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haberdashing · 4 years

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Things I Almost Remember

TMA fic building off the AU established in Yesterday Is Here by @cirrus-grey, in which a post-season-4 Jon goes back in time to the pre-season-1 Archives to prevent the worst of the future from happening as it did in canon.

(All you need to know for the purposes of this fic is the premise and that the archival staff dub future Jon “Sims” to distinguish him from that era’s Jon, but I do recommend the fic. If this took place within it, it’d be between chapters 2 and 3.)

on AO3

Sasha was the first one to enter the archives, the morning after Jon explained to the archival staff why he was there, what had happened between this time and the one he was from, what the stakes were for him going back and setting things right.

That fit what he remembered of Sasha, at least. She had always been a morning person, or at least more so than any of her coworkers, and she’d made a habit of getting there bright and early to get a good start on the day’s work whenever she could afford it, usually with a freshly-bought coffee in hand.

(Jon had wondered at one point if that was really Sasha he was remembering with all that, or whether Not-Sasha had cultivated that same habit instead to spend that time before the rest of the staff arrived spying on the archives, but, well, seems like that particular uncertainty was now settled.)

Sasha smiled and waved at Jon as she walked through the door, and Jon didn’t hesitate to reciprocate.

“Good morning, Jo-”

She paused, looking more closely at Jon and swapping out her greeting mid-word, though Jon was glad to see that the realization didn’t make her cheery early morning smile fade terribly much. “Sims. Good morning, Sims.”

“Good morning, Sasha.”

Sasha headed towards her desk, and Jon couldn’t help but watch. It was good to see Sasha again, the real Sasha, after that long stretch of time spent without her, and that uncomfortable bit where what he’d thought was her was actually an impostor in his midst-

-and weird, as well, because there was still a part of Jon’s mind that insisted it remembered what Sasha James looked like and sounded like and this wasn’t it, but Jon had long since accepted that weird had become par for the course in his life.

“Why are you looking at me funny?”

Jon blinked, Sasha’s speech disrupting his train of thought. “I’m not looking at you funny.”

“Yes you are. And you’re not being subtle about it either, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Sasha made a detour, heading towards Jon instead of proceeding towards her desk, until she was standing just a few feet from him and looking him dead in the eye. “What’s going on?”

“It’s just...” Jon sighed softly before continuing. “I’d forgotten what you looked like.”

“Am I really that unmemorable?”

Jon could feel the blood rushing to his face as he hastened to respond. “No, no, it’s not like that-”

Sasha laughed, and it sounded different than Jon remembered, and it sounded right. “No, honestly, I get it, clearly you’ve had a lot on your mind with- with saving the world and all, and it doesn’t seem like you’re great with faces to begin with-”

“That’s not it, though- I mean, you’re right that I’m not always the best with faces, but-”

“Knew it.” Sasha grinned at that, a satisfied grin, which coupled with her words suggested to Jon that she’d just had a pet theory of hers confirmed. He might not have gone out of his way to get close to his archival assistants back then--back now--but evidently they’d still managed to pick up a few things about him along the way.

“But the reason I forgot what you looked like is that... when you died-”

It would be future tense in this time period, of course, but he wasn’t going to let it happen again, so might as well keep to the tenses that fit his own personal timeline. (Time travel was confusing in a number of ways, and Jon had anticipated as much, but the linguistic hurdles involved were somewhat unexpected.)

“Something else took your place, and when it did, it changed our memories to make us think it was you. It looked different, sounded different, but as far as any of us could remember, that was how you’d always been.”

Sasha hummed thoughtfully to herself for a moment before asking, “So this other me, this thing that took my place. What did it look like?”

“Now that I can see the real you, it was... way different.” Jon let out a sharp, humorless laugh. “A lot shorter, for one thing, and skinnier. No glasses, either. And its hair was all wrong, too, short and blonde, in... kind of a bob?”

Sasha’s laugh had more humor in it than Jon’s had, though that wasn’t a high bar to pass. “You thought I had a blonde bob? Seriously?”

“We all did!” Jon didn’t mean to sound quite as defensive as his voice came out. “We all thought that’s what you’d always looked like! Except Melanie, I suppose, still don’t know why she was the only one who could see through it-”

“Melanie?”

Oh, he had not meant to drop that name that early, especially since it was still only a matter of time before Melanie King came in to give her first statement to the Institute... “Forget I said that name. Please.”

“...alright, fine.”

There was a moment of silence before Sasha spoke up again.

“I know there’s some pictures of me around this place--are those what tipped you off, then?”

Jon shook his head. “They changed, too. Everything did, except your voice on the tapes, and it hid those when it took your place. All those pictures would show is you as-” Jon let a little laughter shine through in his voice as he looked at Sasha--the real, original Sasha--and knew how off the image he was describing, the image that was still his go-to mental image of Sasha James, was in comparison. “As a skinny little thing with a blonde bob.”

Sasha didn’t hesitate in her reply this time. “That’s bonkers.”

“Welcome to my world.”

This time, Sasha’s grin did clearly shrink a little. In hindsight, Jon couldn’t say he blamed her. They knew by and large what his world was like, now, and it wasn’t exactly a pleasant one.

“Now, I really do have some work to get going on, and my coffee’s getting a bit cold-”

“Right, of course. Go ahead. Just... it’s good to see you, Sasha. The real you.”

“...thanks, I guess.”

Sasha took a seat at her desk, the one Jon remembered as having gone unoccupied for so long, and Jon tried his best not to stare, tried not to drink in the image of Sasha James in the flesh, tried not to dwell on the inconsistencies that he was hoping this would finally smooth over in his mind.

#personal #my writing #tma #tma fic #tma fanfic #the magnus archives #the magnus archives fic #the magnus archives fanfic #jonathan sims #sasha james

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swipestream · 6 years

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SUPERVERISVE: “Trigun” is indeed probably the most Christian anime ever

I really didn’t know what to expect with “Trigun”.

Everybody had been recommending it to me for awhile, but I had tried the first couple of episodes already. They weren’t bad, but the show never really clicked for me. I was left there scratching my head wondering what was supposedly so special about it. I got why somebody might enjoy it in a “It’s not that great but it’s amusing” sort of way, but no more than that.

And then to be told that at its heart it was a Catholic story philosophically, thematically, and morally?

It should have been right up my alley, but I didn’t see the path from point A to point B. Still, so many people were praising it, and it had been recommended to me so many times, that I felt obligated to finish the series out. It’s not as if it was painfully bad or anything, and there must be SOMETHING to all the talk, right?

So I kept watching.

And man am I glad I did.

“Trigun” is an excellent show.

“Trigun” is the story of Vash the Stampede as told by insurance girls Meryl and Millie. Vash is a mysterious yet highly destructive drifter from the western-style planet of Gunsmoke, and Meryl and Millie have been tasked with following him around because every time he shows his face it costs their company enormous amounts of money. Vash has a 60 billion double dollar bounty on his head, but there’s something strange about him:

He’s a really, really great guy. Funny, fun, great with children, defender of the weak and helpless, and abhorrent of all killing of any kind.

So what’s with the bounty? And what’s with Vash?

And there’s your story.

“Trigun” starts off as light as a feather, even goofy, and then gets…dark. Really, really dark. Bloody deaths of beloved characters type dark.

“Trigun” is a show that is great at little, bad at some (the animation is rather weak, though I find much criticism of the dub to be unwarranted), but good at almost everything, and by the time it all ends the whole feels much greater than the sum of its parts. One thing the show is particularly good at is making you empathize with everyone, even the bit characters – nobody is acting like a jerk just to act like a jerk. If you have a giant wall up guarded by gunmen to keep out outsiders, you probably have a good reason for it and don’t just hate orphans. And if you want to kill Vash the Stampede, well, join the club.

“Trigun” is also uncompromisingly brutal when it comes to exploring its themes. Vash has taken the philosophy of “Thou shalt not kill” to the extreme, refusing to do so even in self-defense or defense of others, at least at the point of the series’ start. And we love Vash for it!

But it’s not so black and white. How many lives would Vash have saved if he’d just killed Knives? Hundreds? Thousands? And what if it really does come to protecting innocents, in that moment? Should you STILL not kill? Why not? And what does it mean for you if you do?

“Trigun” asks these questions without flinching, putting the matter before you as starkly as possible. And we never really get straight answers.

“Trigun’s” characters are rather unmemorable as a whole, with a few notable exceptions. Legato is one of the most chillingly horrifying villains I’ve ever seen, Vash himself gets a lot of rich character development, and, of course, preacher man Nicholas D. Wolfwood, the man with the most badass Cross on the planet, is the most awesome character in the whole damn show.

The man. The myth. The legend. Nicholas D. Wolfwood

Let’s talk a little more about Wolfwood, who is a fascinating character. It is interesting that Vash, “The humanoid typhoon” who doesn’t really talk about God or religion all that much, is the absolute pacifist of the group, while Wolfwood, the Priest, provides the counterargument. Wolfwood believes in a rougher world than Vash and in some ways comes from a rougher world than Vash, so he finds Vash’s no-kill policy naive, frustrating, and insulting, implying that men like him who kill to protect themselves or others are just as bad as cold-blooded murderers. It’s a legitimate grief, and the show portrays it that way. Like the best fiction neither side is shown as being exactly “right” or “wrong”. Instead, the idea is explored and examined in an intelligent and even-handed way.

There’s so much more to say about Wolfwood, who is truly a fantastic and fantastically written character, but to go deeply into what makes him so great would be to get into some really annoying spoilers, so instead I’ll leave this fantastic article out there for all of you to read when you finish the series.

The final episode – at least the second half, when the useless clip section of the episode is over – features one of the most outstanding gunfights I’ve ever seen on screen, almost completely dialogue free and brilliantly filmed. And the ending?

Well…

When I first saw it I’ll just say I was REALLY, REALLY ANGRY, though my brother pointed out some small details about the scene that helped me look at it in a new light. Still, it’s fair to say that it makes you think and stays with you a long time after it’s over.

Worth noting: “Trigun” features one of the most beautifully shot and filmed death scenes I have ever seen, and one of the saddest. I won’t say who it is who dies, but the scene is so well-done I feel that it is worth calling out specifically as being perhaps the best scene of the entire show. I don’t think I’ll need to link it – you’ll all know what I mean.

“Trigun” isn’t a masterpiece on the level of “Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood”, “Cowboy Bebop”, or the first half of “Death Note”. It never reaches the insanely high heights of any of those shows. Yet it’s never truly bad, even during its slow start, and it evolves into something that feels unique despite the fact that the sci-fi western is essentially its own sub-genre, with shows as brilliant as “Cowboy Bebop”, “Firefly”, and “Outlaw Star” (so I’ve been told, anyway) all fitting into that niche. Its uncompromising and unflinching nature gives it a fresh perspective on a lot of well-worn themes, and its take on Christianity feels both sympathetic yet somehow alien – like it’s being investigated by an outsider and all of its potential weaknesses are being shaken out and examined. When everything in the show’s DNA all clicks together the result is excellent comedy and compelling, and sometimes devastating, drama. While I don’t think it’s up with the top tier of shows, if somebody were to tell me it was their favorite I could definitely understand that.

Is it superversive?: Yes, fascinatingly so

Overall score: 8 of 10. Well worth your time.

(A note – after googling around while writing this article I’ve found that there is a TON of excellent “Trigun” analysis out there to read – it really is a much deeper series than you might give it credit for at first glance. Many of these essays are fascinating, and it might be worth your time just to google something like “Trigun Christianity” and look at some of them if you’re that type of guy!)

SUPERVERISVE: “Trigun” is indeed probably the most Christian anime ever published first on https://medium.com/@ReloadedPCGames

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