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night-heron-writes · 1 year

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Spy X Family Chapter 76

~*~ Warning: Contains spoilers for Chapter 76 of the manga! Open at your own risk, agents! ~*~

First of all, a slight break from the crushing angst was nice. After a whole bunch of stressful chapters, a little bit of fluff was in order.

It was nice to see, as I expected, that Twilight was worried, in his own quiet, overthinking way. He's not at the point yet to just absolutely break down and show his emotional side, but he shows he cares with his repeated concern for Anya's mental health as well as her physical well-being. I also noticed that during their breakfast conversation, he didn't once think "for the mission". We're making progress, people!

Also, he drives her to school! I can't imagine him letting her back on a schoolbus for quite a while after that whole ordeal.

I found it interesting that Anya has picked up that something is weird with Damian's family. Of course, she doesn't quite understand the depth of it, she's six. But she's noticed that something doesn't quite add up, and it stuck with her.

And then Twilight, the poor sap, misunderstands her pensiveness as her being mad at him for not picking her up. He has a remarkable ability to feel guilty for situations he wasn't involved in or things he would have no way to change. (Shh it's the trauma)

And there we have our first "for the mission" of this chapter 😂. Interestingly enough, it's not about her Stellas, or even her friendship with Damian. He's thinking that if she's traumatized, then the mission is in danger. And he's not wrong, but it's nice to see the "for the mission" directed at her well-being and nothing else.

And then we get the discussion between Henderson and the tutor-in-residence, which feels like the set-up for a longer plotline. Especially this gem:

Henderson continues his trend of being a Loid Forger fanboy, but to me this seems like an excellent way for Endo to start giving more and more plot-relevant clients to Loid Forger. Perhaps even Melinda or Donovan Desmond at some point? One can only hope.

And then we have this panel:

I notice that Jeeves says "residence" instead of "rooms" or something similar. It looks like Melinda lives in a completely different house most of the time, then. An interesting window into the Desmond home life, and one I didn't quite expect. I wouldn't have thought that Donovan would allow such a thing. For a man so concerned with the Desmond family name he doesn't seem to care if people think familial relations are strained.

Poor kiddo, no wonder he seems happier in the dorms. I get that Melinda has her own stuff to deal with, but after last chapter's drama and how she went on about cooking for Damian, I expected her to at least eat with him. It's another comparison drawn between the Forger family and the Desmond family: the Forgers are all present at breakfast, and openly voice their concern for Anya, while Melinda straight up leaves the building and Damian only finds out she cooked from Jeeves.

The scenes with the other kids swooning over Damian, Becky, and Anya are cute, and of course getting another Stella goes to Anya's head a little bit. "Double Starlight Anya", really? 😂

This one made me chuckle out loud. And that little smirk on her face 😂

And Becky calling it like it is:

Also some of these rich Eden kiddos really need to touch grass once in a while. "Peasants" are people just like everyone else, and it's slightly appalling how these kids think that class makes a biological difference. As they get older, that can easily turn into bigotry.

The whiplash of Anya and Damian getting along somewhat to fighting to getting along again to fighting again is such an accurate depiction of little kids' friendships. Ten minutes is long enough to start and finish two separate wars.

And then we get this cute panel at the end, which sums all of that up nicely.

In conclusion, the fluff was strong in this chapter, but it wasn't a filler chapter, per se. The fluff was plot-relevant and moved the story along, as well as making a nice change from the last several chapters.

I do have a sneaking suspicion that this reprieve from the angst will be a brief one. My hunch is that either the next chapter or the one after that will take a hard left turn back into angst territory. See ya in two weeks!

#spy x family #spy x family spoilers #spy x family chapter 76 #spy x family manga #lea over analyzes fictional stuff again #long post

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wisehq · 3 years

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Mission Debrief: Chapter Forty-One

...Honestly, Yuri. Same.

Alright jokes aside, I know I'm about catch some flak for this, but- I'm cool with no Yor chapter this week. Yes, yes, kill the crow for even suggesting it. Get it out of your system. I'll wait.

Honestly though, we've had Yor chapters in the past. Not the kind we wanted (not dedicated chapters, aside from the whole cooking lesson at Camilla's house) but at least we know Yor and vaguely know her reasoning for her character. Yuri, on the other hand, is the neglected Briar. We know he works for the SSS and that he's a siscon, and...that's about it. Of the two siblings, Yuri desperately needed more character development. What we got this week was a hint of that; which I'll gladly take as it's more than we've gotten out of him in 40 chapters. Besides, his backstory is ultimately Yor's backstory, so in a sense we at least got something for her this week.

We got to see Yuri in action, and I'm glad he was portrayed as a dedicated and competent officer. One thing I appreciate about Endo is- when it comes to serious moments- he's very good about portraying his characters in a positive light. Such was the case this week; we see Yuri in multiple different roles within the SSS. He's in intelligence. He's in reconnaissance. He's out in the field. He's praised multiple times for his skill and perseverance, and honestly Yuri desperately needed it. Here he felt like an actual character, rather than a caricature.

With the focus on Yuri, we also get a glimpse into the SSS. We were already vaguely aware of what they were all about; a secret police that protect Ostania and uphold its ideals through any means necessary, though here we get a better picture of what that looks like. They also go after propaganda under the guise of rooting out espionage (we'll take more on that later), and a majority of the chapter centers around this.

This idea of counter-propaganda becomes important later on in the chapter and highlights one of the key strengths of both the manga and Endo; there is no black and white in this story. Our protagonists, Loid and Yor, the people we care about, frequently kill people on a regular basis- yet they're good people. We know they are, despite their actions saying otherwise. Yuri, meanwhile, is cast in an antagonistic light in comparison to Loid- but again, we know he's only an SSS agent for the sake of his sister and country. Does that make him a good person then? Maybe, maybe not. But that question of what is the truth remains, and it's one of the things that makes this manga so compelling.

Endo showcases this with Franklin as the chapter progresses. At first we take him at face-value; he's a down-on-his-luck guy who needs money and sells damning photos to underground printing presses. Seems cut and dry, until of course we find out that Franklin is a man with ideals like any other. He loves his country, though this love takes a very different form than Yuri's. He loathes the current state of things and genuinely wants to see Ostania prosper, but at the same time feels broken and disenfranchised. This of course also stemming from the untimely demise of his late mother.

It's at this point the concept of nothing being black-and-white returns as the driving force behind Yuri's character development. We see him empathize with Franklin over the latter's mother's death. Yuri tackles his missions with seemingly robotic efficiency, but here he falters for a moment. He sees a piece of himself in this "traitorous scum", and then just as quickly tosses it away. It's not a substantial change in his character- he doesn't become a different person or anything, but he's different now. If only a little bit. If only in the sense that he acknowledges Franklin and his plight in a way that he didn't before.

We see this manifest when Yuri goes to arrest Franklin. Despite his usual sharp tongue, Yuri assures him he'll try to help his father out financially. In just a few pages, we see Yuri going from wanting to kill Franklin over his behavior to wanting to help him (albeit in a small way). At the end of the day he's still SSS. He still has a duty to fulfill, and at up until this point he's been fulfilling it for 3 days straight with no rest. So what does that leave him?

A pat on the back from the Director, and a promise for some steaks later. Here Yuri doesn't seem phased by the day's events, and proudly proclaims he'll catch Twilight someday (much to the director's amusement). He seems his usual self...but we see at the end of the chapter that may not be the case.

A quick pop-in to the Forger house, and Anya gets a glance into what he's gone through. Even without psychic powers, it doesn't take much for the family to figure out he's had a rough day. He gets some more pats, only this time they're from his sister. The only family he has left, putting him in an uncomfortably similar position to Franklin. The only difference between them, really, is as Yuri says earlier; he would never do anything to harm his family. Whereas Franklin would risk everything for his ideals, Yuri works hard to prevent that from every happening.

By being an SSS agent.

By being a Ostanian dog, and shaking down and arresting anyone who would speak out against the government.

By that logic, he should be the bad guy and Franklin should be the good guy...but in this story, there is no right and wrong. Not truly. Everyone has something they're trying to achieve or protect, and everyone has different ways of going about doing that. All it depends is on whose eyes your looking through. In this chapter Yuri is our protagonist, but what about the next one?

Guess we'll just have to wait and find out.

Also, BONUS

WHY IS THIS FAMILY SO GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL!?

#spy x family #chapter forty-one

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dereksmcgrath · 3 years

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Seeing as Shueisha already commissioned a cookie display based on Magu-chan, if I don’t see a real-life version of this bento box on social media, I’ll be disappointed.

“A Destructive Luncheon,” Magu-chan: God of Destruction, Chapter 61. By Kei Kamiki, translation by Christine Dashiell, lettering by Annaliese “Ace” Christman. Available from Viz.

Potential spoilers for the potential final DLC in Smash Bros.

“Filler” gets derided frequently when it comes to manga and anime, although it’s a word that obviously can extend to other forms of entertainment, not just to other comics and animation but, in what is now the streaming age, any serialized narrative. Just look at any series order on Netflix and recognize those episodes that you anticipate are there just to fill up (“filler”) a minimum episode count, or “bottle episodes” to save on the budget before the next installment. Comics have to do the same for the sake of their budget of money, time, and energy: check out this week’s artwork from Spy x Family, as series creator Tatsuya Endo needed the break to work on additional edits for the series’ next collected volume.

“Filler” only bothers me when it is for a story that doesn’t actually contribute to anything. But that contribution can take so many forms that one person’s filler is another person’s favorite story, or another person’s story that really furthered a character’s progression, or is a story that will retroactively become important for some world-building detail it includes.

And just as “filler” refers to the unneeded flavorings and colorings in food products, sometimes you overlook those ingredients and just enjoy the item itself for your physical or emotional sustenance. Sometimes you just want that bag of Doritos or that donut, regardless whatever you know is in it that is just carbs or preservatives to get you raw energy or an emotional uplift.

It’s therefore appropriate that Chapter 61 of Magu-chan focuses on food. After how heavy the previous two-chapter arc was, something lighter and funnier is appreciated. While Chapter 61 doesn’t further plot too much or reveal too much new about the characters, it has solid gags and avoids a lot of the problems I’ve had with previous chapters, all while adding a legitimately funny gag around Uneras and not just making Muscar’s weakened form only the butt of the joke.

Starting with the title, “A Destructive Luncheon,” it’s odd how actually un-destructive the luncheon ultimately becomes. Sure, Magu’s attempt to bring the bento box to Ruru shakes up the contents too much to retain its original look, so it’s hardly that destructive, despite Magu himself being such an embodiment of chaos--a point that I’m glad Naputataku raised: I need to check the translation, but Napu referring to Magu as “mad” had connotations not just of anger but also chaos. The message is a solid one for this chapter, that even if the meal doesn’t look like you hoped, it’s still a hearty meal that had a lot of thought put into it, first by Ruru making it, then by Magu bringing it. And the message spoke to me personally, given how much I enjoy the taste of my own cooking even as the presentation is never getting me a prize on any cooking show. Plus, I’m an easy mark for Magu inadvertently quoting Soul Eater by saying the appearance of the meal is not what matters.

If there is any quibble I have off the top of my head, it’d be the setup for the story. Ruru oversleeps--but how was that possible? It feels like a panel or two are missing, something to show that, perhaps, Magu was up too late playing knockoff Smash Bros (before Tuesday when Sora gets announced as the new DLC) and he actually overslept and failed to wake Ruru in time. I want to be suspicious and pretend that there could be another reason: Ruru had to check her phone to see she overslept, so maybe something disrupted her phone? Would Muscar have done that? He was hanging around and did remark that he has gotten his fate-altering abilities stabilized. Or was it Uneras? She wasn’t here, aside from a brief, and well-done, gag about Izuma’s Dragon Quest-inspired meat lunch, so did she disrupt Ruru’s phone to set off a typical manga plot out of her own interest in such tropes and gags?

There are other gags I enjoyed in this chapter. Ruru’s shouting literally rocked her house, Magu had varied uses of his abilities as an umbrella, propeller, and a parachute (forgive me making yet another fighting game reference, but imagine Magu’s move-set in Smash or a similar game--so versatile). I also appreciated how the story made excuses to bring up minor characters, such as Magu realizing BS would likely eat the bento box instead of helping him transport it or Muscar progressing with his new form, or Magu being disturbed upon encountering a jackhammer for the first time. I’m almost surprised the series didn’t add the bartender Magu knows, if we’re going to mine out the supporting cast for additional appearances in this chapter.

And I always appreciate Naputaaku returning, this time indulging in a croquette, talking up details that make the foodie and cook in me gleeful, and his insistent desire to try Ruru’s cooking, both out of genuine goodwill interest to try her cooking and selfishness, making that “mouthful of destruction” laser beam, as Magu called it (great translation by Dashiell, by the way), earned and a satisfactory payoff to the joke.

While I did say that not much progressed in characterization, even as I did point out what new information we learned about Naputaaku, I did appreciate that brief moment where we’re to assume Magu is going to eat Ruru’s lunch before the reveal that of course he didn’t. That moment of heightened tension before sentimental payoff worked for me without being unearned or schmaltzy. It helps, in between Magu’s temptation to eat the bento box and his delivery of the box, that we get something heartwarming with Ren and Izuma offering some of their meals. It does make me wonder why we didn’t see the others dining with the rest of their occult club (although, I have forgotten whether Kikyo and Yuika are in the same class, and seeing as we gave them a lot of attention in the previous two chapters, it’s not like they strictly need to be in this one).

I also appreciate the new color page for this chapter, not just for seeing what Nosu Koshu’s color scheme is but also my appreciation that Shueisha and its editorial staff continue to give attention to this series. That cookie video at the beginning of this post is just one of a lot of marketing Shueisha has done on YouTube to promote the series. I know the volume sales in Japan have not been what Jump readers think are enough to keep the series afloat, but I’m enjoying this series for how long it lasts. It fills a gap in what is needed for light reading, for gags, and for slice of life stories--all of which I hope continues to let the series fill some gaps in comics and, maybe if it gets an animated adaptation, in anime, too. After all, Restaurant to Another World just had its second season start this week, along with its manga now available at Crunchyroll, so I would not object to another series with some food stories, too. I still say a Magu-chan series animated like The Way of the Househusband would satisfy me, and now that we have this food chapter, it just makes sense thematically.

#magu-chan: god of destruction #manga review

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writing-the-end · 4 years

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WS Chapter 50- Tomato Egg Soup

Previous Chapter

Masterpost

How many of yinz remember us teasing about this? A pretty funky name for such a serious chapter though! Less than ten chapters left in the story, the end is approaching fast.

Red belongs to @theguardiansofredland

Ecto belongs to @cooler-cactus-block

Selene belongs to @to-dem-stars

The egg isn’t in the room. A podium sits, bare and empty in the center of the barren cell. But marked against the red brick, Avon notices flecks of purple embers. Teleportation magic, the same that drifts out of portals. The same that’s left behind every time Selene teleports. The egg was here- but someone disturbed it.

“Endo must’ve touched it before she left.” Avon whispers, brushing a purple spark into the air. It drifts slowly, but in a deliberate direction. “How will we find one egg in all of the nether, it could have gone anywhere in that direction!”

“Hey, hey. Calm down and think.” Red tugs on Avon’s wing, trying to get her to breathe. All three are sweating against the heat, the sound of hell all around them. “You’ve been wrangling this egg for years, how do you normally find it?”

Avon growls, but Ecto’s comforting touch does give her calm. “It...It likes high places. I often find it on the top of the obsidian towers back home.”

“So we should look for the tallest structure here.” Ecto grins. “That’s not so bad. Let’s go get it.” Ecto sprints down the hall, only caught by Red a minute later.

“The hellspawns can’t see that you escaped, or they’ll all be after us.” Red whispers, shoving a bottle of invisibility potion into Ecto’s hand.

“Right, stealthy.” As much as Ecto wants to go running into a fight, she knows that’s just suicide. They want to get out of this alive. Ecto wants to get out of this with her friends by her side.

“You two keep looking for the egg, once you find it signal me like when you found Ecto.” Avon perches at the edge of the bridge, the red and orange soup below her boiling. “Don’t scare it, or it could teleport again. And...be careful. If you risk being seen, abandon the mission. I can’t lose you two.” Avon tips off the bridge, wings opening and catching the rising hot air. She weaves between the pillars, below where anyone would think to look for her.

Ecto and Red turn, uncorking the disgusting potion. Ecto grimaces. “Bottoms up.”

They both disappear, listening to the other’s footsteps to keep up as they flee the prison.. Ecto remembers seeing a tall tower while she was spying around. Even if the egg isn’t up there, they can get a view of other potential places it could have gone. “I can’t believe we’re chasing an egg.”

“Jeane’s baby is a clever little thing, that’s for sure.” Red chuckles. The fortress seems to have calmed down, making him wonder where Selene is. Did she tire out and retreat? He knows she’s too fast to get caught, and she’d only break out as soon as she was rested again. His girlfriend can simply outsmart anyone she meets.

The pair slip between hellspawns, feeling the heat roll off the hair, glowing off their bodies. Born in fire, made in the image of someone else. Someone from the overworld. Red wonders who these people are. Are they different, like Red and Ecto are? Lost, searching for friends and family? Or maybe they have their home, resting easy and unaware of the war brewing beneath their feet.

“There it is!” Ecto cheers, picking up the pace as she spots the ebony shell of the egg. They aren’t the first to find the egg.

The three hellspawns are standing over it. Blu reaches forward, about to nudge the egg with his sword. Nova grabs his arm at the last minute, hissing at him. Endo squats low, that dead gaze boring a hole into the egg. While Nova and Blu start to argue- again- Endo is silent, eyes lifting in a slow, steady pace. Staring at where Ecto and Red are. The two duck away, pressing against the wall of the bridge. Red peeks up the stairs, dodging the sight of the tallest hellspawn. “She can’t see us… right? We’re still invisible.”

“Maybe she heard us.” Ecto hisses, looking over the brick wall. Watching the flaming trio as they surround the egg. “She must’ve scared the egg, causing it to teleport.”

“How are we going to grab it without them seeing us? Or without scaring the baby as well?” If Ecto could see Red’s face, she would see eyes brimming with worry, forehead creased with concern. And lips low from fear.

“We do it quickly.” Ecto winks, though she realizes a second later that no one saw it. Red can only hear as Ecto stands, clambering atop the fence posts that rise up the stairs. Hear the soft plod of one foot jumping from rod to rod.

Ecto is so close, she can feel the heat of her opposite. All she has to do is reach in, grab the egg and run. There’s no need to distract, no need to do anything crazy like before. She reaches through their legs, fingers about to brush the cool egg shell.

Endo’s foot steps harshly on Ecto’s wrist, pinning her hand down and causing the desert rascal to cry out. Blu picks up the egg, hugging it close to his chest with a manic smile. Nova leans over, that charismatic grin beaming and blinding Ecto. “Quite clever, that escape of yours. But not clever enough.” Nova shoves a warm glass of milk into Ecto’s face. “Both of you drink up before we cook this egg sunny side up.”

“I’ll say I’m surprised the weakest one came for you.” Endo mumbles, staring down Red as she reappears. An empty bottle of milk clatters to the ground at her feet. Both wanderers are visible now. “Is it that you need this one so much, or because the other left you behind?”

“None of that’s true!” Red cries out, crawling up the stairs. She tries to nab the egg from Blu’s hands, but he simply tosses it to Endo.

“Either way, now we have all three wanderers separated. You can’t stop us, not the two of you. Two idiots does not make one smart person.” Endo looks at Nova and Blu, spinning the egg between her hands. “Trust me, I know.”

Nova plucks the egg from Endo’s arms, running her fingers across the purple patches. “What about the egg, Endo? It keeps escaping.”

Endo shrugs, grinning as she looks down at Ecto and Red. A dark, evil grin, cracking through the emotionless face. One that makes Red shrink away. Her words are like daggers of ice through the heart. “We don’t really need it. Go on, Blu. Destroy the egg.”

Blu snatches the massive shell from Nova’s shocked face. “With pleasure!” He lifts it over his head.

“No!” Ecto screams, kicking Endo in the back. Freeing herself with a smooth backflip. Together, Red and Ecto reach for the egg.

Red tries to grab the egg from Blu’s hand. Tries to grab it before he can throw it, before danger can ever befall it. But Red misses.

Ecto tries to grab the egg from the air. Tries to grab it before it can fall, over the edge and down into the sea of lava.

But Ecto misses.

Red and Ecto can only watch helplessly as the egg reaches its zenith, well beyond the fencepost surrounding the tower. It falls in slow motion, towards the soupy lava far below. Everything moves in slow motion. Ecto and Red rush to the fence, reaching out for one last impossible attempt to grab the egg. But it’s already beyond their reach.

The egg, and all the hopes and dreams it carries with it, falls to the lava. The last dragon, a thousand years waiting for the right moment to hatch. Plummeting to a burning death below. All a horrible game for the hellspawns. A trap, a lure for the wanderers. Sprung, and left with them cackling behind the pair. Reveling in the horror as embers start to rise higher than the egg is falling.

The lava sizzles, burning and bubbling. A black blur crosses paths with the falling egg. Embers burn against the fluttering purple cloak, put out by the wingbeats as Avon rises up to the tower. In her arms is the egg, snug against her body. Not even an ash stain on it. Her wings unfurl, cresting above her head in a midnight halo of scales. The lava beneath her illuminates her face, painting fierce shadows across her cheeks. Her purple cloak flutters to the side, caught in the warm updraft of the lava and the beat of her wings. “You’ve lost your bargaining chip, I’m afraid.”

“Hell yeah!” Ecto shouts, grabbing at Avon’s cloak. Red latches onto Ecto’s lanky legs, and the three careen onto a broken bridge, the intersection long crumbled into the lava below. Their landing is not so graceful, Avon throwing the weight of the other two off her and crashing into a ball around the egg.

From the tower, they can hear the hellspawns arguing and swearing. An arrow lands near the three, the tip burning bright fire. “You wanderers can’t run forever! There is nowhere you can go that we won’t find you!”

Nova is standing on the fence posts, another arrow knocked into Blu’s bow. She opens her mouth to shout something else, before something red strikes the boastful hellspawn in the lip. Both Red and Avon turn, seeing Ecto tossing another netherwart up and down in her hand. “Her voice really annoys me.”

“We share the same voice.” Avon points out.

“Her’s is too high pitched, too happy. It’s like listening to a parrot talk.” Ecto tosses the wart over her shoulder. “Let’s blow this joint, I think I’m tired of the red palette.”

As if by magic, or more so coincidence, the frame of an obsidian portal appears before them. Selene’s face peeks through, winking at her partner and his friends. “Thought you guys were just about finished. Let’s get you guys back to wandering.”

The three jump into the portal, nearly escaping a volley of arrows sent across by Blu. Once the three wanderers are crashing into each other in the soft grass of the overworld, Selene destroys the portal. Ecto rolls off the other two, stretching across the grass. Feeling the cool relief of the nighttime on her skin. She’s never been so happy to see a tree in her life. A laugh bubbles up from Ecto’s chest. “I can’t believe we just did that.”

“What, escaped the nether? Or go into it in the first place?” Avon flutters her wings to standing, her grip still tight on the egg.

“Both. And got the egg back.” Ecto still can’t believe they came for her. To rescue her. They really are her friends.

Red leaps onto Ecto’s back, peering over her shoulder at the egg. “So this is it? Jeane’s baby? When’s it going to hatch?”

Avon looks down at the egg. She was more focused on Ecto, finally having all three together again. Together and without fighting. She can’t help but laugh. “The egg has been in stasis for a thousand years, waiting for the right time to hatch.”

Both Ecto and Red get pouty faces. Red crawls over Ecto, somersaulting over her head and plopping in front of the egg. “So...not tomorrow? What about next week?”

The forest rings with laughter, the wanderers and Selene letting out the tension of their bodies release in their voices. They huddle close, enjoying each other’s company. Red and Selene cuddle close, while Ecto and Avon find rest on each other’s shoulders. Food is passed around, reaching across the egg for sweet berries or a fresh cooked steak.

As the sun rises, shades of pink and yellow arching across the open sky, the stars slowly disappearing as the sun grows brighter. For Avon, it’s a relief to be in the open air, free from the confines of the nether. It was Selene’s voice that breaks the peace. “There’s a war coming. You all saw it.”

The wanderers look at each other, not willing to admit what they know is true. Red looks to Avon. “What will us four do? We can’t beat that many people, no matter how clever we are.”

“I...I don’t know. “ Avon admits. She’s never been in something this big, this complex. “We need to prepare, arm ourselves. We need…”

“We need more people. People who are willing to fight, for the overworld and to be different. People unique and weird like us.” The way Ecto says weird, it’s not a curse. It’s a compliment.

“The hermits?” Red questions.

“And others. Other people who call our world home, willing to stand up.” Ecto adds. There are others across this world. Just as unique and different as each wanderer. Just as special.

Red’s lip quivers. She doesn’t want to fight, she wishes they could find some other way. To battle without death, without ruining lives. If only there was a way for the hellspawns so see that things are better when people are different.

But who would listen to him?

#wandering stars #ecto #avon #red #selene #minecraft #mineblr #minesona #mcsona #minecraft persona #writing

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thedarkivist · 5 years

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Quirked-Up

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Inko wanted to cry. The woman sitting opposite her either didn’t notice or didn’t care, because she repeated herself:

“And what does your husband think about it?”

She shouldn’t have agreed to meet Endo Masami. They weren’t particularly close during their high school years and weren’t it for social media, they would not keep in touch at all. In fact, it came as a surprise to Inko when the other suggested catching up over coffee. The invitation came at the best possible time, because it had been a rough week in the Midoriya household, and she desperately needed to get out for two or three hours. Between work, taking care of Izuku, and Hisashi’s absence, she hardly had ten minutes just to herself – if an old acquaintance wanted to meet up, Inko didn’t see any reason to question it.

And now she regretted it.

“About Izuku being Quirkless? He’s very supportive.”

Inko absent-mindedly brought another bite of cake to her lips.

Yes. Supportive. Very supportive. First of all, he assured her that he didn’t blame her, as if that was the point. It was not about her, it was not about her husband, it was about their son whose dreams of being a hero were crushed before they could even begin. It was about their son, who was Quirkless in a society that judged people by their Quirks. He was set out for a life of hardship and there was not a thing Inko could do about it.

Supportive. Midoriya Supportive Hisashi.

Damn.

“You know,” Endo started, “I wanted to see you about a business opportunity and now I think you could really benefit from it.”

“I have a job,” Inko replied weakly. She had a feeling where that was going and she prayed she was wrong.

“No, hear me out, it’s a fantastic opportunity! Basically, I’m looking for new girls for my team and you’d be the perfect fit – you’d be helping other people grow and you’d have more time for Izuku too. You’d be your own boss! Like, it allowed me to quit my full-time job and so I can be at home with my babies, while working from my phone. As a mother, I appreciate the flexibility and the cash it brings home, because they just grow so fast and I always felt guilty leaving them with a babysitter. These memories you make when the children are little, these are what’s important, don’t you think? A mother shouldn’t have to prioritise her job over the well-being of her babies.”

Inko was pretty sure Endo just called her a horrible mother while trying to pitch her a scam. The worst part was, something similar had happened several times since the news of Izuku’s Quirklessness got out.

“I’ll think about it,” Inko lied politely.

“You should! We’re changing lives, Midoriya. We could even help your son!” Endo sounded eager and sincere. A picture of reliability. A smart, elegant businesswoman with her sleek ponytail and mint blazer. Despite her better judgement, Inko had to ask.

“… help Izuku?”

“Yes, certainly! The company offers a wide range of all-natural Quirk-enhancers. Many people are misdiagnosed as Quirkless, because we are all surrounded by toxins from processed food and all the plastic surrounding us. With a proper cleanse, the energy necessary for a Quirk to manifest can flow freely. He could be cured! You could be so proud of him!”

Inko blinked, then looked down into her cup. The realisation she wanted to slap Endo Masami hit her with force that took her breath away. When she spoke up, her voice was barely above whisper. “I couldn’t be more proud of him. He’s a sweet boy. I… this was a bad idea. Sorry. I have to go.”

“Midoriya-”

“I have to go now. Goodbye.”

Inko got up, paid at the counter and left quickly, relieved that Endo didn’t follow her. She couldn’t cry, not when she was in public.

She didn’t cry picking up Izuku from the neighbours’. She didn’t cry while cooking dinner. She didn’t cry when putting her son to bed. She didn’t have the time.

Before Inko knew it, she was in her bed, staring at the ceiling, too tired to cry.

................................

Inko closed the door to the kitchen. Izuku had been watching the footage from the UA Sports Festival and she just couldn’t watch – or hear – him shatter his fingers for the hundredth time that day.

Instead, she put on the radio and started preparing dinner while her boy did… whatever he was doing there with those recordings.

Her phone chirped, announcing a text message. Endo Masami. Inko could say it was a pleasant surprise, or she could be honest.

> Congratulations! I just watched the Sports Festival, you must be so proud of Izuku.

Inko raised her eyebrows slightly. After all those years of silence…

> Thank you, he worked very hard.

> If I sent you a little testimonial could you post it to your profile? I’m about to hit a HUUUGE promotion and it would help me tons. Thanks <3 <3 <3

She wanted to ask if the testimonial would imply Izuku owed his success to whatever supplements Endo was selling, but she didn’t want to come off as abrasive.

> Can you show it to me first?

> Sure, girl! Copy and paste this: Do you want to be a hero in your everyday life too? My friend, Endo Masami has just the thing for you! PM me for more details about Quirked-Up and Quirked-Up Pro line of supplements~ <3 Maybe you could include a pic of Izuku to get more people’s attention? Thanks a bunch <3

Inko carefully read the message over and then blocked Endo on every platform she could think of. She looked at the postcard with All Might on the fridge and shook her head, as if to say ‘can you believe this bullshit?’.

The postcard remained silent.

................................

Looking at the poster of All Might in the living room during intimate moments always felt weird to Inko. As she found out, it got significantly less weird when it was All Might in person above her, kissing her neck and holding onto her hip like his life depended on it.

Or it was weirder, she couldn’t tell.

She draped her arms around Toshinori, pulling him closer. A breathless giggle escaped her lips as his hot breath tickled her ear. And his hands… well, it would be faster to say where they were not.

“Toshi, I swear to-”

The doorbell rang. They both groaned in frustration.

“We could pretend no one’s home,” he whispered, tucking a strand of loose hair behind Inko’s ear. His large warm hand grazed her cheek as he did so.

“I left the lights on.”

“Shit.”

They got up. Inko hurried to the door while buttoning up her blouse. Toshinori made himself busy straightening up the living room and putting back on the coffee table magazines that fell off earlier, during… events.

“I’m coming!”

Inko opened the door. Immediately, she wanted to shut the door once more.

“Endo. What a… surprise.”

She breezed past Inko into the apartment, kicking off her shoes and Inko wanted to be surprised and offended at such behaviour, but she was too confused to do either in that moment.

“I was in the neighbourhood, and I thought to myself – what is Midoriya up to? So I dropped by, I hope I’m not disturbing?”

“Actually-”

“Anyway, Quirked-Up has a new line, and it’s amazing. If there was ever a perfect moment to join, it’s right now. I just happen to have the newest catalogue with me, as well as some samples, so how about we go through it together?”

“I really-”

“There are also some new weight loss supplements you could try. You don’t have to be single forever, it’s time to take control of your own life! Find someone new!”

“Please, don’t, I really like you!” Toshinori called from the living room, laughing.

Endo paused. “Who was that?”

Inko cleared her throat. “My partner.”

He poked his head into the hall and smiled. “Yagi Toshinori. Pleased to meet you, Ms...”

“Endo. Masami. Endo Masami,” the brunette stammered out. “Are you-”

He gave that soft chuckle Inko adored. “I’m afraid so.”

Her eyes lit up. She looked like a kitten seeing snow for the first time. Or, more accurately, a shark smelling blood. “Oh. Great! The both of you should hear this. To make a long story short, Quirked-Up-”

“I think you need to leave,” Inko said through gritted teeth.

“Midoriya, what are you...”

She looked down, her lips drawn into a tight line. She had to take a deep breath, just so she wouldn’t scream. “Right now. Thank you.”

There was a moment of tense silence.

“You never supported me, Midoriya. You’d never even hear me out because you’re envious of me.”

Inko stepped back, as if Endo slapped her. “What? What are you talking about?”

“Just admit it!”

Inko could practically feel the anger bubbling up through her, threatening to overflow any second.

“Fine! I’m sorry you only ever contact me when you want something. I’m sorry you made me feel like a bad mum. I’m sorry you wanted to use Izuku for your own gain. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” She marched over to the door and held it open for Endo. “Goodbye. You shouldn’t waste your time with unsupportive people.”

Endo gathered her stuff, her head held high.

“You two won’t last,” she spat out before she left.

It was only when Toshinori gently closed the door that Inko realised her hands were shaking. She leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. Suddenly, she felt exhausted, but, at the same time, as if a great weight was lifted from her shoulders.

“What was that about?” Toshinori asked softly.

She reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose. “I’ll tell you all about it. But first...”

“Yes?”

“Could we finish that thing from earlier?”

Inko could see the smile tugging at the corners of Toshi’s lips. “I think we could do that.”

#toshinkoweek #toshinko #toshinkoweek2019

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yourghastlycloseness · 4 years

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yeah the department meeting depressed the hell out of me and convinced me that i’m terribly unfulfilled at work, but also, that maybe all that comes from within and i will carry this sadness in me everywhere i go

because everyone else my age seems to be coping alright, even if they’re not doing excellently

they actually have dreams and strive for healthy human relationships

meanwhile, i can’t seem to reciprocate or reach out, nor do i really want to

maybe this just isn’t the job for me

my colleagues are sweet and competent people, though. honestly, bosses don’t get better than this

one of them gave me a book voucher today haha which i spent immediately on endo’s silence

‘of course it’s jap lit,’ said C

yes, of course lol. i’d actually like to research japanese literature more seriously

i’ve got women court writers from the heian period like sei shonagon and murasaki shikibu on my reading list

was watching a ballet dancer break down yuzuru hanyu’s chopin program at pyeongchang. what i didn’t notice before was how hanyu doesn’t quite breathe through his mouth at the end of a performance; he breathes through his nose instead, so he -- and other figure skaters, i assume -- ends every performance with composure and grace and not like the panting monsters most of us are

what makes hanyu so pleasing to watch? the ballet dancer explained that when you put two dancers of equal ability side-by-side, the one with the ‘better face’ will be chosen. ‘better’ could mean more physically attractive. an expressive face with more structure and definition -- something you should be able to see from afar

that reminded of the heavy make-up they used for the actors in drama club

i can’t deny that part of hanyu’s magnetic appeal is how he looks

i should admit, too, that a part of me is so envious that a person can move the way he does. why do i desire to possess everything that is beautiful?

years ago, my therapist asked me a question that still sticks with me: ‘can you look at beautiful person and not think about wanting that beauty?’

simply put, my answer is no

i see a beautiful person and i want to be them

i don’t care if they’re dirt poor or if they have tragic family backgrounds or if they’re dumb as fuck or if they’ve raped and murdered 20 people

i want beauty and i want it all à la sharpay evans

later caught a podcast on suicide by a catholic pastor -- it wasn’t my intention to catch a christian podcast. i was thinking about killing myself again and wanted to hear people talk about suicide without skirting around the subject

i am only 17 minutes in but i am comforted by what the pastor said

he makes two interesting points

i) that we don’t know where a person who commits suicide ends up, but what we do know is that he goes to jesus, and god will make the judgement -- he does away with this idea of immediate and eternal condemnation for the act of suicide

ii) that doctors and clergymen have to work together to help people out of depression and to stop people from committing suicide

but there are points i disagree with

i) the pastor says that suicide can cut short this ‘plan’ that god has for you (it is believed that god has a plan for everyone) -- OK, but what if the plan was for me to precisely end my life at the age of 25, and to make others realize that this isn’t the right thing to do. alternatively, what if i were a homicidal pedophile in the making, where such tendencies would reach its peak in my thirties? coincidentally, i happen to be struggling with depression and ended up taking my own life before i could harm anyone else. what if suicide was the plan after all? it is a possibility to consider.

ii) the pastor argues very firmly that suicide is ‘sin’ for it brings pain to the people around you -- can you honestly say the same about elderly suicides? or about people who have lost all their family? we have to accept that there are people out there who aren’t loved, whose bodies are replaceable (think foxconn, sweatshops)

we don’t have enough information to make a blanket moral judgement that all suicide is sin

i won’t call myself a non-believer; i went through a phase of superficial pantheism haha where i saw god as the universe and the universe as god, but i no longer identify too closely with that, partly because i was working hard to fill a spiritual void back then and pantheism was the closest thing i could find to an antidote

christianity, or any institutionalized religion for that matter, has never made sense to me

simply for this reason: we don’t know if god exists

when we don’t know, we can choose to:

i) maintain that we don’t know (ie. god may or may not exist)

ii) assume the positive (ie. god exists)

iii) assume the negative (ie. god doesn’t exist)

ii) and iii) never made sense to me at all. this has been the main obstacle for me. i actually tried to get into religion between 2014-2015 lol

something else i don’t believe in: judgement before god

maybe i’m not understanding the bible correctly (frankly, i wanted to fall asleep after the first page of genesis), but how can you judge my lived experience when you have never had to live as a mere mortal with no extraordinary destiny or circumstances yourself?

i refuse to be judged by something like that

i cook like a sissy

i hold the spatula at an arm’s length away and i approach the pan from a 45 degree angle so that i don’t get hot oil splattering onto my forearm

suicide ideas

a few ways i’m thinking of committing suicide right now. i think i mentioned method #1 on my old blog, but not the others. i’m filing them all here for reference. these are what worked:

1. MBS - death of wilim/willim charles

https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/man-who-fell-from-52nd-floor-of-mbs-probably-committed-suicide-coroner

https://www.asiaone.com/print/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/Crime/Story/A1Story20130516-423065.html

A tourist, whose body was badly severed in the fall from the 52nd floor of the Marina Bay Sands Hotel last June, was likely to have committed suicide, a coroner court heard on Tuesday.

The head and torso of Mr Wilim Charles were found on a 17th floor balcony while his legs were found in the fountain on the ground floor. Other parts of him were scattered about.

In his findings, State Coroner Imran Abdul Hamid noted that Mr Charles had used a deck chair to climb over the 1.1m-tall glass barricade of the balcony, stepped onto the planter's box and fallen to his death.

He was last seen alive smoking a cigar seated at a desk in the suite by the butler who came to carry Ms Lee's bags down at about 4pm. Casino records showed that although he was a Diamond Reward member, he was not a frequent gambler, having last played on April 14 last year. There was also about $43,000 in cash in the suite.

i like how he died. pretty fancy to be described as being ‘last seen alive smoking a cigar seated at a desk’ and having ‘$43,000 in cash in the suite’. i’m getting noir vibes all around haha

i’m not a fan of body parts being scattered about though. so i might want to bring this down to maybe the 30th-40th floor if i decide to attempt it like he did

2. kushiro coast -- death of wei qiu jie

https://japantoday.com/category/national/Body-found-on-Kushiro-coast-may-be-that-of-missing-Chinese-woman

https://www.scmp.com/news/china/society/article/2108965/body-confirmed-be-chinese-tourist-missing-japan

The body of a young woman was discovered along the coastline of Kushiro City, Hokkaido, on Sunday. Police believe the body may be that of Wei Qiu Jie, 26, a Chinese woman who has been missing since July 23.

Around 6 a.m. on Sunday, a man who was kelp fishing along the beach at Katsurakoi, discovered the body that had washed ashore and immediately notified the police, Fuji TV reported. The woman had long hair and was wearing a beige skirt and white blouse, similar to the clothes Wei was wearing when she was last seen.

She had left her hotel in Sapporo on July 22 for the day, leaving some of her luggage behind, but never returned.

Police later discovered she checked into a hotel at Akan Lake, about 300km from Sapporo, the same night she left Sapporo.

Witnesses said she boarded a tour boat at the lake and was last seen on surveillance camera footage at a convenience store in the nearby coastal city of Kushiro on July 23.

i like this one because i’m seeing millais’ ophelia in the water. the painting has been my laptop lock screen wallpaper for years haha

unfortunately, i’m a pretty alright swimmer. i imagine that i’d fight really hard if i tried to drown myself. i’d probably need to weigh myself down with a lot of rocks in my pockets (like virigina woolf) and bind my arms and legs when i go into the water

3. burning coal briquettes in a hotel room -- death of kim jong-hyun

https://www.straitstimes.com/lifestyle/entertainment/jonghyun-lead-singer-for-south-korean-boyband-shinee-dies-reports

K-pop group SHINee member Kim Jong Hyun, 27, died on Monday (Dec 18) in an apparent suicide, according to local reports.

Police found him unconscious at 6.10pm Korea time in his own apartment located in Cheongdam-dong, in the upscale Gangnam district, after his sister made a report at 4.42pm saying that her brother seemed suicidal.

The YTN news channel, however, reported that Mr Kim had checked into a serviced residence for two nights.

Mr Kim was taken to a nearby hospital, but eventually died.

Reports suggested he died of cardiac arrest from suspected carbon monoxide poisoning.

He was found to have burned a coal briquette on a frying pan. Charcoal briquettes can cause carbon monoxide poisoning in closed rooms.

i would probably choose a hotel room that comes with a kitchenette in tokyo. i went to seoul alone to get a feel of the city as a resting place, but it didn’t vibe with me as much as tokyo did

4. yellowknife, ingraham trail - death of atsumi yoshikubo

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/north/atsumi-yoshikubo-wrote-a-suicide-note-before-leaving-japan-1.2825863

Yoshikubo, 45, was a doctor who enjoyed travelling solo. She was reported missing Oct. 27, 2014 by staff at the Explorer Hotel.

Staff at the Explorer Hotel, where she was staying by herself, found all of her luggage in her room three days after she was supposed to have checked out. They called police, who found she'd missed her flight home to Japan on Oct. 26.

At the time, police said she had been last seen walking away from the city toward Highway 4, also called the Ingraham Trail.

Because investigators found only bone fragments, they couldn't determine exactly what caused Yoshikubo's death.

They did find two notes left by Yoshikubo: one, an apparent suicide note for friends and family in Japan; the other, found by searchers with her possessions in the bush in Yellowknife.

"It included... how much she loved the North, how much she loved Yellowknife, how much she loved the aurora," Menard said. "She expressed her wishes about wanting to be buried here."

unfortunately, we don’t know how exactly yoshikubo died.

but i imagine there are many ways one could die in the woods. starvation, dehydration, hypothermia, bear attack (if i’m going to go down like leo in the revenant, i expect an afterlife oscar)

i imagine it would be nice to die in the north toohttps://www.straitstimes.com/lifestyle/entertainment/jonghyun-lead-singer-for-south-korean-boyband-shinee-dies-reports

other suicides cases i’ve read about and will KIV when considering methods:

kate spade

christine chubbuck

sulli

hara

sylvia plath

krystal aki mizoguchi

daul kim

iris chang

kevin carter

paula goodspeed

keiko fuji

yukiko okada

simone mareuil

hanging is ideal to me. but man, what if i don’t get the knot right lol

#suicide

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