#I think in uni Alice convinced him it was a good idea and he's either still growing it out or he keeps it up

[ratwizz]

From a Snake Queen to a Solitaire Peasant <\3

#In my brain I had to give Sam nasty frosted tips #I think in uni Alice convinced him it was a good idea and he's either still growing it out or he keeps it up #Either way nasty white tips #I hope I can post my Alice sam and Gwen doodles soon!! #tmp fanart #tmp #redacted tmp #the magnus protocol #the magnus protocol fanart #my art #wizzart #the magnus archives fanart #the magnus archives #tma #tma fanart #alice dyer #samama khalid #tma comic #tmp comic #Tmagp

[svu-ncis-criminalminds]

Mistakes and First Kisses

For the lovely @infiniteoddball who requested :  Hey! Can I make a request?? Fake Dating AU paired with heated argument leading to kiss/sex? Preferably with Barba or Benson?

I went with Barba, there is no smut in this, I didn’t feel like it fit. However if you wanted to request a part two I’m sure I could work something out :)

Hey! Can I make a request?? Fake Dating AU paired with heated argument leading to kiss/sex? Preferably with Barba or Benson?

“Remember, Barba,” You gave the man a toothy grin as Olivia did her best to hide the wiring you were wearing under your skimpy dress, “You’re rich, an asshole, and out looking for a good time. Also, we’re undercover.” Barba gave you a pointed look, pulling his expensive suit jacket back on once Nick was satisfied his wire was where it needed to be. 

“You’re funny, y/n. Anyone ever told you that before?” You smirked and finally pulled away from Olivia doing a twirl.

“How do I look? Escort-y enough?” You asked, earning an appreciative look from a few of the unis hanging around the area. 

“An expensive one too, not a cheap dollar hooker,” Sonny assured you, you tossed your head back and laughed. 

“You’re sweet,” You smiled, grabbing your purse off your desk, “I’m ready.”

“Let’s go over the plan one more time.” Olivia ordered gently, not wanting to take any risks. “Barba will be at the lounge waiting for you, you’re going to meet him there. Chat him up. Remember he ordered you, so Barba, try and not look like ... well, that.” Everyone looked at the man who was scowling. He didn’t want to be doing this, he didn’t want you to be doing this. High class escorts servicing promident men have been getting attacked. The man was usually beaten into a pulp, while the escorts had been raped and tortured. So far nothing you had done had gotten you any closer, thus this overcover was born. Much to the ADA’s dismay. Barba put on a sarcastic smile and Olivia frowned at him, “Are you sure you can do this.” 

“I’ve voiced my concerns. They’ve been ignored.” 

“We can send Carisi.” 

“A detective with student loans? He could never afford her, they’d know.” You flushed slightly at being spoken about like that. Something about it coming from Barba’s mouth softened the blow. 

“Anyway, chat, have a few drinks, Rollins and Fin will be inside keeping their eyes open. When we tell you to, you’re going to go upstairs. Sit pretty until we tell you otherwise, we need him in the room before we can move, got it?”

“Got it,” You both chimed. 

“Let’s roll.”

Carisi dropped you off at the lounge in a discrete black car, giving you a reassuring smile as you got out. 

“You’ll do fine,” You smiled back and nodded before shutting the door and flipping your hair over your shoulder, straightening your back, and trying your damnedest to not be nervous. You had to be sexy, charming enough to convince whoever was attacking these women that should be his next target. You entered the upclass establishment and looked around before spotting the man, lounging with a drink in his hands. Not his usual amber liquid either, probably a rum and coke, hold the rum. You approached him, trying to look sure of yourself, making sure your hands weren’t shaking.

“Rafael Barba?” You asked, smiling down at the man, eyes large and innocent. He looked up and you saw his adams apple bob as he swallowed before nodding. You smiled back, “May I sit?” 

“It would be my pleasure, Alice right?” The fake name the squad had come up with echoed in your ears as you sat down beside him on the small chaise lounger. 

“Try not to look so damn uncomfortable, Barba.” Fin’s voice sounded off in both of your ears and the man beside you grunted. So you took initiative, scooting closer to the man and resting your hand on his arm. 

“What are you drinking?” He peered into the glass, like if he stared long enough he might turn coke into something a little stronger. 

“A diet coke,” He responded simply. You frowned before smiling again, he wasn’t giving you much to work with. You grabbed a passing waitress and smiled up at her. 

“I’ll have what he’s having, please.” She nodded before disappearing to go get your drink. You turned back to the man, still smiling as he sulked slightly. 

“We’re on a date,” You whispered, “Try and at least look at me.” Barba looked up at you, a worriedness you hadn’t seen before behind his eyes. 

“This is a bad idea.” You pressed a finger to his lips, eyes going cold for a moment. You weren’t about to let him blow this because he was worried. Women were at risk until you put this monster away. 

“Shush,” You murmured, trying to sound playful and not harsh, “Is this your first time going on a date.” You both knew what you meant by date. Barba thought you were trying a little too hard to be obvious. No one in their right might would think you would be here with him without a payout involved. But he tried to loosen up and play along. 

“I’ve been out of the game for a while, work is my life, I don’t have time for anything that isn’t noncommittal.” He explained the half truth. Truth be told, he had recently tried to get back into dating, but it was too hard. Not simply because of the job, but mostly because they weren’t you. You cooed at the man and accepted your drink when the waitress came back before turning to him again. 

“Well, I’m your girl then. For the night.” He smiled softly at that. Only for the night indeed. 

“Keep it up, we got a guy eyeing you at 6 o’clock, don’t look.” You smiled at Barba and continued your flirting routine. Giggling and touching his arm whenever you could, flipping your hair over your shoulder to expose your neck and collarbone to the man, you saw him swallow hard and gave his arm another squeeze of reassurance. 

The man eventually loosened up as he talked to you about work in certain terms. This Barba, however, was a private attorney. The big bucks. You continued to laugh and smile and nod in all the right places, eyes concentrated on his face like he was the only man in the room. As far as dates went, you’d been on worse. Occasionally Rollins or Fin or Olivia would say something into the earpieces you were wearing, instructing you to do one thing or another. 

“Kiss him and take him upstairs.” Kiss? You flushed slightly, at Olivia’s command. Who said anything about kissing. 

“Sell it,” Rollins added and you could practically hear the grin on her face. You sighed and smiled, putting a hand on the man’s face. Barba seemed frozen in his spot so you leaned in and pressed a few simple kisses to his lips. He didn’t react. You frowned. 

“Did I do something wrong?” You asked, trying to save face, “You paid for the evening I thought you-”

“Barba,” Olivia warned. 

“I can’t do this,” He stared blankly, and you began to panic. 

“Move upstairs,” Olivia’s own voice mirrored how you felt. “Now.” She added on harshly. Barba didn’t budge. You tried one more time to lean in and kiss him and he pushed you away, standing up suddenly. 

“I need some air.” 

“Barba,” Multiple voices, including your own cried out but the man was already walking swiftly towards the doors. 

“Rafael,” You called after him, getting up and following him close behind, grabbing the back of his jacket and hissing through gritted teeth, “What are you doing.” He pulled away from you and kept walking, outside in the night. You followed still, struggling to keep up in the heels you’d chosen to wear. “Rafael!” He turned to you shaking his head as Olivia and Carisi rushed up to you. 

“What the hell?” Benson asked, fire in her own eyes. “Barba, what the hell was that.” 

“You’re going to have to find him another way, try doing your jobs!” He snapped back and Benson’s face steeled. 

“Get out of here. Go home.” She glared slightly, “think about the next victim while you try and fall asleep tonight.” With that she turned and walked away. Barba at least had the decency to look guilty briefly, before his face turned sour again. 

“Something to say, Carisi?” the man barked. The detective looked sadly at the lawyer, the main emotion on his face was utter disappointment. He turned and walked away, following his boss back towards the car they had been waiting in. You continued to stand next to Barba, arms crossed. He turned and began to walk away again and you continued to follow. 

“Oh no, we aren’t done here.” 

“Yes we are.” You continued to follow him, a few steps behind him in silence, both of you seething. 

“Are you planning on walking all the way back to your apartment so we can argue there, or would you like to get this over with and actually fucking talk about what just happened?” He ignored you and picked up your pace, so you stopped and took your shoes off before jogging to catch up with him, walking beside him now. “Are you an idiot?” You asked. 

“Go away, Y/N. Go home. It’s done.” He ordered you, voice more gruff then he ever used with you. You frowned. 

“What the hells is this about?” You snapped, “Listen, I get it, you didn’t want to do it for whatever reason. But you agreed, you know the risks these women face and you blew it!” He turned on you, finger pointing into your face. 

“I didn’t sign up for that!” He yelled and you stepped back surprised. He seemed shocked at his own outburst and dropped his hand. “Go home.” 

“No.” You crossed your arms again, “Get us a Lyft. Now. We’re going to yours and we are talking about this. Or I will continue to follow you home barefoot and I will pound on your door until your neighbors call the police. See how the DA likes that!” He stood there for another minute before fishing his phone out of his pocket and tapping it a few times. 

“You’re going to be the death of me.” 

“And you’ll be the death of all those men.” You snapped again. Then you felt back, “Look I’m sorry, okay?” He just shook his head, putting the phone away and staring anywhere but you. You were right. He was the reason more people were going to die. All because he couldn’t handle you. Couldn’t handle you flirting, or the kissing, or even bringing you up to a hotel room. No matter how many times he told himself you were just acting, no matter how many lives it saved. It couldn’t. It hurt too much. 

A car pulled up and Barba checked the plates before opening the door and ushering you in. You sat the entire ride in silence, both looking out of your respective windows. You arrived at the man's apartment and got out, the silence following you all the way upstairs and to his apartment door. Once inside you crossed your arms yet again, rubbing some warmth back into them. 

“Are you cold?” Barba asked quietly and you shrugged before shaking your head. 

“Don’t be nice to me. I’m mad at you.” You said, frowning deeply. He frowned back and shrugged his shoulders. 

“Suit yourself. Be difficult.” You watched him go to the kitchen, getting two glasses from the cabinet. 

“Me difficult?” You laughed bitterly, “Says the man who just blew our entire investigation out of the water.” 

“Your investigation? It’s not really a case if it’s a last ditch effort.” He snapped. He poured two glasses of scotch and offered one to you, which you snatched from him. 

“So what? We’re going to sit on our asses and try nothing? If you didn’t like our tactics you were more then welcome to come up with a better idea.” 

“It’s not my job! It’s yours, and obviously you can’t do it.” Ouch. That one stung. You flinched and took a sip of the drink, allowing the burning to wash over you. 

“Guess I’ll just quit then, since my sense of worth is completely dependent on whether or not /you/ think I am doing a good job!” You raised your voice and the man glared, coming towards you.

“Mind shutting up? I have neighbors.” 

“Fuck your neighbors, alright?” You stopped, lowering your voice again, and Barba could see the hurt written across your features. He wished nothing more than to pull you into his arms, to beg you to forgive him. “This isn’t you, Rafael.” You spoke finally. It was his turn to wince, both at your words and the tender and unfamiliar use of his first name. “Not the champion of victims that I know.” 

“Well maybe you don’t know me as much as you thought.” You both stared at each other for a moment before you nodded, setting the cup you were holding on the coffee table. 

“Maybe I don’t. Because I thought I knew a good man. A kind man, who cared. This-” You gestured towards him shaking your head, “Isn’t him.” You turned towards the door.  You got about two steps away when you felt hands on you, turning you around. Then there were lips on your lips. The kiss ended as soon as it began. Barba stepped back. 

“I’m sorry. I just- I never got the chance to kiss you back. And I’m sorry.” He cleared his throat, “You’re right, I messed up. I messed the whole thing up. Because I couldn’t handle pretending to kiss you, touch you, flirt with you. I was selfish, I cared about my own emotions more than the lives of innocent people, and I am sorry.” You were frozen where you stood staring back at the man whose lips were just on yours. “I’m sorry,” He said again. You weren’t sure you ever heard Rafael Barba apologize before, and now he has uttered those words four times in about thirty seconds. 

“I forgive you.” Your voice came out in a whisper, arms wrapping around yourself. “I won’t say it’s okay, because it’s not. But you’re forgiven. We will figure it out, somehow, someway.” You promised. “But a word of advice.” 

“Yes?” 

“Don’t try and kiss Liv when you apologize and grovel to her tomorrow.” 

“I don’t grovel,” He smirked slightly, you smirked back.

“Well you better start.” You took a step towards him, reaching up to rest your hands on his chest, toying with his tie. “You could start now,” You gazed up at the man whose hands had found your hips. He leaned down and kissed you again, slowly, lovingly. You kissed him back this time, relishing in your first mutual kiss. When he pulled back he placed a hand on your cheek, thumb gently rubbing it. 

“Thank you.” He whispered, you tilted your head slightly. 

“For what?”

“For reminding me who I am.” You smiled and leaned up, stealing another kiss from the man, who pulled you into a warm embrace, kissing your forehead several times.

#svu #law and order svu #svu imagine #svu x reader #law and order svu x reader #rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba x you #rafael barba headcanon #rafael barba x yn

[beanie-bottom]

saRA au where all the characters are housemates and live in the same building. Chaos ensues. No one ever sleeps, gin is often found in various closets or on top of places he shouldnt be able to reach. Sou is almost always doing something cryptic or ominous w keiji on his tail bc What if he breAKS SOMETHING- and sara is the Peace keeper which never goes well. What r ur thoughs owo - jouminecraft

*cracks knuckles* lets d o t h is (but under a cut bc l one)

first of all the apartment complex belongs to mishima because to me he honestly seems like a landlord (but the nice kind)

nao is the one who’s lived there the longest, then sou and keiji and after that everyone joined until the newest residents sara and joe

both reko and alice and sara and joe live together (and nao has her own room in mishimas apartment because she’s basically his daughter anyway)

mishima only rents apartments to people who really need one and don’t have much money, and he personally arranges prices with each one, to adjust it to the amount they’re able to spend

for example, nao is a struggling student, gin’s mom a single mom etc.

he’s really nice and all the residents love and adore him (and so should you)

yea so, gin’s mom obviously left his dad (as she should in any good au) and their life isn’t exactly perfect, gin still has nightmares about his dad and while physical scars may have faded the ones left on the soul will take time

but everyone helps them and is there for them so all’s well that ends well

kanna lives with her dad. her parents divorced without any complications, they simply decided it wasn’t working anymore and it would be better to go separate ways than life together and have the kids sense the uneasiness. initially they agreed that the mom would take both kanna and her sister with her,but kanna didn’t want her dad to be all alone so she decided to go with him

both her mom and sister were sad and tried to convince her otherwise but her mind was set. they still regularly meet up tho

nevertheless kanna still misses her sister a lot, that’s probably why she instantly latches onto sou

sou is like ???  when that sweet kid latches onto him and basically follows him around 24/7 and looks up to him and he’s just;;;; constantly scared of fucking up

keiji constantly teases him about ‘his little puppy’ but also encourages him that he’s doing great with her

naos an art student and works part time at a flower shop, reko and alice have their band (bc yesh), aara and joe art first years in uni and work part time at a coffee shop, keiji is uhhh well he SAYS he’s a policeman but-, q-taro is the same as canon, kai is a semi-famous chef and honestly who the fuck even knows what sou does

(as one of those peeps that get paid for intentionally hacking into company’s security to expose weaknesses, but if u honestly think he doesn’t leave a loophole for himself then you are a fool-)

actually both keiji and mishima know what he does for a living but they think it’s fun seeing everyone guessing (it’s one of the nine mysteries of the mishima apartment complex)

actually speaking of keiji and sou, literally EVERYONE, including nao, who’s lived there months BEFORE either sou or had keiji moved in, think the two are dating

are they tho?

who the fudge knows, they sure as hell don’t

(mishima does tho)

gin INSTANTLY latches onto sara bc he accidentally ripped his cat plushie the first time he met her and she instantly repaired it, without hesitation

stuff like that leaves an impression on a boy

and joe producing ice cream out of nowhere does, too

basically everyone is understanding of kanna’s dad’s and gin’s mom’s situation and someone’s always there to babysit them if the need arises 

kanna and gin basically establish a greater bond with each other than even sara and joe

except if it comes to whether sara and sou is better bc then:

sometimes they meet up in the hallways and just run through all the floors anyone they know lives on until someone just lets them in

they insist they’re not doing it on purpose, that they’re just bored, but they’re a little TOO satisfied while eating the snacks they get offered

reko and alice had their fair share of problems in the past, but both of them have been trying very hard to rebuild their broken relationship and moving in together has been a good choice for that

alice does everyone’s hair! he always styles it for the band and it’s fun, and he makes the craziest hair styles. kanna and gin are always awed at his creations

reko tried to teach both kanna and gin the piano, but after a while it got obvious that kanna had more of an affinity for it. but gin’s always rooting for her and the first one to listen while she’s practicing

sou has two cats. they’re outdoor cats so for the longest time everyone saw them but didn’t know who they belonged to, until sara finally notices what looks suspiciously like cat hair clinging to sou’s clothes…..

the cats are very friendly and outgoing and whenever someone falls asleep one sou’s couch they immediately cuddle up to them

and with cuddle up i mean lie on your face

no one has the heart to remove them though

since sou has the biggest apartment (seriously, WHERE does he get the money for it? and all that fancy stuff? sara’s going mad not knowing, especially since he’s always at home!! sometimes he doesn’t even get his own groceries, he just sends gin and kanna to get them - telling them they can get themselves sweets ofc, but that’s not the point!!) kai usually invites everyone over for dinner at sou’s at least once or twice. sou always complains why no one ever asks him for permission, but all of them see that he enjoys kai’s food just as much as everyone else so there’s that

joe and sara actually live together because joe didn’t want to burden his family any longer and also wanted to be independent and sara just… went along with it because why not. could be fun. they’re actually pretty good roommates, everyone does their part (most of the time, at least - sara will never let Joe forget that one time she asked him to wash her pantyhose and he didn’t and she had to go out in socks and a skirt during winter)

jsjef ok so I think that’s enough for now bc I don’t want it to be.. heh..to m much.. haha but i still have more ideas, and you can always ask me about this au! (or any of my other aus, honestly)

@jouminecraft

#I hope the wait was worth it bro #Keisou #Sou hiyori #Sara chidouin #Joe tazuna #Keiji shinogi #Kanna kizuchi #Gin ibushi #U know what I'm not gonna add everyone so sjsjs #kimi ga shine #MAC AU #Mali's posts #Answered ask #Omg I just put it through a word counter n #It's 1105 words #Jfc

[tmararepairs]

Claimed, thank you!

Pinch hit #1

Deadline is February 13. If you can fill in for this, please send an ask and include your ao3 username!

All requests are for fic. Details under cut. Ships include: Eric Delano/Mary Keay, Georgie Barker/Alex Brooke, Georgie Barker/Karolina Górka, Georgie Barker & Jonathan Sims, Georgie Barker/Jonathan Sims, Gerard Keay & Gertrude Robinson, Gerard Keay & Jonathan Sims, Jonathan Sims & Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Martin Blackwood/Gerard Keay/Jonathan Sims, Martin Blackwood/Gerard Keay/Jonathan Sims/Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood/Sasha James/Jonathan Sims/Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood/The Vast

Request 1 by Rozzlynn Eric Delano/Mary Keay (Fic) Summary A closer look at their relationship would be interesting! How did Eric reconcile the sort of worldview that let him judge Gertrude for 'ruining lives' with his love for Mary even knowing she was a murderer? How did his love of ghosts and danger play out in his job and their marriage? How useful was he to her, before she decided to get rid of him? Did he have any qualms about the way Mary was raising Gerry those couple of years when he was trying to quit so he could be there for his son? Could go for something set during canon, or a divergence where he survives for longer somehow? (Doing something that convinced Mary he was worth keeping once he was blind? Doubting her and breaking up over Gerry's future, with Mary's part in those events shown? Third party interference triggering a different path, e.g. someone targeting the Archivist's assistants, and Mary stepping in for Eric's sake, with butterfly effect consequences?) Creepy pregnancy fic? A second child?

DNW: - Pure PWP (though explicit content is welcome in fics that also show their lives outside of sex). - Eric committing sexual violence. (On the other hand, if you have a plotbunny that involves Mary being awful to Eric as part of their relationship deteriorating, feel free to go with that. But don't feel that you have to write violence between them, of any sort.) - A sole focus on book-ghost Eric, since by then the 'real' him is dead and he doesn't feel quite how he did while alive, and the show's covered his state of mind at that point. - Child!Gerry dying or suffering beyond-canon-typical abuse. - Noncanonical side ships coming up. (To err on the side of caution.) - Waterworks/scat.

Request 2 by Rozzlynn Georgie Barker/Alex Brooke, Georgie Barker/Karolina Górka (Fic) Summary What sort of chemistry did Georgie have with Alex? What sort could she have with Karolina? Something about fairly fearless and practical girls sticking together. Prompt ideas:

- Alex comes back as an end avatar. Georgie, with her emotions still not really working, but no fear in the mix, and some lingering love still present, has a hard time figuring out how to react. (Tries to work out what happened to Alex? Tries to rekindle whatever she thinks she ought to feel? Finds out Alex is taking victims, and destroys her to save others, leaving her emotions all the more a mess? Could be before she met Jon, or something she hides from him while they're friends or dating, or Jon is really creeped out and worried by all this - maybe Alex almost kills him.)

- Entity swap alternate encounter for Georgie and Alex at uni - something where Georgie still comes out fearless, but things play out differently for them?

- Karolina seems extremely unflappable, showing no fear even in the statement nightmares when she's crushed to death. And yet the fears still have more of a foothold with her, since she's not as wholly immune to dream violence as Georgie. Something where they meet, and are both interested to see how someone else is dealing practically with the horrors of the world they live in? With Georgie relieved that, hey, here's someone who won't imply she's stupid for not fearing danger. And trying to help Karolina find even more genuine equilibrium, if she figures out that she's still struggling on some level - a heavily repressed fear response buried under fatalistic acceptance? Is she too fatalistic to fully enjoy life, her feelings choked by the pressure that has her still shedding dust everywhere? Does Georgie manage to help?

- Possible Georgie/Melanie/Karolina, if Melanie's already in the picture, maybe trying to bring up things learned from therapy.

- Sensory play, to help process things, with plot- and characterisation-relevant discussion of the results.

- (For dark humour, could add Georgie and Karolina falling asleep together, and both of them being in an 'oh fuck off, Jon' mood when they see him in their nightmares a few minutes later. Not that they can talk in the dreamscape, but, y'know. Mood.)

DNWs - Georgie dying, or still feeling fear. (Not counting something partially set before her encounter, so long as she's fearless afterwards.) - Melanie getting excluded from anything around the time she'd be there in canon. - Noncanonical side ships coming up (besides passing mentions of prior partners). - Apocalypse - Noncon (though dubcon from the extreme difficulty any of them might have processing feelings would be ok, so long as they work with each other when they actually piece things together). - PWP - Waterworks/scat.

Request 3 by Rozzlynn Georgie Barker & Jonathan Sims, Georgie Barker/Jonathan Sims (Fic) Summary I'd be really interested in something from their uni days! Building on what Georgie's said about that time: "I numbly got myself some water, and ignored my weeping mother. She tried to hug me, but her arms just slid off my limp shoulders. And that was my life for several months. Eventually, the memory began to fade, and I started to feel again. I took the year out of university under the umbrella of ‘medical reasons’, and by the time I met you I was, well, I don’t think I’ll ever be the same person I was before, but I had started being able to actually live again."

Given that Georgie was only starting to be able to feel things again (minus fear), and Jon seems to have always been an emotional wreck to some degree even when he tried to come across as functional, and uni's a place where young people tend to have some ups and downs adapting to adult life for the first time even if they're not dealing with supernatural trauma... well, that must have been a weird time for them, right?

- Jon being bad at dealing with anything on an emotional level, still getting used to not living with his grandmother, trying to keep up academically, exaggerating his accent, getting carried away with things he dives into with his problems with moderation, but maybe still having trouble focusing on the sort of work that requires him to 'read the same book twice'.

- Georgie having enough trouble processing her own emotions that she doesn't register as an issue things that she'd criticise Jon for by the time she's gotten to where she is in canon.

- Both of them going through the motions a bit, with 'functional adult' life things as well as relationship things. The presence of another person encouraging them to somewhat keep up healthy habits like food, rest, study breaks and keeping deadlines, even when they'd feel a bit dissociated on their own? And/or one of them going off the rails in a 'students making bad life choices' way, and getting some solidarity from the other (sure, let's stay up three days in a row to study, then build a marshmallow fort just because we can and fall asleep in it and wake up with sticky hair').

- Experimenting with sex/kink? Any shade of ace for Jon; if sex-repulsed then figuring out what other kinds of intimacy they'd enjoy, if sex-indifferent or -positive then figuring out how much they feel from that kind of activity (and from nonsexual stuff too, cause why not)? (I'm not looking for PWP, but would be interested in stuff with awkwardness, character/relationship development, humour - including any plotbunnies where they give up on experimentation that's not working out and have a laugh about it.)

- Either or both of them getting triggered by a reminder of their supernatural encounters, and trying to cope without actually explaining what happened. The sound of knocking at a bad time bringing up memories of Mr Spider? A friend watching a crime show with corpses on screen that act as a reminder of things that are still unpleasant to recall even if they don't incite fear? Georgie missing Alex and needing some space? Jon's survivor's guilt flaring up and making him a bit paranoid for Georgie's safety, trying to subtly check friends' bookshelves for Leitners when they visit (and not being subtle, so just coming across as really weird)?

- Going on a trip during the holidays or after graduation? Georgie learning how prone Jon is to wandering off and getting lost? A restaurant meal where Jon sees a spider and has to kill it, even if it means getting too close to another table / the kitchens / the ceiling? Georgie getting annoyed at rude posh people and wistfully thinking that Alex would have confronted them (and possibly punched them), and maybe feeling pleased when Jon questions them over something a bit pedantic until they want to punch him?

- Breaking up when Georgie's recovered to the point where she's getting more functional than in her first few years after the End incident, and seeing more of a problem with Jon's behaviour? And Jon seeing that as things ending really badly because it feels like she's gotten to know him and decided he's not good enough, even over things that she didn't used to mind?

DNWs - Self-hate over asexuality as an orientation. (Worries about compatibility are fine, and they could get upset over activities going badly, so long as heavy acephobia isn't involved; if he doesn't blame his orientation any more than he blames hers. Or they could both be biromantic ace, with no reason to blame that for their problems.) - AU where they didn't break up, or where they got back together. In other words, keep them exes for the parts of the timeline where that's canon. (But the fill could be set entirely before the breakup.) - Noncanonical side ships coming up (besides passing mentions of prior partners). - PWP (I like plotfic, with or without explicit content) - Noncon/waterworks/scat

Request 4 by Rozzlynn Gerard Keay & Gertrude Robinson, Gerard Keay & Jonathan Sims (Fic) Summary Some Gerry lives fic? With some of the same prompts as the Gerry ships request, if you feel like using them as a setup for platonic bonding rather than a shippy polypile:

- Gerry helping with Gertrude's plan to kill Jonah and destroy the Institute, which succeeds this time, and maybe meeting & bringing in some of the others while they're still working in Research / Artefact Storage / the Library. (Since non-Archive staff can quit without blinding themselves, fair to assume they're not tied closely enough to Jonah to die if he dies? So only Gertrude has to worry about that part. Maybe Gerry helps her to the hospital?)

- Gerry finding out that Gertrude is part-desolation (she mentions burning inside, and her ritual circle mitigating the worst effects - can she light a cigarette with her bare hands?), and/or finding out she's working with Leitner too. Possibly precipitated by a spooky attack that they deal with together?

- Gerry being alive and meeting Jon, giving him more info/warning about Beholding at some point in the timeline. (Early enough that Jon tries to turn down the Archivist position and warn off the others too? Gerry knows that Jonah killed Gertrude and tries to enlist some help in taking him down? Early s1 Jon gets warned off live statements by a Gerry who learned why Gertrude usually avoided them, and they try to protect themselves and the archive assistants from Jonah's attempts to organise attacks on the Institute to traumatise Jon with every entity?)

DNWs: - Completely mundane AUs. - Character death or full monsterhood for Gerry, Jon, or Jon's assistants (canon's got that covered in many ways and I'd like to see their living potential explored). - Apocalypse - Shippy Gerry/Gertrude or Gerry/Jon (except Gerry and Jon in a polypile, but that's in another request, see below). - Other noncanonical ships, in general. (Platonic focus preferred for this one, but if, e.g., Basira/Daisy or Georgie/Melanie somehow comes up, ok to mention that that still happens.) - Noncon/waterworks/scat.

Request 5 by Rozzlynn Jonathan Sims & Alice "Daisy" Tonner (Fic) Summary Something exploring their friendship post-coffin? They seem to end up getting each other's mistakes without condoning them, understanding how much of it was supernatural coercion, trauma response, and their own flaws, and sharing a very dry, dark sense of humour. They've seen some interesting sides of each other, and moved past the attempted murder and supernaturally inflicted trauma nightmares even though both must've been pretty awful at the time. Neither of them have many other friends who could get exactly how badly messed up their lives are and stick with them, besides those who are actively unrepentantly evil like Helen (and whatever mix of denial and turning a blind eye Basira's approach was, and Martin who wanted Jon to do better but refused to get directly involved during his own crisis).

- Jon and Daisy supporting each other's attempts to stay relatively human? Discussing the past, and the others? Daisy keeping an eye on Jon while Basira and Rosie are dealing with the people who come to the Institute to give written statements - the sort of thing that led Jon to tell Martin that their intervention was exactly what he needed?

- S4 canon divergence, with one of the finale episodes taking a different turn?

- Jon and Daisy managing to do something positive for the others (Basira, Melanie, Martin)?

- Passing mention of the 'normal' institute staff being creeped out by running into Jon and Daisy (both of them looking dangerous and half dead, with rumours about murders and disappearances still following them around). Daisy coping better than Jon with this. Basira effectively being the archivist everyone deals with if they can help it. (Melanie's not quite as scary as she used to be, but she's barely around... Who'd have thought Martin would end up siding with the evil new boss...?) Though if you go with this prompt, at least part of the fic from Daisy or Jon's pov preferred, rather than entirely outsider pov.

- Melanie trying to pass on therapeutic advice and activities (based on whatever mundane version of events she told her therapist about them); Daisy and Jon trying to listen, not necessarily liking all of it, and putting some of the activites into practice bc they need to keep busy (maybe not necessarily lasting long before making a dark joke of it, maybe finding it helpful anyway).

DNWs - Feral!Daisy within the fill, unless she manages to come around without permanently reverting to the Hunt or going on a killing spree against innocents in the meantime or anything. - Jon taking statements within the fill (except from other monsters if they bring on a crisis, like with Peter). - Apocalypse. - Shippy Jon/Daisy, except in a Basira/Daisy/Jon/Martin polypile where some of them share and/or are friends with benefits. - Other noncanonical ships coming up. - PWP - Noncon/waterworks/scat.

Request 6 by Rozzlynn Martin Blackwood/Gerard Keay/Jonathan SimsMartin Blackwood/Gerard Keay/Jonathan Sims/Tim Stoker (Fic) Summary Have fun with an AU that gives them a chance to shine? Divergences from the canon while Gerry was around, or alternate settings, so they can be alive together. Prompt ideas:

- Gerry helping Tim after Danny's death, or meeting Danny in time to avert it.

- Gerry telling Jon more about Gertrude and the supernatural than he had the chance to in canon, and helping his statement addiction stabilise at around the same level as Gertrude's, questioning any impulsive use of compelling so that Jon thinks it through and gets stricter with himself (especially with Martin and Tim's input), trying out protective measures to mitigate the statement nightmares for everyone involved (since with the tattoos and everything he learned working with Mary and Gertrude, Gerry seems to know a thing or two about channeling and hiding from the eye, using supernatural powers without losing himself).

- Jon still finding Eric's tape eventually, and Gerry hearing about his dad's life that way, while the others deal with the knowledge of how to quit.

- Exploring the tunnels and Jon meeting Leitner under different circumstances, Gerry finding out 'wait that really was him?' and Leitner still being scared after he beat him up that time, Martin trying to stop another fight, Tim wanting to find out more about Smirke from Leitner.

- Gerry meeting the others while they're still working in the Research & Library departments; they all help with Gertrude's plan to kill Jonah and destroy the Institute, and make enough of a difference that it succeeds. (Since non-Archive staff can quit without blinding themselves, fair to assume they're not tied closely enough to Jonah to die if he dies? So only Gertrude has to worry about that part. Could include Sasha helping as a friend, and Basira and Daisy lending police support? Maybe after Gertrude quits, the next Archivist that Beholding picks is someone at the sister organisation in China or America, and Gertrude gives them some advice.)

- Alternate careers with section 31 equivalents. E.g. Jon as a surgeon (his grandma made him study medicine) with an eye for dealing with supernatural injuries? Tim got into architecture or the occult side of publishing, or became a cop? Martin got into something really random from applying to absolutely everything with a fake cv - maybe working several jobs / nightshifts and giving a statement after running into spooky trouble? Or working at the occult store with Jane and Oliver, and meeting Gerry while he worked at the bookshop? (How much more exasperated would Martin have been if he knew Jane before she went wormy and she still besieged his flat? Maybe Gerry helped, and Jon worked for the ECDC?)

- Mixed feelings over the holidays, since they all have/had difficult family situations. Learning to look after each other (Martin feeling appreciated for his efforts to take care of his loved ones, Tim feeling supported, Jon feeling that he can protect them all and there's no crisis to jump at or information he's missing, Gerry feeling understood by people who know about the supernatural and want to build a life free of the worst of it alongside him). Holiday preparations with their friends - Sasha, Georgie, Melanie, The Admiral. Jon's tendency to need mental stimulus and to get carried away manifests as ridiculously overdoing something like gift shopping, cooking attempts, or planning a trip (and still overlooking things he should've foreseen - so it's a good thing problem solving is a team effort).

DNWs: - Completely mundane AUs. - Other noncanonical ships coming up. (Unless you want to include Sasha in a plot where she lives, joining the main polypile, or a triad with Melanie and Georgie. Mentions of oc previous partners are also ok.) - Self-hate over asexuality as an orientation. (Worries about compatibility are fine, so long as heavy acephobia isn't involved; if Jon doesn't blame his orientation any more than he blames anyone else's. Any shade of ace is ok.) - Character death within the ship. (Not keen on book!Gerry for this, as he didn't want to exist that way for long.) - Anyone in the ship going unrepentantly evil as a full monster. - Apocalypse - Noncon within the ship. (If you want to include an element of hurt/comfort over any of them having previously suffered bad things outside of this ship, then feel free.) - PWP - Waterworks/scat.

Request 7 by Rozzlynn Martin Blackwood/Sasha James/Jonathan Sims/Tim Stoker (Fic) Summary Have fun with an AU that gives them a chance to shine? Divergences from the canon while Sasha was around, or alternate settings, so they can be alive together. Prompt ideas:

- Sasha meeting the others during a misadventure in Artefact Storage (while Jon and Tim worked in research and Martin worked in the library).

- Sasha finding out how Gertrude really lived in time to help with her retirement plan, getting the others involved one way or another. They kill Jonah and make plans for what to do after the Institute's destroyed, counting their blessings that they never worked in the Archive.

- During the chaos and panic of Prentiss' attack, Sasha accidentally knocked Elias into the tidal wave of worms before she made it to the fire suppression system and saved the others. (Jonah's body in the panopticon is alive and kinda stuck there, so they all live). They're upset about losing the head of the institute... until they listen to Gertrude's tapes and learn what's really going on. Jon tells the others how much he's becoming like Gertrude (nightmares, compulsion), and when they know everything the audience knows as of current canon, he quits with the others' support to stay human.

- Hurt/comfort over near-death experiences

- Going on a long holiday together after it's all over. Sasha and Jon picking museums to visit, Jon and Martin lingering in bookshop cafes, Martin and Tim picking scenic outdoor routes to visit, and Tim trying to get the others involved in sporty outdoor activities (too bad they're all nerds, but they give things a go, mostly).

- Alternate careers with section 31 equivalents.

- Mixed feelings over the holidays, since they all have/had difficult family situations, assuming Sasha fits Jonah's trend of hiring people without many attachments. Learning to look after each other (Martin feeling appreciated for his efforts to take care of his loved ones, Tim feeling supported, Jon feeling that he can protect them all and there's no crisis to jump at or information he's missing, Sasha feeling intellectually fulfilled with nothing left to truly fear). Jon's tendency to need mental stimulus and to get carried away manifests as ridiculously overdoing something like gift shopping, cooking attempts, or planning a trip (and still overlooking things he should've foreseen - so it's a good thing problem solving is a team effort).

- Sasha and gay!Martin bonding platonically in a polypile, finding it's a relief to be able to talk to each other without the particular kinds of pressure that come with their romantic relationships with Jon and Tim, to the extent that the ship feels all the more like found family for each of them thanks to the other's inclusion.

DNWs: - Completely mundane AUs. - Other noncanonical ships coming up (besides mentions of oc previous partners). - Self-hate over asexuality as an orientation. (Worries about compatibility are fine, so long as heavy acephobia isn't involved; if Jon doesn't blame his orientation any more than he blames anyone else's. Any shade of ace is ok.) - Character death within the ship. (I've had my fill of 'the others mourn Sasha' for now.) - Anyone in the ship going unrepentantly evil as a full monster. - Apocalypse - Noncon within the ship. (If you want to include an element of hurt/comfort over any of them having previously suffered bad things outside of this ship, then feel free.) - PWP - Waterworks/scat.

Request 8 by Rozzlynn Martin Blackwood/The Vast (Fic) Summary Okay, so Martin canonically: - is claustrophobic - had many bad times besieged in buildings and lost in tunnels and corridors - wrote poetry about wandering the countryside like a cloud - is bitter about never having had the chance to travel - is a bit conflict avoidant, and ended up feeling so trapped by a terrible situation that he found some relief in isolating himself (didn't miss the shouting, couldn't bring himself to want to deal with his problems anymore), even while he was suicidally depressed over it all.

What if the Vast got ahold of him? Prompts for various bits of a possible timeline:

- In s3, Martin insists on accompanying Jon on his research trip abroad, to help with the work and to look after him. (Nobody can deny that Jon needs looking after, by that point, and Martin is his assistant.) They have an encounter with the Vast in a plane, or on the road through China or America's wide open spaces. Though they survive, Martin's infected in a way that builds over time, like with Melanie and the Slaughter.

- When they're back in London with the plan for the Unknowing organised, Martin persuades Jon to use the Archives budget for a corporate team building day in the countryside, to try to address the interpersonal issues between the staff. The event goes a bit strange.

- After the Unknowing and the Flesh attack, when Martin stops expecting Jon to wake up and says goodbye, maybe he nopes out and flees into the Vast, aware that it's been stalking at his heels? (Intending to lose himself there forever, not become an avatar who hurts others.) - Maybe, months later, he runs into Simon Fairchild while falling through the sky, and hears news about the Institute. When he hears that Jon's awake, that he's still got something tethering him to the world, he drops out of the Vast. - In his absence, Peter made a deal with Basira? (She already thought she couldn't trust anyone but herself. Peter figured she was lonely enough, and had to find the Extinction research to convince her to work with him.)

- Or Martin still makes the deal during Jon's coma, but Peter adapts his approach, sensing the Vast's influence. Either he thinks it'll help draw Martin to the idea of seeing everything via the panopticon, or he worries it'll put him off staying underground there, no matter how unlimited his vision may be as a result. So he either encourages Martin to isolate himself in a Vast-aligned way (research trips out in desolate places, with enough Institute paperwork to avoid withdrawal), or tries to train it out of him (confining him to the building, trying to instill agoraphobia). - At the office, Martin opens the windows even in awful weather, works on the rooftop on his phone or tablet, gets distracted by the sky, etc.

- Things reach a crisis point one way or another, and Jon follows Martin into his space within the Vast. (With different avatars having different powers, and several places falling within each entity, like Forsaken having the graveyard, ocean, beach, suburbs, etc... Maybe Martin's Vast niche is a cloudy sky far above a beautiful green landscape that never gets any closer, evoking an overwhelming mixture of grief and relief that everything below is out of reach; beautiful from a distance, but closing the distance would be too painful to consider.) Jon still tries to talk him out of it, unwilling to leave without him. Either they both leave, or neither of them do? - If Peter doesn't manage to send Martin to the Lonely & tempt Jon in after him, Jonah gets frustrated over the bet being useless. (Mike Crew's already covered the Vast, why couldn't Peter do his job properly??)

DNWs - Peter/Martin, Simon/Martin. In general, Martin being genuinely ok with anyone he knows is an unreformed mass murderer. (If the prompts give you a whump idea that leans on assault by one of them as an extra factor in his depression, making the Vast a relative sanctuary of gentle fear, then go ahead with the noncon, but don't go out of your way to include it otherwise.) - Jonah ships. - Martin knowingly & willingly killing a victim. (Fighting another avatar in self defence would be ok. The Vast maliciously messing with his perceptions and reflexes so he's not actually sure what he's done while badly dissociated could work, if a plotbunny needs something like that.) - Martin or Jon dying more unambiguously than being Vast-stranded indefinitely (as the upper limit for a worst case scenario). - PWP. (Though that seems unlikely here, as any smut between Martin and an entity would need a plot to establish even what and how. And honestly, I can't say I'm keen to read about Martin jerking off in midair. So, uh, don't reach for explicit content unless you've got a plotbunny that involves it in an emotional arc?) - Heavy internalised acephobia. - Waterworks/scat.

[psicomma-s-very-secret-lab]

First night at the Asylum

This has been in my inbox (the old lab's inbox orz) for a looooong time and it's not even the oldest question LOL. I postponed my answer bc I wanted to incorporate some art here and I haven't had the chance to draw Shaun and Lo together in ages but man I feel like answering this after all this time cause their story is important even though it's been eclipsed by the story between Shaun and Ani ;__; (Girl look what a mess you've made smh)

Shaun and Loan's story is gross I'll tell you right away. If you want something cute or even remotely decent and healthy, better go on your way.

That question would actually require me to review all Asphyxia and Asphyxia Unplugged from A to Z, so I guess I'll only cover the encouter, from Loan's perspective here. Trigger warnings : violence, sex, drugs, French, and obscenely long post.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Loan is 18 when he meets Shaun for the first time. He recently left the family home to move to the big city. After a few weeks in university he realises he has absolutely no interest in pursuing an academic career and drops his literary studies. He begins to live at night and makes a few acquaintances; Madame Charlie, a drag queen and a retired sex worker owning a pub in Camden town quickly takes Loan under her wing and the Ace of Hearts becomes Loan's rehearsal place for him and his newly formed band, Asphyxia. Loan also finds a part time job as an apprentice tattoo artist thanks to his connections ; it amuses him for a while, less boring than uni but he doesn't take it very seriously either. Loan has a brief affair in the end of the year with a guy called Adrian, the only contact he kept from university. Adrian had a brand new kind of stress reliever he would use before his finals, and he generously offered to share some with Loan one night after an okay fuck. That's when Loan takes his first bite in the poison apple. 

It was just a few puffs but the feeling heroin gave him was so amazing it got Loan coming back for more, and more and even more. His growing lust for the substance probably scared Adrian away cause the guy stopped answering Loan's calls eventually. That's when he thought it'd be a good idea to get wasted and drag his skinny ass up to the North of London in the middle of the night to get some by himself. 

He was walking down your typical film noir stinky dark alley when two guys approached him and started to molest him. Loan never knew what sobriety and subtlety meant so he would always go outside dressed like a glam punk whore and it never failed to get him into trouble of course.

Loan fought back quite honourably, he even managed to give a nice black eye to one of his aggressors thanks to his armour ring. But he eventually ended up being kicked to the ground, curling himself up like a louse. He heard the loud barking of a big dog and the beating suddenly stopped. A voice coming from afar shouted across the alley "Aren't ya fucktards supposed to be working?" – Silence. The dog growled.- "'The hell are you lookin at? Get the fuck out of here." They left in a hurry, their tail between their legs. Loan heard the ferocious barks again when the two guys ran away, then he heard the panting breathing of the dog and its claws on the pavement ; it was coming near him. Loan opened an eye and despite his blurry vision he could distinguish the big, drooling face of an adult rottweiler being busy sniffing his jacket.

« Aika. » The dog immediately left Loan alone, going back to its owner’s side. He could see a long shadow stretching on the ground. He was only a few feet away, slowly getting closer.

Loan was still shuddering on the pavement when he saw a hand reaching out to him. His brain was too dizzy from the beating and the alcohol he didn't hesitate one sec before grabbing that hand. He was freezing and that hand was oddly warm. Loan stumbled as he got back on his feet. "Hey, easy there." Then he spat out some blood before finally looking at his accidental saviour. 

And there he was. Shaun Myers. If only Loan had known all the trouble this man would bring upon him he would probably have run away like the devil was chasing him the second he met those eyes. He first noticed his height ; being 6'3'' and always wearing big combat boots Loan wasn't used to have to look up to meet the eyes of whoever he was talking to. 

Shaun shamelessly rose Loan's chin with his hand, wiping some blood off with his thumb, suddenly noticing Loan's pretty features. The dog was staying still, only its tail wriggling slowly.

"You. You're definitely not a whore." He said scrutinizing Lo's bruised face. Loan said nothing. 

"And you're far from home, aren't ya?"

"Kinda." 

"What brings you here?" 

"I don't know. What do you think brings people here?"

The dog didn’t seem very convinced by Loan’s answer and snarled, baring its teeth.

« Aika… » Its owner said, in a low but firm tone. The dog calmed down, sat reluctantly at Shaun’s feet, still visibly suspicious about Loan.

Shaun smiled, amused by Loan’s wit and his dog’s animosity towards him, then he lit up cigarette and Loan was instantly struck by Shaun's bicoloured gaze. Every single detail about his face set his insides on fire. But it only lasted for half a second- when the lighter swallowed back the flame the image got lost into Loan's numb mind and quickly faded into oblivion. 

"Follow me."

Loan followed Shaun for what seemed like an eternity. The streets were poorly lit but he felt like everyone was looking at them -the hobos, the hookers, the creeps at their windows-  it was like everyone was staring at his open lip and smudged makeup. Little did he know that people weren't staring at him because of his looks, but because of the tall dark stranger beside him walking with a huge rottweiler on the loose.

They arrived near what seemed to be an abandoned facility - probably used to be a school a few decades ago- some walls were partly demolished and the area was surrounded by Portakabins covered with graffitis that the builders must've been using by the time they were working on the site but now they were mostly squats for hobos and junkies. Shaun led him to a wobbly spiral service staircase and Loan almost fell a couple times trying to get down. "Watch your step" they ended up in a narrow alley - a smell of puke and liquor in the dry cold air - Shaun locked the staircase behind them as Loan started to hear some noise coming from nearby ; indistinct people chatting, dull basses, other big dogs barking... 

« You wait here. »

He whistled and left with the dog. Loan noticed the animal was strangely calm and didn’t respond when it heard the other dogs barking from afar. Shaun came back five minutes later, without his beast beside him.

"This way."

He led him to the opposite direction the noises were coming from, to what seemed like a fire door. Shaun pushed it and suddenly Loan was overwhelmed by the harsh neon lights and the infernal hubbub saturating the air of what oddly resembled a hospital corridor. "You're gonna stay here or what? Move your ass." The high pitched, crass laughter of a girl almost broke one of Loan's eardrums as Shaun got him into another staircase. Dirty walls covered with obscene caricatures, tags, spray paint, a guy with his hands inside the panties of the girl he was making out with at the third flight of stairs...

They must've been two floors underground when Shaun stopped in front of one of the doors with a red "Keep out" sign on it. While he was searching for  the right  key inside of his hoodie, Loan lost himself contemplating the graffitis. He noticed a used condom sticked to the tread of his boot. "Putain fait chier. Merde." Then a few 'clicks' and the door opened. Shaun held it open for him as Loan got inside. Never in his entire life had he heard basses so fucking loud. He could barely see in front of him. The atmosphere reeked of sex and marijuana. He could glimpse some sweaty naked bodies kissed by the electric blue neons lights as the DJ was blasting the beat even louder. For a second he lost sight of Shaun and bumped into an obscenely obese guy making him spill some of his drink "I'll cut you motherfucker!" Loan felt a hand grabbing his shoulder and taking him away before the guy could do anything "Better not get lost, Alice, we're already late."

"Late for what? What the fuck is this place??" 

"That's the Asylum babe, the only safe place for someone like you."

Loan was probably too wasted to understand that the Asylum was the actual name of this underground Babylon and he would learn later that Shaun wasn't exactly the type to make jokes anyway. 

Crossing the dancefloor of the Asylum was like swimming into the dark waters of the Phlegethon. A long time ago that place used to be an olympic swimming pool, the echo and even the tiles on the walls were still here- but now it was just a gaping black hole swarming with the broken souls of the fallen ones. 

As they arrived near the bar some girl, visibly quite drunk, made her way to Shaun and lasciviously wrapped her arms around his neck, Loan barely saw her murmuring a word to his ear before Shaun pushed her away with a rare violence. She fell on a  guy who was sitting at the bar, spilling all the drinks and breaking some of the glasses. Her head hit the counter as she fell down, her ankles twisted in what must've been an awfully painful position. Loan stared at her unconscious body in shock - Shaun didn't even flinch when he brushed her off and started to make his way upstairs, without even looking back. "You coming or what?" It was only now that Loan actually considered whether he should really follow that guy or not. He looked at that girl - he could read the words she was muttering on her lips "help me... One hit... Just one fucking hit..." as a some blood was running down her forehead.

Loan shook his head and climbed up the stairs. Some fucking stairs again. Everyone was staring at him, was staring at Shaun, but Loan was honestly too busy staring at Shaun's ass through his Levi's to notice any of that. 

Five minutes later this whole freak show seemed like a distant dream; the room where Shaun had taken Loan was quiet, so quiet it was hard to believe it was actually located in the same building. But here it was ; low ceiling, dim lighting, nothing on the walls where the yellowish white paint was partly bloated because of past inundations, no windows, just one queen size bed with messy sheets, a coffee table with an ashtray filled with cigarettes butts, a door half opened on what seemed to be a bathroom, and one big wardrobe facing the bed. 

"Make yourself at home." 

He sat on the bed as Shaun took off his jacket, beanie and hoodie, tossing them on the chair by the coffee table. Loan was ogling at each of his movements with impunity ; he was way too fucked up to give a damn about decorum. 

"I'll be back in a minute."

Less than a minute later Shaun was back into the room, opening his big hand under Loan's nose. A tiny freezer bag, containing a tiny amount of what could've easily been mistaken for flour or icing sugar.

"Your poison, Snow White."

Loan took the bag, observed it in the light of the bedside lamp as if he had any fucking clue about what he was doing. 

"That's 80£."

"80£??"

Shaun sighed "Jesus, you first timers are the worst. If you don't have the money I'm taking that back, also do I need to mention the house doesn't take credit cards nor cheques?"

"Fine." Loan glared at him shoving the bills into that greedy hand. Shaun hastily put the money inside his jeans' back pocket.

"Now do you wanna fuck?"

"Excuse me?"

"I said do you wanna fuck, like me and you."

"I-I'm not a whore."

"I know, that's why I'm asking you nicely."

Where the fuck was that guy coming from? Loan stared back at Shaun dead in the eye and saw he was serious. He tilted his head, pouted.

"Depends on what you have to offer."

In the blink of an eye Shaun pounced on him like a beast on its prey and before he knew it Loan was nailed to the bed, his face buried in the pillow. He could feel Shaun's hand pressing on his neck with a terrifying strength and he knew he could just snap it at any moment if he liked. He felt all his bulk lunging at his frail body as he leaned forward, until he was close enough so that Loan could feel the warmth of his breath against his ear.

"Just let me get this clear ; I don't have anything to offer. I'm gonna use you. I'm gonna take everything I want from you like it's my fucking birthday. And you're gonna love it even if in the end, you'll regret it, cause that's how it goes. You're probably gonna cry but it won't stop me. I'm not gonna give you my number, I'm not gonna give you a ride home, I'm not even gonna give you my name. Now if you're okay with that say yes." 

"Y-yes. Please." Loan panted. 

"Great." He said thoughtlessly before roughly pulling down Loan's jeans. 

______________________________________________________________________________________________

If you read this then it means you have vanquished this monster post, YAY! Here's a cookie to help you recover from that exhausting and traumatizing experience : 🍪

And ofc, special thanks to @ramblingpolkadots for the question! 😁 it was probably not the answer you expected but hey, it was fun to write this at least

#ocs #asphyxia #loan #shaun #the asylum #first encounter #ask #ask answers #i actually wrote this a long time ago #but didn't publish it bc i needed to update it #cause aika wasn't present in the original version #and it would've been a shame not to mention that good boy

[kyndaris]

How Long is Eighty Days - Part One

I first met her just as first semester began. Palms sweating, I glanced around the lecture hall. We had just been instructed to introduce ourselves to the people next to us. From what I could see, most had classmates they knew from high school. I, on the other hand, had been the only person in my grade to throw my lot into this particular course. No familiar faces loomed out at me. And all the others were already deep in conversation.

That was when she turned towards me with a beatific smile on her face. Her hazel eyes were filled with a mix of kindness and warmth as she took me in. Had it not been the very first day and the very first subject for the under, with the weight of scrutiny heavy on my shoulders, I might have offered an articulate response. Instead, a strange gurgling had my cheeks aflame when I realised that it had come from my throat. There went my first impression. I waited for her to turn away and condemn me as the ‘strange one’ with a look of bemusement, but she surprised me by offering a sympathetic ear.

“I’ve often been told that I take the words right out of someone’s mouth,” she whispered conspiratorially. “The first day is always the worst, isn’t it? Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone if you don’t.”

A nervous smile touched my lips. “You don’t seem all that intimidated.”

She grinned. “I’ll have you know that I’ve always been good at power. But the truth of the matter is that I’d much rather be back home instead of facing this gauntlet of lectures and tutorials. Meeting new people is always a frightening experience.”

“Jamie,” I said, sticking out my hand.

She eyed it for a good half second before giving it a proper shake. “My parents have always been old fashioned. It’s a little embarrassing, come to think of it, but you can call me Cassie. Although my full name is Cassandra.”

“Glad to make your acquaintance. Cassandra.”

“Now you’re just making fun of me,” she accused, though humour laced the words.

Before we could delve further into conversation, the lecturer was quick to catch our attention and the lesson resumed. I don’t quite remember much of that first hour for Sociology and Anthropology. Although I was quick to take notes, my mind remained focused on the feel of Cassie’s hand in mine and the sweet citrusy perfume she wore.

The next time I saw her, I had just taken shelter underneath the glass overhang of the beloved central business school as the autumnal rains pelted down. Like the intelligent creature I was, I had decided to wait until the middle of the week to purchase all the necessary textbooks – believing the lines would be shorter.

Cassie was with a group of what I assumed were her old classmates. The way they exchanged banter reminded me of all those movies where the popular girl was surrounded by simpering sycophants. And yet, I envied each and every one of them as they laughed at one of Cassie’s jokes or gossiped about the things they had gleaned from the first week. It was irrational. But by the time she and her posse had disappeared from view, I was on the verge of turning green. Books in hand, I stepped out from my hiding spot with nary an umbrella and allowed myself to be drenched as I trudged towards the bus stop.

Needless to say, several days later I was sick in bed and trying to make sense of the words printed on the water damaged page. It was a miracle that it had not already turned into pulp during the deluge.

That would be the last time I ever forgot to bring something to stave off the inclement weather.

 --

How long is eighty days? Break it down into hours and you get one thousand nine hundred and twenty. Minutes-wise, there’s a whopping total of one hundred nineteen thousand two hundred. In those burgeoning and fleeting moments of romance, each and every single of those precious minutes felt like a millennium that passed in the blink of an eye. At least, that’s how I saw the following twelve weeks as Cassie and I slowly became more comfortable in each other’s company.

Often, I found myself counting down the seconds until I would see her in the lecture we shared. Afterwards, we would head out to the library lawn, going over the readings for class. When the fancy struck her, she would convince me into skipping my next class and we would head to the nearby beach. Despite the fact that winter was fast encroaching, we would still see tourists flocking to the golden sands.

“Did you see that?” I would ask, pointing to one of the hapless families trying to take a selfie as they were battered by high winds. “You can tell which ones are from the mainland. They’re not typically dressed for a day out in the sun. Umbrellas, long sleeves – those are your hints that they’ve not been here long.”

In those too-brief moments, we flirted and teased. For me, they were the highlights of each week and I savoured the time I could spend with Cassie. And when she slowly but surely introduced me to her circle of friends, I learned quickly to adapt. Some were friendly, eager to see a new face. Others could have done well with a lesson in manners.

And as exams loomed ever closer, we would occasionally go out to the Roundhouse or the heart of the city, drinking and clubbing into the early hours. It was a different experience.  The idea of grinding away and hoping to catch the eye of someone who might be interested left a bad taste in my mouth, but by the time the deadlines were knocking on the door, I took to them like a fish to water.

Of course, my grades slid a bit but I was quick study when it came to revising. It isn’t a simple brag to say that I aced most of my classes. That is, everything except for Sociology and Anthropology. Suffice it to say, I managed to scrape by with a passing mark but my overall standing took a significant hit. Cassie, on the other hand, fared much better. But she had a talent for constructing essays with surprising depth that seemed to elude me. When the marks came in, she was in the top ten percent of the class.

Thus, semester break began. And with it, the school holidays.

It was the perfect time to learn about each other’s habit beyond the confines of university. We would organise dates to the local cinema and perhaps follow it up with a karaoke session. Sometimes we would go as a group with a mixture of her friends and mine. Other times, it would just be the two of us. Those were the moments I cherished. Being alone with Cassie and talking about anything that came to mind.

I swiftly learned that though she had enrolled into a humanities degree, her heart longed for the sciences. Cassie was someone that was not afraid of getting her hands dirty. Coding and circuits and trying to figure out how the world worked. Those were the topics that interested her. But when she had expressed her desire to pursue a degree in engineering, her parents had been adamant. They had quashed any and all dreams before they even had the opportunity to take flight. Cassie bristled as she recounted how her father had sat her down in the living room and told her explicitly that her career path was set in stone. It was expected that she take over the accounting for their family-run business. And with her older sister absconding overseas, it was she that was expected to carry on the legacy.

Yet despite her frustrations, Cassie was quick to shut down any encouragement from me. She would offer me a rueful grin and shake her head. “Thanks Jamie but it really doesn’t matter what I do at uni. There’re always online courses and I’ve found that it’s actually quite fun trying to figure out all these things by myself. I mean, it can be difficult to understand why something has gone wrong but that’s why we have Google, right?”

But all of our alone time quickly came to an end in July. I can’t rightly say that my mother was negligent but she often relied on me to take care of Derrick, particularly on the days when he did not have any actual tutoring. Younger than me by four years, he stood a good twenty centimetres taller. I hated that. Having seen him swaddled in diapers (and even helped change a few) it simply seemed unfair that Derrick was all but looming over me in Year 10. I tried, once, to see if I might be able to break his kneecaps when the first signs of a growth spurt were underway but dad put a stopper to those plans.

Actually, that was a lie. And it goes to show what a poor taste I have in jokes. Derrick, the loyal brother, would find the humour in it but often my sense of funny has a tendency to put off most upstanding citizens. But Cassie had one just as black as my own. Or, at the very least, she was appreciative of the sarcasm.  

Derrick and I, though, we’re close. Perhaps the four year age gap worked in our favour. What fights we did have were short-lived. Mostly because he had a face that everyone could love. And we often bantered in the privacy of our shared study room. That, of course, didn’t mean I wanted him around when I was with Cassie.

After our first ‘date’ with him playing the third wheel, Derrick was quick to pounce upon me for more details. “She seems nice.”

“What?” I asked, looking up from my bowl of noodles.

“Cassandra. I like her. Not as much as that other girl who could draw those henna tattoos, of course. What happened to her by the way?”

“She moved interstate,” I said. “I suppose being up in the Sunshine State is better than settling for physiotherapy. Alice was always ambitious and well, I was never one to put myself out there. The distance didn’t help much either.”

“That’s a shame,” said Derrick as he worked on his maths problems. Finally he set aside pencil and scientific calculator and stretched. Pushing aside his workbook, he finally asked the one question I had been dreading for days on end. “But come on Jamie, when are you going to make it Facebook official? I’ve seen the way you look at Cassandra and she seems interested as well.”

Despite the fact that he had lost most of his baby fat and there was an inkling of facial hair, Derrick still managed to look like a lost puppy. His pleading brown eyes begged for an answer and though my heart could be as cold as ice, it could not resist the pull.

A resigned sigh escaped my lips. I had wrangled with the question for so long that I had pushed it to the back of my mind. Did it really matter whether or not we took the next step? But what if she only saw our relationship as merely platonic? For several weeks I had been caught in a pit of paralysis and unable to climb my way out of it. The idea of placing my heart on the line and waiting for it to be crushed was not something I could idly do. And yet, what if Cassie felt the same?

“This is Houston and we have a problem. Contact with Jamie has been lost. I repeat: contact with Jamie Zhang has been lost. Hello? Is there anyone still there?” Derrick always knew the best way to break my train of thought. I tossed a mean glare his way as he merely shrugged. “If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine.”

“I do. It’s just…I’m scared. What if Cassie sees me as just a friend?”

Derrick slung an arm around my shoulder. “Chin up, Jamie. There’s plenty of other fish in the sea if the worst happens. But you know what mum keeps saying about opportunities. You’ll miss all the ones you don’t take. So go out there!”

It was cheesy and clichéd. But Derrick always knew what to say. For a fifteen year old going through puberty, he could be surprisingly worldly even if he was still a tad obsessed with shonen anime that included the likes of Attack on Titan and One-Punch Man, often playacting scenes in our backyard. I suppose it is true: no-one is perfect.

 --

Heeding the advice from my brother, I asked Cassie out to talk on the day just before uni was to resume. She was eager to watch the latest winter blockbusters that had hit the silver screens. Once the movie was over, we strolled down through the bustling city streets, avoiding the main road. Years had gone by but the light rail was still under construction. Rumour had it that it would go on for ten or more years, diverting traffic from the centre of town. Finally, we found ourselves in the Botanic Gardens, overlooking the harbour.

It was not how I imagined where the confession would be, but surrounded by all the different species of flora that were still flourishing despite the chill helped push me over the edge.

Taking a deep breath, I turned towards Cassie. “I like you,” I said. Terror and a small spark of hope warred in my chest. This was now or never. Do or die. I had made myself vulnerable and now my nerves were all jumbled together as I waited patiently for her reply.

“I like you too,” she replied but it was clear that my words had her puzzled. “What brought this on, Jamie? Did you think I was going to leave after all the things we did last semester? Don’t forget, we actually have a lecture and a tutorial together.”

It was enough to confirm the feelings I had. Whether it was madness that gripped me or something else, I could not be quite sure. Yet, despite all the barriers I had put up to stop myself from giving into my base impulses, I leaned forward and captured her lips with mine.

#short story

[theangry-ace]

I care more about the girl in R18 drama cd; another short reviews

God I’ve gone through so many titles and it’s hard to find a series with a good balance of good story, good boys and good ecchi, but unfortunately most are not.

It's not that there's a lack of good ones though. there are quite a lot of them actually. but just that the MCs in most titles are just too... unnaturally passive ALL THE TIME! would it not sell if they made MC more strong-willed and actually would stand her ground and not let herself being pushed around and bullied? I want a title where the MC actually kick some ass. literally or metaphorically, I don't mind, just give me an ass kicking scene!!!! give me a girl who will not put up with the bullshit!

anyhow, here’s the third batch of my reviews. the first and second are here if you’re insterested. I spoil a lot so read with caution.

I found most of these from Airavalky.

Love tranquilizer story: 5/5 icha icha; 5/5 this is bias bc this was my first R18 drama cd. made me notice of sawa manaka. also where I realized finger sucking is my thing lol. I believe this series is still ongoing and has a one or two more other characters but these are all that I’ve gone through. the concept is 'tranquilizing' relationship. each one of them started as casual relationship with no commitment, but later progressed to be something much more. Takemiya Yuki = osanajimi character. he sounds like a insensitive jerk but he actually cared too much about the girl. his story is that he gained a lot of attention in high school due to his basketball and girl decided to keep a distance from him to avoid jealous fans. dude didn’t like it at all but he played along until he just kinda begged her to chose him over trying to pretend they don't have anything to do with one another. second season he had to move away bc of uni and their issue there is adapting with long distance relationship for the first time, and they're struggling to make it work. Houbai Kazuhide = a more matured character from work. he is the one with the finger sucking thing hehehe. they started very neutral relationship but after a drunken one night stand, they thought they'd be sexfriends to "relieve one another's stress". after a while dude gets an omiai and wanted to end the relationship, only later to realize his feelings for the girl is real. second volume for his story is quite realistic couple's problems I enjoyed it so fucking much 10/10 will go back to this just for the drama. Matsuzawa Tasuku (Sawa Manaka) = this was my actual first R18 drama cd so it left quite an impression on me haha. I thought I’d prefer 'manly' voice but actually I like this youthful/playful voice much better. guy is kinda an up and coming celebrity and the girl is his manager. I think at first they're just sexfriends but one time had sex with no condom and thought if girl got pregnant she would have to quit her job and he don't want that so he decided they should be a real couple instead... I think. he speaks too fast for me to understand completely. I’ll get back to this once my Japanese is a bit better.

Madoromi no alice story: 1/5 icha icha: 5/5 don't be fooled by the pretty cover art. not much story in this except a girl sex dream with many versions of her boyfriend, with alice in wonderland as theme. the tokutens are quite intense with the sex though. if you don't know sumeragi mikado, this would be a good place to start... or bad place to start if too much ecchi is not your thing. I’d suggest Kindan Jouji, the host volume instead.

Mikkare story: 4/5 icha icha: 4/5 quite good and sweet story, though the sex takes place in very inconvenient of all places. like, in the fucking elevator????? in a storeroom???? ...but I think I need more from this series. why is there no more of this series? pls tell me there's actually more from this series.

My butler story: 3/5 icha icha: uhhhhh / 5 review: it started out good but kinda made me cringe halfway, especially Cider's. it's kinda creepy like I know the MC is supposed to be a projection of you but the 'grooming'/teaching scene is too... pedophilic-ish to me I couldn't bring myself to listen to the end.

Otona no marchen story: 2/5 icha icha: 3/5 review: interesting concept of the fairy tale but not too complex; just taking the fairytale and put the sex in them. a bit too simple but good nonetheless. I like the peter pan one bc of the lol. the cinderella one is what you called a yandere? i feel so bad for the girl i wish there was another tokuten where she actually escaped from the prince or prince gets less of a possessive asshole.

Otona kareshi story; 4/5 icha icha; intense AF /5 review; sumeragi mikado doing yandere/controlling bf is very scary sometimes but he did it very convincingly. the White side is on the ~gentler~ side compared to the Black. sex scene has variety, uhh, acts? like there's paizuri and mentions of urinating and it's not something i found that in many titles  mentioning those yet so... that's something!

Otona tomodachi story; 4/5 (blue side only) icha icha; 4/5 (blue side only) review: this series has two ways how the guy would react, but both started out pretty much the same; they're sexfriends. Blue side, Chasuke's character will try to convince the girl not to go through the omiai and they would be a proper lovers instead. the Black side takes a darker turn I think (yandere route?) but since I don't want to ruin my image of chasuke, so I'm gonna put off from listening to them until my kokoro is ready. not anytime soon at least.

Relacion dulce story; 5/5 icha icha; 5/5 review; this is a very good series that focused on alcohol and icha icha that don't go problematic so this is stress free. vol.1 = this one has a ashikoki scene and the guy makes a very cute do-M chara. vol.2 = younger guy type. he just turned 20 (legal to drink) and they enjoyed a night drinking and sexing. vol.3 (yotsuya cider) = dude is a vet (I think) and when drunk he got loud and bitch about owls lol this one is unique since they talk about getting married and having babies. I don't think I've come across any that seriously talked about this yet so it left a big impression on me. (the only other series that talked abt the same thing is Karepilo's 10th volume (with Hirai tatsuya) where he said he want two kids and want to be the cool dad who can participate in school's sport event ugh that is the cutest god damn thing I ever heard fuck u hirai pls do more.)

Reversible story; 3 /5 icha icha: 5 / 5 review: the idea is its giving you two choices to how the ecchi scene goes; either the guy takes the lead or the girl. my fav is one with domon atsushi bc his oresama character is a real selfish asshole so having the side where his girl handcuffed him to the bed and decided to leave him is very amusing I clapped for the girl lol 10/10 would repeat many times over just to laugh at him hahaha. the iyashi(healing) bf side is very accurately titled.

Rouge et noir story; 5/5 icha icha: drugged and intense /5 review: story's really fucking good and suspenseful. icha icha is intense, understandably it was supposed to be induced by drug. I've only heard of two volumes (kawamura masato & sawa manaka as CV) but there’s also a third and fourth I think. basically girl is a rookie cop and she's one of them to take down a dangerous drug ring. why a rookie for this type of mission, though? I think the whole series focused on one girl but the stories they don't cross with one another. ugh I really really want to buy the whole seriessssss this is the exact amount of thrilling drama and icha icha that I wanttttt

Shinsoku ren'ai story: rape / 5 icha icha; rape / 5 review: rape. the kind where the sex will eventually ~magically~ made the girl fall in love with the rapist and somehow that's okay?? even for a porn??? case 1 (sawa manaka) = he started out fine but he grew increasingly possessive and jealous. he relocate girl's office to next to him, made her move in with him, all without the girl's say. he confined her in his home too. I think this is the least offensive of the three volumes since it ended with the dude stopped doing all that shit to her. well, kinda. case 2 - oh god this is too much rape I get nightmares. girl is the private tutor to the student guy. guy confessed one day but she refused. what comes next is traumatizing so only proceed if you know what to expect. case 3 (sumeragi mikado) - guy is the younger brother to the girl but he forced her to have sex with him, or he would go to her friends instead? I... I can't do this kind of shit. esp when girl eventually just accepts his 'love' in the end. why is this the theme for sexually abused victims??? can't just one of them gets their justice??? pleaseee

Shitsuji no prince-sama story: 3/5 icha icha: 4/5 review: I think it's pretty decent bc I really do like characters using keigo, but this is not very, uhh, satisfying? since they're kinda short. are they from a visual novel or something? not that they're not good; they’re great and I love the CVs here. the butlers will mention they have something to do with another career but my Japanese can't catch exactly why they had to be butlers as well. all I can get is that the girl had to stay in the mansion for two months for some reason.

Souai-sei no eshisu story; 3/5 icha icha: 3/5 review: look, I do not, for the life of me, will ever understand that someone would risk having their loved ones doubt, made them cry, argue or misunderstand that leads to a complete break of their cherished relationship, for the sake of keeping a secret of a fucking BIRTHDAY SURPRISE! JUST TELL THEM YOU ARE PLANNING A SURPRISE DON'T LEAVE THEM ALONE FEEDING THE DEMON WITH THEIR TRUST ON YOU! DO YOU WANT TO BREAK UP OVER A FUCKING BIRTHDAY SURPRISE?! anyway. this is sawa manaka though. not his best works IMO but this might just be me.

Suki ni natte wa ikenai kare story: 3/5 icha icha; 3/5 review; the theme is cheating. guy already has a gf and girl a bf. there's two ways their story would end, 'good ending' as in they break off with their then partners and date one another instead, or 'bad end' as in they sexed for the last time and swear to never see each other again. for this kind of theme I don't mind much, but not something I prefer. I may be aro but I know how much it hurts when ppl decided they would rather lie to you rather than come upfront and being honest.

#drama cd #drama cd reviews