming, but actually experiencing it was nuts
the second week i listened live was 167, where the public release was delayed by a couple hours by accident. i spent like 20 minutes refreshing spotify, thinking it was broken, before going on tumblr and seeing what the deal was. (and 167 remains one of my favorites of s5 because i remember just going "thank god it was worth the wait.")
this one car ride where sarah and i made some of our friends listen to the first three episodes of the show. it was the middle of the night and we were just like blasting down i40 listening to anglerfish and do not open etc
the night the what the ghost episode publicly dropped was the night after my graduation, and i was sleeping out on the couch in the living room so my grandfather could sleep in a bed. it was super dark, and i am a jumpy person, and i Remember being mildly disgusted with myself because the corny sound effects were actually freaking me out. (i think i mightve actually seen something weird that night, maybe, but that's another story.)
the weekend my parents moved me into college, we couldn't get the cable in the house we were staying in, and we were all sitting around doing nothing, so i jokingly suggested starting tma with them, and they were like ok grace. my step-dad promptly fell asleep and my mom zoned out -- which is probably good, she doesn't like horror and she's super claustrophobic, so it's probably better we never got to do not open
my brief roommate in college talked about how she was into those youtube channels where people just read scary stories, so of course i was like try tma out. so she listened to the first episode on her own, and we were out one night, and she started mag 02 while i went into an ice cream place. she was into it (she kept being like open it, ya pussy) and wanted to keep listening while we went home, and even back in our room. i had only been in town for a couple weeks, and barely knew my way around, but i also didn't want to turn the gps on and be interrupted every five seconds. so i tried to find our way back on my own. it took the entirety of mag 03, and into mag 04, before i did it. so now i will forever associate across the street with all those wrong turns i took in a dark, semi unfamiliar city, trying to get back to our college without a gps
the day of the early drop for 179 was the day i moved back home from college -- a five hour drive by myself. i ended up listening to it on the final stretch of the trip, when i was super tired and it was dark and i knew it'd probably be a crazy episode. just me full blasting down i40, drinking an energy drink (which i never do) through a hole punched in the top, listening to daisy's death
186 early dropped the day after initial u.s. election day (when we still didn't know anything). my mom had set up a "watch party" in the living room with these giant air mattresses, and we all sort of spent the day crowded around the TV watching the numbers. not much of a memory, but i remember sitting on that air mattress and listening to martin's monologue in the midst of that messy week
i had a virtual therapy appointment on the day of 187's early drop, and my dad was home, so i drove to an empty parking lot to do the session in some privacy. i was trying to listen to the episode before the session started, so i ended up listening to the last half sitting in my car, in the pouring rain, just staring at my radio in shock (187 remains one of my favorite s5 episodes)
my friend sarah had just come home for winter break the day 189 dropped, and we decided to listen together, just like driving around in circles drinking coffee and listening and speculating on whether or not that was really martin
i started my relisten right after thanksgiving and was just kind of blowing through fast as i could through the whole of december. i had to go back to college to empty out my dorm, and i went to the beach after, and i ended up listening to mag 11 while just like walking around in circles in the tide pools. the closer it got to christmas, the more christmassy i wanted to keep things, so i would like. listen in the mornings and turn on one of those Netflix fireplaces and get all cozy
my other friend went with me on a mini bagel road trip in december, and he was still trying to get caught up, so we listened to mag 169, 170, and 171 on the drive home. (by this point, i was accustomed enough to s5 and smiting scenes to automatically reach for the volume controls when jude perry and jared hopworth died.)
when i relistened to mag 47, i was sitting with my cat beezus. i paused the episode to write this big long meta, so i was in a different headspace when i pressed play again. jon immediately yelled for sasha and i immediately jumped, and beezus gave me a searing glare and just got up and left
i relistened to piecemeal while i was cooking, which i thought was kind of funny and also disgusting
after christmas, i got into the habit of bringing my cat georgia into my room in the mornings, and she'd crawl under the covers with me while i listened to tma
one story i've always liked to tell from my first listen is how when i first listened to the meat arm grinder episode, my dad asked me to help him cook hamburgers later that day and explained how hamburgers are ground up (to my disgust). i hit meat grinder in my relisten and um. you'll never fucking guess what i made for lunch that day
so i had all these arbitrary rules for myself when i started tma last april, and i've broken like all of them. i started listening to tma while virtually working -- you just pull it up on your computer and it works. (i got the life scared out of me when one of my coworkers started talking over the podcast, wondering who it was that had walked into jon's office and why he wasn't reacting and why i didn't remember it.) i also started listening a lot while driving, which led to several long meta posts i wrote being typed up in a parking lot somewhere
i spent the entirety of 194 anxious-cuddling georgia. (i tried to do this for 198 and then didn't have any anxiety to cuddle her over.) i fully plan on doing this for 200, where i am sure i will need it again
my favorite place to listen to tma probably ended up being the roof room at my mom's, and unless something goes awry, this is where i will listen to the finale. (with georgia, of course.)
this list is super uninteresting, like i said, but here it is. i'm gonna miss this show a lot. i can't wait to return to it, later in life, and make all new listening memories in the process
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Anon asked,
hello, could you write something with eleven where he takes the reader to an amusement park or something of the like on another planet and they spend the day there? maybe aliens show up, I don’t know, up to you! thanks love :)
So here's my best shot! I hope you enjoy it!
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11th Doctor x reader
Visiting Childhood Places
The Doctor takes y/n to his favorite place in the whole wide galaxy.
Word Count 2,018
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"Doctor, where are we going today?" You asked as you leaned your back against the railing. 
"Oh I thought, we could go somewhere fun today!" He looked over to you smiling from the control panel. 
Usually when the Doctor says, "fun" he means, "go to another planet and get accidently caught by aliens and sent to jail". So when you gave him a skeptical look he was not surprised to see it coming from you. Many times you were told places would be fun. Meeting Christopher Columbus was supposed to be fun and it was, until the doctor found out that Chris was just a clone who was part of some ancient alien race trying to take over the new colonie. Then that led to more danger and big spaceships. But in the end everyone was okay and ended up alive, and all of history was put back into place. 
The Doctor just smiled at you, "trust me this one won't be as bad as the times before." 
"I'll be the judge of that" you replied with a sly grin and a wink. 
He laughed it off and started pulling levers and twisting knobs. The Tardis started making its iconic wooshing sound. You held onto the railing and was laughing as the Doctor jumped from here to there to get the spaceship to travel to wherever you were going. 
As the Tardis settled down, the Doctor was ecstatic. He ran over to you with a happy smile, grabbed your hands and twirled you around. 
You were astounded by his giddiness over one place. The last time he was this happy was when he learned to rollerskate. You had the biggest smile on your face as he twirled you around in a few more circles. 
"Are you ready?" He asked as he stopped spinning you and took one of your hands. 
You nodded your head and his eyes lit up. You followed the Doctor to the door of the Tardis. 
"Now, when I say fun, this is what I mean. I haven't been here in hundreds of years!" 
He swung open the door and stepped out with you right behind him. 
"Welcome to the biggest amusement park on the planet Aerelia. Where all aliens can come together and have some fun!" 
You looked at the place amazed. The whole place was like a human amusement park but 10 times bigger. There were rollercoasters, some with tracks some without. Food vendors everywhere, selling treats from all sorts of different planets around the galaxies. Aliens of all sorts were walking up and down the long walkways. Some of the aliens you could recognize were the ood, slitheen, adipose, and vinvocci, but there were a lot more that you did not know. Balloons and what looked to be cotton candy were being sold by some aliens walking around the park as well.
"Doctor this place! It's just incredible!" You exclaimed.
His eyes darted from one thing to the next like a child in a candy store. He started walking and you went along with him as both of your hands were glued to each other. 
It was like walking in a wonderland filled with all sorts of delights and games, rides that you've never seen before that look quite scary. 
"I was never fond of those ones" the Doctor would say as he pointed up to the huge roller coasters that floated above and around you. Some flipping people upside down while others just flashed before you like a speed of light.
"Are you telling me you're actually scared of something Doctor?" 
"Well, not really. Just found other things around here to fill my time with." He smiled at you with eyes that were filled with kindness.
"Okay then Doctor. Show me what a normal day would be like here if you were a kid?" 
His smile got much wider and he seemed to accept the challenge.
"One must first partake in the eating of a fried zigtobno." 
"A what?" 
"A fried zigtobno. It's quite delicious really! Somewhat of a funnel cake as they would call it on Earth." 
You gave him a confused look as he led you down the aisle of food vendors, surrounding you on both sides. Many of the places had small lines, but the one the Doctor was leading you to had no line at all. 
It was a small yellow shack that had a sign above it that said 
~FRESH FRIED ZIGTOBNO~
The alien inside was a small creature with 4 tentacles running down its face. It looked like a small ood but with a shrimp like head with a human body. It had what seemed to be a thick layer of flour all over his apron, and when he moved the flour seemed to move with him like a ghost. 
"Ahh Herbert my good pal! How's it been?" The Doctor flew his hand onto the counter and Herbet flew his hand on top of the Doctors. They did a very interesting hand shake that consisted of fistbumps, finger snaps, a pinky promise and at the end the Doctor made a bird call while the Shrimp man (or whatever he was) just put his hand up to his eyes and covered them.
After the complex ritual, Herbet and the Doctor started laughing. 
"Good to see ya old pal! What can I get for you and your lovely misses today?"
You slightly blushed at the choice of words this Shrimp man had said. 
"Just one fresh fried zigtobno please!" 
Herbert smiled and whipped around to fix up a zigtobno. Although you couldn't see what exactly he was making it sure did smell good. 
"How long have you known Herbert?" You asked out of curiosity.
"Oh just around 400 years or so. Great pal. He saved me from a trash can falling on me once. That's the day I fell in love with his food stand. Never wanted any other food than fresh fried zigtobno." He stood there with his eyes closed smelling the sweet smell that was coming from the little shed. 
"One order for you Doctor." 
The Doctor was reaching inside his pocket but before he could pull out anything Herbert just said, "Don't worry about it. This one's on me." 
The Doctor smiled and patted Herbert on the arm. "Thanks friend. I owe you one!" He smiled and grabbed the zigtobno and walked over to a bench, sitting where you could look off at all the rides in the area. 
The zigtobno was not what you were expecting. It had a cinnamon roll type texture but it was in one big heaping like an elephant ear. The powder that was on top of it consisted of pastel colors that luminated in the sunshine. 
"Here you have the first bite." The Doctor said as he held the paper plate the food was on. 
You tore off a piece and it was slightly gooey on the inside. Not sure if it was completely baked or it was supposed to be like that you took a bite anyways. 
Your eyes light up like a million stars, as you tasted the pastry. The dough tasted as though a fresh warm baguette, with the powder as cool strawberries all mixed with a slight chocolate flavor hinting on the tip of your tounge. 
"This is the best food I've ever had. Like better than Aunt Cindy's raspberry tart she makes for Christmas." 
The Doctor laughed as you quickly reached for another piece and ate it quickly. He joined in as well and ate the simple pastry made by the Shrimp man Herbert.
Once you were both done eating, the Doctor continued to show you around a few more of his favorite places. Some of which were the center drama, where mini plays were put on throughout the day. The one you ended up watching was like a Romeo and Juliet spin-off. Instead of them both dying they just left Earth with some aliens and started a whole new colony. The Doctor thought it was fantastic while you on the other hand thought it could have been a little less cliche. But come on, it's Romeo and Juliet we're talking about. 
He also showed you some of his favorite rides like the flying dragons, which you could control going up and down. And let's be honest the Doctor did most of the controls himself.  Another ride was more like a simulation of whether you could get out in 10 minutes or not. And again he did most of the work for that one as well.
But as the day went on the night started to fall and it was getting quite late. You were getting slightly tired from all the fun you've been having, but the Doctor had one more thing purposefully planned put. (Apparently it's been planned for quite some time. But you know time travel and how that all works, and let's be honest he probably wandered off to run to the Tardis and do this because he just thought of it like 2 seconds ago)
The sky was almost fully dark and the stars were shining brightly. The Doctor led you to one last ride, a ferris wheel. 
He checked his watch and started mumbling under his breath. "Right. Now just wait a few more ticks and then we should be good to go." 
You kept giving him sideways glances as you walked up to the large ferris wheel. 
"Did you know that this was built only 200 years ago, and it still runs to this day!" You could tell he was getting nervous. Spilling out random facts about random things was what he did when he got nervous. Yet you had no idea why he was so scared over one ride on the ferris wheel. Didn't he want to go on it? Was he that afraid of heights?
With a slight "hmm" the Doctor seemed to settle down a bit and slowly started to relax more. 
When you reached the line the doctor handed the ticket taker 2 very old fashioned tickets. The ticket taker smiled and then winked at me as we entered the cart. 
When the Doctor walked in he turned around to see what my reaction would be. 
The cart was filled with fuzzy blankets, a tub of popcorn, and a giant zigtobno placed on the seats across from us. The Doctor smiled as he saw my eyes light up with joy. 
"Did you do all of this?" 
"Oh possibly. Maybe it was the past me, or the future me, hard to tell sometimes." He smiled and sat down on the right side of the cart. You joined him and then the wheel started turning up. 
When the wheel was at the very tippy top it stopped. You could see the whole sky from up there. Galaxies and stars could be seen from up here. 
Soon shooting stars started to light the sky. 
"Doctor this is amazing!" 
He smiled as the stars were passing the both you from up above. 
"Tonight marks the 500th year anniversary of the legend of Mika and Woo. The ones the play were about."
Ahh yes the cringy Romeo and Juliet play that you watched earlier that day. 
The Doctor slowly placed his arm around your shoulder as he continued talking. 
"Legend has it that once that Mika and Woo landed on an abandoned planet they started their own colony. Representing peace for all alien races. That's what this place represents, peace for all to come together as one."
"That's just beautiful Doctor" 
"I know isn't it?" He turned his head every so slightly to get a glimpse of your amazed face. 
You slowly put your head down on his shoulder, the Doctor tensed up a bit not knowing what to do. But as minutes went on he started to relax. 
About 10 mins later you were out asleep, from such a long day you had the Doctor did not blame you. 
He gently placed a soft kiss on top of your head and then continued to fall asleep himself. 
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A/N thanks so much for reading I hope you enjoyed it! If you have any requests please feel free to pop a question!
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me-on-set · 5 years
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Harrowingly Strange
When was the last time you had to face a moral dilemma? I am still reeling. I actually just got home. I think I invented a new selfie style. I wanted to take a photo of my makeup on and off.
As I currently write this, I am not an actor but instead have been doing background work for the past year. I've occasionally been a featured extra and was a body double once.
It's fascinating, seeing and doing the work that embodies being on set.
A couple of days ago, I received a message from a casting agency that had my headshot asking to submit my photo for a featured non-speaking role with a local production company. It was a one or two day shoot at $200 per day. I said yes and I got the gig.
When you are cast, you get an email the night before with details about the set location, start time, special instructions, and wardrobe. This show I booked was for a reenactment TV series about real world events. The exciting news was that this particular episode revolved around a crisis that occurred in my parents' homeland. I was to play someone at home seeing the news on television, and then in a second scene complain to police of their incompetence. I was asked to bring leisure clothing one would wear at home.
When I first started being an extra, I would bring my clothes in a backpack, trying really hard not to care too much. That behavior did not last. I found my interest stumbling forward into a natural evolution. I started taking luggage to neatly carry my wardrobe options. I found that I would mostly get cast as a mid-30's businessman. This led me to comfortably bring my outfits in a garment bag. It's funny how familiarity can grow your views.
For today, I packed shorts, sweatpants, t-shirts, a hoodie, a pair of runners, and a pair of flip flops. I got these flip flops during my last vacation with my mom overseas in her hometown. I also brought some henley shirts and arrived on set in khakis and a short-sleeved polo because there was also a mention of button-ups being an option.
The majority of work involved as an extra is waiting. It's a good idea to bring a book, although in this day and age, occupying oneself with a smart phone is a much more fulfilling time killer. I didn't end up using any of the clothes I had brought except for my belt and my runners. After my hair and makeup were done I decided to satisfy my curiosity by searching keywords of this specific production. I searched the name of the character I was to reenact. Adding quotations to strict strings of words, I had soon discovered the event I was going to portray. This was when my moral dilemma began.
I was born and raised in North America by immigrant parents who arrived in their early 20's. The typical experiences had by people of color paint a relatively positive mural that represents my upbringing. Having visited my ethnic country many times throughout my life, I felt, and still feel, a deep connection to the motherland. This connection is common for others like myself, powered by identity in a time where life will sometimes present it as a limitation. Conversely, this only strengthens cultural pride.
The role I was to play was an international representing their countrymen against the very country I identify with. Pangs of uneasiness flooded my body. There was another featured role performer who had an earlier call time. We sat together in the holding area. He was cast to play the part of a family member learning the news of the event. What surprised me more was the fact that he was a recent immigrant from my country of ethnicity. Us both, cast in roles of coincidental conflict of interest?
When it comes to acting, the only other time I recall having feelings of apprehension was during a big budget movie filmed in a church. I was a church goer among a sea of church goers seated in church pews. We were instructed to portray the enjoyment of a church service. Some of us were selected to stand and sway to the Christian music. Some had their eyes closed, head tilted to the ceiling, palms facing up to the heavens. As easy a physical task that is, I instead opted to clap along to the band and pretend to really feel the sounds of my favorite music. I know it's just acting but I was driven by the thought of my mom seeing me do anything other than that on camera. So, I coursed the music through my veins. I know the history of the band members, the albums, this music moves me, pretend.
I received my paperwork and read it over a cup of coffee from craft services. It was standard paperwork that I've filled out over a dozen times before. I looked at the inviting exit door. I was parked right outside. This is not that big of a deal, is it? I imagined this TV episode making its way to the news overseas, the citizens all over the world deeming me a traitor for perpetuating a negative image, not merely through action but through representation against them. Against us. Am I selling out? For two hundred bucks?
I thought about getting up and leaving. I thought about all of the hard work that people have put into this specific production. If you haven't been behind the scenes before, it is quite the trip. An assortment of heavy duty cables line the floors, taped in place. Racks of props in designated areas. The backstage crew zip around in sync, bursting with walkie-talkie sounds and hollers of instruction. There is a commonality in the many interactions, their minds tuned into the goal meant to be achieved. This is their career.
This is my hobby. I am a prop. Would leaving this put a blemish on my record in the local film community, or the film industry as a whole, because I wasted everyone's time being sensitive? As I languished, I get a message from my best friend and I tell him I'm on set. I tell him:
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For some reason, that makes me feel better. I just might be able to work with that mentality. The other guy has finished. He returns his wardrobe and collects his belongings. I ask him if he knows what this show is about. We speak in our language among the English-speakers. I ask him if he thinks people back home are going to be mad at us. I ask him if he knew we were going to be doing this. He seems ok with it all. He said he was there during the actual event. He's new to the industry. We laugh about how we can pass as different races. This is his first time being on camera. He said he enjoyed the experience. I ask him if he'll continue. He said yes. I hope he does.
Finally, wardrobe is set and I am wearing a navy blue golf shirt and some gray slacks. I want to feel good, like the other times I've worked. How can I get that feeling? They're calling me on set. They adjust the lighting while I sit in front of the camera. A fog machine fills the mock living room belonging to my character. When the camera rolls, there is a fake TV in front of me that I am to watch casually at first and then grow increasingly interested as the live footage I am pretending to watch unfolds. I am supposed to build up into a frustration with the host country. My country. As I understand it, the real guy is being interviewed and I am the reenactment; the illustration of his side of the story. I do the scene. Twice. Filming took less than 5 minutes total. The whole time I was thinking about my mom. I can remember it still, a few hours ago today, the director describing the gradual transpiring of the footage to guide me. To help me see a reason to be frustrated on camera. It wasn't helping. It's not his fault. I don't think it's anyone's fault. I don't think they even knew why I would be uncomfortable. I don't think they knew much about the countries involved in the event. They even spelled the city name wrong. I don't even think the takes were that bad.
I wish it wasn't about my country. If it were different, I feel like I could have given more - like I had done at the church.
It's unsettling to perform make-believe, but for myself I have managed to apply a mental exercise that immerses me into a character; to actually be the person. The trick is to relate. To tie the emotion to a real memory and relive it. If it had only been about another country, I'm sure I would have enjoyed the process a lot more.
I'm writing this and I was hoping it would help me shake away this dread. Thoughts of regret imagining if I had only researched the keywords sooner. Maybe I would have cancelled. But that wouldn't have been better. I would be blacklisted and never cast as another role again. Or maybe I'm being dramatic. Hey, that's good for this line of work, right?
I honestly hope the final cut looks great. This is the biggest role I've ever been in. They gelled my hair funny like a nerd, I had on large framed glasses, just like the portrayed, and they put makeup on my upper lip to hide my dark, clean-shaven stubble.
When I got home, before I washed my makeup off, I took a before and after mirror selfie because my face looked comedically smooth. Taking the pictures reminded me of when I was sipping coffee in the holding area. I had taken pictures of my paperwork. I remember my mind racing. The feeling was like gathering license plates and insurance information after a collision. You know, just in case I have to stand trial, my cultural membership in jeopardy. I can review my situation with a lawyer to see what I can and can not say during a variety show interview that is getting my side of the story after viral, captioned screenshots of me flood the internet with embarrassing memes, stamped into history. Jesus Christ, that would be the worst. Here I go again with extreme maybes. It's an entertaining curse that I will forever be engulfed in my own hypothetical torture.
Anyway, here's that selfie I invented:
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Yeah my bathroom mirrors are dirty.
I can't wait for my next job that I can cleanse my palate with. I really hope I can accept today as purely an actor's portrayal, and not a turncoat betrayal. This can't be my last go at acting. I ate some of my country's food for supper. I feel a bit better. I'm wearing a shirt that is emblazoned with our country's sports hero.
I have always been excited to see the final release of a production I am in, except for this one now. Uncontrollably, my perverse curiosity into the film world is only strengthening, so I don't think even the worst thoughts can slow my future participation. The silver lining is that the uncomfortable bar is set to a new level. I could reenact a murderous deviant now without batting a moral eyelash, I like to think. All for the sake of film.
- WSS, February 8, 2019
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