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gillianthecat · 2 years

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After pondering this some more, I've revised my theory and now think that (out of the shows I’ve seen and can recall right now) Old Fashion Cupcake has the best depiction of consent in BL, in the sense that it doesn’t show any boundary violations.

I was initially going to say, this is because it isn’t even looking at the question of boundaries. But now I think about it, Old Fashion Cupcake is actually very closely examining boundaries and limits, and looking at how they can be challenged without being violated. This is what makes the show feel so sweet but not saccharine, gentle but still complex and erotic.

The whole premise of the show is that Togawa is pushing at Nozue to expand his comfort zone. What makes it work so well is that Togawa is very carefully calibrated in how he does it. He pushes just a little, evaluates Nozue’s reaction to see whether he’s gone too far, and then either pushes more or backs off if he sees that Nozue wants him too. This works because Togawa is extremely socially astute, and very good at reading Nozue.

(From what other people are saying about Minato Shouji Coin Laundry, it sounds like this attentiveness and calibration are what Shin is failing to do with Minato)

There are inherent power dynamics in the fact that Nozue is Togawa’s boss, but the show and the characters are very careful about them. Togawa is clearly the one in pursuit! Nozue even switches to another department before they actually get together. And though I focus mostly on Togawa here, I think Nozue is also reading Togawa very carefully and calibrating everything he does.

There are two moments that come to mind that could have felt like violations; when Togawa tells Nozue he jerks off to the one he likes, clearly implying that he jerks off thinking about him, and when Togawa forcefully kisses Nozue. But they didn't, because both were part of sequences where Togawa slowly escalated things in response to the green lights he read in Nozue's actions and responses.

Note: I've never seen anyone arguing that Togawa is violating Nozue's boundaries at those moments, I'm just working it through for myself why these two instances feel safe, when in other contexts they wouldn't.

In the dinner at Togawa's house (ep 3) Nozue is the one who brings up porn. He's doing a careful test of the boundaries too, and they both know that this is what they're doing. And when Nozue gets uncomfortable and tells Togawa to stop, he does. (At least presumably; the scene cuts at that point to Nozue washing dishes.)

In the scene leading up to the kiss (end of ep 4), they both have been taking turns escalating the intimacy (i.e. flirting). Nozue compliments his body and asks advice about exercising. Togawa offers to teach him and touches him under the guise of helping. When it goes too far for Nozue, Togawa backs off. They basically tell each tell the other 'you're the most important person in my life.' !! When Nozue decides he needs to leave, its clear to both us and to Togawa that it's not due to anything Togawa did, but rather because of the specter of a socially acceptable heterosexual love rival.

And I'm pretty sure Togawa knows that Nozue is attracted to him. As I've said, I think he's very good at reading people, and he's paying very close attention to Nozue. (This is obviously more subjective, the show doesn't tell us either way outright.) So while he doesn't think Nozue could want to be in a relationship with him, my interpretation is that on some level, conscious or not, he knows that at least part of Nozue wants the kiss. And Nozue's response shows that he does!, something both Togawa and the audience can see. He immediately kisses back. He bites down on Togawa's thumb in his mouth like he doesn't want to let it go. He never pushes Togawa away, Togawa is the one to let go. And afterward, having pushed Nozue more than he ever had before, and being unable (or too scared) to read whether or not it was welcome this time, Togawa backs off entirely and waits for Nozue to come to him.

I think what made the kiss feel so safe is by this point in the show I trusted that Togawa 1) would try hard not do anything that harmed Nozue and 2) even in his heightened emotional state was capable of reading whether or not Nozue felt safe. Now, Togawa didn't trust himself in this moment. He was so caught between his desire and his fears that he didn't trust his perceptions. But I still trusted him, and I think a lot of the audience felt the same.

In fact the only thing in the show that struck me as troubling about consent was when the H.R. director (Nozue's boss?) kept pushing them to attend the dating gatherings. I don't know enough about Japanese workplace culture to fully understand the context and implications, but I do think even there the show was thinking about boundaries. Several times, Nozue pushed back and said it wasn't appropriate.

There may have been other moments, but nothing I can recall. I'm curious if others had a different reaction since I know things that felt fine for me in Semantic Error were very uncomfortable for @heretherebedork.

Here are my general thoughts on boundaries and consent.

p.s. I chose that picture because of the way Nozue is biting down on Togawa's thumb. He's biting down and holding on! I can't get over it! !!! !!!!!!!

#old fashion cupcake #thoughts on consent and boundary violations in bl #adding my take to the many thoughtful analyses of *that kiss*#my ramblings #togawa x nozue #nozue x togawa #i love this show and these characters so much

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