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fictionalarsonist · 7 years

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「17_junhui | Hell-O Ween Chronicles Series #4 ; Part I」

Requested by @hungline junhui ⨯ male reader (feat. some ocs) | PG-13 | word count: 6.4K warning: minor cursing, character death

a/n:this ended up being too long, so I'll post into two parts not properly edited, sorry 「 masterlist | request | Hell-O Ween Chronicles Series 」

[ part 1 | part 2 ]

Far from this old, traditional village, deep in the woods, there’s a valley surrounded by three mountains. At that place there’s a abandoned castle engulfed by the woods, if you are a young man and happen to be tempted to go into the woods, make sure to never walk in if you see lined oak trees, but, if you do, cover your ears if you hear no sounds and always face towards the village. If you happen to walk down the mountain and see this castle as it was on its glory days, never walk in past the gates.

It was a bright and beautiful day, I couldn't be happier. He accepted me for who I was, for what I was, never asking of me any change, never questioning or judging. I knew he loved me and I loved him. I saw my brother walking in and smiled brightly at him, he smiled me the same, his lips pulled upwards in a way that could only mean he’s as happy as I am, but that smile didn’t reach his eyes, not even close, I knew he was trying to pretend otherwise, but he’s my brother and my best friend, I know him better than anyone and the same goes for him, so, of course, I knew something was wrong, in some way and I wanted to ask what could be. This supposed to be a beautiful and happy day, but I wouldn’t pretend to be blind if something was wrong, and mostly, if something was wrong with my brother. “My little brother is marrying someone before me”, he clicked his tongue in a good humor before I could say something, tilting his head sideways, mocking a contradiction, “I feel extremely offended” I wanted to know what’s wrong. He walked in nonchalantly, a servant closed the door behind him and he leaned sideways against my closet in front of me, crossing his arms, looking up and down at me as my trusted valet helped me with my clothings, well, I was too nervous to do something, anyway, so obviously he took care of almost everything. “Brother, don’t be so sulky! I’m sure you’ll find someone who loves you just as much someday” I saw his smile shatter slightly, I’m sure he didn’t meant for me to see because he picked it up in a blink of an eye, I wouldn't have missed that knowing him the way I do there is little to nothing I could miss about my brother’s demeanors. I cleared my throat and averted my eyes to the mirror before me, pretending to pay attention to my clothing. “Thomas”, I called my valet out and he looked up at me while arranging my boots, “Can you please leave me and my brother alone? I’m sure he can help me out with the rest.” I stole a quick glance at him, his eyes were somewhere distant I couldn’t reach and I could see how he kept fighting whatever was upsetting him so much to keep smiling at him. “Yes, sir” I waited until both of them had left and the door tightly closed to speak again, by then, my brother had approached me and started helping me as I proposed earlier, but I stepped back, stopping him from doing so. His hands stopped where they’re trying to reach and he looked at him in confusion. “Something’s wrong, isn’t it?”, I frowned, he sighed and looked away, “I know something’s wrong”. “Y/N--” “Whatever it is that is troubling you”, I stepped closer and laid my hands on his shoulder, “you must tell me!”, I looked into his eyes and I could see his worries were deeper than I thought at first, his smile dropped for good. “You shouldn’t bother with this”, his voice was gentle and concerned, “it’s just--”, he licked his lips and looked away, “it’s silly, y/n”, he took my hands from his shoulder between his and patted them gently before walking away towards the large window where the curtains were pulled open so the warm sunlight could bathe the room. “If something concerns yous so much, you must tell me!”, I implied and I heard him sighing again and called his name softly, like a plead. He took his time and I waited, the seconds seemed to go on forever until he finally turned to me, his eyes had something that I couldn’t understand, so I judge I was mistaken, why would he feel guilty? My brother was, in one word, a very honest man, clean and good, different from any others I’ve met and even with all his wrongdoings here and there, he could never be pointed at as a bad man. “I--”, he tried, but his voice sounded strangled and he swallowed thickly, “I guess I don’t like the idea of letting you go so suddenly, that’s all”, he confessed and this time, his shoulder relaxed when he sighed again, “I keep seeing ghosts where there are none and I’m afraid--”, I saw him biting his lips and fumbling with his hands, moving to sit on my bed with his head hug low, he his face with one of his hands, like a desperate man. I moved quickly, sitting beside him, moving my body to face him, I laid my hand on his shoulder. “Y/N, I’m sorry”,his voice was muffled by his hand and he pulled away, looking up at me with his head tilted down, a smile played on his face, “I’m sorry, you’re my dearest little brother and I always worry too much for you”, with a crooked smile he cupped my face, looking me in the eyes, “ you supposed to be happy today, I shouldn’t have be filling your head with these stupid thoughts of mine”, he mocked himself. I was about to contradict him, but he was faster “You’ll marry an amazing man, how many others, man or woman, can wholeheartedly say such thing?”, he frowned and nudged me a little, “and he’s lucky you chose him--” “But--” “No “buts”, y/n!”, he imposed, “I’m an overprotective jealous older brother, that’s all”, I touched his hand, taking between mine. “You won’t be losing me, brother.”, I smiled at him, “I talked to him and you can come live with us too, I mean, as long as you want to, of course”. “Silly! Then who would take part in the family affairs?” “Oh, right! I grant you this fate” “I am the elder brother, y/n”, he says playing contracdiction, pretending to be offended, but his humorous smile betrayed him, so I laughed when he stood up, walking towards teh window, mocking a prideful facade, “it is, afterall, my duty to take over the family affairs and our father position when the time comes”, a second after his facade breaks into a boredom expression “Looking at the bright side, you will marry Lady Hyde”, he shrugged with little enthusiasm and threw himself to sit on the bed next to me again, with his back against the headboard and hands on the back of his head. “You mean, as long as she doesn't run away with her lover?”, I leaned to pat his shoulder, “I am not a lucky man in love, little brother. That tittle goes to you” “Use your charm, she might change her mind in the end”, I suggested and we laughed. His eyes, they still had that strange thing in them, but there was happiness too and that slowly became what I could see the most, that something else didn’t go away and I wasn’t a fool, I’d address him the matter as soon as I had the time to do so, right now, I’d focus on the man I loved with whom I’d be marrying that afternoon. Being a marriage of two men, the church wouldn’t give their blessing, but it didn’t matter to us, we had a religion of our own. We called it… Love.

The city is an awful distraction to someone who wants to completely focus on the work they have at hand; the sound of cars passing every second of every hour, people talking loudly to each other, the interruptions and day by day annoyance are all too much to Junhui, this wasn’t what he expected when he decided to spend two months in this small countryside village, don't these places tend to be peaceful and welcoming? Then how come this one is a complete mess? The persistent cacophony is annoyingly persistent, sitting at his piano, staring at music sheet scrawled messily with notes, annotations, and whatnot, Junhui can feel himself giving up, small pieces of his will to keep on trying start to crumble and he tries guarding himself before that causes a torrent he won’t be able to retain. With a loud, annoyed grunt he reaches for the piece of paper and angrily tears it recklessly in many pieces, his faces flushes in deep red, grinding his teeth in anger. Junhui has lost count of how many pieces he started and threw away since he came to this place, and to think that he gave up the comfort of his apartment for this, what was he thinking? Time’s ticking, this silent demon is indeed up against him, mocking Junhui’s inefficiency and lack of enough self-confidence to battle against him, his marvelous laugh came in repetitive dull tick-tocks and proudly echoed through the small hostel room walls Junhui rented for his stay. It was quite simple and very old. “It’s almost as old as this town”, the owner of the place proudly told him while she guided him to his room several weeks before when he arrived. Old and very modest, deprived from too much from the modern society’s excessive luxurious whims, almost as if progress - should be use this word? - was slow in reaching out to this place,but people didn’t seem to care, after all it is a comfortable place and, for all Junhui cares, perfect for his needs or so he thought at first because the small village seemed exactly what he was waiting for, exactly what his senior recommended for, a quiet a soothing place to compose his pieces without disturbance. Well, it seemed so, at first glance, but that didn’t take too long to see how that was nothing but an illusion and every adjective the senior has graced the place for was nothing but a big fat lie to him. Now Junhui’s stuck in this place forgotten by every deity that might exists and he’s sure of it because none seem to hear his desperate chants for peace and that damned devil keeps on laughing at him. Believe it or not, two month isn’t enough time to compose a heavenly masterpiece that would sweep the illustrious professors off their feet and grant him that stupid piece of paper just so he can finally pursuit his condemned dream and either succeed as he always dreamed of or perish and taste the bitterness of the curse thrown upon him many, many times before by his parents, relatives and some of those people he once counted as friends. However, someone like him, just another hard worker in a much lower level than the other geniuses the academy defied is able to do so much as to strive to achieve the dreams of greatness that seem, oh! so distant and nothing less, nothing more. Nauseated by the anger, the sentiment of being a failure even before the final movement, Junhui stands up and walks away from his upright piano, he knows fairly well it was an eccentricity to bring that thing along, but knowing he wouldn’t find any in the village he just had to, he kicked the empty case of his violin on the way to the window next to the bed. “I won’t make it” - Junhui thought as he pushed the curtain away just slightly to see the patio through the dirty window of his bedroom and he sighed deeply, looking at the people laughing loudly and talking about whatever, just a few meters ahead, the road, cars passing by in a very slow pace, respecting the passersby and perimeter of the cozy village, all those old cars, strained minded people, everything, all this unnecessary nuisance crawls under his skin and a revolving storm of feelings seemed like a boiling lava, Junhui wasn’t one to get easily worked up in such a way, but the demons knocking at his conscience and the precocious feeling of being defeated after so much he went through already, seemed to be enough to cause it and once he saw his contorted expression at the reflection of the window he felt ashamed of himself. At seven o’clock, and not a minute later, dinner’s served. Junhui walks down the stair taciturn, but polite, complimenting others as he passes by and walks to his assured seat, not because he chose but rather because the others, living there for a much longer period than him, claimed their seats already, turns out that his alleged “assured” seat is an extra that hasn’t been used in a long while. The others seemed to be very friendly and talkative towards each other and every once in a while, one of them would try their ways with Junhui as well, to Junhui that was more of the same, he wonders how can these people possibly have so much to tell and talk about in a place so small as that one, he understood that it was all due the powerful imagination these people seemed to have, for instance, one of them is in the middle of telling the same story about the supposedly secret romance between the mayor’s daughter and the baker’s son, his own version of it, of course, because wanting or not, Junhui heard the story over a thousand times that day and each time something was different and more magnificent than the last, not that he was paying attention, but he could not ignore the incessant chit-chat that story seemed to cause. “I’m sure her father won’t let her marry him, I heard there’s someone the mayor already set her up with”, another one commented right before shoving some of the food down the throat. Argh! Indeed, that annoying chit-chat seems to be endless. How does he supposed to work on his piece in a place so chaotic? If only inspiration was a pill he could take and promptly start to compose as if there’s no tomorrow as others seem to fantasize when they think about musicians. “We really thought it was you”, the woman sitting beside her husband across from Junhui said and it took him a moment to realize and appreciate the sudden silence in the room - even the sounds of the chopsticks stopped - before he looked up, just then noticing that she was talking to him and all the pair of eyes was eating him out in curiosity. “Me?”, he frowned. “Well, you’ve heard about the tragic love story, right?”, Junhui almost chuckled at that, “we thought you were the one who came here to marry the mayor’s daughter” Junhui blinked a couple times, confused with the statement and looked around the room, everyone seemed eager to know his answer, well, everyone with the exception of the owner and a man sitting at far end of the table. “Uhmm… No”, the others don’t seemed to convinced, in fact, some of them lean in closer as if waiting for more, Junhui had nothing else to say though, “I came to find a place to finish a personal project”, seeing the other’s curiosity still lighten up, Junhui sighed, “--for college, I’m a musician” An unison and disinterested “oh” echoed through the room while the others slowly but surely took over their annoying conversation and for once Junhui felt relieved for not being under their gaze, he wasn’t a shy person, but those people just gave him the creeps, he went back to his meal without much appetite and as soon as he could, he excused himself, choosing to walk to the patio instead of go back to the confinement of his bedroom. The chilly, wintery air of the evening took away some of the weight in his mind, it was easier to think without his many sources of anxiety suffocating him, the village’s much quieter now, looking up Junhui could see the moon appearing shyly behind the clouds, he gets distracted by the twinkling dots surrounding the moon, the village’s light is not so bright to make the stars nonexistent, some of them dares to shine brighter, the garden cultivated by the owner, beautiful Junhui admits, exhales a delicious sweet smell of flowers and fresh green; Junhui doesn’t realize that his sudden opening to all of this is just a crusade to convince the divine inspiration to come to him and he’s surprised by the disappointment that takes over him when minutes later, he’s the exactly same, lacking a muse to look up to. Shoving his hands inside the pockets of his pants to maintain them warm, Junhui ends up pulling out his phone without giving much thought, he walks towards the small wall and hops on the wall that’s large enough for him to walk on, by a past experience, he knows that’s where the signal seems to work better and no wonder it works just fine as he calls his senior. “Junhui?! How’s the masterpiece”, it’s what he’s greeted with and he sighs, “not so great, is that it?”, the other mocks playfully. “Something along those lines”, Junhui stares at where he’s stepping, the wall’s surface is irregular and one step off his way might make him fall, he hears the man at the other end of the line hum in understandment, “this place is goddamn mess”, he blurts out. “It’s much quieter than here” Junhui can just picture his senior frowning in confusion and he sighs yet again, stopping in the middle of the wall and rubbing his closed eyelids impatiently with his thumb and index finger. “I’m almost convinced we’re not talking about the same place”, he mutters in bad humor. “C’mon, Jun”, Junhui tsks, “it can’t be that bad” “I couldn’t work out one single piece” “Maybe you’re trying too hard again”, the voice at the other end of the line is more serious and softer this time, Junhui looks up, seeing the sky darkening with threatening clouds, “take a step back, Jun, relax a bit, enjoy the rustic place a little, I mean you’re already talking like them” Something between a groan and a distressed sigh escapes Junhui as he brushes his fingers through his hair. “Fuck! seriously?”, the laughter at the other end of the line is enough answer, the curse that leaves his lips sounds strange in this new accent he acquired, “great!” “Chill, it’ll pass once you’re back”, the other says, his amused smile loud and clear in his voice and Junhui curses himself under his breath much to his senior’s entertainment, “two weeks give it or take” A small silence falls between them until the senior calls for him, a little more serious this time and he simply hums in reply. “I mean it, just-- relax a bit” “I can’t spend time relaxing--”, the boy complains with even more annoyance, then stops himself from sounding angry because, it’s not his senior’s fault that he’s going through all of this, “sorry, I didn’t mean to sound rude”, even his apology seemed fake and he wish he could manage his words out differently, the man at the other man chuckles in amusement. “Whoa! The ice prince’s at it again, huh? Even if I’m a senior~”, the other’s tone is playful, but Junhui can’t avoid feeling guilty. “I didn’t mean to--” “Forget it, Junnie”, he said playfully with a deep laughter, “I know you’re under a lot of pressure”, luckily for him, his senior is the kind of cheerful person that doesn’t get offended very easily, “I’ve been through this as well, you should’ve seen me being cranky in my las--” Whatever his senior said next was cut out by some kind static noise, Junhui could still hear the his senior’s voice at the other end of the line, Junhui’s sure that if he focused he could still listen, of course he blamed the poor reception at this place seemingly forgotten by god. Taking his phone away from him, Junhui checks the sign on the screen, it looks the same, he places on his ear, the static is still there, he can listen his senior’s voice, but it sounds strange, as if the other was speaking non-stop, but even if the other is a very talkative person, yet he’s sure at one time he has to stop to breath, though that doesn’t seem like it’s happening. “Hello?! I can’t hear you!”, Junhui tries placing his free hand over his other ear to focus on the the call and indeed he could listen better this way, just not what he hoped he would. Amidst the static and the other man’s voice, Junhui heard someone else’s voice, he couldn’t tell if it was a man’s voice or a woman’s voice, but he heard it clearly someone else talking, he couldn’t figure out what the person said, but he heard it. Junhui frowned and looked around, trying to puzzle out whatever his senior was still talking to him, but maybe the other was talking to the other person on the line, he could’ve set a conference call by mistake. Junhui checked his phone again, but it was the same, the only person he’s talking to was his senior, no one else, so maybe the other person was with his senior and he overheard it. “I can’t hear you”, he said again, “look I’ll hang up and then--” “Jun-- hui--” The voice was soft and heartwarming, speaking in his ear, and Junhui could hear clearly despite having his hand pressing against it to block any sound, the person’s warm breath fanned on his skin from behind him, their lips, cold, he noted, brushed faintly on his earshell; Junhui’s shoes scraped the surface of walls when he made a sharp turn to look behind him and as he’s not quite sure if he was indeed disappointed for not finding anyone there. He looked down, maybe the person was playing a prank on him and had jumped down, but there’s no one hiding behind the wall, among the passersby he couldn’t notice anyone suspicious of pulling a prank didn’t no one to be seen around him and that makes his blood being drained from his skin. With his eyes wide open, Junhui tries looking everywhere around him while still paying attention to the call, pulling his hand away from his ear and taking a good look at it, confused, at first he doesn’t notice the change in the call, it’s only when he pays attention again that he distinguishes that the static sounds a lot like the echo of the wind howling through an empty, large space and he calls out to his senior a couple of times. “Speak slowly”, he didn’t meant for his voice to quiver like that, but he couldn’t get a hold himself, his senior kept speaking a lot and fast, like he was chanting something, but Junhui judged that to be his hectic mind trying to make weird comparisons to scare him further. “Jun--hui--” Again! It happened again,this time sounding like the person was just standing beside him and Junhui turns immediately his face to try catching whoever it was, but there was nobody there, the phone went mute for a moment. “Did you hang up?”, he heard the person on the other side calling, for some reason his hands trembled as he looked around cautiously, the static was still there, but he could hear his senior voice, more or less. It’s silly, but he couldn’t understand why the sudden change in the mood that surrounded him, one moment he didn’t mind the wintery weather, suddenly it seemed like the wind was trying to gawn at his skin, Junhui felt like being watched and became eager to step down from the wall where he was at display. “I-I’ll call you later”, he didn’t meant to stutter. “Wait!”, the sound of the man’s voice sounded squally. Junhui’s very much eager to turn off the call and step down of the wall, he could pretend he didn’t heard his senior and just do it, but he couldn’t do it, his brain thought it out, his body refused to obey. “If you wish to find peace of mind, try the woods, it’s quiet there and no one shall bother you”, the static was persistent, making his senior’s voice sound quite different, but in his eagerness to get off the wall, Junhui paid no mind to it. Someone’s watching, he can feel the person’s eyes roaming over his body like limbless hands touching him all over, Junhui felt a tight knot forming on his stomach, he couldn’t almost feel someone touching him. A cold sweat went down his spine, his brain went half numb from what he refused to call fear or being scared, he’s just being cautious, that’s all. “U-Uhm-- Thank you I’ll--”, the line went mute again, and this time, when Junhui looked at the screen, the phone has been turned off, he tried turning on again, knowing there was enough battery, but the device refused to. Junhui shoved his phone in his pocket, but his sweaty hands dropped the device and he heard the “crack” when pieces of it scattered on the floor. His head snapped up again when he didn’t heard but felt his name being called again and he told himself to step down from that wall, something seemed to be enveloping him in a welcoming warmth, the weather was no longer cold, the wind no longer chilly and Junhui’s eyes met someone else’s, he didn’t see it, but he could tell he was looking at someone’s eyes when his head naturally turned at the direction of the woods. The woods, at this time of the day, is nothing but a dark stain in the horizon with silhouettes of trees here and there, but Junhui could just see himself delving through it, through the largely spaces trees until they were so close you couldn’t even see clearly an animal path, “--but that’s because it’s dark” - he told himself or was it someone telling him? It didn’t sound like it came from his thoughts. “Am I inside the woods now?”, his question echoed in the air, well, not really, but it felt like so. A wrong step and Junhui slipped, falling from the wall and hitting the ground hard, his head pounded. “Are you okay?”, if his head didn't hurt so bad, Junhui would probably notice the maccented way the other talk, much more than the others around the village. Junhui blinked a couple of times, turning his head carefully to look at the person who just ran out of the hostel towards him, it was that guy, the one who’s always quiet and mostly speaks only to the hostel’s owner, his steps sounding like a thousand drums to Junhui’s newfound headache. “I’m fine”, he tried sitting up, but that proved to be quite a challenge because of how much his head hurt, “I just-- I fell” This guy who’s mostly quiet and seemingly stoic, crouched down to help him sit up slowly with his back against the wall, Junhui looked up at the man to thank him, only then noticing how young he actually was, he could be a sophomore at college, Junhui wouldn’t notice this before because the other was always looking at his own feet. “Thank you”, Junhui mutters at the other, finally realizing everything just turned back to normal. Just like that. “Don’t mind it.”, there’s pause where Junhui tries to control his breathing to not throw up as he feels like doing, the stranger stares at him worriedly “Are you sure you fell alright?” Junhui tries nodding but that only causes him to feel more nausiated and he stops. “C'mon, look up! How many fingers?”, Junhui tilts his head up and curls a half smile,pushing the other's hand, held up with two fingers before him, away “Just a headache”, Junhui looks at the cracked screen between him the stranger, “and a broken phone” Of course, the others just had to come out to see what happened, but after collecting the pieces of his phone while battling his headache, Junhui excused himself and went to his bedroom. He sat on his bed, with his elbows on his knees and his head on his hands, even moving his eyes hurt, but closing them didn’t really made much difference. Junhui couldn’t remember when he slept, but he wakes up to find himself oddly tucked in bed, wrapped around the blanket and he stops his hand from reaching out to something, clenching on the bed sheets instead. He kicks the blankets away, laying on his back and just then he realizes he doesn’t have that headache anymore; he waits for it, sits up carefully, but he feels completely fine. The fresh air of the morning comes into the bedroom through the half-open window, Junhui slips his feet in his shoes, as soon as he gets close to the window, his eyes are drawn by the woods, the wind rustles with the trees, the sun bathes the beautiful green with a welcoming gold that seems to bring life to it. The mountains seemed so much closer, or maybe he never really paid attention to them; indeed his senior was right, there’s so much Junhui could focus on and take inspiration from, stressing himself would only poke at his nerves and trick his mind, causing ridiculous episodes such as the night before. “Do you feel better today?”, the young man from the night before asked him and he nodded with a smile at the other while sitting at the table. He felt great, actually, so much he didn't see the way others looked at him, questioning. “The headache was from stress and shock from the fall”, he ended up blabbing out without much thought and thanked the employee who poured him coffee. “Stress?”, the owner asks instead and Junhui hummed at the man in confirmation. “I’ve been stressing about this project of mine, that’s all” “Stressing about it won’t do you any good” “My friend told me the same thing” Nothing changed much, except for his good humor, but that seemed to trigger a very pleasant morning, the breakfast wasn’t so bothering, he just ignored the conversation that didn’t mind him, excusing himself of them whenever he was caught in any matter. The owner and the young man seemed to share of the same thought, so the conversation between the three of them was better led. After he excused himself, Junhui went back to his room and sat at his piano, brushing his fingers against the keys until his fingers found their way through a note and it followed by another, and another, and another, and soon a beautiful sketch came by. Everything was flowing out of him, naturally, his fingers danced, played with the keys, with the notes and he didn’t bother, not even for a second, to stop and takes notes, make stupid annotations, music has a life on its own, after all, and Junhui should remember to respect that more often than worry about due dates, yes they’re important, but made him forget what he was even doing this in first place. Junhui could go on about it, there was no sign when he’d stop, it felt as if he’s been possessed by the notes themselves and he loved, but something else called his attention. It was urgent, stronger than the flow that leading him on. The wind howled in his room and his fingers halted where they were, the notes floated in the air, swirled with the wind, echoing through the hostel, but he couldn’t hear them anymore. He felt it again. Someone calling for him, someone watching him. It wasn’t uncomfortable as the night before, it didn’t felt desperate or fearful, Junhui still felt as if hands were hovering over him, but different from the night before, he didn’t felt as if they’re holding onto him, there wasn’t aggressiveness. Junhui stands up slowly and walks to the window, the curtains fly in with the wind that blows in leaves and dirt inside the room until it suddenly stops, milder than the last night or not, the feeling of being watched, observed by something he couldn’t see was alarming, there’s no doubt about it, there was a certain discomfort to it, something that stirred his inside, but not completely in a different way, he didn’t felt attacked like the day before, alarmed by it and he wonders if it’s because the blue sky contrasts so beautifully with the endless woods. So, maybe he’s senior was right and this could be his instincts telling him there’s a quiet place to get inspired by and he should listen to it. With a small smile, Junhui closes the window, not minding the curtains, not minding the feeling of being watched either, he knows now it’s something his mind is tricking him into; Junhui checks on his violin lying on the nightstand and places in it’s case, closing carefully before leaving the bedroom. “Beautiful song you just played”, the employee shyly smiled at him and he replied just the same as he went down the stairs. “Thank you, I was just playing with the notes”, he half-smiled back, seeing her stop, fumbling with her hands across from him, “I’ll heading to the woods, hopefully I’ll come back with something better--” “The woods?”, her smile falls and she clenches her hands around each other, in his self-indulged enthusiasm Junhui misses her scared expression, “maybe--”, she licks her lips, hesitant to keep on talking, “I’m sorry to say this, but maybe this isn’t a good idea”, he frowns, but his expression doesn’t change to a worrisome one. “Why?” “The woods are dangerous for people who aren’t used to it”, she tries explaining very faintly. “It’s okay”, he dismisses her worry with a shrug, “I won’t go too deep into the woods, I just--”, his eyes are dragged to the woods direction, he can’t see it through the wall, but the image he just saw through the window of the bedroom is imprinted in his mind, “--I’ll be back for lunch, I guess”, he looks at her and waves a quick goodbye before strolling out of the door.

I was charmed. My days were always a dreamlike fantasy I prayed every night to not wake up from, he was everything I could ever wish for and more. I found myself devoting myself to this man I loved until I forgot who I was and I knew he deserved that much because he loved me the same, so I could never be reprimanded. Our honeymoon was extended because he granted me the wish to see the world with me and the only thing that hurt my feelings was being apartment from my dear brother as well as my parents. Undoubtedly I wrote to them, especially my brother, every chance I got, everywhere I went, to mother and father I would tell certain news, to mother, how much I missed her, how happy I was, how wonderful life has been and all the good things that happened since the last time I wrote, to father, I wrote about somethings about my happiness as well, about the different political situations I met, the difference in culture and religion, I knew he loved me, but I understood how hard it still was to comprehend my situation as a man and, lastly, but most importantly, to my brother, and to him I’d tell such a mixture of rambles about everything, I wrote with a smile and tears, I told him every secret I had, as always, everything I couldn’t tell anyone else but him and it was his reply that I anticipated for the most, therefore, without a doubt, my soul was filled with sorrow when I could no longer get any replies from him. Situations here and there from the places we went didn’t allow us to stay much longer and though I sent a letter from every place I went, I didn’t stay long enough to get any response from him. Once, my husband came rushing in the room with a mysterious smile on his face, hands held back and a youthful spark in his eyes, I smiled even thought I was oblivious to his intentions and stood up from my seat, placing the book I’ve been reading aside, he childishly called me by my unofficial title as his husband and we were much past the situation of carrying about the social legitimacy of our relationship. “What is it that you’re hiding from me?”, I could feel my eyes sparkling in reflection of his. “Well, if you want to know, then why don’t you come here and find out?”, he chuckled at me, standing in the middle of the room at a quite some fair distance from me and I playfully crossed my arms. “Is it really for me?”, I asked taking a step closer and he smiled, tilting his head and pretending to think. “Possibly” “Oh!”, I cooed and walked slowly towards him, stopping a few centimeters afar when he stepped back. “The question is, my love--”, he started, “what do I get as a reward for this?”, he raised his eyebrows, playfully looking sideways at me. “Shouldn’t I evaluate the significance of the matter before offering a price, Marquess Wen?”, I suggested, trying to contain my ever so blooming smile and I knew I failed the moment I saw his eyes hide in crescents as he smiled beautifully at me and took a step closer himself, standing just a breath away. ... Silly playful jokes that are boring to everyone but lovers, everyone but us. The so valuable content was a letter from home, I could never be happier to see the envelope and my family’s crest marked in wax to seal it, it was from my brother. I hurriedly ripped open the envelope to read the content, my cheek hurt from large I smiled, but reality any warm joy from my soul and replaced with cold fear and sadness as I took more than I needed to read and comprehend what has been written. While I was happy with the person I love, my mother has been assassinated by a traitor and father left our home to avenge her death, joining the war, my brother was left there, but by the time I was reading the letter he had already left as well and I read out loud what he wrote. “...I ask of you and your husband to come, stay in our home and take care of our affairs while we’re away. I would never ask such thing of you, little brother, if I didn’t have to. I treasure your happiness too much to be this selfish, but I’m afraid this can’t be ignored. As I said before, I’ve read all your letters and I know how happy you are and I do not wish to take that from you. Mother would be happy to see you make ours your home as well for the time being, make this place as happy as you wish just so I can meet you without regrets in near future...” So, I went back to the place where I’ve always been happy, but now was empty and cold.

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