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wakraya · 5 years

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Epilogue Content Warnings

So as I said! Let me just. Pull these up real quick and talk about what each of them may mean for the Epilogue as a whole.

SPOILER WARNING FOR THE EPILOGUE BENEATH!

And let’s start with the characters actually!

John Egbert, Rose Lalonde, Dave Strider, Jade Harley, Jane Crocker, Roxy Lalonde, Jake English, Dirk Strider, Karkat Vantas, Kanaya Maryam, Terezi Pyrope, Calliope, Caliborn, Lord English: Obviously they would be here.

Aradia Megido, Tavros Nitram, Sollux Captor, Vriska Serket, Gamzee Makara, Eridan Ampora, Feferi Peixes: Also likely to be either mentioned or to have Ghost Shenanigans. It’s quite the Troll the Meowrails aren’t around though- Equius is not around I guess because he IS a Heir of Void after all. Nepeta not being there though, come on Hussie. that is just you Trolling us with another Dead Nepeta joke.

Aranea Serket, Meenah Peixes: Makes me think we’re not going to see the Dancestors at all. They’re the two more prominent ones, and part of the whole plan to defeat LE, so they would easily be mentioned.

Davepetasprite^2: Please come back, Birbcat.

Barack Obama: This is almost DEFINITELY Dave rapping.

Male Character(s), Original Female Character(s): Likely to be any new resident of Earth C. Honestly, just the Salamanders and Carapaces already fill this.

So now let’s go for the warnings! It should be noted, while all of these do appear, a lot of them are juxtaposed to be humorous with the more heavy-seeming ones, so let’s get into it.

Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Alternate Universe, Death, Incestuous Undertones, Meta, Manipulation, Rapping, Furry, Anthropomorphic Characters, Power Imbalances, Blood, Trickster Mode, Interspecies Relationships, Guns, Murder, Black Romance, Existential Crisis, Xenophilia, Daddy Issues, Robots, Gore, Aliens, Assassination, Theft, Ghosts, Mind Control, Teenagers, Possession, Kidnapping: This is just Homestuck 101.

Eating, Food, Clown Dynamics, Fridging, Feet, Early 20th Century Dance Movements, Clown, Honk, Faygo: These seem largely peppered in for the fun factor, and to break the... Concerning nature of some of the other ones.

The Economy, World War, Political Intrigue, Genocide, Political Rebellion, Fascism, Religion, Capitalism, Reality Television, Propaganda, Super PACs, Prison Camps, Gerrymandering, Revolutionary Rhetoric: This in general seems like it’s gonna be societal commentary talking about either Alternian or Earth Society, and perhaps some talk of stuff that’s happened in the past of Earth-C. With how messed up Alternia is and the stuff Condy did... Yeah it all checks in.

Xenophobia, Speciesism: The Snapchat Updates hinted at the possibility of anti-Human Trolls, and likely of anti-Troll Humans in the same vein, for literal Xenophobia and Speciesism, or grouped with the prior category for... You know. Sadly truthful commentary on social issues.

Misogyny, Sexism, Transphobia, Misgendering, Gender Transition, Nonbinary Character(s), Identity Questioning, Detransitioning: These are likely some of the ones that people are the most worried about- Specially regarding the one about ‘Detransitioning’. However... Honestly my two bets here are that, John is going to bump into Davepeta and have a brief moment of misgendering them before being corrected and some talk about gender identity, and that Dave may give John a big talk regarding identity and fucked up societal stuff.

Sexual Abuse, Rape, Non-Con, Dubious Consent, Slut Shaming: These may easily tie in with the previous one too, as V mentioned, these aren’t things we’re going to see at all, but they are going to get briefly discussed. So no one’s going to get coerced into anything. Bad themes but, stuff to talk about.

Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Abuse, Unhealthy Relationships, Domestic Abuse, Bad Parenting, Toxic Masculinity: I’m going to be honest. This. This just sounds like Dave’s gonna talk about Bro again.

Body Horror: This could be MANY things. Some awful wound described in full detail, it is gonna tie in with ‘Gore’ for certain. Maybe talking about Gamzee being split in half.

Alcohol Use, Drugging, Drug Use, Chronic Illness, Vomit, Addiction: The drug mentions already happened with Rose, and she’s medicating herself. Thankfully I trust she’s not falling in any sort of addiction, but the ‘Vomit’ tag could imply it’s gonna get worse before it gets better. Or maybe it’s entirely unrelated and Gamzee just barfs blood again.

Mental Illness, Depression: Someone get all of these Kids to a Therapist. Honestly.

Starvation, Suicide, Funerals: These are the ones I’m the most... Worried about. Suicide there could be talk of their Immortality, hell maybe it’s even a morbid but still joking thing that’s not serious, but I’m kind of concerned it may be more. Starvation though, I can’t... Think of anyone who could Starve, except perhaps Terezi having been outside searching for Vriska for so long, and I worry... And Funerals, please just talk about Mutie’s and Rose’s Funerals, please no one die. :I I mean except John, which I’m assuming may die, but I’ll talk about that later.

Poisoning, Pica: Another possible alternative for the ‘Vomit’ warning? It may also tie into some assassination attempt. There’s no ‘overdose’ tag, so I am ruling out the idea that Rose IS gonna start going too far. Like straight up. Pica is also a disorder in which someone eats non-edible stuffs, which could cause poisoning and vomit? But. Honestly? I think... Pica is just going to be Terezi eating chalk.

Friends to Lovers, Polyamory, Infidelity, Marriage, Cuckolding: Now BEFORE any of you crucify me for putting Polyamory and Infidelity together. I know. I’m not implying anything. BUT while it’s possible that like. Rose or Kanaya had some talk about their marriage. I think it could be quite hilarious if John saw Jade, Dave and Karkat like. Making out amongst themselves at different points and assume that they’re cheating on each other, or worse, that they tease him for having that come to mind immediately. ‘wow karkat i cant believe youre cucking me with jade im hurt’ ‘SHUT THE FUCK UP STRIDER, OH MY GOD-’

Pregnancy, Breastfeeding, Breastmilk, Diapers, Children, Babies, Milking: I know everyone’s IMMEDIATE thoughts is that someone’s gonna get pregnant. But honestly it could just be pregnancy talk and... Breastfeeding and Milking that’s just. That’s just gonna be ARquius isn’t it.

Eggs, Alien Biology, Ovipositioning: No! Stop! There’s not going to be any weird Troll Stuff! Shame on all of us. This is most likely regarding the Mother Grub, although I wouldn’t mind hearing more about Canon Troll Anatomy.

Cannibalism, Vore: I am. I am going to go ahead and think this is because of the drawing of Roxy eating a baby??? Honestly who even KNOWS at this point. Is Caliborn going to try to VORE anyone like a god damn snake? Good lord.

Mind Break, Rough Sex, Light BDSM: Remember that there’s NO sexual content in the Epilogue. Confirmed. So uh... Yeah. Okay I added ‘Mind Break’ here for humorous effect but honestly it may be better suited for some of the messed up warnings above, maybe alongside Mind Control? Oof. Rough Sex... I can imagine someone joking about it? Maybe someone gets really shameless with the innuendos. And Light BDSM I’m just going to say we’re going to see Clover. Or... Gamzee DID get tied up. Does that count?

Bimboification: This fucking one. This one is the one that throws me out for a limb the most. It may be relating to the Trickster Mode? It may also be related to Caliborn and him like. Objectifying the characters or something, but that isn’t as ‘ification’. Another thing that’s got me wondering is ‘Bimboification’. As FAR as I understand this term to go, the correct way of saying it is ‘Bimbofication’? So either it’s a typo, OR ‘Bomboification can apparently be used some times for specifically males? What I’m saying is, I can’t believe Lord English really is a Himbo.

Redemption: V... Vriska? Maybe. But also I kinda hope not. I’m really wishing ‘Redemption’ comes from everyone working their shit out together and being a big bunch of friends again.

Canon Compliant, Canon Divergent, Self-Sacrifice: Finally! The last ones! This is both Canon Compliant and Canon Divergent, which should be easy enough to parse through the Meat-Candy choice (And what I believe will be a split-path with the next update). Self-Sacrifice... Yeah that is what’s going to happen with John isn’t it? At least in the ‘Meat’ path. But I’ve talked already too much and gotten too Spoilery, ssssh!

So hey! These warnings don’t look so intimidating when you realize 90% were already things that happen in Homestuck proper, and the rest can be discussed in an adult manner without having awful things happen to people.

I’m mostly worried about people dying and getting hurt.

#Homestuck #Upd8 #Epilogue #Homestuck Spoilers #Spoilers

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findingmypeace · 4 years

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What usually causes eating disorders? Why are they more common in athletes? How many different kinds of eating disorders are there?

People develop eating disorders for a variety of reasons. It can be related to perfectionism (being perfect at a diet), as a response to trauma, as a form of control, and because of low self-esteem or bullying. There is some evidence that genetics plays a role. Also, a family history of dieting/disordered eating/eating disorders makes it more likely someone will develop an eating disorder. Having more emphasis placed on weight and shape can lead to disordered eating which can lead to an actual eating disorder. Eating disorders are often coping mechanisms. I would often b/p to avoid feeling my emotions or as a way to feel better. And restricting gives both a numbing effect and a sense of a high. An eating disorder may be an attempt to deal with an underlying mental illness.

It may be more common in athletes for a variety of reasons depending on the sport. There are appearance based sports like gymnastics and figure skating where being tiny is perceived to make you more successful at that sport. A wrestler competes with others in particular weight categories. They may try to control their weight to control what weight they compete at. Or it can be a result of the constant physicality of the sport. Constantly exercising and wanting to be more fit can often lead to an eating disorder. It’s also common in models where being emaciated is almost celebrated.

As far as how many different kinds of eating disorders there are I’ve never actually counted them out. I’m going to list the diagnosable eating disorders but I do want to make it clear that an eating disorder can manifest in so many different ways that no two eating disorders are exactly alike. There is:

Anorexia Nervosa. AN has several subtypes. There is anorexia binge/purge subtype, anorexia restricting subtype, atypical anorexia, and orthorexia. Although I think orthorexia may be classified under OSFED. I can’t remember.

Bulimia Nervosa. BN also has subtypes. There is exercise bulimia and non-purging bulimia ie: bulimia where purging is through other means than vomiting (laxatives, diuretics, restricting).

There is Binge Eating Disorder.

There is Other Specified Feeding and Eating Disorder (OSFED). This is basically an eating disorder that doesn’t fit neatly into any of the other categories.

There is Avoidant, Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID). This is a disorder where someone may only eat a few specific foods and are afraid or don’t want to eat a variety of other foods. When you hear of kids eating only Cheetos or only chicken nuggets for years on end that is ARFID. This isn’t just avoiding vegetables because they’re ‘gross’. This is avoiding most foods in general.

Finally, there is Pica which is often a result of nutritional imbalances. Pica is where some craves and then eats non-food substances such as dirt or chalk or paper. To my knowledge it can also happen during pregnancy.

To my knowledge that’s all the diagnosable eating disorders. I want to add that there is also disordered eating which is basically eating patterns that don’t meet the clinical definition of a diagnosable eating disorder but are still disordered. Chronic dieting, fad dieting, or using ed behaviors infrequently are examples of disordered eating.

Let me know if you have any other questions!

#anorexia #bulimia #binge eating disorder #OSFED #ARFID #Pica

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fascinatedhelix · 5 years

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A shitload of Deltarune headcanons below the cut:

Hometown

Kris

Has selective mutism, but can really talk if you get them going.

Is skilled in many musical pursuits, including singing, but doesn’t like having to face the audience in order to perform, so they prefer the piano.

Might have something along the lines of bipolar disorder, but where that starts and the frequent possessions by foreign entities ends is a mystery. Adverse reactions to medicine prevent them from going the medical route of treatment.

Obtained the birdcage from the attic where either the previous homeowner or Toriel left it after having a pet bird.

Was adopted as a baby.

Highschool age but probably not a Senior or Freshman.

More of a battle strategist and puzzle solver than a leader, but still a valued member of the team regardless.

Susie

Has been an outcast from a young age.

Wore that funny ponytail from the concept art as a kid, as well as a bow. Probably dressed much more feminine back then.

Probably either poor or subject to subpar parenting, either neglect or hovering. Maybe something like Lancer’s situation where her family isn’t at rock bottom, but they don’t care enough to provide for her as much as they can.

Has some degree of pica, but has a stomach strong enough to not die from it.

Doesn’t like quiet people because one of her neglectful parents is like that.

Would probably eat cigarettes instead of smoke them.

If she had been introduced to Kris while they were pranking someone, they might have sparked a friendship as the school troublemakers.

The Town

Monster religion isn’t Christianity. There’s no cross, and there’s a pointed emphasis on worshipping an Angel as opposed to the son of God, so Jesus either isn’t in their mythos at all or is not considered as important a figure. One part of their religion is the reduced or nonexistent consumption of alcohol.

There was no full-scale war between humans and monsters, but there was enough conflict to designate territories where one is the vast majority over the other. Gerson’s writings may have been based on the tensions of this time period.

The school used to be a religious boarding school but was secularized sometime before the events of the game.

The general public isn’t 100% sure what is up with Kris. Though they’re a bit of a local celebrity, nobody’s really sure why Kris acts the way they do. Media doesn’t depict humans as being so taciturn or erratic, so they honestly don’t know what to make of them.

Darkworld

Darkeners

In nature, darkeners are not monsters, but rather another classification of magical being that is a little more physical in makeup. If a monster dies, they turn into dust, but if a darkener dies, they might leave a shriveled corpse or a pile of sludge.

Darkeners tend to be changeable based on the amount of light in the environment; too much light makes them antsy and irritable, while little to no light makes them relaxed and confident. Light and dark levels affect their power, so of course, it’d affect their moods too.

The Board used to be its own sovereign nation, but it was either conquered by the Card Kingdom or merged by way of royal marriage.

Darkeners can reduce themselves into cards or toys if too badly damaged, or to play dead if threatened.

Lancer

Middle school age. Probably knows where babies come from but he isn’t at the point where he finds it anything but gross (prepubescent).

More educated than he looks, but not in anything especially important, just stuff that looks good on a king.

Will eventually grow to be as big as his father, but he probably won’t develop his temperament.

He inherits his goofy personality from his mom, even though she died/disappeared when he was very little.

He’s got some dog-like traits, but not nearly as much as the dog monsters from Snowdin. It’s a contributor to his hole-digging habit.

He’ll probably have some initial trouble speaking when he grows his big boy teeth (fangs like his dad’s).

His goofy demeanor will cool down when he gets older so he might come to resemble Asgore in terms of personality when he gets to that point, though perhaps less oblivious to others.

The Kings

The King of Spades’ given name is Pike. He doesn’t like it because it sounds dog-like and makes him sound simple-minded, so it's using is only reserved for those extremely close to him (that is, his wife, at least before she left the picture, and maybe the other kings).

The other kings are either Spades’ cousins, his brothers, or members of three other royal houses. Either way, the lot of them have known each other for a very long time.

Clover is the Princess/Jack of Clubs, though she isn’t in the habit of acting like it, hence why she’s still running free despite being in competition for the throne, technically. Too busy arguing with herself.

The kings all had different reactions when the princess and later prince were born. Clubs was experiencing a lot of emotions when Clover was born, with pride and protectiveness lording over all the others. Diamonds thought the kids were cute as babies but he didn’t want them to puke on him so he kept his distance. Hearts loved the babies to the point he acted kind of like a second mom.

The King of Diamonds is a rather apathetic guy who just wants to do his job and get paid at the end of the day. He, like the Rudinns, has something of a weird dragon-like instinct to hoard shiny stuff, so he likes to have his things bejeweled to hell and back.

The King of Hearts is a lot like the Hathys in that he’s kind of a lovebug. He’s a sappy guy who probably reads romance novels, good and bad, out the wazoo and is probably the biggest consumer of romcoms this side of the Darkworld. Finds the art of courtship to be the purest of art forms, even though he’s single.

The King of Clubs has as many personalities as he has heads, and they all have their own names, but the consensuses he comes to are usually really sound and thought through, so he makes for an effective though slow king. He was perhaps the closest to Spades out of the lot of them, being black suits and all, but ultimately this helped none during Spades’ takeover. He’s kind of like a weird lion hydra.

The King of Spades was, at one point, a rather quiet guy himself. He preferred to work in the shadows and keep to himself, and to his credit, this worked well for him, though he tended to feel forgotten and useless at times. The Knight came after him because he was a relatively insecure soul and more prone to holding grudges, which gave the Knight something to latch onto and blow out of proportion.

Rouxls Kaard

He’s made of silly putty. Though most headcanons of him make it so he melts when stressed, I think he only gets all liquidy when he’s relaxed. He probably sleeps in a bathtub.

He consciously has to keep up that eloquent facade, because he thought it was cool at one point, but he’s done it so much it’s become a force of habit and now he can’t not do it.

I like to imagine he’s bisexual, though he’s probably too preoccupied with trying to keep himself alive than pursuing love. If he did return anyone’s affections, he’d probably be very hush-hush about it at first because of his concerns with Spades.

He probably has slurped worms from a soup bowl like he was slurping up ramen before.

He literally can’t stop smiling. Has anyone else seriously not noticed how his smile never wanes when he gets mad or scared? It actually gets wider, you can only see how he feels through his eyes and tone. Not sure if this is how his face is structured or what.

I like the idea of him having some degree of reality-warping powers as the rules card, but that’d require his opponent to be playing his game. So, the only instance in which he could do that is if someone accepted a proper challenge from him. Puzzles are not his forte at all, and it’s implied he’s incompetent at battle too, so what is his game, then?

#deltarune #headcanons #dr kris #dr susie #dr lancer #the spades king #the king of spades #rouxls kaard

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greysfanpage388 · 7 years

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Moving Forward

In this fic, it would be 2 weeks after Omelia made up. Owen follows Amelia to LA to visit her first baby’s grave. This would feature the LA gang :)

For the sake of this fic:

a) Amelia had returned home and made up with Owen 2 weeks before this fic

b) They didn’t receive any news about Megan in this fic, and the hospital fire didn’t occur.

Again, thanks to the amazing @jia911 helping me to proofread this! <3

Owen closed his eyes and took a deep breath as the aircraft he was boarding landed. His heart was thumping fast. Although he tried not to show it, he was nervous about meeting Amelia’s LA gang. Although Amelia frequently told him about her LA friends, and he had joined in their FaceTime chats a couple of times, this was the first time he was meeting them face to face. He knew that they meant a lot to Amelia, and were her family when she was working in LA. He was glad that she had found a place where she belonged before she met him. He had heard only good things about this group and couldn’t wait to meet them. At the same time, he couldn’t help but wonder what impression would he be making on them. What if they didn’t like him? He didn’t want to let Amelia down. If Amelia’s friends liked him, she would be happy, and her being happy would make him happy too.

He didn’t know how he got himself into this situation in the first place. A couple of weeks ago, after Amelia finally returned home, both of them poured their heart and soul out to each other. Amelia finally told him everything about her unicorn baby- from the moment she found out she was carrying an anencephalic baby, her decision to carry on with the pregnancy, the painful birth, and holding the baby in her arms, admiring how precious he was. She also told him how her heart broke into pieces when Addison and Jake had to take her baby away from her when he developed respiratory distress.

She then told him that it would be the 5th year anniversary of his death in 2 weeks, and that she had never visited his grave ever since she left LA. She invited him to follow her to LA to visit her baby’s grave and he gladly accepted.

He was jolted out of his thoughts by a warm hand gently covering his. Amelia had noticed his furrowed eyebrows, which indicated that he was deep in concentration thinking about something. She could sense that he was anxious about the prospect of meeting her friends.

She squeezed his hand in a comforting gesture and gave him a reassuring smile.

‘ They’re going to like you.’ she convinced, feeling amused that he would be so nervous about meeting her friends. She found his desire to make a good first impression on her friends endearing.

‘ How do you know that?’ Owen asked.

‘ Because I know them. And I know you. You’ll all get along just fine.’ Amelia answered smiling, giving Owen a gentle pat on the thigh. Owen’s eyebrows furrowed further.

‘ Ok, seriously though- they’ve heard only good things about you.’ Amelia said earnestly. ‘ I spoke to Addison on the phone yesterday and she said that she couldn’t wait to meet you. Just relax, Owen, It’ll be fine. You just need to be yourself , ok? They’ll all love you for who you are, trust me.’

‘ Ok, if you say so.’ Owen surrendered.

‘ I’ll make sure they do.’ Amelia promised, winking at him.

______________________________________________________________

15 minutes later, Owen was pushing their luggage on a trolley and following Amelia out to the waiting area.

He noticed a couple whom he recognized as Addison and Jake waving at them. Standing beside the couple was a boy looking to be about 5 years old.

Amelia rushed up to Addison and both women embraced in a big hug obviously so glad to see each other.

Jake extended his hands to Owen and Owen accepted the handshake awkwardly.

‘ Hey, so you must be Owen Hunt.’ said Jake, smiling. ‘ According to Addison, Amelia has only good things to say about you.’

‘ And you must be Jake.’ said Owen. ‘ According to Amelia, Addison has only good things to say about you.’

‘ And…you must be the amazing Owen Hunt.’ Addison greeted as both ginger hairs shook hands. ‘ You know, Amelia boasts to me regularly about how you’re the best husband ever.’

‘ Addison.’ Amelia chided, blushing.

‘ I’m just speaking the truth. Remember how you gushed to me about him just yesterday- about how he readily agreed to take leave to follow you here?’ said Addison unapologetically as Amelia shrugged in defeat. Those were her exact words during their conversation the day before.

‘ Hey Henry.’ Amelia greeted as she bent down to shake the boy’s hands. ‘ Gosh you’re such a big boy already! You’ve grown up so much from when I last saw you in person.’

‘ Hey auntie Amelia! I’m 5 already.’ said Henry grinning, showing all 5 fingers of his right hand. Although Amelia had never seen him in person since she left LA, she had regular FaceTime sessions with Addison and Henry which led to Henry recognizing her.

‘ Oh yes you are! ’ Amelia hugged him. ‘ Henry, this is Uncle Owen. Say hi to him?’

‘ Hi Uncle Owen.’ Henry greeted shyly as he shook Owen’s hand politely.

‘ Hey Henry.’ Owen spoke to the boy in the gentle voice he reserved only for children. ‘ He’s such a polite boy.’ Owen complimented as he looked up at Henry’s parents.

‘ Well, he behaves differently at home.’ Addison chuckled.

‘ Mommy - uncle Owen also has red hair like you.’ Henry pointed out.

‘ Why yes, which makes both of us cool, right Hunt?’ Addison answered as the other adults burst out laughing.

‘ We’ll drop off your belongings at our house first, then we’ll proceed to Flinders.’ Jake suggested . ‘ Cooper, Charlotte and their kids are already on their way there. Violet couldn’t make it- Lucas is down with the flu. But she wants meet up with you both tomorrow. Sam and Naomi are on vacation with Olivia and Michael, and Sheldon is in the Carribbean again for God knows how long.’ he added.

The car ride was a pleasant one, with Addison, Jake and Henry getting to know Owen better. ______________________________________________________________

As Owen, Amelia, Jake, Addison and Henry entered the restaurant- Charlotte, Cooper and their kids were already seated.

Henry immediately ran over to the table and took a seat beside Mason. Although there was a 7 year age gap between them, they both shared a special bond and were close buddies.

Amelia’s heart leapt upon seeing Charlotte. Although they communicated regularly via FaceTime and WhatsApp, it just wasn’t the same as seeing each other in person. Oh how she missed her Junkie BFF!

Both women shared a warm hug.

‘ I’ve missed you so much, Charlotte.’ Amelia whispered.

‘ I’ve missed you too, Junkie BFF.’ Charlotte whispered back as both women chuckled.

Meanwhile, Addison and Jake introduced Owen to Cooper and the two men shook hands.

‘ Charlotte- this is Owen.’ Amelia introduced her friend to her husband.

‘ Owen Hunt. Glad to finally meet you in person.’ said Charlotte in her southern drawl as she shook Owen’s hand. ‘ I’ve heard only amazing things about you.’ she added.

‘ Same here.’ Owen replied, blushing slightly.

‘ And these are my children - Mason, Georgia, Caroline and Rachel.’ added Charlotte, pointing to each one of them.

‘ Hi uncle Owen.’ Mason greeted him with a cheeky grin.

‘ Hi aunt Amelia.’ he greeted her, still grinning.

‘ Oh wow- you’ve grown up so much! Look at you!’ Amelia exclaimed in amazement. The last time she had seen him in person, he was only 8 years old. Now 5 years later, he had grown into a tall teenager.

‘And you all too’ said Amelia as she looked at the triplets affectionately. They were all just babies when she had left LA and they were now little girls. Where had time gone?

The girls took turns shaking Owen’s hands shyly before Amelia hugged each one of them.

‘ Should we start ordering?’ Cooper suggested.

‘ So, Hunt.’ said Charlotte as soon as everyone has placed their orders. ‘ Tell me more about yourself. I heard that you’ve served in the army before?’

‘ Yes, for 5 years.’ Owen answered. ‘ Operating on wounded soldiers. I’ve seen everything, all types of horrific injuries which soldiers suffer in the battlefield.’

‘ Wow I’ve full respect for people who serve in the army.’ Charlotte stated earnestly. ‘ So now you’re the Head of Trauma at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital?’

‘ Yes.’ said Owen. ‘ I love the adrenaline rush of treating acute trauma cases. I heard that you’re the Chief of Staff at St Ambrose Hospital?’

‘ Yes I am. I keep everyone in line.’ Charlotte replied proudly.

‘ Yes, which includes bossing people around.’ Cooper added.

‘ What?! No I don’t anymore. You know that, Cooper.’ Charlotte defended as she hit his arm playfully.

‘ Ok, ok, I’m just kidding.’ Cooper retracted.

‘ She’s also a sexologist and a really good one at that. People come to her for all sorts of advice about their sexual problems.’ he added. ‘ So if you have any sexual issues, you know who to look for..’ he stretched his hands in front of him to shield himself from further attack from his wife.

‘ Cooper, there are children here!’ Charlotte scolded, her Southern accent coming out stronger than ever.

‘ They’re like that.’ Amelia whispered to Owen as she watched her two old friends bickering. Gosh how she missed them!

Charlotte and Cooper’s bickering was interrupted by the drinks arriving.

‘ And you’re a Paediatrician right?’ Owen asked Cooper.

‘ Yes, I am. Children come to me for a variety of different cases.’ Cooper answered.

‘ You should have seen some of his cases.’ Charlotte chimed in. ‘ Once a child came in with pica and it turned out his mother actually had the same disorder but was ashamed to admit it.’

‘ And there was another time he risked his license being suspended when he treated a homeless child.’ Addison added.

‘ The child was innocent. How can he be denied the right to receive treatment just because his mother couldn’t afford it?’ Cooper defended himself.

‘ Well, that just goes to show how kind hearted he is, right Cooper?’ Charlotte asked as she patted her husband’s shoulder affectionately.

‘ Ok, enough talk about me.’ said Cooper waving his hands to dismiss the current conversation. ‘ Hunt, do tell us more about yourself. We’ve heard only good things about you.’

Owen froze for a moment, feeling like a deer being put on the spotlights.

‘ Well….ermm….what do you guys wanna know about me?’ he asked.

‘ Well, for starters about how about the fact that you give the best S-E-X ever.’ said Amelia winking at him.

‘ Oops….sorry….I forgot my filter.’ she added quickly as Owen’s face turned as red as a tomato.

‘ You do not need to spell the word out, aunt Amelia. I know perfectly well what it means and the rest of the kids are too little to know.’ said Mason, grinning.

‘ What does S-E-X mean?’ Henry who was sitting beside him asked with wide eyes.

‘ Ask your Mom later.’ Mason replied noncholantly.

‘ Yea , what does S-E-X mean?’ Georgia who was sitted on the other side of him asked.

Charlotte and Cooper exchanged a glance before Cooper quickly replied…. ‘ It’s when two people love each other a lot, Georgie.’

He was distracted by Caroline tapping at his arm, demanding for his attention.

At the opposite side of the table, Addison gave Amelia a death glare as the younger woman shrugged.

‘ Sorry, like I said, I forgot my filter.’ she whispered back to her friend.

‘ Tell us more about your experience in the army, Hunt.’ said Jake, trying to salvage the situation.

Owen heaved a sigh of relief at the change of topic. The conversation was making him uncomfortable, as fun and friendly as Amelia’s friends were. Leave it to his wife to initiate such an uncomfortable topic.

He did notice though that her friends were apparently accustomed to her lack of filter.

As Owen started telling them about his years of experience in the army , and about how much he missed his sister Megan, they all listened attentively. He then told them about the interesting cases he had encountered throughout the years of working in the emergency department of Grey Sloan Memorial. He gradually started feeling at ease with Amelia’s friends , which meant a lot considering he seldom opened up to people easily.

Amelia eventually joined in the conversation by telling them about the interesting Neuro cases she had encountered in Grey Sloan Memorial, about her sisters Meredith and Maggie and about her nieces and nephew. She was careful to avoid telling them about her marital problems earlier on with Owen. It was a secret between them both that the others didn’t need to know.

The rest of the dinner went on smoothly as the group chatted amicably, exchanging stories and catching up with each other’s lives. Amelia watched as Owen interacted with her friends and their children with ease.

______________________________________________________________

‘ Owen does seem like a great guy.’ Addison pointed out as she and Amelia sat at the balcony of her LA house, feeling the cool breeze of the beach blowing on their faces. Amelia peered into the house where Owen and Jake were sitting on the couch , chatting to each other and watching sports on TV. Henry was already asleep in his bedroom.

‘ Look at him interacting with the children- he’s a natural.’ she added, recalling seeing Owen playing tea party with the triplets and then playing a board game with Mason when they dropped by Charlotte and Cooper’s place after dinner. When they arrived home, Owen had built some Legos with Henry before Addison had to tuck him into bed.

‘ Yes he is.’ Amelia agreed earnestly. Again, the guilt she felt about having left Owen when he had been nothing but kind, caring and supportive towards her resurfaced.

‘ But?’ Addison knew Amelia well enough to sense that there was something more to the story than her friend was letting on. Since Amelia left home a few months ago- she hadn’t been FaceTiming with Addison or the rest of the LA gang- making the excuse that she was too swamped up with work and married life. The truth was, she was too ashamed to tell them about what happened between her and Owen because part of her knew that it was her fault.

Amelia cleared her throat. She knew that she needed to tell her friend the whole truth. Addison was her good friend and had been with her throughout every single one of her experiences while she was in LA. Furthermore, Addison knew about her unicorn baby.

‘ Please don’t judge me when I tell you this…..’ Amelia said wearily.

‘ Amelia- when did I ever judge you?’ Addison asked intrigued.

‘ Well…’ Amelia began, ‘ Actually…. my marriage to Owen wasn’t as smooth sailing as I made it up to be…’

‘ What do you mean?’ Addison probed gently.

‘ I did what I knew best, I ran.’ Amelia admitted in a soft voice, staring out at the sea and watching the waves crash onto shore. ‘ Again.’ she added.

‘ Why did you run?’ Addison asked. ‘ I mean, I know you well enough to know that you have your reasons for doing so. You wouldn’t just simply run off like that.’

‘ I was afraid, Addison.’ Amelia admitted. ‘ The first couple of months were awesome. Then the honeymoon period ended. We were planning to start a family. Well, a family was what Owen wanted very much- it had been his dream all along. Initially I was very much on broad of the idea, and we agreed to start a family immediately. Then, I missed my period and thought I might be pregnant. But when I took the pregnancy test, and it turned out negative- I was actually relieved. It was then that I realized I was afraid of being pregnant again. What if I have another anencephalic baby, Addison?’

‘ So the main reason you ran away is because you didn’t want to face your fears of having another anencephalic baby.’ Addison pointed out, nodding her head in understanding and taking Amelia’s hand in hers as a gesture of support.

‘ Yes.’ Amelia answered, sighing in relief. She knew that Addison would get it. Addison was one of the very few people who really understood her. ‘ I mean, what if I can only produce anencephalic babies? What if I can’t give him the family he longs for? Would he leave me?’

‘ Amelia, the recurrence rate of anencephaly is less than 5%.’ Addison informed. ‘ Chances are you both will have a healthy baby.’

‘ I know- but what if I’m the 5%?’ Amelia asked.

‘ Look at me.’ Addison said firmly but gently as their eyes met. ‘ What happened to the cheerful, bubbly, optimistic Amelia I know who would perform a risky surgery on a patient because she knew that it would be worth it if the surgery succeeded? Where has this Amelia gone to?’

‘ Life has knocked her down.’ Amelia replied sadly.

‘ No, the Amelia I know would not let that happen. The Amelia I know would fight to the very end to prove the odds wrong.’ said Addison.

‘ Listen here, Amelia.’ she continued when her friend remained silent. ‘ I may not know Owen that well, but from what little I know about him, he seems to be a kind, caring and supportive guy. Have you actually talked to him about your fears? Maybe if you have a heart to heart talk with him about it- he would understand and wouldn’t pressure you into having kids.’

‘ I talked to him about it a couple of weeks ago.’ Amelia admitted. ‘ I told him everything about my baby and opened up to him about my deepest fears. He was so supportive and understanding. Actually, that’s the main reason why he followed me here to LA, to visit my baby’s grave too.’

‘ That’s so sweet of Owen.’ Addison smiled.. ‘ You are a very lucky girl to have met him, Amelia.’ she said honestly.

‘ I know.’ Amelia admitted, smiling back.

‘ Would you take me and Owen to my baby’s grave tomorrow?’ Amelia asked. ‘ It’s supposed to be his 5th birthday.’

‘ Of course!’ Addison answered. The memories of Amelia carrying and giving birth to her Unicorn baby were still fresh in her mind. ‘ I’ll be there to offer you support, I know you’ll need it.’

‘ Thanks Addison.’ said Amelia gratefully. She was so glad to have met such a good friend in Addison. They shared a strong bond which could never be broken. She considered Addison more of a sister to her than her biological sisters.

‘ That’s what friends are for.’ Addison replied as both women exchanged a smile.

They both stared out at the sea again, letting themselves savor the calming effect of the cool seaside breeze blowing on their faces. Amelia had to admit, although she had settled down in Seattle and had gotten used to the lifestyle there, she missed the relaxing atmosphere and beaches of LA. ______________________________________________________________

The next day

The fresh scent of spring filled the air. A slight breeze was blowing and birds were chirping. Flowers were in full bloom, representing the fresh hope of spring, but it did little to lighten the sombre mood at the cemetery.

The cemetery was almost empty except for 3 figures. One of the figures stepped forward and walked slowly towards one of the gravestones.

Amelia held back tears as she carefully made her way towards the white gravestone on which was engraved with the words ‘ Precious Unicorn. Gone too soon but forever in our hearts.’

She carefully placed a fresh bouquet of flowers in front of the gravestone. It looked neat, apparently Addison and Jake had taken turns to clean the area from time to time. She made a mental note to thank them for it later.

She slowly kneeled down, the breeze blowing on her face.

‘ I’m sorry buddy. Mommy is so sorry for not coming back to see you after all this while.’ she said softly. ‘ I’ve no excuse.’

‘ I hope you’re happy up there in heaven.’ she whispered. ‘ I tell you, you’re so lucky. I bet it’s so much better up there than it is down here. The world down here isn’t nice. There’s war, hunger, injustice everywhere. You’re in a better place now.’

She let tears roll down her cheeks as she added. ‘ I hope you’re smiling down and watching over me. Look, I’ve brought uncle Owen to see you. He’s mommy’s husband now and I’m sure he would’ve loved to meet you, bud. You both would’ve been good friends and done lots of fun things together.’ she sniffled.

Meanwhile, Owen and Addison were watching Amelia from a distance. She looked solemn as she kneeled down in front of the tombstone.

A tense silence passed between them before Addison spoke up first.

‘ You know - this is the first time she has been back to her baby’s grave since his funeral.’ she said. ‘ Maybe this is the sense of closure she needed.’

Another moment of silence ensued before Owen said. ‘ She never told me anything about her baby until 2 weeks ago. It must have been so hard on her.’

‘ I saw her throughout the entire pregnancy.’ Addison revealed. ‘ I performed the first scan on her and it tore my heart to have to break the news to her . She seemed so excited to meet the baby initially, and when I told her the baby had no brain, you should’ve seen her crestfallen expression. It was like I had taken away everything from her.’

‘ Yeah according to Amelia, when you delivered the news to her, she was completely devastated.’ Owen nodded sadly.

‘ Did she tell you that she was given the option to terminate, but she decided to carry the baby to term because she wanted to donate his organs?’ Addison asked.

‘ Yes, she did.’ Owen answered. ‘ And I really admire and respect her for this. It must’ve been a very tough decision for her to make.’

‘ She wanted to make sure her baby made a difference in many lives during his short time on earth.’ Addison said. ‘ When the baby developed respiratory distress and it was time for Jake and I to take him away from her, it was so heartbreaking. It was like we took away a piece of her heart .’ she added sadly, remembering the fateful day vividly.

‘ It’s a very noble thing for her to do.’ said Owen, even more in awe of his wife. Her friend had just confirmed what an amazing and remarkable woman she was.

‘’ Yes, it was.’ Addison nodded in agreement.

They both stopped talking to look at Amelia kneeling in front of the gravestone with tears rolling down her cheeks. Owen wanted to run up to her to hug her, but he respected her privacy and knew she needed a moment alone with her child.

‘ Thank you Addison.’ said Owen suddenly. ‘ Thank you for being there for Amelia, for being her friend and supporting her all this while.’

Addison smiled. ‘ Our history went right back to high school when I started dating Derek.’ she said. ‘ Amelia would tag along with him for our dates and both of us became close.’ She decided to leave out the wild teenage Amelia part. Nope, Owen didn’t need to know that.

‘ Thank you Owen.’ she said. ‘ Thank you for being there for her when I couldn’t. You know what she told me during our last FaceTime chat a couple of days ago? She gloated about how she’s so lucky to have found such a kind, caring, understanding and supportive husband like you.’

Owen blushed at the compliment. Although he didn’t want to admit it, it really meant a lot to him to hear his wife praise him like that.

‘ She’s amazing too.’ he answered, deliberately leaving out the part where she left him with a mere note a few months ago.

Before Addison could reply, Amelia was beckoning for Owen to join her in front of the gravestone.

Excusing himself, Owen walked slowly towards the spot where Amelia was kneeling and kneeled down beside her.

‘ Buddy, this is Uncle Owen.’ said Amelia softly. ‘You both would’ve gotten along well together.’

‘ Hey buddy.’ said Owen, joining in the conversation. ‘ Your mother told me about you and how special you are. I wish I got to meet you. We would’ve done so many fun things together like go fishing and play soccer.’

Amelia felt a tug at her heart at Owen’s words. She was sure that Owen would’ve adored her first child.

‘ I’m sure you’re watching over us, buddy. I hope you’re smiling down at us from heaven.’ said Amelia, smiling up at the sky. I hope you watch over any siblings you might have in the future too. I love you and miss you so much.’ she said, as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks.

Her words didn’t go unnoticed by Owen.

‘ I hope you watch over any siblings you might have in the future too.’ Hearing those words really warmed his heart.

‘ Amelia.’ he whispered softly, unable to believe what he had just heard. Was it true? Was she really ready to have children with him? He didn’t want to pressure her if she wasn’t ready yet. He would wait until she was actually ready.

‘ Shhhh.’ she placed a finger gently over his lips to silence him and took his hand in hers.

‘ Buddy, just know that I love you and miss you so much.’ Amelia said. ‘ You’ll always hold a special place in my heart, even after your siblings arrive. They would never replace you, you’ll always be my firstborn son. Promise me you’ll look after them and guard over them ok?’ she added.

She gave Owen a subtle squeeze on the hand as she said those words.

At that very moment, she felt a heavy burden being lifted from her shoulders. For the first time since her baby’s birth and death, she finally felt free. Free to go on with her life, free from the shadows of her past which binded her.This was the closure she needed. She felt something in her heart telling her that it was ok, that she could move on to start a family with Owen.

At that same moment, Owen knew that his wife finally got the closure she badly needed. He squeezed her hand back as a silent gesture of support.

As they stood there in front of the gravestone, hand in hand, feeling the gentle spring breeze blow on their faces, with Addison watching from a distance, they felt the freedom to move on with their lives and eventually start a family. They knew that Unicorn Baby was looking down from heaven and smiling at them.

Any comments, reblogs, messages and reviews are very much appreciated. I would really love to hear from you all! Please, please do let me know what you think! <3

#amelia shepherd #owen hunt #unicorn baby #addison montgomery #charlotte king #omelia #omeliafics #omelia fanfiction #omelia fanfics #ailing's fics #grey's anatomy

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ronaldmrashid · 5 years

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Mental Illness Deserves A Sick Day Just Like A Physical Illness

What’s great about America is that we’ve got a highly productive workforce that grinds like no other. We invent some of the greatest products and consistently build some of the largest companies in the world.

What’s sad about America is that we’re working ourselves to an early death. We pride ourselves on working double digit work hours a day. We pack our schedules to the brim and never give ourselves a break.

I’m guilty of adopting the “always be grinding” mentality because I landed a a dream job in New York City after college and then migrated to San Francisco, another hyper-competitive city. I didn’t want to take my luck for granted, so I tended to constantly push myself to the limit.

Even after I left full-time work in 2012 after 13 years of 60-80-hour work weeks, I still wanted to keep the intensity up with my writing on Financial Samurai. I was free to kick back and do whatever thanks to passive income, but I refused to live a life of leisure after the first six months of freedom.

Needless self-imposed pressures are why so many of us aren’t as happy as we should be. As soon as I let go of my perennial goals of outperforming the S&P and reaching ever higher website growth, I started to feel happier.

Accept Your Mental Illness

Nobody bats an eye if you tell them you’re planning on taking several days off because you’ve come down with the flu or some nasty bacteria. Falling physically ill is normal, especially if you’ve got little ones running around.

But nobody comes out and admits they have a mental illness that’s keeping them down. Yet I argue we all experience some sort of mental illness at some point in our lives.

I come down with a mental illness at least once a year.

Sometimes I get depressed about how unfair life is. My depression always focuses on why some people have so much opportunity, while other people have so little opportunity.

I go through a guilt phase where I often ask, why me? During this time period, I have no desire to hang out with anyone. I start thinking wild ideas like relocating to Virginia over Hawaii because I need a certain amount of suffering to feel more worthy.

While living in Malaysia, one of my friend’s died in a car accident at age 15. He lost control and rammed into a tree off the highway. Yes, he legally wasn’t allowed to drive, but we were irreverent in Kuala Lumpur. The passenger in the front seat didn’t survive either.

We were skateboard buddies from different schools who would hang out over the weekend. He was one of the coolest kids around and I wanted to go out with him to the club that night, but he ignored me because I was only 13.

The next day, I called Mark to ask whether he wanted to hang out. I will always remember his mother’s voice telling me he had passed away.

I have survivor’s guilt. I’ve learned that one of the best ways of overcoming this mental condition is to journal my thoughts and be useful to others. Over the years, no other activity has helps me more.

The reason why I started Financial Samurai in July 2009 was due to extreme anxiety and fear that I was going to lose everything I spent 10 years building up until the financial crisis.

I had nightmares of having to go back to work flipping burgers at McDonald’s for a tyrant manager. As a result, perhaps I am more sensitive to financial loss than the average person.

Through my posts and now through the Financial Samurai Forum, I’ve found a supportive community that acts as my supplemental mental health care system. Over the years, so many folks have reached out to share similar thoughts.

Take Sick Days For Your Mental Health

When I advised employees to take sick days instead of PTO in my post, Using Vacation Days Before A Severance Negotiation, I expected some readers to question my advice given our grinding society.

Here are a couple negative responses,

“Your suggestion of using sick days in lieu of vacation days is a gray area. Some companies have policies which theoretically forbid that. Or, if you use a certain amount of sick days in a row (say 3 or more) you have to get a doctors note. Personally, I wouldn’t want to be relaxing on the beach in Hawaii having to call my boss each day pretending to be sick.“

“Taking a sick day when I am not sick? Sorry, my moral code won’t let me go there. A day’s pay used to be worth a couple of grand, that is significant, but the price of my word, that is nonnegotiable, or priceless, if it is a Visa commercial. And if the company is being evil, well, that’s on them, I’m fine with fighting but I only fight fair regardless of how someone else fights. What anyone else does, not my problem, what I do, I have to live with that guy.“

To a manager or CEO, these responses are music to their ears. Their goal is to have employees be max loyal to the firm, while they enrich themselves with max reward.

What the commenters don’t recognize is the importance of taking sick days to improve one’s mental health. Their automatic assumption is that sick days are only for physical illnesses, which is a big blind spot.

I used to work at a firm that allowed a three-month sabbatical for every five years of work. Unfortunately, no manager ever took a sabbatical, which meant that nobody else took a sabbatical out of fear of getting a crap bonus or worse.

But after my 8th year at the firm, I decided to take a step towards living a more balanced life by taking all my vacation days. For the last three years at my old firm, I took six weeks off a year and loved it. I stopped giving a crap about what others thought.

Interestingly, while I took six weeks off a year, my production improved. Unfortunately, my firm didn’t properly compensate me for my production. But instead of complaining, I negotiated a severance.

Types Of Mental Illnesses

Perhaps you still have doubts about how common mental illness really is. Well here is an infographic that puts together many mental health issues. I’ve written most of them out since there are so many and the graph is so small.

Types Of Anxiety

Agora

PTSD

OCD

Acute Stress Disorder

Adjustment Disorder

Substance Induced

Separation Anxiety

Selective Mutism

Caffeine Induced

Androphobia (fear of men)

Panic

Social

Generalized

Types Of Schizophrenia

Schizoaffective

Paranoid

Brief Psychotic

Schizophrenium

Delusional

Shared Psychotic

Disorganized/ Hebephrenia

Cenesthopathic

Types Of Eating Disorders

Anorexia Nervosa

Bulimia Nervosa

Binge Eating

Eating Disorder Not Other Specified (EDNOS)

Atypical

Purging

Night/Nocturnal

Orthorexia

Pica

Types Of Self Harm

Cutting

Carving

Using Objects (kicking or punching a wall)

Scratching

Picking

Ripping Skin off

Promiscuity

Burning

Hair Pulling

Rubbing objects on the skin

Misusing or Abusing Alcohol or drugs

Eating Disorders

Suicide Attempt

Law Breaking

Poisoning with toxic chemicals

Excessive exercise

Multiple piercings and/or tattoos

Overspending money

Types of ADD/ADHD

Inattentive

Hyperactive-Impulsive

Classic ADD

Overfocused ADD

Temporal Lobe ADD

Limbic ADD

Ring of Fire ADD

Anxious ADD

Types of Addiction

Alcoholism

Drugs

Nicotine

Food

Gambling

Internet

Sexual

Shopping

Work

Video Games

Plastic Surgery

OTC Medications

Arson

People Pleasing

Perfectionism

Sick Days Are Built Into Your Compensation Package

Not utilizing your sick days or PTO or not taking unemployment benefits is foolish because they are part of your compensation package. Your employer pays unemployment insurance, which directly affects your compensation.

Don’t be a proud ignoramus like me who only took maybe 15 sick days after 11 years of service, when I was allotted 77 sick days. Definitely don’t be one of those people who hoard their PTO and actually lose some of their days because they exceeded the carryover limit.

Take your sick days, take your vacation days, use short-term disability and long-term disability when needed.

You don’t feel bad about your employer subsidizing most of your healthcare costs. So why should you feel bad about taking sick days?

If your employer gets around the unpaid PTO issue by offering unlimited PTO, your mission is to take more PTO, especially if you are planning to do something else. Test the the word “unlimited.” So long as you’re hitting your performance metrics, you should be fine.

We’re in a tight labor market folks. The very least you can do is take advantage of all your benefits. And for goodness sake, let’s all accept that mental illness affects us all in some way.

Once you embrace the ubiquity of mental illness, you will develop more empathy for those whom you find uncomfortable.

Related: Using The Family Medical Leave Act To Negotiate A Severance

Readers, why doesn’t society do a better job at recognizing mental illnesses? Why do some people feel embarrassed or conflicted about taking sick days or PTO? Have people been conditioned this badly to not recognize their benefits?

The post Mental Illness Deserves A Sick Day Just Like A Physical Illness appeared first on Financial Samurai.

from https://www.financialsamurai.com/mental-illness-deserves-a-sick-day-just-like-a-physical-illness/

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