#I was too tired to do this yesterday after school but gosh I was spiritually with the turt bros last hot girl Fridays | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wannawrite · 5 years

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better better 💛 🐻 🍯

너의 그 사랑만이 멈춰있던 날 다시 뛰게 해.

[ Only your love could make the me who was stuck run again. ]

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day6 masterlist

TW: if you squint, there's very mild mentions of child abuse, physical and verbal

↪ group: DAY6

↪ member: Yoon Dowoon

↪ genre: idk its not really fluff either, (IM SORRY ANON IT GETS VERY FLUFFY AT THE END) but its 90 percent angst free LOL ??? this story is too out of the ordinary to categorise lol ☀️

↪ request: hey admin n! can i have a fluffy day6 dowoon scenario where he cheers you up from a bad day in school? thank you!

↪ A/N: I really wanted to write something for Dowoon, thank you so much, anon who requested this!! I somehow thought of the spiritual love I receive everyday from God (I'm christian to all of y'all who dk, haha) so I think this story will hold a special place in my heart!!! also, the story plot is largely inspired by the story by 九把刀 - 等一个人咖啡，so if u understand Chinese please give it a read, its a nice story uwuwuwuuwwu

edit i am SO SORRY THIS WAS WAY LONGER THAN IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE the word count will probably be like idk 8000 by the time i finished this when u requested for a scenario lolz i got way too invested I apologise...I wrote almost everyday for a whole week I regret getting carried away oh my gosh, but I hope you enjoy this, I really worked very hard on this!!!

ps im sorry if jihyo is ooc, never written nor know twice well but id say I'm a fan of their music hehe

______________________________________

It was about 7AM in the morning when all of your batch gathered around at the assembly place in your school, and between occasional yawns that slipped off your mouth (thanks, end of year exams), you and your friends were talking about the happenings of yesterday as you walked there, laughter often breaking out in your little group when there were bits of humour in the story.

You all made your way down the stairs and into the assembly grounds, resembling a large, aquamarine blue quilt that took up an obnoxious part of the school-where the netball competitions and other important events were held.

Seemingly following suit with the shade of blue on the ground, the lack of sun in the morning painted everything with a small hint of lighter, sky blue itself, such that it all looked like one entity but distinctive in its own individual colours.

Realising this with your own dark ringed, half opened eyes, you couldn't help but feel the ends of your lips angle up slowly-the world was so beautiful, you couldn't help but think as you knelt down to sit onto the rugged surface of the big, enveloping area-whoever had created it for all its small but still amazing features was exceptionally genius.

As your eyes scattered around the place, still immersed in a world of your own-a shrill screech of a whistle pulled you back to the boredom of school life, and with a slight, but petty annoyance you shifted your back to face the PE teacher who had just walked over, and subsequently, so did the other students around you.

He stood in front of your whole batch, clad in a black, torso hugging sports shirt and fluorescent pink shorts-which immediately, triggered a few giggles for your batch, but the spoilsport of a whistle just had to ruin the fun again, motioning for everyone else to shut up.

You sighed when you saw the creases in his forehead, and the unmistakeable hint of a frown on his tan, oval face-this was not going to be too good of a day.

You just hoped that he wasn't going to make all of you do 4 rounds around the school today. Running, needlessly to say really was not something a person like you liked to do-sweat all over your face, springing pimples on your face, grasping for breath and literally collapsing in front of the whole class like a dead fish because of how energy deprived you were? You were going to pass, thanks.

"Now, class!" his low baritone rasped out to the class, carrying a strong sense of dominance in it like he was speaking to a platoon in the army, "We have a group of alumni today, coming back to visit and help all of you train for your Physical Education Examinations next year." At that, his outstretched wrists flicked backwards loosely, gesturing for the alumni to come, and he continued again, "They are alumni that were our top students from last year, and did exceptionally well. They have all took time out of their 4 month break after examinations to train all of you, so please be nice, and don't be so unruly."

As soon as he had said that, the class started breaking out into applause as the five students stepped into everyone's field of vision.

Your eyes widened when you saw the bones, standing out like rocks in the their toned, fit arm and leg muscles-even the girls' thighs that was supposedly, the most unattractive part of everyone's body had 'walls' lining their lean, hourglass figure. Confident smiles were plastered to most of their faces, with a few tired exceptions-heck, one even had a smirk playing on their face as he scanned the class below him.

Inwardly, as you heard the laughs of the alumni that had aroused from the awing of their juniors below them, you couldn't help but shudder inside-there was no, freaking way that you were going to look like that after training with them.

You didn't want to, anyway-that meant rigorous hours of training and stitches 'basking' under the unhelpful, boiling cover of the sun.

Just then, as you were contemplating the choices of schools you were going to transfer to to abstain from the torture that was soon to come, the guy with the playful smirk on his face had already grabbed a microphone, and was preparing to speak. Translucent frames for glasses hid his small, almost demure but yet somehow condescending eyes-you weren't getting that great of a vibe from him.

"Hello, Class 3D9, I am your senior, Park Jaehyung, and I'm here to train all of you for the exams, since all of you don't seem that excited for it, judging by your expressions." His features softened considerably from a look of mirth to one of gaiety as he started to speak in a 'half air half voice' kind of way-rasping yet not quite, and you rolled your eyes.

It wasn't really that you disliked him much, but you could already picture him being the heartthrob of the girls in class-the gleam in their previously irritant, but now smitten eyes was so undeniably revolting.

They all nodded furiously at the last sentence, and he began to laugh a bit (attracting more squeals from the girls, much to your dismay) before speaking again, this time with the narrow of an eyebrow and a more serious, raised voice. "I know all of you might be thinking that this is very pointless, and stupid. I know. None of you really want to be an athlete in the future, and I understand. But I really hope all of you can treat this seriously, because health in the long run is really very important, and I want all of you to take not only the PE finals but the entrance exam to college confidently, and healthily. Are all of you with me?"

Like how any motivational speaker would have done, there was an applied pressure at the last line, and soon, a long, unenthusiastic 'yes' drawled out of everyone's barely parted mouth.

You snickered a bit at the frown on Jaehyung's face when he heard it-he really should have known beforehand, that encouraging a class didn't consist of just one pathetic speech, and you started to doubt if he had really been from this school.

Let's face it, motivation really wasn't this generation's thing.

"Are all of you with me!" he rasped again, this time yelling into the microphone obnoxiously and poking a hole in your eardrums.

"YES!" the class shouted with increased volume to appease him.

Just please, don't shout into the microphone again, you whimpered inwardly.

At this, Jaehyung looked more or less satisfied (thank God), and with the small hint of a smile, he passed over the microphone to another guy, whose eyes first caught your own. They were delicately angled into the eyes of a fox, emanating a half elegant aura that still seemed to hint 'Let's have fun, everyone!' They fell into small crescents when he started to laugh at Jaehyung's incapabilities to lead the class, and the circles in his lean, rosy cheek bones spelt attractiveness at its finest.

With a sweet smile on his face, he held up the microphone to his mouth and started to talk. "Morning, class! Sorry if Jaehyung sounds like a bit of a drag. I know he has that student leader aura, but you can't blame him, he's always been burying his face in a book during recess-HEY!" The class, including him, started to erupt into waves of giggles when Jaehyung flicked his forehead, a faux anger playing on his arched eyebrows and widened, now not so small eyes. "FINE, fine, I'll stop! Anyway, hello Class 3D9, this is your cooler senior, Kang Younghyun, and I hope to train all of you to success in the exams. Thank you!" Younghyun proceeded to bow with the shy lift of his eyebrows, and everyone clapped.

"His real name is actually Brian, please ignore him." Jaehyung added in with a wink, earning a loud slap on the shoulder from Younghyun (with a subsequent yelp from himself) and more laughter from the juniors, yourself included. Your seniors seemed pretty chill and friendly, not like how you thought they would be.

But sadly, as they were supposedly goofing around too much, the PE teacher blew that stupid, ear-wrenching whistle of his, causing you to jump up in shock again. "Okay boys, lets finish this up quickly." he said curtly, strict gaze fleeting past the two boys and causing their playful charm to melt like ice in front of him.

As Jaehyung and Younghyun simultaneously did a long, 90 degree bow, mouthing 'sorry' repeatedly, you and quite a good majority of your other classmates sighed, inwardly feeling a tad deflated-looks like the rest of the introduction wasn't going to be that fun after all.

The introduction seemed to move past like rusted cogs, at least for just one part of it-the first girl who had greeted all of you sported two round, neat buns at the sides of her hair, complimenting her big, double lidded eyes and her elegantly curved, brightly smiling lips. The corners of her eyes bore a small fragment of the brighter sky above her, gleaming with confidence as she bowed politely, introducing herself to everyone in a more reserved way than the other two. Her name was Park Jihyo, and she had been in dance-which was quite a great feat, since dance was a niche co-curricular activity in your school, but not surprising at the same time, looking at her beautiful figure and slender, well toned arms.

As she talked, she slipped a few jokes there and then mid-conversation, not too much that the PE teacher had to cut in, but attempting to keep the class' attention on her afloat. Jihyo had an unmistakeable pleasant aura that seemed to infect everyone with her laugh, and from the bottom of your heart, you really wanted to befriend her-someone approachable and easy to talk to.

There was another girl next to her who was called Chaewon, with demure, yet youthful brown eyes and a serene smile. Similarly, she too was very friendly and talked with a very laid-back tone-but the problem was, that she talked a lot.

You didn't really mind it much when people talked a lot, but when they overdid it, it got kind of...boring.

Seemingly one hour later, your eyes struggled to remain parted mid-sentence as she went into a trite monologue about how grateful she was to stand here. By the time she was done you felt fatigue wrap around your head like a snake, till a deeper voice was suddenly amplified into the mic.

"H-Hello, I'm Yoon Dowoon, and-"

"I ate ants as a kindergartener." Jaehyung's unmistakeable airy voice cut in annoyingly, causing Dowoon's face to flush a big, rosy red whilst all of you chortled with a louder, more extreme laughter than before-and instantly, you became alive again as the mental image of a small boy swallowing the poor insect with the brightest smile sent you rolling onto the floor.

"He even gave a whole box to his teacher." came a rather unhelpful snicker from Younghyun, further fuelling the laughter and the blush on Dowoon's face.

You couldn't help but admit, that he was sort of cute when he was embarrassed, though-Dowoon had the small, but believing eyes of a child, with two pretty, but not 'big enough that it protruded' kind of bags attached below them delicately. The gentle up curve of the sides of his big button nose was really attractive, and he had semi-big lips that pouted out like the small petals of a daisy.

Seeing Jaehyung's joking, almost condescending smirk resurface onto his face and look down onto Dowoon's expressionless eyes, which now refused to concentrate on anywhere but the floor was maybe, just maybe-sort of sad.

Unlike Jihyo, you couldn't see even a small fragment of the sky in his eyes-it was as if someone had just painted his eyes brown and decided it would stay that way for the rest of the day.

Dowoon was too embarrassed to do anything else, and without even looking up, he passed the microphone to the PE teacher, whose nonchalant expressions didn't seem to care much either.

Inside, a pang of guilt rose up to your chest, and you unconsciously started to frown along with him as you noticed how uncomfortable his hardened features had looked, amongst all the giggles thrusting through his gentle heart.

Being known by 'the guy who ate ants as a kindergartener' to everyone, instead of who he really was mustn't have been a very nice feeling, especially to his juniors-who was supposed to look at him as a superior and a leader figure.

Just as you were debating on whether or not to ask them to stop, a scream broke out through the assembly grounds, shutting everyone up with a magic swipe of its hand.

Of course, it had to be the stupid whistle.

"Are we here to joke, or train? Get up, all of you! We're going to run today." the PE teacher's obnoxiously booming, demanding voice rang into everyone's ears unpleasantly, the catalyst to the small groans of dismay breaking out amidst the class that was already preparing to stand and walk to the field.

"Can you believe he actually did that?" your friends approached you in a fit of giggles as all of you approached the running track, with a new topic to revolve your conversation around.

Just that, this time, you didn't really want to join in.

It wasn't the best of days after all, you thought with a small hang up in the side of your chest. Out of all things, after seeing a poor boy getting bullied by his own friends, you had to do the stupid 4 rounds that all of you did practically every week.

As you braced yourself painfully for the sweating and fatigue that was to come, taking your rightful place behind the white tape attached to the floor marking the starting point- an unusually low cough brushed by your ears briefly, and instinctively, you whirled around.

You saw the big, believing eyes of a child again as you did so-it was Dowoon, and to your surprise, those eyes noticed your gaze and looked back.

Crap, he's really, very cute. you could feel your head lose some of its gravity and your heartbeat accelerating as he proceeded to smile after, the lift of his plump, daisy lips showing off his round, marshmallow-like cheeks.

"You okay?" his deep voice asked you gently, and you nodded with a small laugh, realising how much of a mess you must have looked in front of him for him to ask such a question.

"I should be the one asking you that. I'm sorry for laughing at you earlier."

With that, his smile angled further into a laugh of his own, and Dowoon replied, "It's okay. I'm used to it already."

You could already feel your forehead crease in slight disbelief, as you stared at the sheepish falter in his smile and recalled how unhappy he was earlier on.

"That's not true-"

BEEP!

The PE teacher's whistle had already gone off, and Dowoon, much to a top runner's expectations, was already speeding far ahead of you with a steady, confident pace as his brown curls bounced gently under the force of his movements.

Looking at nowhere but the front, he looked determined to finish what he had started-something you could probably only dream of having.

"What's taking you so long? Hurry up!" the PE teacher yelled at you, averting your attention away from your senior and back to your miserable plight.

You sighed with a slightly defeated energy, giving him a perfunctory nod as you too, began to move towards the finish line.

That is, if you could even make it.

As you ran, you made a mental note to never use that stupid whistle ever again.

________________________________________________

31st December, 2018.

"Se-second place in class? No way, you must have heard wrongly. Second place girls-wise, maybe..." you insisted disbelievingly, feeling the air brush against your throat as you inhaled sharply, hardly able to fathom the news that had just been broken to you.

Contrary to what your stubborn mentality refused to accept, your deskmate Sungjin just nodded again, the smile on his face laced with a small hint of amusement-he too, probably foresaw that you wouldn't believe such a thing.

"I'm serious, man. It came as a shock to everyone yesterday as well." he said, hiding a gentle, but knowing giggle in 'serious'. "You really have Dowoon to thank, look at you go."

You stared at the suggestive crease in Sungjin's big, pretty eyes, not bothering to hide the sarcasm dripping from your smile (very well knowing that someone like Sungjin was capable of playing such pranks on you).

"And where can I get more reliable information?" you demanded, refusing to tear away your gaze from his, and noticing the added pressure in 'reliable', Sungjin couldn't help but break into a more relaxed smile as he lifted his hands up in surrender.

"Fine, go see for yourself, just don't hit me, please."

He pointed a finger at the notice board, littered with numerous sheets of construction paper from all the projects your class had been assigned this year, almost like a peacock's feathers unfolding.

However, there was one paper that stood out from the rest, dull, white and boring-but maybe not so, once the truth was revealed.

In big, bold letters, it spelt:

PHYSICAL EDUCATION EXAMINATION RESULTS: CLASS 3D9.

The thought of knowing your results had thrown all thoughts of replying to Sungjin out of the window as you could hear the squeak of your shoe soles speed across the classroom towards the notice board.

Frantically, as the long table of students revealed a clearer picture of itself to you, you decided on looking at all the names from the bottom to the top-no better way to set yourself up for disappointment than to face it sooner.

It had been a while of panning up, and your squatting legs were getting tired; though knowing full well that you looked the part of an idiot while doing all this. You couldn't find your name anywhere on the board, and as your legs slowly broke its position to ascend further, the anxiety in your chest seemed to rise along with it-what if you had done so bad a job, you couldn't even get a position?

What if Dowoon had seen it and would never talk to you ever again? What would your parents say when they knew...

Just as your imagination was trailing all the way off from your real goal, the truth imprinted in cold, black ink debunked all of the scenarios in your head.

Your name was right next to the position, second place.

"So you weren't lying!" was the first thing you did as you shouted out of instinct from the opposite position of the classroom. As many other students turned their heads to you in slight frustration, you could hear Sungjin's sniggers direct back at you in response, which was yeah, albeit sort of annoying-but nothing could really smother the joy you were feeling at this moment.

Your eyes lingered for a long time onto the placing that you had gotten, and you recalled all of Dowoon's practice sessions with you-how he had drawn out almost 90% of his 4 month break just to train with you after school, how you had nearly tripped over a hurdle on the running track and causing both of you to laugh, how he had made you draw out a meal plan for him to monitor your food intake everyday-you'd never thought you'd say this, but you really, really missed it.

As you thought back to the believing eyes of a small child, looking up at the boundless sea of a sky-the clouds floating past resembling well his sweat glazed cheeks, you realised-how much you'd miss his presence that pushed forward, reaching out to the you who couldn't be bothered with most things, his care that reached out to the you who didn't care for yourself-not necessarily in a romantic way.

The thought of getting Dowoon's number had very stupidly, slipped off your mind amidst all the joy he had brought you, and your good mood was surprisingly diminished by a small tinge of guilt as you returned to your desk.

You regretted it. A lot.

"All those training sessions with her partner must have helped a lot, huh? The one who ate ants in kindergarten, I have to laugh." Suddenly, the silent, but tangible hiss of a group of girls fluttered past your ears, and without thinking, a small sense of anger blazed up in your heart as you stood up with a jolt.

How dare they say such a thing about such an amazing person.

Your chair did a loud, ugly screech against the floor as it happened, and the girls looked to you, slightly perplexed-that was, until you grabbed onto their wrists, and locked eyes with them-with a fire in your eyes that you yourself hadn't recognised.

"Don't talk about your senior like that." you deadpanned, with the motivation of anger that had backed you up well.

Just then, you noticed the arch of your eyebrows, and the anger in your movements reflected in their cowardly gazes, and for a second, you wondered-if the you that was acting like this, was really you.

"Sorry." was all they could manage awkwardly, a sheepish, yet somehow insincere smile dripping from their lips as they slipped away to their own desks-people nowadays just loved to talk about others behind their backs, and you sighed.

Only your love could make the me who was stuck in a rut run again.

_____________________________________________________________

"You got second place in the finals? Okay. Well, good for you, but I don't think you'd come to me just for that." the PE teacher slurred his words sharply, suddenly looking up at you from the bend of his glasses with a dull expression in his eyes. He seemed way more fascinated in the papers lulled over by his wrists than your dumb questions, and in all honesty, it was getting sort of annoying.

The lazy whirr of the fan spun over your head, fitting perfectly into the awkward silence between you and the teacher as you twiddled your thumbs awkwardly, trying to figure out a way to paraphrase such a stupid request-not daring to meet his steely gaze that somehow, stubbornly refused to tear away from yours.

He was right, however; the last thing you'd ever do was to go into the lion's den without an ulterior motive.

No one really dared to talk to the PE teacher about anything else besides school.

Plus, you could already imagine all the worst case scenarios if he was in a particularly bad mood today, and...let's just say that detention would potentially be the second best option.

He really wasn't the best person to talk to.

But in this case...

You looked up at the spinning blades of the fan again, and felt the swirl of cool air blow through your hair gently.

Maybe he was.

At such a comforting touch, you tried your best to ignore the pounding headache dragging you down; and with painstakingly mustered courage, you spoke.

"T-Teacher, do you have Dowoon's number? Like, the one who was our senior?"

Regret kicked in the second you had spoke of Dowoon's name, and you could literally feel your temples and limbs lose all sense of gravity as your reputation crashed to the floor. You could feel your heartbeat go into allegro, pounding onto every organ in your body as the PE teacher looked up with the most unreadable expression on his face.

Sweat emitted disgustingly from your scalp as your chest rose and fell back in waves, failing terribly to compose yourself. This is it, you dreaded your indelible fate that was to come as the PE teacher raised his eyebrows-you were barely standing up already, and you could feel your kneecaps wobble unhelpfully under the tendrils of anxiety.

I'm doomed for life, Dowoon's gonna think I'm a stalker, and-

"Hahahaha."

Laughter rolled out in the depth of that intimidating voice, like coffee spilt over a cleanly lacquered table.

You felt your eyes widen as you looked up at the teacher again, still grasping for breath as your heart refused to stop beating-after all, collapsing on the spot seemed like the best path in such an awkward situation.

Especially when he looked at you with amusement twinkling in the corners of his slit-shaped eyes.

"So, what next? You're asking, me? To help you with your half baked attempt of asking a senior out on a date?" he snarled sarcastically, getting out of his seat and approaching you. The corners of his mouth tugged at a smirk, baring his set of sharp teeth; the jaws of a wolf, that spelt warning at its finest, and in all your shock, you recoiled back.

You didn't think this was how it would end up; no, not like this.

Just then, you felt a hand arrest your wrists tightly, digging holes in your skin.

The pain from the wolf's claws amplified your vocal cords as you screamed, causing all the other teachers out there to look at you from their desks, and inside, you wanted to cry; you had never been humiliated so bad in your entire life.

"In your dreams."

Just like that, with the help of a brute force you were mercilessly thrown out of the staff room, and before you could even put a foot on the floor to stabilise yourself you heard a loud bang behind you-followed by the even more painful sound of the lock seizing the entrance of it.

You got up, slightly blank, slightly hollow, slightly lost-as you walked a bit further, heart feeling heavy with all the baggage in your chest-before the feelings got hold of your throat, and tumbled out through your eyes unashamedly.

You were way too sad to hide any further.

Pathetically, to do all you could to mask the feelings that had crept up onto you, through the not so fair play of fate; you held a wrist to your face as you sprinted back to class, with a scar zipped across it, just as it had done for your broken heart.

__________________________________________

"I'm sorry for what happened today...but I'm happy that senior was able to bring you so far." he barely managed, with his smooth, soft voice that seemed to skim lightly over the atmosphere of the café; just like the soft cream that had been drizzled meticulously over the cup of coffee on the table.

You weren't taking it, the coffee that he had made for you not too long ago. Not really that you had anything against him, no-definitely not your caring, gentle coworker, but you didn't really have the mood to drink anything as of now...You sighed briefly, dusting your apron to keep yourself preoccupied, but still not managing to let off all the steam in your body.

The incident had very admittedly, left you scarred; very literally and mentally. Leftover embarrassment was still tugging at the corners of your heart, begging to be attended to while you tried your best to shrug it off, and walked to the counter to unlock the cashier; the cheery ring of the bell above the door had struck at a rather unconventional time, and a customer was already walking in.

It wasn't very fair that they'd have to put up with your emotional baggage when they were here to get a drink, maybe even to destress and wind down for the day.

"Pil-ah, it's okay, I don't really want a drink as of now." you played it off as calmly as you could, slotting the key into the box and letting it slide open with a click. "You can drink it or something, you don't look too energised yourself."

A disappointed whine echoed back in response to your lousy excuse; there was no way Wonpil was going to believe such a stupid reply, and you could already anticipate his nagging voice as he opened his mouth.

"Heyyyyy, come on...don't be like this, I've known you for so long already. You've got to take care of yourself, even when you're sad."

The last line got you hard, and as you saw the customer's eyes widen in judgement behind her mop of ashy bangs, you couldn't help but glare back at him.

"Wonpil, I said I was okay." you deadpanned with added pressure, however, subsequently feeling guilt crawling onto your nerves after realising how mean that had sounded. His features had softened considerably, with a slightly hurt look in his big, innocent eyes, and you didn't really want to hurt anyone else when you yourself had been hurt enough.

"I'm sorry, just-I'm tired from today." you sighed helplessly, having been pushed into a corner, and being his understanding self, Wonpil nodded back with concern laced in his seemingly nonchalant smile.

After making sure everything was more or less alright, you hastily attended back to the customer, who was looking slightly frustrated with how long you were taking-and after she had ordered her iced americano, she looked a little more satisfied as she took a seat by the table nearest to the window.

It wasn't surprising; the weather today was warm. Lances of golden sunlight had dropped by the café, gracing its interior in its crisp, evening glow, and very miserably, laughing at your bad mood that contrasted with it.

"Are you okay now?"

You turned around to see Wonpil, eyebrows raised, hands rested in the pockets of his apron; and a rare, but serious look in his eyes as he prepared to listen to you.

As much as you didn't want him to worry over you, you knew how stubbornly insistent he was with getting things off your chest, so nevertheless, you opened your mouth-wondering what you had done to deserve his grace at the back of your mind.

"I-It's nothing really, it's just-" you exhaled, breaking into a nervous box smile as you ran a hand through your hair, barely having the right state of mind to continue, "I really wanted to thank him for his kindness and how he cared for my growth so selflessly, but apart from being so embarrassed by the teacher, not being able to do that anymore-it makes me feel so, so bad, knowing that I was never able to do anything for him, because I really, really miss him, and-"

"Don't say anymore. I understand."

You felt Wonpil's hand descend onto your back, like the touch of a small, but pretty little butterfly as it fluttered over the expanse of your spine, caressing it gently and hushing your shaking nerves.

All the thoughts had miserably, coaxed your feelings forward, and without knowing, you had started to cry again as you held your palms to your face-trying your best not to cry too loudly as you let out small, uncontrollable sobs.

"T-Thank you so much." you choked awkwardly, not knowing any better way to express your gratitude, and even in the darkness of your closed eyes, you could already picture Wonpil's relaxed, comforting smile playing on the sides of his face as he chuckled softly.

Just then, a cough cut in, putting a halt to your sobs and causing both of you to turn to the customer.

"Um...I'm sorry to interrupt this moment, but can I have three iced lattes? Please?" he said, carrying a half air, half voice tone-and with the guidance of your instinct your head immediately shot up from your palms.

There was only one person you knew with such a voice-the one you heard when you had first met the school alumni.

"P-Park Jaehyung?" you yelled instinctively, and your own eyes revealed the truth to you quickly-lean, rosy cheeks, big lips, small, droopy eyes, that were now widened into large circles as they stared back at you, with equally as much surprise in his gaze.

"Ohhhhh my! Y-You're the junior that trained with Dowoon a lot, right?" In his hearty voice, he exclaimed almost disbelievingly, but causing you to blush furiously; it was rather weird being so closely associated with him. "And hey, don't be rude-how dare you call a senior by their full name." he added on teasingly, and both of you laughed.

"I think I'll make the drinks for today-you definitely need to catch up with him, someone might be there waiting for you." Wonpil's voice said behind you understandingly, and you said a quick thank you with a smile before walking over to Jaehyung's seat.

"Oh, sorry for my impoliteness, Your Highness, Park Jaehyung, my queen-does this make it better now?" you retorted quickly, with a cheeky smirk on your face and triggering a gasp from him.

"Excuse me? Your audacity? Oh, and by that guy's sound, you sound like you're only here to see Dowoon, how sad-he isn't here, because I'm the most significant out of everyone there." he snickered back, laughing even harder when you stuck out your tongue back at him pettily-but to your surprise, it didn't last very long.

"Jaehyungie-hyung, don't be so mean! I'm here, hi! I haven't seen you in so long, are you doing okay?" a deep voice exclaimed, causing your jaw to drop even further, if that was even possible-and your feelings seemed to arrest all the air in your chest, just for a second-when you once again, saw the big, believing eyes of a child and his kind, untainted smile.

It was the boy that had spent countless hours under the sun, pushing you towards your goals endlessly.

It wasn't just any person, a random school alumni that had came to their transit stop for a while to leave again-it was Dowoon, Yoon Dowoon, of all people that you could have seen on that miserable day of yours.

It seemed almost intangible, yet so palpable as you ran to him, calling his name, as your hands managed to even hug his taller figure again-you could have nearly cried when you felt his bigger palm crash against your back with sincerity, and while you heard Dowoon's deep voice roll out a long string of laughter, commenting jokingly, "Man, I never knew a girl would miss me so much," you sort of wanted to smack him-yet was definitely in awe of the fact that you could hear that laughter again.

You'd never think that you would have heard it ever again.

"Shut up, I'm just here because you got me a second place position in running, loser." you giggled it off coolly, but failing terribly to hide the happiness stupidly written all over your face as Dowoon's smile angled up further, wearing his pride proudly on his sleeve as he gave you a high five.

"Really? Oh my gosh, that's so amazing! I'm so proud of my student." he laughed, childlike eyes widening in happiness and amplifying his innocence. "You deserve it man, you trained so hard for the test-definitely more commitment than I think you would have had."

"Ow, thanks a lot for the last comment, jeez, alright, I know I suck." you jutted out your lips in faux sadness, clutching your heart to your chest-but quickly remembering why you were so happy to see him again, you hastily added, "But thanks anyway, for guiding me. Couldn't have done it without you, taking so much time off your break."

There. I finally said it, you thought happily, allowing yourself a small grin when Dowoon rejected your praises quickly, hurriedly saying, "No, no, I didn't really do anything," and starting to ramble on about how you had done so much more to deserve it-his eyes got even bigger when he was in slight shock, and he looked the part of a small, innocent child more than ever.

"And oh, right." Dowoon suddenly spoke up amidst the topic of running, grabbing your attention. You couldn't help but giggle when he was about to open his mouth to speak, but instead-shut it again and started tugging the edges of his hair, mouthing things to himself with eyes squeezed together tightly-probably a long string of Jaehyung's 'motivational quotes.

A part of your heart fluttered at the purity his very being exuded-he was really, very cute.

But in all your mirth, you couldn't help it-you absolutely had to smack him.

"Yoon Dowoon, hurry up!" you snapped quickly, however with a cheeky smile that showed your real intentions. Dowoon was momentarily taken aback-but his features quickly softened after, when he realised you were joking.

"Sorry for being such a big mess, it's just..." he barely smiled softly, breaking out into further nervous laughter when Jaehyung and Younghyun started to beat his back repeatedly.

"Do you want to go out with us today? We're going to my place further out from the city, and uh...we're setting off fireworks and having a picnic around there and playing our instruments and stuff-" There was probably going to be no end to his rambling if Younghyun hadn't gave him a loud slap on his back-at this point, the creases in his eyes and sheepish box smile showed it all; he was incredibly, incredibly flustered, and to your dismay-also incredibly endearing.

But still, you couldn't miss grabbing the opportunity to tease him. You lifted your lips into a smirk, rocking your shoes against the foot of the table as you cooed, "Aww, is my senior asking me out on a date? I'd love to go with you, aww, Dowoonie..." Everyone in the place, yes, including that grumpy female customer; broke into fits of giggles, raising the atmosphere of the previously still, 'cultured' public place as you chased after Dowoon, who was currently running away from you and ducked his head to hide under the table.

"Haha, why are you genuinely scared? I was only joking, you're so adorable." you grinned cheekily as you saw the blush dancing above his round, squishy cheeks and the embarrassment in his semi opened eyes, "I'll come with you. It's quite timely as well, since I've had quite a bad day at school...You know what, I'll say later. I gotta finish my shift first, Wonpil can't possibly do everything for me." you quickly added when you saw his eyebrows widen in slight concern, and with a good-natured, outstretched wrist you helped Dowoon up from the table; who was quick to stick out his tongue when he saw that Jaehyung and Younghyun were still unable to contain the mirth written across their faces.

"So, I'll see you at 7 then?" he smiled awkwardly, trying his best to ignore them, and you nodded back eagerly as you walked him out of the shop, and into the embrace of the outdoors again.

It seemed so coincidental, that even as Jaehyung and Younghyun had simultaneously tagged along behind the two of you and out into the open, the sun was only blazing through the gaps in Dowoon's curls-girdling the ridges of his shoulders, slicing through the sides of his face and oozing into the crevices of his warm, faith-filled eyes.

You smiled.

The world was so beautiful.

"See you later! Don't miss me too much!" you yelled out to Dowoon jokingly, as he and the other boys got into the small scooters they shared-and after he had yelled back with equal gusto, "Back at you!", the three scooters sped in the other direction; hopefully, anticipating the time where they came back the other way again, because you sure were.

_____________________________

unknown: It's 7 lol have you ended your shift yet?

you: Yeah I have! Are you Dowoon or...?

unknown: No I'm Brian #sike

unknown: Please ignore that, Jaehyungie-hyung took my phone, I don't know what he's doing with his weird hashtags again TTTTTTTTT

you: HAHAHAHA TELL HIM HE SUCKS

you: It's nice to have your number though...it sucked not being able to contact you :( How did you get it anyway?

Dowoon: Yeah hhhh Wonpil told me earlier :) I didn't think you would mind...so

you: Haha of course not! Anyway, are you on the way?

Dowoon: Wouldn't dare to be late, I'm already here hehe ^^

Your head shot up with excitement, nearly screaming as you saw three headlights blaze at you, from the curtain of darkness that had shrouded the city not too long ago. It was around autumn right about now, and you were rather sensitive to the cold-so seeing their warm presence was quite comforting.

Noticing that you were already hanging up your apron and practically bouncing to the kitchen to clean up, Wonpil couldn't help but throw a good-natured laugh at you. "Someone's excited for their first date." he remarked suggestively, cleaning the used table under the illumination of the light bulb hanging above him, and if it wasn't for the distance between both of you you would have probably kicked him in response.

"Shut uuuuup, there's literally 2 other boys goiiiiing." you whined, taking one of the leftover plates scattered across the sink and soaping it,"-The chances of you and I dating just about now is probably way higher than Dowoon...well, at least, I've known you for about a year plus right now, and him, 6 months at most." Wonpil couldn't help but giggle again at the uncertainty in your voice, and pettily, you stamped your feet on the floor.

"There's no way my future partner will be someone as mean as you, I take all my words back." you pouted jokingly, and subsequently, starting to laugh at yourself too-this conversation was going absolutely nowhere.

"Hey, but in all seriousness, I think you should just go. Don't make them wait too long, after all, one of them is your future boyfriend. I'll take care of wrapping up." Wonpil spoke up again, approaching you as he hung the cloth by the arch of the sink, and took the plate from your hand kindly-gesturing for you to wash your hands as he pointed to the tap.

With unmasked gratitude you smiled back at him, washing your hands briefly before taking your phone from the counter, "Thanks again, Pil-ah; and one more freaking thing, before I have to repeat it a second time, there is no way Dowoon is going to be my boyfriend." you remarked strictly, taking your school bag from the seat close to the door and slinging it over your shoulder excitedly-the events of tonight sounded incredibly fun.

"Thank me by inviting me to your future wedding!" Wonpil screamed in his high pitched voice when you opened the door, with the silvery chime of the bell above it-and this time, you really, really wanted to kick him, because outside, in the cold of the night Jaehyung was literally having the time of his life laughing at you and nodding back to Wonpil in agreement (one of the rare times where he actually sided him).

"Boys suck." you groaned pettily as Dowoon, with unmistakeable redness on his face gestured for you to get onto the back of his scooter, and Younghyun laughed.

"Doesn't seem that way with our Dowoonie, am I right?" his unmistakeable fox eyes shot you a small wink, which was sort of annoying-till he yelled smugly, "Good luck on being the first there with extra baggage! Not like anyone ever manages to triumph me anyway."

With that, Younghyun's scooter whizzed off, black coat and black locks fluttering behind him care freely, like how his very personality was-and soon, Jaehyung's scooter whizzed off too, the only thing behind him being his screams of "I'm GONNA BEAT YOU THIS TIME, BRIAN!", and you couldn't help but giggle a bit-the antics of those two were always so stupidly humouring.

"Sorry, they can be a bit of a public embarrassment." Dowoon laughed helplessly, shaking his head, and with a small smile you too shook your head; you were totally fine with them, and you'd even say that having them around was enjoyable. "-Jihyo and Chaewon are actually joining us later, but they weren't comfortable on the scooter, and we need someone to drive our instruments."

He paused for a bit to catch his breath, expelling a small puff of white before explaining, "I hope you're okay with it too-the scooter can feel very unbalanced at first, but I think you can handle it. This sounds incredibly awkward, but you gotta hold onto my waist, or you'll probably fall off within a second of me accelerating. Alright? Don't want to be responsible for your medical fees." Dowoon ended off with a joking crease in his smirk before he tossed you a neon yellow helmet from the basket of the scooter, and you nodded before putting it on.

He thrusted the key into the slot rather vigorously, and soon there was a dull roar from the engine behind you, and at his command, you awkwardly positioned your hands at his waist area. Admittedly, it felt pretty good, however-the coat that hugged his waist was made of soft, thick brown fabric, and it reminded you of your honey scented sheets back at home.

"Ready to ride?" he suddenly piped up, happiness laced in his deep, comforting voice, and you shot him a thumbs up sign.

"Always ready." you answered eagerly, and with a louder roar from the engine than before, both of you sped out towards the moon, that lay on the horizon of the shimmering sea.

________________________

You felt like you were riding on the brim of a cloud as the wind zipped through your hair and your jacket, starting to take flight and flutter violently behind you like kites in the sky. The feeling of being so close to land, yet so far up into the sky was so indescribable-gravity accelerated the thrill in your heart as Dowoon let out a long, unceremonious scream, cheering for the destination that wasn't too far from where you were.

"We're almost here!" he broke into a small gummy smile beneath the mop of his fluttering curls-they seemed to run across the border of his forehead, like running waves crashing beautifully onto the shore of a beach.

However, contrary to your imagination, the river that surrounded all of you in its big embrace was especially quiet-only letting small dribbles of light from the lighthouse float gently above the surface of the waves as both of you moved past, like bioluminescent lily pads that had descended from the glow of the moon. Mountains foreshadowed the road ahead mysteriously, painted in a darker shade of navy than the star speckled-sky above both of you, and the road to the picnic area was long and windy, snaking out into a canopy of trees relaxedly.

"You'd never get anything like this in the city." you said in slight awe, hands slowly finding themselves crawling up to Dowoon's broad shoulders as you dared to hoist yourself up, breaking up from your posture a tad bit, and as you felt one of his curls brush past your wrists, he laughed his slow, deep laugh in response.

"You're cute. I had a friend that didn't live in Busan as a kid, and he lived in the more country area-he would probably protest if he heard what you just said..." His deep voice trailed off softly, seeming to follow the snaking nature of the concrete road ahead of you. "-Nevertheless, I'm happy we're here. It's nice to ride out here with someone."

His eyes, which had now stopped displaying the light of the sun to catch the glow of the moon, was still as warm as ever in the cold weather. With undeniable faith tinting the light that ringed his eyes, half opened submissively and bringing out the semi rosy tint in his bags, the carefree smile on his lips and the uplift of his cheeks resembling floating clouds didn't fail to bring you back in awe again; it was as if all laws of astronomy tailed after his presence, and followed in the footsteps of his unbreakable belief.

"You're really very beautiful." the words left your lips through an airy whisper, and you were too busy staring at him again to even notice what you said until Dowoon spoke up again.

"U-Um...Me? R-Really? Thanks, I guess..." his eyes bore a different spark to it as they drooped shyly, like a mimosa recoiling at someone's touch-and as the truth dawned onto you slowly, mixed feelings of embarrassment and self-blame kicked in a little too fast-you really, really wanted to kick yourself for saying that.

Trying to salvage the situation, you quickly spoke up upon seeing his tilted eyebrows and the embarrassment written on his face. "I-I didn't mean that in a weird way, I'm sorry, not that I don't love your looks-or not that I don't love you any less, i-it's just-" you stuttered awkwardly, brain stupidly failing you at this crucial moment-but being a nice guy, Dowoon just shook his head briefly.

With a small smile breaking onto his face, not fully suggestive; yet not fully chaste, he responded in awe, big eyes widening with more faith than before.

"No, no, please don't apologise, because..." Dowoon spoke with the smile of reuniting with someone again, overly excited to articulate his words properly, "B-Because, I-"

"Dowoon! What's taking you so long, can you drive faster? You're almost there already, hurry up!" Jaehyung's voice suddenly broke through the world that only both of you shared, halting the climax of the story. He and Younghyun were on a higher end of a cliff, where the destination was, and you could already see their hands waving vigorously in your direction. Jihyo and Chaewon had arrived too-you could see two figures with long hair sit on a big red mat.

"What was that you were going to say?" you asked, as the scooter started to move again; both of you had been so immersed in conversation that you hadn't even realised that Dowoon stopped the vehicle to talk.

However, contrary to what you thought he was going to say, Dowoon shook his head almost nonchalantly, losing a bit of the faith in his gaze as he looked down with baggy eyes of dejection.

He squeezed his lips into a textbook version of a smile and talked at a slower pace, this time more scarily composed than before. "I-It's nothing. I don't know if I'll have the courage to tell you again."

The entire trip to the cliff went downhill in a veil of awkward silence, both of you knowing full well in your hearts why such a thing had happened. Wind rocketed past your ears silently, blowing against your ears and hitting against your hair-as if coaxing you to speak, but right now, you didn't know if you had the courage to say anything to him when you had made him sad.

In less than a minute, the scooter had surfaced up the flatter parts of the cliff, and you decided that this was the best moment to speak up.

"I'm sorry if I made you sad or anything." you mumbled awkwardly, stepping out of the scooter and nearly losing your balance-having your feet on the ground after 2 whole hours seemed like a foreign concept to your legs right about now.

Dowoon shook a hand at you almost instantly. "You've made me more happy than I could ever imagine." he said unhesitantly, and this time, smiled at you with a more genuine smile. For a second, you could see the faith of the crescent moon resurface back on the ring of his eyes as he continued, "Just have fun tonight, that's all I ask for."

You nodded back, returning his smile; and with a new, strangely fluttering feeling in your heart you followed Dowoon to the picnic mat, where Jihyo and Chaewon were sitting, dressed in casual clothing-you felt slightly out of place, decked out in your sloppy, mud-speckled school uniform as you greeted them shyly, sitting yourself onto the mat. But thankfully, the girls initiated conversations well-definitely way better than you did, and within seconds, you hadn't even realised that Dowoon had slipped away to somewhere else.

"So, how's life after finals?" Jihyo asked cheerily, or rather, the way she usually talked; it wasn't rare to see that consistent, bright smile of hers plastered on her doll like face.

You didn't exactly know how to answer. "I don't really know. After school today I have that 4 month break that most have, so what happened after your break?" You started to laugh as you realised how you had redirected the topic back to them, and both of them started doing the same.

"Hmm-hahaha-I'd say that college life is still manageable, I've been doing it for about 2 months plus." Jihyo answered, failing to contain her laughter at one point as she squeezed her eyes together endearingly. "Chaewon is entering a polytechnic, so she has about 2 months more to break, same with Dowoon, Jaehyung and Younghyun want to go to a uni, so they're going to college too, but I don't know...like. I really don't know what I want in life yet..."

Her voice trailed off awkwardly, with the fading smear of her chirpy voice, and you couldn't help but relate. Sure, you had a subject combination and you had did pretty good in finals, but you didn't have a certain passion you would shirk everything to chase; not like many of the people in your class, who were already able to aim their arrows towards their target.

"It's okay. I'm sure you'll find it soon when the time arrives, I'm looking for what I want too." you said with empathy, and in response Jihyo nodded politely.

"I suppose."

All of you talked for a while longer, on less serious topics-occasionally breaking out in laughter when Jihyo came up with one of her silly, yet timely antics, and going soft hours when Chaewon showed all of you pictures of her labrador-it was a he, with a slender, healthy body and adorable marble eyes.

After a while of staring, you had only come to realise that the mahogany, soft brown shade of his fur was the same colour you saw, inked intricately in the depths of Dowoon's eyes.

Just then, there was a very coincidental, but hesitant tap on your shoulders.

"Can you come with me?" a low voice spoke up amidst the cooing over the dog, and you looked up, despite already recognising who it was.

This time, his gaze looked a little different; you couldn't help but feel slightly excited as you noticed the enigmatic sparkle that stood out amidst his gentle, brown eyes, taking his outstretched hand and standing up.

"Yoon Dowoon, I'm warning you, if you don't bring her back safely, we will tail after you with bats and split your head open." Jihyo suddenly spoke up with a glint in her big, doll eyes, voice cracking menacingly at the last line-and again, both of you laughed at her antics.

"Don't worry, I won't." he laughed awkwardly, voice faltering at the last line. You couldn't help but notice that Dowoon's cheeks were starting to heat up, but quickly ignored it when he gestured at you to follow him.

Contrary to what you thought it would be, the walk to the destination wasn't very long, unlike earlier on. From the angle of the picnic mat, a loudspeaker in the distance was clearly visible. Next to it were two other figures, Younghyun and Jaehyung-with a bass and electric guitar slung around their chests respectively.

Needlessly to say, you were shocked. "They can play those?" you exclaimed, and with a small nod, Dowoon chuckled gleefully, "Look to your left."

Without a moment of thought, you turned your head.

Cymbals, glinting on the cusp of its dully golden surface like the rings of Saturn, with two smaller drums and a large bass drum positioned at the bottom-it seemed like you were exaggerating, but...

"Dowoon, you can play that? " you cried out, faltering a little at the last word, but unlike how you had reacted, he just smiled like it wasn't that great of a feat to play the drums.

"Not just that, I'm going to play you a song." he responded triumphantly, as he approached the spinning chair behind it and sat down. A smug smile remained on his face unwaveringly as he bent down to pick up his drumsticks, humming a gentle tune between his lips-and you couldn't help but smile, wondering if that was the very song they were about to play.

"This is all for you by the way," Younghyun cut in, a malicious smirk playing on the sides of his lips as you turned to him, "-We have a school recital tomorrow, and we've practically practiced this song till we could play it with closed eyes-but our naughty youngest absolutely insisted on playing this instead of anything else, just because of his-"

"OKAY, OKAY, I think that's about enough." Dowoon shouted obnoxiously, with a slightly annoyed, slightly red look on his face, and everyone started to laugh.

"Take it away then, drummer boy." you said enthusiastically, remaining rooted to the ground in anticipation.

You definitely weren't ready for the moment he started to position those drumsticks of his.

As the guitar kicked off the song, while layered by the low consistency of the bass, you smiled unconsciously as you let the melody hum in your voice softly. It was in A major, a nice, steady rhythm; and more so when a string of clashes echoed from the cymbals, not too far away from where you were-before there was another silvery tap, followed up by what sounded like the rustle of leaves.

Then, as the melody descended down a few keys, Jaehyung rasped gently into the mic, like the soft blow of the night breeze surrounding you.

Every day I lived like I was dead But you

Became the reason For me to get up Once more You made me wanna open my eyes

In sync with the bass, your heart thumped against your chest-and you stared at Dowoon, who gave you a small smile, before going into a rapid flurry of beats yet again.

Just your smile alone Makes me breathe Because of you, I'm Better better Better baby Only your love Makes the frozen me Start to run again Higher higher Higher baby

The reason for all this looked back at you knowingly, with the same spark of faith spinning confidently in his eyes; as if he understood what he meant to you, and then, the night sky seemed to tear down from the face of the earth, and enclasp itself in the centre of his eyes.

I used to never wait for tomorrow But you Became the reason For me to take one more step Not too far ahead You held out your hand to me

Just your smile alone Makes me breathe Because of you, I'm Better better Better baby Only your love Makes the frozen me Start to run again Higher higher Higher baby The bass suddenly made no more sound, and soon, the music stopped with your heart.

"You must be confused now." Dowoon's low voice suddenly whispered at a distance awfully near where you were standing, and startling you; yet resonating so comfortingly in your ears while he spoke.

As he locked eyes with yours, the light promisingly dancing on the sides of his pupils held the lights of the stars in them-still the ones of a child, maybe even believing more than ever; and in all your awe you began to speak hastily, not knowing what to do.

"I-I don't know, I'm happy-and these words are what I've been meaning to say to you for the longest time, you mean a lot to me, and heck, I don't even know if I could have survived running without you, there's no way you could have known-"

"These words are the words I want to say to you too."

Your eyes widened as he said those words hopefully, taking your wrists-and all the signs of red surfacing across his cheeks, with the smiles that only he could have made you smile with; to the unsure, dull gaze you had seen at your first meeting, to the beautiful, starry sky you could barely fathom in the depth of his big, believing eyes.

"I wanted to drop by your school to visit, but I heard from your friends that you were hurting a lot today, so I didn’t end up going." he said quietly, now holding up the wrist with the thin, ugly scar zipped across it and kissing it; at that moment, you could barely believe the warmth that was withheld between every fibre in the soft, pillowy surface as Dowoon looked up at you again. "And I don't want to leave you like that again. Thank you for understanding me with that kind heart of yours, when I could barely have the willpower to train the batch, and bringing me so much happiness."

He paused for a bit, and as if his voice was a conductor, your breath halted simultaneously-before he opened his mouth again, and eagerly said the words that would change your life forever.

"I want to run with you forever."

You could barely contain yourself from crying again when the feelings gushed to your head, came raining down from your eyes as tears, and through all your emotions, you nodded vigorously.

"I want to do the same, Dowoon," you sniffed, barely stabilising yourself as you felt his callused hands land on your shoulders gently, holding you close to his chest, rising and falling in waves-he too, was crying; and you never wanted to leave that place again.

Just your smile alone Makes me breathe Because of you, I'm Better better Better baby Only your love Makes the frozen me Start to run again Higher higher Higher baby

From that day on, both of you ran not only across the running track in your school, but in the race of life, hand in hand-smiles being the breath in each other's lungs, and love being the reason to keep going.

Only your love could make the me who was stuck run again.

______________________

HECK THIS WAS SO CRINGEY AND CORNY IM SORRY ILL EDIT IT WHEN I HAVE TIME LOL!!! ugh I had sm fun tho lol Dowoon is really so precious and amazing aaaa ;;; also, I feel like I was only able to write this so well because of God, who plays the character of Dowoon and way more than that in my life-being the breath in my lungs and the reason to keep going, so really, all the glory be to Him, I have never wrote with such understanding of a concept like love and He really is so omnipresent and amazing in even everything I write even if I don't mention Him directly!!!

hehe I really like this story uwu its not the best and its way too long than it should have been but it will hold a special place in my heart!! to the anon that requested this I'm sorry if u expected a short read with a much more light hearted topic to 'cheering you up after a bad day at school' JHDSJKFHS HAHAHAHA gosh anyway I hope y'all enjoyed this if you even finished it, thanks for your support!! I'm writing this on my birthday so I gotta go sleep now, happy 2019 to everyone!

#admin n #day6 scenarios #yoon dowoon #better better #uwu

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kizardofkoz · 3 years

Text

Muscle

It was a little over a year ago and we were visiting with our best friends over Labor Day weekend. I was still in my first year of new baby, knee deep in first-year-baby-love and my all too familiar struggle of *bouncing back* (which has Never been my actual experience. It’s more like a slow rolling on the ground mixed with some crying, disgust, guilt, disgust at my guilt and guilty about my disgust, very slow muscle gain and trying to figure out how many WW points are in the scones I just made - because friends, I make a mean scone) and I was just feeling so irritated with where I was compared to where I wanted to be. Our friends looked so lean, healthy, toned -and I?

I was jealous.

I felt soft and annoyed. While I was grateful that I carried a baby for the fourth time, I was So. Over. Losing. *The Baby Weight*.

They said the only real change they had made in their lifestyle was that they had been running. (They also only have half as many children and are in a different life stage with their ages, but we’re focusing on the health portion here.)

And so.

I began running.

100% it was born out of a competitive desire to look and feel better and become a runner. But I actually found a part of me that I lost during quarantine, and the several year pattern of having and raising baby boys.

I would leave my house for 30-60 minutes, put on a podcast that scared me (it was early fall when this love affair really began to take hold and I would listen to Spooked! - holy crap, it is absolutely terrifying. So I would throw in some true crime, just to shake up my amygdala) and as the weather started to cool and leaves started to turn, I found my alone time, running the streets of my neighborhood.

And it was good.

Necessary.

Healing.

_______________________________________________________________________

I have had an interesting relationship with running and fitness my entire life. Exercise, up until this past year probably, was usually a punishment. A method to burn off the calories that I so painfully counted and tried to delete one way or another. (For several years -junior year of high school through sophomore year of college- that would involve sticking a finger down my throat, which is not a unique story for a teenage, American girl, yet it still feels quite vulnerable as I have never publicly mentioned it, like on this blog that has hundreds of thousands of followers. ;) I grew up sitting on a piano bench. I was never a super athletic kid (and was often told that) and things like running, and sports and physical coordination seemed like another realm that I would never know. So I would admire all of the athletic kids that looked so sinewy and strong and natural, and I would feel embarrassed and frustrated that God gave me the body that I had. I was grateful for my artsy, musical abilities, but in this culture, as a young woman especially, there is no greater skill or attribute, then to be small, smooth, and beautiful.

I am still trying to figure out how to undo parts of this thinking.

Stretched skin, years of confidence building, therapy and relearning that food is actually really delicious (who knew!) has helped tremendously. I wish I could hug younger me.

But she had to learn this on her own.

In her own way.

In her own time.

So at this time, as a matured 37 year old, I went into running differently. I would leave my house and find new paths that had more gradual hills because you don’t realize how hilly your neighborhood is until you try to run. Or ride a bike. Or in my case, walk a bike up a hill.

But I would also allow myself to slow down. To walk. For the first time in my life I listened to my body, and if she was tired, I walked. If she couldn’t breathe, I slowed down to catch my breath. And it changed everything. I built strength and avoided injury. I looked forward to my next run because I wasn’t too sore, and because once I had quit using running as a method of torture it actually started to become quite rewarding. My soul needed the exercise as much as my muscles.

Minus all of the true crime and ghost stories, it was kind of like prayer at times. Or some really bizarre, spooky therapy.

_______________________________________________________________________

Three weeks ago I had the absolute honor and life blessing of being able to attend a women’s retreat in Estes Park, CO. I flew there early on a Thursday morning to meet up with 20 women who I had never met to reconnect with a God that I was missing dearly and to find myself again.

Oh my gosh.

I can’t even explain the exact magic of that weekend and I actually won’t give away too many details because part of the retreats’ (there are two: a mens ones and they just began a women’s one last year) magic is the slight, secret-society-ish-ness of it, so a previous group won’t ruin the experience for those that follow.

But I felt so taken care of and loved. I have not had the time and space to release and let go the way I was able to. In years. Every meal was prepared and cleaned by a woman named Jess. Every activity was thoughtfully planned yet not overbooked. I didn’t have to make a decision, make breakfast or make a to-do list. My nervous system settled and my brain was clearer than I feel it has been in my adult life.

And my heart.

I didn’t realize how lethargic I had become in my own faith. Of course I love God and Jesus and my faith is the most important thing to me, but was I actively doing anything to strengthen and encourage it? Negative.

And this is where muscle comes in.

I have been running and conditioning my body over the past year to run miles, to handle hills, build my stamina and improve my pace. I have put in the work and time and my body is stronger. Muscle memory.

In Estes, I feel like I just went through a spiritual bootcamp. I received a megadose injection of peace, love, refinement, depth, stillness and Jesus. I can either keep going and try to maintain and strengthen this muscle, or I can become apathetic, put it off for tomorrow, make excuses that were never meant to be excuses and just not prioritize this thing that I claim is the most important thing to me.

Guys. (And gals!)

I did it.

I’m doing it.

I am actually carving out time each day (mostly) and I am keeping a prayer journal and reading from a devotional (I go between Shauna Neiquest’s “Savor” - thank you Meredith Hopping and Sarah Young’s “Jesus Calling”, thank you Mom), and I am Reading My Bible. (I’m a Message girl, which should not be surprising at all. The Poetry and FEELINGS!) And I am actually WANTING to read the bible. Like, I am finding it interesting and I actually kind of look forward to reading it the next day because I want to know what happens and not “I am reading this because I am Supposed to and because I have promised God since I was a child that I would read the whole thing and there’s no time like at age 37 to make good on a promise to Jehovah that I made as a 6 year old. That makes sense.”

I say all of these words NOT TO BRAG AT ALL BECAUSE NO NOPE NOPE NO NO, but to hopefully encourage others out there. (PS, I’m reading 1 Kings - if you’re Trump, that would be “One Kings”, I’m also praying for compassion and less judgment from myself. And that was the most compassionate way I could say that.:) I realized that just like with exercise, I often felt that if I didn’t have enough time to really sit down and read chapters of the bible, or have 10-15 minutes for a deep, thoughtful prayer, then it wasn’t worth giving God any time at all. I was being a perfectionist with my faith life and refused to not partake if it couldn’t be what I thought it would be. Or should be.

And I don’t really think God, in the end, gives a shit.

I think God wants any and all. God will take a 10 second, or 3 minutes or half hour long prayer. As long as it is authentic and humble and vulnerable because I think that is what God works with best and how we can refine and mature the most. I also think intentional longer prayers that include time to pause and listen (especially with the terrifying, faith building fear of But what if God doesn’t answer). God and I have always chatted throughout the day, but overall, I realized that I was getting in my own way with some twisted perfectionism, when all God wants is my truest, most imperfect self.

Along with this, I have also been much more gentle with myself. I skipped a day the other day. (And yesterday!) And this is okay. I wasn’t able to get it in and instead of shaming myself and feeling guilty, negative and embarrassed, I gave myself love. I let myself walk instead of run because there are busy days and hills and we aren’t made to run and dominate every single one of them every single time.

It is also important to note that I spent much of this weekend eating chips and birthday cake as it was our eldest’s first sleepover party. I stepped on the scale this morning and it was 2-3 pounds higher than it normally is. And you know what? I am actually okay. I am probably the most okay I have ever been in this situation and I am absolutely floored and comforted that I know God sees me and knows what I need. I know that in time I will get back to where I was, not with punishment but with mindfulness. And to stop eating the cake (it was so good though). And maybe ease off of the chips.

And to joyfully run.

God’s grace is so wild, and beautiful, and abundant.

I think I grew up with a bit of a childish, lopsided idea of God. I don’t know if it was my education, my church, my family or my own absorption and interpretation, but for a very, very long time I knew God was loving, but I also knew God was wrathful, jealous, vengeful and judgmental. After years of growth and exposing myself to other theologies, biblical philosophies, and finding my own spiritual and path, I have rediscovered Jesus and God in a whole new way. I have been reminded of, or relearned, God’s tenderness.

God’s Gentleness.

God’s Compassion.

And I truly think if we could remember these qualities first, and also use these qualities first as Christians - to one another, to ourselves, and to *gasp* non-Christians - the world would literally be a different place.

So.

I am going to continue building these muscles. I have worked really, really hard to get to where I am physically and I am really, really proud of it. I can run and keep up with my children, I have no idea what I could bench or deadlift but I can pick up our enormous <99% 1 year old multiple times each day and I feel like that in and of itself could be a really popular WOD. “The Kepler”: pick up 35 pounds 50 times and run across the house between each set of five. Then halfway through you change the laundry over as fast as you can and at the very end you realize you forgot to push start on the dryer.

Repeat as necessary.

And I am going to continue building my spiritual muscle. This looks like prayer time, bible reading, (I even installed a wall light so I can read in this special spot because we know that special spots are really important to Jesus.) and prioritizing this priority to me.

And this also looks like tenderness.

Gentleness.

Compassion.

Because even God knows we need a sabbath and sometimes the body just needs to rest.

The soul, too.

And I am learning to be gentle with myself. To love me and give grace to me even when I skip a day.

At least spiritually.

Because physically, I am still doing “The Kepler” daily.

Even more exhausting because my warm-up is “The Wyndsor”.

The charcuterie board that puts all other charcuterie boards to shame. Jess, a pilates instructor with a gift of hospitality, healthy cooking and presentation made us the most beautiful meals. And coffee. And wine. And pop corn. And fudge. I miss Jess.

I know what you’re thinking - *Now I see why they have 4 boys!* BECAUSE I LOOK SO DAMN GOOD IN OVERALLS!!

Just 20 something of my new dearest friends. I can’t wait to see them again next fall. So I can start crying every six sentences and zen out in all of God’s natural beauty coming through the landscape, the carved out time and the stories each of these women are carrying. Ready to drink around a fire with all of you again. I will try to stay up later this time. Maybe. (Who have I become??!) #Revel2021

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wanjeokhaeseo · 5 years

Text

better better 💛 🐻 🍯

너의 그 사랑만이 멈춰있던 날 다시 뛰게 해.

[ Only your love could make the me who was stuck run again. ]

blog navigator.

day6 masterlist

TW: if you squint, there’s very mild mentions of child abuse, physical and verbal

↪ group: DAY6

↪ member: Yoon Dowoon

↪ genre: idk its not really fluff either, (IM SORRY ANON IT GETS VERY FLUFFY AT THE END) but its 90 percent angst free LOL ??? this story is too out of the ordinary to categorise lol ☀️

↪ request: hey admin n! can i have a fluffy day6 dowoon scenario where he cheers you up from a bad day in school? thank you!

↪ A/N: I really wanted to write something for Dowoon, thank you so much, anon who requested this!! I somehow thought of the spiritual love I receive everyday from God (I’m christian to all of y'all who dk, haha) so I think this story will hold a special place in my heart!!! also, the story plot is largely inspired by one of the characters in the story by 九把刀 - 等一个人咖啡，so if u understand Chinese please give it a read, its a nice story uwuwuwuuwwu

edit i am SO SORRY THIS WAS WAY LONGER THAN IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE the word count will probably be like idk 8000 by the time i finished this when u requested for a scenario lolz i got way too invested I apologise…I wrote almost everyday for a whole week I regret getting carried away oh my gosh, but I hope you enjoy this, I really worked very hard on this!!!

ps im sorry if jihyo is ooc, never written nor know twice well but id say I’m a fan of their music hehe

______________________________________

Realising this with your own dark ringed, half opened eyes, you couldn’t help but feel the ends of your lips angle up slowly-the world was so beautiful, you couldn’t help but think as you knelt down to sit onto the rugged surface of the big, enveloping area-whoever had created it for all its small but still amazing features was exceptionally genius.

You sighed when you saw the creases in his forehead, and the unmistakeable hint of a frown on his tan, oval face-this was not going to be too good of a day.

You just hoped that he wasn’t going to make all of you do 4 rounds around the school today. Running, needlessly to say really was not something a person like you liked to do-sweat all over your face, springing pimples on your face, grasping for breath and literally collapsing in front of the whole class like a dead fish because of how energy deprived you were? You were going to pass, thanks.

“Now, class!” his low baritone rasped out to the class, carrying a strong sense of dominance in it like he was speaking to a platoon in the army, “We have a group of alumni today, coming back to visit and help all of you train for your Physical Education Examinations next year.” At that, his outstretched wrists flicked backwards loosely, gesturing for the alumni to come, and he continued again, “They are alumni that were our top students from last year, and did exceptionally well. They have all took time out of their 4 month break after examinations to train all of you, so please be nice, and don’t be so unruly.”

As soon as he had said that, the class started breaking out into applause as the five students stepped into everyone’s field of vision.

Your eyes widened when you saw the bones, standing out like rocks in the their toned, fit arm and leg muscles-even the girls’ thighs that was supposedly, the most unattractive part of everyone’s body had ‘walls’ lining their lean, hourglass figure. Confident smiles were plastered to most of their faces, with a few tired exceptions-heck, one even had a smirk playing on their face as he scanned the class below him.

Inwardly, as you heard the laughs of the alumni that had aroused from the awing of their juniors below them, you couldn’t help but shudder inside-there was no, freaking way that you were going to look like that after training with them.

You didn’t want to, anyway-that meant rigorous hours of training and stitches 'basking’ under the unhelpful, boiling cover of the sun.

“Hello, Class 3D9, I am your senior, Park Jaehyung, and I’m here to train all of you for the exams, since all of you don’t seem that excited for it, judging by your expressions.” His features softened considerably from a look of mirth to one of gaiety as he started to speak in a 'half air half voice’ kind of way-rasping yet not quite, and you rolled your eyes.

It wasn’t really that you disliked him much, but you could already picture him being the heartthrob of the girls in class-the gleam in their previously irritant, but now smitten eyes was so undeniably revolting.

They all nodded furiously at the last sentence, and he began to laugh a bit (attracting more squeals from the girls, much to your dismay) before speaking again, this time with the narrow of an eyebrow and a more serious, raised voice. “I know all of you might be thinking that this is very pointless, and stupid. I know. None of you really want to be an athlete in the future, and I understand. But I really hope all of you can treat this seriously, because health in the long run is really very important, and I want all of you to take not only the PE finals but the entrance exam to college confidently, and healthily. Are all of you with me?”

Like how any motivational speaker would have done, there was an applied pressure at the last line, and soon, a long, unenthusiastic 'yes’ drawled out of everyone’s barely parted mouth.

You snickered a bit at the frown on Jaehyung’s face when he heard it-he really should have known beforehand, that encouraging a class didn’t consist of just one pathetic speech, and you started to doubt if he had really been from this school.

Let’s face it, motivation really wasn’t this generation’s thing.

“Are all of you with me!” he rasped again, this time yelling into the microphone obnoxiously and poking a hole in your eardrums.

“YES!” the class shouted with increased volume to appease him.

Just please, don’t shout into the microphone again, you whimpered inwardly.

At this, Jaehyung looked more or less satisfied (thank God), and with the small hint of a smile, he passed over the microphone to another guy, whose eyes first caught your own. They were delicately angled into the eyes of a fox, emanating a half elegant aura that still seemed to hint 'Let’s have fun, everyone!’ They fell into small crescents when he started to laugh at Jaehyung’s incapabilities to lead the class, and the circles in his lean, rosy cheek bones spelt attractiveness at its finest.

With a sweet smile on his face, he held up the microphone to his mouth and started to talk. “Morning, class! Sorry if Jaehyung sounds like a bit of a drag. I know he has that student leader aura, but you can’t blame him, he’s always been burying his face in a book during recess-HEY!” The class, including him, started to erupt into waves of giggles when Jaehyung flicked his forehead, a faux anger playing on his arched eyebrows and widened, now not so small eyes. “FINE, fine, I’ll stop! Anyway, hello Class 3D9, this is your cooler senior, Kang Younghyun, and I hope to train all of you to success in the exams. Thank you!” Younghyun proceeded to bow with the shy lift of his eyebrows, and everyone clapped.

“His real name is actually Brian, please ignore him.” Jaehyung added in with a wink, earning a loud slap on the shoulder from Younghyun (with a subsequent yelp from himself) and more laughter from the juniors, yourself included. Your seniors seemed pretty chill and friendly, not like how you thought they would be.

But sadly, as they were supposedly goofing around too much, the PE teacher blew that stupid, ear-wrenching whistle of his, causing you to jump up in shock again. “Okay boys, lets finish this up quickly.” he said curtly, strict gaze fleeting past the two boys and causing their playful charm to melt like ice in front of him.

As Jaehyung and Younghyun simultaneously did a long, 90 degree bow, mouthing 'sorry’ repeatedly, you and quite a good majority of your other classmates sighed, inwardly feeling a tad deflated-looks like the rest of the introduction wasn’t going to be that fun after all.

As she talked, she slipped a few jokes there and then mid-conversation, not too much that the PE teacher had to cut in, but attempting to keep the class’ attention on her afloat. Jihyo had an unmistakeable pleasant aura that seemed to infect everyone with her laugh, and from the bottom of your heart, you really wanted to befriend her-someone approachable and easy to talk to.

You didn’t really mind it much when people talked a lot, but when they overdid it, it got kind of…boring.

“H-Hello, I’m Yoon Dowoon, and-”

“I ate ants as a kindergartener.” Jaehyung’s unmistakeable airy voice cut in annoyingly, causing Dowoon’s face to flush a big, rosy red whilst all of you chortled with a louder, more extreme laughter than before-and instantly, you became alive again as the mental image of a small boy swallowing the poor insect with the brightest smile sent you rolling onto the floor.

“He even gave a whole box to his teacher.” came a rather unhelpful snicker from Younghyun, further fuelling the laughter and the blush on Dowoon’s face.

You couldn’t help but admit, that he was sort of cute when he was embarrassed, though-Dowoon had the small, but believing eyes of a child, with two pretty, but not 'big enough that it protruded’ kind of bags attached below them delicately. The gentle up curve of the sides of his big button nose was really attractive, and he had semi-big lips that pouted out like the small petals of a daisy.

Seeing Jaehyung’s joking, almost condescending smirk resurface onto his face and look down onto Dowoon’s expressionless eyes, which now refused to concentrate on anywhere but the floor was maybe, just maybe-sort of sad.

Unlike Jihyo, you couldn’t see even a small fragment of the sky in his eyes-it was as if someone had just painted his eyes brown and decided it would stay that way for the rest of the day.

Dowoon was too embarrassed to do anything else, and without even looking up, he passed the microphone to the PE teacher, whose nonchalant expressions didn’t seem to care much either.

Being known by 'the guy who ate ants as a kindergartener’ to everyone, instead of who he really was mustn’t have been a very nice feeling, especially to his juniors-who was supposed to look at him as a superior and a leader figure.

Just as you were debating on whether or not to ask them to stop, a scream broke out through the assembly grounds, shutting everyone up with a magic swipe of its hand.

Of course, it had to be the stupid whistle.

“Are we here to joke, or train? Get up, all of you! We’re going to run today.” the PE teacher’s obnoxiously booming, demanding voice rang into everyone’s ears unpleasantly, the catalyst to the small groans of dismay breaking out amidst the class that was already preparing to stand and walk to the field.

“Can you believe he actually did that?” your friends approached you in a fit of giggles as all of you approached the running track, with a new topic to revolve your conversation around.

Just that, this time, you didn’t really want to join in.

It wasn’t the best of days after all, you thought with a small hang up in the side of your chest. Out of all things, after seeing a poor boy getting bullied by his own friends, you had to do the stupid 4 rounds that all of you did practically every week.

You saw the big, believing eyes of a child again as you did so-it was Dowoon, and to your surprise, those eyes noticed your gaze and looked back.

Crap, he’s really, very cute. you could feel your head lose some of its gravity and your heartbeat accelerating as he proceeded to smile after, the lift of his plump, daisy lips showing off his round, marshmallow-like cheeks.

“You okay?” his deep voice asked you gently, and you nodded with a small laugh, realising how much of a mess you must have looked in front of him for him to ask such a question.

“I should be the one asking you that. I’m sorry for laughing at you earlier.”

With that, his smile angled further into a laugh of his own, and Dowoon replied, “It’s okay. I’m used to it already.”

You could already feel your forehead crease in slight disbelief, as you stared at the sheepish falter in his smile and recalled how unhappy he was earlier on.

“That’s not true-”

BEEP!

The PE teacher’s whistle had already gone off, and Dowoon, much to a top runner’s expectations, was already speeding far ahead of you with a steady, confident pace as his brown curls bounced gently under the force of his movements.

Looking at nowhere but the front, he looked determined to finish what he had started-something you could probably only dream of having.

“What’s taking you so long? Hurry up!” the PE teacher yelled at you, averting your attention away from your senior and back to your miserable plight.

You sighed with a slightly defeated energy, giving him a perfunctory nod as you too, began to move towards the finish line.

That is, if you could even make it.

As you ran, you made a mental note to never use that stupid whistle ever again.

________________________________________________

31st December, 2018.

“Se-second place in class? No way, you must have heard wrongly. Second place girls-wise, maybe…” you insisted disbelievingly, feeling the air brush against your throat as you inhaled sharply, hardly able to fathom the news that had just been broken to you.

“I’m serious, man. It came as a shock to everyone yesterday as well.” he said, hiding a gentle, but knowing giggle in 'serious’. “You really have Dowoon to thank, look at you go.”

You stared at the suggestive crease in Sungjin’s big, pretty eyes, not bothering to hide the sarcasm dripping from your smile (very well knowing that someone like Sungjin was capable of playing such pranks on you).

“And where can I get more reliable information?” you demanded, refusing to tear away your gaze from his, and noticing the added pressure in 'reliable’, Sungjin couldn’t help but break into a more relaxed smile as he lifted his hands up in surrender.

“Fine, go see for yourself, just don’t hit me, please.”

He pointed a finger at the notice board, littered with numerous sheets of construction paper from all the projects your class had been assigned this year, almost like a peacock’s feathers unfolding.

However, there was one paper that stood out from the rest, dull, white and boring-but maybe not so, once the truth was revealed.

In big, bold letters, it spelt:

PHYSICAL EDUCATION EXAMINATION RESULTS: CLASS 3D9.

It had been a while of panning up, and your squatting legs were getting tired; though knowing full well that you looked the part of an idiot while doing all this. You couldn’t find your name anywhere on the board, and as your legs slowly broke its position to ascend further, the anxiety in your chest seemed to rise along with it-what if you had done so bad a job, you couldn’t even get a position?

What if Dowoon had seen it and would never talk to you ever again? What would your parents say when they knew…

Just as your imagination was trailing all the way off from your real goal, the truth imprinted in cold, black ink debunked all of the scenarios in your head.

Your name was right next to the position, second place.

“So you weren’t lying!” was the first thing you did as you shouted out of instinct from the opposite position of the classroom. As many other students turned their heads to you in slight frustration, you could hear Sungjin’s sniggers direct back at you in response, which was yeah, albeit sort of annoying-but nothing could really smother the joy you were feeling at this moment.

Your eyes lingered for a long time onto the placing that you had gotten, and you recalled all of Dowoon’s practice sessions with you-how he had drawn out almost 90% of his 4 month break just to train with you after school, how you had nearly tripped over a hurdle on the running track and causing both of you to laugh, how he had made you draw out a meal plan for him to monitor your food intake everyday-you’d never thought you’d say this, but you really, really missedit.

As you thought back to the believing eyes of a small child, looking up at the boundless sea of a sky-the clouds floating past resembling well his sweat glazed cheeks, you realised-how much you’d miss his presence that pushed forward, reaching out to the you who couldn’t be bothered with most things, his care that reached out to the you who didn’t care for yourself-not necessarily in a romantic way.

The thought of getting Dowoon’s number had very stupidly, slipped off your mind amidst all the joy he had brought you, and your good mood was surprisingly diminished by a small tinge of guilt as you returned to your desk.

You regretted it. A lot.

“All those training sessions with her partner must have helped a lot, huh? The one who ate ants in kindergarten, I have to laugh.” Suddenly, the silent, but tangible hiss of a group of girls fluttered past your ears, and without thinking, a small sense of anger blazed up in your heart as you stood up with a jolt.

How dare they say such a thing about such an amazing person.

“Don’t talk about your senior like that.” you deadpanned, with the motivation of anger that had backed you up well.

“Sorry.” was all they could manage awkwardly, a sheepish, yet somehow insincere smile dripping from their lips as they slipped away to their own desks-people nowadays just loved to talk about others behind their backs, and you sighed.

Only your love could make the me who was stuck in a rut run again.

_____________________________________________________________

“You got second place in the finals? Okay. Well, good for you, but I don’t think you’d come to me just for that.” the PE teacher slurred his words sharply, suddenly looking up at you from the bend of his glasses with a dull expression in his eyes. He seemed way more fascinated in the papers lulled over by his wrists than your dumb questions, and in all honesty, it was getting sort of annoying.

He was right, however; the last thing you’d ever do was to go into the lion’s den without an ulterior motive.

No one really dared to talk to the PE teacher about anything else besides school.

Plus, you could already imagine all the worst case scenarios if he was in a particularly bad mood today, and…let’s just say that detention would potentially be the second best option.

He really wasn’t the best person to talk to.

But in this case…

You looked up at the spinning blades of the fan again, and felt the swirl of cool air blow through your hair gently.

Maybe he was.

At such a comforting touch, you tried your best to ignore the pounding headache dragging you down; and with painstakingly mustered courage, you spoke.

“T-Teacher, do you have Dowoon’s number? Like, the one who was our senior?”

Regret kicked in the second you had spoke of Dowoon’s name, and you could literally feel your temples and limbs lose all sense of gravity as your reputation crashed to the floor. You could feel your heartbeat go into allegro, pounding onto every organ in your body as the PE teacher looked up with the most unreadable expression on his face.

I’m doomed for life, Dowoon’s gonna think I’m a stalker, and-

“Hahahaha.”

Laughter rolled out in the depth of that intimidating voice, like coffee spilt over a cleanly lacquered table.

Especially when he looked at you with amusement twinkling in the corners of his slit-shaped eyes.

“So, what next? You’re asking, me? To help you with your half baked attempt of asking a senior out on a date?” he snarled sarcastically, getting out of his seat and approaching you. The corners of his mouth tugged at a smirk, baring his set of sharp teeth; the jaws of a wolf, that spelt warning at its finest, and in all your shock, you recoiled back.

You didn’t think this was how it would end up; no, not like this.

Just then, you felt a hand arrest your wrists tightly, digging holes in your skin.

The pain from the wolf’s claws amplified your vocal cords as you screamed, causing all the other teachers out there to look at you from their desks, and inside, you wanted to cry; you had never been humiliated so bad in your entire life.

“In your dreams.”

You were way too sad to hide any further.

__________________________________________

“I’m sorry for what happened today…but I’m happy that senior was able to bring you so far.” he barely managed, with his smooth, soft voice that seemed to skim lightly over the atmosphere of the café; just like the soft cream that had been drizzled meticulously over the cup of coffee on the table.

You weren’t taking it, the coffee that he had made for you not too long ago. Not really that you had anything against him, no-definitely not your caring, gentle coworker, but you didn’t really have the mood to drink anything as of now…You sighed briefly, dusting your apron to keep yourself preoccupied, but still not managing to let off all the steam in your body.

It wasn’t very fair that they’d have to put up with your emotional baggage when they were here to get a drink, maybe even to destress and wind down for the day.

“Pil-ah, it’s okay, I don’t really want a drink as of now.” you played it off as calmly as you could, slotting the key into the box and letting it slide open with a click. “You can drink it or something, you don’t look too energised yourself.”

“Heyyyyy, come on…don’t be like this, I’ve known you for so long already. You’ve got to take care of yourself, even when you’re sad.”

The last line got you hard, and as you saw the customer’s eyes widen in judgement behind her mop of ashy bangs, you couldn’t help but glare back at him.

“Wonpil, I said I was okay.” you deadpanned with added pressure, however, subsequently feeling guilt crawling onto your nerves after realising how mean that had sounded. His features had softened considerably, with a slightly hurt look in his big, innocent eyes, and you didn’t really want to hurt anyone else when you yourself had been hurt enough.

“I’m sorry, just-I’m tired from today.” you sighed helplessly, having been pushed into a corner, and being his understanding self, Wonpil nodded back with concern laced in his seemingly nonchalant smile.

It wasn’t surprising; the weather today was warm. Lances of golden sunlight had dropped by the café, gracing its interior in its crisp, evening glow, and very miserably, laughing at your bad mood that contrasted with it.

“Are you okay now?”

You turned around to see Wonpil, eyebrows raised, hands rested in the pockets of his apron; and a rare, but serious look in his eyes as he prepared to listen to you.

As much as you didn’t want him to worry over you, you knew how stubbornly insistent he was with getting things off your chest, so nevertheless, you opened your mouth-wondering what you had done to deserve his grace at the back of your mind.

“I-It’s nothing really, it’s just-” you exhaled, breaking into a nervous box smile as you ran a hand through your hair, barely having the right state of mind to continue, “I really wanted to thank him for his kindness and how he cared for my growth so selflessly, but apart from being so embarrassed by the teacher, not being able to do that anymore-it makes me feel so, so bad, knowing that I was never able to do anything for him, because I really, really miss him, and-”

“Don’t say anymore. I understand.”

You felt Wonpil’s hand descend onto your back, like the touch of a small, but pretty little butterfly as it fluttered over the expanse of your spine, caressing it gently and hushing your shaking nerves.

“T-Thank you so much.” you choked awkwardly, not knowing any better way to express your gratitude, and even in the darkness of your closed eyes, you could already picture Wonpil’s relaxed, comforting smile playing on the sides of his face as he chuckled softly.

Just then, a cough cut in, putting a halt to your sobs and causing both of you to turn to the customer.

“Um…I’m sorry to interrupt this moment, but can I have three iced lattes? Please?” he said, carrying a half air, half voice tone-and with the guidance of your instinct your head immediately shot up from your palms.

There was only one person you knew with such a voice-the one you heard when you had first met the school alumni.

“P-Park Jaehyung?” you yelled instinctively, and your own eyes revealed the truth to you quickly-lean, rosy cheeks, big lips, small, droopy eyes, that were now widened into large circles as they stared back at you, with equally as much surprise in his gaze.

“Ohhhhh my! Y-You’re the junior that trained with Dowoon a lot, right?” In his hearty voice, he exclaimed almost disbelievingly, but causing you to blush furiously; it was rather weird being so closely associated with him. “And hey, don’t be rude-how dare you call a senior by their full name.” he added on teasingly, and both of you laughed.

“I think I’ll make the drinks for today-you definitely need to catch up with him, someone might be there waiting for you.” Wonpil’s voice said behind you understandingly, and you said a quick thank you with a smile before walking over to Jaehyung’s seat.

“Oh, sorry for my impoliteness, Your Highness, Park Jaehyung, my queen-does this make it better now?” you retorted quickly, with a cheeky smirk on your face and triggering a gasp from him.

“Excuse me? Your audacity? Oh, and by that guy’s sound, you sound like you’re only here to see Dowoon, how sad-he isn’t here, because I’m the most significant out of everyone there.” he snickered back, laughing even harder when you stuck out your tongue back at him pettily-but to your surprise, it didn’t last very long.

“Jaehyungie-hyung, don’t be so mean! I’m here, hi! I haven’t seen you in so long, are you doing okay?” a deep voice exclaimed, causing your jaw to drop even further, if that was even possible-and your feelings seemed to arrest all the air in your chest, just for a second-when you once again, saw the big, believing eyes of a child and his kind, untainted smile.

It was the boy that had spent countless hours under the sun, pushing you towards your goals endlessly.

It wasn’t just any person, a random school alumni that had came to their transit stop for a while to leave again-it was Dowoon, Yoon Dowoon, of all people that you could have seen on that miserable day of yours.

It seemed almost intangible, yet so palpable as you ran to him, calling his name, as your hands managed to even hug his taller figure again-you could have nearly cried when you felt his bigger palm crash against your back with sincerity, and while you heard Dowoon’s deep voice roll out a long string of laughter, commenting jokingly, “Man, I never knew a girl would miss me so much,” you sort of wanted to smack him-yet was definitely in awe of the fact that you could hear that laughter again.

You’d never think that you would have heard it ever again.

“Shut up, I’m just here because you got me a second place position in running, loser.” you giggled it off coolly, but failing terribly to hide the happiness stupidly written all over your face as Dowoon’s smile angled up further, wearing his pride proudly on his sleeve as he gave you a high five.

“Really? Oh my gosh, that’s so amazing! I’m so proud of my student.” he laughed, childlike eyes widening in happiness and amplifying his innocence. “You deserve it man, you trained so hard for the test-definitely more commitment than I think you would have had.”

“Ow, thanks a lot for the last comment, jeez, alright, I know I suck.” you jutted out your lips in faux sadness, clutching your heart to your chest-but quickly remembering why you were so happy to see him again, you hastily added, “But thanks anyway, for guiding me. Couldn’t have done it without you, taking so much time off your break.”

There. I finally said it, you thought happily, allowing yourself a small grin when Dowoon rejected your praises quickly, hurriedly saying, “No, no, I didn’t really do anything,” and starting to ramble on about how you had done so much more to deserve it-his eyes got even bigger when he was in slight shock, and he looked the part of a small, innocent child more than ever.

“And oh, right.” Dowoon suddenly spoke up amidst the topic of running, grabbing your attention. You couldn’t help but giggle when he was about to open his mouth to speak, but instead-shut it again and started tugging the edges of his hair, mouthing things to himself with eyes squeezed together tightly-probably a long string of Jaehyung’s 'motivational quotes.

A part of your heart fluttered at the purity his very being exuded-he was really, very cute.

But in all your mirth, you couldn’t help it-you absolutely had to smack him.

“Yoon Dowoon, hurry up!” you snapped quickly, however with a cheeky smile that showed your real intentions. Dowoon was momentarily taken aback-but his features quickly softened after, when he realised you were joking.

“Sorry for being such a big mess, it’s just…” he barely smiled softly, breaking out into further nervous laughter when Jaehyung and Younghyun started to beat his back repeatedly.

“Do you want to go out with us today? We’re going to my place further out from the city, and uh…we’re setting off fireworks and having a picnic around there and playing our instruments and stuff-” There was probably going to be no end to his rambling if Younghyun hadn’t gave him a loud slap on his back-at this point, the creases in his eyes and sheepish box smile showed it all; he was incredibly, incredibly flustered, and to your dismay-also incredibly endearing.

But still, you couldn’t miss grabbing the opportunity to tease him. You lifted your lips into a smirk, rocking your shoes against the foot of the table as you cooed, “Aww, is my senior asking me out on a date? I’d love to go with you, aww, Dowoonie…” Everyone in the place, yes, including that grumpy female customer; broke into fits of giggles, raising the atmosphere of the previously still, 'cultured’ public place as you chased after Dowoon, who was currently running away from you and ducked his head to hide under the table.

“Haha, why are you genuinely scared? I was only joking, you’re so adorable.” you grinned cheekily as you saw the blush dancing above his round, squishy cheeks and the embarrassment in his semi opened eyes, “I’ll come with you. It’s quite timely as well, since I’ve had quite a bad day at school…You know what, I’ll say later. I gotta finish my shift first, Wonpil can’t possibly do everything for me.” you quickly added when you saw his eyebrows widen in slight concern, and with a good-natured, outstretched wrist you helped Dowoon up from the table; who was quick to stick out his tongue when he saw that Jaehyung and Younghyun were still unable to contain the mirth written across their faces.

“So, I’ll see you at 7 then?” he smiled awkwardly, trying his best to ignore them, and you nodded back eagerly as you walked him out of the shop, and into the embrace of the outdoors again.

It seemed so coincidental, that even as Jaehyung and Younghyun had simultaneously tagged along behind the two of you and out into the open, the sun was only blazing through the gaps in Dowoon’s curls-girdling the ridges of his shoulders, slicing through the sides of his face and oozing into the crevices of his warm, faith-filled eyes.

You smiled.

The world was so beautiful.

“See you later! Don’t miss me too much!” you yelled out to Dowoon jokingly, as he and the other boys got into the small scooters they shared-and after he had yelled back with equal gusto, “Back at you!”, the three scooters sped in the other direction; hopefully, anticipating the time where they came back the other way again, because you sure were.

_____________________________

unknown: It’s 7 lol have you ended your shift yet?

you: Yeah I have! Are you Dowoon or…?

unknown: No I’m Brian #sike

unknown: Please ignore that, Jaehyungie-hyung took my phone, I don’t know what he’s doing with his weird hashtags again TTTTTTTTT

you: HAHAHAHA TELL HIM HE SUCKS

you: It’s nice to have your number though…it sucked not being able to contact you :( How did you get it anyway?

Dowoon: Yeah hhhh Wonpil told me earlier :) I didn’t think you would mind…so

you: Haha of course not! Anyway, are you on the way?

Dowoon: Wouldn’t dare to be late, I’m already here hehe ^^

Noticing that you were already hanging up your apron and practically bouncing to the kitchen to clean up, Wonpil couldn’t help but throw a good-natured laugh at you. “Someone’s excited for their first date.” he remarked suggestively, cleaning the used table under the illumination of the light bulb hanging above him, and if it wasn’t for the distance between both of you you would have probably kicked him in response.

“Shut uuuuup, there’s literally 2 other boys goiiiiing.” you whined, taking one of the leftover plates scattered across the sink and soaping it,“-The chances of you and I dating just about now is probably way higher than Dowoon…well, at least, I’ve known you for about a year plus right now, and him, 6 months at most.” Wonpil couldn’t help but giggle again at the uncertainty in your voice, and pettily, you stamped your feet on the floor.

“There’s no way my future partner will be someone as mean as you, I take all my words back.” you pouted jokingly, and subsequently, starting to laugh at yourself too-this conversation was going absolutely nowhere.

“Hey, but in all seriousness, I think you should just go. Don’t make them wait too long, after all, one of them is your future boyfriend. I’ll take care of wrapping up.” Wonpil spoke up again, approaching you as he hung the cloth by the arch of the sink, and took the plate from your hand kindly-gesturing for you to wash your hands as he pointed to the tap.

With unmasked gratitude you smiled back at him, washing your hands briefly before taking your phone from the counter, “Thanks again, Pil-ah; and one more freaking thing, before I have to repeat it a second time, there is no way Dowoon is going to be my boyfriend.” you remarked strictly, taking your school bag from the seat close to the door and slinging it over your shoulder excitedly-the events of tonight sounded incredibly fun.

“Thank me by inviting me to your future wedding!” Wonpil screamed in his high pitched voice when you opened the door, with the silvery chime of the bell above it-and this time, you really, really wanted to kick him, because outside, in the cold of the night Jaehyung was literally having the time of his life laughing at you and nodding back to Wonpil in agreement (one of the rare times where he actually sided him).

“Boys suck.” you groaned pettily as Dowoon, with unmistakeable redness on his face gestured for you to get onto the back of his scooter, and Younghyun laughed.

“Doesn’t seem that way with our Dowoonie, am I right?” his unmistakeable fox eyes shot you a small wink, which was sort of annoying-till he yelled smugly, “Good luck on being the first there with extra baggage! Not like anyone ever manages to triumph me anyway.”

With that, Younghyun’s scooter whizzed off, black coat and black locks fluttering behind him care freely, like how his very personality was-and soon, Jaehyung’s scooter whizzed off too, the only thing behind him being his screams of “I’m GONNA BEAT YOU THIS TIME, BRIAN!”, and you couldn’t help but giggle a bit-the antics of those two were always so stupidly humouring.

“Sorry, they can be a bit of a public embarrassment.” Dowoon laughed helplessly, shaking his head, and with a small smile you too shook your head; you were totally fine with them, and you’d even say that having them around was enjoyable. “-Jihyo and Chaewon are actually joining us later, but they weren’t comfortable on the scooter, and we need someone to drive our instruments.”

He paused for a bit to catch his breath, expelling a small puff of white before explaining, “I hope you’re okay with it too-the scooter can feel very unbalanced at first, but I think you can handle it. This sounds incredibly awkward, but you gotta hold onto my waist, or you’ll probably fall off within a second of me accelerating. Alright? Don’t want to be responsible for your medical fees.” Dowoon ended off with a joking crease in his smirk before he tossed you a neon yellow helmet from the basket of the scooter, and you nodded before putting it on.

“Ready to ride?” he suddenly piped up, happiness laced in his deep, comforting voice, and you shot him a thumbs up sign.

“Always ready.” you answered eagerly, and with a louder roar from the engine than before, both of you sped out towards the moon, that lay on the horizon of the shimmering sea.

________________________

“We’re almost here!” he broke into a small gummy smile beneath the mop of his fluttering curls-they seemed to run across the border of his forehead, like running waves crashing beautifully onto the shore of a beach.

“You’d never get anything like this in the city.” you said in slight awe, hands slowly finding themselves crawling up to Dowoon’s broad shoulders as you dared to hoist yourself up, breaking up from your posture a tad bit, and as you felt one of his curls brush past your wrists, he laughed his slow, deep laugh in response.

“You’re cute. I had a friend that didn’t live in Busan as a kid, and he lived in the more country area-he would probably protest if he heard what you just said…” His deep voice trailed off softly, seeming to follow the snaking nature of the concrete road ahead of you. “-Nevertheless, I’m happy we’re here. It’s nice to ride out here with someone.”

His eyes, which had now stopped displaying the light of the sun to catch the glow of the moon, was still as warm as ever in the cold weather. With undeniable faith tinting the light that ringed his eyes, half opened submissively and bringing out the semi rosy tint in his bags, the carefree smile on his lips and the uplift of his cheeks resembling floating clouds didn’t fail to bring you back in awe again; it was as if all laws of astronomy tailed after his presence, and followed in the footsteps of his unbreakable belief.

“You’re really very beautiful.” the words left your lips through an airy whisper, and you were too busy staring at him again to even notice what you said until Dowoon spoke up again.

“U-Um…Me? R-Really? Thanks, I guess…” his eyes bore a different spark to it as they drooped shyly, like a mimosa recoiling at someone’s touch-and as the truth dawned onto you slowly, mixed feelings of embarrassment and self-blame kicked in a little too fast-you really, really wanted to kick yourself for saying that.

Trying to salvage the situation, you quickly spoke up upon seeing his tilted eyebrows and the embarrassment written on his face. “I-I didn’t mean that in a weird way, I’m sorry, not that I don’t love your looks-or not that I don’t love you any less, i-it’s just-” you stuttered awkwardly, brain stupidly failing you at this crucial moment-but being a nice guy, Dowoon just shook his head briefly.

With a small smile breaking onto his face, not fully suggestive; yet not fully chaste, he responded in awe, big eyes widening with more faith than before.

“No, no, please don’t apologise, because…” Dowoon spoke with the smile of reuniting with someone again, overly excited to articulate his words properly, “B-Because, I-”

“Dowoon! What’s taking you so long, can you drive faster? You’re almost there already, hurry up!” Jaehyung’s voice suddenly broke through the world that only both of you shared, halting the climax of the story. He and Younghyun were on a higher end of a cliff, where the destination was, and you could already see their hands waving vigorously in your direction. Jihyo and Chaewon had arrived too-you could see two figures with long hair sit on a big red mat.

“What was that you were going to say?” you asked, as the scooter started to move again; both of you had been so immersed in conversation that you hadn’t even realised that Dowoon stopped the vehicle to talk.

However, contrary to what you thought he was going to say, Dowoon shook his head almost nonchalantly, losing a bit of the faith in his gaze as he looked down with baggy eyes of dejection.

He squeezed his lips into a textbook version of a smile and talked at a slower pace, this time more scarily composed than before. “I-It’s nothing. I don’t know if I’ll have the courage to tell you again.”

The entire trip to the cliff went downhill in a veil of awkward silence, both of you knowing full well in your hearts why such a thing had happened. Wind rocketed past your ears silently, blowing against your ears and hitting against your hair-as if coaxing you to speak, but right now, you didn’t know if you had the courage to say anything to him when you had made him sad.

In less than a minute, the scooter had surfaced up the flatter parts of the cliff, and you decided that this was the best moment to speak up.

“I’m sorry if I made you sad or anything.” you mumbled awkwardly, stepping out of the scooter and nearly losing your balance-having your feet on the ground after 2 whole hours seemed like a foreign concept to your legs right about now.

Dowoon shook a hand at you almost instantly. “You’ve made me more happy than I could ever imagine.” he said unhesitantly, and this time, smiled at you with a more genuine smile. For a second, you could see the faith of the crescent moon resurface back on the ring of his eyes as he continued, “Just have fun tonight, that’s all I ask for.”

You nodded back, returning his smile; and with a new, strangely fluttering feeling in your heart you followed Dowoon to the picnic mat, where Jihyo and Chaewon were sitting, dressed in casual clothing-you felt slightly out of place, decked out in your sloppy, mud-speckled school uniform as you greeted them shyly, sitting yourself onto the mat. But thankfully, the girls initiated conversations well-definitely way better than you did, and within seconds, you hadn’t even realised that Dowoon had slipped away to somewhere else.

“So, how’s life after finals?” Jihyo asked cheerily, or rather, the way she usually talked; it wasn’t rare to see that consistent, bright smile of hers plastered on her doll like face.

You didn’t exactly know how to answer. “I don’t really know. After school today I have that 4 month break that most have, so what happened after your break?” You started to laugh as you realised how you had redirected the topic back to them, and both of them started doing the same.

“Hmm-hahaha-I’d say that college life is still manageable, I’ve been doing it for about 2 months plus.” Jihyo answered, failing to contain her laughter at one point as she squeezed her eyes together endearingly. “Chaewon is entering a polytechnic, so she has about 2 months more to break, same with Dowoon, Jaehyung and Younghyun want to go to a uni, so they’re going to college too, but I don’t know…like. I really don’t know what I want in life yet…”

Her voice trailed off awkwardly, with the fading smear of her chirpy voice, and you couldn’t help but relate. Sure, you had a subject combination and you had did pretty good in finals, but you didn’t have a certain passion you would shirk everything to chase; not like many of the people in your class, who were already able to aim their arrows towards their target.

“It’s okay. I’m sure you’ll find it soon when the time arrives, I’m looking for what I want too.” you said with empathy, and in response Jihyo nodded politely.

“I suppose.”

After a while of staring, you had only come to realise that the mahogany, soft brown shade of his fur was the same colour you saw, inked intricately in the depths of Dowoon’s eyes.

Just then, there was a very coincidental, but hesitant tap on your shoulders.

“Can you come with me?” a low voice spoke up amidst the cooing over the dog, and you looked up, despite already recognising who it was.

This time, his gaze looked a little different; you couldn’t help but feel slightly excited as you noticed the enigmatic sparkle that stood out amidst his gentle, brown eyes, taking his outstretched hand and standing up.

“Yoon Dowoon, I’m warning you, if you don’t bring her back safely, we will tail after you with bats and split your head open.” Jihyo suddenly spoke up with a glint in her big, doll eyes, voice cracking menacingly at the last line-and again, both of you laughed at her antics.

“Don’t worry, I won’t.” he laughed awkwardly, voice faltering at the last line. You couldn’t help but notice that Dowoon’s cheeks were starting to heat up, but quickly ignored it when he gestured at you to follow him.

Contrary to what you thought it would be, the walk to the destination wasn’t very long, unlike earlier on. From the angle of the picnic mat, a loudspeaker in the distance was clearly visible. Next to it were two other figures, Younghyun and Jaehyung-with a bass and electric guitar slung around their chests respectively.

Needlessly to say, you were shocked. “They can play those?” you exclaimed, and with a small nod, Dowoon chuckled gleefully, “Look to your left.”

Without a moment of thought, you turned your head.

Cymbals, glinting on the cusp of its dully golden surface like the rings of Saturn, with two smaller drums and a large bass drum positioned at the bottom-it seemed like you were exaggerating, but…

“Dowoon, you can play that? ” you cried out, faltering a little at the last word, but unlike how you had reacted, he just smiled like it wasn’t that great of a feat to play the drums.

“Not just that, I’m going to play you a song.” he responded triumphantly, as he approached the spinning chair behind it and sat down. A smug smile remained on his face unwaveringly as he bent down to pick up his drumsticks, humming a gentle tune between his lips-and you couldn’t help but smile, wondering if that was the very song they were about to play.

“This is all for you by the way,” Younghyun cut in, a malicious smirk playing on the sides of his lips as you turned to him, “-We have a school recital tomorrow, and we’ve practically practiced this song till we could play it with closed eyes-but our naughty youngest absolutely insisted on playing this instead of anything else, just because of his-”

“OKAY, OKAY, I think that’s about enough.” Dowoon shouted obnoxiously, with a slightly annoyed, slightly red look on his face, and everyone started to laugh.

“Take it away then, drummer boy.” you said enthusiastically, remaining rooted to the ground in anticipation.

You definitely weren’t ready for the moment he started to position those drumsticks of his.

Then, as the melody descended down a few keys, Jaehyung rasped gently into the mic, like the soft blow of the night breeze surrounding you.

Every day I lived like I was dead But you

Became the reason For me to get up Once more You made me wanna open my eyes

In sync with the bass, your heart thumped against your chest-and you stared at Dowoon, who gave you a small smile, before going into a rapid flurry of beats yet again.

Just your smile alone Makes me breathe Because of you, I’m Better better Better baby Only your love Makes the frozen me Start to run again Higher higher Higher baby

I used to never wait for tomorrow But you Became the reason For me to take one more step Not too far ahead You held out your hand to me

Just your smile alone Makes me breathe Because of you, I’m Better better Better baby Only your love Makes the frozen me Start to run again Higher higher Higher baby The bass suddenly made no more sound, and soon, the music stopped with your heart.

“You must be confused now.” Dowoon’s low voice suddenly whispered at a distance awfully near where you were standing, and startling you; yet resonating so comfortingly in your ears while he spoke.

“I-I don’t know, I’m happy-and these words are what I’ve been meaning to say to you for the longest time, you mean a lot to me, and heck, I don’t even know if I could have survived running without you, there’s no way you could have known-”

“These words are the words I want to say to you too.”

“I wanted to drop by your school to visit, but I heard from your friends that you were hurting a lot today, so I didn’t end up going.” he said quietly, now holding up the wrist with the thin, ugly scar zipped across it and kissing it; at that moment, you could barely believe the warmth that was withheld between every fibre in the soft, pillowy surface as Dowoon looked up at you again. “And I don’t want to leave you like that again. Thank you for understanding me with that kind heart of yours, when I could barely have the willpower to train the batch, and bringing me so much happiness.”

He paused for a bit, and as if his voice was a conductor, your breath halted simultaneously-before he opened his mouth again, and eagerly said the words that would change your life forever.

“I want to run with you forever.”

You could barely contain yourself from crying again when the feelings gushed to your head, came raining down from your eyes as tears, and through all your emotions, you nodded vigorously.

“I want to do the same, Dowoon,” you sniffed, barely stabilising yourself as you felt his callused hands land on your shoulders gently, holding you close to his chest, rising and falling in waves-he too, was crying; and you never wanted to leave that place again.

Just your smile alone Makes me breathe Because of you, I’m Better better Better baby Only your love Makes the frozen me Start to run again Higher higher Higher baby

From that day on, both of you ran not only across the running track in your school, but in the race of life, hand in hand-smiles being the breath in each other’s lungs, and love being the reason to keep going.

Only your love could make the me who was stuck run again.

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hehe I really like this story uwu its not the best and its way too long than it should have been but it will hold a special place in my heart!! to the anon that requested this I’m sorry if u expected a short read with a much more light hearted topic to 'cheering you up after a bad day at school’ JHDSJKFHS HAHAHAHA gosh anyway I hope y'all enjoyed this if you even finished it, thanks for your support!! I’m writing this on my birthday so I gotta go sleep now, happy 2019 to everyone!

(looking back and literally the only good thing about this story was the ending what the hecK I did so much unnecessary elaboration LOL)

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lonestorm · 7 years

Text

The Inugami - Chapter 11

Summary: When Kagome Higurashi moved to the bad side of Chicago to help with her grandfather’s restaurant, she expected chaos. Being thrown into a fake gang, caught in the middle of a drug war and grudge that stretches centuries back in time, befriending a grumpy half demon along with a ragtag bunch of three other misfits… wasn’t exactly what she had in mind. High school AU. Inukag.

Rating: T (some language)

Pairings: Inukag, Mirsan

Chapters: Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11

Shorts: 1. Sesshomaru | 2. Miroku

**Also on ff.net here.

Annoyingly and predictably, Inuyasha was grumpily raring to go by morning.

“Gimme outta here,” he grumbled as soon as his eyes cracked open. “Need to find Naraku and give him acupuncture with butcher knives.” But then he gave a gasp and whimper, curling up slightly. “Oh damn, not better…”

“Inuyasha’s awake!” Shippo was cheering, thrusting up his fists and hopping around. Sango was smiling widely, and Kagome pretended not to notice Sango squeeze Miroku’s hand.

“He said you should survive if you make it through the night,” Miroku said tiredly. “He didn’t say you’d be all better.”

“I do not have time to not be better!” Inuyasha hissed, before another groan. “Ugh, what even happened last night? I don’t remember hardly anything…”

Kagome felt heat creep into her cheeks at the thought of his loose mouth last night. “Probably better that way. Now wait so that we can get the doctor in here to check you out.”

“I don’t need a doctor; I need Shippo to tell me what plan he’d come up with!” he barked back. The intensity of the action caused a fit of pained coughing.

Biting her lip, Kagome pushed his bangs from his eyes. “Take it easy, Inuyasha. If you want something, ask for it nicely and calmly, or it’ll hurt. Then again, you should be asking nicely just because it’s the right thing to do.” She shot him a sharp look, under which he backed to the headrest.

“Fine, fine,” he muttered, clutching at his stomach and taking slow breaths. “Shippo-”

The door was thrown open, causing them all to jump. “Is he still awake?” demanded a voice, and Kagome turned to see Sesshomaru striding into the room. He was in his Police Commander’s uniform, hair tied back and glowing eyes sharp.

“Um, yeah,” Kagome stammered, and Inuyasha just gave an irritated glare.

“I don’t have any more info on Naraku since last time we discussed him,” said Inuyasha.

“I know,” Sesshomaru told him stiffly. “The monk keeps me informed.”

“What?! Miroku-!”

“What have the doctors said?” the demon cut them off. “Has the worst passed?”

“They haven’t come in yet,” Sango said, and as she did, the door opened.

The group waited outside as the staff gave Inuyasha a full check up. In this time, Kagome squinted up at the stoic Sesshomaru. “Is that the reason you came? To check on Inuyasha?”

There was a pause. “I do not need to explain my reasons to you, Higurashi-san.”

Finally back to my name! she internally cheered.

Miroku smirked. “No need to get so defensive, Commander Tashio.”

Jaw clenching, Sesshomaru muttered, “To think I’ve been reduced to petty teasing…” After he cleared his throat, he continued, “I need all the information I can get about his condition and Kikyo’s involvement, as the monk had mentioned. There was an emergency at the police station last night, so I was not able to stay and speak to the doctor. And because of said emergency… the Naraku situation, I’m afraid to say, is significantly worse.”

Now that Kagome looked harder, she could make out darker circles under his usually regal face. His eyes were tired, a little bloodshot. He must’ve been up all night.

It was Sango that said, aghast, “Worse? How could it be worse?!”

But the doctor exited the room at this point. With a smile, he delivered, “He’s still in pain, but we gave him another dose of medication. Inuyasha will be just fine; we’re impressed at how he made it through the night. Survivors report nightmares and night terrors along with the pain so that some actually die from fright. Inuyasha doesn’t seem fazed other than the pain--he’s a brave kid. You’ve got a little brother to be proud of, Commander.”

There was a heavy pause. Trying not to smirk, Kagome watched as Sesshomaru was backed into a corner. If he didn’t say he was proud, he would seem like a bad brother in front of the doctor, and he needed to hold the respect of people in the city he protected. On the other hand, he’d admit that he cared.

Finally, he answered coolly, “Yes.” And he swept off into the room. After thanking the doctor, the Inugami followed.

Kagome sat back beside Inuyasha, hoping that he didn’t seem as stoned as yesterday. To her relief, he was resting in a sitting position while grimacing at a bowl of chicken noodle soup. Sesshomaru stood with his arms crossed over his chest, waiting for them to sit down before he told them, “To answer the girl’s question as to how things can get worse, I’ll tell you that I lost thirty officers last night.”

Even Inuyasha’s jaw dropped. “Lost?” choked Shippo. “You mean…?”

“Fifteen were murdered, and the other fifteen were traitors that led them to their death at the hands of Spiders,” Sesshomaru said, his voice lower than usual. Which was somehow even more terrifying than usual. “Thirty is nearly half of my officers. The rest are working themselves overtime taking care of the usual crimes, and many officers that were lost were detectives or specialized in organized crime.”

“How the hell did that happen? And all in one night?” Inuyasha demanded.

“I left yesterday and went directly to the station.” A hesitation. “I gathered up my officers for an emergency briefing and began demanding the traitors to turn themselves in. I hadn’t before because I knew a backlash would come from Naraku in some way, but… I didn’t care last night.”

Kagome heard the words left unspoken: I was angry because they hurt my brother.

And judging from Inuyasha’s wide eyes, he heard them too.

“When that happened, we suddenly started getting calls of Spider attacks throughout the city. My officers left in pairs to the scenes, all in very spread out parts of the city, and, well, it turns out they were the targets. The traitors revealed themselves by assisting in the murders, or at least, so it seems.” Sesshomaru sounded so tired as he dragged a clawed hand down his face. “Naraku was just waiting for me to confront the dirty police. I should have known. He’s gotten very bold since Higurashi-san unleashed her spiritual powers on him.”

Inuyasha put on a grim face, trying to hide his wince as he sat up straighter. “We have to act now, before he makes his next move. We’ve lost too many officers now for much support from the police; Shippo, we need to hear whatever plan you came up with.”

Shippo shied away slightly, especially under the cold stare of Sesshomaru and the intensity of the other Inugami. Kagome gave him an encouraging smile. “It’s okay if the plan isn’t perfect, Shippo. We’d just like to hear whatever ideas you have; you’re very smart.”

That did the trick. He brightened, clearing his throat and saying, “Inuyasha said something earlier about asking nicely for their location, and when I thought about it, I realized that’s exactly what we have to do.”

“Meaning?” prompted Inuyasha impatiently.

“Meaning one of us would have to go in disguise to get their attention and talk to one of them, pretend that they want to join the gang,” Shippo went on, leaning forward and gesturing with his hands. “We’d have to disguise their scent as someone else in case other demon Spiders are around, but we could pull it off.”

Shaking his head and crossing his arms, Miroku pointed out, “The Spider would surely make them take a dose of Shikon to prove that they’re serious about joining.”

“Of course,” Shippo said. “And that’s why the person undercover would have to be Kagome.”

A pause.

“No,” Inuyasha blurted. “Absolutely not.”

Kagome fidgeted, nerves fluttering in her gut. “W-well… he’s right, Inuyasha. I’m the only one that’s immune. And less of the demon Spiders know even my original scent than they know the scent of the rest of you.”

“Too dangerous,” said Inuyasha, finally taking sips of his soup. “Out of the question.”

“You need to have more faith in her!” Shippo scolded. Kagome smirked; Shippo had Inuyasha trapped.

At this, Inuyasha choked on his soup. “I-I do have faith in her! I have more faith in Kagome than anyone else in the world!”

“Aww,” Sango and Miroku cooed, and Inuyasha chucked a balled-up napkin at them.

“Then why don’t you think she can do this?” responded Shippo, trying to hide a grin.

“Of course she could! But it’s dangerous! We’d need more backup to keep an eye on her, and a good location to do so!”

“Easy,” he said, shrugging. “Gehenna. All gangs go there peacefully, and so they won’t notice us patrolling. Kagome can wear a wig, some colored contacts. Also, apparently she can dance, so if she does it sexy enough-”

“My gosh,” Kagome muttered, putting her face in her hands.

“-then she should have no trouble getting the attention of a Spider guy, because she’s so pretty too,” the fox demon finished, nonchalant.

“Even if I was willing to consider having Kagome used as bait for sick guys to drool and fantasize over,” Inuyasha growled, “We still don’t have a way to hide her scent or enough backup to protect her in case things go to shit. And things always go to shit.”

“Also easy,” Shippo said. “But you won’t like it.”

“I already hate all of it. It could hardly be worse.”

“Since we don’t have enough police anymore,” stated Shippo. “We’ll have to go with the Wolves.”

“Somehow, you made it worse. What talent!”

Putting a hand on his arm, Kagome suggested gently, “Let’s just hear him out, Inuyasha.”

Before he could protest more, Shippo went on earnestly, “Koga is passionate about protecting Kagome and defeating Naraku. I know you don’t like it, but it could be used to our advantage! We could negotiate a temporary alliance and get him to go along with it. Also, we could use the brute force and numbers of the Wolves to take down the hideout once we find out where it is. Also, they could disguise her scent so that she smells like a Wolf, which would still be plausible for her to be at the club and wanting to join a new gang.”

“Okay, first of all in this plan’s terrible flaws-” Inuyasha began with a hiss, but Sesshomaru interrupted. “It’s a logical plan,” he admitted. “The best we can come up with under the circumstances. I say do it.”

“I agree,” Miroku said, lifting his hands diplomatically. “Covers all the bases. Good job, Shippo.”

Sango nodded. “Likewise here. But only if Kagome is okay with it.”

“I’ll do it,” Kagome sighed. “Like Sango said, we need to finish this, and I certainly don’t have any better ideas.”

“Doesn’t anyone want to hear if I agree?” fumed Inuyasha.

“Not really.”

“Ha. No.”

“We know you don’t. Eat your soup.”

“Don’t care.”

“You disagree with everything that isn’t said by you.”

Ignoring them, Inuyasha began counting off on his fingers. “I will not be able to stand Kagome smelling like a mangy wolf, I will not ask for help from that wild, psycho asshole, I don’t trust anything Spiders will tell her, Kagome shouldn’t be objectified by a bunch of douchebags for our plan, and we don’t know if her immunity is only a temporary thing.”

Shippo mimicked his motions. “Suck it up, suck it up, we have no better options, if Kagome can deal with it, so can you, and Naraku, the creator of the drug, seems to think it is. If Kagome is willing to take the risk, you should trust her to do so.”

“I have a terrible feeling about this,” Inuyasha warned.

Miroku’s eyebrows raised, “Are you saying that you’re unable to protect her?”

“Of course I can protect her!”

“Then stop worrying and focus on resting so that you can get better and we can end this,” Sango finished for him.

He looked like he wanted to argue further, but another wave of coughing and swearing overtook him. Everyone in the room took a step towards him at once.

“Why isn’t the medication helping?” Sesshomaru seethed, marching over to the IV station. “Doctor!”

“It’s fine,” Inuyasha muttered. “Morphine is addictive too, right? They probably don’t wanna overdo it.”

“And they wouldn’t want to give as much as they did last night,” sniggered Shippo.

Inuyasha frowned. “What?”

Kagome turned his face down to the tray over his legs. “Eat your soup.”

“So you know where the Wolf hideout is?” Kagome asked. She held her arms to ward off the chill of the spring air as the Inugami made their way down a road she hadn’t seen before.

Almost as if it were a subconscious action, Inuyasha took off his jacket and put it over her shoulders. “It’s pretty common knowledge. It doesn’t matter if people know; Naraku knows he has no chance of taking the Den.”

Kagome eyed him from the side warily. He’d been released from the hospital a week and a half ago, and didn’t seem to being showing any signs of pain. But she also knew he would be good at hiding it. Putting her arms through the leather jacket’s sleeves, she kicked at a stray rock with her boot. “Why can’t he?”

Miroku answered, “Naraku has always envied the loyalty and raw power the Wolves have; almost all of them are wolf demons, and anyone else is a spouse, significant other, adoptive sibling or child of a wolf demon. Since Wolves don’t cause much trouble for the police, Sesshomaru leaves them be, and they guard their Den zealously, night and day. It’s a fortress death trap to a Spider.”

“O-or us?” Shippo said nervously, eyes flickering around the wooded area. It was strange, right in the middle of the city.

“We have Kagome,” Miroku countered. “Koga wouldn’t bother to harm us. He probably already knows we’re here. All of this random wooded area is his most protected territory.”

“Yes, what is with the random woods?” wondered Kagome aloud.

Sango shrugged. “Makes them feel more at home, I suppose. Koga legally owns all of this, so he turned it into woods. He’s loaded, if you couldn’t tell, from being their Alpha and all for such a long time.”

“I see. And, um, Miroku, what did you mean by he probably already knows we’re here?” The ominous phrase had echoed in her mind.

His dark eyes glanced about them. “He has eyes all over the woods; not just the Den. The fact that we haven’t been stopped is a good sign.”

Inuyasha lifted his head and gave a sniff. “Right up here, around this treeline.”

Sure enough, as they turned the corner, the Den came into sight down a worn, gravel path. Kagome’s hand flew to her mouth; it was beautiful.

The land sloped upward until it had formed a cliff, out of which had been carved winding turrets. Kagome could see more towers and a roof that rose nearly sixty meters up, and the front door was a waterfall that emptied into a glistening pool.

“It’s gorgeous!” Kagome exclaimed. She’d expected a beat up house, but this…

“Don’t go gettin’ too excited,” muttered Inuyasha, upper lip twitching like it did when he was pissed.

Kagome rolled her eyes. “Well, I’m not saying I’d like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely.”

There were little wolf demons splashing in the crystal pond, laughing and growling and wrestling on the shore. A pair of parents watched them as they shared some drinks and a rather raw-looking rotisserie chicken.

They made their way to the edge of the pool, where there was a rustle in nearby trees before Ginta and Hakkaku appeared, offering friendly grins.

“Hello, sister!” greeted Ginta. “You’ve never come to visit before; good to see ya!”

“Sister?” Inuyasha hissed. She ignored him.

“Nice to see you too, Ginta, Hakkaku. I was wondering if we could speak with Koga today. We have a proposition for him that we think he’ll want to hear.”

“Yeah, we already asked him if you guys could come in,” Hakkaku told her, waving a hand. “He said sure, but all weapons need to be left out here, and quote: ‘the mutt will have to try to be nicer to me.’”

“And he’ll have to freeze over hell for me,” muttered Inuyasha in response, but he took the empty gun from his holster and threw it to the side along with the dagger in his boot. Kagome abandoned her switchblade, and Miroku and Shippo shrugged. They didn’t have anything.

Sango, on the other hand, somehow produced two daggers, six switchblades, a bladed boomerang, a tazer, a stun gun, two handguns, a pocket knife, and a container of pepper spray before she was finished.

The two Wolves led them right to the pool, where a mossy pathway met the rocks to the side of the waterfall. Kagome smiled at the roar of the water, the droplets that sprayed her side as they ducked in the side of the falls. After walking through the narrow cave passage, the group spilled into a room that resembled a cathedral, if cathedrals were carved from solid rock and underground. The dome at the top opened to the sky. Under the dome was a clear, circular pool of what must be rainwater that fell through the ceiling. Spiraling columns stretched up and lined the uneven floor of scattered slabs of stone, where Wolves sat and played and laughed on cushions. A little cafe with sandwiches, drinks, and ice cream was immediately at her left with tables spread about. When Kagome turned, she could see television screens occupying the walls on the right side; one group of Wolves were watching Twilight and moaning about wolf misrepresentation, another shouting at a soccer game, and the third group were some wolf demon children avidly exclaiming over what looked like Voltron: Legendary Defender. Bookshelves lined the wall on the left, stationed in between more cave passageways where she could see stairways leading down into the unknown.

“The doors on the sides lead off to residential areas and bathhouse,” Ginta told them vaguely. “This is just where we chill. Aaaaand… where Koga usually stays! Hey there, boss!”

They’d reached the back of the room, where a stone throne sat atop some steps, cushioned with blue and silver. Koga lounged there, tapping at a laptop until he heard his name called and looked up. His hair down today, and it messily spread down to his back. His headband kept most of it out of his face, but some strands managed to drift across it from the breeze that wafted in from the roof. Other than that, Koga just wore blue jeans, and a loose, gray tank top. Kagome hadn’t noticed before, but there was a tattoo on his left bicep: An alpha symbol over a the face of a wolf and the kanji symbol for “wolf.”

A grin stretched on his face, and he put his computer aside. “My dear Kagome has come for a visit! I knew you would get tired of the mutt, eventually.”

“Shut your trap before I do it for you in most excruciating ways,” was Inuyasha’s response.

Kagome’s jaw clenched. “It’s okay, Inuyasha. He’s just trying to annoy you.” She spoke up louder. “Hello, Koga-kun. We have come to make an offer to you.”

His dark, thin eyebrows raised. “Oh? Well, anything my woman has to say shall be cherished by me. Would you like a tour of my most humble abode, first? This Den was carved out by my pack’s own claws in 1912. I could even show you the Alpha suite.”

“I. Want. To. Break. Everything. I. See,” Inuyasha hissed under his breath.

“Even me?” Kagome whispered back, to which he snapped out of his growling and shook his head in horror. She hid a laugh and turned back to Koga. “That’s very generous of you, Koga, but I think you’ll want to hear this as soon as possible. It’s about Naraku.”

That sobered him up. “Have you found his location?”

“No, but we know how to get it,” boasted Inuyasha, crossing his arms over his chest and tilting up his chin. Kagome rolled her eyes; as if it were his idea.

Koga’s startlingly blue eyes lazily slid to Inuyasha in distaste. “Mutt. You’re lucky I even let you in here; I did it for Kagome, and she is the only one of you who will speak to me, got it? This is my castle, my rules.”

Inuyasha started forward, snapping out, “Castle? You mean this rockslide dump?” But Kagome grabbed the back of his collar and tugged him back.

Shooting Koga a withering glare, Kagome was struck by a hot anger that declared, “Inuyasha is my friend and deserves your respect. You will call him by his name and you will allow him to speak, along with the rest of my friends, even if it’s for my sake, or you will not be involved in getting your revenge for your pack on Naraku. Are we clear?”

Koga just blinked, slumping back into his seat. “Wow. That was a real turn on, not gonna lie.”

“Koga.”

“I’ll agree to your terms for the time being,” he sighed. “But you humans had better keep him on a leash.” Kagome rolled her eyes, figuring that this was about as good as it would get.

“Turn on,” Inuyasha muttered, seething and scuffing his boots against the stone ground, “-dare he talk that way ‘bout her… I’ll turn on a meat grinder… shove him down balls first…” “Ew,” Sango whispered.

“So Koga, Shippo here came up with a plan that should get us the information we need,” began Kagome.

Koga’s smirk was trying at her patience. “And let me guess… the knitting club needs me to pull it off. My pack.” He let out laugh, kicking back so that his head rested on the right arm of the chair and his feet swung back and forth out the other side. He tugged lazily at the end of his tail. “Hmm… Inuyasha needs my help…I could consider it. For my dear woman, of course. But first, tell me about this plan. I can assure you, my airtight Den is safe to discuss such top secret information. And very safe and comfortable to live in. And get married in; we have this lovely aisle down the middle and I could build a second throne for you right here. I could provide for you,” his eyes flicked to Inuyasha with mirth, and back to Kagome with intent hunger, “so easily and in any way you desire. You’d be a queen.”

“Five seconds from tearing his tail off,” Inuyasha warned stiffly.

Miroku murmured to him, “Remember what we talked about… count to ten, breathe…”

“No death. No violence. Just flowers. Puppies. Kagome in that red dress you drool over,” Shippo listed, and Kagome wasn’t sure if he was actually trying to help or not. Sure enough, Inuyasha was now blushing on top of seething, so Kagome quickly cut in and began to describe the plan.

“-and when we get the location, we can leave and head on off to bust Naraku,” finished Kagome after a few minutes of explaining.

Koga was sitting upright in his throne now, eyes narrowed in thought. “Well, that sounds like the best chance we got. And you definitely wouldn’t be safe enough without coming to me for help, or have enough brute force.”

“Yeah okay, will you join us or not?” snapped Inuyasha.

At this, the Alpha leaned forward. “What’s in it for me?”

“Isn’t your revenge enough?” Sango pointed out. “And helping to keep Kagome safe.”

“Yeah, that’s nice,” admitted Koga, “But I need something more.”

With a weary sigh, Miroku asked, “What do you want, Koga?”

“Just Kagome.”

Inuyasha grabbed her arm and began to pull back the way they’d came, dragging her along. “Nope. That’s it. Bye. We need to leave before I slit his throat.”

“Why is that what everyone wants?” groaned Shippo. “One purpose of this plan is to get people to leave Kagome alone!”

Digging her heels into the rock, Kagome, tugged back on Inuyasha. “Wait! Let’s rethink this. Maybe we can come up with a compromise.”

“Kagome is right. We’ve come this far,” Miroku reasoned.

Inuyasha stomped back over to Miroku and grabbed his ear. “Whatchu say?!”

“We need this, Inuyasha,” Miroku whispered heatedly, trying to smack Inuyasha’s hand away. “We can’t fight Naraku’s might on our own!”

“Yes we can!”

Finally pulling free of Inuyasha, Miroku held a hand to his chest. “No. It’s irrational. It’s impossible. It’s against my religion.”

“Miroku!”

“What exactly do you want from Kagome, Koga?” tried Miroku, turning back to the Wolf leader.

He smirked. “For her to join my pack, of course. I need a strong woman and she’s my type. She has spiritual powers that are stronger than any mere female demon; any child we had would be a very worthy heir.”

“Whoa, what?” Kagome squeaked, stumbling back and gripping Inuyasha’s arm.

Miroku held a hand up to silence Inuyasha, who had started to growl ferally. “While I personally understand the great need to have a strong woman that will bear you children-”

“Miroku!” Sango hissed.

“-I’m afraid Kagome is spoken for. I’m sure there are plenty of strong wolf demon women that would be willing to accept your proposition. Perhaps there’s something we can do that will solve a different problem you have?”

Slowly, Koga stroked his chin and considered. “Well, I take care of my pack’s own problems. But maybe if Inutrasha admitted that wolves are better than dogs and I’m stronger than him and Kagome went on a date with me, I’d consider it.”

“Not as dumb as he looks,” Shippo said quietly, seemingly impressed. “Giving us a high price first so that this one doesn’t seem so bad.”

“He’s also mentally five years old,” added Sango. “Wolves are better than dogs? Seriously?”

Inuyasha listed off of his fingers as he articulated, “First of all, no. Second of all, no. Third of all, hell no. Forth, go fuck yourself.”

“Inuyasha,” stressed Kagome, “we should just take it right there, before he makes it worse.”

“I will not leave you alone with that bastard who thinks he owns you, Kagome.” His amber eyes blazed. “Also, wolves are jackasses and I’m way more badass.”

She rolled her eyes, but admitted to herself that he had a point; she did not want to be left alone for long with Koga. He thought he had some sort of right to her, and that was a dangerous thought.

“How about,” ventured Kagome, “Inuyasha says those things and I’ll give you a hug?”

Koga’s mouth twitched. “Hmm. Make it a kiss and you’ve got a deal.”

“You are such a creep!” Inuyasha shouted at the same time Kagome said, “I’ll do it.”

“What?” said Inuyasha in a strangled voice. “Wh-what do you mean you’ll do it?!”

Koga was grinning. “Let me tell my Betas to prepare the pack for tonight, and I expect your end of the bargain when I get back.”

And with a flash of blue and silver, he was gone down a cave tunnel by his throne.

The Inugami rounded on her.

“How could you agree to that?” Inuyasha demanded.

Miroku put up his hands diplomatically. “Much better than becoming his wife. Well done, Kagome.”

“Yuck,” muttered Shippo.

“Are you sure about this, Kagome?” Sango asked tentatively. “You don’t have to do that. It’s rather violating; we can find another way.”

“It’s no big deal,” Kagome laughed nervously. “There isn’t a better way, and we have to stop Naraku as quickly as possible. This is a small price to pay. Though I wish… I mean…” Kagome felt heat rise up her face. “I just wish my first didn’t have to be like this.”

Miroku blinked. “First?” “Oh Kagome.” Sango grimaced. “That is a crappy first kiss.”

“Well, it could be worse,” Kagome reasoned weakly. “I’m doing it for a good cause, even if I wish my first wasn’t Koga-”

“It won’t be with Koga,” interrupted Inuyasha.

“Huh?”

“It won’t be with him,” he repeated, bright eyes meeting hers in determination. Before Kagome could ask what he meant by that, Inuyasha pulled her flush to him and suddenly he was kissing her. Arms around her impossibly tight, sliding up her back in a way that made her knees weak. And she was kissing him back, fingers sifting through his hair and running along his sharp jaw, and his mouth was soft and warm and he was so strong and every inch of her was on fire and he kissed her again, and then again-

And he gently broke away, setting his forehead against hers and letting his arms loosen. Kagome clutched the front of his jacket, trying to get a full thought in her mind to form, but everything was buzzing as if drunk. She was surprised when she managed to process him murmur, “There. Your first was me.”

Kagome stared at him, right into his hazy eyes of liquid gold, caught between the desires to scream, pass out, or kiss him again.

Fifteen minutes later, the debt was paid to the Wolves and the Inugami was walking quickly away from the Den. It would have taken less time, but Inuyasha had needed about ten tries before he managed to grumble out, as if it were physically painful, “Wolves… better than… dogs. You...Koga, more… strong..than...me.”

Luckily, Kagome’s payment to Koga hadn’t taken as long.

While the boys walked on up ahead, Shippo and Miroku discussing strategy while Inuyasha sniffed the air in front of them, Sango leaned over to Kagome. “So… how was it? With Koga? How bad?”

Biting her lip, Kagome gave a small shrug. “Oh, it wasn’t that bad. I mean, I wasn’t real happy about it, but he was a good kisser.” Then Kagome moved closer to Sango and whispered, “But… he’s got absolutely nothing on Inuyasha.”

Though Kagome had tried to be quiet in saying so, she noticed Inuyasha’s ear flick back to face the front, as if it had been pointed at her. The moment after, she heard Miroku say, “What are you looking so smug about, Inuyasha?”

#the inugami #inuyasha #inuyasha fanfiction #inukag #inukag fanfiction #kagome higurashi #my writing #my fanfiction

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