#I don’t post much on this account but damn it’s rlly gay

[apatheticlexicographer]

(this is kind of a long post that somehow turned into lowkey a conspiracy theory but i don’t want to rewrite the start bc it was written pretty much stream of consciousness and that amuses me)

maybe this is an unpopular opinion but i don’t want byler to be spoiled lol

crumbs, sure, little things that keep us invested, but i want to go into s5 completely unawares of how it’s gonna play out. i don’t want the cast or the official socials or some random leaker to tell me what’s gonna happen beforehand.

honestly the fact that so many people involved with the show have acknowledged byler yet none of them have shot it down as a possibility is a big enough crumb for me. or the way official netflix accounts have posted promotional things with byler since s4 dropped. yeah, they don’t have any involvement with the production of the show, but if the ship is being used for marketing then it’s considered a possible sales point.

actually now that i think of it, does anybody remember the june advent calendar??? when, immediately after v1 dropped, the official netflix accounts started posting pro-byler stuff damn near every day, to the point where we made an event out of it???

at the time we all got super hyped over it and then figured it was queerbait when they didn’t get together in v2, but isn’t it mighty fuckin convenient that the netflix accounts just “coincidentally” happened to start posting pro-byler stuff as soon as v1 dropped??? because yeah, byler started picking up traction immediately after it aired, but it took a while to really get the ball rolling. they started cashing in on the byler hyper train when it was only just beginning to grow from its tiny pre-s4 presence. seeing official accounts mentioning byler probably helped to cement it in a lot of people’s radar in the gap between the volumes. and didn’t noah also start saying he shipped byler around then??? 

POSTED ON JUNE THIRD??? only a week after v1 aired??? and ppl were so surprised by this tweet that when he was on a panel somebody asked him if he got hacked 😭😭

back then it really seemed like “oh the official accounts are queerbaiting during pride month” but A: we know noah wasn’t just saying this for nothing,he’s made it very clear that he believes it and B: why the hell would they be queerbaiting the tiny fledgling post-v1 byler audience when it was only just coming together??!?

hindsight says something was afoot here actually. they started releasing the pro-byler agenda from its tightly locked enclosure AFTER the volume where mike tells will hawkins isn’t the same without him and will brings the painting “for somebody he likes” when they go to pick mike up, IN PREPARATION for the volume where will gives said painting to mike along with an extremely emotional nameswapped love confession and mike turns around and gives a stilted and phony confession to his girlfriend. why the hell was attention being drawn to byler outside of the show itself in that interval if not to make people recontextualize what they just saw in v1??? and then when they see v2 have that recontextualization validated when will is confirmed to be both gay and in love with mike??? and to pick up on the fact that mike and el’s relationship is on more rocks than your average pile of gravel???

we know that they’ve had actors straight up lie to the audience before, too, because even if u just take noah as an example he said in a JUNE interview that will’s sexuality was up to interpretation, and then not that long at all after v2 dropped he did the iconic “will is gay and in love with mike” interview!!! and obviously he knew that will was confirmed gay when he did the first interview bc they had filmed that scene like a year earlier. so the fact that he never rlly mentioned byler, except for vaguely negatively when he was a kid, until v1 comes out and “SUDDENLY” he’s byler’s biggest warrior doesn’t mean he randomly changed his mind, it means he hadn’t been allowed to talk about it until after volume 1. after the first half of the season that made the majority of byler shippers see it as a genuine possibility and even the most likely outcome.

sorry i have no idea how much sense this makes and i’ve completely derailed whatever i was talking about at the top of this post. has anybody pointed this out??? have i pointed this out and i just forgot??? help?!!?!??

#byler #havign a fuckin crisis in this chilis tonight #no but like why the fuck else were they hyping up a ship that had until less than a week prior #had an extremely small fandom and an even smaller group of people who thought it was going to be canonically mutual #byler meta #i guess #stranger things meta #does this count as a theory??? bc it IS a theory but in the genuine conspiracy way and not the funky textual analysis way #fuck it #byler theory #stranger things theory #noah schnapp

[boy-bi]

a little vent

i know this is mostly a lgbtq positivity and education account but i really just need to vent tonight. jesus fucking christ its hard to be queer sometimes. i dont know if i have any coherent thoughts or any way to really sum this all up but its so hard and isolating sometimes. i just want to love. i just want to be me and i cant fucking do that without being reminded of how hard it is. i was listening to the kurtis conner podcast from a couple weeks back while i was at work and he has a little advice section and it was a young queer kid asking for advice on how to deal with a homophobic religious father who has been great except for how homophobic he is. ofc kurtis is a cishet man so he kinda was just like "damn that rlly sucks im sorry idk what to say" (im paraphrasing and this is not a callout post or anything im just giving background) and it fucking broke me. like i dont go half of what anon goes through but it really resonated with me. my younger sister came out recently and the way my mom has brought it up just breaks my heart. she's supportive and what not but its just like.... she doesn't see her the same way. she never will. and its the same for my extended family and im so fucking sick of it. and the worst part is i cant change anything. this isnt some fucking disney channel original movie where everyone realizes that gay people are normal and everything is okay; me coming out would forever change my family dynamic and there's nothing I can ever do about it. i was again reading some fanfic and boom outta nowhere it talked about how hard it is to be gay and it hurt my fucking soul again. like I cant even consume media that represents me without being reminded of how shitty the world is. i just wanna love. i just want to be like straight people and just love. but I cant. idk if this is defeatist or just a small set of experiences that will change when im older, but this is all I've ever known. and this is literally one of the better case scenarios; im not in danger, im out to a bunch of my friends, and there are so many queer people who have it so so so so much worse than i do. but im just tired.

ig i wanted to share this for a couple of reasons. i feel this blog sometimes romanticizes queerness in an irresponsible way. i repost happy and educational things because i don't want people scrolling through to be sad, and to not constantly feel weighed down and hollowed by the realness of the world. but its important for u all to know that i do not live a fairy tale queer experience, and for anyone who feels similarly, you are not alone. i guess i also posted this for advice or a cry of help for sorts. i need someone to tell me that it gets better. that this feeling goes away or gets easier to manage. i don't want to live my life with the ever-present thought of "being straight would be easier" in the back of my head. sometimes i feel so isolated and lonely with all of this stuff and it gets too much to bear.

anyways, that's my vent. pls lmk if i need to tag anymore trigger warnings, i tried to do the best i could. i doubt anyone is, but if anyone is worried pls do not be, i am safe and okay.

idk how to end this long ass post. im sorry for how depressing this post is. im just tired. im tired of hating myself, im tired of fearing for how my relationships have/will change, im tired of this stupid ass planet, im tired of not being able to love, and im tired of crying. i wish i could end this on a good note, and there are so many positives!! like we are living in the most progressive age and things have gotten so so so so so much better. but sometimes i wish i could just be straight, or live my life like a straight person does. i know im gonna look back at this and cringe or whatever, but irdc. sorry to vent to strangers on the internet, but if any older queer people could give me advice or their thoughts, i would rlly appreciate it. anyways, i love u all and i hope u guys have a good night <3

#tw interalized homophobia #tw homophobia #tw vent #vent post #queerness #lgbtq youth #bisexual #queer #lgbtq+ #lgbtq #queer community

[strongmadge]

1-100, punko ~ a mutual

I'm calling the cops but also thank u I adore u mystery mutual1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?: SoundCloud tbh2. is your room messy or clean?: Messy3. what color are your eyes?: Brown af4. do you like your name? why?: Well considering once I came out as NB I renamed myself SO yeah I like it5. what is your relationship status?: Single6. describe your personality in 3 words or less: Uhhh. Anxious, dramatic, (sorta) creative7. what color hair do you have?: Rn Purple & Pink8. what kind of car do you drive? color?: N/A9. where do you shop?: Uh. Everywhere I Guess10. how would you describe your style?: Gay hobo11. favorite social media account: My Twitter or discord12. what size bed do you have?: I want to say a double???13. any siblings?: Ye boy two sisters & two half brothers14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?: Literally anywhere in Greece. I adore it there. That's my reasoning.15. favorite snapchat filter?: The hearts around your head one16. favorite makeup brand(s): I don't know enough about makeup to say ajsbd17. how many times a week do you shower? 3-ish? I say ish bc I try to shower three times then I just wash my hair on Sunday axjnd18. favorite tv show?: Turn: Washington's Spies :/19. shoe size?: 7 & a half in women's20. how tall are you?: APPROXIMATELY 5'621. sandals or sneakers?: Sneakers22. do you go to the gym?: GOD I WISH23. describe your dream date: Probably getting takeout and then staying in playing video games or watching dumb movies24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?: $1525. what color socks are you wearing?: Pink & white26. how many pillows do you sleep with?: I only currently own 3 but if given the opportunity I'll sleep w 527. do you have a job? what do you do?: Not rn I don't but previously I was janitorial28. how many friends do you have? : 12-16 ish???29. whats the worst thing you have ever done?: Everytime I didn't stand up for someone just because I was scared30. whats your favorite candle scent?: Vanilla31. 3 favorite boy names: Wyatt, Felix, Adonis 32. 3 favorite girl names: Micah, Zipporah, Mackenzie33. favorite actor?: Sebastian Stan34. favorite actress?: Meryl Streep35. who is your celebrity crush?: Sighs Aggressively. Anna Kendrick & Matthew Musto36. favorite movie?: This changes near daily but rn probably The Book Thief :/37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?: I try n read a lot but I don't have the attention/motivation for it recently sighs. The Inkheart series holds a special place in my heart tho 😿😿38. money or brains?: Use ur brains right & you can get money39. do you have a nickname? what is it?: Finchy, usually. Maybe one day Finn will catch on tho you COWARDS40. how many times have you been to the hospital?: Zero whole times for myself personally41. top 10 favorite songs: Boots- KeshaCherry Wine- HozierWhistle Wars- KayzoOn The Line- BlackbearI Like Me Better- LauvRude- MAGIC!Purple Gusher- RezzI'm God- BlackbearUnfaith- EkaliKeep It Mello- Marshmello & Omar LinXPretty Head- Transviolet42. do you take any medications daily?: Not yet43: what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc): Combination but leaning more towards oily44: what is your biggest fear?: Replacement/Abandonment45: how many kids do you want?: 046. whats your go to hair style?: Down & side part47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) : Small & handbuilt by my grandparents48. who is your role model?: My older sister49. what was the last compliment you received?: "You're doing great and I love you."50. what was the last text you sent?: "JAHSHSJS NO I JUST MEAN BEFORE AKA B4 I'M SOWWYI had the trial for Sims 4 but then didn't bother buying it sighsHSHSHJSW I PLAY FOR LIKE 10 HOURS"51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?: Uhhh??? 6 or 7?? Maybe 5??52. what is your dream car?: Something that runs53. opinion on smoking?: BAD54. do you go to college?: I'm hoping to,,,one day55. what is your dream job?: History professor or on Broadway56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?: Rural 57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?: Damn right58. do you have freckles?: :3c Yes59. do you smile for pictures?: Usually close mouthed bc I don't like my smile60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?: 2000-ish?61. have you ever peed in the woods?: Ye boi62. do you still watch cartoons?: Not rlly63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?: McDonald's64. Favorite dipping sauce?: Barbecue65. what do you wear to bed?: Preferably nothing66. have you ever won a spelling bee?: Sjhshs no67. what are your hobbies?: Writing, listening to music & aesthetics68. can you draw?: nAH69. do you play an instrument?: I can semi play guitar & can play percussion and trumpet70. what was the last concert you saw?: TECHNICALLY it was a festival but Marshmello was the last act. Last real concert was Demi Lovato71. tea or coffee?: Tea72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?: Starbucks73. do you want to get married?: Sort of!!74. what is your crush’s first and last initial?: M.D & K.D75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?: Nah76. what color looks best on you?: Black or pink77. do you miss anyone right now? : HNnNG God yeah78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?: Closed and everyone who sleeps w it open is stronger than I 79. do you believe in ghosts?: They ARE real you cowards80. what is your biggest pet peeve? : Chewing loudly/with your mouth open and also loud swallowing81. last person you called: My sister,,,I think82. favorite ice cream flavor?: Cookies & Cream83. regular oreos or golden oreos?: Regular84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?: Rainbow85. what shirt are you wearing?: Plain black T-shirt86. what is your phone background?: Can't post bc I'm on mobile but art that my friend did of my da:i OC and Dorian :/87. are you outgoing or shy?: Mix?88. do you like it when people play with your hair?: Yes,,,pwease,,,89. do you like your neighbors?: Meh90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?: I was my face @ night and in the morning!91. have you ever been high?: ye boi92. have you ever been drunk?: Tipsy, not drunk93. last thing you ate?: Hawaiian Pizza94. favorite lyrics right now: "In this game that we play I never win/something about you I can't quit."95. summer or winter?: Summer96. day or night?: Night97. dark, milk, or white chocolate?: White chocolate tbh98. favorite month?: October99. what is your zodiac sign: Libra100. who was the last person you cried in front of?: Literally the entirety of my drama class like. 4 hours ago