Just a Crush | Steve Harrington
Pairing: Steve Harrington x Male!Reader
Word Count: 545
Synopsis: Takes place during Steve’s “little nuggets” conversation with Nancy. Reader is romantically interested in Steve (to what degree, I’ll let you decide) and has a moment of self reflection when he hears what Steve is saying.
Warnings: Angst, BIG self deprecation is this one fellas, period appropriate internalized homophobia, unrequited love, unhealthy pinning, Billy Joel (sorry not sorry)
Author’s Notes: I want you all to know that you are valid. Whether or not someone is interested in you romantically does not reflect your worth as a person. That being said, enjoy the angst.
Part 2
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The mobile home’s rickety axel caused the vehicle to jostle in a nauseating way. It certainly wasn’t the most luxurious of getaway cars, but it would have to do. In an attempt to distract yourself from the unsettling motion, you peer out the window. The trees here seem endless; the midday light filtering through them creates an ethereal glow that might be calming if not for the situation.
“How’s it handle?” Nancy’s words bring you out of your distracted state.
“Not that bad,” Steve replies. “Considering that this is a… house.”
This moment feels private somehow. Despite the vehicle being packed full of people, it’s almost as if you shouldn’t be listening in on it. You consider putting on some headphones but then:
“It’s silly but I,” Steve stammers out. “I always had this dream that I’d have this really big family, a full brood of Harringtons.”
As Nancy laughs, you feel as though your heart is being torn out. You realize that Steve never saw you as part of his future. No matter how much the night you spent together meant to you, for him it was just another ‘date’ to cope with the loss of Nancy, albeit a slightly more experimental one.
God how stupid were you to think Steve Fucking Harrigton of all people would ‘come around.’ It’s not as though you’re entirely incapable of understanding why he feels the way he feels. Nancy is beautiful, intelligent, ambitious, funny: the perfect woman. And you, well, you aren’t even a woman. You could never give him the life he wants. You can’t give him a family, or get married, or hell, even hold hands in public with him.
But god, you would kill for him to look at you the way he looks at her. Like you’re the solution to all his problems, the missing piece that would make him complete. To be the first person he reaches to protect when there’s a sign of danger. But you’re not that person, and you never will be.
“Hey, you alright?” Robin’s voice brings you back to reality.
“Yeah, I um-” you clear your throat, not realizing how watery your eyes had become. “Just zoned out there for a minute, nothing to worry about. No Vecna, I promise.” You reassure her with a tight lipped smile.
“Ok, well,” she glances towards Steve before meeting your eyes again. “If you ever need to talk… about anything, I am here.”
You’re pretty sure Robin knows, maybe not the full extent of the issue since you’ve never told her about it out of respect to Steve, but she knows.
“Thanks, Robin.” You say as you look back at Steve once more. Him and Nancy are sharing a meaningful look.
“That sounds nice,” Nancy nearly whispers.
You sigh, deciding you’ve tortured your self enough, you slide your headphones over your head and close your eyes. As All For Leyna by Billy Joel plays, you can’t help but think how ridiculous it is that you're getting ready for an apocalyptic event and all you can seem to worry about is that the boy you have a crush on doesn’t like you back. Because that’s all it is right? A crush?
Yeah. You silently confirm to yourself.
Just a crush.
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