#TOTverse spoilers

[evelhak]

Hey! So we talked about Kuroko and Haizaki, and now I’m curious in your vision of other Kuroko interactions.

Not shipwise, since I know you only do kagakuro, but in terms of dynamics, what are your fav characters to write Kuroko with?

Lets say, top 3 GoM and top 3 non-Gom?

Oh my friend how you're letting me go nuts again.

May I suggest you get a cup of your favourite drink and maybe some snacks?

Also how do you expect me to choose...? Hmm okay, to make things slightly easier for myself I'll exclude Kagami of course since I've been talking about them a lot already and I also believe I've talked about Momoi at length at least twice in relation to Kuroko so I'll define GOM in the strictest sense for this, but I also won't count either of them as non-GOM haha. I hope that makes sense.

Okay, not surprisingly, I'm going to start with Aomine. I love writing him with Kuroko particularly because when he's at his worst they are absolute poison to each other and they don't really even know it for lot of the time or at least understand why, and that makes for peak relationships drama. (It's complex and I love it.) They have a particular way of feeding each other's weaknesses. When Aomine is stressed out, average Kuroko's communication style and philosophy actually makes him worse in the long run. Also Aomine at his worst makes Kuroko worse. This is because Kuroko's weaknesses at his most stressed resemble some of average Aomine's weaknesses (anxious, lonely and pessimistic) while average Kuroko's optimism and understanding actually give Aomine more room to spiral down because what he's subconsciously looking for is pushback and someone he can trust to practically force him to get it together and average Kuroko is always going to be too accepting for that. However. Here's the cool part. Aomine at his best has some of the strengths of average Kuroko (loyal, secure, taking care of others) which is why when he's getting better he's drawn to Kuroko's typical idealism and particularly when Kuroko is getting worse, Aomine actually steps up, and can empathise with Kuroko at his weakest because while it's a rock bottom for Kuroko it's all actually pretty mundane to Aomine and he can stay quite level-headed about it. Meanwhile Kuroko at his best can direct the same qualities productively as Aomine at his worst does destructively (confidence, independence, stubbornness), and that's why at his best Kuroko appears like he has got the answers Aomine has been looking for after all, because Aomine is actually looking for trust but he needs hard proof for it unlike Kuroko who at his average is just able to trust that things will turn out alright for no particular reason. This is in a nutshell why I love writing the larger scale of their dynamic. It just makes for such interesting plot twists.

Also it's so God damn funny sometimes. Like, I was writing a scene where Kuroko is pretty significantly sick and Aomine is pretty significantly enlightened and although it was a rather serious scene in my story, I just happened to come across a song from some musical that illustrates the inherent comedy of their practically reversed dynamic a 100%.

For contrast here's bit from Kuroko's POV when he had to take care of drunk Aomine:

I just find them hilarious to write and they bring me so much joy.

Then, I suppose the next one will have to be Kise. I just love how they poke at each other's insecurities and how incompatible their communication styles are. You're probably seeing a theme here? I just love it when characters' personalities collide in a way that causes a lot of friction and ultimately provides opportunities for growth, so long as both are eventually willing to go out of their comfort zone. Of course it's only so satisfying because there's so much they can help each other learn, which is true here as well. Kise and Kuroko can both be particularly annoying to each other, because Kise has this habit of putting the burden of interpretation of how serious he is on the other person and that really doesn't work with Kuroko so he's often particularly dismissive of Kise. And while Kise seems like he's bothered by it I think he actually finds it reassuring because it means that with Kuroko he can be as goofy, flirty, needy and attention-seeking as he pleases with zero consequences because Kuroko just deflects it. Obviously Kise actually doesn't want the kind of attention from his friends that he gets from elsewhere, so at his core he doesn't actually feel rejected by Kuroko, he feels quite secure. Meanwhile, I think Kuroko secretly likes the attention he's getting from Kise, because everyone needs some attention. Kise is getting too much so he finds Kuroko relaxing and Kuroko is getting too little so he finds Kise refreshing. And annoying. Because Kuroko actually craves direct and genuine interaction the most, and that's why Kise's way of avoiding it can get really tiresome for him, meanwhile Kise becomes instantly self-conscious and evasive when Kuroko attempts to get some unambiguously genuine expression of feelings out of him (unless they're on the basketball court of course where it's suddenly okay to let things go to your feels). So, as I want to develop their communication I end up writing stuff where Kuroko is quite fed up with their shallow interactions and attempts to get more under Kise's skin, which of course is way too much emotional work for Kise. But it slowly gets better, of course.

A lot of their interactions for me are also based on how Kuroko needs more of Kise's easy breezy "do things for the heck of it and don't think about the deeper meaning" attitude while Kise obviously needs the exact opposite and Kuroko is a great person to make him think about what things he's just doing because it's easy and provides instant gratification, and which things he would actually find meaningful in the long run. Kise has opportunities to make Kuroko less serious and Kuroko has opportunities to make Kise more so. I think Kuroko very much dislikes any shallow or vain feelings that he has and rejects them, but Kise can help him be more comfortable with that part of humanity, while Kise is scared of his deeper feelings, and Kuroko can help him with that instead. So both can find that the feelings they dislike in themselves or make them anxious still have their place and it's better to get acquainted with them.

It takes quite some time for them to get to a point they can understand this because it's obviously not fun trying to consciously work on your insecurities, but when they get there it's really satisfying.

Now I kind of feel like showing this development. So, here are three scene's from Kuroko's POV. Although two of them are with Kagami, but they are talking about Kise.

First one is a conversation on the phone.

About ten chapters later with Kise:

And then about 20 chapters later:

I just wanted to show you because writing this kind of development makes me so excited. (The sport they're talking about is quidditch/quadball.)

The third place is a really tough one because I enjoy writing Kuroko's interactions with every GOM and I think the reason I'm going to have to pick Midorima is actually not because I inherently prefer him, it's because his interactions with Kuroko naturally happen more because he lives closer than Akashi and Murasakibara. But this is how it is because the more I write interactions with characters the more I begin to like them. Kuroko and Midorima are a blast because of their completely opposing conceptualisations of the world. The funny thing is that they might not actually be as opposing as they seem, it's just that they are looking at the same thing from different angles and describing it in language that leads them to believe they disagree more than they do. Yes they also have completely different strategies to getting where they want but maybe it's not as stark as they sometimes seem to believe. This is where the most friction in their relationship comes from and I have done my absolute best to be fair about it, because I am so much more likely to see things in Kuroko's way and I despise horoscopes. So I think another reason I like to write these two so much is that it challenges my objectivity in a particular way.

Anyway, basically Midorima describes fate as something that is above humans while Kuroko basically says you can make your own fate, if you really simplify it.

But. I have these song lyrics in my mind...

"You can plan a pretty picnic, you can pick the perfect time, but you can't expect the weather to be fine".

That thought is still true for both of them. They would both agree to that from their different perspectives. So their views are not actually complete opposites. Just their reactions and how they deal with it, are.

As funny as it sounds, Midorima is actually uncomfortable with the 'supernatural' or abstract unseen realm of things, and that's why he's looking at sources outside of himself to control his thoughts about that which is uncertain. Meanwhile Kuroko can just casually be like "hey what if a meteorite hit the bench" and "cool let's go look for ghosts I've never actually seen one" because he doesn't fear the uncertainty. He is the uncertainty. For Midorima that is his pressure point. Kuroko gets strength from the thought that anything can happen because he feels familiar with and in control of the uncertain, so he believes he can work it to his advantage. For Midorima the idea that anything can happen is daunting because it feels like it pulls the rug from under him and his hard work. He just genuinely doesn't understand that realm of things, much like Kuroko just genuinely doesn't understand cold hard facts and numbers. And that's why they have trouble understanding each other, because they are always approaching things so differently even when they desire the same conclusion.

Anyway. I wanted to do something with Midorima that I felt canon didn't really do. I wanted his way of thinking to get Kuroko off guard and even question his view of reality a little. I wanted Midorima to be able to foresee something about Kuroko because of his strange relationship with fate and I wanted Kuroko to dismiss it because he thinks his way of thinking is above Midorima's. And ultimately Kuroko would be wrong. I thought this would bring more depth to their relationship.

I'm going to show you one key scene in that plot to illustrate some of the tensions in their interactions. This is Kuroko's POV and they are at Suutoku's cultural festival where Midorima is doing fortune-telling from tea leafs.

Alright, that's it for the GOM. I wonder if there's a limit with post length...

Then the others.

Well, there's Ogiwara. And he was not so discussed in depth in canon that I have definitely developed some of his personality on my own. He was obviously contrasted with Kagami and Aomine a lot and explicitly said to have some similarities but the way I see him, he is also similar to Momoi and Kiyoshi in a particular and pretty defining aspect, and that is that he can control the emotional atmosphere of the room. So, while Aomine and Kagami have a lot of physical presence, Ogiwara and these other two characters have a lot of social presence. But the way I see it Ogiwara is also the least manipulative of these examples, pretty chill in the way that he has less of an objective, like it's rarer for him to try to manipulate things to a particular end although he generally could if he wanted to. And I think that's because he mostly just wants everyone to be happy and to have a good time, which aligns well with Kuroko's instincts, so it's no wonder if their friendship was a pretty uncomplicated one before shit hit the fan.

There's actually very little conflict between them in canon that has anything to do with them as individuals. However that's also what makes the relationship kind of stagnant and less interesting because when there's no outside force, then there's nothing about them as people that makes them push each other enough to create the level of conflict and opportunity for growth as there is with some other characters. In some ways that's refreshing, but only as a breath of fresh air. Basically in a story it just makes for nice filler. There isn't enough meat to write for an extended period of time.

That's why, if I wanted to keep Ogiwara in the story in any meaningful way, I had to make something up, and I do enjoy what I came up with. A lot. One key aspect is miscommunication that is due to the fact that although Ogiwara is socially very smooth he doesn't quite understand that Kuroko is actually significantly less so, probably because Kuroko still has emotional intelligence and the ability to match a more a dominant personality (I mean this in a broad sense, not like dominating or something) in a way that makes interaction feel smooth, because the other person is the leading force whether they mean to be or not because Kuroko can pretty much just make it so. (Like in Kagami's case it's more like Kuroko is redirecting a lot of Kagami's emotions so he's not actually dominating it's more like he's Kuroko's 'material' unlike Ogiwara who actually means to lead the interaction.) So, Ogiwara has a habit of implying things, hinting at things, speaking with gestures and believing that Kuroko understands what he's saying, but actually the implications go completely over Kuroko's head. For example, their whole promise: Kuroko didn't understand that more than anything, for Ogiwara it was about staying in touch. Of course facing each other in a game was important and exciting in and of itself, but Kuroko took that way more literally than Ogiwara meant it, and became so single-minded about this one thing he thought his friend wanted from him, that he actually kind of forgot about talking, which led Ogiwara to misinterpreted it as Kuroko not missing their everyday interaction as much as he does. Because Ogiwara thought the implication of their promise was totally clear, while to Kuroko it wasn't. It takes kind of a lot to start seeing why things that are totally clear to one aren't so for another, so they repeat this miscommunication several times and it stretches out into the future so much that it turns out Kuroko's view of their childhood is in some significant ways different from Ogiwara's view of the same events.

Writing more of them together I also found that Ogiwara sees Kuroko in a quite different way from most people and can sometimes say stuff that other people probably wouldn't say:

I'm not saying he's right or wrong, and out of context it may seem like he's undermining the fact that Kuroko didn't have much options, but it's more complicated than that, just too much to explain here. I just put this here because it's interesting contrast to write someone with a little bit different perspective to some things, because his key points with Kuroko have been so different from that of the other characters in the canon timeline which Ogiwara was mostly absent for.

A character whose interactions with Kuroko I actually write way less than I would like is Furihata. Because they have similar temperaments in ways pretty much no other characters do, and I feel they would make the kind of friends who are perfect for peer support and venting to, if either of them could just be a little more proactive about it, but that's the difficulty with a similar temperament, isn't it? It's not just my fault, it's not just that the story is already so bloated from these other relationships, it's that both of them are also going to respect each other's space too much and are generally the type to just sort of let things in relationships develop in their own time. Obviously they both have a lot of drive to make things happen when they need to, but when they don't need to, they are both the type to be more likely to just sit back and watch things develop. So circumstances would need to force them closer to get closer. So far such circumstances happen here and there but not that much. Most often it's Furihata needing emotional support and Kuroko being there, because he has already gone through the same thing. This happens several times in my writing. It takes a while for things to turn the other way around because Furihata is more likely to seek comfort from someone, and Kuroko is more reserved in that way, but once Furihata grows aware of their similarities and differences he also makes more effort to make sure Kuroko knows he can be relied upon too, which fits quite well with Furihata's growth into a captain which is part of my headcanon too.

This is probably his sharpest moment so far, after Seirin's darkest moment in my story. (Kagami's POV)

Then there's Yagi who practically counts as an OC because I've invented like 90% of his personality but I love him so I'm going to talk about him. Yagi is sort of like if Aomine and Furihata fused in some ways. His insecurities come from lack of experience and skills but he reacts to them in a similar way as Aomine to his overwhelming skills, feeling like he's alone and no one can possibly help him. He's more even-tempered and timid, but his negativity comes through in a passive-agressive way and he basically needs someone to kick his butt at all times and he punishes people emotionally if they don't. You can imagine this creates some very intense conflict with Kuroko whose gentle approach to helping Yagi integrate into the team just... doesn't work AT ALL because he's an even harder person for Kuroko to be tough on than Aomine. Kuroko can kick butt when it's Kagami or another openly aggressive person as long as they are not being vulnerable. But Yagi is like... Nope. Nothing is getting through because he wants someone to boss him around but you're supposed to figure that out on your own and Kuroko wants someone who will tell him what they need from him. Match made in heaven right. Well, still it's not hopeless once Kuroko does figure out which string to pull (with the help of Aomine haha). But yeah, it's a minefield. (Not to mention Yagi also starts out as homophobic.) But they do develop when Kuroko realises that he needs something new to help him stay out of sight and Yagi is exactly that because he's radiating negative, passive energy as much as Kagami is radiating positive, active energy so when Kuroko uses both of them he has a double cover as the neutral point between these two energies. But what makes this difficult for Kuroko to figure out is that while Kuroko is technically using Kagami to hide himself he's not using Kagami in a sense that he would need to control him. Kagami is doing what Kagami wants, and Kuroko is using that which Kagami would be doing anyway. But Yagi isn't going to do anything unless someone makes him. It is when Kuroko realizes that Yagi is actually begging to be used, that the game changes. Despite of appearing otherwise Yagi has basically zero ego. He just wants to be useful but he wants other people to tell him how. (Akashi should have used someone like Yagi not Mayu lol.) This was difficult for Kuroko to get, because despite of being as team-oriented as he is, being a shadow was still always a sacrifice for him. Had he been able to he would have wanted to be more "normal". And he still does have enough ego to want to create something for himself and be in control even if it's in a less traditional more subtle way, and he mistakenly believed Yagi would want the same. But Yagi doesn't have that kind of desire. Kuroko is willing to sacrifice himself. Yagi enjoys it. Yagi is a "soldier". Well, in this case, Kuroko is the trickster and Yagi is the rabbit= the star of the magic show who isn't actually doing anything but who things are being done to.

Or...? (Kuroko's POV)

I just love to play with metaphors.

I don't have the best action writing skills to get the most exciting games out of this idea (and a lot of it is probably so out there that it wouldn't even work) but I am actually very proud of how it plays in the interpersonal and metaphorical realm of the story.

Okay. That's it for now. Looks like I didn't run out of space. I hope I managed to keep you interested.

#knb #knb fic #TOTverse spoilers

[evelhak]

I need to see what you can write for KagaKuro and the number 12 ♡

I had a talk about different points of view in writing with @lylakoi and I mentioned I only tend to use omniscient pov for satire or parody, because that's how I find it natural to create a sassy narrator voice. That made me want to challenge myself to writing something completely serious in that pov. I also tend to write all third person perspectives in past tense, so this time I'm going for present tense. I hope you'll enjoy reading this experiment! Thank you for the prompt. 💙

Mini(?) fic: Ripples Prompt: Things you said when you thought I was asleep Pairing: pansexual!Kagami/bigender!Kuroko Timeframe: Third year of high school Rating: Teen and up

---------Ripples---------

The stairs creak as Kagami finally makes his way upstairs towards Kuroko's little attic room. It has only been about twenty minutes, but that's how it feels to him—like forever. A small eternity he has spent with Kuroko's granny and the jungle of houseplants that have left the living room in a state not far from a mud bath. The granny believes in chaos. It is far too satisfying to let go of control while you're immersed in what's in front of you. You can always clean up later. Kagami likes Granny's thinking. She can turn the simple, boring task of repotting the houseplants into an adventure. It reminds Kagami of childhood, when dirt under your nails was a mark of a successful day. Things like this make him think that Granny seems both younger and older than most people.

Indeed, Operation Save The Jungle, as Kuroko's Granny likes to call it, is not why Kagami feels like too much time has passed, after Granny has sent him to check on Kuroko. He doesn't mind doing things with Granny, hasn't for a long time, not since he realised she wasn't out to get him for daring to date her precious grandson. (It was always the father Kagami should have worried about.) He hurries to Kuroko now, because he always does. Whenever Kuroko shows signs of overexertion, Kagami feels the ghost of last spring, the big slump, and he can't quite sit still.

He can't believe it used to be funny. How everyone, including him, could just tell Kuroko... "Don't die". It was a joke. Kagami knows the exact moment it changed, and he could never joke about that again.

Kuroko is not in danger. He is sleeping on the covers of his bed, curled around two other sleeping creatures—Nigou, and the old black cat Shiro who has valiantly carried Granny's sense of humour for 16 years. Kagami will see them in a moment, but for those few more creaky steps he has left before his hand reaches the door handle, his heart races a little. He has seen Kuroko in danger for twice too often. It will take longer than he understands, for those memories to turn into background noise.

It was in the middle of repotting a spider plant that Kuroko suddenly needed to lie down. He didn't say that his vision was blacking out, but Kagami can guess this much by now. It doesn't happen as often as it did before summer, but Kagami can't tell if it happens more or less than first year of high school. He wasn’t paying enough attention back then. One thing is definitely different, though. The causation from a source of exhaustion towards losing consciousness is not as straightforward to follow as it once was.

Kagami enters the room as quietly as he can do anything. Kuroko's easy, steady breathing calms his mind in a second. His jaw unclenches, his shoulders relax, but these changes are so small that Kagami himself cannot tell they are happening. His focus is on the unlikely sight on the bed. The eager dog and the grumpy cat are getting along. It makes Kagami grin a little, he thinks they would only do that for Kuroko's sake. When they can tell it isn’t the time to fight for his attention.

Kagami sits down on the bed. It creaks too, but like a whisper. A strand of hair on Kuroko's face seems to call him to wipe it away. Kagami doesn't intend to wake Kuroko, but he wonders if his face is paler, or feels colder to the touch than normal. He cannot decide. Kuroko looks peaceful, and a sigh escapes Kagami. His own worry brings the thought of Kuroko’s father back to his mind now. As much as he isn't appreciative of the fact that his place in the man’s good graces could be taken away on a whim, no matter how hard he has worked to earn it... there's also the fact that Kagami understands his worry. It isn't as misplaced as one might think at first. Excessive, maybe, but not untrue.

Kagami hasn’t seen everything that happens under the roof of this house. He doesn’t know about the morning Kuroko was brushing his teeth in the bathroom, and suddenly he wasn’t. His father heard the sound of glass shattering against the floor tiles. He broke the door open. Kuroko wasn’t hurt, but afterwards he was no longer allowed to lock the bathroom door and his toothbrush would always sit in a plastic cup since then. Kagami is still unaware of all the incidents that have piled up over the years, because Kuroko is always a little too true to his life style. You won’t see what is happening behind the scenes, unless you make conscious effort to find out.

And yet, the ultimate point of discovery always comes. It is now demonstrably true that Kuroko’s father was not wrong about the dangers of fainting. Kagami is the last person to argue.

And then, there was always the other thing.

Now, looking at the love of his young life, asleep, unguarded, Kagami thinks that he understands Kuroko’s energy better. It's not that there's nothing coming from him. It's that most of it goes past people. But that doesn't mean there's no mark left, somewhere in their mind. A vague sense of having missed something. Kagami is not articulate enough to put it into words, but he can sense it with more clarity these days, an energy that dissolves itself to accentuate its duality. An energy that hits the point of full overlap. The mistake is easy to make, but it is not a neutral energy, it is not "neither". It is "either", it is both, and that's what confuses people. It doesn't fit into the dual world view despite of encapsulating it. It isn’t about the shoulds and shouldn’ts people assign each other. It isn’t about your role, even if crafting that can be used to communicate what’s deeper than that. The truth resides where the words to describe it end. People can tell on instinct. And you can see it in the underlying patterns of how they treat each other.

It took Kagami a while to see, but Kuroko's father's actions were never simple either. After a while though, they do speak louder than words. It becomes apparent to the one who knows what to look for, that the man isn't just punishing his son for kissing a boy. He is also, no matter how much discrepancy acting on the underlying instinct causes in him, protecting his daughter from said boy. There is no way Kuroko's father understands this, Kagami thinks. Kagami would not have been able to see it for what it is on his own before he had the right context. But that is how Kuroko’s father acts, regardless.

That man is far from the only one expressing a view of Kuroko more inconsistent, more easily shifting, than people on average have of each other. He’s only unique in that he’s the father, and the one most conflicted because of it.

After Kagami was aware of it, he could see it everywhere, in the smallest and the broadest strokes. To Kuroko’s father, the ultimate burden of proof always rested upon Kagami's shoulders. It wasn’t even an undertone. He made it perfectly clear he would accept their relationship, but only as long as Kagami had proved himself good enough. Just like that, the father’s frame of reference shifted from “I cannot let this half foreigner corrupt my son” to “I suppose I can accept this relationship as long as this boy’s affection appears to me as identical to a man’s love for a woman”. Because with someone like Kuroko, the shift in projection happens with an amount of incongruence that is right below the threshold. It’s just mild enough to ignore.

The question is… where do projection and the truth, the push and the pull, meet?

Kagami knows that identity doesn't always coincide with people's perceptions of you. But he is also beginning to see that it more often coincides with people's subconscious, underlying perception than the overt, literal one. He can't explain it, but he feels how it is in the ways people approach and respond to each other when they don’t think about it, in the ways those interactions make you feel, where the direction of pressure, stress, ease and flow are. He understands, on some, subconscious level, that it’s one thing to be viewed as something you “shouldn’t” be when it misses the mark, and another thing when something inside of you resonates with that perception reflected back to you in the eyes of others.

None of this was ever an issue to Kagami. Even the fact that the most reluctant person to accept that the truth resides somewhere in the contradictory ways people perceive him, is Kuroko himself, doesn't bother Kagami to any mentionable extent anymore. No, it's always the same crux in the end. It's because malicious people can pick and choose what they see. How it follows, that residing anywhere in the ambiguous territory makes it harder than average to anticipate what kind of violence you'll be the target for. It’s not necessarily more or less. It’s just less of one kind.

Kagami is not worried because he thinks that Kuroko inherently needs more protection than the average person. He’s worried because he can sense what he can’t explain. In his gut, he knows that a desire to deny the relationships between certain aspects of yourself and the world makes you blind to where exactly the crossroads with the biggest risks for you, are. And Kagami has seen Kuroko do that on multiple areas of his life. It’s not that it’s just Kuroko’s own fault. It’s not that he should know better. How could he know better?

In that sense, Kagami understands Kuroko's father, even if he doesn't agree with the man’s methods of protection. Kagami thinks there’s another kind of misdirection Kuroko can learn. The kind that allows him to control or at least anticipate how people will see him. Maybe then, Kuroko could feel more secure in all of this. Less reserved. Wouldn't have to so carefully put away anything he might wish to express about himself. Not for fear of attracting the wrong kind of attention.

What no one in this house, not even Granny for all her wisdom, understands in this particular instance, is how much comes down to a word. A word Kagami has, a word Kuroko has grudgingly accepted as the only explanation for the way he feels, a word Granny has accepted all too eagerly in Kuroko’s opinion, a word Kuroko’s father doesn’t have. Because a word; all the knowledge and understanding it opens, or the lack of it, translates into action. Kuroko’s father, quite literally, doesn’t know what he’s doing... or does he? Is it possible that he, in turn, has a word Kagami does not have?

Kagami never really felt like he needed words before. He was fine with just instinct. Kuroko confessed as much at one point too. Being with Kagami was like a wordless bubble where he could be fully who he was, no questions asked, because he felt that Kagami saw him and got him right from the beginning. But the rest of the world couldn’t measure up, and you have to live outside of the bubble too.

Kagami leans closer on the bed, caresses Kuroko's nose lightly with his, barely brushes against the sleepy lips with his own. They have agreed a long time ago that it's okay to kiss, even if the other is asleep. But Kagami is too in his head to notice the slight change to Kuroko's breathing, when he lets uncharacteristically quiet words into the air.

– Hey, I know you still... hide so many things. Even from me. Even from you.

Kagami thinks Kuroko is still asleep. He scratches his head.

– It's not like I'm holding my breath, or anything. You don't have to tell me. Even if you never want to share your unfinished thoughts... Even if they’ll just remain unfinished, I don't care. Not really. It's not like I haven't already got everything that matters, you know... with you.

Kagami lets out a dry sigh and looks away.

– I have no clue what the future holds for you. It's not like I spend much time thinking beyond tomorrow anyway... It's just... a feeling, I guess. That I sometimes have. When I look at you. Don’t know what makes me think it. But it's like... there's something left. Something... that has been in your words for so long. Not just words. Everything. Maybe since the beginning. Something you know but you don't know. If your mind doesn't know it, maybe your body knows it or something. I'm not smart enough to put it together for you. I would, if I could, but...

Had Kagami been aware that Kuroko was listening, he would have stopped talking already. For a while Kuroko was so torn over the possibility of any conflict of identity. Like it was literally the last thing he needed in his life. The worst nightmare. Kagami feels ashamed about not understanding how it could be that big of a deal. He barely had any prejudice about who he was attracted to, at any point in his life. He could on some level and contexts be described as a lot more gender-blind than average, although it’s too conceptual for him to put like that himself. That is the reason he didn’t care, regardless. Why it was difficult for him to understand how something that always fit their relationship perfectly as long as it was wordless, unspoken, never pointed at, suddenly made Kuroko insecure, when it had a name. Not just with the rest of the world, but around Kagami too.

Things with names begin to take a clearer shape. To become more visible. Words have the power to affect how we see and what we see.

Kagami is aware of his mistake now. Even after Kuroko admitted to the core of his complicated feelings, the sense of caution didn't leave Kagami. He said too much once.

Kagami is no longer gripped by his own insecurities it sparked, and his circumstances over the summer forced him to understand none of it was caused by anything in Kuroko. After the summer, Kagami no longer questions how letting something to the surface—or being ambushed by it from the depths, could cause a sudden aversion to that which was just going along with the flow before in the undercurrent, away from your immediate consciousness. He understands all too well. About things that can alter your sense of reality and self. About things you cannot control.

– I guess I just wish you knew that I don't care, but that’s like, in a good way, and I'll be there, because I obviously do care, you know. I’ll be there whatever you'll do. And I can't say this to you, because then you'll think that I think you'll do something specific which I’m just not saying out loud. But it's not like that. It's so much vaguer than that, it's... more like there's still a piece of the puzzle missing. The piece that will... tie everything together in some new way. Everything you don’t know what to do with.

Kagami rolls his eyes and leans the bridge of his nose on his knuckles.

– I sound mental...

He turns away from Kuroko and lies down on his back next to the sleepy trio. In truth, Kuroko is now aware of Kagami’s every word and every movement, and something in him illuminates from the inside for the thousandth time, clinging to all of that, not like a lifeline, not like a string of light, but like a microscopic pattern that shouldn’t matter but changes everything anyway.

And then, Kagami says one more thing.

– You’re gonna be fine, you know. Because where the world puts an “or” you’ll always find a way to have an “and”.

At the last word, Kuroko’s heart races, and his eyes sting, but none of it is visible from the outside, just like everything else that has been hidden inside him, everything that still never was, and never will be hidden as well as he would like, everything he believes should stay hidden. Kuroko will believe that for some time still. The clock is ticking past midnight. The ocean waves are crashing too hard. The lake seems perfectly still, but sometimes, especially when the boy lying on his back next to Kuroko is close, there are ripples.

-------------------------

Some appropriate music I listened to:

#knb fic #kagakuro #TOTverse spoilers #but it's still a standalone #a confusing one maybe but still

[evelhak]

For the character ask: numbers and characters that you feel like people should know more about. If you’re feeling like it. ;)

I don't know about "should" since these are just my headcanons, but... Since this was satisfyingly open-ended and I was feeling like drawing, I'm gonna answer in pictures and leave it up to the viewer to decide what questions these answer. 😇

(I hope no one takes the last joke too seriously, it's just a joke that makes sense in the context of my fic.)

#knb #knb headcanons #TOTverse spoilers #kagakuro #midotaka #aomomo

[evelhak]

For the mini fic ship: KagaKuro

Thank you for my favourite ship. 💙 Since there was no specific number, I picked the one that spoke to me at the moment. Vague hints I left hanging in my previous mini fic, pulled me towards something I wrote in the past, so this is a reinterpretation of a scene I have written before in my massive KagaKuro fic. I hope you enjoy.

Mini(?) fic: Inevitable World Prompt: Things you said after you kissed me Pairing: demisexual!Kagami/asexual!Kuroko Timeframe: Second year of high school Rating: Teen and up

---Inevitable World---

They were seen by the old woman in the neighbourhood the first time they kissed. It wasn’t their neighbourhood, and the woman on the window wasn’t known for being any particular kind of menace in it. She didn’t think that much about seeing two boys kiss on the balcony. A youthful experiment, probably, she figured. They were that age, and she thought it was better to take their frustration out on each other a little, than to get caught up in something more dangerous. She was 76 at the time, and fancied herself a rather reasonable person. She would have minded her own business, gone back to her sudoku and her cup of tea, had she not happened to see the smaller boy being lifted up, the way his legs wrapped around the taller boy’s waist, how the taller one's arms and hands clung to him... oh, yes, better call the man who owns that summer house, after all, she thought. She hadn’t been in touch with him much after he had moved overseas, and the house on the other side of the road had been rented to however many people over the years. But the old woman still recognised the man’s son. You didn’t see hair like that every day.

Kagami would later learn they had been seen, from his father, who would call to inquire about the curious incident on the balcony. Kagami would think, what were the odds? Nobody saw him run around the yard stark naked two days earlier, but of course someone had to see him kiss the invisible boy on the balcony and call his father about it.

Kuroko, on the other hand, was completely oblivious in his act of wrapping his legs around Kagami’s waist, unaware that it could be seen as an expression of lust from the eyes of an outside viewer. For him, it was purely about conquering the height difference and giving their necks a break.

Indeed, it was the lack of lust that almost had Kuroko back off only moments later, from what they had just discovered on the balcony. As soon as the high of kissing the person you had been falling for, for longer than a year, was subsiding, the reality that you were, once again, in the position of lacking everything that would traditionally be expected of you, hit harder than the unfortunately timed wave from yesterday. Kagami had been so scared then that he had cried. Kuroko hadn’t. He’d barely felt anything. He had been so baffled. This time, Kuroko felt everything, so he cried, and Kagami who was completely baffled at Kuroko’s reaction, didn’t.

It was just different. This situation between them was so different from everything Kuroko was used to. It was so much more personal, so much more intimate. Kuroko’s success at compensating for everything he lacked was so tied to being able to hide things. How was he going to compensate for this? When all this was happening on a level of closeness that was supposed to reveal things instead? They were always uncovering things about each other. That’s why they took turns crying too.

– I won’t be enough for you, Kuroko said when Kagami stepped after him, down the stairs of the summer house, and held him, not letting him escape, as the root insecurity, everything he’d ever felt was lacking about himself, seemed to crystallize in its most insurmountable form in this one thing. Because it was inescapable. You couldn’t get around this by being smart enough, creative enough, stubborn enough. There was no trick. And even if there was, Kuroko wouldn’t want to use it, wouldn’t be able to use it. To be true, was the only way to be in a relationship.

Kagami was still trying to figure out why on earth Kuroko was trying to run away from him now. He couldn’t, in any universe, imagine how Kuroko would ever not be enough for him. It was Kuroko, for god’s sake. The feeling didn’t even register as “love” to Kagami yet. It just registered as “Kuroko” because his feelings were so big that it was as if the world was named after the person he felt all those feelings for. As if the world was that person.

Kagami didn’t have words for the enormity of those feelings yet. He couldn’t have been praised for his way with words to being with. In no way could he express that there was nothing he could wish that Kuroko was more like, or had more of, because all Kagami wanted was Kuroko, for all he was, not for something that he wasn’t.

After some unsuccessful back and forth, Kagami did come up with the closest approximation, though.

– There’s nothing... nothing, you could possibly say at this point that would convince me that we shouldn’t be together.

In the end those words, and Kagami’s arms around Kuroko, and his easy laugh, like the matter really was that simple to him, wore Kuroko’s fears down.

They did, however, talk past each other a little. A little more than a little. Kagami thought Kuroko was saying he wouldn’t be enough for Kagami because he couldn’t have sex with him. Kagami didn’t care, it hadn’t been a high priority in his life until then, and he wasn’t thinking about that stuff, yet anyway, when he looked at Kuroko. He didn’t care about what would happen if he started to, he figured they would just deal with whatever problems they might face when they would face them. Kuroko’s side of things was slightly more complicated than that. He wasn’t saying he would never want to have a sexual relationship. He was a lot more concerned that if they did, it wouldn’t be fulfilling for Kagami, because Kuroko wouldn’t be able to match his sexual energy. He wasn’t sure he could take that rejection. Being told he wasn’t enough for something he had no control over. He already had a strong inkling it wasn’t something you could learn.

Both still had a long way to go, to stop assuming too many things about each other. For now, they were too content in each other’s arms, and the moment slipped into bliss again, both of their focus turning away from anything that could be or go wrong, and towards each other, the warmth of another’s skin, the rhythm of their breathing, the proximity of everything about each other they had never had the chance to get so lost in before.

Later, it was hard to tell whether their first kiss was on the balcony, or if the whole day was their first kiss. It didn’t quite seem to end. It’s not that they didn’t do anything else that day, they ate, and they talked a lot, but everything did seem, to a great extent, to be controlled by the flow of the pull towards each other now that there was finally nothing stopping them, and it seemed to effortlessly translate into a sequence of kissing in every room, every corner, every window and pretty much every piece of furniture in that summer house that had turned from unnecessarily to delightfully big.

Had either of them had any real experience with dating, maybe they would have understood how just the kiss served as an extension of their compatibility, and it would have reflected to them how unlikely it was they would have to worry about suddenly turning out to be completely different people in another context. Even if Kuroko had limited initiative energy, even if all of it had gone into that short moment he kissed Kagami on the balcony, it didn’t matter, because if Kuroko only had a short window he could do something, he was getting pretty good at knowing how to use it. And that one first pull was always going to be all that it would take to ignite fire in Kagami, to unleash that force that would continue to push them forward. The invitation to go nuts. He would not be able to keep his eyes, and hands, and lips away from Kuroko for more than moments, afterwards. Which was exactly what Kuroko wanted more than anything, because his truest energy was of different kind. He needed something from the other person, to do anything, but once he had that, magic happened. After Kagami kept coming for him, after that endless, active, fiery energy was out there, Kuroko could do pretty much what he wanted with it, and Kagami would be okay with that, because they had what mattered, that kind of trust. Kagami had the power to keep them going, and Kuroko knew where they were going. Both of them would always have an aspect of control and an aspect of submitting to one another in a loop that would keep feeding itself. A mutual giving to take and taking to give.

Both of them would say, if you asked them right then, that they understood the concept of being too young for the power you had. They would be wrong. After everything, they still had no idea what it meant to have in your teens what some people would not have in a lifetime.

And so, that hot summer evening, away from the waves and prying neighbours’ eyes, wrapped up in a world so inevitably their own, they kissed. There were four sofas in the house. This was the third of them. Kuroko’s legs where sideways over Kagami’s, Kagami’s arms around Kuroko’s waist, Kuroko’s around Kagami’s neck, their heads in a comfortable haze. The refrigerator hummed in the kitchen, the open balcony door creaked in a sudden gust of wind, a spider ran across the floor, leading to a caterpillar’s doom. These things were not in their world. It revolved around their lips, which suddenly seemed like the most sensitive part of their body, every connection between them clearer and more meaningful than words, in this new part of their world. The part where they touched each other in ways they never really had believed they would.

Still, sometimes, they talked.

– How do people stop this? muttered Kagami, resting his forehead against Kuroko’s.

– Do you want to stop? Kuroko asked, opening his eyes to look at Kagami’s, which were too close to see clearly.

– No, Kagami practically snorted.

– That’s good.

– Yeah?

– There can’t possibly be anything that would suggest otherwise to you.

That drew a laugh out of Kagami. Their touching noses made Kuroko smile softly. Then Kagami was all over him again. So eagerly, but so softly too. In that moment, Kuroko wanted nothing but to let Kagami do what he wanted, to satisfy his own curiosity by finding out, and to feel everything, to know everything he hadn’t known before, to see where it would go. Anything quite that inquisitive was pretty far down Kagami’s list of concerns then, but in his way, he wanted to know too. He wanted to taste, he wanted to sense in all the ways that would set him aflame inside again, and he wanted to marvel at the small miracle that Kuroko really was in his arms like this, and he didn’t seem to want to go away. Kuroko was there, and he was both softer and more solid than Kagami had realised, not like a ghost at all, and he was both more daring and shyer than Kagami had anticipated, even though he should have already known all of this, but it was quite new and overwhelming in this context. As for Kuroko, no matter how big and bright Kagami had always been to him, it seemed to suddenly have all these added layers, and caused surprising feelings of being caught in an intoxicating conflict of safety of the strong arms around him and the danger of his own feelings.

Kuroko’s lips pulled on Kagami’s lower lip, much like Kagami had done to him up on the balcony, just harder. It caused Kagami to press his mouth on Kuroko’s so strongly and suddenly that Kuroko had to free his arms to keep himself from sliding off the sofa.

At night, under a shared blanket, after all the talk that goes into defining your relationship once you can finally free your mouths for long enough to get to all of that, Kuroko moved close enough to press his nose against Kagami’s collarbone, to lean his face into the hollow of his neck.

– I won’t have to freak out if we wake up like this again, Kuroko said quietly, making Kagami let out a short laugh.

– You were freaking out?

– To put it mildly.

– Could’ve fooled me…

– You didn’t seem to be freaking out.

– Well, sorry if I was too freaked out over something else…

Kuroko didn’t want to lead Kagami there again. Everything was such bliss. He snuggled closer.

– Kagami-kun?

– What?

His hand fiddled with Kuroko’s hair.

– You smell so good.

Kuroko wouldn’t see it in the dark, but he still thought that Kagami must have been blushing then. He was right.

Then, he felt Kagami swallow.

– Kuroko...

– Yes?

A short silence followed, then Kagami’s hand on Kuroko’s hair stopped abruptly and pulled Kuroko’s face stronger against him.

– Just... promise me you’re never gonna drown again. Just... don’t.

Kuroko tensed as he felt Kagami’s heartbeat rise again, thinking he had failed to make Kagami embarrassed enough to distract him. Then he pulled Kagami’s hand from his head, and slid upwards on the bed, enough to wrap his arms around Kagami’s head and shoulders, to pull him against his chest. Kagami’s arms wrapped around Kuroko, pressing himself closer.

– I can’t say I know what the statistics would say about the likelihood of something like that happening twice, but I feel pretty confident in thinking they would be in my favour, Kuroko said softly. – So... as confidently as I can promise anything where the forces of nature are involved... I promise.

Kagami nodded against him.

– Okay.

Kuroko didn’t hear the panic or the devastation from yesterday in Kagami’s voice, but he felt it was still better to hold onto him like this for a while longer.

– I’m here, he whispered then. Kagami’s grip around him tightened in response. Kuroko didn’t know it from this angle, but his heart was already calming down.

– I know.

Kuroko’s touch had always brought Kagami back to his senses. He was going to take the full advantage of it, if from now on that would entail a lot more soft, comforting touches like this instead of the more common rough ones. Sometimes Kagami’s feelings seemed like an endless abyss to himself, but here in the safety and warmth he couldn’t really even see the edge anymore.

– If I’m now your partner in more than one way, I would say you will have it twice as difficult getting rid of me, even if you wanted to, Kuroko said, making Kagami chuckle quietly against him.

– That’s not a challenge, right?

– No, Kuroko whispered so sincerely it melted Kagami’s heart for him a little more at a point where any more melting was already unnecessary.

– Well... maybe you’re right. Maybe I don’t always need a challenge.

– Oh, Kuroko said, so lightly it was practically a breath.

– What do you need then? he asked after a moment.

Completely aware that Kuroko had prompted him to say it, Kagami was eager to give the most predictable answer.

– Maybe just... you. Right now. Sometimes.

Kuroko moved down enough to bury his face into Kagami’s hair. He really did love that warm and salty smell. It made his head feel all soft and a little bit stupid. Soon, Kagami grabbed his arm and pulled him down more, made him slide on the bed so easily it caused a tickle of excitement inside Kuroko. Had they been able to form such thoughts while their world was momentarily all about lips again, they would have enjoyed the fact that on day one of being boyfriends, it was already impossible to tell how many times they had kissed.

-------------------------

Some appropriate music I listened to:

#knb fic #kagakuro #TOTverse spoilers #first kiss

[evelhak]

Does anyone want to help me name a guy who challenged Kise to quadball (=quidditch)?

#knb fic #TOTverse spoilers

[evelhak]

If you're still doing the character ask game, I need to hear Tetsuya, all numbers please 👀🩵

Oh, wow. You most certainly shall have it. (Prepare to be here for a while.)

1. My first impression of them

Probably something like "cool, my favourite colour". I definitely had zero deep thoughts about him (or anyone) in the beginning, since I process feelings pretty slowly.

2. When I think I truly started to like them

Probably towards the end of season 2. (But hey, still on first watch.) Not because there was any particular moment that caused it, must have just had enough processing time around then, and enough information for points of connection.

3. A song that reminds me of them

Ahem. I'll attempt to narrow it down.

You're lucky the post limit is ten.

4. How many people I ship them with

One, really. Just Kagami. But that doesn't mean nothing besides that happens in my fics. Relationships are messy, so it's not like I'm preventing Kuroko from having any attraction towards other people, or anyone else to him.

5. My favourite ship of them

KagaKuro it is. I live for relationships that are based on trust, commitment and insane merging with another in an activity that both love. I don't need ships that feel surprising or outside the box, I need ships that feel real. I also don't need angst and toxicity. Of course there will always be problems in any relationship, but I want the general tone to be that of growth and positivity. A particular aspect that really made me fall in love with their love was the growth from dependent on each other to working on themselves as individuals to be stronger together, which leads to not needing to be together but still deciding to do so because they want to, which is beautiful. That's an aspect I love to explore further in my writing.

6. My least favourite ship of them.

I feel like I've answered this before, but it's Momoi. It literally makes my skin crawl to see stuff about them, (especially stuff that treats them as a natural progression of the story as if that's totally reasonable) and that's a strangely strong reaction from me, but it has to do with how Momoi's "crush" is depicted. I think there's something that really underestimates both characters in it, turning them into a joke that isn't funny at all. It's old news that women violating physical boundaries is seen as harmless and funny or even cute (truly despicable) but it really needs to stop. I also hate that Momoi's feelings are depicted in an incredibly shallow way that dumbs her down. I'm supposed to believe that a character as smart and confident as her will fall head over heels for someone she thought nothing of before, for the first random act of kindness? Yes, there absolutely are people who are so deprived of love and attention that they will do that, and it's not their fault, but I think it's dishonest to depict Momoi as someone who will confuse love and/or attraction with gratitude that hard. Sure, it doesn't take a genius to see that she sometimes feels left out because she's a girl, but that is incongruent as a reason for this too, because she's obviously looking for deeper friendship when she looks at everyone else longingly, so to think that she instantly fell in love as an answer to that doesn't make any sense. The only answer to this behaviour is self-deception, in a complexity that does justice to her character.

This is getting long, and I didn't even touch on Kuroko's side of things but really, you can read all about it in my fic, if you're interested.

7. A quote from them that you remember

I think I've answered this rather seriously before, so let's pick a funnier one. (at least a little.) I don't remember the exact wording, but it's the quote about there always being a slight chance that a meteorite will strike at the last seconds of the game. It's funny to me because I've said literally the same thing prior to seeing KnB, and I think it demonstrates in such a funny way both the strength and weakness of a brain that tends to ignore physical reality in favour of fantasy. The strength is obviously that you can find what you need for your desired outcome in almost anything, you can always imagine a way your fantasy will become reality, and so never lose hope, but the weakness is pretty obviously that not being so grounded in physical reality makes you rather clumsy and inconsistent with concrete physical tasks. Possibly it's not so funny to someone else, but it's funny to me as someone who has always been 1000% willpower, meanwhile struggling to develop physical abilities to even passably match that willpower. BUT when you do get there, magic happens. I would say it's desirable to have your head in the clouds and feet on the ground.

8. Your favourite outfit of them

I do like striped t-shirts.

9. Your least favourite outfit of them

Orange t-shirt. Wtf are you doing Kuroko, you have blue hair! Do you want to look dead?

10. Describe the character in one sentence

An impossibly relatable myriad of contradictions.

11. What's the first thing you think about when thinking about the character

Probably either the fandom here on Tumblr, or my own fics. Because those are the things that are in my daily life.

12. Sexuality hc!

Asexual and gray-romantic. That's how I just always read Kuroko in the anime and manga. I know a lot of people tend to automatically headcanon characters who display no opposite sex attraction as being gay, which is valid, but I am asexual myself so of course I'm more likely to start to wonder if someone is ace when they display neither opposite nor same sex attraction in a way that is clearly sexual. I see no evidence of it in canon, even Kagami seems to have some inclination towards being interested in sexual things compared to Kuroko. So Kuroko might just as well be ace. Which is HILARIOUS because it's called the invisible orientation sometimes. That's why I'll never let go of this headcanon. Literally who would be better asexual representation? Asexuality can even be one factor why Kuroko has so little presence. Apparently, people exchange sexual energy all the time, and if you don't emit, receive or respond to it, people may not even notice you. (It's a hypothesis but based on my experience there might be something to it.) Obviously that would be just one reason in something that is more complex, but that's just what makes it interesting to me, when multiple factors come together. Anyway, I do see latent romantic attraction there, but I don't think it's ever strong enough for Kuroko to act upon until Kagami of course. I don't think he's necessarily even aware of it. I do think that attraction is leaning towards men, though. However, he's very very particular. Only Kagami is able to break the threshold, haha. Also, thinking Kuroko is asexual doesn't necessarily mean I think he's sex-averse (since someone people still don't understand the difference.)

13. Your favourite friendship they have

I just talked about the negative aspects of their relationship, so it might not be obvious, unless you've seen a post where I talk about this, but it's with Momoi, and it's precisely because I think their friendship and actual points of connection were largely ignored in canon. They both feel slightly like outsiders, they both have made observing people in different ways their forte, which I think means they both have a natural interest for it, they are the most naturally socially inclined in their Teiko team (besides Akashi, but he's in a different way from them). They even have this pastel colour coding thing going on. And I think it's super tone-deaf to not have any explicit comparison between Kuroko's and Momoi's experiences of being ignored because she is definitely ignored too, yes in a different way, but the more important difference is that people don't even notice she is, and the fandom does it too. (Newsflash, the reason is misogyny.) There should definitely be similar comparison between Kuroko and Momoi as there is between Kuroko and Takao. As if being a "supporting character" is profound when a guy does it, but when a girl does it, it's just what she was supposed to do all along anyway, so no one even pays attention. Another point I can't help but see is, that if Kuroko was a girl, Momoi would definitely be that extrovert friend who adopts the introvert friend, and they would be besties like none you'd ever seen. Momoi would still bury Kuroko in hugs, but in a way more genuine way in which that over-enthusiasm wouldn't be out of place or shallow. But all of that deep friendship potential is ignored. In short, there is a shit ton to explore in their relationship, and I'm doing just that.

14. Best storyline they had

I don't know if I can answer anything else than the whole thing? I just love the whole premise and how it plays out. I love that the story is committed to the perspective of someone with significant limitations in power: Kuroko doesn't magically "win the lottery" and actually become the most powerful being, like protagonists usually do, in series like Naruto and Boku no Hero Academia. Kuroko's story is a lot like "the heroine's journey" and actually commits to the unattractive parts of it, meanwhile so many other stories just use the sexy parts of the heroine's journey to spice up the hero's journey and create emotion porn. That's why Kuroko is actually relatable to people who know that the ultimate power fantasy is out of their reach: he finds an alternative way to be strong, he actually has to be smart to overcome his limitations in power. I know some people love escaping to power fantasies, but I really appreciate these grounded aspects in this otherwise fantastical story. Even though the way to Seirin's win is paved with unexplained power of friendship moves that make no practical sense, the result doesn't feel like lazy storytelling because of this commitment.

15. Worst storyline they had

Hmm, there's no bad storyline in my opinion, so I'm just going to have to continue with how much more there would still be to get out of the overarching story with some added female perspective. So many of Kuroko's struggles are totally average struggles of women. Having less raw strength than the average person you'll be facing? Being ignored on a daily basis? Going out of your way to be the emotional glue because no one else will do it? Not being taken seriously? Your boundaries being constantly violated? Obviously, I'm not saying this doesn't happen to men. I'm saying this happens particularly to men who are thought of as feminine. So I think it's really sad that stories like this ignore how many struggles people who are perceived to be feminine, share. It's sad that misogyny prevents stories like these from getting out of the male centric narrative and keep isolating the male and female characters from each other even though they share so many experiences. So, the worst storyline is the lack of acknowledgement that it should have also always been a female storyline in addition to everything great it already does.

16. A childhood headcanon

Kuroko loved to pretend play that ghosts and spirits like poltergeist exist, and they are misunderstood and someone just needs to find the right words to talk to them, so he went looking for them in dark and mysterious places like a forest or an attic if he was near one.

17. What do you think their first word was?

"Granny" because she was always home more than Kuroko's parents.

18. How do you think they were as a kid?

I think Kuroko was significantly more shy, quiet and socially awkward, but also more animated and emotive. He had to grow a thicker skin and hide major parts of himself to survive in a harsh social world.

19. The most random ship you've seen people have with them?

Who haven't I seen? Kuroko no harem indeed. Probably like... Imayoshi or Kasamatsu? Which is like... why? Where is the chemistry? The foundation? The thematic significance? At least I understand why some people think it's hot to ship Kuroko with Hanamiya or the Jabberwock, like, I theoretically understand that some people find antagonists who demean someone and beat them up to be smashing boyfriend material, or if not that, at least some basic porn, but I don't think I will ever understand the people who seem like they are looking for ships with pretty much nothing in it. I guess they want to create everything themselves, maybe?

20. A weird headcanon

Kuroko wrote some angsty poetry in middle school and ended up burying it underground because he was embarrassed by it. I have no clue where this came from? I don't know if it's that weird, but it's the most baseless thing I've ever written in my fic. (I make sure my wilder shit is canon based even if it's an unlikely interpretation.)

21. When do you think they were at their happiest?

Besides Seirin's win and reuniting with the GOM, I think in early childhood when it was mostly just Kuroko and Granny who was really loving and showed him the magical world of stories, painting him a picture that he could do anything and be anything he wanted, and he didn't really know the real world wasn't as kind, yet.

22. When do you think they were at their lowest?

Besides end of middle school, at the spring of third year in high school. (Oops, spoilers for TOT!)

23. Future headcanon

Oh dear. Oh dear indeed. Do I have plans. Some that I feel like I'll be hanged for.

Oh well, let's just say that Kuroko and Kagami will definitely get married, since that's both obvious and safe.

24. What do you think is a secret they have that they never told anyone?

Argh, it's so hard for me to answer these because all secrets I think Kuroko has are, again, spoilers for my fic. A lot of them are still secrets to Kuroko as well, for quite some time.

Well, I don't think he told anyone he's asexual, out of self-preservation. (Untill he does.)

25. When do you think they acted the most ooc

Hmm, I don't have anything big, but it always felt a little strange to me that Kuroko decided to comfort Momoi by touching her head, as opposed to a shoulder or something, because Kuroko evidently doesn't like people touching his head. It seemed strange that he wouldn't consider it might be annoying to someone else too. Of course, I can come up with multiple explanations for this. There's no reason why he wouldn't know that it's in fact something that Momoi likes. Or he could have been trying to come up with the most platonic way to comfort someone he could think of, and it turned out strange. I'm sure there could be other explanations, too.

26. When do you think they were being "themselves" the most?

I think increasingly towards the end of the series, because he would gradually open up and relax more around people.

27. If they could meet a character from another show/movie/etc, who would be the most fun for them to meet?

I kind of dislike crossovers like this but... well, if I must choose, I guess it would be quite interesting if Kuroko could meet one of my own characters. Maybe the other protagonist from my debut novel, who is a literally invisible creature who would totally make Kuroko think that he was right in the childhood headcanon mentioned above.

28. The most unnecessary thing they ever did?

Hmm, I think Kuroko went a bit far about teasing Kagami with Nigou sometimes. I know it's hard to get if you don't have an irrational phobia, but it's not really a funny experience. It could be retraumatizing.

29. How do you think they would be as a parent?

The major spoiler questions just keep coming, geez. Obviously Kuroko will be a gentle and loving parent. It's just that I want to blurt all my fic plans out now. But I can't. All I can promise is that it's going to get... interesting. I have a habit of synthesizing canon and fanon in ways that make seemingly contradictory aspects blend together. Let's just say that I'll make liberal use of some loved and hated fan fic traditions in the topic of parenthood. I promise it's going to be a bit out there. Actually about as out there as basketball is in canon. Theoretically real. Which is kind of my point. (Presicely my point.)

30. The funniest scene they had?

Honestly, it's when Kuroko is looking at Kagami, mouth open and seeing him shining literal light, pfft. There's no way to watch that shit with a straight face, and no pun intended.

Thank you for asking me, I hope you had fun reading this, you deserve so much fun after working for entrance exams! I'm so happy about your success. ❤️ If you liked this answer, I'll always be down to do it for another character or just talk about things privately too. ✨

#knb #kuroko #kinda sorta TOTverse spoilers #mild ones

[evelhak]

!! ship ask meme: can i see either kagakuro or aomomoi :3

No, actually I'd prefer you see both because I love them. 😇

(in case anyone cares, some of these are spoilers for my TOTverse.)

KagaKuro

Who said “I love you” first

Kagami. They were both kind of unsure what the right time to say it would be but Kagami just cracked first.

Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background

Kagami would want to but he would be too embarrassed that others would see it. Kuroko might have a funny picture like Kagami with tiger ears or something that isn't obviously romantic and can be interpreted as merely an attempt to torment Kagami should someone see it.

Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror

There's no way Kuroko wouldn't at least once leave a horror movie style note at a time Kagami was in the shower and unaware Kuroko was in his apartment. However, Kagami would realise it was Kuroko in about three seconds. Kagami would be the one to leave a cheesy note or two at a point in the future when he gets over himself.

Who buys the other cheesy gifts

Kagami would more easily slip into a truly cheesy gift realm when he's not self-conscious and gets all up in his feelings. Kuroko would be more aware of where the line goes, and more intentional about nuance and connotations so he would never be as cheesy as Kagami is at his worst. But most of the time Kagami is just sweet, though. I always loved the idea of him giving Kuroko a safety reflector that read "stay visible".

Who initiated the first kiss

Kuroko. (I kind of drew it already.) He wouldn't have done it if Kagami hadn't been obviously about to confess and then suddenly change his mind, leaving Kuroko too frustrated to let the moment pass.

Who kisses the other awake in the morning

Both but not frequently.

Who starts tickle fights

Neither because Kuroko hates it and Kagami basically loses all his will to annoy Kuroko as soon as they start dating.

Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower

Kuroko, since Kagami is too embarrassed to do something like that for a long time, but when he gets over it (probably after years of being together) I'm sure he's not gonna ask, he'll just walk in.

Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch

Okay this is kind of far in the future since my fic still hasn't graduated high school (though it will soon) but I think neither because I don't think their work life will exactly make something like that easy.

Who was nervous and shy on the first date

It's hard to pin down their first date since they were already spending most of their time together as friends who slowly grew towards dating, but they were both nervous and shy ever since they began to realise their relationship was changing.

Who kills/takes out the spiders

Kuroko just lets them live in the house, after all they take care of far more annoying bugs. Unless there's someone around who can't handle seeing a spider, in which case he would take it out. Kagami wouldn't really care either I think, except when he's in a mood and everything gets on his nerves, then he would just step on them out of irritation. But then he would feel bad later and next time he would take the spider out, until he got too irritated again.

Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk

Kagami.

AoMomo

Who said “I love you” first

Hmm. It was more like Momoi said "I knew you loved me!" and Aomine managed to express agreement so I'm not exactly sure.

Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background

Aomine. Momoi might have a picture they're both in, for a while, but then she would snap out of it and not want to be such an embarrassing couple.

Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror

Momoi, not because she genuinely feels like expressing her feelings that way, but because she knows it embarrasses and secretly pleases Aomine.

Who buys the other cheesy gifts

I think they both buy rather practical gifts with varying degrees of emotion in them, so I don't really see either as easily cheesy. Momoi might again do it to annoy Aomine at some specific context, like if she thought he was being too broody about something, just to get a reaction out of him. Aomine's objectively cheesy moves would be so serious that they wouldn't really seem that cheesy.

Who initiated the first kiss

Aomine, because the alternative was to continue to speak about his feelings which was already really hard on him.

Who kisses the other awake in the morning

Both but Aomine does it when he wants to be gentle and Momoi does it when she wants an outlet for her feelings.

Who starts tickle fights

Momoi because Aomine is ticklish.

Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower

They don't really ask. The one who was already in the shower would just tell the other to get in there.

Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch

I'm not sure their work situation would be ideal for that either but obviously Momoi, and certainly she would find a way even if she was busy. I'm also sure she will eventually get better at cooking. Aomine would return the favour by taking her out to eat in the middle of the day sometimes.

Who was nervous and shy on the first date

Neither. Actually they were both kind of mad at each other.

Who kills/takes out the spiders

Neither of them like bugs so they play rock-paper-scissors or something to determine who has to kill it this time.

Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk

Aomine.

I hope you enjoyed that! 🫶

ship asks

#kagakuro #aomomo #ship asks

[evelhak]

TOTverse KnB chat masterpost

Contains mild spoilers for my fic series The Other Things.

part 1 🏀 part 2 🏀 part 3 🏀 part 4

#knb #kagakuro #midotaka #aomomo #TOTverse #i guess i'm going to need this