#JHBKnm

[t4tdykes]

(for the ask game) i think it's a somewhat flawed question because fandoms are bad at getting characters but i think there'd be a subsection of people with brains who'd find comfort in your kindness. and by virtue of being such a good writer i think you'd deserve good in-depth fics

sobs chiara.... love of my life.... it is a very cursed question yes kGDHSJ but if i had my own little gaybeehood somewhere i know they’d treat me right...

if i was a character how would the fandom treat me?

#ask game #JHBKnm #mxrspider #asks

[gerrydelano]

y’know what. fuck. my summer job before my suspicious delivery van job was as a journalist for the gay section of fire island (yes, we have that here, and it’s quite famous for their pride events) which is a thin little island running underneath the length of long island, so narrow you can see water on both sides + they use golf carts and bikes to get around because fuck automobiles. i spent a few weeks that summer taking a ferry over there, going to town meetings, and then doing paper distribution. i’d walk the entire 8 mile stretch with a wagon full of papers (having to at some points drag it through very loose awful sand) and have to take a water taxi from one point to another in the middle of it. 

and let me tell you. let me tell YOU. my disabled ass paid for it it. i was rendered nearly immobile every time i got home from this. i’d spend entire days out there because of the travel time. i got the worst tan on one shoulder and one shoulder only. my boss straight up never paid me. she ghosted me completely and i was NEVER paid for this.

so like. beach communities, dude. what the hell lmao.

#r.txt #JHBKNM #she gave me the gay part of the island cuz i'm gay and then she NERFED ME!!!!!!!!

[quirkify-moved-blog]

...I just realized my link in the moved blogs post. Goes to. A broken sideblog. I’m. I’m screaming.

@quirkify is the new blog jhbknm I’m just gonna message the people who followed the broken one I am so sorry this is so messy what the fuck. Thanks for your patience ;-;

#bep.txt #The link went to @midoriidas? #jhbknm

[gerrydelano]

i will spoil however that there is no peter in my humble pharos so don’t get your hopes up for THAT GUY  

#r.txt #pbr tag #jhBKNM

[gerrydelano]

ronathan I am WEEPING in my bathroom at 1 in the am over bloodwater ballad. The line about gerry deserving more than scars made my soul ascend with the grief I imagined eric would say that with. Also I know it’s supposed to be blood dripping but boy howdy!!! Did my mind think it was mary walking closer as the song progressed so she could kill eric or even hurt gerry!!! love the song and enjoy my tears you absolute madman :)))

oh my g-d that’s SO much worse than blood dripping! yikes!!!! i will enjoy your tears like the madman i am but i hope you know i’m also crying! because of that horrifying image and also how nice you are despite the pain it inflicted on me! take that!!!!

#reviews #bloodwater ballad #jHBKNm #anon #asks

[gerrydelano]

*conducts poor man’s tilt test* oh ! okay !

#in other news. day of learning things #possibly not really #jHBKNm #r.txt #wow i feel like hot garbage!

[gerrydelano]

grey's fucked up this time! they did alex so dirty :(

THEY DID THEY HONESTLY DID!!!! he’s an original! he’s been here the whole time! he was a core thread! i’m not like Devastated i’m just pretty Annoyed? so much work went into him and so much beautiful growth happened and then they drop the ball like this come Onnnn ugh. blehhhh. 

#greys posting #JHBKNm #anon #asks

[gerrydelano]

my dude you could have folded up a washcloth or something i’m absolutely reeling at this please the drama

#i love him im jhbknm #r.txt #top

[gerrydelano]

i can't get that ask that said something along the lines of "bi jon? bijon frise lol" and now i'm. thinking of "bi jon? bijon mustard lol" i'm sorry ❤️

bijon mustard.... somebody help this guy he’s Transforming

#bijon frise anon KILLED ME JHBKNM #mag003 #asks

[gerrydelano]

i read breathing like i never did a bit ago, and after recently beginning to question where i stand in relation to being butch, i chose to reread it. it's... wow. i'm actually pausing right now, was reading "sun", just finished leo's first scene. georgie's inner monologue here, the can we be the same? question is hitting plenty close to home. just... thank you for creating this fic. it's beautiful, and right now it feels a bit like a lighthouse, if that metaphor makes sense. - J💚

oh man, hi! i’m really touched you’d even remember it enough to go back to it when your exploration changed, this is so? sweet to hear, i’m so touched. the “can we be the same? do you really see yourself in me?” bit definitely hits different now with the edits i’ve made, and it’s really nice to see it get somebody! also it’s so funny, most people who message me about this one tell me it helped them lock in their identity as a femme, so it’s really cool to get another butch in my inbox!!!! thank you for stopping by to share this 🧡

#J💚 #love letter tag #reviews #also calling it a lighthouse got me in my feelings thank u jhbknm #anon #asks

[gerrydelano]

Hi this is rather random but I just wanted to tell you that your Gerry EDS headcanon get my chronic pain diagnosed. I never would've considered a connective tissue disorder without it, so thanks for the representation, you helped me pinpoint a diagnosis of a five year mystery pain.

well, we got another one boys! except oh wow holy shit, i’m so happy for you! finally getting to the bottom of a mystery like that is just, an indescribable feeling, and i’m. beyond blown away to hear that my writing somehow played any part in that, wow. i’d say the real credit goes to you being able to assess your own experience and fighting for yourself, but maybe there is a little bit of luck there! 

this is honestly how ren and i figured ourselves out, too, and i somehow managed to get bumped to the front of a 2 year waiting list to see the only EDS specialist on my island 2 weeks from now! the power of people just writing about their experiences huh hkjdfnfkjghf gah, seriously, i’m so glad & i hope that you’re able to figure out a treatment plan that helps soothe some of your pain!

#reviews #i need a fcking. tag just for msgs like these #disability gang! #g-d. man wow never gets old jhbknm #anon #asks

[gerrydelano]

thinking about salesa and his shantyman husband in my personal lore

#gonna uhhhh Write That eventually! FUCK! #i'm emo jhbknm #SALESA WOULD SING SHANTIES!!!!!!!! HE WOULD! HE'S SO JOLLY........ he's so human. it's RIGHT up his alley #r.txt

[gerrydelano]

That’s actually somethingI worry about quite a bit as an aspiring YA author! A character who’s sixteen hasn’t had the chance to learn what they want in a partner (if they’ve even dated yet), but the relationship(s) portrayed in the book are the ones readers carry through the rest of their lives. So it would be realistic for me to say that character x and character y date for a year and then break up because that’s how dating works, but that’s so non-standard in YA and I have no idea how readers would react! And part of it is teens just not having a lot of life experience, but then it also self-perpetuates through media and fandom culture.

the sad part of trying to be successful in these fields is having to cater somewhat to audience interest, but i don’t think you’d have to do that with every single thing! i’ve read books where characters end up not staying together because they have to work on some things, and i found it so refreshing & a lot more engaging than a narrative where they end up together forever from such a young age and they act like nothing’s off about that. the hunger games epilogue does NOT feel like it was intended to be a happy ending at all, it was an extension of the way everyone was trapped and traumatized and locked in with one another in ways that made it impossible to consider brancing out as even a possibility, and so on. i think if you wanted to write a shorter term relationship between characters and explore that circumstance, it would make a potential reunion that much more interesting! i feel like there would be enough people who DO connect to that kind of story and find it that much more romantic in the aftermath that you’d be fine, tbh.

#but what do i know sobs jhbknm #i just think it's neat and i encourage you to write what you want to write #anon #asks

[gerrydelano]

i hope this isn't an invasive question or anything, but how are you feeling about your old butch georgie stuff these days? if you don't ID as butch anymore

well, regardless of how i feel now, i still ID’d that way very sincerely when i wrote it and i still adhere to the headcanon with much love! i still have just as much admiration and respect for it as i did then. i won’t really know all my feelings until i feel more at home in my Physical Form in general so like? who knows how i’ll identify in the future. i sure don’t. and it doesn’t really matter!

overall, butch sets a prime example of the type of tender, compassionate masculinity i still want to cultivate even if i don’t use the word at a given time when a Bigender Swing leaves me hanging around in boy town, y’know? it doesn’t mean i suddenly want to Be Just Like A Cis Man or something, or that i didn’t take anything fulfilling from my time using the word and engaging in the community. that mattered! and still does.

so, i don’t see what would change about my butch georgie stuff! just because my personal identity changed a little doesn’t mean that stuff is hollow now; i write everybody with different demographics and i certainly don’t fit into all of them myself. butch georgie still means a lot to me and it’s still going to be written consistently in all future GTCU content, so. just because i’m currently distancing myself from it a little doesn’t mean i’m going to change any of my headcanons or something, etc. it’s still important, and still something i put a lot of genuine feeling into.

EDIT 8/28/21: i still ID as butch and probably always will! this ask sits wrong with me and i think about it every so often and one day i'll get back on my laptop and revise this but for now i want to just put this here for myself.

#love letter tag #sorry if this is long i just wanna clear some shit up JHBKNM #i don't wanna...feel like i have to be like 'oh i could be butch again someday tho...' or something #is the problem. like. a lot of things are making me feel Guilty for. changing? #and this kind of. contributes? a bit? #so i hope that like...this makes sense. #anon #asks

[gerrydelano]

Do you think time is a part of the vast? We can't imagine eternity or even long stretches of time, the most maybe a few thousand years. The rest just becomes imcomprehensible. How there was so much before us and so much will be after us and in the grand scheme of things we are completely insignificant again. And honestly I am terrified of the concept of immortality.

it for sure gets utilized by the vast! but i definitely like looking at this sort of thing as kind of an example of the fears taking advantage of a tool we unwittingly gave them in our attempts to understand the world around us, and fight back against the press of their influence. less something that was already innately in place and more something that we created in response to it, and never really had control over in the first place. we like to bite off a lot more than we can chew.

because “time” is generally just a measure of our position in space/an overall totally relative human construct. it’s mostly our attempt at understanding all that empty space/making things Matter, which Yeah, absolutely Vast at its core, but also lends to plenty of overlap with the other ones, too. all of them play around with it but the vast, the buried, the spiral, the web, and the end especially are all out here like, “haha nice job idiot.” 

so we did some of the work for them by creating that sort of framework. all we managed to do was heighten our own awareness of its magnitude and we still can’t comprehend it all. now we have a baseline of comparison to highlight the gravity of what we’re facing when they decide to fuck around! 

human beings: i think there are hours in a day the entities: 

#entities #ronologues #i need to stop microediting this im JHBKNM #feuerbluete #asks

[gerrydelano]

this does remind me! this is gerry’s dog:

she’s a weimaraner/lab mix! pure baby concentrate

#this one Might be a silver lab but who knows actually like the other ref i have is a biiit darker than i imagine her #point is she is a beautiful angel #r.txt #tsp tag #i should have included this IN the chapter im so stupid JHBKNm but tim wouldnt knOW WHAT SHES MIXED WITH #so whatever!