#I know I'm really slow updating TLC right now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mozart-the-meerkitten · 3 months

Text

CW/TW- Pet Death

So last night I asked for prayers for me and my parents because we'd had a really rough and emotionally trying day. I will now explain. This is, unfortunately, also a Kitten Update on my Bengal kittens, so if you've become emotionally invested in them and aren't up for reading this right now, look away and come back to it another time. Or just don't come back to it. Alright, disclaimer over, you've been warned.

Alright, I'm going to keep this as succinct as possible to try and limit how much I end up crying.

We took the six girl kittens to get spayed yesterday.

Tulip, the littlest kitten, Leeli's runt, had a heart condition we didn't know about. It's all but invisible, there are barely any signs and there is no way to know it exists without special tests being done which we never even thought to do because we had never had an issue with it before and we have had Bengal cats for a long time.

They put Tulip under anesthesia and during the procedure her heart just... stopped. They did everything they could to revive her, they gave her CPR, they gave her epinephrine, but it didn't work. She died.

The vet said she likely had a heart condition where the heart walls thicken and it takes more and more effort then for the heart to beat. My mom looked it up and usually by the time symptoms are visible the cat only has 3-6 months to live. There is no cure, all they can do is slow it down/improve symptoms.

I realized, and shared with my parents, that Tulip was already showing symptoms. She always tired out before the other kittens, she slept more than them, when she was littler she'd come and fall asleep on me because she knew I'd keep other kittens from pouncing on her. Two days ago I'd left Madia and Tulip in my room for maybe 10-15 minutes and they were waking up from a nap, so I assumed they'd be tearing around when I got back. They were curled up on my bed again and I thought that was odd, but...

But Tulip was little, she was the runt, there was no reason to question these things because they're not uncommon behavior for runts (being smaller they have less energy/stamina). And she was as fiesty as any Bengal kitten we'd ever had. A few days ago I saw her attack Farid, her brother, who is over a FULL POUND heavier than her, and start beating him up. She gained weight, she ate well, she acted like a normal kitten!

She was already showing symptoms at 4-6 weeks old, maybe earlier. 3-6 months to live (usually) after symptoms show up. Her heart stopped when she was 4 months old.

It was basically as if we'd had her put to sleep. She felt no pain, she didn't even know. She just fell asleep.

There was no happier kitten in existence than Tulip. That little baby would purr like a MOTOR if you were in the ROOM with her, not even if you were holding her, petting her or playing with her. She just purred ALL THE TIME. She was such a sweet little bug that you couldn't get mad at her. All she knew was happiness and love, and like my mom said, there aren't many cats or people that's true of. She had the happiest kittenhood, the happiest life that any cat could ever have. Her siblings knew that their baby sister needed extra TLC so they made sure to always snuggle around her, Madia went slower so her baby sister could keep up, they loved her, they loved her, they loved her.

Tulip was going to die soon, we just didn't know it. At least this way, God gave us some answers and reasons as to why. I told my mom yesterday that this was simply her span of days, and it was short but very bright.

I named her after a spring flower. Tulips have a short season and then they fade. Tulip's season was short but vibrant and full of life. And when I thought about it today, about if I would have rather had her just not be born alive so I didn't have to go through the grief of losing her after I'd known her...

I couldn't imagine a world where I hadn't experienced that baby's life. I'd do it all over again. Her span of days was short but bright and I was with her every day of her life. I was her forever. And I loved her and I loved her and I loved her.

This was not my fault, I did everything right, I have no regrets. Sometimes things happen that are out of our control. She would never have lived long, but I gave her the best life any kitten could ever have.

Tulip is buried in my Hideout, in the Gnarled Forest, next to Dora. There is no higher honor I could give her than that.

All the others kittens came thought surgery fine and are recovering.

#cw pet death #tw pet death #bengal cats #kittens #tulip the kitten #tulip #my heart is broken #but I literally could not imagine a world where I didn't know her #there would have always been this little hole in my heart where tulip should have been #her life was so so happy #madia is the most sensitive kitten and so OF COURSE she would notice tulip needed extra tlc #OF COURSE she would slow down and specifically play with her little sister #so she didn't get lost in the shuffle of eleven kittens #I have video of tulip purring she just-#she purred when we PUT HER TO BED AT NIGHT #she purred when I PUT HER IN HER CRATE TO GO GET SPAYED YESTERDAY #I scooped her up and cuddled her a minute because she was just PURRING #I just feel so wrung out today #I should be bawling but I think I cried all my tears yesterday #I just feel kind of hollow and sad now #on the flipside though everything makes sense #the little promptings I've been feeling about her since I could distinguish her from her siblings #how much attention I gave her even though she wasn't the kitten I was keeping #I have SO MANY pictures of her #I have more thoughts but I don't have the energy to dissect them all right now/#I think I should make a post specifically about them #anyway #this little baby was so precious and she will NOT be forgotten #I had already had thoughts about a book series where she and madia were the main characters #she will NOT be forgotten

4 notes · View notes

bittybattybunny · 3 years

Note

A novel?! That's so cool!! Can't wait to see!! Life is kicking my ass right now so I haven't been able to read any fics :'( I'm a slow reader a d I like to take my time...but! Next week I'll be able to relax and one of my favorite ways of doing it is by reading fics!! I kind of got behind TLC but I'll be able to have a full marathon then :D

That’s the idea!

Tbh I’ve actually debated it for a while cuz like TLC is already so fucking canon divergent and I’ve basically written my own lore so extensive I’d need to make a powerpoint somedays.

Like really I’d just need to change a few names (Subcon Snatcher, Nyakuza, Moonjumper, DJ Grooves) and do a lil redesigning (Like Hattie probs will get more curly hair like Ru has, Ru’s leviathan form will be the Natural Leviathan form with a couple tweaks, Redesigning the cryptic, redesigning the Moonjumper design (tho Ive actually already redone Sena’s Twilight demon form so I’ll need to futz with Morgan and Marcus)

And I think it could be good to swap over!!

Plus if I do this once I finish the fanfiction I can rewrite and reorganize the plot because it’s changed soooo much. like rn I’m pretty on course for the rest of the fic and Know what i’m doing but earlier on I can changed a lot of details during the course of writing that I wanna kinda retailor. Plus I can go into more details in the earlier bits when I was getting back into the swing of writing!

Like it’ll be a lot of work I mean it’s a god damn monster

but I think I’d break it up and change it up to fit more in volumes---

so like volume one would be Hattie meeting snatcher and Snatcher’s adapting to life on land and would end when he’s in the swing/his feelings tart forming (so around sun festival/moon festival)

Volume two would be the section I’m currently in progress of posting with Him swapping from the “im a lonely grouchy eel” to “I’m a dad and I think Im in love” and his relationship with eclipse and would end probs around a big angst event coming up :3 (yeah look forward to that)

Volume 3 would be what I normally call “climax” whenever i bring it up in regards to TLC and it’s the part I’ve hinted a lot of what’s going to happen but I’ve been kinda tight lipped on other wise and would be the final volume with a potential epilogue for the story (and this is the part I’m currently typing for tlc and it’s had mouse screaming when she realized what was happening and that its finally happening cuz she and gin know what i have planned but not how it goes down)

Other things I’ve considered is a few ‘spin off’ books to go with the main 3 (also notice i kept it in 3s? I like 3.) Like the actual story of Hattie’s parents (probs expand it to be a solo novel), probs a like ‘lore’ book (think the gravity falls journals0 that explains the demons, religions and stuff I’ve created

And of course there’s a few other things I’d plan >u> but I’ll keep a lil hush (but a hint is it may involve ‘alternate realities’ tied to tlc) because this is all still a huge ‘maybe’ and will happen when the main fic is done and I have a lil more time on my hands/health improves (tho tbh past week I’ve been dealing with the fact one reason my hip was so fucked for like all of 2021 may have been MY FUCKING SHOES and I’m so mad at how much pain I was in for such a stupid thing)

if you can’t tell this isn’t like a sudden thought thing I’ve actually been thinking about this since... I want to say I’ve considered this since when I was posting the sun festival chapters!

ahhh I hope you enjoy!!! tbh I’m unsure if I’ll update this week and next or not. I have the chapters done and covers sketched but I’m so nervous posting these chapters blah (nothing bad in them. I think i’ve mentioned just. mental barriers and stuff I deal with. the next like 4 chapters are all kinda angst heavy but also plot heavy and mean a lot to me personally lol aka--- Eclipse’s werewolf reveal as well as the in canon reveal of her scar origins)

but i feel you on life kicking the ass, hope you can rest up!

#ask #anon #the little contractor ask #bun rambles #sorry i got wordy im tired and i always get so wordy when I'm exhausted #im probs gonna try to finish crocheting this headband and maybe work on doodles

3 notes · View notes