#HEY SMEYER I GOT A FUCKIN STORY TO MODEL YOUR TWILIGHT FANFICTION AFTER

[fuckmeyer]

if smeyer wasn't a coward vamp!Bella would have immediately eaten her daughter Rensesmem whole-hog like Saturn Devouring His Son

#twilight #twilight renaissance #bella swan #the twilight saga #breaking dawn #smeyer wanted to model all her books off of classic literature: romeo & juliet - wuthering heights - pride & prejudice #AMATEUR HOUR #HEY SMEYER I GOT A FUCKIN STORY TO MODEL YOUR TWILIGHT FANFICTION AFTER #BREAKING DAWN BOOK ONE: Bella fucks Edward for his power & breaks his stone dick in the process - & lo! Ravioli is born in the carnage! #Bella becomes a vamp. she takes over the Cullen coven AND the Volturi bc honestly fuck everyone here only Bella is Cool and Right #oh and vamp hybrids are now legal so vamps start gettin it on. hybrids everywhere. humans who? welcome to the Golden Age baybeeee #BD BOOK 2: Alice comes to Queen Bella with a vision: 'lmao bestie the prophecy says ur getting ur shit smacked' #oh_fuck.avi #Bella begins DEVOURING ALL THE CULLENS INCLUDING RAVIOLI so they can't fulfill the prophecy #vampire fluid contains 11 secret herbs & spices so it's lip-smackin finger-lickin good #omg but ONE vampire was hidden away........ gasp #surprise bitch! it's Ravioli! #turns out Bella mistook Ravioli for LITERAL Ravioli (Chef Boyardee Beefaroni to be exact) #Raviolo comes back and makes Bella throw up! bleh! the Cullens (& Beefaroni) are freed! #together with Benjamin Ravioli now rules over the Cullens and the vamp world #Bella is imprisoned #FUCK Bella #FUCK this story #still a better one than BD tho #the end