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honkshoo-zzz · 1 year

Text

mm oddly specific tf2 headcanons in no particular order based around a fic i’m writing (some NSFW, so be warned, and some courtesy of @officialbananabro and our joint brainrot):

• sniper is an insomniac due to trauma-induced OCD. he has to check all windows and doors before going to sleep, and even then often ends up just keeping surveillance out the window all night because he can’t sleep

• scout runs for fun: helps get rid of excess energy and has just been doing it forever so he’ll jog around base if it gets particularly slow work-wise.

• scout is a comic-book enjoyer. what comics he likes are up to individual discretion, as i don’t know enough about em to pick em

• spy is a SLUT who is afraid of commitment (hence running from scout’s mom when he. made scout, and probably fucking a couple of the other mercs)

• sniper has a mullet. i don’t CARE what the official art says. THAT MAN HAS BUSINESS IN THE FRONT AND A PARTY IN THE BACK

• spy is a bottom fuck you

• sniper is NOT into piss but WILL make jokes about it and WILL NOT DENY IT when it’s brought up

• soldier cannot comprehend that two mercs would be fucking until it’s literally spelled out for him. he’s not homophobic he’s just a lil slow

• medic and heavy have been happily married for (probably) decades

• medic knows ALL of the hot-goss around base. he knows who’s fuckin who, and who knows about it, and who is SUPPOSED TO know about it. and he relays all of this information to heavy during brunch cause he thinks it’s funny

• sniper and medic are autistic, scout has adhd, soldier and demo have PTSD, and somehow spy is perfectly mentally healthy besides having mommy AND daddy issues (probably)

• engie is smart enough to determine who’s hiding relationships around base, but is polite and minds his business

• basically everyone knows sniper is fucking spy, and when he starts bonin’ scout, EXCEPT for soldier. and when sniper and scout announce their relationship soldier’s the only one to be like “WOW CONGRATULATIONS BOYS WHO WOULDA THUNK” but everyone else is unfazed

• medic is a HUGE masochist and likes heavy *literally* throwing him around the room during sex. like homelander-stormfront chucking-through-the-wall type shit. heavy’s not as into it but it makes medic happy so he does it

• spy also enjoys getting his hair pulled, but won’t take the mask off during sex so his partner has to do it from under the mask/use the mask instead (without pulling it off)

• scout and miss pauling, after scout confesses and miss pauling rejects him due to being lesbian (among other reasons, but that’s the biggest one), they become gay besties and scout goes to her for advice on sniper n they gossip n such

• however miss pauling being miss pauling already knows pretty much everything before scout gets to her so she’ll just. give the advice before he can even ask it. example:

s: “hey, miss pauling, can I ask you sum’?”

mp: “i can’t help you nor sniper with sniper’s ocd-induced insomnia, that’s something he needs to work on himself before i, let alone you, go butting into it. give him time, and be patient, and he’ll come to you when he’s ready.”

s, stars in his eyes: “wow you’re good”

• also pyro, of course, knows everything but is too busy hosting tea parties and setting her guests on fire to do anything about it. shorty is living his best, aro-ace life, unproblematic and slaying.

ok i think that’s it for now. feel free to add i think these guys are silly and need as much content as possible thank you uwu

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kalunfinch · 4 years

Text

Arcana ships

Volta x Vulgora: 2

•why are they always together?

•I like them as a bittersweet pairing. Cause they bicker a lot and Volta is really sensitive

•food fight date

Volta x Nadia: 3

•Volta totally has a crush on Nadia

•”She always gives me good food”-Volta

•the other courtiers practically BEG her to put her crush on Nadia to the side.

•Volta is fiercely loyal

•I feel like Volta’s old age and experience could bear a lot of wisdom

Muriel x Julian:

•Muriel only dislikes Julian because he’s loud. I feel like Julian would be able to understand this. They could make it work out. Build each other up. Definitely a slow burn.

•both great with kids imo

•Julian doctors them

•Julian tries so hard to get Muriel to like him omg.

•he also doesn’t like MC at first sooo... it could work out potentially

Nadia x Muriel:

•Regal vs homy

•showing each other the way that they live their lives and getting a better understanding of the world because of it

•drink tea together

•support Vesuvian artists together

•minds his boundaries

•build each other’s confidence

•definitely gives this touch starved boy some affection

•they would raise the most amazing heir to the throne

•she has more than enough family to replace the one that Muriel never got and her sisters are thrilled

•HE GAVE HER BREAD IN HEARTHUNTER

•comfort each other

•together they can be less weighed down by their pasts

Portia x Muriel:

•Portia being fiercely supportive of Muriel

•she’d convince him that it’s okay to use his strength

•their lifestyles match the best out of anyone in the game making them affectively the most domestic couple

•Portia is so observant of Muriels feelings

•their children would be SO well rounded

•just imagine them bumping into each other several times and Portia being like “I can’t wait to see him again he seems interesting” only to forget him each time

•just Muriel as a dad

•they want a future

•stay at home dad

•probably only one kid because birth is a bitch

•would pamper Portia so much after a long day

•so fucking wholesome

•she would LOVE to see his fighting skills

•I want them to play fight it’d be so cute. Muriel let’s Portia win just cuz

Nadia x Julian:

•both very physically affectionate

•Nadia kinda treated MC as a pet and Julian is subby af soo it kinda just works

•support each other in their endeavors. Julian supports her tinkering and Nadia supports his experiments

•make Julian a blushy mess

•also, Julian is so thoughtful and gave her a Netipot to help with her congestion and they would be so great

•connected to the people more and Julian definitely knows and can make ideas to help impoverished areas

•Julian knows about the crime that goes on in the city and he could probably help work out a way so that less people get hurt without restricting the rights of the people

•always checking in on each other making sure they don’t overwork and overwhelm themselves and they both now how to wind down 😏

Asra x Julian:

•not one of my favorites but as confirmed exes this ship is a worthy mention

•very playful relationship I feel like

•much more sexual than a lot of other ships

•expand each other’s understanding of the world

•keeps Julian from overworking

•with the flashback of talking about how “Julian has it all wrong MC is my one true love” it makes me feel really weird like Asra is using him.

•kinda tainted by the fact that I don’t like Asra

•but hey. Julian IS a masochist and Asra sees no problem giving him what he wants.

•Asra probably feels guilty after a long kinky night. Julian would be wonderful at aftercare

•showing Julian a whole new world. Also, is it just me or does Julian have ADHD I know he has issues with volume control and oooo buddy so do I

•honestly, I can’t see it working with Asra’s best friend and boyfriend being unable to get along

Portia x Nadia:

•everyone is already 1000% on board with this one but I’m gonna cover it anyway

•best friends to lovers is GREAT

•they will do amazing running the kingdom together. They’re both so highly respected and aghdjbs

•Portia will make it so much easier for Nadia to remember the people

•OMG I JUST REALIZED Portia hasn’t met Nadias birb! Omg! She would LOVE to give her treats and play with her

•explore the world together

•I want them to take each other to their homelands

Muriel x Asra:

•very quiet

•best friends to lovers

•They wouldn't have kids and they’re both fine with that

•they understand each other and talk things out and they’re healthy and wholesome!

•they would babysit Nadia and Portia’s kids

•FEED THIS MAN

•self care TREAT YO SELF

•yassss spoil Inana Asra!!!!

•bruh Inana and Faust are galpals

•they spoil their pets together

Portia x Asra:

•honestly, I would feel so betrayed if they were together

•I wanted Portia T~T

•how dare y’all be so cute and wholesome

•it starts as mutual respect and evolves

•Portia learns how to use magic

•Mazelinka teaches Portia stuff too

•Mazelinka would be so proud and would love her new kid/son in law

•Portia would LOVE the adventure into magical realms with Asra

•Asra is best cat-dad

•Portia and Faust snuggling

•I love them together

Asra x Nadia:

•I don’t get it

•but! I’m all about those *rare pairs*

•Asra would LOVE all the outfits feeling so secure in the neutral clothing

•loves to make grand entrances to spook the guards

•now the government has royalty on its side

•Asra would trust Nadia to tell them if there was ever anything wrong

•spa day! Would LOVE to pamper each other

•they respect each other so much and I absolutely adore their banter

Lucio x Julian:

•doesn’t work with the canon

•Julian just ain’t into Lucio darling

•But~ I love entertaining these ship ideas.

•Nadia is going to keep the throne so if Lucio got his body back another way Julian could show him life from his perspective

•they face their mistakes together and learn that they don’t have to hate themselves to atone for them

•Build each other up!

•the two least magical idiots in love how... magical!

•tripping over each other because they both wanna be the knight in shining armor

Volta x Muriel:

•smol and large

•both believe themselves to be monstrous

•embrace the gluttony

•affectionate couple

•both shy

•Volta clings on and they grow affectionate towards one another

Nadia x Valerius:

•apologizes and confesses feelings for Nadia

•wine and tea

•he improves as a person

•bond over their terrible shared ex

•they learn together to let their guard down even in front of those they lead

•you don’t always have to be regal and refined

Nahara x Julian:

•honestly I just want Nahara to become a Devorak

•fight and sail together

Nahara x Portia:

•y’all know that thing

•gayyyyy

•warriors through and through

•travel everywhere

•honestly not the types to settle down

Julian x Natiqa:

•I just like their banter

•they’d get into so much trouble together

Nazali x Julian:

•they really respect each other

•maybe bad ship with the age gap butI think it’d be wholesome

•I guess I like Julian and royalty ships 🤷‍♂️

#the arcana #aracana ships

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kalunfinch · 4 years

Text

Arcana ships

Volta x Vulgora: 2

•why are they always together?

•I like them as a bittersweet pairing. Cause they bicker a lot and Volta is really sensitive

•food fight date

Volta x Nadia: 3

•Volta totally has a crush on Nadia

•”She always gives me good food”-Volta

•the other courtiers practically BEG her to put her crush on Nadia to the side.

•Volta is fiercely loyal

•I feel like Volta’s old age and experience could bear a lot of wisdom

Muriel x Julian:

•Muriel only dislikes Julian because he’s loud. I feel like Julian would be able to understand this. They could make it work out. Build each other up. Definitely a slow burn.

•both great with kids imo

•Julian doctors them

Nadia x Muriel:

•Regal vs homy

•showing each other the way that they live their lives and getting a better understanding of the world because of it

•drink tea together

•support Vesuvian artists together

•minds his boundaries

•build each other’s confidence

•definitely gives this touch starved boy some affection

•they would raise the most amazing heir to the throne

•she has more than enough family to replace the one that Muriel never got and her sisters are thrilled

Portia x Muriel:

•Portia being fiercely supportive of Muriel

•she’d convince him that it’s okay to use his strength

•their lifestyles match the best out of anyone in the game making them affectively the most domestic couple

•Portia is so observant of Muriels feelings

•their children would be SO well rounded

•just imagine them bumping into each other several times and Portia being like “I can’t wait to see him again he seems interesting” only to forget him each time

•just Muriel as a dad

•they want a future

•stay at home dad

•probably only one kid because birth is a bitch

•would pamper Portia so much after a long day

Nadia x Julian:

•both very physically affectionate

•Nadia kinda treated MC as a pet and Julian is subby af soo it kinda just works

•support each other in their endeavors. Julian supports her tinkering and Nadia supports his experiments

•make Julian a blushy mess

•also, Julian is so thoughtful and gave her a Netipot to help with her congestion and they would be so great

•connected to the people more and Julian definitely knows and can make ideas to help impoverished areas

•Julian knows about the crime that goes on in the city and he could probably help work out a way so that less people get hurt without restricting the rights of the people

•always checking in on each other making sure they don’t overwork and overwhelm themselves and they both now how to wind down 😏

Asra x Julian:

•not one of my favorites but as confirmed exes this ship is a worthy mention

•very playful relationship I feel like

•much more sexual than a lot of other ships

•expand each other’s understanding of the world

•keeps Julian from overworking

•with the flashback of talking about how “Julian has it all wrong MC is my one true love” it makes me feel really weird like Asra is using him.

•kinda tainted by the fact that I don’t like Asra

•but hey. Julian IS a masochist and Asra sees no problem giving him what he wants.

•Asra probably feels guilty after a long kinky night. Julian would be wonderful at aftercare

•showing Julian a whole new world. Also, is it just me or does Julian have ADHD I know he has issues with volume control and oooo buddy so do I

Portia x Nadia:

•everyone is already 1000% on board with this one but I’m gonna cover it anyway

•best friends to lovers is GREAT

•they will do amazing running the kingdom together. They’re both so highly respected and aghdjbs

•Portia will make it so much easier for Nadia to remember the people

Muriel x Asra:

•very quiet

•best friends to lovers

•They wouldn't have kids and they’re both fine with that

•they understand each other and talk things out and they’re healthy and wholesome!

•they would babysit Nadia and Portia’s kids

Portia x Asra:

•honestly, I would feel so betrayed if they were together

•I wanted Portia T~T

•how dare y’all be so cute and wholesome

•it starts as mutual respect and evolves

•Portia learns how to use magic

•Mazelinka teaches Portia stuff too

•Mazelinka would be so proud and would love her new kid/son in law

•Portia would LOVE the adventure into magical realms with Asra

Asra x Nadia:

•I don’t get it

•but! I’m all about those *rare pairs*

•Asra would LOVE all the outfits feeling so secure in the neutral clothing

•loves to make grand entrances to spook the guards

•now the government has royalty on its side

•Asra would trust Nadia to tell them if there was ever anything wrong

•spa day! Would LOVE to pamper each other

•they respect each other so much and I absolutely adore their banter

Lucio x Julian:

•doesn’t work with the canon

•Julian just ain’t into Lucio darling

•But~ I love entertaining these ship ideas.

•Nadia is going to keep the throne so if Lucio got his body back another way Julian could show him life from his perspective

•they face their mistakes together and learn that they don’t have to hate themselves to atone for them

•Build each other up!

•the two least magical idiots in love how... magical!

•tripping over each other because they both wanna be the knight in shining armor

Volta x Muriel:

•smol and large

•both believe themselves to be monstrous

•embrace the gluttony

•affectionate couple

•both shy

•Volta clings on and they grow affectionate towards one another

Nadia x Valerius:

•apologizes and confesses feelings for Nadia

•wine and tea

•he improves as a person

•bond over their terrible shared ex

•they learn together to let their guard down even in front of those they lead

•you don’t always have to be regal and refined

Nahara x Julian:

•honestly I just want Nahara to become a Devorak

•fight and sail together

Nahara x Portia:

•y’all know that thing

•gayyyyy

•warriors through and through

•travel everywhere

•honestly not the types to settle down

Julian x Natiqa:

•I just like their banter

•they’d get into so much trouble together

Nazali x Julian:

•they really respect each other

•maybe bad ship with the age gap butI think it’d be wholesome

•I guess I like Julian and royalty ships 🤷‍♂️

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