#I covered his beautiful face a million trillion times but he still gets tagged because we’re getting married next Thursday <3

[allimariexf]

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter

Relationship: Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak

Rating: T

Tags: Post-7x22, Olicity Reunion, Romance, Feelings, all the feelings, Happy Ending,Post-Canon Fix-It

Summary:

He is waiting for her on the other side.

~~~Post-7x22 Olicity Reunion!~~~

Notes: for your listening pleasure, Moon and Moon by Bat for Lashes and Cusco by Allie Crow Buckley

Comments and kudos on AO3 here 😉

When she stepped through the portal the first thing she noticed was this: a trillion stars scattered over a sky that was too big for her to take in in a single glance.

It felt unreal, like she had stepped into an impossible planetarium, until the first whisper of a warm breeze pushed a few loose strands of hair against her cheek.

And then she realized the solid ground under her feet was carpeted by soft grass, and she became aware that she was standing inside a perfect summer night, and she understood that this place was more than real.

Her eyes strayed over the bright pinpricks of light until a shower of meteors led her gaze toward the horizon, and there she saw a hill that contained a throng of humanity.

Except, improbably, the throng was populated with just one man, repeated over and over; one lonely man occupying infinite universes in a single time and space. Their backs were to her as they looked off into the distance.

Her eyes fell immediately to one pair of unmoving broad shoulders within the multitude, one man who was identical to all the others in every way except one:

This one was waiting for her.

Without a second thought she began to move toward him, and with each unerring step in his direction he came into greater focus while his doppelgangers started to fade away, disappearing without fanfare until he was alone on the hill.

It took a dozen steps to reach him, or a maybe million. She might have walked for the span of a lifetime, but he stood quietly, never turning around.

Waiting patiently for her.

Finally she stopped just behind him, when the only thing separating them was that final step. She didn’t fully believe he was real until he shifted on his feet restlessly, and the familiarity of the movement almost brought her to her knees.

“You found me,” Oliver whispered, still turned away from her, and his words barely reached her before they were swallowed up by the surrounding universe.

“I said I would.” 

(continue reading under the tag or on Ao3...)

She watched the lift and fall of his shoulders as he took a deep breath and released it. There was tension in his body, and it was echoed in his voice when he said, “This has happened before, thousands of times. I wait for you, and you find me. It’s my favorite dream.”

She felt a stir of uneasiness.

“Oliver....” She lifted her arm, about to touch his back and close that final distance, but he flinched violently, so she let her arm fall and her weight shift to her back foot. “Oliver.”

“Felicity,” he sighed, and his voice caught on each syllable like feet tripping over divots in a once well-known path. Even so, she heard the warning in his tone. “Please.”

The word hit her with almost tangible force. It was exactly the word that was screaming through her own body: please. It’s been too long. I’m ready. I’m here. Please. But she held back, knowing he needed her to; respecting and trusting their nonverbal communication as if no time had passed.

“Oliver, I’m here. It’s me.” She was caught between urgency and patience. It had been twenty years, and she couldn’t stand to wait a moment longer. But then again, time was on their side now, wasn’t it? She had said she would always wait for him; she could wait a little bit longer. “Look at me.”

He shook his head. “I can’t. I promised Felicity I wasn’t going anywhere.”

“Oliver, I am Felicity -”

He sighed, and he seemed to release some of his tension. “I know how this conversation goes: you ask me to go with you, but when I turn around, I’m alone. And I’m left talking to myself.” The hitch in his chest might have been a laugh, but his words were steeped with a deep sorrow that Felicity recognized down to her toes.

A tendril of dread snaked around her heart. Mar Novu hadn’t mentioned the possibility that Oliver might not be ready to see her. “You’re not alone, Oliver, and you never have been. I told you you’d never leave me, and you haven’t.”

His head tilted slightly, an almost imperceptible movement that communicated volumes to her. She had his attention; he was listening despite himself.

She took a deep breath, and the words came to her like they always had. “You were always with me, Oliver, in every moment.” Memories of the previous twenty years flashed through her mind, and the images filled her with conviction. “I recognized you in Mia’s intelligence and compassion and bravery; in William’s strength and heart and tenacity.”

Oliver bowed his head as if he couldn’t hold his head up under the weight of her words, and she chanced a half step toward him.

“You were with me as I raised Mia. You were there as I watched over William. I never made a single choice without thinking of you, and I never could have done any it without you. You were with me the whole time.”

He was half-turned toward her and she could see that his eyes were squeezed shut. “I’ve seen them, William and Mia,” he said in a low voice, and it was almost a confession, a deeply guarded secret torn from his heart. “I’ve watched them grow up in my dreams. I’ve seen William’s success, his bravery and passion. I’ve seen your influence over him.” He was nodding vigorously with eyes still closed. “I’m so proud.”

His words caused something to flare on the edge of Felicity’s consciousness, but she was already speaking, needing tell him more. She stretched her hand toward him but didn’t complete the connection, letting it hang in the air. “He built a company from the ground up, Oliver, faster than I would have thought possible. He is so smart. Like you.”

Oliver was shaking his head, but she sensed that he wanted to believe her.

“And Mia, Oliver, she is so strong, so driven to do the right thing.” The corner of her mouth lifted as she thought of their daughter. “Also just like -”

“You,” he jumped in, anticipating and inverting what she was going to say. “You had her train with Nyssa so that she would have the skills to survive, but those skills would have been meaningless without your heart.”

Felicity stared at him, breathing shallowly, surprised at his outburst but more than that, trying to process what it meant. Because the somethingthat had registered in her consciousness when he spoke about watching her raise their children was growing into a full-blown hope that he might have actually witnessed their entire lives . He might have really been there, not just his memory, but him. A profound joy was awakening in her heart. She took a deep breath and let her reaching fingers land lightly on his arm, willing his next words to confirm that what he had seen hadn’t just been a dream.

He shivered at her touch and then stilled completely, until all at once the tension left his body and he turned fully toward her.

Felicity’s breath caught in her throat at the first sight of his face, aged but still perfectly Oliver, and even more achingly, devastatingly beautiful than she remembered. He didn’t meet her eyes, focusing somewhere over her shoulder instead.

She let her fingers slide over his bicep. “Do you remember,” and she refused to acknowledge the optimism inherent in her word choice, “how I thought of you every day? Do you remember how you were there with me every time I closed my eyes, at night or just for a second in the middle of a long day?”

Oliver’s face had fallen, his eyebrows tightly furrowed as he shook his head.

Felicity saw his struggle, but she couldn’t have stopped her words if she’d wanted to. “Do you remember how I would turn out the lights every night and crawl into bed, our bed, and close my eyes and think of you until I could see your face, hear your voice, feel your touch?”

Oliver sucked in a harsh breath, scrubbing his fingertips over his face.

“Do you remember what would happen then?”

Oliver went utterly still, and Felicity held her breath. After a long moment, he let his hands fall away and he looked back at her.

Their eyes connected, and awareness of a thousand unspoken things crackled along their locked gaze as reality seemed to solidify and click into place around them.

They stared at each other with wide eyes and heaving shoulders in silence until Felicity couldn’t bear not knowing for a moment longer. She prompted desperately, “Do you remember, Oliver?”

He didn’t respond right away, but she could see in the intensity of his gaze, the sudden heat in his eyes, that he did remember. He knew.

She pressed on anyway, knowing he needed her to confirm it for him. “Do you remember how I would touch myself every night?”

“Yes,” he whispered with a mix of longing and uncertainty.

“It was the only time I didn’t feel your absence like a physical ache.”

Felicity felt his hand cover hers where she was still clutching his bicep. His skin was warm and real, giving her the strength to continue. “I felt your absence every time you weren’t there leaning against the back of my desk chair; every time I sat on the couch and your arms weren’t wrapped around me.” His fingers tightened on hers. “But even though I couldn’t feel you there, I could still feel you there.” She growled in frustration. “And yes, I know that sounds like the same word.”

Oliver huffed a startled laugh, and his other hand reached out to tangle with hers.

“What I am trying to say is that for one hour a night, I would give in. I would close my eyes and recreate your touch, and it was the only time I felt complete. As long as I didn't open my eyes I could feel you with me, and it was enough to get me through the other 23 hours of every day.”

Oliver turned her hand over so that their palms touched while his thumb stroked lightly over her skin, and his husky words made her shiver. “I had thousands of dreams just like that, Felicity. Lying in our bed, running my fingers over your skin, sinking into your body. It felt so real.” His gaze dropped briefly to their linked hands. “As real as you feel right now.”

She could see anxiety etched in the lines of his face, the warring hope and hesitation. She spoke with quiet confidence, “That’s because it wasn’t a dream, Oliver. Not then, and not now.”

He raised his head and looked at her under heavy brows, something sharp and needy in his eyes, and breathed, "I don't know how to tell if you're real."

Understanding immediately, she brought their clasped hands to rest over his heart, letting him read the unwavering conviction in her eyes. “Then look at me. Listen to my voice.”

He gazed back at her steadily as his thumb caressed her fingers. Watching his face, she saw the exact moment he registered the wedding ring, still on her finger after all this time, and she held her breath as he teetered on the edge of belief and acceptance. “I can’t lose you.” The words were out of her mouth before she realized she had spoken.

She saw the certainty settle in his eyes a split second before a smile washed over his features, and he reached up with shaking hands to frame her face. “You never lost me, Felicity. I’m here. Always.”

“Oliver.” She smiled brightly up at him even as tears spilled down her cheeks and along his fingers.

He stepped toward her then, pulling her into his arms and wrapping her in his body for the first time in twenty years. He pressed his lips against her head and crooned her name into her hair.

Felicity buried her face into his shoulder, inhaling his lost, familiar scent while he touched her everywhere, smoothing along the lines of her body and stroking his hands over her head. When he finally stilled his roving movements, he cupped the back of her neck and urged her head up. She looked up and met his waiting gaze for a single breathless moment, then watched his mouth descend upon hers.

She couldn’t believe how soft his lips were, how perfectly they fit against hers with just the right amount of pressure. It was infinitely better than her best memories. They traded soft, caressing kisses, absorbed in a feeling of utter completion. For once they weren’t in a rush, and every moment was a revelation. She walked her fingertips up his torso and opened her mouth, breathing him in as he changed the angle of their lips. His hands drifted through her hair and along her cheeks while he nipped at her lower lip, and she lifted on her toes and anchored an arm around his neck, pulling him deeper. His tongue reached out to meet hers in a slow tasting, a give and take that gradually became deeper. Her body echoed the movement of their tongues, pressing and sliding, sending sparks of sensation along long-forgotten pathways. Necessity had worn their desire down to a bearable ache, but now it burst back to life with a raw electricity that was just this side of painful.

Eventually, Felicity slid her hands up his broad back and he leaned back just enough to nuzzle his nose. Oliver closed his eyes against the onslaught of emotions, his heaving breath mingling with hers. “How?” But instead of waiting for her to answer, he kissed her again, his restless hands roaming over her body, settling on her hips for a moment, then smoothing over her ass, pulling her pelvis to nestle against his.

Felicity pressed her fingertips against the warm skin of his neck and pulled him down so she could rest her forehead against his, so that their lips just touched as they spoke. “I don’t know. I don’t know how any of this is possible.”

Abruptly Oliver laid his hands along her face and pulled back, looking at her searchingly. “Felicity, is it really you?”

Felicity looked back at him for a long moment, letting him look at her, confident that he would find the answer to his own question. His hesitation was completely understandable; he had been alone for so long, and how was any of this possible? But here they were, and she couldn’t suppress the smile that broke over her face as her eyes darted between his. “It’s me, Oliver.”

He smiled in response, helpless against the hope that was beating in his heart. “How long has it been?”

And her eyes only dimmed a tiny bit as she answered, “Twenty years.”

“Twenty years.” Oliver looked off in the distance, clearly shaken by the new information, but after only a moment he met her eyes resolutely. “And no time.”

She nodded, understanding. “Right. No time at all.”

He let his hands drift over her shoulders and down her arms, linking her fingers with his. Felicity sensed a slight reluctance as he leaned his forehead back against hers, and she gave his fingers an encouraging squeeze. “S-sometimes I thought it was all a dream. Before...all of this.”

He paused long enough that Felicity made a small hum of confusion, prompting him to clarify.

Oliver cleared his throat. “Sometimes I thought I never made it off my father’s boat, that maybe I drowned and everything that happened afterward wasn’t real.”

Felicity went still as she digested his words, and the pain he must have felt.

But then he leaned back so he could look at her directly, and his eyes were soft and bright. “But then I would think about you, and I knew it wasn’t a dream. You, Felicity Smoak, are something I never could have made up, never in all my wildest dreams.” He lifted a hand to her cheek and looked at her with eyes that were bluer than she remembered. “God, Felicity, I love you so much.”

Felicity swallowed heavily against the tears that were collecting in her throat, and she leaned in to kiss him again. They gave in again to the elation of simple touch, hair raising along skin and nerve endings pricking to life until they pulled apart, panting. Felicity’s fingertips strayed over his face, refamiliarizing herself with the shape she had long ago memorized. Her thumbs drifted over his lips and cheeks and chin, and she leaned back, preoccupied with examining the colors in his beard.

“I’ve missed seeing your face. Touching your lips.” One hand paused over his lips, while the other drifted absently down his chest. Her eyes went slightly unfocused as she murmured, “Feeling your abs.”

Oliver laughed, a soft sound that came from deep in his chest, and Felicity’s eyes snapped to his.

“I meant to say that out loud.”

He lifted a single eloquent brow.

“Oliver Queen, I said that on purpose!”

Instead of answering, he caught her up in another kiss, cutting her off her protests, and Felicity’s hands ran through his hair as she kissed him back with equal enthusiasm. She parted her lips, speaking into his mouth without conscious thought. “I love you,” she murmured as she wrapped her arms around his neck and stroked her tongue against his. “I love you so much.” She stretched up on her toes and let him pull her off her feet.

Oliver was caught in a haze of sensation, so it took him a minute to register what she'd said. When he did, he dragged his mouth from her jaw and let her slide to the ground, bringing his hands to her face so that she would focus on him.

Felicity blinked in confusion. “What?”

He remained quiet, looking at her with soft eyes, waiting.

“What?” She played back the previous few minutes in her head, cocking her head at him when she realized what must have made him pull back. She cupped his jaw and ran her thumb over his bottom lip, leaving no room for doubt. “Oliver. Of course I love you.”

He held his breath, watching her with flickering eyes, until a wave of relief and something indefinable broke over his features. She placed her hands on his cheeks and raised up on her toes.

“I love you, Oliver. I never stopped loving you. Never, for a single second.”

He nodded against the hands that were still squeezing his face, and swallowed visibly.

“Okay?”

“Okay.” He covered her hands with his and then took her left hand between his, tracing her wedding ring with his index finger. “You’re still wearing it.”

She was already staring steadily at him when he finally lifted his eyes to her gaze, and she smiled solemnly. “Of course.”

“I wanted to believe my dreams were real,” he began, and he looked down almost shyly, “but realistically speaking, we hardly had any time together. Only seven years, and for so much of that time we were apart.” He sighed. “So much wasted time."

“Hey. Remember what I said the night you left?”

He bobbed his head, knowing what she was referring to.

She knew he knew, but she said it anyway. “No regrets.”

He nodded again, like he did that night, a conscious effort to comply with her demand. “No, no regrets. It’s just that I thought, logically, that maybe you might have been able to move on. You were the love of my life, Felicity, but that doesn’t mean that I -”

“Stop.” Felicity’s fingers flew to his lips, and there was steel in her tone. Only when she sensed that he accepted the absurdity of what he had been about to say did she continue. “There has only ever been you. There has only ever been us.” She grabbed his hand again, and used her body to press it against his chest, so their clasped hands were trapped between their hearts. “There has only ever been this.”

After a long moment, he blinked in concession, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as his eyes dropped to her lips and his body followed, surrendering to her pull. She sighed into his mouth as he parted for her, and she snaked her arms around his waist. She held him as close as possible and deepened the kiss, opening to him and letting him take what he needed, offering her lips and neck and jaw, fitting her body between his legs, trying to erase the space between them. Finally he drew back, his lips closing over hers in a soft kiss, his nose rubbing her nose, his stubbly cheek sliding against her jaw, until his stormy eyes met hers again.

Felicity knew his intense emotions were reflected back at him when she gazed up at him, but her voice was breathless with hope and excitement as she asked, "What now?"

Oliver’s face broke into a blinding grin as he replied, “Now, we live.”

He pointed down the hill to where he had been gazing when she first saw him, and laid before them, incomprehensible to the eye but somehow fathomable, was a landscape of infinitely overlapping realities and possibilities. And she understood. All they had to do was make a choice. Eternity was before them, and they could live an infinite number of different lives of their choosing, or just one life forever, or any combination they chose. The only thing that was certain was that they would remain together. Always.

Felicity checked the email on her phone one last time as she stopped outside the door in the Harvard dormitory. C103. This was the place.

It wasn’t that she wasn’t in the habit of dealing with rich frat boys, not exactly. This was her second summer at MIT, and while her full-ride scholarship took care of tuition, last year she’d begun to pick up tutoring gigs in order to cover her living expenses in Boston’s inflated economy; Ivy League students with more money than diligence had become, quite literally, her bread and butter.

It was just that they didn’t usually ask her to meet them in their dorms. But this one had come up with some silly excuse as to why he didn’t want to be seen in a one-on-one tutoring session in the library, or the student lounge, or a Starbucks - something about a rare but potentially severe allergy to certain books - and for some reason, she’d gone along with it. Not that she believed his lame excuse for a second, but something about him made her decide to trust him anyway.

Which was actually crazy, but, well, here she was. She lifted her knuckles to the door before she had a chance to change her mind and knocked briskly. It wasn’t until the door swung away from her raised hand that she realized she was still clutching her red-cased phone.

But she didn’t have time to think about that, because standing right in front of her was the most impossibly beautiful man she had ever laid eyes on, and she realized with dawning horror that words were already beginning to spill out of her mouth.

“Oliver Queen?”

He was staring at her with a sort of open-mouthed fascination, as if she were some kind of car wreck he couldn’t look away from.

“Hi.” She extended the phone-wielding hand toward him. “I’m Felicity Smoak.”

He smirked in undeniable amusement as his gaze dropped to her phone, but when he looked back up and pinned her with an electric blue gaze, his eyes softened with something else, something she found impossible to look away from.

She was in so much trouble.

(not The End)

End Notes:

My friends, I have so much to say I don't even know where to begin.

First, let me share the poem that inspired the title: The Lonely Hunter by "Fiona MaCleod" (aka William Sharp).

(Okay so really the title is from a book by Carson McCullers that I love but that has nothing to do with Olicity or this fic. But the title always stuck with me and it seemed right for this fic, and I knew it was inspired by a poem so I googled the poem to see if it might be applicable and YOU GUYS. I CRIED THE SECOND I READ IT AND DID NOT STOP FOR TWO DAYS.)

Basically the poem is about a woman whose lover has died and she visits his grave and she imagines that wherever he is, he is dreaming about her and calling for her to follow him. And so she is alive, but she cannot really partake in the joys of life because her heart is forever searching for him. JUST LIKE WE KNOW HOW IT HAD TO HAVE BEEN FOR FELICITY: only half living her life, waiting to rejoin Oliver! And the imagery is of her heart as a hunter, and her quarry is her dead love, and the "arrow" that will catch him is her own death, which she longs for.

SEE? ALL THE CRYING! So here's the actual poem, in case you want to cry too:

The Lonely Hunter

Green branches, green branches, I see you beckon; I follow! Sweet is the place you guard, there in the rowan-tree hollow. There he lies in the darkness, under the frail white flowers, Heedless at last, in the silence, of these sweet midsummer hours.

But sweeter, it may be, the moss whereon he is sleeping now, And sweeter the fragrant flowers that may crown his moon-white brow: And sweeter the shady place deep in an Eden hollow Wherein he dreams I am with him---and, dreaming, whispers, "Follow!"

Green wind from the green-gold branches, what is the song you bring? What are all songs for me, now, who no more care to sing? Deep in the heart of Summer, sweet is life to me still, But my heart is a lonely hunter that hunts on a lonely hill.

Green is that hill and lonely, set far in a shadowy place; White is the hunter's quarry, a lost-loved hu- man face: O hunting heart, shall you find it, with arrow of failing breath, Led o'er a green hill lonely by the shadowy hound of Death?

Green branches, green branches, you sing of a sorrow olden, But now it is midsummer weather, earth- young, sunripe, golden: Here I stand and I wait, here in the rowan- tree hollow, But never a green leaf whispers, "Follow, oh, Follow, Follow!"

O never a green leaf whispers, where the green-gold branches swing: O never a song I hear now, where one was wont to sing Here in the heart of Summer, sweet is life to me still, But my heart is a lonely hunter that hunts on a lonely hill.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Okay, now that that's out of the way.

I know this story is coming 3 weeks late.

I have been kind of not-okay since May 13 when the finale aired. Not that I was unhappy with the ending, of course! What we got was so beautiful! But for me, nothing would have ever been enough, really. So I've been away from tumblr and most of the fandom (still on our Discord server, though! message me on tumblr if you want to join us there for fun Olicity discussion, group episode rewatches, etc.!) for 3 weeks because I felt too overwhelmed with emotions to join in.

But writing this has been cathartic, and I am hoping that I will be able to rejoin the living and enjoy hiatus now. :)

If you're still here, thanks for listening to me babble. ;) And please please please leave kudos and a comment if you liked it! My low spirits would love you for it. <3

And thanks forever to Emily Bett Rickards and Stephen Amell for bringing Oliver and Felicity to life. They have changed me forever and I will never be ready to let them go.

#my fic #olicity fic #olicity season 7 fic #arrow fic #arrow 7x22 fic #post episode 7x22 fic #olicity reunion #olicity reunion fic #yeah hello it's been awhile I know

[yourlemonheart]

The Big Shade Tree

Fandom: South Park

Ship(s): Crenny/Creek

Word Count: 2,799

Summary: Craig and Kenny were childhood friends. There's this big shade tree at the edge of the mountains where they'd like to play. Time flies and still, it's the tree that ties then together.

Tags: fluff, angst, major character death

The Big Shade Tree (South Park: Kenny McCormick, Craig Tucker)

Summer, the breeze of it blew in waves through the two boys' hair as they stood under a big Oak tree. The shade of the tree towered and reached over their bodies like a roof, protecting them from the heat.

"I'm not gonna let you see it, that's disgusting." The black haired boy said, holding the side of his jaw. He had turned six not that long ago and lost his first tooth. Not believing in the tooth fairy, he'd been struggling to find a place to put it besides the trash can.

"Oh come on! I wanna see it. I bet it looks cool!" His blonde friend muffled under his scarf. He reached over to try and pry the other boy's mouth open, putting his cold fingers on his face. "Open up, Craig."

Craig struggled under his friend's grabbing but finally writhed free. "Stop it, Kenny. Just help me find a place to put this thing." He pulled out a small plastic bag with his fallen-out tooth in it.

"Oh, I know. Why don't you bury it under this tree? My brother said if you bury something under a big tree, you can make a wish." Kenny sparked. He pointed at the base of the roots where a patch of naked dirt can be seen.

"Really?" Craig asked hesitantly. Kenny gave him a small nod and he sighed. "Okay. If you say so."

He bended over and began brushing the dirt away with his small hands. He found a spot just deep enough for him to put his tooth and he let it slide out of the bag and fall onto the dirt. After finishing burying it, he stood back up.

"What now?" He turned to ask his friend.

"You gotta make a wish!" Kenny explained enthusiastically. He swung his arms behind his head. "If I were you, I would wish for a trillion-no, a million dollars!"

Craig laughed softly, but turned his attention back to that little patch of dirt.

"I wish…" Craig wished. "I wish…"

He closed his eyes, crossing his fingers in front of his chest. There was a moment of silence when there was just the breezing wind and the faraway sound of the neighborhood.

"What? What do you wish for?" Kenny asked impatiently, practically jumping on his feet.

He turned, opening his eyes and smiling at his friend. "I can't tell you or it won't come true."

Kenny pouted. "You're no fun."

They continued standing there for a while as the big shade tree embrace them deeper into its core. The warm summer air circled them nicely and gently and the day fade away.

//

Years fly past and they believe they aren't children anymore. By the school yard they raced each other's wounded bodies to the edge of the forest where their secret base hid. Well, maybe it was more of a chase.

"Get back here, McCormick!" Craig yelled, his voice lost in the speed of the wind left behind by the boy in front of him.

Kenny laughed, his hood flowing behind him. "You gotta catch me first, fucker."

He ran and he ran, so fast like his legs were about to fall off when something finally stopped him. His face hit flat hard on the trunk of a big tree, slamming his nose to the side. In pain, he fell on his knees onto the patch of grass and fallen leaves.

"You idiot." Craig saw and hurried his way over. He touched Kenny's broken nose with his finger; dark red blood began flowing from his fingertip to the back of his hand and stained the sleeve of his blue jacket. "Watch where you're going."

Kenny smiled, revealing his crooked teeth. He reached up to wrapped his fingers around Craig's hand, pulling it down. The blood dropped down onto his orange parka and had began to stain but he didn't seem to care.

He shook his head slightly and pinched his nose in attempt to stop the blood flow. "Why did you get in a fight with Cartman?" He asked, looking down at Craig.

"That bastard was talking shit about Tweek." Craig said, kneeling in front of his friend. "He was asking to be beaten up."

"Oh…Tweek. Right, I didn't know." Kenny said, lowering his eyelids.

"Is that why you didn't take my side?" Craig looked away from him. The sunset glowing in his blue eyes.

"What?"

"Nevermind, let's just get you to a hospital." Craig discontinued his own conversation and stood up. He reach out his hand for Kenny, offering to help him stand up.

Kenny grabbed onto Craig's hand, pulling himself up. "Nah, I can treat this at home. Besides, the hospital's too expensive." He added, picking a crumbled up piece of tissue paper out of his pocket and applying it to his nose.

"Alright, whatever you say." Craig said, ready to leave. "Wanna go home, then?"

Kenny still had one hand on the tree, he touched the small dent he made when he got his head on it and smiled. "Yeah, but we should hang out back here sometimes."

The autumn sunset closed the scene as the two boys walked off over the hitch of the hill, disappearing as glowing silhouettes. And everything seemed to be alright, everything seemed to be going as he wished.

//

And eighteen was an exciting year. Talking about moving out and moving on; falling in and falling out of love. And that was how it all felt like to Craig as he held his boyfriend's hand tightly through the Christmas streets.

By the time the snow came crashing down to South Park, people knew it was time to put up the lights. And now, on Christmas Eve, it was a wonderland. With warm colors seeping from shop windows, decoration upon every wall, and carolers at every corner, people could agree it was perfection.

Craig squeezed Tweek's hand tightly through his glove, careful not to lose each other in the big crowd. They were just leaving from going to see the big Christmas tree at the mall, bumping shoulders upon shoulders as they made their way through the gaggle of people.

Out on the streets, Tweek rubbed his empty hands together, huffing puffs of smoke to try and warm them up. Craig quickly took off his gloves and gave them to him. "Here, honey. These will keep you warm."

"Thank you." Tweek said, putting on the gloves. He looked softly into his boyfriend's eyes and he felt nothing but warmth as his blue eyes looked lovingly right back.

In the distance, a construction site boomed as some large equipment seemed to have dropped from quite a height. Workers shouted at each other in concern of their safety.

"Working on Christmas Eve? Those workers' schedules are tight." Tweek said.

"Yeah…" Craig's voice drifted. He watched the construction reaching up into the sky bar by bar; it must've been a dangerous job working on that site. But quickly, he shook his head, turning his attention back to Tweek. "Where do you want to go now? There's still a little bit of time."

Tweek tapped his finger on his chin, "Hmm…how about the hills where the the forest starts? We can watch the stars there. But it might be a bit cold."

Craig smiled gently, "Don't worry, honey. I'll keep you warm." He saw Tweek's already red cheeks lit up in a bright pink colour as he swung his hand into his, intertwining their fingers.

At the construction site, Kenny stood unsteadily on the platform, holding on to a supporting pole. He'd accidentally dropped his equipment, and as it fell it took many parts of the unstable building with it.

"Hey, McCormick, watch it! You're gonna kill someone with that." The head of the team shouted from below.

"Yes, sorry, sir!" He hastily answered.

It wasn't fair. It was because he just caught his eyes on Craig and Tweek on the street together.

Since when? They used to be such good friends but now they barely talk to each other. Everytime they pass in the hallway, he'd open his mouth to say something but Craig'd be already gone.

And though he still remembered the good memories, they seemed to be blown away by the cool winter gust. And now there's nothing left but dust.

He watched as two fragile bodies moved on their way towards the mountain hills; towards his and Craig's secret base; towards the big shade tree. And soon they disappeared into the shadow of the town.

He wiped his face with the back of his dirt-covered hand.

"I wish…"

//

Spring was meant for rebirth. And the flowers by his hospital bed had many of those as his mother took in another batch of fresh bouquet.

She took the flowers out from the beautiful packaging and placed them into the case the hospital had provided. Sitting down on the bed, she softly touch the pink petals of the blooming lillies. A drop of tear rolled down from her cheek when she thought of how shortly lived they would be.

It's been a week since his son fell. Overworked, the doctor said. If only they hadn't asked of their son so much maybe it wouldn't have been this way.

"Mrs. McCormick, I'm afraid it's bad news." The doctor said solemnly as he walked into the room. "Your son is awake but…he only has a while."

She buried her face into her her hands, small sobs echoing in the room.

A nurse pushed Kenny into the room on a wheelchair. His usual tanned face looked paler under this light. "Hi, mom." He said weakly. "Could you-"

His mother ran over to tackle her son in a tight embrace, so tight the nurse almost stopped her. She kneeled in front of his wheelchair and cried down his shoulder. "Sweety, it's okay. You're okay."

Kenny slid his arms around his mother's back, "I know, mom. I'm okay." Breaking from the hug, he looked up to his mother and asked. "Mom, can you find Craig for me? I need to talk to him."

"Oh honey, of course. I'll see if he's here." She touched his cheek and turn to walk out of the hospital room but the nurse stopped her, signalling her that she'll go find him.

In the waiting room, Craig sat uncomfortably. He didn't know how to feel for sick people. Sad? Compassion? Empathy? All these emotions roaming up inside him just made him feel nothing at all.

He had skipped two days of college flying back from Sacramento but nothing mattered when he heard the news in the tone of Stan's voice.

"Kenny's fucking dying. If you took sometime to give two shits about your friends maybe you would've noticed."

Fuck Stan. What does he know?

He crossed his fingers and dropped his head, feeling a heavy pressure in this atmosphere. Maybe hadnt been that good of a friend but he couldn't deny he still cared. Even during the time in high school when they drifted apart; he felt it was just a misunderstanding. He never meant for things to be this way.

Pressing his fingers together harder and harder, he felt his worries implode. "I wish…"

"Craig Tucker? Craig Tucker." A female voice called out for him. His head shot up as he walked in her direction towards the hospital room.

As he entered the room, a familiar but unfamiliar face came into view. That old blonde smiling child now had pale skin, thin hair and limbs so weak they look like they could snap off at any moment.

"Could you guys leave us? I want to talk to Craig alone for a minute." Kenny smiled at the other three people in the room. They nodded and left.

The door closed behind Craig and he found that he had nothing to say. He leaned against the white wall and tried to look anywhere but Kenny's faded blue eyes.

He opened his mouth, breathing out the first word, "Ken--"

"Do you remember, Craig? That big shade tree we used to play at when we were younger. The one on the hills?" Kenny interrupted him, his eyes glued to the view outside the window.

"Um, yeah?" Craig answered questioningly. He took a step towards his friend.

"Could you take me there?" Kenny asked, gripping onto the handles of the wheelchairs tightly as if he knew it was a stupid question to ask.

"What? No, you need to rest." Craig walked to him, wrapping Kenny properly with the blanket the nurse had given him.

"Please, just one last time. I know I don't have long." Kenny coughed. He brushed off the blanket and tried to stand up but his legs failed him, falling to his knees.

Craig practically ran over to his side to help him get back into his wheelchair. "Kenny, no. You need to stay here and rest."

Just before Kenny was sat back into his chair, he pushed himself back up again. "Can't you tell, Craig? There's no point. I don't need rest because I won't be able to use the energy when I'm dead." He bursted.

Craig winced at the words, he was taken aback by his attitude but at last he sighed. "Okay, fine. We'll go to the tree but then you'll come back and stay here?"

Kenny nodded, smiling at his old friend.

After breaking out Kenny out of all the tubes, strings and IV, the rest of the piggy-back ride should be a breeze. They took the strangest of the alleyways to avoid being seen until they finally arrived at the mountain side.

"Let me down, I want to walk." Kenny patted on Craig's back, signalling him to let him down from his back.

"No, you'll fall." Craig insisted, holding him tight to his torso.

"Then help me." Kenny used his strength to push himself off of Craig's back, stumbling a bit as his bare feet landed in the slightly damp grass.

Craig quickly spinned on his heels, hoisting Kenny up by holding his forearms. "Okay, okay. Fine. Here, take my arm."

Kenny grinned as he held himself up by Craig's shoulders. He took careful steps up the hill, taking time to make sure he doesn't step on any of those little white flowers that bloom at the mountainside at the break of ice.

It was a while before they could reach the top where the magnificent tree stood. And by the time they got there, they were both sweating and panting.

Kenny lied down at the base of the big shade tree, stretching out his arms up into the air. It almost feels like he was as tall as the tree and he could touch the sky. The dry air kissed his skin and he felt wetness at the edge of his eyes.

And Craig just watched, sitting next to his friend. His fingers played with the grass between his knees as he looked faraway into the distance. Suddenly, he felt like they were children again; like he could do anything he wanted; like everything was okay.

He turned to look at Kenny, who was crying now but he knew he felt the same way. He reached over to put his cold hand in his own, and they just stayed silently, enjoying the breeze.

"It just not fair, you know?" Kenny shattered the silence, Craig looked at him and just listened. "I could've sworn my life was gonna be different. I was gonna make big money, buy a car and get out of this town. With Karen, my mom and…you. It was finally gonna be my time."

Craig squeezed his fingers tight around Kenny's. "It's going to be your time."

He looked up, his blue eyes still glazed in tears. But he smiled, closing his eyes once more. This time he could feel it, all the emotions from before running in his blood, in his veins. He could almost feel the bump where Craig had buried his first tooth.

"When I'm gone," Kenny choked out the words. "Please don't visit my grave. I don't want you to remember me as just another tomb stone in a sea of others. Just come here, this is where I'll always be." He smiled wide, tears rolling off his cheeks. "Under this big shade tree."

Craig scooted down to when his friend was and hugged him tightly, not caring how uncomfortable the position was. He ran his fingers through his hair as he grazed over his neck, his other arm wrapped around his shoulder. But Kenny did not return the embrace.

Quietly, Craig's tears dropped onto Kenny's cold face and slid down his smooth skin into his blonde hair.

"And I wish we will always be here together, under this big shade tree."

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