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#YES lucifer is a trans woman in my brain if you don’t like that just ignore the post
caindiis · 8 months
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cooking up something devious (my hcs for all of the siblings)
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Survival of the Worthiest (5/12): Season 5
Spoilers included: Vaguely up to Season 8. 
This is probably as good a time as any to mention that any information from Season 13 does not impact how anything in this series works, including how/when people die or information about their backgrounds.
Read it on AO3
Jo and Ellen Harvelle
Way Number One
            “Hey, Eric? You know those two strong female characters we have?”
            “Ellen and Jo?”
            “Yeah. Let’s not kill them, okay? They’ve got an interesting story line.”
            “But people hate Jo.”
            “No, people hate that she’s a “threat” to their incest fantasy. Or Destiel. Just stop writing her as a love interest. Either give her another one, or make her and Dean have an adult conversation about their feelings that’s actually convincing.”
            “You know what? You’re right. Maybe that’ll give people some hope during the series finale.”
            “Yeah, about that…we might be getting renewed.”
            “We’re getting WHAT NOW?!”
  Way Number Two
            “Hellhounds, Dean,” Meg grinned.
            “Wait!” Sam held up his hands.
            “Sam, what are you doing?”
            “Lucifer just wants to talk?” Sam said, ignoring Dean.
            “Yep. He says he already knows you don’t want to say yes.” Meg’s eyes turned black. “I told him I could convince you, but he wants you in one piece.”
            Sam thought fast. “Okay. We’ll talk. But everyone’s coming with me.”
            “He didn’t agree to that.”
            “I’m not doing anything behind my family’s back anymore.”
            Meg snapped, and the hellhound’s heavy breathing faded away. “Your choice, Sam.” She motioned him towards a building down the street, tall and somber. “He’s in there.”
            “Ladies first,” Sam smirked.
            Meg sauntered towards the building, and Sam followed her, Dean on his heels. Ellen grabbed his arm.
            “Do you know what you’re doing?”
            “I do. I promise.” I’m not watching anyone else I love get chewed up by hellhounds.
Butterfly Effect: When meeting with Lucifer, Sam figures out that the gun won’t work without using it (if Lucifer hates demons so much, he wouldn’t give one the power to kill him). They bargain for a six months’ surrender in Detroit in exchange for Sam’s family being safe, and they leave before Death is brought back.
  Way Number Three (Which is similar to Way Number Two)
            “I can’t walk, I can’t help,” Jo said.
            “We’re not just going to let you die!” Dean snarled, but his voice broke in the middle.
            Sam closed his eyes. Please, help us.
            The lights flickered and Sam whipped around.
            “Who the hell are you?!” Dean snapped.         
            “Lucifer,” Sam whispered. No, he hadn’t meant his prayer to be heard by him…
            The archangel ignored them and stalked towards Jo. Ellen threw herself in front of her injured daughter.
            “Don’t you touch her, you goddamned Devil.”
            Lucifer actually smiled. “An accurate summation, Mrs. Harvelle.” He froze her in place and examined Jo. “Hellhound?”
            Jo didn’t speak.
            Lucifer seemed to know already. “My apologies. Meg can be…over zealous.” He reached out. “Please remain still, I’m still new at healing human bodies.”
            Sam couldn’t move, couldn’t even cry out, but he wasn’t sure if that was a spell or his own horror. All he could do was watch as Lucifer put his hand on Jo’s forehead. A soft blue light moved through her body, and her wound disappeared. Jo took a deep, shaky breath, and sat up.
            “Is your pain gone?”
            “Yeah.”
            “Excellent.” Lucifer faced Sam.
            “You did that so I would say yes,” Sam whispered.
            Lucifer waved his hand and Ellen immediately crouched beside her daughter, checking her wound. “Of course not, Sam,” he said. He actually sounded hurt. “They’re your family. I know they mean a lot to you. And I don’t want to force you.”
            Sam took a shaky breath. Dean was by his side. He could see the Colt in his brother’s pocket…and understood.
            He pulled it out and showed it to Lucifer. “This isn’t going to work on you, is it?”
            Lucifer’s smile was sad, and for a moment he looked truly old. “No, it won’t. Hang on to it though, it will keep you safe from other creatures.”
            “Sam, what are you doing?!”   
            “I figured it out,” Sam answered Dean. “If Crowley’s right and Lucifer hates demons, why would he let one hold onto something that could kill him?” He turned to Lucifer. “You’re not stupid.”
            “I’m glad you think so,” Lucifer said, his lips twisting.
            Sam gave the gun back to Dean. “Is there any way you would stop this?”
            “I can’t, Sam.”
            “You can. I know you don’t believe it, but there is a way out.”
            “Do you think I want to be playing the role my father set out for me?!” Lucifer’s voice rose. “Of course not! But if my brother wants me to fight him…well, I’ll give him what he wants.”
            “There has to be something!” Sam wracked his brains. “We’re supposed to be like you two, right? Well, my brother’s here. He still…he still believes in me, for some reason. We’re still family, even after all I did.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Maybe there’s still a chance for you and Michael.”
            Lucifer looked away. “Do you have any idea how much I want to believe that?”
            Sam almost said yes, but he choked back the word.
            “You can say the word in conversation, Sam. That’s not how this works.”
            “Oh. Then…yes. I know. Maybe Chuck could help?”
            “Chuck?”
            “Chuck Shurley. The prophet.”
            “There is no prophet by that name.”
            “Charles, I guess. It’s a nickname.”
            Lucifer shook his head, perplexed. “The prophet who should be now is named Kevin Tran. The one before him died three years ago, a woman named Teresa.”
            “All the other feathery douchebags know him,” Dean put in. “Raphael and Zach…and Cas.”
            Lucifer snapped his fingers and Cas appeared. “Castiel, have you met the prophet?”
            “Yes,” Cas said. He looked bewildered. “His name is Chuck.”
            Lucifer froze. “It can’t be.”
            “What do you mean?” Ellen said.
            “All angels know the prophets,” Lucifer said slowly. “They were inscribed on our eyes. But I have never seen the name Charles Shurley.”
            “Maybe he has a different name?”
            “As I said, it should be Kevin Tran. And he would only be about twelve.”
            Sam stared at him. “Then who is Chuck?”
            “Maybe a false prophet?” Jo suggested.
            “Not if everyone recognizes him as a prophet,” Lucifer whispered. “Everyone who’s been in Heaven since I fell. Castiel…where is he?”
            “He isn’t…brother, that can’t be.” Cas held up the amulet. “This would glow in his presence.”
            “He is the Almighty,” Lucifer said. “He can do as he likes.” He straightened. “Where is he, Castiel?”
Butterfly Effect: Lucifer finds Chuck and gets through to him. Chuck actually takes responsibility for his actions, gets Michael and Lucifer in a room and sorts out their angst as a family. You know, the way they’re supposed to. Ellen and Jo live happily ever after. Lucifer becomes the weird family member that Crowley might have become.
  Anna
            She’s cut loose from the torture at last, instructed to find the Winchesters. To protect them, since Castiel is clearly not up to it. They need to survive to be vessels.
            At first Anna does offer to kill Sam. She has a knife at her throat the minute after, but she states her case. “You won’t suffer,” she promises. “I’ll make it stop.”
            Sam does consider it. But he refuses, and Anna is okay with that. She has to leave, then; she can’t stay, it will draw attention. But she promises to return if they need her.
            And on a tip from Castiel, she flies, following a trail of bodies and candy until she finds the Trickster. “Any advice on how to disappear, brother?”
            The Trickster laughs, and takes her with him.
Butterfly Effect: Anna is present at Elysium, and she stabs Lucifer to protect Gabriel. She manages to track down God, and convinces him to get Michael in line. She and Dean are not in a relationship, but she does inform him for sure that Cas is in love with him. Destiel happens, Anna wins, the end.
  Gabriel
Way Number One
            Of fucking course he wasn’t going to kill his brother. He’d already made that clear, more than once.
            But he wasn’t going to let Kali die either.
            Or the Winchesters.
            Lucifer seeing through his trick surprised him. Having his brother turn and stab him with his own blade (well, a facsimile of his own blade)…that surprised him even more.
            It hurt, too.
            Gabriel let out a loud, heart-broken shriek, mourning his brother. He’d held on to some hope that his brother wasn’t totally lost. But the Morning Star would never have hurt him. He was Satan now, fully.
            Gabriel almost wished he was dying.
            But he didn’t. He made sure to lay fake wings on the ground. He lingered for a moment, saw Lucifer stare at his dead body. Gabriel hoped that he would react somehow. And Lucifer did cry, but he wiped away the tears and walked out without a word.
            Gabriel set his jaw. Well, that was the end. No more hope. Maybe the Winchesters could beat Lucifer. Maybe. But he sure couldn’t.
            So he met up with Kali a hundred miles away, and whisked the two of them to Pandora. They’d both earned a vacation. And he had a lot of explaining to do.
Butterfly Effect: Gabriel does leave, and his relationship with Kali blossoms. He’s yanked back to Earth by Kevin being in danger the first time, and is forced to sort out the nonsense. He heals Cas, gets the Leviathans crammed back into Purgatory, and takes over Heaven. By that, I mean he and Kali sort out the faction situation, make it impossible for angels to kill each other, and kick Naomi’s ass to kingdom come.
  Way Two
            He sat up, coughing and choking. Kali was sitting next to him, in the middle of a broken room.
            “How?”
            Kali held up the vial. “You’re mine now.”
            Like he hadn’t always been.
            Kali shifted so his head was in her lap. “Your brother is gone.”         
            “He killed me. He’s not my brother anymore.”
            “Loki—Gabriel. Am I no longer yours?”
            “Not the same thing. I know you would never really want to hurt me. Why do you think I gave you a fake blade? But Lucifer…he’s not who he was. That part of him is gone.” Gabriel tried to sit up, but fell back with a grunt of pain. “Alright, I’ve got to go.”
            “Where?”
            “I’m going after the Winchesters. They might actually be right. It’s worth a shot, at least.”
            “I’m coming with you.”
            “You don’t have to.”
            “Do you think you can stop me?”
            “That’s my girl.”
Butterfly Effect: Gabriel and Kali join the fight. Kali is limited in power only because Lucifer is of a different power source; she can fight the Horsemen, and does. She also works to minimize the damage done to the innocent (though quite a few child abusers get killed in the Apocalyptic weather). Gabriel manages to knock both Michael and Lucifer into the Cage, saves Sam and Adam, and everyone lives happily ever after.
  Way Three
            “I’ve been riding the pine a long time…”
            “Gabriel,” Lucifer interrupted him. “I’m sure you have this speech planned out. But I really have places to be.”
            “Stop. Please.”
            “I can’t.”
            “Can’t or won’t?”
            “Does it really matter? It ends the same way.”
            “It doesn’t have to. Look at me! I’ve gotten away with not being an archangel for 3,000 years.”
            Lucifer spread his wings. “Do you see what he’s done?”
            His brother’s wings were scarred and broken. Hey were still usable, still functional, but that was all they were.
            “I…I’m sorry, Lucifer. I’m not excusing what he did. I’m not. You have to believe me.”
            “I would like to. But as you’re currently standing in front of me, trying to kill me…”
            Gabriel took a deep breath. “I’m not in front of you. I’m behind you.” He snapped, let the image fade away.
            Lucifer actually laughed as he turned. “Well, well! You’re getting better, aren’t you?”
            “What do we do, Lucifer? How do we get out of this?”
            Lucifer hesitated, and then lowered his blade. “You really think there’s a way out?”
            “Absolutely.” And if there wasn’t, he would make one.
            “I don’t want to hurt Sam.” His brother’s voice was pitiful, and Gabriel risked getting closer, putting a hand on his brother’s shoulder.
            “Come on, brother. Come to the not-dark-side.”
            “What are you talking about?”
            “Right. We need to get you humanized.”
Butterfly Effect: Gabriel (with Team Free Will’s reluctant help) starts introducing Lucifer to human things. It’s a bit hard to hide the presence of two archangels, but Lucifer has a solution; if he becomes human, he doesn’t have to fight Michael. He gives Gabriel his Grace, but not before he resurrects Ellen and Jo and frees Nick’s soul, who really just wants to be dead. Humanity freaks him out, but he ends up enjoying it for two reasons. The first is that he realizes how in love with a certain hunter he is, and the second is that it actually shocks Michael out of the fight; his brother was willing to become the thing he hated so that they wouldn’t have to fight. Happy ending, Samifer is a thing that I can’t believe I wrote, and Destiel of course.
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