#OH OKAY OKAY OKAY I'LL JUST CARRY ALL OF THIS FEAR AND EMPATHY BY MYSELF THEN. WHILE YOU ALL TREAT ME LIKE I'M BEING DRAMATIC.

[blujayonthewing]

I was trying out variations on colorways for aubree's outfit and, with a few of them, realized that her outfit has trended slightly less colorful over time, and specifically less yellow (originally a green and yellow striped vest, then a green vest over a yellow short sleeved shirt, and now possibly a white shirt and green vest, with only small amounts of yellow embroidery). this wasn't intentional, but nonetheless, the concept that, as the adventure has worn on, she's outwardly losing color-- and specifically in favor of browns and whites, the colors associated with the halfling god of death-- is compelling to me. I mean, I suppose if I had been doing it on purpose, the shadowfell arc immediately following our literal deaths and mysterious rebirths would have been a really good time for the most muted palette... but, then again, aubree was still relatively fresh then, confused and traumatized but also still powerfully and stubbornly alive where it counts; vibrant, burning, shining light into dark corners just by existing. but the more we learn, the heavier things weigh, the fewer outlets she has, the less she feels like she can relate to the people who should understand better than anyone... she's still righteous and angry, but she's also just... sad, and tired, and growing more tired the more she feels like she has to keep herself together for everyone else. and gradually, quietly, her colors are washing out.

#not to be fake deep I guess I just love her #and she's having A Rough Go Of It #this isn't even the most rough SHE'S personally had this campaign actually! #but *I'm* a lot more upset about the party failing to give her meaningful support than she is lmaooo #THIS is more-- okay the raven queen is DEAD and the fate of COUNTLESS SOULS in transition is now uncertain #and it's directly because bringing us back to life significantly weakened the gods that did that!! that's all pretty upsetting!!! #also what might this mean for urogalan? or for our warlock's demigod patron who wasn't that powerful to begin with? #but lisbet's so far up her own invented grimdark emo nonsense that she's implying maybe the Right Thing would be for us to all die(???) #and talia's like [shrug] dude idk we didn't ask them to do that so who cares. whatever. it's literally not our problem lighten up #OH OKAY OKAY OKAY I'LL JUST CARRY ALL OF THIS FEAR AND EMPATHY BY MYSELF THEN. WHILE YOU ALL TREAT ME LIKE I'M BEING DRAMATIC. #THAT'S FINE. #[strained humorless grin] and she doesn't even KNOW about the time she was unconscious and being closed in on by monsters-- #and the party all ran in every possible other direction to do literally everything else other than PROTECT HER WHEN SHE WAS HELPLESS #justin had NPCs on standby in case things got ugly without The Tank but they straight up were the only ones who helped me at all #.... ANYWAY. all of which is to say. we're not on a darkest timeline path or anything but she's in the metaphorical moonlight right now #and it's only by the grace of 'I trust my DM' and specifically 'this campaign balances darkness with meaningful hope and love really well' #that she's not doing worse :') got some dark times to stew in #but now that I'm thinking about it I can be proactively thinking about when to bring more yellow back in #about me #my OCs #aubree

[irravenclaw]

hphm characters songs ⋆｡ ˚༘ ♫ talbott winger's ◡̈

i was so in love with talbott winger that i curated my very own playlist for him ◡̈ so this is the songs i thought the bird boy would listen to throughout hogwarts (or before and beyond) [disclaimer : i don't have the best music taste. this is just my own thoughts]

a song when he took his first eagle flight as an animagus

First Flight - Henry Jackman (Big Hero 6 Soundtrack)

either 18 or 9 years old me would still be fascinated to see the scene where Hiro took his first flight with Baymax. i would still tear up and feel myself shiver when watching the score. the tune really feels like a good sip of courage and excitement. i think when talbott finally learns how to fly in his animagus form, he would listen to something like this. the first time he soar, the first time he saw the world from above.

summarizing talbott's personality

Flying Solo - Pamungkas

i'm flying solo, i'll shed my own tears and i'll walk my own fears

the title speaks for himself :D however i thought this was talbott's song until i realize the lyrics is not really talbott. the lyrics says that the singer will no more believe in the person who left them, but we know that talbott is carrying the people who left him (his family) in his heart :'DD still a good song, nonetheless

the boy who had lost everything

Everything's Not Lost - Coldplay

if you think that all is lost i'll be counting all my demons hoping everything's not lost

i like to think that this song is the song my mc would dedicate to talbott the moment she learned his secrets. the moment she paid empathy. the song to lift his spirit. "everything's not lost, talbott, at least you have me now!" kind of encouragement. oh and the hidden track's lyrics are also nice. but life is for living, it's somehow simple yet deep. life is for living, for dreaming, for breathing, for reminiscing.

the poet in him,

The Lakes - Taylor Swift

take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die i don't belong and, my beloved, neither do you

OKAY i might interpret this song differently from what it was supposed to mean but this is a truly beautiful song. the moment i learned that talbott is into poetry, the literature student in me quickly approved.

for me, the lyrics "take me to the lakes where all poets went to die, i don't belong and my beloved, neither do you" rather sounds like "take me to the lakes where all poets went to die, but we don't belong because we are yet to die. i still want to write poetry for you."

I KNOW it's not the exact interpretation but it sounds to me like that. talbott winger, a wizard poet, admits himself as a poet and would like to make a trip to the lake where all the greatest poets have gone to, however, he proclaims that he went there not to die, and he would tell his lover that both of them did not belong to that lake. they can still continue living. talbott would still write love poems to his lover. and his love will be eternal within those writings.

to honor his animagus ability and his love to transfigurations

Change Shapes - Rebounder ft. Jesse Rutherford

i change shapes when i feel like i wanna i change shapes when i go to the floor i got somewhere to start, i feel my heart this might be the time that I'm sure

another song that speaks for talbott himself!!! 🎉 how can i mention talbott without his animagus ability and his love towards transfiguration. unlike flying solo, this song fully (from both title and lyrics) describes talbott very well. change shape? he can change into an eagle. change shape? just the sentence to describe his favorite class. i thought that the lyrics also speak for him the moment he decided to open up to mc and consider mc as his friend. he got somewhere to start, this might be the time that he's sure.

honorable mentions

another song that speaks for talbott but i just can't describe it

Sincerity is Scary - The 1975

why can't we be friends? when we're lovers? this is such a two-perspective song. how the mc would ask talbott about his loner behavior even after they date :b talbott would answer "sincerity is scary"

inspired after one of his love letter after being exclusive

Tongue Tied - GROUPLOVE

[Might contain spoiler]

i loved you then and i love you now don't leave me tongue-tied don't wave no goodbye don't break

i read the datamine prophet about how talbott's love letter would look like after being exclusive with mc :) one of them says you'd think I'm better with words, but you always leave me tongue-tied. simple yet sweet. and this song is just the right company when he write those sentences into paper! :)

#hogwarts mystery #hphm #talbott winger #playlist #music #hphm characters #what if #talbott winger x mc #Spotify