#HERC UP INSTEAD. AND HERC KNOWS HE IS GOING TO BE HER SECOND CHOICE ANYWAY BUT HE STILL LOVES HER OK? AND THEN LINDAS LIKE SORRY MAN | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

flynn-science · 5 years

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Ryan Reacts to Kingdom Hearts 3

Okay, so this is a mix of live reactions and post-world reactions. Lot of live reactions in the beginning and end, more sporadic in between. You can probably guess what I’m reacting to most of the time from the sequence of events.

Mmm dat orchestral Don’t Think Twice Needed a minute on the menu. Finally seeing it say KH3 was A Lot. HOLY FUCK WHAT A COOL INTRO The speed is the same as 0.2, with that sprint that kicks in. Will take some getting used to. The stained glass looks gorgeous though Nice touch of KH1 Sora’s jump animation changing to KH2 Sora’s Making choices again like the original. Vitality is probably health, Wisdom is probably magic, and Balance is, well, balanced. I’ll go balanced. (I’m on Proud, btw) Guardian, Warrior, Mystic. Same as the weapons in KH1. In that case, I’ll make the same choice I do there: Guardian. SORA HAS AN IDLE ANIMATION OH MY GOD BLOCK AND DODGE FROM THE START! Also this sky place is new for a Dive to the Heart (AND THOSE HOOOORNS, LISTEN TO THEM) The water looks great A four-hit combo instead of the usual three? Huh Scan from the start too Nice detail of Sora’s head angling towards the locked on target All this music sounds SO GOOD I’MMA NEED THIS SOUNDTRACK ONCE I’M DONE Ahhh that little soft version of Sora’s theme WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS KINGDOM HEARTS II.9 SHIT These Instagram-style posts on loading screens are adorable Oh damn, we get a LOT of abilities from the start. And this is on Proud! Dodge Roll, Air Slide, Aerial Dodge (formerly a Master Form ability), plus all the Flowmotion stuff Wow, THREE shortcut menus! 12 total! Wow, and a LOT more control over how allies use items. That can be very useful! Sweet, synthesis materials are back! Water is an interesting new spell. And being able to reorder the Magic menu is nice (though I only use shortcuts). Kinda glad the item art has stayed the same. Also hey, Wellspring is from BBS. And first AP Boost of course goes into Sora, as will they all. WOW USING THOSE IS WAY FASTER NOW Yooo that Underworld music with the Titans’ appearance Take a shot every time someone says “Sora, Donald, Goofy” Sora, Donald, Goofy counter: 1 HERCULES HAS JOINED THE PARTY “Team Effort: Always start battles with a team attack command.” Damn, what are those that this ability is FIFTY AP?! (Are team attacks that move we saw Sora and Goofy do in a trailer? The throw?) I like that tutorials are playable at any time Also I was worried Save Points might not return with that auto save message at the start ALSO THIS IS NIGHT OF FATE PLAYING IN THE COMBAT TUTORIAL Ooh, Panacea art is nice. (Panacea has only appeared as a command in games like BBS and re:coded, so it hasn’t had art before) *reads Ability Ring* Damn, if 10 AP is a SMALL boost, I can’t imagine how expensive abilities are gonna get (well, Herc does have that one 50 AP ability) Ultima Weapon returns, looks like Synthesis recipes are based more on collector’s goals than finding them. Looks like there’s 60 synthesis materials, sounds about right. Ooh, synthesis item rarities, types: soothing and pulsing are from BBS, writhing, betwixt, sinister are new. Looks like everything goes in Shards, Stones, and Gems. Ooh that’s a lot of Heartless. Hey when is Jiminy gonna show up? Gonna need to complete that Journal again. Oooh battle music has bits of the old Coliseum battle music. Sora, Donald, Goofy counter: 2 Environmental fire damage followed by Sora’s butt on fire limiting my actions. Neat. Okay, these have been live reactions so far, but I’m gonna stop doing that because it’s slowing my progress. “What the heck is Rage Form?” “OH. OH THAT’S A THING.” I keep seeing hidden Mickeys, I bet those are gonna be a thing with the camera once I get it. Also damn are they giving me a lot of ingredients for the cooking minigame I can’t play yet. So the biggest thing I’ve noticed about the new combat is that because they give you so many really powerful abilities (grand magic at higher levels, formchanges, attractions, team attacks) that are all basically free (are you hitting things with your keyblade or magic? Can you hit this specific enemy once? Can you wait for your teammate to give you a prompt?), the number of enemies in each fight seems to have SIGNIFICANTLY increased from previous entries. KH2’s level design this is NOT. Lots more nooks and crannies to search. Me approaching the gates of Olympus: “Is this Anor Londo?” Yay nostalgic Coliseum music! And oooh little environmental puzzles are back! Like from KH1! I forged Goofy a new shield! Aaaand playable Riku. I have no idea why they were so dodgy about the second playable character. This is only the third time Riku’s been playable. Anyway, gotta fight the Demon Tower again. Damn, Riku is WAY stronger than Sora right now. Wish I could have read his abilities (and moved shortcuts). Nice emulation of the death screen. Also hot damn, is that Repliku talking??? I guess Riku’s “other me” really could be Repliku. Awwwww yeah, Lea’s getting new clothes too! YEAH JIMINY! “Dream Heartbinder” So Heartbinders must be this game’s summon gems, and this one lets me use Dream Eaters. SORA’S THEME IS THE RINGTONE!!! Ienzo’s here, with a bit of OrgXIII music from CoM. HOLY SHIT THE GUMMI SHIP IS THE BEST IT’S EVER BEEN UPGRADEABLE KEYBLADES?! I guess that makes sense, considering they all have different formchanges. They want all of them to stay viable throughout the game. OH MY GOD, DEMON TIDE HAS SO MUCH HEALTH I guess the bosses have to with all these powerful attacks I have Does Hayner have a new voice? Olette sounds different too. Checked the wiki, all three have different actors. Pence sounds closest to his original though. So judging by the Dusks and Snipers, no more enemy-specific reaction commands. The Ducklings sell Gummi blocks now?? Huh. Whoa wait, the road out of Twilight Town’s Tram Common leads back to the world map? Can I NOT go to the clock tower in this game?? Man, Twilight Town felt really small. Hope the remaining worlds don’t, though they’ve certainly seemed significantly larger than the two I’ve been to so far. Also, totally called the Lucky Emblems, though I’m gonna keep calling them hidden Mickeys. I think Tou Story is my favorite world. Granted, I’ve only been to three, but still. The Gigas are super fun, Woody and Buzz look amazing, and I can’t stop whistling/humming along! AHHH CREEPY DOLL Lol, the Verum Nox poster even has a Square Enix logo. First death, the Gigas battle in the video game. GOD DAMN! WOODY dropping an amazing “The Reason You Suck” speech to Xehanort! “Unless you’re in the ~real~ Organization too? Good for you!” Damn, Sora! Also love hearing that music from Chain of Memories every so often Glad flowmotion’s jump isn’t as level-breaking as it was in DDD. Same goes for the attacks. Wow, so Rapunzel permanently leaves the party. Was wondering they’d just give her a different moveset like with Mulan/“Ping”. This is the first time a character permanently leaves your party. And of course, Marluxia. Who I didn’t think could or would return. And Vexen who rejoined willingly, which is, man. Not something I’d have done. Both Norted of course. And was Saïx missing his scar? Maybe he’s just Isa now. I could tell it was Unversed, and Flood specifically, in that first Monstropolis cutscene just from the sound of them spawning. That’s how I know I’ve put a lot of hours into this series. Monstropolis feels the most linear so far. Arendelle’s ice labyrinth is awesome, the level design gives me some light Dark Souls vibes. I like how there’s zero explanation for Sora, Donald, and Goofy being able to breathe underwater in The Caribbean. And by that I mean I would have liked even just one line to explain it. The ship combat isn’t as good as AC3’s and AC4’s, but it’s still pretty good for a one-world mechanic! The ship is a LOT more responsive than the AC ones. And damn, is this world open. Okay, San Fransokyo is gonna be a pain to search for chests and Mickeys. PRESS TRIANGLE TO SORA IS THE BEST REACTION COMMAND I HAVE EVER SEEN Jiminy telling people about summaries on the gummiphone is Square Enix saying “IF YOU DIDN’T PLAY THE GAMES, READ THE FUCKING SUMMARIES” Giant battle at the start of Keyblade Graveyard was cool, but hurt the frames, especially on the fake shadows. And just as I was getting hyped at the possibility of having Riku and Aqua as party members. Oh hey, just realized Riku’s keyblade has a Mickey keychain now too. “And so, as legend foretold, darkness prevailed and light expired...” “Your hearts will be torn from your bodies” “To move through time, you must leave your body behind.” THE FINAL WORLD?! Wait, Sora’s been here MULTIPLE times?? Okay, so the star talking about the person who’d miss them, whose heart has been taken by another’s? Strelitzia? Talking about Lauriam? Love and hate? Going back for fight after fight? Hm. Cloud or Sephiroth maybe? (Longshot, but it doesn’t sound like a khux character, or anyone else) Identical pair? There’s no twins in this series. Like walking alongside a mirror... maybe it’s not an literal identical nature? Same clothes, same food, maybe Xion?? “Nothing left to teach you”? Damn, that’s not much to go on. Maybe Eraqus’ and Xehanort’s master?? “Just friends... stepped back” Skuld maybe? “I’m gone... they’ve added another member” Could that be Xion? Wait, no, how could Xion be here, she’s still within Sora’s heart. Are these actual named characters we’ve met before? Or not? The one who was defeated and supposed to fade... Repliku?? But he’s with Riku now... Someone searching for their Papa??? Most of the characters in this series don’t have parents at all, so my only guess here is Pinocchio?? No way a Disney character ends up here though. I don’t think all of these are characters we know. Someone holding onto a sliver of memory, and a servant?? Yeah, these could all just have been ordinary people. Naminé?! What happened to Kairi??? Okay, so the darkness split them. KAIRI IS KEEPING SORA FROM FADING AWAY OH MY HEART “GO TO HER” SHE SAYS "That's not the official thank-you!" Lol Damn, this area is fuckin huge, why is it so huge?? A PORTAL?! A DDD PORTAL HERE?! Well this place is rad. I better see that weird Darkside at some point here OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH OH IT ROTATES THAT'S FUCKIN SICK God damn, this game's got some of the best level design of the series! Is... is this OUR Chirithy? “He doesn’t remember the past”? Although I guess it could be Marluxia/Luxord/Demyx’s too. Or Ven’s. My bet is that it’s Ven’s. DID SORA JUST TIME JUMP BACK A FEW MINUTES??? Aaaand did nothing different. So now we’re world-hopping like we did back in End of the World. OH WHAT IS THIS DIVING INTO STATIONS TO PICK A WORLD?!?! YOOOOOOOO Just Kairi and Lea are left. Haven’t hit San Fransokyo or Twilight Town yet. Guess they must be in those two. Last one is San Fransokyo. Lea must be here. Kairi’s probably gonna be the last. “Traversing hearts to reach worlds” That must be what I’ve been doing here. Not jumping between worlds, jumping between HEARTS. Was Sora just considering telling her he loves her? He should have. Wait, am I back in time? This already happened... OH SHIT! THE LINGERING WILL IS HERE! EPHEMER! OHHHHHHH HO HO WOW! OHHHHHH FUCK! YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Congrats to all the lucky people who got their names in the game! PRESS TRIANGLE TO UNION X GIANT SHADOW MASTER XEHANORT IS TERRIFYING I like how Axel is holding his keyblade by the guard instead of the handle OH SHIT MASTER YEN SID! YOOOOOO! Okay KH3, I want to fight thirteen bosses now, you hear me? DAMN that Ancient Light finisher on Starlight’s Second Form is STRONG YOOOOOOO THREE BOSSES AT ONCE??? (I really hope this is as tough as they were before, but seeing as Xemnas was harder in 1 than in 2, doubt it) Went to help Mickey first, so I’m taking on Marluxia, Luxord, and Larxene Oh come ooooon, I barely got to fight them! Luxord’s out, 12 to go OH SHIT THE OTHER TWO Larxene’s done, 11 to go. With XI conveniently up next. Marluxia’s defeated once again. 10 left. Hey whatever happened with that comment of their ancient keyblade legacy...? Xigbar... might be gone? So maybe 9 left. Dark Repliku is defeated, and light Repliku gave himself up so the Replica could be used for Namine. That’s sweet. 8 left. YO actual time of day change! I like the door switches. Nice having little environmental things like this. Hm, Kairi and Lea one way, Aqua and Ven the other. Well that’s no contest, gotta go back up my girl Kairi! Mysterious new hooded figure??? Oh. Oh no. I think it’s Xion. D: Yeah. It’s her. *Xion stops Xemnas “YEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYYE YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH” *Roxas shows up “OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK” THE WHOLE GANG’S HERE YOOOOOOOOOOO Shout outs to Ienzo, Ansem, Vexen, and Demyx for helping Roxas return! WHY THE FUCK IS KAIRI GETTING KIDNAPPED A-FUCKING-GAIN, NOMURA WHY WAS SHE EVEN TRAINING, FUCK Okay, so Kairi and Lea/Axel are out, BUT ROXAS AND XION ARE IN OH HOLY SHIT, SORA SQUAD FORM UP!!!! I HAD TO STOP AND LISTEN TO THE MUSIC FOR A MINUTE It’s all three of their themes! (Plus a bit of Another Side) THIS IS THE HYPEST SHIT Aww, Saix’s death mirrors Xion’s. AND THE SEA-SALT TRIO REUNITE! Saix is out, 7 left. Xion turned, 6 left. Vanitas fades again, 5 left. I know some people had hoped for a heel-face turn, but I knew it wasn’t likely. WHAT TERRA’S HEART WAS IN ANSEM’S GUARDIAN THIS WHOLE TIME. THAT THEORY WAS RIGHT! Terra-nort’s back to just Terra. 4 left. Just wanna say, I love that it’s Sora who gets to turn the tides of all these fights. Who’s dull and ordinary NOW, huh?? AND he’s still going! Oh boy, time for a triple Xehanort fight! UMMM NINE KEYS (but why are they No Name and not the X-blade?) OOOOOOOHHHHHHH THIS BLEND OF ANSEM, XEMNAS, AND YOUNG XEHANORT'S THEMES Guardando Nel Buio, Darkness of the Unknown, and Impeto l’Oscurito 1V3 ME, I'LL TAKE YOU ALL ON Young Xehanort returns to his time. 3 left. I like how we all agree to pause the fight whenever someone falls. Xemnas fades. 2 left. Ansem as well. Just 1 darkness left. WHAT THE FUCK, KAIRI NOOOOOOOOOOOO AH SHIT HE’S GOT THE X-BLADE AH SHIT HE’S GOT KINGDOM HEARTS Oh hey, everyone’s caught up. Donald: “You can’t do anything without us, Sora.” Me: “Donald, shut the FUCK UP.” Xion: “Kairi will be alright.” Me: “OH THANK GOD” Scala ad Caelum. Stairway to Heaven. It looks like a proto-Land of Departure. But the music is Case of the Foretellers from X Back Cover. Could this place and Land of Departure once have been Daybreak Town? Damn, Dark Kingdom Hearts is over the ENTIRE Keyblade Graveyard now Spooky twelve figures are spooky Why do they have the Organization’s weapons?! I love this return of Destati though They all had a shared HP bar? Scala ad Caelum’s world icon is kinda shaped like a heart Oh wow, full Inception Weird hearing Rage Awakened without the Lingering Will here “There is one sky, one destiny!” “DEEEESTAAAATI!” Ohhhhh shit Shout out to the heart in the floor design though And the figure in the middle has 7 points Classic Xehanort pose from the KH2 secret ending Aaaaand now he’s got ANOTHER Kingdom Hearts! GREAT WHOA HE FORCED ME INTO RAGE FORM DESTATI IN FULL FORCE WHAT A RAD FINISHING BLOW! The canon death screen, the heartbeat, Donald and Goofy calling from my controller! ONE BIG BLAST! So Xehanort sees himself as some sort of white knight? A templar to guide the masses with an iron fist? Yeah, no dice dude. Sora’s right, not your choice to make, and destiny is beyond your control. So Eraqus really WAS with Terra all this time. MARK HAMILL IS BACK!!! Xehanort just hands it over, huh? Wow, closure between Eraqus and his apprentices after all these years Eraqus and Xehanort mimic Sora and Riku from KH2, and pass on. Go get her, Sora. HIKARI ORCHESTRAL Ven met his Chirithy! Lea’s finally wearing his new outfit. Aw, Xion looks good too! And Isa’s here! Naminé is back too! And I bet the Namine/Riku shippers are happy! AWWW They’re all hanging out at Destiny Islands! Look at them all being friends!!! THERE THEY ARE! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

Epilogue: XIGBAR HAS BEEN LUXU THIS WHOLE TIME?! WHAT WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?! You know while watching Back Cover I was like “Man, the Master of Masters really talks like Xigbar for some reason.” BOY DOES THAT MAKE SENSE NOW So what was it about Ava’s role with the Dandelions that led to her absence here? AND WHAT’S IN THE GODDAMN BOX Is it a Book of Prophecies? Something else entirely? In any case, I doubt Maleficent and Pete would be able to get it away from them all. Secret Ending, “Yozora”: Ooh, “Another Side, Another Story” vibes right off the bat. SORA! And... Riku? Well this is just Japan. Wait, the guy from Verum Rex? And a black coat, who’s probably Xigbar/Luxu or the Master of Masters? After watching, a friend informed me that Riku is in Verum Rex. And Sora’s dead. Cause he’s in TWEWY’s version of Shibuya, since that one building said “104.” But which one is the black coat in? It could be the Master of Masters dead, in Sora’s world. Or Xigbar/Luxu, still watching things.

I have no idea what comes next. But I am excited.

#kingdom hearts 3 #kh3 #kh3 spoilers #kh spoilers

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hamilton-one-shots · 6 years

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Hamilton High School AU 36

When he woke up hours later, Alexander groaned and sat up, feeling bloated from the pizza and overall, just gross. "John?.." He tried shaking him away. "John?.." He looked over and saw that he was shaking a pillow. He frowned and looked around, finding a note on the nightstand in John's handwriting.

[Hey, Alex. If you're reading this, I'm not at the apartment. I left to make sure my siblings were back home and okay and I'm going to make them some dinner. I left at 5 and I should be back no later than 6. If you want something specific for dinner, please text me to tell me. Otherwise, please text me anyways when you're awake and let me know how you're feeling. I'll explain everything that I know when I get back. I love you <3]

Alexander tutted and looked at the time. 5:48. At least he'd be back soon. He grabbed his phone and texted him. [hey] [im awaek] [awake*] [miss u] Then he figured that he at least owed Aaron a thanks. [hey] [im ok] [thnx 4 2day] [rly] [oew u big time] He sighed and put his phone in his pocket, then quickly took it back out. "What?.." He threw back the covers and gasped in horror at the warm, wet patch spread across the mattress. It couldn't exactly be helped with the drugs in his system, but still.. Did it have to be in John's bed?.. He got up and stripped the sheets off of the bed before stripping off his wet clothes and heading to the bathroom, taking a quick shower. He put on some of John's clothes and put a new set of bed sheets on the bed before taking the rest downstairs to the building's shared washing machines.

Aaron was the first to respond to the text messages. [I'm glad to hear that.] [Thomas didn't have anything to do with it, by the way. It was Jay.] [He got the drugs from Thomas, but he only gave them to him to get rid of. He said he never was going to use them on you.] [But I don't blame you if you don't believe me.]

John responded soon after. [I miss you too. I'll be home soon, I promise <3] [Do you want anything in particular to eat? I'll make you whatever you want whenever I get home.]

Alexander smiled and went to the group chat, figuring the rest of his friends would want to know he was okay.

[John's Bitch: hey] [John's Bitch: i lived] [John's Bitch: kinda] [John's Bitch: evrythin is sore] [John's Bitch: but im ok]

[Kitty Mom 🐱: Thank goodness! I was so worried about you! 😫]

[MamasBoi: thank fuck] [MamasBoi: what happened?? Jefferson?]

[John's Bitch: idk] [John's Bitch: i dnt thnk so] [John's Bitch: i dnt trst jay]

[Kitty Mom 🐱: I hope you feel better soon. Are you guys still up for the party tonight?]

[OhMyGod:*: Not sure.]

[Kitty Mom 🐱: Maybe we should reschedule?]

[OhMyGod:*: Not if it'd be too much trouble. Its more Alexander's choice.]

[John's Bitch: no its cwl] [John's Bitch: ur mom jst caem home] [John's Bitch: we shoud selebr8]

[MamasBoi: you sure?] [MamasBoi: At least take it easy with drinks 😜]

[John's Bitch: wil do] [John's Bitch: no intenshons of goin loopy] [John's Bitch: ..agen]

[Kitty Mom 🐱: Its fine <3 I'm just glad that you're okay.] [Kitty Mom 🐱: I'll snag that vodka bottle from your room.] [Kitty Mom 🐱: Hey, with that and all of the other alcohol around, there's no doubt that John will get wasted! : D]

[OhMyGod:*: Why are you so happy for that?]

[Kitty Mom 🐱: Maybe seeing you act like an idiot will help him feel better! : D]

[OhMyGod:*: Wow...] [OhMyGod:*: Glad I can help.]

[Kitty Mom 🐱: <3 <3 <3]

John finally showed up as Alexander sat by the dryer and wrapped his arms around him, kissing his cheek. "Hey, I was so worried about you..."

"I'm okay.. Just a bit off.."

"Okay.. What are you doing down here?"

Alexander hesitated to respond. "I... I wet the bed.. I just woke up and.. Yeah... But I changed the sheets and everything.. I'm sorry.."

"I'm not upset or anything. I know you couldn't help it."

Alexander nodded, though he was still embarrassed by the fact.

John held him close. "I'm going to kill Jay on Monday.. I don't know what he was planning on doing, but he used the date-rape drug on you.."

"He was acting funny since I got in the car.. Something about being my resident John and getting Jefferson there and buying my drinks.. I should've seen it.."

"You couldn't have known. Those things are meant to be undetectable.. You're okay now and that's what matters..."

Alexander looked up at him. "Everything was blurry and bright and scary.. But you came and I knew everything was going to be okay.." He smiled.

John kissed his cheek and smiled. "Of course. You know there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. I love you so much.."

Alexander couldn't help but blush. "I'm so lucky to have you.. Even when you make me eat my body's weight in pizza," he chuckled. He remembered pretty much everything from the past few hours.

John rolled his eyes playfully. "Yeah, yeah. Why don't we take the sheets and your clothes upstairs, then get ready for the party?"

"Sounds like a plan."

John grabbed everything from the dryer once it went off, then took it upstairs. He gave Alexander his clothes and folded his sheets, then left with him and walked to Herc's place.

When they got there, Sarah greeted them with a wide smile. "Ally! It has been too long!" She pulled him into a tight hug before taking a second to look at him. "You've gained some weight, I see! That's great!"

Maybe the others may not have noticed it as much, but it was definitely true. Compared to just a week ago, Alexander didn't look nearly as frail, though he did feel like his eyes would pop out of his skull if Sarah hugged him like that again.

"Are you calling me fat?" he teased, causing her to roll her eyes.

"Oh, hush." She smiled and turned to John. "Martha was such a little lady earlier, John. She insisted on helping clean before leaving. She's so mature."

John nodded. "That's Martha for you."

Sarah smiled and led them to the living room where Lafayette and Hercules were sitting on the sofa, already with drinks in their hand and shot glasses on the table.

"Hey, guys," Hercules greeted. "Come join us." The game in front of them was a Snakes and Ladders board modified for other purposes. Most spaces without a snake or ladder occupying it had an instruction written in instead.

John sat down with them and took the dice as Lafayette handed them to him. He chose a game piece and rolled the dice, moving as the dice instructed. He landed on a blank piece and tutted, giving the dice to Alexander. "Want to play?"

"Yeah, sure." He rolled the dice and on 'Down your drink'. "Ha! Stupid game, I don't have a drink ye-" He cut himself off as Hercules pushed his glass of Guinness in his direction. "Gee, thanks. Herc-germs." He picked up the glass and downed it's contents. The glass had only been half full and the drink wasn't particularly strong, so it was no mystery as to why he gave him that one.

Lafayette took his turn next, rolling the dice and landing on 'Everyone Takes a Shot'. He grinned and poured some of the vodka that he'd snagged from Alexander's room into the shot glasses that surrounded the table.

Alexander almost wanted to protest, but he did practically drink all of Laf's wine last time they'd gotten drunk. It was only fair. He took his shot and watched as Hercules took his turn, landing on a blank spot before handing John the dice.

John rolled the dice and moved his piece, also landing on 'Down Your Drink'. Before he could make the same joke as Alexander, Lafayette poured a glass of wine for him. "Thanks for the girly drink," he joked, knowing how strong the drink really was as it scorched his throat. "Christ, Laf."

Alexander watched and felt memories flood back of last time. He grabbed the sharpie from the table and scribbled untidily on a few of the blank tiles 'Kiss BF'.

Hercules chuckled. "Someone's trying to say something."

"Shut up." He rolled the dice and moved his piece, landing on 'Next player takes a shot'. "There you go, Laf."

He shrugged and downed the shot like it was nothing, taking his turn and landing on a blank space.

While Hercules took his turn, John turned to face Alexander with a cheeky grin. "If you wanted a kiss, all you had to do was ask." He cupped Alexander's face in his hands and pressed his lips to his in a loving kiss.

Alexander let his eyes fall shut as he kissed back, intoxicated by the taste of the wine on John's tongue. He only pulled away when Hercules cleared his throat to get their attention. "What? Is it my turn?"

"No, Casanova, it's where I landed." He pointed at the 'Choose a player to take a shot' written on the tile.

Alexander tutted and poured himself a shot, then downed it. He was certainly starting to feel a light buzz, though he could've sworn that it was more from the taste of John's lips than of any alcohol he drank.

John watched him, in a love struck daze until Lafayette got his attention.

"Your turn, John."

"Yeah, yeah." He took the dice and moved, grinning as he landed on 'Kiss BF'. Perfect. He turned to Alexander and pulled him into a passionate kiss, not pulling away until he was out of breath. "How was that for a kiss?" he asked with a cheeky grin as he dropped the dice into Alexander's palm.

All that escaped Alexander was a strained squeak. He blushed and rolled the dice, lazily rolling them across the board and landing on another 'Down Your Drink' tile. He tutted and downed a glass of wine, though he thought it was too good to waste like that.

"Maybe you should skip a few turns.." Hercules suggested. After all, it wasn't like Alexander hadn't just gotten date raped. Still, Alexander made them promise not to bring it up, so he threw in a joke for good measure. "Otherwise, you'll be borrowing condoms before you get up the stairs."

Alexander shot him a playful glare, but it worked.

It worked for John, too. He went quiet for a second. "Maybe I should skip a few turns, too.."

Hercules cursed himself for that comment and cursed the alcohol for making him lose his ability to censor his thoughts.

Lafayette shifted everyone's focus back to the game, taking his turn and landing on a blank space.

Hercules went next. Another blank space. They went back and forth like that for a minute until Alexander piped up.

"Don't you have anything else to fill the spaces with?"

"Do you have anything in mind?" Hercules asked, offering the sharpie.

"Maybe.." He wrote on a few more blank spaces 'text'.

"Text?" Lafayette asked.

"Yeah. You choose someone and give them your phone and they choose anyone to text."

"Very evil. I like it." Hercules nodded in approval before offering John the dice.

"Sure." He smiled a bit and took the dice, rolling them. Of course, he landed on 'text'. He pulled out his phone and pondered his choices. "Let's see... Lafayette is embarrassing just being Lafayette, Hercules has no filter when drunk, and Alexander is Alexander.." He gave Alexander his phone.

Alexander rolled his eyes and went through his phone, already knowing exactly who to text. [madison, if u had a kid nd maed them angery, wud they be ur mad son? pls respond. v importnt.] Alexander handed back John's phone, like he hadn't just text James the most god awful pun. It wasn't long before he got a reply.

[...I came out of a movie with Dolley to answer this.] [Damn it, man.]

John chuckled and responded. [Lol, so sorry dude] [We're playing a game and I had to let Alexander text anyone he chose] [And he chose you] [So sorry :' )] "Where would I be without my jealous boyfriend tormenting my business partner?"

"I don't know what you mean."

Lafayette took the dice and took his turn, landing on another 'Take a shot' tile. He downed the shot with ease and passed the dice to Hercules, who took his turn and landed on 'Everyone takes a shot'. Everyone downed their shot, then John took his turn.

He landed on another 'Take a shot' tile and did just that, feeling the alcohol mess with his system. He sighed contently and leaned into Alexander.

Lafayette smiled at the dorky drunk and took his turn, landing on 'Person on your right takes a shot'. he poured a shot and passed it to Hercules along with a kiss on the cheek.

Hercules smiled and downed the shot, feeling the same buzz that John was. "Dia, tá tú chomh álainn, leanbh..." ("God, you are so beautiful, baby ...") he muttered in Irish.

"Slow those flirty tones, son," Hugh chuckled from the kitchen.

John snorted with laughter and took his turn, landing on a blank space.

Alexander, despite Herc's warning, took a turn and landed right on a 'text' tile. Like John, he ruled out Hercules immediately and ended up giving his phone to John, figuring it was only fair. "Go easy on me, won't you?"

"Maybe." He giggled and went through his phone. [Hey, Aaron. Thanks for helping me with club stuff, but don't get too friendly. I have an amazing boyfriend, after all 💗]

It didn't take long for him to respond. [Hmm... Judging by the mainly correct grammar, I'm assuming this is that amazing boyfriend.]

John giggled. [You caught me : P]

Aaron responded. [Okay. No need to get jealous.]

[Just a warning : )]

"And I'm the jealous boyfriend?" Alexander asked with a chuckle.

John ignored him and cuddled into Alexander's stomach. "My baby.." he hummed.

[jons v. drunk] [lmao] [dw: ur not my tipe anywai ;)]

[Now it makes sense. John's a very sensible person when sober.] [And you'll be glad to know that you're not my type in the slightest.]

[rude]

John whined and grabbed Alex's wrist, taking his hand and putting it against his cheek. "I'm amazing, too.."

Alexander felt a pang of guilt. Ironically, he'd only been hanging out with Aaron so much because he wanted to make the art department as a surprise for John, but he couldn't very well tell him that. "I'm sorry.." He kissed his hand. "I love you so much, more than anyone."

John smiled and sat up a bit. "I love you too. I'm sorry for being stupid and jealous. Don't feel guilty."

"You're not an idi-" He was cut off by John squishing his cheeks together and giggling sweetly. He was always just melting his heart. When he let go of his face, Alexander smiled and put a hand behind John's head, pulling him down into a hug and holding him close. Nobody was going to hurt him anymore. "You know, I really prefer my guys with curly hair and freckles, anyways."

John smiled and looked up at him, his chin resting on his chest. "I have curly hair and freckles!"

"You do!" Alexander smiled, as if it was some sort of epiphany.

Hercules tutted and leaned against Lafayette. "I'm glad we're not soppy like that. We don't have to be for you to know I love you."

"Of course we don't," Lafayette claimed, though Hercules was just as soppy and silly.

Sarah giggled, looking over at them. They were all so sweet together, so in love, just like herself and Hugh.

Hercules looked over at her and her orange juice. "You're not drinking?" Sarah wasn't a heavy drinker by any means, but she hardly ever passed up a chance to drink with her family.

"No, not tonight."

"Why not? Everything okay?"

"Well, we were going to wait a while longer to tell you, but you're going to be an older brother."

#hamilton #hamilton fanfic #alexander hamilton #john laurens #lafayette #hercules mulligan #sarah mulligan #hugh mulligan #lams #mullette #36 #chapter 36

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aye-fucking-aye · 7 years

Text

A Choice: Hamilton Fanfic (Fem!Reader x Alexander, John, Hercules, and Lafayette) Chapter 4: Close Call

Summary: The boys were your best friends, you loved them. And they loved you. But what happens when their love runs deeper than friendship? Will they manage to suppress their feelings for you or will they be willing to sacrifice their friendship to be with you. Either way, you have to make a choice.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any Hamilton characters, those all belong to the great Lin-Manual Miranda.

Author’s note: It’s done! It’s here! Sorry I made you all wait so long. But here’s the next chapter. I really hope you guys enjoy it. Rated T for lots of swearing. WARNING: mentions of attempted rape here. Please don’t reblog. Anyways, Enjoy!

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After lunch at Laf’s cafe, you made it to his apartment. Now, you all went to go change into some nicer clothes to go to the dance club.

You stripped away your sweaters and took off your booties, looking through Laf’s guest room drawers, where you put your extra clothes, to find an appropriate outfit.

You saw you only had an option of two plain t-shirts, a romper, a pair of light blue jeans, and a dark red body dress. You didn’t want to go all out, so you decided for the black romper, with a wide neckline. You rummage around and could only find a pair of silver wedges in the guest room.

‘Oh well,’ You thought, ‘this will have to do.’

You got dressed and got your bag. Since it was colder out, you decided to see if Laf had a trench coat he could let you borrow.

You got out and saw that you were the second one to finish. Hercules already sitting on the couch with a dark blue button-up with a black tie and some black dress pants to match. There was no beanie on his head.

You cleared your throat to get his attention. Herc looked up and saw you, his smile widening as he saw you were wearing a romper he made you.

“Looking good, angel.” Herc said with a smirk.

“Not so bad yourself, hunk.” You teased back.

He laughed at your silly remark. You both turned when you heard the door open and out comes Lafayette, in a long-sleeved maroon dress shirt, with gray skinny jeans.

Herc whistles at Laf. “Yo, you’ve been using the tips I told you, Laf!” He exclaimed.

“Oui, turns out you were right. Gray does look better on me than blue.” Laf responded. He turned to look at you.

“Mon chéri, you look exquisite.” Laf complimented you.

You kindly thanked him for his compliment, then remembered to ask him to borrow a trenchcoat. He happily agreed and told you to pick any out of his closet. Except for the dark purple one, he borrowed that one from a friend.

You thanked him again and headed over to Laf’s room. On your way over there, you passed another guest room and heard some yelling going on inside.

“Just wear it, Alex! We don’t have time for your tantrums!” You heard John yell.

“Dude! You know I fucking hate purple. No way, I’m going out in that. Especially in front of Y/N!” Alex yelled back.

“Dude, it’s the only thing I have, either you wear this or you wear nothing. Make your damn choice.” John yelled again at Alex.

You heard Alex let out a very annoyed sigh. “Fine! Give it to me!”

“Finally! Was that so hard?” John said.

“Shut up and get out.” Alex snapped back.

You laughed quietly and leaned away from the door. John opened the door and got out. He was surprised to see you, but quickly put a smirk on.

“Well, hello pretty lady. Did you hear our friendly conversation?” John asked.

You nodded and asked, “What’s up with Alex?”

John scoffed at the mention of his name. “The dumbass only left dirty clothes here, except for a pair of jeans. He didn’t have a shirt, so I let him borrow the only other dress shirt I had here, since he can’t fit in any of Laf’s or Herc’s clothes. The problem was that it was purple and you know how Alex feels about purple.”

You laughed at John’s story and he joined in. After you calmed down, you took the chance to look at John’s attire. Black jeans with a short-sleeved, peach-colored button-up.

l”You look good, you don’t always wear this color.” You said as you reached forward to fix his collar.

John beamed at your compliment and took the hand before you could pull away. He brought it up to his lips and said, “You look way better, babygirl. You always do.”

You blushed a bit, stunned by his sudden action. You only nodded back and took your hand away, before scurrying away, telling John that you needed to get a coat from Laf.

He smiled as he saw you enter Laf’s room. Proud that he got you to blush again. He turned and went to the living room, where the other two were waiting.

Inside Laf’s closet, you carefully looked through the coats he has. You ended up picking a cream-colored coat and headed out the room.

When you opened the door, you saw Alex exciting from the guest room as well. He turned and saw you before squealing a bit and looking down in embarrassment.

You giggled softly and looked at his outfit. He wore fitted, blue jeans and a purple, short-sleeved button-up. The sleeves seemed a bit bigger, but it looked good on him.

“That’s a nice color on you, Alex. You look better in it than Jefferson.” You said to him, in order to cheer him up.

He looked up surprised and with a redder face. “R-really? Uh- I mean (cough) I know. Jefferson has terrible taste in fashion.” Alex says.

You roll your eyes and link you arm with his, heading over to the rest of the guys.

The guys all got their coats and headed outside, where a cab was waiting to take you all to the club.

After you all arrived at the club, somehow managing to fit in one cab, you headed for drinks.

“The first round is on me guys, I fuckin needed this,” you exclaimed, trying to flag down the bartender. The guys hooted at your offer.

The first round was easy, but after five rounds, you were starting to be a bit ditzy. You were fairly good with your liquor, beating John and Herc, but you were no match for how well Lafayette can hold his alcohol. Alex was, surprisingly, good with alcohol too.

You had the best time, laughing and dancing with the guys. It was something you all needed. It soon got out of control when Laf kept buying more and more shots.

“C’mon, Y/N, come and take another shot with us!” Laf said.

“Oh my god, Laf! This is like- like the thirty-thith shot! I’m (hiccup) about to blackout!”You said giggling.

Alex looked at you and laughed. “Don’t you dare throw away your shot, Y/N! You wanted to come to the club, now raise a glass to your freedom from the prissy pop star and drink!”

You stood up and in one swift motion, chugged the whole drink down. You slammed the glass down and put your hands up. They guys all cheered and clapped.

“There ya go you assholes, now I’m gonna get a glass of water. I’m getting a headache.” You said, as you grabbed your bag and headed for the bar.

“Get me one too, please!” You heard Herc yell after you. You only threw a thumbs up in response, not looking back.

You tried to waver through the crowd of dancers to get to the bar, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. Everyone was pushing and bumping into you. It was starting to get harder to breathe. You almost made it to the bar, when a hand grabbed your wrist roughly and pulled you back to the dance floor.

‘What?’ You thought as turned and saw a young man, with blue eyes and a sleazy smile holding tightly on your wrist.

“Excuse me, sir, can you please let go of my fucking wrist?” You spatted out.

The guy looked a bit surprised at your outburst, but only held on tighter. “Come on baby, don’t be like that. I can tell you like a good time, and baby, I can give you a good time.” The guy said, pulling you closer.

You pushed away as best as you could in your drunken state, but to no avail. The guy only held on tighter and roughly started pulling you away to a more secluded area.

You screamed for the boys, but the club’s music was too loud. The douche pushed you roughly to the wall and gripped your hips.

“You’ve ever been with a king before, baby? Trust me, after this, no one else will measure up.” He harshly whispered against your ear.

You wanted to vomit at his words. The situation was starting to become extremely dangerous for you and you knew that no one will be able to save you. So, with every bit of your strength you kicked the motherfucker in the balls and watched him drop. You gave him one final punch to nose and ran the hell out of there.

You came back to the dance floor and tried to navigate your way towards the boys again. You couldn’t get past the people and were starting to panic, afraid the guy will came back to look for you.

You grabbed your bag and looked for your phone to call the boys to come for you. You couldn’t find it, however, and your stomach dropped as you recalled that you never went back to retrieve it after you heard their secret conversation.

‘Shit, what do I do now?’ You thought.

You were lost and scared. Your mind was too drunk and shocked, over almost being raped, that you couldn’t think of a proper solution. You felt tears escaping your eyes and slid down against the wall, feeling like a complete mess.

It was five minutes later that you felt a pair of hands swiftly try to pull you up. You panicked for a second, thinking it was the blue-eyed rapist, but relaxed to see Hercules instead. You instantly wrapped your arms around him and sobbed.

“Can we go home, please?” You whispered to him.

He only nodded and wrapped his arms protectively around you. He waved over the other boys and yelled out, “Guys, I found her!” They didn’t hear him well, but saw you in his arms and came rushing towards him.

“Y/N! What happened?”

“We were worried!”

“Are you okay?”

Hercules shushed them. “Let’s just go home, guys.” The boys understood and went to grab all their stuff, including yours.

You left the club in a cab, you sitting on Herc’s lap the whole way, and ended up back at your apartment.

Lafayette got the keys and opened it. You stepped inside and sat on the couch. You have calmed down and now had a massive headache.

The guys sat around you and Alex came with a cup of water. He handed it to you and you thanked him and took a sip. You sat in silence for awhile, trying to organize your thoughts.

“Arg, shit. What a fuckin night.” You groaned out.

“Dude, what happened? You were gone for 15 minutes just getting some water.” John asked.

You cleared your throat and explained how some guy on the dance floor grabbed you and tried to rape you. All the guys visibly tensed and had murder in their eyes. You then said how you had to kick him where the sun don’t shine and punched him to escape. You escaped, but because you were still stinking drunk and incredibly shocked about the attack you couldn’t make your way back to them.

“Why didn’t you call us?” Hercules questioned.

“I accidentally left my phone here.” You answered.

You sighed in relief that you were safe now. But one look at the boys made you realize that they were still furious over some ass trying to hurt you.

“I’m going back to the club and I’m beating that bastard down.” Alex exclaimed, standing up.

You shook your head, “Alex, it’s fine. I’m okay, now. Besides I kicked him so hard in the dick, it wouldn’t be a fair fight.”

Alex snickered and sat back down, smiling proudly at you.

“I’m glad you were able to defend yourself this time, but I promise you that I won’t let any other fucker try to hurt you again.” Alex said and pulled you into a hug.

“That goes for you guys too.” Alex said to the rest of the boys.

The guys all protested and laughed, before they joined in the group hug. You smiled at the comfort they gave you.

After the hug, you all stayed up a bit more to watch a film before heading to bed. As you snuggled up with the guys, you couldn’t help but think that you were so lucky to have them with you.

#hamilton the musical #hamilton #alexander hamilton #john laurens #marquis de lafayette #hercules mulligun #don't reblog #alexander hamilton x reader #john laurens x reader #marquis de lafayette x reader #lafayette x reader #hercules mulligun x reader

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sparkyeureka-blog · 7 years

Text

an emotional rant about chuck hansen

because I really need to organize all my tears but every time I try to say any of this to a real person I feel like an idiot, so:

it should first be noted that chuck is an asshole and I sincerely wish someone would punch him directly in the face (thanks raleigh)

but also immediately after give him a hug and tell him it’s okay to be nice to people and maybe kiss his forehead a lil

because I feel like I’m making excuses when I think this but honestly this kid is So Young

I know he’s an adult and all, and I’m not saying he doesn’t have to take responsibility for his actions, but twenty-one is still young enough to be learning

and he spent more time with machines than with his father (the person who’s supposed to teach him to not do, you know, all the things he does) since he was eleven years old

(in the deleted scene he points this out angrily, tears in his eyes, and in the novelization he says it like it’s normal while fondly tapping striker, and I honestly can’t decide which version of this is sadder)

and how can herc expect him to be a good person, “a better person,” when chuck hardly even considers himself all that personlike? herc asks him who he is and the best answer he can come up with is that he’s a ranger, the person who’s going to deliver the bomb into the breach, so much of his identity is tied up in this one thing he does that he can’t even really understand the question

this one thing that he is, admittedly, pretty much the best at, being the youngest ranger ever and having killed a record number of kaiju and all

and a thing that he notably does not seem like he’s doing for fame or glory or anything like that, even though his arrogance suggests he might. every time we see him in a jaeger his focus is on the mission, saving people--when he wants to go into that battle with leatherback and otachi, he wants to do it because he can’t just “sit around and watch them die,” he doesn’t talk about needing to come in and save the day like you might expect him to, he just tells cherno alpha to hold on, they’re coming. to help.

in other words chuck hansen has a really big heart and absolutely no idea what to do with it

outside of a battle, that is, because in battle he can yell out dorky things about their power move and show a little concern for his dad when he’s hurt (and of course he teases him while he does it and herc shoves him off) and enthusiastically cheer on gipsy danger, what, a day after fighting with her pilots? the fight being yet another symptom of this whole big heart thing, really

because chuck is sensitive as hell, his temper proves that, and in another life he’s probably an artist or something but in this one anger is about the only feeling he allows himself to have

because it’s been said he didn’t allow for any distractions, no real social life, no real relationships (not even gonna talk about the very real possibility that this kid died a virgin, which is a shame because in the novelization raleigh literally describes him as “eager to prove himself” and imagine the possibilities)

(although the part where he adds that chuck’s eager to prove himself “even to people who didn’t care” just makes it sad, and sometimes I’d really like someone to punch herc in the face too)

but then there’s herc! who chuck spends a decent amount of time devaluing, at first, saying things like “he’s more my co-pilot” and calling it “my bomb run”

and maybe it’s wishful thinking but imo this is mostly because herc is more important to him than anything else and the best way he has to cope with this (because that’s a scary thing and makes him feel way too vulnerable and maybe a little embarrassed, especially with how broken their relationship is) is acting like he’s not important at all, not in general and definitely not to the mission (basically a suicide run, and it’s easier to claim that as his own than associate it with his father)

the way he disrespects raleigh is just a dick move, of course, but I’d be lying if I said I don’t understand his reasoning--everyone there knows the jaegers are the only chance they have, and the program was in large part shut down because of how many jaegers they were losing because the pilots got themselves destroyed along with the kaiju

and only an asshole says that to a guy who lost his brother doing that very thing, but raleigh called a job done before it was and look at the consequences and can you blame a guy for doubting him on a mission this big

especially when the inevitable trauma from all that can only mean it’s going to be harder for him this time around

it’s probably fair to say jealousy might have something to do with it too, given the look on chuck’s face when herc tells him to have some respect

anyway, moving on, or jumping backwards a little to the battle with leatherback and otachi again, it’s worth noting that there’s no doubt chuck is as hotheaded as they come, but well, he’s his father’s son, and it seems like herc may actually be the more reckless of the two

he’s the one pushing to join the fight first. when striker goes down, he’s the one who disengages first maybe without considering the potential consequences (or just deciding they don’t matter, which, come on), and yeah maybe that had to happen for Plot Reasons, but chuck didn’t have to know better and yell for him not to

(it goes without saying that herc is also the one who thought that somehow they’d be doing better by a city of millions of people if they climbed on top of their unconscious robot and shot little flare guns at the giant monster and got themselves killed, as opposed to getting out of there, which would have about the same effect--that effect being relatively nothing)

(and of course chuck listened to that logic and decided yeah, that checks out, sounds good)

moving on again, and here’s where I start to cry, this final sequence where chuck just casually goes to his death

first of all, there’s something to be said for a guy who can hear that he’s “an egotistical jerk with daddy issues” and then decide that sure, works for him, he has no problem letting the man who thinks this of him inside his head

probably to die together at the bottom of the ocean

chuck hansen is a lot of things and “self-aware” is probably one of them

(in some ways, at least, definitely not others, but I digress)

the look on his face when he’s talking to herc in this moment is?? so different than he’s looked at any point in the rest of the movie? so open, and he is, this is important, when he says don’t, he’s not shutting herc down from saying these things out loud because of some kind of Manly(TM) allergy to emotion

it’s because he knows and he wants his dad to know that he knows, that he knows without him needing to say it out loud now

and saying it like that, that he’s always known, despite the way they act toward each other

(keyword, too, being always, not just since they started drifting together, but always)

like I’m not giving chuck too much credit here but in hansen-speak that’s almost like an apology

and then of course there’s max, and max’s presence speaks for itself and this is so obvious it hurts but this boy! loves his dog!

this arrogant walking advertisement for daddy issues and failed anger management has it in him to crouch down in front of his dog and call him handsome and say he’s going to miss him while he’s heading off to what’s probably going to be his death--like, what does he mean? does he mean he’s going to miss him for the relatively short duration of this mission before he either dies or gets back? does he believe in some kind of afterlife where he thinks one of the prominent features of existence will be missing his still-living dog?

(and the last thing he says to his father is to take care of said dog, and all of this is so much more painful when you take into account that quote about herc and chuck doing most of their communicating via dog and giving max all the love they can’t give to each other)

for some reason the biggest thing that bothers me about the novelization is that when they realize striker can’t deliver the payload, chuck’s line is changed to “we can’t do anything,” when in the movie what he said was “what can we do, sir?”

and that is just such an enormous difference that I can’t stop thinking about it and had to include it here, because chuck doesn’t give up, he doesn’t consider their mission a failure because it’s not going how they planned it, he adapts and says okay, if it’s like this now, how can I help

and the helping is another important thing, goes along with the earlier point about not looking for glory

that for all chuck’s talk about “I’m the guy who’s gonna deliver this bomb,” all of that shit about it being his bomb run, he does not for a second complain about the change of plans, that he won’t be the one

chuck is prepared to die to save the world

and he’s equally prepared to die just to make the assist, to blow himself up just on the hope of clearing a path for mako and raleigh to save the world instead

he’s so prepared he’s the one who starts arming the bomb even before stacker lifts a hand

this is getting way too long but before it’s over it’s time to talk about his last words

first, echoing something his father’s always said--if you have the shot, you take it--there’s so many levels to that, and the first one my mind always jumps to is that he’s reassuring himself

because sure he’s prepared for this, but that doesn’t mean it’s not scary, and what better comfort than something that says this is what dad would do, this is the right thing, he’d approve of this

the second is that he’s reassuring herc

it’s for herc to hear, that he knows what he’s doing, that he’s made his choice, that he’s his father’s son

(it’s something of a cold comfort for both of them, when the last thing stacker hears from his daughter is that she loves him and the last thing chuck hears from his father is silence)

and then there’s “it was a pleasure, sir”

something that always strikes me, because I always expect him to say honor

something along those lines

but no

it’s a pleasure

that’s some word choice there

all this is basically to say that chuck hansen was capable of a lot, things that no one would expect from him like openness and kindness and caring and maybe the maturity to actually show it all one day, but somehow despite all the crazy amazing shit he did do, he never actually realized his full potential

or, as this line in this really awesome fic says, "you can fight and kill kaiju, chuck, but when it comes to people, you're still eleven years old”

because he was too busy fighting a war to grow the fuck up before he ran out of time to do it

did I mention he was twenty-one years old

#pacific rim #chuck hansen #anyway i feel better now #not sure who would actually read this but i had to get it out of my system #and don't get me wrong i love the way chuck's story ended #i could write a whole nother thing on how fucking fantastic his story arc is #and how his death was the perfect way to end it #but this is mostly about why it was such a tragedy anyway #because he died a good soldier and no one ever expected anything else #but did he die a good man? a better person?#the answer is yes #as much as he could without more time #but will anyone remember that?

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fourteenacross · 7 years

Note

lams + "may we meet again"

(the “give me a pairing and a title and I’ll tell you about a fic I’m not writing” meme)

OKAY, SO. This is def a story that’s posted in two parts, “then” and “now.”

update: ugh I kinda want to write this one?

THENWe’re in 1999! As wee bb!nerds, John and Alex attend the same gifted and talented summer camp and end up in the same tent and on the same schedule. It’s one of those places that tries to be academic and prestigious by interspersing actual mini-classes in between canoeing and hiking and campfires, and the two of them are in the same classes. John’s first choice was art, which his father only let him do if he also did debate. Alex’s first choice was debate and signed up late, so he was stuck with art as his second.

It takes about two seconds for them to go from strangers to best friends and they spend the entire summer doing everything together–every class, every lake trip, every hike, every camp out. They perform together in the talent show (rapping something bizarre they made up themselves about camp) and John even lets Alex be his partner for a cooperative art project, even though Alex is shit at art–they come up with a way to blend John’s art with Alex’s words in a way that doesn’t involve Alex mucking up with paint and markers, thank god. They stay up late every night in their tent, talking about their lives and their dreams and what they want to do when they grow up. They get yelled at by their counselors constantly for chatting with each other instead of sleeping or eating or paying attention. People can barely remember that they were total strangers at the start of camp.

But, camp ends eventually and Alex is going back to New York and John is going back to South Carolina and he is positively distraught that they won’t be together all the time any longer. Alex is upset, but a little more resigned–at this point in his life, his dad has left him, his mother and cousin and uncle have died, and his brother hasn’t even bothered to talk to him since they were put in different foster homes. He’s used to losing people. They promise up and down to email and write and stay in contact and maybe Alex can come visit?

The time comes and the kids flying home solo are brought to the airport and the boys hug and John DOES NOT CRY, but maybe he feels a little sick and hot all over as he walks to his gate, profoundly sad. Even his dad letting him choose the music on the drive home from the airport doesn’t cheer him up.

But they do email! For a while, at least! Alexander’s emails are long, rambly things about school and his foster family and politics and the comic books he’s reading. John’s messages are shorter, mostly answers to Alex’s questions and tiny observations about his life. About a year into their correspondance, he starts to think he might be gay and Alex is the first one he comes out to, afraid of what his family and friends will say. Alex comforts him, threatening to beat up anyone who might reject him, and, in a roundabout way, starts to question his own sexuality. (“So, I’m thinking about it and all those reasons you think you might be gay? I kind of feel that way too? But I also still like girls? I’m going to do an internet search on this.”)

The tiny spark of hope that blooms in John’s chest when he gets that email is the very first time that John starts to recognize his GIGANTIC CRUSH ON ALEX that has probably existed since the first day they met.

So there’s a whole other thing to panic about–suddenly, telling his dad and siblings and being disowned is a secondary issue because he likes Alex. Like, a lot. And what if Alex finds out? What if Alex finds out and doesn’t want to be friends anymore?

As it turns out, he doesn’t have long to worry about that–a few weeks later, Alex dejectedly tells John that he’s being moved to a new foster placement and he doesn’t know when he’ll have a chance to write again. And suddenly, John has a third thing to panic about.

“He’s just moving,” Martha tells him. “You guys are best friends, right? Why would he stop writing to you?”

Except…he does. He sends one more message saying that his new placement doesn’t even have INTERNET and he’s going to have to email John AT THE LIBRARY and it’s going to be awful, but he’ll let John know when he’s settled and send his new e-mail address.

So John waits. And waits. And waits.

He holds out hope for six months, and then, one evening over dinner, dad says, “What ever happened to that camp boy you were always talking about?”

And he bursts spectacularly into tears not really befitting a thirteen year old boy as he sobs to his father, “Alex moved and he never emailed me back after and I don’t think he likes me anymore!”

(His father, in comforting him, misinterprets how he means the word “like,” and that’s how John realizes he doesn’t need to come out to his dad because he already sort of figured it out.)

After he calms down, on his father’s advice, he sends one last email out to Alex saying that he misses him and he hopes to hear from him soon and sucks it up and tries to move on with his life.

NOWAnd move on he does! Now we’re in 2016! John’s about thirty, living in New York and doing what would be the starving artist thing if he didn’t have a trust fund. He doesn’t actually need to dip into that money as much as he could, though–he’s…a pretty good artist, as it turns out. He does a lot of picture books–last year he was on a lot of shortlists for the Caldecott medal, though he ultimately didn’t get either an honor or the medal–some freelance illustration, and a lot of stuff just for him. He’s had a lot of failed relationships with both dudes who were shitty and dudes who were decent. He has a solid handful of friends.

He also hasn’t googled Alex’s name in six or seven years, even though he’s thought about it. In college, he started to think more objectively about that whole situation and figured that Alex probably moved to a new placement with no internet, lost John’s email address, and didn’t have access to his old account to get it again. So John decided to try and find him, but, as it turns out, “Alexander Hamilton” is also the name of a professional athlete and it is nearly impossible to weed through those results to find his Alex. He even tries “Alexander Hamilton+lawyer,” since that was Alex’s dream when they were twelve, but nothing comes up except a couple of old white dude lawyers with the same name.

Anyway, it’s a regular Thursday night and he’s on his way to regular Thursday night trivia, where he’s going to meet his best friend Mattie’s new girlfriend, along with a friend she’s dragging alone so John won’t be left out of paired challenges. When he gets there, Laf and Herc are already there and waiting semi-patiently on Mattie and Peggy. They finally hurry through the door and John prepares to say something snarky that dies on his lips.

Because, of course, Alexander Hamilton is trailing after them.

John gets up so fast he knocks his chair over and Alex stops dead where he’s standing when he sees John. They just stare at each other for a minute and John wants to hug him so badly because all of those long ago ~*~feelings~*~ are resurfacing. It’s not that he’s still in love with Alex–it’s more like nostalgia for how it felt to be in love with him. Alex makes the decision for him by snapping out of it and running over and freezing halfway into a hug.

“Uh, sorry–can I hug you?”

“Always,” John says, and they hug and cling to each other and everyone else at the table is severely confused by what’s going on.

They try to explain, but Mattie and Peggy and Alex were so late that the game is starting. About five questions into the first round, John and Alex are so thoroughly distracted from answering questions by catching up that Mattie shoves them out of the huddle to talk while the rest of the team works on actually answering questions. They talk the entire length of the game, catching each other up on their lives. John’s college supposition turns out to be right–Alex lost his email address and, in the old days before everyone used webmail, he couldn’t figure out how to find it again. He even went so far as to call their camp and beg John’s phone number out of the camp director, but that was staunchly against policy.

It turns out that the reason that googling “Alexander Hamilton+lawyer” never got him anywhere is because Alex never went to law school. After college, he took a couple years off to earn money to afford law school and ended up ghostwriting and it turns out he’s really good at it? And it stirred up his desire to write his own books, so he writes other people’s books by day and works on his own at night.

After trivia, they explain the whole thing to their friends, with Mattie making eyes at John the entire time because he’s already spilled the whole story to her over a few drunken college nights. Alex and John exchange phone numbers and immediately start texting each other.

The texting doesn’t stop, of course. They text all day, every day. They start having lunches and dinners and drinks when they can grab them. They immediately slip back into their old inseperable dynamic and John realizes after only a few weeks that his heart has gotten in on the muscle memory game as well. He has a crush on Alex again, or still, or maybe it’s not a crush. Maybe it’s something more. Maybe it’s always been something more.

On one of these lunches, Alex pitches John an idea–he has this novel he’s been trying to sell for a couple years and hasn’t gotten any traction on it. One of his query rejections was actually very kind and detailed and boiled down to the fact that the stoy seems like it would be better served by a visual medium.

“Like a movie?” John asks, confused.

“I was thinking like a comic,” Alex says.

It takes a couple weeks because John is terrified of getting his heart broken by allowing himself to fall in love with Alex and then losing him again, but John eventually gives in, as he knows the whole time that he will. They start collaborating in between their other work, spending late nights at each other’s apartments just sketching and outlining and talking over drinks. They completely abandon the concept of personal space. John is L O S I N G his mind and goes on a lot of shitty dates to get Alex out of his system, except it doesn’t work because he’s still seeing Alex basically every day and still stupidly in love with him.

It all comes to a head when Alex shows up early for a meeting and bumps into John’s one night stand and spends the whole meeting looking like a kicked puppy. John can’t concentrate on getting work done and finally asks what’s wrong. Alex is weird and elusive and leaves at the end of their work stuff and John is just at a loss and also terrified that he somehow (he still doesn’t know how or why!) fucked up this super important part of his life with some asshole he met off Grindr. He’s like one glass into drinking himself to sleep when there’s a knock on his door and Alex is back, looking rumpled and determined.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “That was very unprofessional of me. I shouldn’t have let my feelings affect our work. It won’t happen again.”

John asks him what he’s talking about and he just rambles for a minute about professional life and private life and the history of the eight hour work day and they’re colleagues and he should respect that until John interupts and says, “But before that, we’re friends, right?”

And Alex says, “Of course, of course, definitely we’re friends. And friends are supportive and I’m like, totally supportive of your relationship with that dude.”

And John says, “I don’t have a relationship with that dude, we hooked up off a dating app and I don’t plan to ever see him again?”

And Alex says, “Really?”

And John says, “Yeah? I really only picked him up to get my mind off–”

And catches himself. And they sit there in awkward silence, not looking at each other.

“Work,” John finally says weakly. “To get my mind off of work. And work things.”

“Like colleagues,” Alex supplies.

John closes his eyes. “Yeah,” he admits.

“Like me?”

John opens his eyes and owns it. He has to believe this won’t ruin their friendship if it’s already been this strong after meeting again for the first time in over a decade.

“Yeah,” he says.

And Alex looks like it’s his fucking birthday, beaming, and before John can interpret that further, Alex is in his personal space asking, “Can I kiss you?”

So there’s kissing and undressing and making out and a little light frottage and they stop themselves long enough to mutually admit they had crushes on each other for years and then get on with the undressing and taking the activities to the bedroom.

Exactly zero of their friends are surprised when they show up at trivia holding hands. And, I don’t know, some more plot things happen, they finish their comic, thematically it somehow ties into what’s going on with them, they successfully pitch it to some indie publisher or launch it as a webcomic or something, everyone lives happily ever after, etc.

The end!

#not writing meme #fic by me #sort of #lams #john laurens #alexander hamilton #sorry these are all thousands of words long #i'm sure normal people do them in like ten sentences #whoops

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tainbocuailnge · 7 years

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i dont actually have any preferences to pick for four star, but i already have lancelot, tamamo, and sieg, + a 5star vlad so like... I dont need more berserkers i think. @_@ Who do u recommend? Or who's a rly good support out of the remaining guys?

with that many you definitely won’t need any more berserkers but you’re talking to the monster god here so I’m not gonna tell you you shouldn’t also get herc. out of all the berserkers currently available, including vlad even, herc is going to be and stay useful the most and longest. you really definitely absolutely don’t need him though because early on vlad’s raw stats as a 5* will carry you just as easily and it’s not like he’s weak per se, other zerkers (most of which haven’t been released yet) just tend to be better.

martha is a solid healing support who has carried me very far in her strong saintly arms. she needs her strengthen quests to really shine and those haven’t been implemented yet (and you need to have your servant fully ascended before you can do them anyway) but while your servants are low levelled anyway you won’t really need those upgrades. the strengthen quests up her healing numbers by a lot and also grant her a third skill that gives single target defence down and buff removal which makes her great to bring for bosses later in the game that think they’re hot shit for having a bunch of buffs or debuffs. I’d say martha will be most useful for what you have now since she can help vlad charge his np faster with her 3 arts cards and her party heal also removes debuffs so she can remove tamacat’s stun

liz starts out with a party wide atk buff and gets a single target defence debuff on her first ascension so she’s useful for pretty much any party right away. she later also gains some decent durability through battle continuation, and after her strengthen quests she has one of the most powerful atk buffs in the game for female party members. she once solod the final boss of a high difficulty quest for me you can trust her with your life. pick her over martha if you would rather kill shit harder than avoid being killed.

marie doesn’t offer much in terms of support besides the debuff removal and small heal for your party on her np but she has a LOT of durability thanks to her second skill being protection from arrows on steroids and you’ll want that next to all those glass cannons. you know how people love to praise cu for how hard it is to kill him? marie’s set does roughly the same thing and she has higher base stats backing it up. like I said she doesn’t have much to offer in terms of support though so if you want to focus on your berserkers instead she’s not the first choice

#king of asks #airbun

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isntthisenoughwhatwouldbeenough · 7 years

Text

Not Enough And Everything Pt. 2

A/N: Hello Everyone! Here it is part 2! There will be one more part after this. I'm not too sure if this is all that great but I hardly think anything I write is. Anyways I hope this okay and that you all enjoy this! Oh, and parts of Alex’s letter come from the song I Have Loved You Wrong by The Swell Season, it's a good song in case you want to look it up. As always I wish you all the happiest of days and thank you for reading! . . .

Part Two: Road to Recovery

You woke up to Peggy and Angelica, and for one blissful second you forgot all about what happened with Alex. As soon as you saw the worried, sad looks on your friends faces, it took all you had to not break down again. As soon as they saw the pain in your eyes they rushed to your side, not wanting you to feel alone.

Angelica spoke first, placing a hand on your arm.

“(Y/N), sweetheart, I’m so sorry. We just want you to know that we love you and you’re welcome to stay as long as you want.”

She moves her hand to brush some hair out of your face and gives you a caring smile and you nod try to give a small smile. As you sit up you see Eliza and Maria, enter the living room from their bedroom. Eliza makes her way to you, sitting down next to you and wrapping an arm around your shoulder. You had always been close to all the Schuyler sisters, but you were always closest to Eliza. She was so maternal she always had a way of making people feel comfortable and welcome.

You lean into her, resting your head on her shoulder.

“Do you want some coffee, hon?” she asks you, stroking your hair softly. “And maybe some French toast?” you look up at her and nod your head a small genuine smile gracing your lips for a second. She smiles back at you happy to see the slightest glimmer of happiness in you even if it was just a moment.

As Eliza gets up to make breakfast with Angelicas help, Peggy takes Eliza place. She wraps an arm around you and leans her head on yours, trying to be as comforting as Eliza. “So, it’s Saturday and we can either watch cartoons on tv, watch Disney movies, or binge watch a show on Netflix,” she suggests, you think for a moment.

“Hmm….let’s watch a Disney movie and then binge watch a show on Netflix,” you decide and she nods.

“Well, which movie is it gonna be?” she says as she goes over to the dvds waiting for your choice.

You think it over and decide on Mary Poppins. Peggy puts the movie on and takes her place by your side again, while Maria brings you some coffee and sits on your other side. You quietly thank her and she gives you smile and wink, patting your thigh and snuggling into the couch. The three of you watch the movie silently, until Angelica calls you to the table to eat. Peggy pauses the movie and the three of you make your way to the table. Your stomach growls when you see the spread on the table, scrambled eggs, bacon, fresh cut fruit, and a stack of French toast. The girls laugh at your stomach growling once more and you give an embarrassed smile.

You all serve yourselves and start to eat, and it fills you with comfort despite your aching heart. You remembered this, Saturday breakfasts. Everyone talking about their night or happenings in the week, while laughter was shared. Before Maria lived here, you were roommates with the Schuylers. While the girls chatted around you, you found peace in just eating and listening. Eliza glanced over at you every few minutes to make sure you were eating, and everytime she was satisfied with your appetite. Once you were all finished with breakfast Peggy picked up the plates and took them to the kitchen, while the rest of you make your way to the living room. You snuggle into the corner of the couch, this time Angie coming to sit by your side and offer you comfort. You felt like a child somewhat, but it was nice to be around people who cared so much about you.

Eliza resumes the movie and you all sing along to the catchy songs, and a smile comes to your face as you watch the animated penguins dance along the screen, it was always your favorite part. As the movie ended, Peggy looks at you a twinkle of excitement in her eyes. You furrow your brows, wondering what has her excited.

“We got you a present!” she exclaims, getting up from her seat to go to the front hall closet and pulling out a polka dot bag. She brings it to you placing it in your lap and sits on the coffee table. You look at the rest of the girls, and they all give you reassuring smiles. You take out the tissue paper and the first thing you see is a stuffed bear, you hug it to your chest before looking into the bag again. You take out a pair of fuzzy slipper flip flops, a box of popcorn, your favorite candies, and a pair of incredibly soft pajamas. You look up at your friends again, giving a genuine smile.

“We thought we could have a pajama day and just relax all together today,” Eliza explains. You nod, “I’m sure you’re not super comfortable after sleeping in your jeans,” she frowns. “Why don’t you go take a nice shower and we’ll get everything ready,” she smiles sweetly at you.

You nod once more, “Thank you guys,” you say a small lump forming in your throat, “this means a lot to me, as simple as it may seem.”

Angie hugs you into her side while Peggy snuggles on your other side, while Maria and Eliza join in. You give a small laugh, making the girls smile. “Okay I’ll take a shower and then we can start,” you say getting up from the couch and making your way to the bathroom. As you step into the shower you try not think about Alex or anything that transpired last night, but you can’t help it. As the ache in your chest grows, tears stream down your face and wonder what you’re going to do now. As the reality sinks in your tears flow faster, mixing with the water falling on your face. Sobs start to escape you, you try to control your breathing, and calm yourself down. Once your breathing is back to normal you finish your shower, dry off, and get dressed. You make your way into the living room and see nothing but a sea of pillows and blankets. Eliza notices your slightly puffy eyes and realizes you must have been crying, but doesn’t bring attention to it. She makes her way to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and leading you to the sea of blankets and pillows. “You sit in the middle because you’re the guest,” she tells you with a smile. You sit down next to Peggy, while Eliza settles in next to you. Angelica sits on the other side of Peggy, while Maria sits on the other side of Eliza.

You all snuggle up together, “What are we watching ladies?” Maria asks.

“I vote Parks and Rec,” Angie suggests.

“Mmm….I vote Friends,” Peggy says.

“I’m for The Office all the way,” Maria throws in.

“What do you want to watch, hon?” Eliza asks you. “It doesn’t have to be a show, it could be a movie if you want.”

You purse your lips, “umm….can we have a Harry Potter marathon instead?” you ask looking at your friends, unsure.

“I just feel like getting lost in another world.”

Eliza gives you a warm smile, “Of course, you know I can’t say no to Harry Potter.”

She gets up to get all the dvds and puts on The Sorcerer’s Stone. Angelica brings a bowl of popcorn from the kitchen, and you all pass it around. You put your head on Eliza’s shoulder once more, getting lost in the wizarding world.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

Alex has a restless night. He wouldn’t have even gone to bed had his friends not forced him to, and even worse they took his phone. He tried to sleep, but it never came, so instead he laid in bed and thought of you all night. What he could do, how he could do it. What he would say. They may have taken his phone, but they couldn’t stop him from writing. He wrote letter after letter, throwing each one away until, he was satisfied with the words written on the page. Before he knew it, morning had come and he couldn’t hear a peep from his friends. As he crept into the living room seeing their sleeping forms, he searched for his phone. He didn’t see it anywhere out in the open, and then he spotted it. It was in Hercules jean pocket. He cursed in his head, not wanting to wake the giant. He slowly creeps over and slides his phone out of Hercs pocket. Once he has his phone in his grasp he quickly and quietly runs to his room. Once he’s alone he calls you again, only to receive your voice mail right away. He groans in frustration, he just wants to hear your voice, he needs to hear your voice. He tries to call Eliza the phone rings once and then goes straight to voicemail. He calls Peggy next and the same happens. He tries Angelica she picks up then hangs up right away. Groaning again he throws his phone across the room. Fine, he thinks, if they want to ignore me, I’ll just go there myself. He puts his shoes on and walks quietly through the living room before exiting his apartment. As the door closed John started to stir and as he heard a car start, he sat up and went to Alexander’s room not seeing him there. He immediately wakes up Herc and Laf, they hastily get ready and try to catch up to Alex.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

You were all on Chamber of Secrets when you heard a knock on the door. Angelica gets up to answer it. As she opens the door she immediately tries to close it, but Alex pushes through. Eyes immediately finding yours. You sit paralyzed, Eliza’s arm around your shoulder, eyes wide and filling with tears. He looks as awful as you feel, and your heart aches for him. And then as if a freight train hit your heart, you become angry.

“Get out Alexander, you’re not welcome here,” Angie tells him standing in front of you to block his view.

He narrows his eyes slightly. “I came here to talk to (Y/N),” he says trying to keep his tone calm.

She scoffs, “Well she doesn’t want to speak to you, so leave.”

“Let her tell me that,” he says trying to walk around her. When she continues to block him with the help of Maria, he gives a frustrated sigh.

“I just want to explain myself, I want to make things better, please,” he begs. He receives no sympathy from either woman.

“How are you going to make things better? Huh, Alexander?” Maria takes a step forward poking him in the chest. “You think saying ‘I’m sorry’ is going to fix anything? It doesn’t erase anything you did,” her voice becomes louder with each word.

“Don’t you think I know that?” he yells back. “I know I fucked up, but she’s everything to me and I can’t just leave it like this,” his eyes glisten with unshed tears and both women are slightly taken aback.

The boys arrive at this point standing in the door way.

"Alex, come on man," John says gently grabbing his arm. "Let's go."

"No, I'm not going until I get to talk to (Y/N)," he says yanking his arm away.

"Alex," Herc says this time reaching for his friend. Alex shifts away.

"No!" He looks at his friends and then to Angie and Maria, "You all want me to be calm and quiet, while the love of my life slips through my fingers?" He scoffs, "well it's not going to happen, she is everything to me-"

“You’re a liar,” you whisper eyes on the ground, as everyone turns to look at you.

“What?”, he says eyes glued to your form, a chill going up his spine at the cold tone in your voice.

“You’re a liar,” you repeat looking up at him, tears already rolling down your cheeks. “I am nothing to you.” He’s struck into silence he’d never seen you so livid or cold before. “If you loved me, really loved me, you never would have done this,” you pause as you stand so you could look him straight in the eye.

“Everyone told me to be careful, to watch out because you couldn’t be tied down. You loved the chase far too much to give it up for someone as simple as me.”

He shakes his head, his eyes filling with tears.

“No, I love you. You’re the only one I want,” he says in a pleading tone.

You stand from your place next to Eliza.

“Wanted,” you seethe, “its past tense Alexander because you obviously want someone else. Right? That’s why you decided to sleep with her, isn’t it?” You accuse him walking towards him.

“You just couldn’t resist, could you?” You stand face to face with him, “you’re so selfish, you always think of your needs and wants before anyone else’s.” You push against his chest, “you never think about the consequences to your actions!” You shove him again, “you ruined everything! We had everything, we were so happy and you ruined everything!” You shove him again and his back finally meets the wall, “and for what?! For what Alexander?!” You hit his chest once more, and he puts up no fight against you. You look into his eyes seeing the tears falling down his cheeks. “Say something, where are all your words now?”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I never deserved you,” he raises a hand to your cheek and you lean into him for a second before pushing yourself away.

“No! No! You don’t get to comfort me, when you caused all this pain!” you yell at him.

He steps closer to you grabbing your arm and pulling you into him. You try to fight him, but he just holds you close placing soft kisses on your forehead. You cry helplessly, and try to push him away, your fists hitting his chest. You didn’t want to find solace in him, but you couldn’t fight it anymore and finally give in, a sob ripping through you as you fist his shirt in your hands.

Your friends all watch you breakdown and feel their own hearts break. Maria holds Eliza close as tears spill from her eyes. Angie has an arm around Peggy, and the boys stand side by side holding back their own tears. He shushes you, as you both gradually fall to the ground. You sit in his lap, his arms wrapped around you, as you cry into his neck. Your sobs continue and he rocks you back and forth, whispering ‘I’m sorry my love’ over and over as you slightly shake your head at his words. Your friends all share a tearful look before leaving you alone in the house. As your breathing calmed, and your sobs subsided into silent tears, you finally spoke.

“I hate you,” you breathe out.

His hold on you tightens for a second, “I know, I don’t blame you.”

“I might hate you for the rest of my life,” you say.

“I hope you don’t, but I deserve that,” he replies not deterred by your words. “I wrote you a letter.”

“Of course you did,” you sigh, writing was what he did best. He chuckles slightly. “Do you want to read it?” he asks tentatively. You shake your head against his chest.

“Not really," his heart drops and his breathing halts, "but you can read it to me. I’m curious as to what you’ve eloquently written,” he let's out a sigh of relief.

Keeping one arm wrapped around you, he takes the letter out his pocket with his free hand. It’s all folded up, so it takes him a while to open it up.

He clears his throat before he starts:

“My only love, my darling love,

Forgive me for the sins I have committed against you, forgive me the wrong I have done. I have hurt you beyond repair, and this is something I will regret until my dying breath. You have given me nothing but love, support, and happiness since the day we met. My darling sunshine girl,” he pauses at the lump in his throat, and you swallow against one as well as tears begin to fall, remembering the nickname he gave you years ago. He hadn’t called you that for so long.

“Forgive me my selfish nature, forgive me for not thinking of you and only you. I have loved you wrong, and taken for granted the rare love we have. I know that I have made a mess of the life we share and that you hate me now,” you slightly nod against his chest, and he gives a breathless laugh, “but this estranged organ in my chest beats only for you and it will for the rest of my life. If I’m lucky enough to keep you, if by some miracle you choose to have me around, let me show you how I can love you right. Let me give you all you deserve and more.

If, my dearest, love of my life, you allow me to stay by your side, I will spend everyday proving my love for you. My heart, mind, and soul are eternally yours.

Always yours, Alexander

As he finishes you both have tears streaming down your faces. You look up at him and grab his face in your hands. You rest your forehead against his, “I hate you for what you did,” you pause waiting for him to look at you, “but my love for you outweighs everything else.”

His worried gaze becomes hopeful, “We have a lot of work to do before we’ll be okay,” you warn him. “But I want to try, I want to work things out, so you better mean every word in that letter because so help me God, Alex”-

He cuts you off with a kiss, “I meant every single word,” he says before pressing another kiss to your lips. “I promise you, I will spend the rest of my life making sure you never doubt my love for you.”

He pulls you impossibly closer and kisses you fervently, pouring all his love for you into the kiss. You kiss him back with just as much passion before pulling away to take a breath.

“I love you, you stupid, stupid man,” you say into his neck. “I love you, my beautiful sunshine girl,” he replies placing a kiss to your temple.

And as you sat in his lap on the floor, his arms wrapped around you and his words in your heart, you knew you weren’t completely healed, but you were starting to recover…

#alexander x reader #hamilton imagine #maria reynolds #john laurens #eliza schuyler #marquis de lafayette #angelica schuyler #Hercules mulligan #peggy schuyler #hamilton #hamilton fanfic #hamilton fandom #alexander hamilton

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hamilton-one-shots · 6 years

Text

Hamilton High School AU 22

Alexander popped the phone onto a charger and waited for the screen to light up. When it did, he saw that the lock screen was Lafayette and a few old friends in front of the Eiffel Tower. He looked happy. At least, he looked substantially happier than the last time Alexander saw him. He sighed and added Lafayette's new number before texting him. [Laf: hey, its alex. marta gavme ur old phon. can we tak l8r? its imprtnt.] Then he switched to texting John. [John: hey, marta gav me lafs old phon 4 now.]

Both were headed back to class after lunch, though Lafayette was more nervous to respond. [Yes, of course, but it will have to wait a while. I have drama and we're talking to John after that.]

[I'm glad to hear that. I missed you. : )]

Alexander opened his laptop to work on something for the debate society, cringing as Lafayette's text tone rang through. 'Salut! New message, Monsieur! Meow!' Even Lafayette now would be annoyed by it. [Laf: it ok. I jus wana tak. Hav fun in drama :)] He hoped he sounded friendly enough. The last thing he wanted to do was panic Lafayette. [John: i talked 2 marta a lot. I feel beter 4 it. Oh! Also took my meds] [...do u thnk Tomas gets angry spels?] [no, ignor tat. It's dum. Jus thinkin 2 much. Bored @ hoem.]

Lafayette was the first to respond with a simple [Thank you, I'll see you then.]

[I'm glad you feel better! Can't have my love feeling too bad ❤] [I'm also proud of you for taking your meds 💗] It was mushy, but it was John. He was usually like that. At least he was with Alexander. When the second set of messages came through, he frowned a bit. [Jefferson's just a stupid bully. I've known that for a while now, you know.] [Don't let him get to you.]

Alexander sighed. He couldn't blame John for thinking that way after what he did to him. [sry, just didnt tink ne1 cud b tat much of n ass w/out reson]

[I see where you're coming from, but Jefferson isn't like you. He doesn't care.]

John had a point, but... It was worth a shot. He logged into Facebook and pulled up his messages with Jefferson. [dnt b men to laf in drama]

[Anything for you <3 xx]

[dnt do tat. im tryin to b sivil]

[You just wanted to message me, didn't you? ;) xx]

[no.]

[Why? Besides, I'm meant to be working, boo <3 xx]

[4get it] Alexander dropped back to his pillow with a huff, holding the phone to his chest. This wasn't going anywhere. [jus bored. Go bck 2 studyin]

[Yes sir <3 xx] Thomas chuckled and strode into class with Lafayette and Hercules, where Alexander usually joined them, and sat beside the pair. "Smile, Mulligan. You use less muscle."

"When you drop, I will." He shot back.

"Now, now, I've been given specific instructions to be nice to Laf. I plan on following them." Thomas grinned.

Lafayette shifted to be a bit closer to Herc. He didn't feel like starting a fight with Thomas that day and didn't want Hercules to feel he had to. "If you really wanted to be nice to me, you'd kindly fuck off." He smiled, speaking low enough so that the teacher wouldn't hear, but loud enough for Thomas to hear him clearly.

Thomas nodded. "As you wish." And he... actually left?

"What's up with that?" Hercules asked.

"I don't know.. Maybe we should just enjoy this while it lasts."

[Laf asked me to move and I did. That's being kind, right? 😉 xx]

[i gess... thnx?].

[Don't mention it. See? I can be nice 💗 xx] [What am I going to get in return? Or do I move back to sitting next to them? xx]

Alexander froze, feeling his heart jump wildly in his chest. [wat do u meen...?]

[I mean xx] [Either we start 'getting along' if you catch my drift, I'll play nice. I'll be nice to Laf, I'll be nice to Herc; hell, I'll even be nice to your Johnny 💗 xx] [We've just got to spend some time together, that's all xx] [Or I can go find John now. He's probably in the library, right? xx]

[nO] [dnt do that] [pls] He panicked, typing back quickly, biting his lip.

[Then let's hang out. Sit with me in lunch tomorrow when you're back. Then come to mine after school. I'll even drive us. OR I'll get John. xx]

Poor Alexander whimpered in panic. This wasn't what he wanted. Not in the least. [ok] He looked back to his conversation with John. [John, u cnt come ovr 2day. im 2 sick.]

John furrowed his eyebrows and took a break from drawing. [What? Are you sure? I asked Martha earlier and she said it'd be fine if I went over and visited you...] [And Lafayette asked me to come over, probably to talk about what they know.]

Crap, that was right. Alexander almost forgot. [sry, just havn an episod. frekd out fr a sec] He curled up and whimpered. He was scared... And he needed John now more than ever, but he wasn't going to let Thomas come near him, not after what he'd done to him. He had to take care of this himself. He switched back to Facebook. [tomas, im not sure about this...]

[So you'd rather me go back to sitting next to him and start something? Ooh, I know, I could tell him how hot he looks in skinnies 😉 xx]

Alexander jumped up. [no dnt] [sorry jus] [pls dnt do nythin] [pls] [tomas?] [thomas] [anser] [o god] [dnt hve dne nything] [pls] [tomas!]

[Chill. Eacker was looking this way so I had to hide my phone xx] This was a lie. Thomas had waited a few minutes before responding purposefully to scare poor Alexander. [Good to hear you screaming my name tho xx]

[stop pls]

[How'd you manage to misspell my name when it's on the screen in front of you? 😜 xx]

[pannic]

[Aww... don't panic 💗 I'm gonna look after you, I promise xx] He looked over at Lafayette and Hercules and smiled.

Lafayette glared back at him. "I'm going to get to the bottom of this..."

"Please be carerful.." Hercules kissed his cheek.

After school, Lafayette took a chance and sat beside Thomas for drama. "Hello, Thomas."

Thomas raised an eyebrow at him. "Since when do you talk to me?"

"I just thought I could ask you for some advice. Do you have any tips for playing Veronica sawyer?"

This sparked his interest. "There's not much to it. She's a high school chick trying to fit in. Sort of a sassy girl next door."

"I see.." He nodded. "And I wanted to apologize for our prank last night. I remember how hard it was for John to have to raise his siblings."

"Forget about it. Lucy's a kid. These things happen." He pulled out his script. "So, are you okay with Dead Girl Walking? Because we're going to have to practice that scene at some point and I don't want it to be awkward when we do." As if he cared. He only had to be nice to Lafayette.

Laf couldn't help but shudder a bit ,though he was able to keep it to himself. "It's just acting. No harm done. I'm sure Herc won't mind."

Thomas nodded. "You're right. He shouldn't."

Before Lafayette could comment on what Jefferson was obviously trying to do, Eacker stumbled in, apologizing for being late once again before announcing their roles. Of course, Lafayette was Veronica Sawyer and Thomas Jefferson was Jason Dean.

"See? You know me. It won't be so bad."

Though, of course, it was the fact that Lafayette knew him that made it bad.

"What scene are you two talking about?" Eacker asked as he passed the pair.

"Dead Girl Walking. Just hoping it won't be too awkward."

Eacker smiled. "Well, nothing like breaking the ice."

Wait, what?

"We're all friends here. We were going to head on stage anyways to practice a few scenes. Why not this one?"

Oh, god, were they really doing this now? Lafayette stood up and took a deep breath before following everyone out to the auditorium. It's just acting.

Thomas was too busy texting to worry.

[i dnt like tis] [im scared] [pls dnt taek it owt on laf] [i jst dnt want 2 go hoem w/ u] [sorry sory sorry] [nything els, u got it] [jus dnt ruin drma 4 laf] [dnt go neer Jhon] [John*] [pls] [pls] [pls]

[No. We've got a deal, babe. I'll behave if you do as I say. Laf's acting now; y'sure you wanna go back on this nooooow? 😉 xx]

[nO] [pls] [leev hm aloen] [il b good] [its fien] [il go w/ yu] [srry]

[Good choice 💗 xx]

Alexander changed the password on the phone to some complicated pattern before putting it down on the bed... then beginning to tremble. He hopped up from the bed before practically sprinting across to Lafayette's room and launching himself at John. Poor Rosie barely had time to leap out of the way. She hissed disapprovingly as she knocked her paw before returning to her basket as Alexander buried his face in John's chest, shaking like a leaf. He kept his arms wrapped around John's waist in the same vice like fashion he had before when he was scared John would leave him.

John didn't ask any questions. He didn't have to ask what happened. He had a good feeling. He texted Jefferson to confirm his beliefs. [What did you do to Alex? Leave him alone. If you're doing this to hurt me, just come after me instead. If you're not, come after me anyways. Leave him out.]

Thomas chuckled. How cute. But he couldn't respond yet. He got on stage with Lafayette and watched him act as the song began.

"The demon queen of high school has decreed it. She says Monday, 8 am I will be deleted. They’ll hunt me down in Study Hall, stuff and mount me on the wall. Thirty hours to live. How shall I spend them? I don’t have to stay and die like cattle. I could change my name and drive up to Seattle. But I don’t own a motorbike. Wait, here’s an option that I like. Spend these thirty hours getting’ freaky! Yeah! I need it hard, I’m a dead girl walking! I’m in your yard, I’m a dead girl walking! Before they punch my clock, I’m snappin’ off your window lock. Got no time to knock, I’m a dead girl walking." As much as Lafayette dreaded the scene, he wasn't about to half ass it.

"V-veronica..? What are you doing in my room...?" It was... unclear if Thomas was acting or not. It was either excellent acting ability... or Lafayette had genuinely caught Thomas off guard and scared him half to death. Either way, it certainly fit the role.

"Shh!" Lafayette looked back at Thomas with a sultry expression, grabbing his shirt collar. "Sorry, but I really had to wake you. See, I’ve decided I must ride you ‘till I break you ‘cause Heather says I gotsta go. You’re my last meal on Death Row. Shut your mouth and lose them tighty whiteys! Come on! Tonight I’m yours! I’m your dead girl walking." He pushed him down to his knees, lost in the role. "Get on all fours, kiss this dead girl walking. Let’s go, you know the drill. I’m hot, and pissed and I'm on the pill. Bow down to the will of a dead girl walking." He kneeled down and held his face. "And you know, you know, you know, it’s cause you’re beautiful. You say you’re numb inside but I can’t agree. So the world’s not fair? Keep it locked out there. In here it’s beautiful! Let’s make this beautiful!"

Thomas felt his knees click as he dropped, but it was totally worth it. Lafayette looked an image of perfection and coupled with those lyrics... Thomas felt like he could take him there and then.

"Get on all fours, kiss this dead girl walking. Let’s go, you know the drill. I’m hot, and pissed and on the pill. Bow down to the will of a dead girl walking." He knelt down and held his face.

It took all of Thomas' restraint not to go back on his 'deal' with Alexander. Whether or not getting in Lafayette's pants was his focus, he was undeniably gorgeous.

"And you know, you know, you know, it’s cause you’re beautiful. You say you’re numb inside but I can’t agree. So the world’s not fair? Keep it locked out there. In here it’s beautiful! Let’s make this beautiful!"

"Th-that works for me!" He exasperated before yanking Lafayette into a kiss. It was rough and messy... but at least it fit the scene.

It was going to take the power of every god to wash that taste from Lafayette's mouth. It tasted like.. Like.. Jefferson. And he hated it. But he didn't act like it. He kissed back just as roughly because it wasn't Lafayette kissing Thomas, it was Veronica kissing JD. And it was too late to back out then, so he kissed back and continued the song afterwards. "Yeah! Full steam ahead! Take this dead girl walking!

"How'd you find my address?"

"Let’s break the bed! Rock this dead girl walking!"

"I think we tore my mattress!"

"No sleep tonight for you! Better chug that Mountain Dew!"

"Okay, okay.."

"Get your ass in gear! Make this whole town disappear!"

"Okay, Okay!"

"Slap me, pull my hair! Touch me there, there, and there!" Lafayette didn't know what was worse, the fact that Thomas' hands were all over him or the fact that he was the one guiding them. At least he got to slap him. "No more talking!"

"Woah!"

"Love this dead girl walking!"

"Woah, woah! Hey, hey! Yeah, yeah!"

"Love this dead girl walking!"

"Love this dead girl! Woah, woah! Hey, hey! Wait, wait!"

They finished out the song in sync. "Love this dead girl! Yeah, yeah, yeah!"

"Ouch!"

"YEAH!”

“YEAH!"

As soon as the song was over, Lafayette got off of Thomas and caught his breath, smiling at the class a bit. He knew they did amazing. And he hated it.

Thomas looked like a mess. His hair was sticking up all directions and his face was glowing crimson. Thomas was no virgin, but he hadn't expected Lafayette to carry out the scene so well, or convincingly. He pulled himself to his feet, joining the applause for Lafayette and himself before offering a hand to help pull Lafayette up from the floor.

"See? You're both fine. Nothing to worry about." Eacker chirped with praise. "It helps when it's a friend there, right?"

"Right." Thomas piped back before returning back to his seat with Lafayette. "...so do I owe you a cigarette or...?" He laughed lightly, attempting to tidy his hair.

Lafayette rolled his eyes, holding his arms that much closer against his chest.

When class drew to a close, Thomas put his script back into his rucksack and swung it over his shoulder. "You're a great actor, Laf. Really. I mean that. I'll catch you tomorrow.," he complimented before waving him off and leaving the room, finally texting John back. [/I've/ done nothing. I haven't seen him today. Besides, he's /your/ boyfriend. You fix him xxx]

As Lafayette followed behind him, surrounded by his classmates, he felt conflicted. He loved acting, but it felt wrong doing that scene with Jefferson.

When Lafayette came out of the classroom, surrounded by various other drama members full of praise and compliments, Hercules bit his lip. This was something Lafayette was 1. Obviously passionate about and 2. Very good at. Hercules's jealousy would have to step aside. Instead, he greeted Lafayette with a supportive smile, pretending he hadn't just seen that scene. "Hey you! Someone's popular!" He hummed. "John headed back to yours early to see Alex. Are you ready to go?"

He nodded and faked a smile. "Yes. Let's go." He kissed his cheek and walked home with him.

When John and Alexander heard the pair arriving, the latter froze up a bit. Not only did they have the talk to do, but he hadn't gotten around to apologizing to Lafayette and he believed him to still be mad.

They entered the room and mumbled a few greetings before sitting down, even Rosie leaving the room as she sensed the tense atmosphere.

John was the first to break the silence.

#hamilton #hamilton fanfic #alexander hamilton #john laurens #lafayette #hercules mulligan #thomas jefferson #lams #mullette #dead girl walking #22 #chapter 22

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