#I know its also bc of my medication now to some degree and being rlly sensitive to withdrawal symptoms of them after not having taken them

[wingedbeings]

I'm such an absolute mess right now, I need to just take my meds and go to sleep but I cant because what if they try to do something while im asleep

#don't rebl//g #moss.exe #suicide tw #im flaring up rlly bad too bc ive been up for way to long #i slept 3 hrs and now ive been up for 24 since then other than the brief half sleep nap I had full of trauma nightmares #I had to be up early to be available for them and that #they dont even give half a fuck about me #all they ever do is use me #if i dont go to sleep soon im just going to end up flaring up so badly i'll need emergency care instead #i genuinely feel like im just about dying #why do my chronic illnesses cause this bs #i used to be able to stay up for several days #when they werent so bad yet #now I feel just as sleep deprived physically as I did when I hadn't eaten in well over a week and hadn't slept more than a couple hours- #throughout the same week while still going to school #I know its also bc of my medication now to some degree and being rlly sensitive to withdrawal symptoms of them after not having taken them #for over 26-30 or so hours #bc of my chronic illnesses #and the flaring up worsens the symptoms and vice versa #but I just hate this bc I need to stay awake more than ever now and I just feel like I'm dying #my body is just straight up giving up so I really have no choice but to soon #but I wont be able to live with myself if they do anything while I'm asleep #i just basically begged them to be there when I wake up and im going to set my alarm at as little sleep as my body is willing to let me- #survive on which is abt 6 hrs and thats rlly rlly pushing it as thats barely manageable on a good day but yea #i honestly dont think its doable to set an alarm at all bc my body is just begging for at least 12 hrs of sleep to maybe keep the flare up- #from worsening still so maybe I shouldnt set an alarm because if I wake up i wont be able to just go back to sleep #and I feel like I'll actually genuinely have no choice but to contact emergency services if this worsens even the tiniest bit #im actually genuinely worried if I'll even wake up in the morning with how genuinely bad im doing physically lol #lets just hope for the best i guess #i wish i had a mother who would hold me and comfort me rn so badly

[mental-health-advice]

👹hello, thank u for answering my last ask, it was rlly helpful and made me feel at least a little more normal, its hard to explain but rn ive been going to a gp for my anxiety and suicidal thoughts and ive received meds for my anxiety but am still afraid of doing things involving people ie. going outside, my dad says that they pay for my appointments but whats the point if its not doing anything and its been feeding into this mindset ive had bc ive been thinking that (1)

👹no matter who i talk to or what help i get im always going to feel this terrible, i often think idk that i cant find any bliss in life? like maybe i dont have dreams but i wanted happiness but i dont know how to get that and im just scared ig that i cant be fixed, people tell me that theres worth to living and that i have a purpose but i find that so hard to believe... thanks.

Hey there,

I’m so glad that I was able to help you feel a bit better! It’s great also that you’re seeing your GP for anxiety and suicidal thoughts, have the medications been helping your anxiety at all?

Sometimes GP’s can only help so much with a person who has mental health issues so could you ask to possibly see a therapist of some kind? A therapist will be able to work with you on the things that need addressing and will help you to implement stuff to help you cope a bit better with everything. It’s really good that your parents are paying for your appointments to see your GP, but maybe for the next step in your recovery, seeing a therapist may be more helpful at the moment for you?

I have lost count of the number of different therapists I have seen over the many years but one thing I found is that sometimes professionals can only help to a certain degree and so consequently it is normal to swap and change who you see from time to time. My latest therapist has helped me so much in the past 12 months I’ve been seeing her, more so than the therapist I saw before her who I had been seeing for many years. So perhaps this is something to keep in mind, that it’s more than OK to see someone different and especially if who you’re currently seeing is no longer helping  you to get better. Does that make sense?

In terms of being afraid of doing things that involve other people, is there a way that you can start small with just seeing one person and then build up from there? A change in medication or dosage may also be helpful, so I encourage you to see your prescribing doctor and see if anything can be tweaked to help make things a bit easier for you. Just an idea!

In regards to feeling as though you don’t have a purpose to live and that things will never get any better for you no matter how hard you try, have you ever heard the following quote..

“To the world you may just be one person, but to one person you may be the world!” –Dr Seuss

So never underestimate how much you may mean to one person, even though it may not always seem obvious. I can assure you that many people will be hurting and feel upset if you did give up on life. So try to keep living not only for yourself, but also for others who may look up to you and perhaps even see you as a role model!

It’s also OK to not have any dreams at the moment, maybe right now you can just focus on yourself and taking care of yourself! I know it can be hard to do things that you enjoy at times but maybe you can try to do one little thing each day? It’s also important to practice good self-care as this will also help you to improve your overall mental health and help you to feel a bit better and may even give you some extra motivation in life to keep fighting? So doing things like eating a healthy diet, doing regular exercise and getting a good night’s sleep are really important to do.

I really hope that this has helped a bit and helped to give you some ideas on where you can go from here and hopefully continue your fight for one day having a really great and amazing life! Just take each day as they come and know that you’re here for a reason, even if it doesn’t seem like it at times!

I’m thinking of you and hope you’re doing OK!

Take care,

Lauren

#mha-lauren #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #👹 #anxiety #suicidal thoughts #medication #GP #getting further help