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theladylovingcrow · 4 years

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New Places, Friendly Faces Part 3 (Sanny)

https://theladylovingcrow.tumblr.com/post/189298208331/new-places-friendly-faces-part-2-sanny

Author (As known on Various sites): Lady Lover- Rockfic, Luluthechoosingcrow - AO3, theladylovingcrow - Deviantart and Wattpad, @sammy_bluebells - Instagram, @imacrowcawcaw - main Tumblr, @theladylovingcrow - writing/art Tumblr, @insannywestan - Sanny shipping Tumblr

Fandom: Greta Van Fleet

Pairing: Sam Kiszka/Danny Wagner (Sanny), lil bit of Danny/Ronnie but he's quickly swept away with Sam

Length: about 2.3k

Warnings/Tags: Alternate Universe, Diner AU, No band AU, fluff, some angst, awkwardness, first dates, you know the ones where person A's date is failing and person B comes and sits with them, sorry i forgot what its called but that, hand holding, flirting, Sanny

Summary: Danny was nervous; he had been building up the courage for *weeks* to arrange a date, and now.... He wasn't quite sure what to think of the situation he found himself in. The night certainly wasn't going as he had expected it to - and his emotions had never ridden a roller coaster this fast. Hell, the beautiful angel holding his hand wasn't even the one he had arranged to meet 2 hours ago.

Author's Notes: Yep! I've officially adopted an every Monday post schedule for this, so that's cool! Just an fyi about the ending of this chapter, I'm so sorry to disappoint of you're hoping for a magical portal but that's not it (that wpuld have been cool but this is a mundane story)

https://theladylovingcrow.tumblr.com/post/189298208331/new-places-friendly-faces-part-2-sanny

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"Right... well, I'm officially off duty once I ring you up, so why don't you two get out of here and have some fun."

Danny fished into his pocket one handed, finding his wallet. He tried to open it and get a ten out while still holding on to Sam, but it was pretty difficult so he was forced to let go in order to pay. He thought it was a little overly dramatic of his heart, but it literally stopped beating out of disappointment for a second. God. He was already completely whipped.

Sam stood up and grabbed the keys, going back to his other table to put on his coat while Danny got his change back from Ronnie. She, now sitting at the table with her other brothers, waved them goodbye as they exited the cozy diner, stepping out into the frigid snow.

Sam immediately grabbed Danny's hand back, putting both of them in his pocket as he started to walk around the back of the building to the employee's section of the parking lot.

Sam suddenly stopped, turning to look at Danny. "Shit, wait, how did you come here? Do you have a car?"

"Uhh, my mom dropped me off."

Sam nodded and kept walking. Danny, for some reason, didn't want to leave it at that - Sam didn't seem overly judgemental, but he wanted to show that he wasn't a completely helpless dork.

"Usually I get her car on the weekends," he continued, "but she had some thing to attend over in North Star and she couldn't get a ride. She brought me here and gave me money for the bus to take home."

"Hey, well, now you don't have to take the bus!"

Sam grinned at him, unlocking the door to his sister's car and opening it for Danny. He smiled to himself and ducked his head, getting in. Fuck whatever societal expectations - not like they really applied to gay couples anyways - he loved to be treated sweetly, too.

Starting the ignition and carefully backing out of the parking space, Sam laughed, loud and happy. Danny looked at him curiously.

"Oh my god, I just picked up a total hottie and we're going on a rendezvous in my sister's car! This is crazy!"

Danny laughed, too, amazed at the situation. Like, holy shit, he was in this guy's (sister's) car that he had met less than an hour ago and they were on their way to who knew where. And he didn't even care! Never in his life had Danny been less concerned about the future; his music, his golfing, school, the world at large, none of it mattered when Sam was sitting next to him, singing along to Jimi Hendrix and looking absolutely stunning in the passing lamplight.

They drove for a time, speeding past cozy houses and dense acres of trees that outlined the starlit sky. Sam didn't seem to have a destination in mind any time soon, and Danny didn't really care if the car never stopped driving. The radio started to fuzz out as the got further into the woods, and nothing but an old talk show was coming in, so Sam had Danny put in his Clapton CD he'd left in Ronnie's car.

"I was looking for that! Figured I'd left it in here, but I don't get the car as often now that she's working more."

Danny nodded, enjoying hearing these little bits about Sam's siblings. It always interested him - learning small facts about people and getting glimpses into their lives, even more so when he was very interested in that person themselves, too.

"So, Ronnie is older than you, right?"

"Yeah, yeah she's a year older than me, she just started taking some classes at the adult school in Saginaw. She's been working at Gerald's for awhile, but she gets adult hours, now, which is good because we like to stay out late and go see her," Sam laughed.

"Oh, that's cool. What about your brothers, the twins? Are they your only other siblings?"

"Yes, fortunately. I don't know how Mom and Dad handled us, we're all within three years of each other. What about you, are you an only child?"

Danny had been right, they were all close in age. Four kids, two of them twins! He still couldn't wrap his head around how that could possibly work out for the parents, but they all seemed to be nice people and clearly got along well. It was pretty nice, actually, having a (potential) boyfriend with a good relationship with his family - Danny knew that it might of been a slightly unfair dating requirement, but he wanted someone who loved their family as much as he did.

"I have a younger sister, she's a freshman at Frankenmuth High. I'm a senior, by the way."

"Wait, what? Me too! I wonder why I've never seen you if we go to the same school. How have I never noticed you before?" Sam exclaimed, making a sharp turn and pulling off of the paved road onto a dirt track.

Danny contemplated that, too. How one Earth had he never seen Sam if they went to the same fucking school? Sam was, like, *magnetic* or something, it didn't make any sense.

Sam interrupted him, not meaning to, as he was about to speak. "Alright, we're here. Sorry, continue," he grinned at Danny, looking sheepish at cutting him off. Danny smiled in return, telling him it was alright.

They got out of the car, shutting the doors gently so as not to disturb the peaceful nighttime forest, and also not to dent Ronnie's car.

Danny resumed what he was saying as Sam led him around to the trunk and started rooting around. "About not seeing me at school, well, you didn't have a reason to until now. I mean, it's not like a lot of people know me, I don't have many friends and I kinda tend to stay to the side."

"I can't imagine how you don't have tons of people hanging off of you," Sam said, looking up at Danny with his foxy eyes glinting in the moonlight. (That was cheesy, Danny knew - but his eyes were beautiful) "Like, the only explanation I can come up with as to why you don't have half of the school constantly begging you to notice *them* is because everyone is crazy."

He blushed and grinned, enjoying the feeling of being the one flirted with for once. It was beyond comprehensible for Danny as to why Sam seemed so taken by *him*, but it wasn't something he wanted to give up anytime soon if he could help it, confusion or not.

"Wow, you are a smooth talker, aren't you?"

Sam snorted. "Hardly. I'm telling you what I honestly think, and it's this: I've known you for maybe two hours, and you are the kindest, sweetest, smartest, most beautiful person I've ever met. Past maybe my mother, but that's different. You deserve all the friends in the world, and you could have any boy or girl you choose, I'm sure."

"Well, I'm choosing you," Danny said, blushing and grabbing Sam's hand. He didn't know what it was, but he was being particularly mushy today. Luckily, Sam seemed to really like it.

Sam led him away from the car after locking it up, one arm carrying a briefcase looking container, and the other's hand holding Danny's. They walked through the light snowfall and under heavy bows of trees, going along a path Danny couldn't see but that, apparently, Sam knew well.

Danny had the quick thought that Sam was going to murder him, and maybe he shouldn't ignore his survival instincts, but he decided that Sam would *never* kill him. He also asked, though, just to be sure.

"Are you planning on killing me out here?"

Sam laughed his donkey bray, swinging their hands and taking another slight turn around a large tree. "No, I don't think I'd be able to physically overpower you, you're probably way stronger than I am."

"Oh, yeah? But what about a gun? What's in the box, Sammy?"

Danny was grinning inside, though externally he blocked it so that his facade wouldn't slip. Sam stopped and stood in front of him.

"I'll show you what's in the box!" Sam said, holding it up in front of his crotch like that SNL sketch.

"Ooh, my favorite!" Danny wiggled his brows, staring at the box where, right behind it, was Sam's dick. They both laughed, faces rosy and eyes crinkled.

Danny was glad that he had chosen Sam over Ronnie, not only for the fact that Sam actually liked him back, but that he got along so well with him. Even if the romance was a bust, he could tell that they would be very good friends, the connection was that immediate. And, he liked the idea of being best friends with a guy and then also getting to fuck his brains out at the end of the day.

'I'm getting ahead of myself, he said he has standards.'

'*No*, he said that he won't fuck you in his sister's car, but he wants to.'

"Sam, dude, where are we going? What are we doing out here, like, really?" He choked out, dying to know and also hoping that the plans included at least a kiss.

Danny hadn't been this desperate to kiss someone in- possibly forever, really. He didn't know why he was so intent on getting Sam's lips on him (though, he supposed he did: like, *look* at Sam's mouth). It wasn't like himself to be this out of control - albeit on his own head - but Sam had this effect on him.

Logically, Danny knew that if Sam wanted to go slower he would totally respect that choice and not even be put out about it, he liked just being with Sam that much. But, a kiss.... He wanted just a taste, in case this was the only date he got to have with Sam.

"We're almost there, and then I'll show you," Sam said quietly.

They continued walking, going up a gentle slope and then around a giant boulder. When they came around the other side, Danny saw that the rock had been obscuring a pristinely white, snow covered clearing. All around them, flakes fell softly from the sky, some decorating the trees, and others landing on their heads.

Sam turned to look at him, grinning. "Isn't it pretty? I feel like, whenever I come here, I've entered another dimension or something."

Danny nodded, his breath nearly taken away by the delicate magic of the moment. Well, it wasn't completely perfect - his nose was running, his gloveless hands were both freezing and clammy in Sam's, and he had no fucking clue where he was - but Sam was so, so beautiful in this place he had brought them to.

They stood and stared at the scene, taking in everything, from the stars peaking out from in between the clouds to the feel of their thumbs rubbing back and forth over each other's knuckles.

After a few minutes of silence, Sam broke it, speaking softly, "This is one of my favorite places on Earth to be. We come here during all seasons, but there's just something more.... *special*, I guess, when everything is pure and damp and quiet."

"It's really nice, I can see why you like to bring people here."

"Actually," Sam paused, looking shyly at Danny, "I've never taken anyone else. As far as I can tell, my family are the only people who know about it."

"Really? I- thank you so much for bringing me to such a special spot for you," he gasped, grinning back at Sam's little smile.

Danny was floored, absolutely amazed with this moment in his life. Sam had, for reasons he couldn't understand but figured he'd better stop worrying about, taken him to a place that no one else had been to. It was an intimate, deeply trusting gesture that he'd made, and Danny received it full-heartedly. The scenery felt sacred, now, in a way that he couldn't quite describe but that filled him with content.

"This really does mean a lot, that you're letting me view your spot. I don't know how to say thank you enough for trusting me with this- can I, maybe, take you somewhere special to me next time?"

He was shooting his shot, and praying to whatever deity felt nearest in this winter forest that it would hit it's mark. Sam had decided to take him here right after meeting him, so it *would* work, right? Danny really fucking hoped that it did, and that he hadn't ruined the relationship they were building. It was newly born and a little confusing, but in a good way; they were already fused together somehow, a connection running through them to make it seem like they'd known each other for years instead if hours.

"I'll go anywhere you wanna take me," Sam answered. He looked aware of how cliche what hed said was, but he also didnt seem to care. Damny was internally screaming with joy. "I wasn't sure where I was driving, at first, but I ended up on the path here, and it felt right. You being here feels nice and right."

Danny was smiling openly, happiness on display. He swung their hands and looked up at the sky, where the snow clouds where starting to clear, the last of the flakes finishing their journey to the ground. Sam leaned into him slightly, a pleasurable warmth permeating into Danny's body through the many layers of their clothing.

"This is perfect! I was hoping the clouds would clear up, cause this wouldnt really be much fun without it. Now, c'mon, let me show you the inside."

Danny was completely confused, again. "The inside?"

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@satans-helper @okietrish @karrotkate @lazingonsunday @lantern-inthenight @ryetheruler @oblvions @bigthighsandstupidguys @mountainofthesunn

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steamishot · 5 years

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Mid-May

It’s a little slow at work today and I’m planning on sneaking out early. I think I’m PMSing again. Lately, I’ve been a little overly fascinated by pretty girls on IG/IG influencers and models. Before, I would follow just one group of influencers but now I see so many young, wannabe or rising models on the explorer page. I’m starting to feel old. When I was younger and I heard people just a few years older me call themselves “ancient”, I found it laughable, but I kinda understand what they mean now. Our skin won’t ever be as taut, our minds never as innocent. Our lives as carefree. I think about what I have to offer in my relationship and feel like my partner can do better than me. It’s not good to feel inferior, as that will breed insecurity and damage the relationship, but I do ask myself, when is he gonna stop being a dumbass and realize that? Or can I trick him long enough to trap him? Lol. I learned something new about the culture in china recently. Traditionally, women in marriages are left to manage the household income. The husband would direct deposit his income into the account that she manages. She would give him an allowance/stipend for his basic needs. The idea is that women have best interest in mind for her family, and if guys have too much spending power, he has a higher chance of committing adultery. Women make the initial investment of giving her youth and fertility to the man, and men make the later investment of finances.

Last Thursday, my old boss came into my office at 4:55pm and asked us for the HR director’s cell phone number. It took me by surprise because it was the first time I saw her in our room. I glanced over and she was surprisingly very friendly with me. Her face was notably red. She commented on how my hair got longer, asked me about my job and my recent trip to Japan. I was in a good mood so I was fine seeing her and was proud of her for not brushing me off. It was the first actual conversation we had since I left a year ago. When I left the office at 5:00pm, she was standing out in the hallway just waiting for some reason. Following that incident, I learned that she was going through personal issues. This past Tuesday, I received news that she was admitted to the ER. My work friends were speculating and thought that she might be schizophrenic. They saw her just standing in the hallways blankly staring into space. She had a history of talking and laughing to herself. Before she was admitted to the ER, she dropped the items in her hand while walking and started to shake. Faculty (and the chief) in her division had to come upstairs to HR to seek counseling help for her. I don’t imagine that faculty helping out the admins happens like that often. After more speculation, it just seems like she had a nervous breakdown. Not sure why exactly, but I think it’s because of her demented and aging father (parents live in Missouri).

At age 45, she still depended on her parents to give her money to buy a new iphone. She still expected Christmas presents or birthday presents… and for them to pay for her plane ticket whenever she visited them in Missouri. I told my mom about this and she said that perhaps she’s very financially dependent on her father. If he falls, she falls too. My mom has always been extremely forgiving towards this boss of mine. I think she is grateful for her mainly because she allowed me a job at UCLA. I said mom, she didn’t hand me the job. I interviewed just like everyone else and competed against dozens of candidates. My current job, sure. I was pretty much handed it. My mom always refers to her as a poor girl, and reminds me to be kind to her. When I heard the news of her being mentally off and being checked into the ER, I felt sick. My former coworker talked to me about how upper management knew she had big mood swings and even described her as “bipolar”. It angered her that they allowed her a supervisory position having known that. She brought up how I could’ve made a bigger scene before I quit, and could’ve went to the union for help. And how HR offered me a job to kinda placate me. At the time, I had thought about it, but I remember reading the guidelines of what counted as “workplace bullying” and my experience didn’t fully fall under that. I don’t know if I would have gone to the union, but if that were the case, my name would definitely be tainted and I wouldn’t be allowed to work here again basically. Currently, she’s still in the ER. I’m glad that I don’t have to be careful walking around campus in fear of bumping into her. But I do hope she leaves and doesn’t return (not this earth, just this campus lol).

Matt came back last Thursday and we are leaving to Seattle tonight. Him being gone felt way longer for me than it did for him it seemed. It was kinda hard seeing him have fun all day/travel whereas I was just at work and living my day to day life in LA. When he got back, he said it kinda felt bad/different. He missed having the sense of family like in China, where his family would eat together every day and talk. He said he doesn’t have that here because everyone’s off doing their own thing. It felt a little different seeing him again. I think when you are traveling in a new country, so much goes on and you get to experience many new things. You come back with new learned perspectives. He asked me to sleepover at his house Friday night. I said okay but to get permission from his mom first. He was shy about asking her but finally did ask through text. His mom responded “yes no problem. Should I buy food?”, to which he said no, it’s okay (always denying me food lol). She ended up buying me chocolate covered strawberries, which I thought was really sweet and romantic of her LOL. I didn’t see his mom that night. When I walked into their house, she was not wearing pants and then just went into her room and stayed there the rest of the night. Matt was sick so I brought over ginger and rock sugar to make ginger tea. I was making that in the kitchen with his brother around juicing stuff. It was the first time Matt had a girl over just casually like that lol. His brother is like 14/15 and reminds me of myself when I was his age. He’s pretty talented in art, cooking and general academics. I see why Matt calls him his 2.0 now. If I had a sister 15 years younger than me, damn straight I would train her to be Connie 2.0 too. The sex that night was a lot. After not seeing him for like almost two weeks, I felt shy with him again. He was also extra horny/missed me. The next day, we went hiking. Got a parking ticket. Dropped him back off at home after because homeboy was jetlagged, sick, and sleep deprived and was dying post hike. I brought up how silly he was to have thought we could have gone to Seattle the weekend he returns. I think I learned my role with him. I’m like the practical, cool one. When he comes up with overly ambitious ideas like GOING TO 3 COUNTRIES IN ONE WEEK, I have to shoot down his idea and tell him no. I am glad I shot down his Seattle idea on the weekend he is back. I said, “you get kinda disappointed when I tell you no.” He said “yeah I do. But I’ll get it later.”

The next day was mother’s day. My parents and grandma went to a party. Matt’s mom got admitted to the ER that day. I half joked that maybe I was a part of it because she might have been scared about him getting me pregnant or whatever. He noted that I’m the calm in his life and that his mom “needs a Connie in her life”. Funnily enough, it seems his dad and I share certain qualities. We both like to be comfortable (sleep on time, hike/nature, have a schedule, be early to appointments), we are the less anal ones in the pair. His dad went to China the same week we left to Asia, and he’s gonna stay for like 3 months. I think having both the dad and Matt gone was hard on her.

I told him that due to his mom’s current state, it’s okay if we cancel Seattle. Southwest offers free cancellation and the Airbnb we booked also had a flexible policy, so we didn’t have anything to lose. I also told him that I don’t mind either way because it’s been a lot of traveling for me already- I don’t mind just chilling at home. At least I’d get enough sleep here lol. Also that because he wants to save up money (since he’ll need to pay for rent now), at least not going will save him money. He said thank you to my considerations. He ended up choosing to go. Over dinner on Tuesday, he said the first thing he will do upon receiving his vacation schedule (he gets 2 two week blocks a year, but can’t choose the dates), is book a trip to Iceland for us. I joked saying “where are your priorities?” lol because it seems he hasn’t done much in preparation for the program but yet is thinking about vacation already. Although it did make me happy to hear that. It’s like a placeholder to keep me attached for x amount of time. By Tuesday, I felt comfortable with him again. As he settles in, stops being sick and jetlagged, and his days return to normalcy.

We talked a little about the trip. I noted how it was too much pressure on the one day we had per country to go well and he agreed. I thought he was high strung especially. Hanging out with him at home is normally chill, as I confirmed hanging out with him again. He is NORMALLY easy going and doesn’t have many opinions on the things we do/eat, but traveling with him under a constraint was different. At least we got to learn more about each other. Going to Seattle after work today- semi PMSing. Here’s to round two of traveling! Will try to be rational and think before reacting. Aiming for good vibes throughout.

Clubbing: I went clubbing for the first time in years (minus the times I went just to show my cousins from France around LA). I guess it’s fun getting dressed up and going with a group of girls just taking pictures together and getting male attention. But I was also reminded about how I don’t like clubbing and it’s not my scene. I tend to drink more to feel at ease in those environments. I was DD and drank kinda a lot (my friend said DD stands for ‘drunk driver’ LOL). The club is actually a sad scene for me now. In the restroom especially, you see these wasted girls. On the dancefloor there are dropped drinks. You have all this unwanted attention. Reminded me of the song “crying in the club” – I don’t know the song but I just know the title lol. I remember when I was younger, I used enjoy getting wasted and remembered that girls are usually very supportive in the restroom. People become nicer and friendlier than if they weren’t drunk. It was a fun night- girl bonding and seeing people was a refreshing way to spend my weekend nights haha

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thegraphitesword-blog · 7 years

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Pride Month Prompt 3/30: First Date

Fandom: Dear Even Hansen

Relationship: Jarsen

Notes: okay so this one is late because I spent yesterday in the ER so......don’t kill me.

More Notes: This is post Connor project. Even has finally saved enough for his first semester of college and finds a familiar but unhappy face in the mix with his four roommates. Tyler, and Mathew are just made up, so yeah. This will be a little longer than most of most. Jared is really going to hate his guts for a while and Even will just take the beating. Headcannon neither of them know they were set up for their first date.

Prompt: First Date

Pov: 1st Even Hansen

Life had fallen semi-back into place, after the hype of the Connor Project died down. The Murphy’s didn’t say anything about me writing Connor’s “suicide” note, so there was minimum backlash, on that respect.

The Murphy’s of course pretended that I was the one who died. Alana refused to look at me, and Jared didn’t even attempt to say anything, not even to save his car insurance. But, being alone was just how things were, before and after Connor’s fake relationship with me.

so, once again I was a blip on the radar of high school, I started taking my medication again and saw the therapist more often and thankfully stopped writing those “Dear Even Hansen” letters.

Honestly, the whole Connor debacle made high school easier. Not because I was more than just a nameless face oe even because people even acknowledged me. No....it was because, once the lie came out to the people who needed to hear it, I didnt have to keep lying.

Now, that didn't curb my anxiety or make graduating any easier, but once I moved to college. the Connor Project was a tiny memory in my rattling brain.

Connor Murphy on the other hand would always have a special place in my brain and heart.

Mom had just dropped me off at the round about near the entrance of my dorm.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come up?”

The red flags were flaring, but I shakily declined.

“love you, mom.”

“Love you too, honey.”

as she drove away, I could feel my nervousness rush past the thresh hold to straight on anxiety. The my dorm had maybe 9 stories and it was in the midst of a circle of equally tall buildings.

“Ho boy.”

I didn’t have to bring much up, so I carried my two boxes to the entrance to Sycamore Hall (I was so happy the halls were all named after trees or plants). I had gotten my key already, I waited in the ridiculous line for the elevator, which was a mistake considering everyone was using the single elevator.

After what felt like hours, I made it to Level 3 and carefully walked through the throng of excited freshman. My room was in the middle of the hall 312. On the door was 4 cut outs of fruit. Cherry was for Mathew, Melon for Tyler, Lemon for Jared and an Apple for me. I hadn’t actually met my roommates, so this was going to be yet another ordeal.

I take a breathe and kick the door considering my hands were full.

“Door’s open.” a guy calls out.

I stare at the door trying to figure out what to do. i stand there flustered until after maybe five minutes the door swings open.

“Jared, this better not be you.....oh, hey you must be Even.”

“I.....um....y-yes.”

He smiles taking the boxes from me, “Sorry about that, I thought you were fucking Jared, being a dick. i’m Mathew Trime. You’ll be my bunk mate.”

He carries my stuff through an open room leading off to four others. Two had doors, one was obviously a bathroom and the other rooms. Matthew lead me to the far room that was covered in boxes, and had two beds.

“I already pick this bed, if that’s chill with you?”

“Oh, um, yes.”

“Yo, Tyler. Get your ass away from that game and meet Even...um what’s your last name?”

“Um, H-Hansen.”

“Even Hansen.”

Some one comes running ad a racially mixed lanky guy ran in, “Hansen....Even Hansen from the Connor Project.”

I felt myself panicking, “Um......yes.”

“Dude, that speech you gave was awesome. I donated like 100 dollars.”

Matthew laughed, “ of your sisters sweet 16 money.”

Tyler pouted, “I payed her back.”

They busted up, and i played with the hem of rmy shirt. “So, you know each other?”

They nodded, “Since like four years ago. Freshman entrance exams.”

“This guys nearly got caught cheating.” Tyler said laughing.

“Emphasis on nearly.”

I felt like I might have just made a good impression, but I honestly couldn’t tell. I was going to say something, but the door busted open.

“Sup, dickwads! Brought some food. Am I best or am I.”

“Uh Yeah, who do you takes us for Jared.”

They ran out and I peeked out of my room and my heart stopped. Despite barely seeing and not speaking for almost a year hey looked the same. Same glasses and short stocky build. Same goofy and sin filled smile.

I back up and felt like crying.

“Yo, Jared our last room mate is here. Even....um....”

“Hansen.” Matthew said with his mouth full.

“Wait....” Jared whispered.

The jig was up and I peeked out. “H-Hi.....Jared.”

HIs eyes narrowed, “I guess the rat comes out of hiding. wait you’re worse than a rat.”

Tyler looked worried, “You guys knew each other?”

Jared scoffed, “I guess that’s a way to put it.”

“Jared.....I’m......s-so-”

He cut me off storming to his room and slamming the door.

Tyler, “Yo, don’t touch my game.”

“What was that about.”

But, Even was already imploding, then exploding, then imploding again. He couldn’t breath to the point his vision had black spots. He tried to spit something out, but ind=stead he just ran. I ran through the hallway and just kept running til i literally tripped over my feet and fell.

“no no no this can’t be happening.”

I scrambled for the emergency anxiety pills in my pocket, even though it’s not recommended by his doctor. That was hen I realized that the little container was......empty.

“Of course. of fucking course.”

I looked around and found a bench to at least keep myself from falling to my knees.

“Breathe.....breathe.”

I tried my best to stop the hyperventilating and though it sorta worked, I debated calling my Mom to take me home. I couldn’t spend a year let alone a semester with Jared Kleinman. The guy I hurt so badly, who helped me lie to the world, to the Murphy’s.

I pulled my phone out and hovered over my Mom’s number, when I heard my name.

“Hansen!”

“Yo, Even.”

I look up and Tyler and Matthew were running towards me.”

“gG-Guys?”

“Hey, don’t worry. Jared told us you have some like.....anxiety thing or something. We came running.”

Wait.....Jared said that?

“Um......yeah. It’s um....s-social a-anxiety.”

Tyler sits down next to me, “Did you it have to with Jared.”

“What? No nonono, it’s......more than that.”

Matthew shrugged, “He didn’t say why either.”

Tyler offered me a hand and hauled me up, “Let’s go back. We gotta work this out. “

“Wait, wait, no.”

“Dude” Matthew laughed, “We’re going to be living together for the next like 5 month. you two can’t just aviod each other.”

They didn’t listen to my objections and dragged me back to room 312. Someone had torn off my apple, which i guessed who, but i didn’t hurt as much as me trying to apologize to Jared.

Tyler knocked on his door and Jared yelled, “Fuck off.”

“Jared it’s me. It’s my room too jackass.”

He groaned and opened the door. We walked inside and Matthew slammed the door closed not letting a way for escape.

“What the hell?” Jared and I said in unison.

“You two are going to hash things out and become tolerable roommates, until then, none of us are leaving.”

“No,” Jared said.

“Not an option.”

Jared kept fiddling with his computer and ignored us.

Matthew nudged me, whispering, “Go first.”

I gulped nervously he.had never said he was anything more than a “family” friend, but he was the he may closest thing he had and I realized this was my chance to do something.

“Um.....J-J-Jared. Listen, I know what I did last y-year was super dickish a-a-and you have n-no reason to forgive me. I-I-I left you because I got something no one had ever given me.”

“And what I gave you wasn’t enough?”

“You always told me you only cared because of your stupid care insurance.”

“I was okay. But, you still cared even when I didn’t. And then you didn’t”

Ty heart broke, “But, you didn’t care.”

“Of course I did, dipshit. Why did you think I helped you fake all those emails? Or keep your secret.”

i tried to rebutle but Tyler stopped me, “You faked what emails?”

Jared frowned, “You didn’t tell them?”

“Jared we just met.”

“Well?”

“Ugh, I faked the Connor Project emails. I faked everything. Okay! Did you hear me Jared? Is that what you wanted?”

“Partly.”

“Wait wait wait, you faked them?”

I turned and Tyler looked angry.”

“No no no-well yes, but I only w-w-wanted to help the Murphy’s feel b-b-better about Connor. I just wanted t-to help. I didn’t m-m-mean for it to get out of hand. I didn’t want this.”

Tyler sighed, “I’ve been there.....i guess i just didn't think those rumors would be true.”

Matthew rubbed Tyler’s shoulder, “What does that have to do with Jared?”

“I was the one who wrote the emails.”

“And i called him friend less and stupid shit like that.”

“Whoa, Acorn, you swear?”

“Jared, I’m a 19 year old boy. of course i do. I just don’t vocalize it often.”

“Acorn?” Matthew chuckled.

“NOT important.”

Jared laughed. “I’ll tell you later, Ty.”

“Is that all? Have you guys made up? Can we go eat?”

Jared shook his head, “We’re not even. Thanks for trying to fix that bridge but you burnt it to ashes.”

He got up and shoved past the three of us and left.

“Worth a shot, right?”

“N-N-No.”

Jared continued to ignore me all through the first month of college which I should have expected since he did it for months before hand. Tyler and Matthew refused to take sides, and hung with both of us. College is much harder when someone who hates you lives literally 5 feet away.

Classes were harder than high school, but not as bad as my messed up brain made it. Gen Eds consisted for of history, of the Americas 1800s to present calculus, macro biology, and art 101. I had lucked out and tested out of my language, which meant to public speaking for a while.

I always came back to the dorm at 4:30 and hung out with the RA Cierra until she had class or til, one of roommates came back. I stayed up til 4 doing work or just absently tapping my at my desk, until Matthew begs me to stop.

The days fold into weeks and weeks melt into months and things are still rocky with Jared and I. Tyer gets the full story of the Connor project and surprisingly isn’t mad. He thought it was sorta valiant, me trying to make the family happy even though it wasn’t true and he thought it was awesome they put the money raised towards the Murphy’s and the orchard. Matthew didn’t really care, as long as I promised to be honest with him.

I thought my head might fall off with how vigorously I nodded.

After maybe two months, Jared finally came to dinners with the four of us, though he stayed far from me, but it was step.

“So, Jared, what’s school like?”

“We go to the same school, Ty.”

“Not the same classes, idiot.”

Jared starts talking about computer classes, computer design, and others adn i listen along with the others. He had always been a computer geek, gloating about his “mad skillz”. It was only inevitable that he created a career with it.

“What about you Acorn?

The gaze turns on me and I grow red, “Oh....uuuh, things are f-f-fine. J-Just gens.”

“So are you undecided?” Matthew asks, biting into his pizza.

Jared laughs bitterly, “No he’s just not sure what classes or people he needs to trample to get where he wants.”

It felt like he just slapped me and Tyler punches him in the arm. BUt, instead of shrinking in, I’m fed up.

“What is your problem, Jared. What do you want me to do? I’ll move out, or something if you want. I don’t want you be mad at me. I tried to fix it. I told them. I told the Murphy’s, I told Zoe, I told everyone who would listen or believe me. What the fuck do you want?”

Jared stands up and pokes a finger in my chest, “I want you to remember that you had friends before the Murphy’s! I want a time machine to bring that into perspective.”

“You think Alana actually cared about me? She had her own agenda. You on the other hand kept telling me OVER AND OVER AND OVER that all you cared about was your car insurance!”

“You’re not the only only one who can lie EVEN! Did you ever think why I wanted to help you? Did you think of anyone besides yourself?”

“I thought about-”

“The Murphy’s that’s what you say. But. was that was just how you got to the top. You didn’t care about ANYONE. NOT EVEN YOUR OWN FUCKING MOTHER!!!!!”

The cafeteria goes quiet and I can feel the tears. My roommates including Jared look horrified.

Jared reaches forward, “Even....I’m-”

I push past him and run. I hear people calling me but i don’t care. I don’t know where to go, so I just keep running. I end up at the gigantic tree next the the bell tower. That’s when I let the anxiety overtake me.

It was like all of my worst days collide together into a spiral of panic. I look up into the tree and imagine that day over the summer.

I let go and some days I wish I didn’t . That i could see the sky holding the branch with one hand......and then have it disappear. To disappear.

Instead, I lay under the tree and breathe in the sappy air. The tree was maple and it smelled that way. But, even if I wanted to die, even if i wanted to keep Connor company in heaven or hell or where ever he is, I don’t want to be a person that is remembered for my lie.

“I.....only wanted the best.”

“I know.”

I jump up and scramble behind the tree, Jared was standing, hands in his pockets.”

“J-J-Jared?”

“Who else would know you would run to the first tree you found?”

“Right. So why are you h-h-here?”

Jared sits down and wipes his glasses, “I went to far. I shouldn’t have said anything about your family.”

“It’s fine. I deserved that much.”

Jared rolls his eyes, “Acorn please, you deserve a lot after the Connor incident, but what I said wasn’t one of them.”

“Ge, thanks.”

He shrugged, “’ts what I do.”

“Why’d you follow me?”

“Tyler gave me a look that could kill. And i wanted to apologize. I’ve been mad for no real reason anymore. You keep trying too make things better and you came clean-ish. It...just hurt.”

“What did?”

“You not caring about me.”

“But, you would always say-”

“I know what i said. I lied, you were the closest friend thing I had. I’m just too much of an ass to admit it. And when you did, I still didn’t want to admit it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I was a dick.”

I tried not to laugh, “Yeah, you were, but so was I.”

“Friends?”

“Just don’t do that again.”

“Can’t make any promises.”

We were pretty chill after that. Tyler fussed over me for days while Matthew gave Jared hell for being a dick, but things worked out. All four of us hung out and played games, studied and other college things. Until, Jared entered my room at like 2 am. His hair was messed up and fluff, he didn’t have his glasses on which was dare I say cute.

“SO, Acorn Hansen.”

“Even.”

“Nope. Anyway, the guys are going to Chili’s tomorrow wanna come since none of us have classes?”

I shrug, “Maybe.”

“Not an answer.”

“Fine.”

“Sweet. Don’t stay up too long.”

That of course didn’t happen and when morning hit, I was exhausted but to scared to sleep, fearing I might miss the lunch. Matthew stirs away and I hear the bed creak.

“Even what are doing up still?”

“N-N-Nothing.”

“Even chill. You need sleep.”

“I didn’t want to miss the lunch.”

Matthew smiled, “You won’t. i’ll wake you up, kay.”

It wasn’t super reassuring but it had been a couple nights since I had slept so might as well. I woke up maybe an hour or two later to Jared and Tyler screaming about some game. I stumbled in rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

“Yo sleeping beauty, is awake.”

“You look lovely, Acorn.”

I rolled my eyes, “Whatever. What time at Chili’s today?”

Tyler laughed playing Last of Us furiously, “In like two hours.’

“But, its still late?”

“Check your phone.” Jared sighed tapping away at buttons.

Sure enough it was around 9 am.

“What Matthew said he’d wake me up.”

“Dude, he tried. But, you were out. Jared even tried to give you a magical kiss.”

What.....

Jared turned pink, “I said not to tell him!!!”

Tyler smirked, “To good to pass up.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, “Wow.”

“Shut up, Acorn.”

We all pile into Tyler’s car and blared pop music singing like there was no tomorrow, and I was finally glad things had worked out. When Jared and I walk into Chili’s Matthew says he forgot his wallet back at the dorm. I offer to pay, but he knew I could barely afford college. Tyler gave us a wave and ran out with Matthew, telling us to find a table.

We were seated and the waiter came around a few times asking for our orders, but once the 30 minute mark passed, Jared threw up his hands.

“Tha’s it we’re ordering!”

“W-W-Wait, Jared I’m sure they’ll be back.”

“You said that like forever ago. I want some potato skins.” He whined called over a waitress.

We ordered our food and Jared promised me our roommates weren’t dead, eventually resorting to making me laugh to keep my mind off my friends possible doom. Food came, Jared ordered a monstrous burger for both of us, which i tried to politely decline. They came, were devoured and we payed.

We weren’t far from campus and since neither Tyler or Matthew answered their phones, walking seemed to be the cheapest option. We talked about how much of a dick our roommates were and how we planned on getting back at them. Jared went on and on about games and school and he cut me off the second I mentioned trees. It was night fall when we got to campus, and we decided to take a second and look at the stars. Jared was apparently were knowledgeable about astronomy, and I listened to him drone on about the constellations and science behind stars. I laughed and watched Jared out of the corner of my eyes.

He glanced at me, “You okay, Even?”

“Oh.....yeah. Hey, let’s go back to the dorm.”

He pulled me up, and we walked back to Sycamore Hall watching the stars twinkle.

The door to 312 was open and we could here to guys laughing inside.

“What the hell? Tyler, Matthew! What the fucking hell?!?”

Tyler looks up from his Xbox, “ Oh the love birds are back, Mat.”

Matthew looked up from his book, “Yo guys.”

Jared’s face grew beet red, “Why did you guys leave us?”

“Come on, you guys need to suck up whatever happened and go on a freaking date already. So, we made i happen.”

I choked on the air, “W-W-What!!!”

“Even close your mouth and just admit you had a fun date.”

My mouth hung open as Jared laughed, “You assholes.”

“Buuuuuuuuut?” Tyler crooned.

“Yeah, it was cool or whatever.”

Matthew beamed, “Even?”

My mine was blaring with sirens and flashing red lights, as everyone including Jared watched me. I could barely form words, but watching Jared laugh and scream at games, and talk about stars was so comforting and finally something Even felt was genuine.

And all I could do was nod.

#pride prompt month #deh #dear evan hansen #jarsen #even hansen #jared kleinman #college au

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