#I think it’s gonna weirdly work out

[lizstiel]

saw someone upset about the finale, specifically the fact that ed and stede stayed in the house with izzy’s grave “right on their doorstep”, and they read that as disrespectful. I mean everyone is entitled to read it the way they want to, of course, but I actually found that quite beautiful?

izzy’s final speech was about how he fed that toxicity/enabled blackbeard even though he knew ed had outgrown it, and this season especially has shown izzy coming to terms with that “saw you throw away your leathers / maybe follow that feeling” and to stede “you’re good for him” etc. etc. bc the truth is that izzy SAW ed, he spent years with him, and he knew it was time for ed to move on.

I really think staying in the cabin where they buried him was like, a very touching gesture. instead of burying him on some random patch of land and sailing off to be pirates, they chose to build something where they left him, build on his memory and what he told ed to do at the end. they didn’t leave him behind, they let their crew move on to their next chapter while they started their own. idk I found it very beautiful.

#not me meta’ing about ofmd #ofmd spoilers #and not even mention djenkins repeatedly bringing up the buttons is a witch #and the seagull landing on the cross like #I think it’s gonna weirdly work out #but idk man #idk I really really liked it lol #felt a little rushed but it felt like the right choice #I also just #I like letting creators tell their stories and trust that process instead of like #whatever the fuck I had going on with spn for 15 years

[andpierres]

manu pics for the shaker charms that i received the other day!! they look sooooo good and should be In My Hands very soon :3

#yes i know the fob one is weirdly small I do not know how the measurements got borked for thst one but WE'RE GONNA WORK WITH IT #i think it still looks great so #fall out boy #mcr #my chrmical romance #danger days #fob #wip #art #ids in alt

[front-facing-pokemon]

#another bonus under the cut where i got up under their big head to get 'em a little closer and a little more front-facing #aggron #aggron is just cool. a big metal bitch who *could* hug you but is probably actually just gonna obliterate you. is that anything #i think i prefer lairon more. it's kinda just a little metal creature and i think that's awesome but aggron stands up #and normally i'm a big big fan of when pokémon stand up. when everyone wanted sprigatito to not stand up i was like #please stand up. because i am a furry and i knew it was gonna become favorite pokémon material if it did. and it did and meowscarada is #wonderful and i love it and it's one of my top like 10 of all time. but aggron is like. i dunno. a little too gruff for me #i think aron and lairon are cute and i'm generally a fan of and user of cute pokémon but aggron is very. how you say. aggressive #and also… ron… aggressive ron. new show on netflix i just reinvented aggretsuko but for pokémon #also weirdly every furry on the face of the earth likes aggretsuko but for one i've never had a netflix account and for two i just #don't ever watch shows. it's just not something that works in my brain. having to get them‚ and then just taking the time to sit down and do #it just never does anything for me. the last show i watched was because i was over at a friend's house and he was like hey. we're watching #this show now. i want you to see this show. and it's a show that folks generally lamented for a lot of reasons so i was like iii dunno about #that one! but he was like no trust me it's fine. and then i was like. kinda uninterested at first but it turned out to be really good #and i'm still ashamed. that i liked it as much as i did. so i will not say what it is. it's not supernatural. it's a short-ish show #but like it was good and i didn't expect it to be. which has nothing to do with aggretsuko OR with aggron for that matter #literally idk. look it's distraction (AGGRON DISTRACTION)

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#im still procrastinating so bear with me #ive just been thinking abt something. like the idea of a support system #bc as a 1st year grad student ppl around me r like: it must be hard being away from ur support system or ive left my support system when i #moved halfway across the country. and like i dont really feel that way bc idk the idea of a support system is sorta odd to me #like for me i guess it would just b my parents who i kno love me but im just so weirdly asocial that i never really talk to them #like i hardly ever text them. we talk maybe every couple months. so like i guess i theoretically have support but its a bit abstract #and like i have friends i guess but again im a bit weird and dont really feel connected to ppl so i dont feel that close to anyone #surface level friendships i guess. i dunno. i just feel weird not not having a support system but also having it b hollow #i guess i cant feel it more now. like i feel like getting diagnosed as bip0lar made my problems seem more realized to my parents #like i dunno i just assumed they knew i was doing awful most of the time but maybe that wasn't the case #its such a weird thing to b diagnosed with. like the conotations feel a lot heavier and i feel like im not supposed to talk abt it to ppl #bc theyll think im unreliable or something. like it wouldnt b that big a deal if i was just depressed but the sometimes buring out of my #skin makes me somehow scarier. and i still feel conflicted bc i do have a bip0lar mood profile but i have very very high impulse control #and even when im going high my mind is still super rational about it. which seems weird bc low impulse control is common with #the diagnosis. its also y i dont fit an 4dhd profile. not that it really matters. i fit the criteria enough to be on the bip0lar spectrum #its not like someone's gonna come yell at me for not being bip0lar enough. i just feel odd about it is all #still feels fake i guess. hard to imagine feeling any different to how i feel now. which is weirdly stable. so i guess the meds r working #sigh... ok enough i need to go to sleep at 7pm so i can get up at like 2 to finish reading a paper. for some reason my god forsaken brain #works better in the early morning rip #unrelated

[jutsuuu]

girl help I’m experiencing

#weird addendum but pls don’t reblog my vent posts??? why would you even want to???? #everything has been So Much lately and I wasn’t gonna vent but then I remembered this is my blog and I can do what I want #one of my best friends left the country last week and he’ll be gone for like two years and I’m so sad without him around #I mean he’s been messaging me every day since he left but it’s still hard not having him here yknow? #and I’m moving into his place but it requires a lot of work before I can so I’m always exhausted #and my joints have all but given out on me completely so I’m always covered in KT tape and braces #which doesn’t gel very well with moving furniture and heavy boxes #and I have no money so I need to be job searching but I can’t do that until I move. BUT I NEED MONEY TO MOVE #on top of that my grandpa died and there’s so much family drama involving that it’s unreal #and weirdly the thing I’ve recently felt bad about is I’ve been neglecting my self imposed Fandom Duties #maybe not fandom specifically but like. creative duties #I want to write fic. I want to draw. I want to read and comment on other people’s stuff #I also really want to do more of my non fandom writing because I want to get something published this year. but i got no good idea aaack #or early next year #and I’ve just had like. no time at all to do any of it and the time I have had I’ve been too drained to do it #ughghghghghghggh #I think today I will drink and try to write something. as a treat. #after I go on a reblog spree to bury this because emotions are very embarrassing #anyway how are you?

[bonetrousledbones]

anyway. i think i am going to order a pizza from my favorite pizza place. i think i deserve it today

#im gonna try to stop doomposting now outside of like. reblogs on my main or something #because weirdly i think the less that i externalize my current thoughts the easier it'll be to get my brain to chill the fuck out #but honestly i've been planning to order that pizza since like noon. this is just a good excuse if anything #other than that they have free delivery today for some reason #if its good enough i'll work on more ebony stuff. dont need to rush quite as much now. so i guess i can do more ideas #it'll at least calm me down enough to think more rationally. it's been really fun to work on. that son of a bitch #i'll figure out what to do with it when i'm done idk. pizza time not think time

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

anyway so im rewriting the specials to get yaz in there right and you kinda need her out of the way for wild blue yonder so im keeping her in the tardis to do the manual part of the repairs i guess but just the idea of yaz being There but Just out of sight but very much like,,,,Present, as an agent in the story, while this interaction happens:

which is then Immediately followed by the tardis with her inside Disappearing, just lends a whole lot of fuckin,,,,,,,depth of flavour that you really dont even need to do anything for

#the hardest part of this is figuring out the donna&yaz dynamic for me #i cant write donna ive never written donna #i feel like donna would be sooort of approaching yaz like she approached martha back in s4 #but i dont think yaz would be as receptive to that as martha #bc yaz. is. in much the same state as the doctor is. in terms of trauma and running on fumes and lets just keep running and not talking #except that she /didnt/ just regenerate to become weirdly honest about her affections #she still loyal devoted 'shes fine shes fine' never told anyone running from home just said goodbye to one of her best friends #And also to maybe her first real romantic love who Died But Didnt #dealing with all of that as quietly as shes dealt with alll the rest of it up till now #thrown into this situation where she knows no one and the doctor knows everyone and everyone knows the doctor but she knows no one not even #this doctor #all that just to say. i dont think she'd be very friendly with donna #polite. mostly. probably. but also having lots of feelings #that are gonna be...........difficult..........i think for all three of them to deal with #bc donna doesnt know what shes dealing with in terms of doctor/yaz #maybe she assumes a friend. or else a rose or a martha situation. bUT. yaz is none of those #yaz isnt making hearteyes or Yearning In Secret at this point yaz is grieving and also i think trying to figure out her place #shes more of a river situation. not really. comparison doesnt entirely work. but like. river in the library. vaguely #more that than the secret crush thing that it was #and the doctor knows Exactly whats going on with yaz but yknow. Busy. and they havent really had a moment alone to talk abt it #if theyre gonna talk abt it #and donna is pushing the doctor in their familiar dynamic and yaz is just sort of...........squished between that #trying to stand her ground while not even really knowing where or what that ground even IS #anyway so. tldr. Complicated #complicated dyanmic and complicated to balance so i dont sacrifice any of the doctor&donna stuff #which might happen a little anywaybc i have a clear yaz bias but im trying to mitigate it as much as i can

[iishmael]

ok im back to hating everything. My prof really did NOT do a good job this semester I feel completely unprepared and… I’m aware that what I’m trying to do is so much more complex than what we covered in class but normally I don’t have problems to scale things up like this but I think I severely underestimated the complexity of what I’m trying to model. Lol. god I’m so scared bc a huge part of my research hinges on me figuring this out and I have NO ONE I can ask bc no one works with QGIS on this scale so help me fucking g-d lmaoooo 😭

#I’ll be alright I’ll be ok #I’m just venting #I do know people who work with it but they’re acquaintances and it’ll be weird if I ask for help out of the blue #I WILL ask them but not for this assignment cos it’s due on Wednesday 😂 #it’s just a little trial run so I’m ok bc I think I have enough data for that #I’m just gonna do some raster analysis tmrrw bc I’m good at that #and then hopefully he won’t notice that I have no fucking clue how to interpret the spatial lag model lololol #I just don’t fucking understand what my output is tbh #like. 😭 too many variables and they’re so weirdly spatially distributed but I don’t understand where that comes from bc #they should be clustered bc I RECORDED them as clusters myself #is it bc the stupid model doesn’t understand that there’s 5 clusters? and it treats it like they are one giant cluster? #I don’t know! and neither does the fucking internet apparently! 😂 #UAGGHHHH ok time to go to bed #shut up Sam

[yoohyeontual]

My body went numb a little and I’m stressed, cause I hope everything is not coming back and I’m afraid to go to sleep (cause you know I’ll feel it more since I’m not distract and I will panic) but I have to wake up in 2 hours for Puppy’s pills so I have to so sleep now 😭

#I hate being home alone that’s why I can’t leave my parents house even my dad would prefer I did (not seriously) jdidnjd #I weirdly don’t feel tired I think it’s cause I took a mini nap #even if I don’t actually sleep if I take a nap it’s like I slept 10 hours idk why #my body should allow me to have nap more often #I feel like I’m gonna panic and at 4am i still won’t be asleep so Pups gonna have his pills a little earlier #it’s suppose to be at 5 cause that’s the time my dad go to work during the week so we have a schedule #but on weekend if we wake up at 4am (or still awake in my case) we give it or sometime my parents préférer to wake up at 6am and give it #I don’t cause if the sun is up I can’t go back to sleep easily 5 is good #the pills are every 8 hours so it’s okay if there’s an hours less / more in between #that’s a think that stress me out when I’ll start working it’s 5am-1pm-9pm so what’s going to happen at 1pm if no one’s home 😭 #my mom do have a fix work schedule now so we could do 7-3-11 instead since my dad is home 4pm max #but my mom old job had a schedule all over the place it would have been messy unless I would have one fix myself #anyway going to sleep and I hope my body is just tired of being in the same 2 position most of the day #at least my eye dosen’t hurt anymore there’s that ! #goodnight ! #alex.txt

[orcelito]

Aw fuck I just remembered everything that happened at work today

I better get a DAMNNNN good raise after all this lmao

#speculation nation #the fact that my raise is impending and is not currently defined may be affecting my willingness to help out extra #so yes i agreed to work an extra hour and a half today #and yes i scrambled to make 35 drinks in 15 mins bc manager forgot a catering order #and Yes i agreed to work a double shift and take over doing boba on another day so we can fire the problem employee #which Oh Yeah im still mindboggled by the fact that she was apparently being RACIST to international student customers!!!!!! #she didnt do that around ME. probably bc she wouldnt have gotten away with it lmao #not racist in the way of calling ppl slurs or anything but just. being really bitchy and unfriendly #and complaining about ppl's accents making them hard to understand. To The Customer. #& after this came to light one of our nonwhite employees admitted that it felt like this girl was weirdly unfriendly to her #& me n the manager felt So Bad for it #like we've been thinking about firing this girl. had already decided on it. but we were just waiting for a good time. #but this shit is just. not acceptable. so im glad it's come to light so we can Do something about it. #tomorrow will be interesting. im going to hear about it secondhand bc no way im going in Even to watch things unfold. #bc i have tomorrow off ❤️ and im gonna try to spend it relaxing #bc my next few days are... not gonna be the most relaxing lmao #it'll be worth it to get her out of here tho. good riddance.

[gothprentiss]

hi just an update from my trying to pay attention 2 cinematography cm rewatch. i'm on retaliation which i think is largely kind of cool-- like following the car accident you have this pretty intensive half-pov stuff with prentiss which is inconsistent but pretty cool insofar as you're getting a clear sense of her experience (fractured and phasing in the immediate aftermath of the crash, extremely jerky handheld cam work) as well as what she's seeing (the pov shots of her shooting (ha) have always stuck out in my mind as really interesting moments in cm cinematog). the close-up & extreme close-up shots of her also really work to situate this sense of subjectivity; so when we cut in to specific details or get these full & wide shots of some of the action, we get the sense of what she's focusing on.

on the other hand though this strikes me as like, kind of... short-sighted? poorly conceived? like, as the episode goes on we'll get to see these moments revisited in the cognitive interview. and we've all had our yuks about how criminal minds treats cognitive interviews like magic, the scenes basically work like tv representations of regression hypnosis but without any formalized therapeutic element, etc. the idea is, more or less, that behind the actual memory there's this near-perfect sense memory that can be excavated with the care* and technique** the bau agents wield.

[*slowly and gently asking questions. **asking the witness to close their eyes before asking questions.]

the problem is that, as the episode has it, we've seen the memory already. this hypersubjective pov stuff is insisting we're experiencing the crash and its aftermath as prentiss does, or at least, the way she's experiencing it is being visually and aurally translated for us. the way it's shot is jumpy, it moves almost by caesura: everything we don't see, or hear incorrectly, or see fading in and out we should understand to be similarly perceived by prentiss. some of the effects of this are really cool: for example, when we cut in to prentiss' bloody hand straining for the gun, it gives us a really clear sense of exertion-- all of her focus is on this act, just as ours is. this should entail that what we're not seeing is just passing her by in her state of distress. the cognitive interview shouldn't be able to revise the way this memory is, as this scene suggests, encoded. [like, yeah, okay, it's a bad theory of memory and physical/psychological trauma (shock, concussion), whatever, it's a crime procedural not a scholarly work on the philosophy of mind.] there's also that scene in the hospital where morgan and prentiss are arguing: she says the memory will never be fresher, hit me with that cognitive interview; he says she's in shock and concussed and has no capacity for recall. since the cognitive works, at least to some extent, the idea is that time enables recall: well past the traumatic event, visuals sharpen, that material encoded in your memory becomes clearer, etc. you might say that there's a clearly filmed version hiding behind the juddery & jumping scene we see at the outset of the event.

i guess i see this making sense insofar as the episode is insisting that the storage/input capacity of memory relative to immediate subjective experience is something like 3:1, so when we get to the cognitive interview we get to see the whole thing widen out and become clearer + more focused, including details we (& thus prentiss) didn't see in the moment-- like it does work with the quasi-magical way that the show depicts cognitive interviews. but like, with the exception of how close the shots are, there's little connection being drawn between the memory we're seeing during the cognitive and the memory we saw in the initial scene. the cognitive interview isn't meaningfully doing any work here-- prentiss doesn't even have her eyes closed, she's just... suddenly transported. the episode is trying very hard to be about perspective and memory, thematizing it in pretty much every way it can, but this weird distance between the experience and the memory means that there's nothing being actually said or explored about the process of recall that it's enabling. it's not even a really impactful set piece for the episode. idk. it's just annoying to watch an episode which is really clearly intended to explore the big funny device they use a lot (i.e. the cognitive interview) and then.... it just doesn't. lol

#ik this is baby brained lol sometimes i just need to type shit out to figure out how i think it works. #i'm a total idiot about cinematography or really anything about video media i do always welcome correction fwiw #the ep is also weirdly shot (a lot of high artifice camera as eye in really kind of neat but extremely annoying to watch ways) #and weirdly edited. so there's that #cmposting #if ur gonna do camera as eye then i feel like u should have to commit to it fully. be for real about perspective #if it escapes the camera it should also escape the eye and if it doesn't then u should be more interesting about it #prentissposting

[cutemeat]

when Dennis and Dee’s maid from the early 80′s Josefina comes into the bar to find Frank n its revealed that ‘Franquito’ IS actually Frank’s biological son... what then??

#nooo Paddys Succession Plan TWO like come onn #again im tellin ya... Frank falls ill n so the gang are splitting up dealing w this #like again Charlie/Dee are back n forth abt WHO is gonna get Frank's shares when he dies (cuz they automatically assume it'll be them ofc.. #two entitled ppl whats new) #n uh.. they both get Fake Married despite absolutely hating each other (n dee being a fuckin lesbian) in the midst of their scheme #(feat. Waitress but thats a whole other thing ok-) #cuz yknow when the gang is just going all in no ones thinking no ones on the brakes #MEANWHILE to the total Opposite tone.. Dennis n Mac are both genuinely torn up abt Frank. n like. its weirdly emotional/tender #n does result in macden get together #but ALL THIS TIME it turns out Franquito has been the only person actually going to visit Frank in the hospital #bc that is where he and his mother work #n FRANK ENDS UP GIVING ALL HIS MONEY TO FRANQUITO N HIS MOTHER #this is it. this is the Paddys Succession plan allright #we kno rcg love Succession so this is it this is the tme #i can see it #i lov when 1 AM hits n im just like. time to throw out random Sunny pitches #this still fits in w my whole Misses the Boat 2 as well..

[katealot]

.

#where my girlies with that seasonal depression at #how am I doing? i’m so glad you asked #currently conducting an experiment by living in a warm climate area (texas) during the fall+winter for the first time in 5 years #since before i understood i have s.a.d. #and trying to figure out how my fucked up brain chemistry feels in a place where it doesn’t freeze (the devil’s creation: cold weather) #my observations so far: the s.a.d. has definitely already started to set in. it came early this year weirdly #BUT…. the slow succumbing to the numbness within me is being met with an unprecedented wave of self-love and understanding #its WEIRD #i can FEEL the loneliness. I can TELL it’s happening. #but everytime my brian thinks ‘so whats the point if we’re all just alone in the end’ #it is almost instantly countered with: what’s the point? take a look around. there is beauty and love in everything the light touches #so that’s how it’s going #if you read this far for sympathy for your sadness then I have this to say to you: i know it seems like this won’t pass… #im here to tell you it will and it does and it has… #time is not linear. all of your experiences are happening at once. & right now? u’re basking in the sun on a picnic blanket 3 years from now #peace and love #I’m gonna go to work now lol

[hecksupremechips]

I love to imagine Rebecca as trans like it just has become so ingrained in my mind it feels weird it’s not canon. She realized at a young age and her parents were supportive and let her present how she wanted and they used her name and pronouns, but they weren’t around enough to go the extra mile for her and make sure she was being protected. She was the target of some pretty bad bullying at school, both from the students and the staff, and Ashton was the first person to defend her. Ashton is cishet (cuz I think it’s funny) and hes kinda ignorant at first but he tries his best and he just likes Rebecca and wants good things for her and he’s so emo he scares away the bullies lol. And this was definitely a big part in Rebecca gaining feelings for him he just showed her this special kinda care that no one else ever did, and it’s what makes her extra insecure as the years go by. Cuz she wonders if maybe the reason Ashton never seems to reciprocate her feelings is because she’s trans and he just never thought to see her as romance material as a result. Which is a line of thinking that gets out of control really bad and she never gets to have the closure she wants with it either

She tells Isabella that’s shes trans just cuz they’re best friends and it sorta comes up eventually. Isabella was a tomboy growing up so she can definitely relate to the bullying shit pretty well and they are very protective of each other and vow to beat up anyone who talks shit about the other. They also just open each other’s minds a bit, Isabella helps Rebecca feel more comfortable in knowing there’s many different ways to be a woman, Rebecca helps Isabella maybe explore her feelings about her own gender and whether or not she’s really attached to womanhood. Zach finds out in a more casual way, it’s just something he learns cuz it felt weird that he was the only one who didn’t know and well. He’s a good guy, he wouldn’t mind. It’s not something the two of them ever talk about really, aside from bonding over a few shared experiences with having to deal with assholes. And really, being trans just isn’t something Rebecca wants to talk about too much, just because she’s gotten to a point where’s she’s experienced being stealth and she knows how quickly people can turn on you when they know, and she understandably doesn’t wanna deal with that shit. But because her friends are so supportive, she doesn’t exhale and let herself just exist naturally around them and it does help her feel less insecure about who she is

Sexuality wise I think she’s "straight" I think she’s spent most of her life looking at Ashton and just assuming she’d be with a man but once she finally gets to give up on him she has Moments with Isabella or like a certain fondness for Marianne and their shared love of history and other nerd shit and shes just like. Uh Oh 😟

#the letter #rebecca gales #my beloved my bestie my wife etc #ive also just written like in a scenario where she gets with luke shes gonna like get that dick and then shes like oh fuckkkkk #and its pretty frightening cuz luke is a notorious asshole but hes about to find out so she just lets it out #and hes weirdly chill hes just like ‘hnnnghh does it look like i fucking care about that right now daisy’ #they uh. arent exactly a match made in heaven alkskf the way i write it like they are genuinely good for each other in a lot of ways #like i think they both can just help the other see important sides to themselves and improve #but i dont see them being like this happy long term couple i think rebecca can do soooo much better i think theyd get together when shes at #rock bottom and feels like no one will ever love her and she forms a bond with luke and she relates to him in a weird way #and this makes her feel worse like luke is the only one who sees the real her and she wants him because shes afraid hes the only one whod #tolerate her its just a very unhealthy situation and he has enough good in him to keep her on the hook #but enough bad in him to never satisfy what she needs and to make her feel like shit #its like. i dont think its IMPOSSIBLE for luke to be a good partner to her but hed have to do a LOTTT of changing that im just not confident #hed do plus like i mean hes literally a murderer and all of rebeccas friends hate him i dont think shed really be able to see past that #plus like hed be transphobic like maybe he isnt opposed to having sex with a trans woman in the moment but he certainly wouldnt be an ally #its all about whats convenient for him i think at best hed be like ‘youre one of the good ones!’ #i kinda love lukebecca lol not in a ‘theyre cute’ way ew just in a. ‘their interactions are really funny and interesting’ kinda way #i want them to fuck nasty and i want rebecca to almost sink to his level but then rise above and kick his ass #and i want rebecca to be the one who got away for luke like losing her is the biggest wake up call of his life #and then rebecca lives her best life with her awesome friends and they work on communicating properly #and she realizes she doesnt need a man to complete her and then she writes a book and is loved pleaseeee

[florida3exclamationpoints]

.

#im still looking for a job #i got offered an interview for one but they were weirdly pushy about how soon they wanted to do the interview #and their part time pay is 13/hr and part time hours is under 30/week #which is kinda ridiculous to me. the ad said 15/hr but thats apparently just for full time but i dont like that full time starts at 30 #anyway. there were just a few things off about it and i didn't feel like i had time to prepare #and i am cautious of companies being super desperate to hire #so i pretty much decided i wasn't gonna do it #and i told my mom #and she was like well 13/hr is better than nothing #and i said yeah but im trying to make real adult money. im trying to move out within a year. i can't do that on 13/hr #and she went well maybe im crazy that im happy with my 15/hr job #and im like. literally thats what im asking for is 15/hr. also. my father works too her job is not supporting the family or even herself #and she thinks im dramatic about how hard and expensive it is to get a house #i think shes stuck in the 90s. bc shes only bought a house once and it was in the 90s. #and it was under 100k #we live in a very expensive area and i realized a while ago that its just not possible for me to move out on my own around here #which she thinks is dramatic #and even still like. my goal is to move somewhere else (cheaper) and live rent free with my friends for a bit first #but i still need the money to get there and get my stuff there and be able to pay for my phone and car and everything #it's a lot!! and i dont wanna get myself in a bad situation just bc i want some amount of money #i said id rather find out later that i was being pessimistic than be naive now and screw myself #bc thats what she thinks it is she thinks im just too negative about it #well. i think shes extremely naive about it. #its frustrating #bc now im worrying i made the wrong choice about the interview (and i know doing an interview doesn't mean i would get or take the job but. #still. its was super rushed and i dont think id take it anyway. i just got bad vibes.) #but now im all worried about it and im like omg im never gonna find a job ever at all

[rubys-domain]

so i watched this team building guide that had the premise of "make 'bad' characters good." and this is kind of a weird flex, but i'm pleased to report that i already employ literally every tip in the video pretty much on a daily basis

#⇢₊˚⊹ 🩷∥ruby∥yo，ide yo !! #i have so much experience making teams revolving around non-meta units #being a chongyun main'll do that to ya i suppose #i think team building is one of the things about genshin that i find the most fun #which is surprising to me because i went into genshin assuming that i wouldn't give two shits about the combat #and in some ways i still kinda don't. or at least i don't care as much as “true” combat players #but idk. there's just something about figuring out how the game works #and then using that knowledge to figure out how to buff my off-meta dps to holy hell #and testing this team comp that doesn't quite work as intended #and then this team comp that does kinda work but slightly to the left to see if that makes it better #and then just the journey of getting higher and higher crits as i come up with new ideas for team comps #that i find so goddamn satisfying #also part of it is coming up with stranger and stranger teams and builds—sometimes even entire playstyles #—that would cause people's faces to visibly distort when they see it #like my on-field hyperbloom driver hydro chongyun idea. most people would probably be like WHYYYYYYYYY #and my answer to that is BECAUSE I CAN #that's part of why i continue to love chongyun so much #he doesn't have a place in the meta whatsoever. so whatever i do with him is gonna be suboptimal no matter what #which weirdly enough gives me the freedom to do whatever the fuck i want #tbf i could do that with other dps's too. i don't HAVE to play lyney as a mono pyro carry. i don't HAVE to play cyno as a hyperbloom driver #those are definitely their strongest teams. but by no means the only ones you could run. hell，you don't even have to run nilou as- #- a bloom support if that playstyle's not for you，her passives be damned. #but idk. i think it's because they have at least ONE team that's widely considered to be strong. it almost feels codified in a way #whereas chong is one of those units where everyone would tell you to just not bother with using #cuz there are units that can do everything he does better. and the one thing exclusive to him isn't enough to land him a place in the meta #they're also not my faves of all time. that's just chong. so by default i have less motivation to do creative things with them #i do still like them don't get me wrong. but like. for me，as long as they do what i pulled them for well，then i'm satisfied #side note，but i honestly never thought that i would mainly use mono element teams in the late game. cuz on paper they sound kinda boring #like why would you /not/ do reactions in the reactions go brrr game. but with lyney it came prepackaged #and with chong，it seems like the best team for him to be an on-field normal attacker