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ladyloveandjustice · 3 years

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Spring 2021 anime overview: Quick Takes

Now for my Spring 2021 anime thoughts! I’ve decided from now on if a season’s like, 20- to-24 episodes I’m just going to wait ‘til it’s done to review it unless I feels super passionately, so though I watched To Your Eternity (it’s good!) and MHA (eh), I’ll comment on them next time. Also, for the record, I watched the first eight eps of Joran: Princess and Snow of Blood but I dropped it because it had clearly crossed the line from entertainingly dumb to boring dumb.

I will probably give Supercub and some other stuff a shot later, this was a stacked season! May give updates on all that later, but this is what I have for now.

ODDTAXI

Quick Summary: A mild mannered middle-aged walrus taxi driver is drawn into a case involving a missing girl, yakuza, Youtube clout-chasers, manzai comedians and idols with big secrets.

It’s rare to walk away from media and be like “that is a singular experience I will definitely never see repeated again” but ODDTAXI is definitely one of those. A tense noir thriller murder mystery starring cartoon animals that spends an entire episode detailing the one (cat)man’s very fall into darkness triggered by addiction to gacha games and an online auction for a novelty eraser? Also there’s a porcupine Yakuza who speaks entirely in rap? Also there’s tons of meandering conversations about stuff like manzai comedy and the struggle to go viral on Twitter?

Admittedly, I had a hard time getting into the first episode, the dry meandering humor not being enough to hold my attention while I was sitting still, but once I watched this while I was working out at the end of the season, I found it an easy binge. A ton of characters with dark secrets or dangerous ambitions, each with their own part to play in a tableau of intersecting events- and it all actually comes together really well.(As for the female characters, it’s a pretty dude driven story, but they do get nuanced characterization and even some good heroic moments from one of them.)

It’s a great example of a carefully planned narrative paying off, with all the twists appropriately seeded and foreshadowed to reward viewers who paid attention. Even when it ended on a perfect “OH SHIT” moment and denied me closure, I couldn’t help but respect it. If you that all sounds interesting to you, definitely check out the first couple episodes and see if you like it- you’re likely to have a memorable, satisfying experience!

Shadows House

Quick Summary: Emilyko is a ‘living doll’ who’s told she was created to act as the ‘face’ of her shadow master, Kate. The shadows and their ‘dolls’ all reside on the mansion and are required to pass a ‘debut’ to prove they’re a good pairing. If they don’t pass, they might be disposed of. And so the mystery of the Shadow mansion grows...

This slice of gothic intrigue was my favorite of the season, tied with ODDTAXI. With an interesting premise, slightly tense undertones and a strong focus on character building and relationships, it kept me hooked the whole way through. And for any squeamish fans put off by the hype about it, don’t worry, while there are some suspenseful elements, I wouldn’t qualify it as horror. I thought the relationship between Kate and Emilyko might end up being a completely sinister one, but it’s thankfully a lot more complex than that and it’s really interesting to follow how both their characters and relationship grow. The focus of the show is, unsurprisingly, on the “dolls” slowly discovering their autonomy and personhood as they struggle under the rigid system imposed on them by the mysterious elders of this weird Victorian mansion. Can they develop a more equitable relationship with their shadow “masters” (who are also shown to suffer under this system)? There’s a lot to dig into there, and the show has the characters develop through learning to understand and appreciate each other, which is pretty heartwarming. Our hero, Emilyko, is the typical plucky ball of sunshine (they even nickname her sunshine), but she’s also shown to be clever in her own off-the-wall way and she bounces off the far more subdued and cynical Kate well, not to mention the other ‘dolls’ she ends up befriending.

What’s more, the show spends plenty of time to developing several other character pairings and combinations, and they all have their own interesting dynamic that makes you want to see more of them. Same-gender bonds are at the forefront of this show, and many of them are ripe for queer readings (I definitely appreciated the healthy helping of ladies carrying ladies), but even outside that it’s nice to see a show where a strong, complex bond between girls is at the forefront. My only real complaints about the show are the anime original ending is noticeably a bit rushed (though it’s not too bad, and leaves room for a season 2) and I wish the animation used the whole “shadow” theme more strikingly (like the opening and endings do)- instead the colors are a bit washed out which makes the shadows blend into the background sometimes. The “debut” arc also drags a bit in places, but it makes up for it by having a lot of good character integration.

I hope to check out the (full color)! manga soon and see more of this quirky, shadowy story. There’s some physical abuse depicted, sad things happening to characters and naturally the whole “oppressive familial system” thing, but otherwise not much I can think of to warn about. I give this one a big rec, especially If you’re a fan of gothic fairytales and stories of self discovery.

Zombie Land Saga Revenge

Quickest summary: In this sequel season, everyone’s favorite zombie idol group must claw their way back into prominence after a disastrous show- the fate of the Saga prefecture LITERALLY depends on it!

This was a fun follow-up to the first season- if you liked the first zombie-girl romp, you’ll probably enjoy this one. In fact, there were a couple areas it improved on- namely, Kotaro failed, ate crow and embarrassed himself a lot more this season, which made him more likeable (as did the fact the girls gained a lot of independence from him). This season also shed more light on what the ‘goal’ of this zombie raising project is and what kind of shit Kotaro got involved with to make this happen, and it’s appropriately off-the-wall and ridiculous. We finally got some backstory for Yugiri too! I wish it had focused on more of her interiority, but she got to be a badass in it, and it was a treat to see this zombie idol show turn into a period piece for a couple episodes (also her song ruled).

Tae also got a cute focus episode and there was a particular SMASHING performance early on! Also That revelation last season that had the potential to turn creepy hasn’t yet, and hopefully never will. The finale was heartwarming with big hints of more drama to come- I’m definitely down for more zombie hijinks!

Vivy: Flourite Eye’s Song

Quickest Summary: A songstress AI named DIVA (nicknamed Vivy) is approached by another AI named Matsumoto, who says he’s from the future and they must work together to prevent AI exterminating all of humankind 100 years from now.

This show is absolutely gorgeous visually with some really nice action scenes, but when it comes to the story my feelings basically amount to a shrug. It’s fine! I guess! Vivy starts out as an interesting layered character- and I guess still is by the end- with her stoic but stubborn determination bouncing off her fast-talking bossy partner Matsumoto well. She never listens to him, which is delightful. The way the show took place over the course of 100 years was an interesting conceit as well. However, it bought up a lot of themes and then sort of... dropped them. For instance, Vivy interprets her mission (PRIME DIRECTIVE if you will) as protecting humans at all costs, no matter how destructive said humans are or what their fate is supposed to be, and is perfectly willing to murder her fellow androids to do this, showing she inherently thinks of androids (herself and her own people!) as less worthy. Which is a little alarming! There’s a very dramatic point in the show where they bring this up as a potential conflict for her character but then it’s sort of...dropped. Pretty much.

Actually, despite the premise, the show doesn’t dip into the “AI rights” as much as you think it would with the main theme being more about Vivy’s search to find her own creativity and discover what it means to ‘pour your heart into something’. Vivy herself doesn’t actually care if she has rights or anything. Which is in some ways fine, because ‘AI as an oppressed class’ has been done to death, but IT’S ALSO KIND OF IN THE PREMISE, so that means that the show just shrugs really hard at a lot of the questions it brings up basically just going “humans and AI should work together probably” and that’s it. There’s a lot that feels underexplored. The antagonists in the show also either have motivations that don’t really make sense or have boring hackneyed motivations. In the finale in particular, it feels like a lot of things happen “just because” and it falls a little flat.

I also have to warn that one of the arcs focus on a robot ‘pairing’ where the dude-coded robots actions toward his partner are straight up awful and rob her of her autonomy, but it’s played like a tragic love story. I suppose you could read it differently too, but it definitely made me go ‘ew’ the story seemed to want me to sympathize with this robo dude,

Overall, I wouldn’t anti-recommend this show, it’s an all right little sci-fic romp (and definitely SUPER pretty). My favorite element was definitely the episodes where Vivy develops an entirely new (an loveable) personality, because it played with the idea of of an AI getting “rebooted” really well and interplay between her two “selves” was done really well. But there are a lot of other parts of the show that just feel...a little underexplored and empty, making me have an ‘eh’ feeling on the show overall. It’s definitely an ambitious project, and while it didn’t quite stick the landing, there’s something to be said for a show that shoots for the stars and falls short over a show that just languishes in mediocrity.

Fruits Basket The Final

Quick summary: The final season of that dramatic drama about that weird family with a zodiac curse and the girl who loves them.

It’s very weird that after not cutting a lot out, they kinda sped through some material for, you know, the finale. I guess they thought they couldn’t stretch this final arc to 26 episodes? Or weren’t cleared for another double cour? However, though there were a couple places that felt awkward, despite being a bit condensed it mostly held together pretty well for a D R A M A T I C and ultimately heartwarming conclusion. I was really disappointed they kept the part where Ritsu cut their hair for the ‘happy ending’, I thought their intro episode not showing them in men’s clothes meant the anime had decided their presentation didn’t need to be “fixed” but WELL I GUESS NOT. That was the only big upset for me though, otherwise the adaptation went about how I expected, sticking to the source material. Furuba has a lot of bumps, from weird age gap stuff to ...gender, but it also has a lot of important feels and great character arcs. It was a gateway shoujo for many and has its important place in animanga history, so I’m glad it finally got a shiny, full adaptation.

#anime overview #spring 2021 anime #shadows house #oddtaxi #zombie land saga #fruits basket #vivy: fluorite eye's song #zombie land saga revenge #fruits basket the final #anime #my reviews #long post

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onisiondrama · 4 years

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(Note: I’m not repeating stories he’s told before and just putting them in parenthesis. I have a lot more videos to go until I’m caught up so that would save me a lot of time. If he gives details I never heard from him before, I will type those.)

“Women Who Run With Wolves” Speaks, September 21, 2020

- Says someone came to his forum and said the stories of the 6 women who are accusing him are immaculate. He questions what 6 women. - Say there were 3 women he dated. Says he dated Shiloh 10 years ago until she got pregnant with another man’s baby. Then his husband Kai stepped in and they’ve been married 8 years. They were in one serious poly relationship, Billie. The other they weren’t serious about because they were sexually extorted. - Says he was told Adam was just Regina dressed up as a guy. There was a shadow over Adam’s face. He says you’d say that’s insane, why would a “victim” (hand quote) dress up as a dude so they could be on Hansen’s show twice and get clout twice? [This must be the video this screen shot was taken from. edit: it was from “You Are Your Own Worst Enemy”] He tells viewers to watch the footage of each interview and compare. - Says Regina is someone with a 2 year age gap with Kai, so there’s no potential for something weird there. Says he (James) never spoke to or met Regina. He says he heard Regina and Shiloh were ripped apart on lolcow or 4chan, says just like everyone else who is mentally whack. Says apparently Regina pretended to be a transgender person. Again, says study the footage and compare Regina and Adam. - Says Luxymoo was 20-something when he had a conversation with her. Says he told her he needed someone to keep Kai company while he was working, so if she wanted to date Kai that’s fine. He says he told her he (James) doesn’t have to be part of the relationship. Says she’s a “victim” (hand quote) even though he never met her. - (Lists Shiloh’s lies during their relationship.) Says he only calls Shiloh crazy because Sarah is not as nutzo as Shiloh and Billie is not as nutzo as Sarah. Billie is the most mentally sound, even though she’s vindictive and has anger problems. - Says Maya was debunked hard. He says he posted her texts about how into him she was and how she was sorry and wanted to try again. He says he asked her out and kissed her on the lips when she said yes. [He puts his hands up] “Sorry, I guess I wasn’t supposed to do that.” [in a mocking tone.] Says she got mad at him because he asked to pick her up and carry her to the other room so they could play VR and she said yes. Says she was 24 at the time. - Says you guys don’t care about the actual facts. You say children, but there were no children involved. - Says a normal accusation is someone kept me in a cage and sprayed me with a hose, but you guys believe the most ridiculous nonsense and the mob thinks it all makes sense. “He’s a masterful kisser after asker-outer.” [mocking tone again] - Says he feels like the people he broke up with all together and tried to imprison him. The FBI, Hansen, the cops, Shiloh all didn’t work out for you. - [Insults anti-o’s for a while, says they’re “mentally retarded” and deserve disability benefits among other things] - [insults his exes, the usual shit he says in all of his video] - He shows his computer monitors and says he does computer work all day. He asks how does he has the time [he changes his thought, but I think he was implying he doesn’t have the time to date women.] He says people think if they have a pussy, they can woo him. Men and women tried to collaborate with him on Only Fans. He asks why would he do that if he doesn’t know them? He says “no” to them because he only has sex when he’s in love with someone or if he’s being essentially raped. Says he also had sex when he was in rebound mode and that sucked. He said they were both 26. - Says he knows how it feels to be duped by Shiloh. He was duped by her for a year even though he knew she was lying. - Says Nicholas DeOrio acts like a white knight and thinks people with vaginas can do no wrong. Says he tried to tell DeOrio (Shiloh lied about being knocked out story). - He says Shiloh told him there was a guy who abducted and raped her in his basement for weeks. He says he just realized he got mad at Ricegum when he asked a girl if getting raped hurt because he (James) asked Shiloh that too, but not the same way. “Was it always torture for you?” She told him sometimes your body betrays you, but she ever enjoyed what he did. He says he didn’t know why he asked and says he was an idiot, 24 at the time. He says he doesn’t know if that really happened, but one time she said she saw her kidnapper a block away. James said he’ll beat the crap out of him if he’s a rapist, but she said no and that they needed to go. Says it was near a Korean BBQ in crowded downtown Toronto. He says it might have been close to where the into to one of the Saw movies was recorded. Says there was also a music store and a costume store so you guys can look at the maps and find out where he was. Says he likes to be transparent and no matter how many times you ask him questions he’ll always give the same answers. - Says you literally reported him to the cops with a LeafyIsHere video. Teenagers think just because you have an opinion of someone, you can cancel them and ruin their life. - Says he didn’t meet these people. Says he met Maya and he gives a sarcastic apology for kissing her. Says she didn’t complain about it right after. He went downstairs and made her breakfast after he kissed her.

“Onision Is The New Johnny Depp“ Speaks, September 22, 2020

- Says people tried to deplatform him when this all started. Says that’s weird because if someone was guilty, you’d want them to talk as much as possible. Unless you were the one hiding something. He says it would be weird for someone who talks as much as him to go quiet. - (Hansen is a fraud, he made a lot of money off of alleged victims) - Says there’s an alleged show that’s asking commentary Youtubers to be on. They weren’t there. How desperate are they? Asks if you watched a documentary and thought how great would it be if that random commentary Youtuber was in it? Says they didn’t even ask the guy who the show is about for comment. - Asks where all the funds go for the TV show. Asks if people are paid to be pretend victims. - Tells his audience to compare Regina and Adam again. Said a Hansen insider [Vincent? lmao] told him they were the same person. He says he already suspected it, but the insider told him without him asking. Says it’s demented and crazy to go on a show twice pretending to be two different people. Says it’s said Regina’s a hardcore drug user and it might have fried their brain. Says he doesn’t know and Regina should speak about it. - Says he was told the people he dumped had a falling out. - Says he tried to work things out with Billie after, but she said “haha f-you.” Says Billie dumped Kai once in a car. - Says it’s clear the show is not for justice. If you want justice, you go to the police or get a lawyer. If you want clout, you go on a livestream or a TV show, start a Venmo, promote your album, Only Fans, etc. - Says if it was all true, there’s still no crime. It also alienates everyone else he ever dated. - Someone said “good morning to everyone but Onision.” He says so you just said hello to Hitler? - He says if a 19-year-old dude goes after a 16-year-old, people call him a pedo, but that’s not a pedo. Says it’s fine in a lot of states with the Romeo and Juliet laws. - Says people were paying attention to him because they thought he was melting down. He gave them what they wanted and he posted the bloopers to prove it. Says he made a good amount of money off of those fake meltdown videos and it was fun for him. - Says he never met the MySpace dude who went on Hansen. Never met the girl who said her friend died because of his video. Says so many people went on the show acting like experts and he has no idea who they are. - Says Maya said she never liked him and he proved her wrong with her texts. She came out, he posts the texts, she walks away. Says she re-invented the past. Says she needs to get her head checked. People do things like this when they have mental illness. They are trying to be a victim. He says that’s a common BPD thing, but he doesn’t know if she has that. - Says the commentary channels are just as bad as these fake me too’s because they make money off of the situation. Money is the root of all evil and if you follow they money, you’ll see the patterns. If they pretend to be heroes, why don’t they support charity? - He says if the company who is making the show has a lot of money, he can sue them. If you watch all his videos and aren’t mentally ill, it’s beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is nonsense. - Someone asked why he made this the theme of this channel. He says people won’t drop it and let him move on. He won’t stop fighting for the truth, even if it drives his channel into the ground. - (They are framing him because he dumped them.) - Says someone walked in on his video and he had to cut it. - Says Shiloh’s been stalking him for 10 years. She told him even if he was married with kids, she’d show up on his doorstep. She said they when they were listening to an Adele song. He says that’s mental illness. Says she contacted Kai. Tells her to move on, why are you obsessed? - Says if you were being honest, why would you not show up on a show? Says if they don’t want to collect money, they can donate it to charity. He says they’re already in too deep because they collected money. He tells the show, Edwin, Repzion, and Hansen to donate to TWLOHA if they care about actual victims. - He says using me too to get money is a guaranteed gateway to hell. Says real victims don’t want to report it because they don’t want to talk about it or see their abuser again. Says they were obsessively talking about him. Says he heard Sarah was playing a drinking game while watching his videos. He says she wasn’t really his ex because she sexually extorted him when she was an adult. Says she’s a rapist and she admitted it. She was beyond 18 by some time. - Says it’s sad there’s no consolation prize for him for being framed and sexually extorted. Says a creepy old man showed up to his house, he was egged the next day, people tired to swat him, tried to commit perjury against him to get his channels taken down. People think he’s disgusting even though he’s innocent, like Johnny Depp. If you have a taste in crazy women, you’re doomed. - Says he’s forever socially tainted with the lies of others. The silver lining is he can tell his viewers to avoid relationships with people who pretend to be victims. He tried to save Shiloh and Sarah. Shiloh faked a rape, car accident, pregnancy. Sarah said she was beat by her mom and raped. - Says Shiloh implied she started talking to him when she was 16. He says that’s not true, unless she emailed him. Says he got a lot of emails. Says she made a comment that he only paid attention to her because she was a Canadian popstar. He says that’s true and he only emailed her back because it was good for his career. He said it wasn’t about her age and that’s why Kai lied about his age. Kai knew if he didn’t lie about his age, James would have stopped talking to him. By the time James found out the truth, he already fell for him. It was legal. Says there’s taboo and there’s the law. - Says a dude can stab 20 people, but people will still just make videos and a documentary about how he broke up with a girl for being a criminal. - Says he can’t trust anyone anymore. Sarah told him she’d never be like Billie or Shiloh and they were evil. She would up being them. Says Sarah was the most criminal of them all and bragged about it on twitter. He asks if they’ll include that on the documentary.

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inkstain3d · 4 years

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I was thinking bout my boi Malik again (Obey Me Version) and what he’d think of all the bros.

[Fair warning, these will probably be mostly dirty lmao // not all but warning if you don’t like that stuff :3]

[Just for peeps that don’t know Malik, he’s a code vein oc with a demon’s eye. In the obey me verse, he is still a revenant. (Think Vampire with various powers if you don’t know what code vein is.

I do see him as a bit of an anti-hero, so he can come off as evil(?) but he’s got a good heart & usually makes good decisions ]

Lucifer:

Probably his favorite brother in terms of romance/love. He likes a challenge and Lucifer brings it all, along with a charming personality that hits Malik’s heart in the perfect way.

Loves his fashion sense & would honestly wear his suit one day if he let him.

Big on punishment. He loves to be defiant to Lucifer in the bedroom as he won’t submit easily. He enjoys being hurt (in a pleasurable way) as Lucifer tries to get him to submit.

Also loves when Lucy is in a softer mood and decides to leave his bites or hickies.

Loves how cute Lucifer looks when he’s sleeping and he loves it even more he’s the only one that can see it. - he would only take pictures if Lucifer gave him permission since he’s not one to take pictures much & if he did he wouldn’t share them on social media unless it was a normal date picture.

It honestly makes him very happy when Lucifer has his moments of jealously/possessiveness over him. He finds it cute.

Loves to help Lucifer cook things he’s bad at, but Lucifer is pretty resistant due to the hellfire mushroom cigar cookie incident.

Mammon:

Honestly don’t think he’s that annoying, but he will hang him upside down as well if he steals from him.

Actually feels bad for how he’s treated & tries to keep friendly relations with Mammon & keep the ridicule to a minimum.

Likes to to comfort mammon in the way of pets or cuddles if he’s feeling upset or hurt.

Does his best to help out Mammon when he’s in need of money, but levels the amount of yes and no so it doesn’t become a habit of bumming money off him.

Honestly wants to see Mammon piledrive someone naked like Levi told him he did once.

Mammon is more tsundere than Malik & because Malik is pretty dominant if you don’t know how to push back, he can easily be the dominant one here.

Often borrows Mammon’s glasses if he wants to look like a fuckboy

Leviathan:

Has no problems holeing himself up with Levithan in his room to play games or binge an anime.

Actually really likes his fish. If he watches them too long he will get sleepy

Likes Levi’s tail a bit too much. Levi can’t say no to him when he asks though because he enjoys how content Malik looks being curled in it.

fucking LOVES teasing Levi & how easy it is to make him climax with the smallest things.

Shares his anime spoils with Levi if he buys something.

cuddle buddy

Satan:

Solidarity

Satan and Malik get along pretty well considering Malik’s personality is close to Satans. The two also have friendly arguments because of this.

Satan and Malik tend to have pretty unique sex. Nothing as intense as with Lucifer, but more of a spicy love session that ends up with both of them being marked up.

Malik tries to help Satan with how he views himself, he is always open to listening to him rant or talk.

Malik loves giving Satan soft neck/face kisses and watching him get flustered.

Asmo:

Probably Malik’s least favorite brother, but does attempt to be friendly with him and listen/go along with his activities.

Asmo’s demeanor is a huge turn off for Malik. He really isn’t for the forceful way of flirting he does. He does try to express his feelings to asmo about this so he knows why he keeps his distance & hopes it will help Asmo calm down a bit.

He actually finds Asmo’s eye colors beautiful. (ofc his charm doesn’t work on malik)

Malik doesn’t mind him doing his nails, but he will not go to a nail salon.

Beel:

Trash food movie night with Beel on Friday nights.

Malik’s masochism is thrown out the window for Beel. Even though he knows he’s a living tank power wise, he can’t help but see him as a cinnamon roll that could kill him.

“Please carry me in your arms but don’t get seen.”

Beel is more than happy to sample Malik’s food when he tries out a new recipie.

Beel is probably the only one he will willingly bottom for (power bottom or regular bottom) simply because he is big and warm and he really loves how soft, but rough he is.

Belphie:

“Belphie, please stop being possessive. I’m right here and i’m sorry but i’m not exclusively yours and as you should know i’m banging pretty much all of your brothers.”

Honestly had fun trying to free Belphie since there was a lot of tension in sneaking up to talk to him everytime & risking the wrath of Lucifer.

Never trusted belphie when he first met him.

Loves sex with belphie when he actually goes all in. Otherwise he finds it boring unless he can get Belphie really loud when he’s topping. He doesn’t take too nicely to belphie falling asleep when they’re fucking.

DON’T COCKBLOCK ME BELPHIE!

*eyebrow twitches at belphie’s bratty behavior*

“If your teasing me, you better be ready to back it up. You fall asleep and I swear to god i’ll draw a dick on your face.”

#OC || Malik #Suggestive #malik voice: sweet jesus what did i get myself into

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fictionaljournalofbbwomans-blog · 4 years

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06.03.4040

DOLLAR DOLLAR BILL YO (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-LHFfFKCsY)

BB Womans wakes up; 08:45

Before opening her eyes or even feel conscious she throws a loud scream! She so angry this morning, her jaw hurts, it’s blood driping time for the month, and electro-postillions keep wetting her neck with discouragements on absolutely everything she needs to do. BW’s state is close to punch the walls, scream, jump, hurt herself but ventilates a while, opens the window, repeats a mantra, has a coffee and a cigaret and remembers how bad it was a few weeks ago, enabling pride to have gone this far and motivation to keep on.

So she sits and types under constant pressure to stop:

V2K: “Don’t do that BB, people are going to think you are crazy!”. This morning BB really wants to tackle the DIRTY CASH question!

V2K: “No BB, what are people going to think about you? You don’t like money, remember?”. The question at the tip of her finger is do you dear readers? Do you like Money?

BB: “Shut up ass-faces, let me concentrate… Mmmhhhh… Yes, how bad was it? BaaaaAAAAAd bitch baaAAAAD!… I tried to end my life for christ-sake… I had no hope to make it out of this misery… I was alone as always in my room, but loosing strength, remembering I never wished to live this life, and now that I am aware of being blood pumped, brain sucked and my limbs attempted to be controlled and automated this confirms how fucked I always thought it was and I figured dying could be my best exit plan… I might loose consciousness completely and just switch off… huh huh…?! Don’t EVEN have the right to fucking die!!! Fair? I have been lower though really... smashing dishes, cutting my hands, ripping my face, falling around, hitting myself… The G seemed so much more of a smoother idea… Wait that’s right, I am fucking Jesus and I don’t want to hurt or sadden anyone! Queen get the money!”

The only contact BB had with the world was her phone, emails and social media… She attempted to message some people to hint at the fact that she was going to end her days, but without being too clear, saying she wants to die is a reason to lock her up in hospital for a days and harass her to cease to resist to her robotic fate as well as use real sick patients to participate. A few mails here and there, Polo, her dad, her mother… How did this guy made it to her VIP list for suicidal notes? Not sure who else but turning around all the options for perpetrators that are given by the evil orchestrators. The messages were accusatory, sad and menacing but with a romantic rave infused twist because she always has to tell stories or write poems to get her ass out of trouble. “The truth! I want to say the truth!… Pfffff… Let me write! What are you trying to achieve? You know harassing me now is only powering me through writing more! You think I write well?! Cool for you! I am not trying to show skills, play a character, I am trying to save my ass from your puppet show! Do me a favour and go fuck yourselves!” A few breaths in and out and, another cigaret she should not smoke!

V2K: “C’est bien, C’est bien… On a compris… On va te libérer!”

BW: “I do not give a fuck what you do, nothing will stop me from expressing myself and exposing your despicable enterprise!”

It was day or night in a time and space that felt like in between life and death, she missed her friends nights and hang outs, because she did not want to impose her sorrow or provoke the Masters instructions for actions and loud laughter shooting orders. She was shaking and could not stand up anymore, had thrown her phone somewhere in her messy flat, but needed to find it now, she crawls around, thinking she heard it calling, and maybe that means someone wants her to live. Every time she fills up with another dose, neighbours are banging on her floor from under!

BB: “Pffffff, leave me aloooOOOOne!”

Some miracle lets her access her phone and dive in a long scroll down facebook and Instagram. She is looking for signs, and isn’t disappointed; Posts are mostly about her, what she said, what she likes… etc… Let us explain that more in depth a bit further. These posts have for aim to keep on inducing schizophrenia but the psychosis social media circus has a saving effect strangely, she is not crazy, what she knows is real and there is a reason to keep standing, at least for a little while, at least to try and make a change before departing from this sick sick SICK world.

BB: “LOVE is SICK!” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXdWxFj0y3s)

BB: “Anyway, let’s look forward now that we have made so much efforts to stay alive and healthy, let’s write a fucking budget with that pitiful amount of cash that is left for the whole month… Mmmmhhh… food… mmmmhhhh… fuck, I’ll never be able to repair my gear! And huuuuhhhh, people aren’t going to hire me with the rumours they spread… Are they? And I am fucking working all of the fucking time… and I need a flat… and I want a dog… and… wait a second… how much are people making for digging my brain, recording it’s waves and traumatising me? WAIT! First the V2K staff… Huh, how much are you making an hour to harass and rape me? I do more than half of your job! Care to share your salary hyenas?… What about the others? What could push someone to take action towards hurting someone else or induce their paranoid state?… Again I am wondering? Are they intimidated? Or are they being my datas to make some dirty cash? Make music? Produce series, films, advertisements? Code new websites and algorithms? Write thought reading studies and experimentation reports? Print billboards?… Again… wawaiwaiwaiWAIIIIIIT! Question is not only how much do they get for it but most importantly how much do they fucking MAKE from it…?”

Now we could write our beloved reader a poetic little paragraph to expose all the details BB backed up from what and how it is all organised around her, what acts are performed and capitalism produced, but BB has nothing to prove and certainly not that she can write, so here is a vulgar run down;

Instagram + Facebook

Instructed posts about: making sushi, nobody loves her, she likes to have brunch, she often hides under table, her sexual persona is named Mood, cuuuute, she wanna fuck, who are they? Dogs, rats, horses, Unicorns, pink, red… Yak, yak yaaaak. She has precise theories on how instructions present, here is the most likely; Members of her social media entourage probably receive a series of options to choose from and can fashion their stories or posts as wished. Instagram also provides animation to add on their images like the Rat or the Horse one, maybe the fire was a thing too?

Videos made by different video channels, an obvious one is “THE VIEW” on facebook with pop stars and actors; Woopy Goldberg, Alicia Keys (On Instagram: “You at the back, listen and shut up…”; referring to her joke about being a teacher and V2K bad actors being her pupils), Scarlet Johanson and questions about her underwear and body size!!!? What the fuck? Sometimes actuall speaking live of celebrities sometimes just picture montages with written quotes. On suicidal season, some of these videos were called: “If you are about to give up, watch this!”, people said things like, “It’s a story of numbers”… Bla blablablabla

Tracks under- and over- different scenes

Describing her actions, loneliness, her writing poems, being ridiculous, liking to walk in Paris, her fears, Her horoscopes, her obsessions…

Actions

As mentioned before people crossing her in the street reiterating what she has done the day before, where do they receive these? From whom? Whats app?

scripts

With subjects to talk about, words to mention, things to remind her, ways of acting or falling down miming her… when to laugh and as loudly as possible please. Often these recent days, she can identify the speeches directed to her because it is performed obviously loud, making her feel like a theatre spectator, she guesses it is to make sure she does hear it over her repetitive thinking mantra loops she has developed and self defence and tactics to avoid repeating offensive and self incriminating sentences like: “I am a pedophile”, or “Black person... hhhmmm nooooo, Big dick” or getting blocked on a genital drumming thought session or “I find her ugly...” Etc EEETTTTCCCC...!

Adds

Relating to her teeth, selling fairy lights for your room, denouncing capitalistic routine, Job offers… this list is endless and could spiral towards unrealistic revelations.

Audio announcements in Public spaces or billboards

Radio

Programme relating to her struggles, comments and jokes making fun of her

Tape recording sold in shops she regularly visit

Talking about her refusal to work… “Warum Nicht?”, Her Birthday…

Without counting weird emails

From company she uses telling her they like their customer well caffeinated, people advertising their music to be featured on her radio…

And we could keep that up for a while, but our tired anti-hero has it up up UP over her head to try and prove she really does know about it all while getting harassed with contents making her feel bad for placing herself in the middle of it all: “The world is not turning around you BB” Friends would say some years back.

Now lets point out all the money she has had and still have to spend to survive, no wait, another waste of time? It is utterly obvious; medicines too calm down, machinery to find out more about the electro harassment, countless hard drives to save her datas, replacing her fucked up devices, or simply time spent researching and unveiling Patriarchal societies secret studies and machineries to learn and spread awareness so to build a network of allies. Then there is all the drug taking and urge to spend that is induced by the Bastards… Getting fired, not being able to find a job, what else… cream for wounds… food to eat her lack of affection… massages to undo her nerves that are conducting the electro current through her limbs to her brain, LUNCHES, BRUNCHES!

Do you believe BB deserves to get reimbursed? Do you believe she deserves to get paid even? How much could they have generate from their tests, products, results and new high tech machine building, or add placing on social medias, or could we go down in this darker deeper hole of wondering if they make money from the audience avid to follow the thinking series of her intimidation? She thinks 50/50 sounds right, but as it is a story of numbers, and hers is 33!

BB: “Soooo Double that... Mmmhhh... What about 66% of your studies earnings nasty rat-bags? If you want to share your illegal cash born out of my fucking brain waves, do that! send me a fucking email or transfer direct into my bank account you know the passwords and details from by heart, I might be able to get on writing my book, make art, music, get onto my project to empower womxn to speak without fear, now that I am an expert at it!

#whistleblower #bbwomans #mind control activism #individual control #exploitation #theft

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antimatterpod · 4 years

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Transcript - 49. Living My Red Spiky Truth

Click here to listen to the original episode.

Liz: Welcome to Antimatter Pod, a Star Trek podcast where we discuss fashion, feminism, subtext and subspace, hosted by Anika and Liz. Today we're discussing the newly announced Strange New Worlds.

Anika: But before we get into that, a brief word about the ongoing protests and the Trekkies Together campaign. We are recording on the 5th of June 2020, and the protests that were initially sparked by George Floyd's death have been going on for almost a week now. They're continuing. There are protests in my tiny, tiny New England state all the way through June 19th.

Liz: Wow!

Anika: So it's not something that's going to calm down any time soon, I don't think. So I think that this will still be relevant in a couple of days. And basically, Star Trek fansites and podcasts are coming together to stand against racial discrimination and police brutality, because we think that those things go against Star Trek ideals.

Liz: Right.

Anika: The suggested donation is $47. I don't really understand why 47 is an important number, but there's a recurrence -- many recurrences of the number 47 in all of the Trek since, I think, Next Generation? I think is when it started?

Liz: Yeah.

Anika: So for that reason, the $47 -- and it's low enough that people who -- like me -- look at their bank account, "I also have to pay my mortgage!" feel like they can make that contribution and have it stand for something. So the suggested donation is $47, or however much you are able to give, made to the ACLU, a Black Lives Matter organisation, or a bail fund or outreach program in your local community.

Liz: We don't have an ACLU in Australia -- we kind of need one -- but there are lots and lots of organisation supporting Australian Black Lives Matter and justice for Indigenous people and African Australians, who are also not treated very well by our police and justice system. I will tweet out a list of possible organisations and fundraisers.

My favourite is the GoFundMe for #FreeHer, which is run through the organisation Sisters Inside. Basically, Western Australia has a law which says, if you cannot pay a fine, you have to serve time in prison. And this disproportionately affects Indigenous people, particularly Indigenous women.

Anika: Ugh.

Liz: So FreeHer raises money to pay those fines and get women out of jail.

Anika: Good.

Liz: Yeah.

Anika: The Bail Project is similar. No one should be stuck in jail for months at a time just because they're poor and can't pay the bail. That's just ridiculous.

Liz: Yeah. It's terrible. If you're in Australia, or anywhere in the world, really, have a google around and find out what your local legal organisations are. The various Indigenous legal services often rely on donations from the public, and there are a lot of other groups, too, including, in Australia, individual communities and families raising money to investigate the deaths of their loved ones in police custody.

Anika: All right! Now let's talk about Star Trek.

Liz: It's so hard to pivot from this serious and terrible matter to … Star Trek!

Anika: Because [Strange New Worlds] is being very, very much sold as a return to the bright, shiny, happy people version of Star Trek that certain portions of the fandom have been clamouring for.

Liz: You know, when it was first announced, I looked at it and thought, "It is 2020 and you are announcing a brand new Star Trek with an all-white cast." Like, the three characters we know who are in it are all white. And honestly, that feeling hasn't gone away. I was very negative about the concept when it first appeared, and I'm less negative now, but I still have a lot of reservations. And even if it turns out to be a great show, I think, right now, the optics are very bad.

Anika: Yes, this announcement came out before the protests started. I think that it would have been even more problematic if it came out in the middle of this. And that almost makes it more problematic that it -- looking backwards, it's like, ooooh, we thought it was problematic before, and now?

I just feel really -- I understand that these are the three actors they have under contract. That's my theory, that's my assumption, is that this is in the very beginning stages, it's in production, those are the three actors that they have a contract for, you know, lead actors. Like, I get that from a corporate standpoint. As someone who's strictly anti-capitalist? I don't care.

Liz: Right. I understand there are logistics involved here, and even there was a fabulously diverse cast -- well, no, we would still know who they were. I just--

Anika: I think they should have waited until they had more than just those three white people.

Liz: Yeah.

Anika: If they even just included, like, Lieutenant Amin, and Sira Thindu from the Short Trek, at least they are not white. At least there's that tiny bit of maybe we have some diversity here.

Liz: Yeah, but three main white characters and a diverse background cast is still an issue.

Anika: Oh yeah, absolutely. I'm a little scared, because it really, really feels like they are pushing this, "this is your father's Star Trek" idea.

Liz: Yeah. And, for the record, my father's Star Trek was Doctor Who. My mother's Star Trek was Star Trek.

Anika: I guess you can sort of look at it like, well, original Star Trek was three white men. Now they have two white men and a white woman! And it's like, you know what? That is not the gotcha you thought it was.

Liz: It really is not.

Anika: That is not progress, guys!

Liz: No!

Anika: Especially when you think that Number One was kicked off -- like, she was a part of the Original Series, and maybe it's progress that now she can actually be a part of it? But that's only progress for white women.

Liz: Right!

Anika: It's not actual progress. There's a difference.

Liz: And I love seeing women in roles, and I love many, many white female characters -- hello, Katrina Cornwell -- but there is room for more women of colour, and people of colour, to be the heroes of their own stories in Star Trek. And this -- it just feels like such a retrograde step.

Anika: In the Original Series, there were three main characters. In the first season, there were only two who got in the credits. And McCoy was added for the last two seasons. So the way it's being marketed, with these three people being announced, it really feels like this is the main cast. And yeah, anyone added will be secondary. And it should be that there are at least seven people in the "main cast", quote-unquote. That's how it has been since Next Generation.

Liz: Yeah. Certainly one of the complaints about Discovery is that there isn't that big ensemble story, and so if they're trying to recapture the people moaning that Discovery is doing something different, then they need an ensemble cast. So maybe we'll get that, I just -- I could not get excited about this whole concept.

Anika: I could only get excited from a shipping standpoint. That's literally the only thing I got excited about. You and I, we've both said on this podcast, we don't actually need a Captain Pike show. We're the two lone voices saying, "I don't really care about that." So it's fine. I'm not opposed to more Star Trek. But it needs to be more than just a Captain Pike show, it needs to be more than just, this is your father's Star Trek. It really feels like they're going backwards.

Liz: I have to confess that I am a massive hypocrite. Because if Kat was alive, I would be overjoyed at the possibility of another show that she could make appearances in. And I would still be -- all of my objections to the retrogradeness -- that's a word, I've decided it's a word -- all my objections to the concept and the casting and everything else would stand, but I would be far, far more positive. And I just want to confess that I am hypocritical in that respect.

Anika: What I need to confess is that I'm still unable to reconcile my feelings about Kat. I want to delete my playlists for her from Spotify. I haven't posted about her, or said anything about her, in -- I haven't written any fic about her -- in months. Since season 2, I've done nothing for or about Kat. I just … I can't. I'm so cut off. It's like I cut that out of my life, or something. So I have no feelings whatsoever. I can't imagine that -- I don't know what I would feel if Kat were still alive, because I have just completely -- I don't know how to feel that anymore.

Liz: There is a song that I have not listened to since she died, because it was so closely linked with my feelings about that character. And I tried, and I almost started crying on the bus, and I was like, I am having too many emotions, it is unacceptable, I don't like it. And then, you know, the other week, I watched the interview with Jayne Brook from the guy --

Anika: Which I loved!

Liz: It was great!

Anika: It was so cute and fun. It was not polished in any way, and I liked that.

Liz: Yeah. And she's not the type of actor who really gets to go in-depth about her work and career. She has a long career of supporting roles, basically. And I always find it really interesting to see people with that kind of career talk about their work, and their professionalism, and the stuff she was saying about, you know, acting is a unionised job, and it's work. That was really enjoyable.

And then they got talking about Kat's death, and she's saying, you know, she's not going back. And I almost started crying again, because apparently, it's almost a year -- over a year later, and I'm still -- it's still a fresh wound. And I'm like, should I go to therapy? Is this a normal amount of feelings to have about a fictional character?

Anika: [laughing] I think that everyone knows -- I'll be straight with you -- I'm not over all of 2019 in terms of fictional characters who died. I don't know how I'm going to ever heal from all of this. Because it's still -- it's all over my walls. I just don't know what to -- yeah, maybe I would be much more into it if Kat was alive and we could have more stories about her, even with Discovery leaving and going into a different time. I can imagine the alternate universe where that would happen, and I would be excited.

But I -- you know, some people have suggested that she could come back as mirror!Kat, or it could be a prequel, and none of that excites me.

Liz: I don't mind the idea of mirror!Kat, except that I have such firm ideas of who mirror!Kat could be that it would be really hard to get go of them.

Anika: I would be happy for Jayne Brook, but I wouldn't be happy for me.

Liz: No.

Anika: If that makes sense.

Liz: If it helps, I read an article which said that it is not uncommon for people to become -- to be deeply affected by the death of a fictional character, and it tends to happen to people who have a great deal of empathy. So we're not completely losers, we're just deeply empathetic! And I always swore I wouldn't be the type of woman who tells you first up how deeply empathetic she is, because wow, what a wank. But! [laughs]

Anika: We're just Betazoids!

Liz: Yeah!

Anika: Or half-Betazoids, I guess.

Liz: Also my aunt died not long after Kat was killed, so that's -- anyway. I'm just gonna… [sound of a tissue being pulled from the box, but I edited out the LOUD HONK as I blew my nose]

Anika: Yeah. So yeah, so that was just my -- my side trip to "I don't know when I will start feeling normally about Kat Cornwell again". I hope it's sometime.

Liz: It would be nice to feel normal.

Anika: I don't know, I don't think it's going to be this year. That's where I'm at. Based on how this year has gone so far? It's not gonna-- [laughs]

Liz: There is so much 2020 that it's almost like we don't have space to process anything else that we were processing? Like, so much of my bandwidth is just … yeah. Honestly, getting together with you and talking about Star Trek for an hour a fortnight is really good for my mental health.

Anika: Right! It gives me something to focus on that is--

Liz: Not life or death!

Anika: --hopeful. Yes, exactly. Maybe you need a little bit of frivolity in order to stay sane.

Liz: Right!

Anika: And I'm not saying that Star Trek is frivolous, don't yell at me, people. I'm saying that it's not on par with everything else that's going on.

Liz: I really hope that's not a controversial statement.

Anika: No.

Liz: I will say -- because I check Twitter first thing when I wake up, which is a very bad idea, and I strongly recommend not forming that habit. But this was in the good old days, when I rolled out of bed and looked at Twitter, and the first thing I saw was the announcement of a new Star Trek. Instead of a new human rights violation, which is great. And because I had different standards three weeks ago, I was like, THIS IS TERRIBLE, I HATE IT. I believe I tweeted a picture of a loaf of bread and said something about Star Trek: White Bread.

And then I realised that I was spiralling, so I went out and did some angry gardening for a couple of hours. Which is how I sprained my wrist. But that really did make me feel better, and I strongly recommend pulling weeds when you're spiralling. But it occurred to me as I came in that this is an opportunity to revisit characters like Ash and L'Rell, and even Sarek and Amanda, and all the people who were left behind when Discovery jumped into the future. Which was a loss that I was really, really feeling!

Anika: Absolutely.

Liz: That's when I felt my first flicker of positivity towards Strange New Worlds.

Anika: Until I started making the list for our notes for this episode, I was -- I sort of thought of Sarek and Amanda. I was like, okay, they're related to Spock, so they should be in the show, right? That makes sense.

But I put Ash on the list, and I was like, I forgot that Ash might get to show up! I was really upset, because his character was mishandled so much that in the end, I loved him. In the end, I was like, you know what? He is such a terrible character that they twisted into a pretzel of what he should have been that I love him, and I want to see him succeed, and I want to see more of him. It was like, he was mistreated, and so therefore I need more. I need him to be -- not Ash to be redeemed, because I don't think that Ash needs to be redeemed. I think that the characterisation of Ash needs to be redeemed, if the difference is clear.

We need to know when he was a Klingon, and when he was not a Klingon, and what all of that means, and how he feels about it. And we didn't get that. Which is -- I'm okay with it having been about Michael and, to an extent, about L'Rell. I'm okay with them taking centre stage in that story. I'm good with that, I think that they should be centred.

But Ash was sort of -- you know, he was pulled this way, and then he was pulled that way, and there was a lot of misdirection that I still, to this day, feel is really kind of cruel and unnecessary. And to the detriment of the character. So I would like to see more of Ash just being Ash, and coming to grips with his own personality and his own identity.

Liz: Right. And if he's now running section 31, that means his loyalties are no longer being pulled in a million different directions, and he can sort of sit down with himself and come to terms with his identity.

And also he's running a really sketchy organisation, now, and I have not forgotten that he's one of the people responsible for declaring Michael and Discovery secret forever. But as much as I'm still mad about that, maybe I'm not so mad at the characters anymore? I think, also, because Ash and Spock are so clearly grieving when they make that the decision that the real people I side-eye are Pike and Number One for going along with it, when -- you know, these guys should not be allowed to make decisions right now.

Anika: Right. I agree.

Liz: But Pike and Number One were also grieving, so everyone's a mess. This is the positive and optimistic Star Trek!

Anika: The idea that, in order to be positive and optimistic, you can't have -- like, there's this whole myth of … which may not be a myth, I dunno, that Gene Roddenberry was against conflict?

Liz: It was certainly true by the time he got into Next Generation, but he was also experiencing cognitive decline by then! So, you know. Do we really want the elderly man with messianic delusions to set the rules?

Anika: Just the idea that conflict, in and of itself, is bad, is -- like, look at the world!

Liz: I know!

Anika: You need conflict in order to take a stand and make change!

Liz: I know, and I hate that it takes protests and riots to make the world better, but … nothing else was working! People tried to do it quietly and peacefully.

Anika: Absolutely.

Liz: And they were dismissed.

Anika: And they were told that wasn't acceptable, either. That's the thing, if conflict is not -- protecting the status quo is always going to be racist and sexist, and a lot of other horrible things, because the status quo is -- something that has been around for centuries is, by definition, out of touch with current reality.

Liz: Right. And the thing about Roddenberry's so-called optimism, like, when Star Trek started, the optimism came in the concept that humanity would not destroy itself in the Cold War. And I am very into the optimistic idea that humanity is not going to destroy itself.

But, certainly in the Original Series, Roddenberry wasn't going, "and that means nothing bad happens, and that means humanity does nothing bad, ever." There are episodes of the Original Series about using primitive planets as the grounds for a proxy war with the Klingons. It's all through it. And a lot of that came from DC Fontana and Gene Coon, rather than Roddenberry himself. They were the ones who really got into the nitty gritty of his utopia.

But I think fandom has an idea of what Roddenberry's optimism was, and what Star Trek was, and it's quite separate from the reality.

Anika: Yes. So I'm concerned that this series is trying to, you know, grasp for the golden ring of the carousel that is "Gene Roddenberry's Vision".

Liz: Right.

Anika: I don't want that. I want off that carousel.

Liz: Roddenberry's vision was all very well, but the work was done by other people. Give me a series about DC Fontana's vision. I would enjoy that very much.

Anika: Oh my goodness.

Liz: I think the other thing is that it feels like they're pandering to the section of the audience that hated Discovery season 1, and liked it when Discovery season 2 was knocking off Next Generation episodes, and is mad that Picard had as much social justice content as it did. And why would you pander to those fans?

Anika: Yep.

Liz: It's The Rise Of Skywalker all over again. It's the Snyder cut! Which is apparently a thing that's going to come out!

Anika: Gross. Stop letting those people win. Because, at the end of the day, they're still not happy, and all the people who liked what you were doing are also unhappy.

Liz: Right.

Anika: So it's like, when you try to appease people who are angry, it doesn't work!

Liz: No, and particularly -- I'm going to call them the alt-right fans. Every appeasement just tells them that they can ask for more next time. And they will, until there's nothing left. You can't pander to these people. It's like when Voyager was constantly bending over backwards to get that mythical men-18-to-24-year-old demographic. It was rating really, really well -- with women. But that wasn't the audience that UPN wanted.

Anika: Yeah. So as someone who used to read comic books, and doesn't anymore because they made it very clear that they didn't want me in their audience. It gets tiring. It's like, I am the biggest nerd in my family. I have three brothers. Three brothers! No sisters! Just brothers! And I am easily the biggest nerd of them all, because I have a Star Trek podcast!

Liz: [laughs] You know, I was going to say my brother is much nerdier than me, but on those grounds, I definitely win. Sorry, Jules.

Anika: So this idea that women aren't fans, that minorities aren't fans, that queer people aren't fans? It's just ridiculous! First of all, those people are just people, and so the idea that they can't like Star Trek is just -- it doesn't make sense to me. Anyone can like anything, right?

Liz: Right!

Anika: They're people! So that's just crazy. And that writing a story that happens to include a woman, or a black person, or a queer person, is somehow pandering to that audience, and yet creating an entire series or changing the series that you have, or changing the movie that you have, to be more like what that vocal minority wants is not pandering? It's like, what is wrong with you people? You're just all crazy are wrong.

Liz: The loudest voices are the ones that get heard, and these days the loudest voices are the negative ones. And I even see it with our episodes. I look at the stats, and episodes where we talk about stuff we dislike get many more downloads than episodes where, you know, my description in the show notes is very positive. And I don't like that! Because it sort of encourages me to go harder on the negativity.

Anika: Right, that's the thing. It's the YouTube effect, where the people on YouTube that are complaining about something are the ones that get the most hits, and then therefore those are the videos that show up in your feed the most often. So they're just automatically clicked on because they're shown more often, and then they get more popular. And it just feeds on itself, and at the end of the day, they're creating a bunch of negativity out in the world.

Liz: Yeah, it's a feedback loop.

Anika: And sometimes truly horrible negativity, they're radicalising people. So it's just all -- it's all bad. And the positive voices get drowned out because people don't want to hear that. I don't understand. I don't know why liking something is less popular than not liking something.

Liz: It's also a question of who and where the positive voices are. Because, for example, the big science fiction link blog, File770, was linking to blog posts about Discovery in its first season -- but they were only linking to the negative ones. Like, YouTubers and -- basically the bloggers that the editors of the site already knew.

And I was going, okay, but here I am with my little blog -- and I'm certainly not uncritical of Discovery at any point, but I was very enthusiastic about it! And there were essays on Tumblr about what the series is doing well, and people were saying, "For the first time, I feel like there is a Star Trek that's for me, and I'm not just part of the audience by accident." None of that was getting picked up. Whereas the negativity on Reddit was getting upvoted, increasing its visibility, and -- yeah.

Anika: Yeah, because that doesn't serve their thesis. Their thesis is 'Discovery is bad for X, Y and Z reasons', and so you saying, "What about T?" doesn't help them. So they'd just rather say, "Oh, well, we didn't see that, and we're not going to amplify it."

Liz: Right. And so when you have the existing problem of male bloggers being very negative, and also having a higher profile than the female bloggers, the problem is amplified. And it's really frustrating. Not just because I think people should read my blog, and whatever, because … no, you should read my blog.

But it's not just about me, it's about whose voices are being amplified. And one of the things that I was trying to do was link to Tumblr posts and Dreamwidth posts, and the sorts of people whose thoughts were not being shared as widely as Joe Negativity on YouTube.

Anika: It's rough out there. And for every fandom and for every circle. They're all just -- this is a problem in every fandom I'm in, is where I'm at. I am in huge fandoms, I am in tiny fandoms, and all of them have this same problem of the very angry vocal minority getting all the attention .

Liz: And then, you know, there are times when things do need to be criticised, and it's hard because you don't want to sound like one of those people who hate everything.

Anika: Right, and the people who are on your side start downvoting you, because you're criticising. And there's a difference between criticism and "I never watched this show but I hate it because it has a black lead".

Liz: Right.

Anika: There's a line here that is being -- I just [sigh] I'm sorry.

Liz: And you don't have to like--

Anika: I get very worked up! Because I get upset.

Liz: No, no. But also, we don't have to like something just because it fits certain demographic boxes. Like, I stopped watching Doctor Who when Chibnall took over, because I watched the first three episodes with Thirteen, and -- I really love Jodie Whittaker, I think she's fantastic in the role, [but] I remembered that I hate Chris Chibnall's writing. So, you know, I'm really sad that I am not consuming the first female Doctor with everyone else, but I also know that media's not going anywhere, and one day I will find it streaming, or pick up the DVDs, and I will watch it, and I'll … probably like it okay. But right now, when it's the current thing, I kind of just don't want to.

Anika: And that's fine. If everyone was just like that, and was like, "I don't like this and so I'm not gonna watch it, but I'm not gonna get on YouTube and say it shouldn't exist?"

Liz: Right.

Anika: I would like everyone to be like that.

Liz: [giggles]

Anika: But the thing is that these people know -- like, they make money off of it. It's like, their outrage is not even real. There is a kernel of outrage, and they explode it in order to get all those views, in order to get all of those voices, in order to make a splash, and make a name, and get money.

Liz: Right! Right.

Anika: And this is why I'm anti-capitalist.

Liz: [giggles]

Anika: I mean, one of the many reasons, to be clear.

Liz: And also, we don't have a Patreon. We're not making money off this podcast.

Anika: I know! By the way…

Liz: I did look into it, because I pay US$14 a month for hosting. But we average about a hundred listeners an episode, so it could be cool if everyone chucked in a dollar, but I don't really think it's worth it. And it's not a particularly egregious [I meant onerous] amount of money for me to be paying. If that changes, I will let the world know!

Anika: I mean, I have a Patreon, and I have a Ko-Fi, and I make, like, $6 a month. It is not big bucks here. Because I don't promote it! I'm terrible at it! I am terrible at having those things, because it's really anathema to me to be like, "Heyyyy, give me money for this thing." Because I don't want to need the money, you know?

Like, I said earlier that I have a mortgage, and so I can't always give as much money to charities as I want to. And that's true, but I don't want people to pay me so that I can pay charities. That doesn't seem to solve the problem. The charities shouldn't have to exist in the first place. I'm terrible. I'm really, like, money shouldn't exist.

Liz: One of the notes in our show notes here is "optimism versus idealism". Which is a rant that you started last week, and I started a couple of days before that in our Discord, but -- so I'm an optimist, okay? I think, generally, things are gonna work out for the best. I thought that before Brexit. I thought that before the 2016 presidential election. [I'm not even going to get into the last Australian Federal election. I'm still sad.] I thought that about Covid!

I've gotta say, optimism doesn't seem to be…

Anika: It's not working out for you?

Liz: I don't think I can ever stop myself from looking at the bright side to some extent. But optimism doesn't require you to do anything. Optimism is re-opening Florida even though the virus is still rampant, and just hoping for the best. Idealism … requires you to do the work. And it's complicated, and it raises questions like, what ideals are you pursuing? And where do they come from? And will your ideals change if new information comes along? And I think … I don't want Star Trek to be optimistic. I want it to be idealistic. And I think, generally speaking--

Anika: It is.

Liz: Yeah. Discovery is a hugely idealistic show. And so was Picard, it just…

Anika: Oh gosh, Picard is so idealistic.

Liz: It's idealistic to the point of poor writing. Like--

Anika: Exactly!

Liz: Simply being idealistic doesn't cover all sins. But it's a starting point! And so I've started to cringe when I see the word "optimism", because I just … I don't believe in it anymore!

Anika: Yeah. So I am known for positivity. And I'm not sure it's the same as optimism. Because I think that optimism is like … everything is gonna be great, no matter what.

Liz: Yeah. Regardless of whether I do anything.

Anika: And positivity is, this is a dumpster fire, but it's keeping me warm. It's like finding something within the horrible to be positive about, that doesn't take away from the fact that it's horrible, and the reality of the situation, but is saying, I'm going to start from this. You know, because the thing is that the opposite of optimism is pessimism, right? And pessimism kills action.

Liz: Right.

Anika: And so you need that positivity in order to do something about it. If you're stuck in optimism, you're like, it's gonna be okay, no matter what I do. And if you're stuck in pessimism, it's, it's gonna be horrible, no matter what I do. But if you are an idealist, and you have positivity, you can say, this is awful, and I'm going to do these three things to make it better today. And then tomorrow I'm gonna do another three things. And then I'm gonna keep going until it does get better.

Liz: Right! And frankly, one of the reasons that I started to notice and like you in fandom around, on Tumblr and stuff, was that you are very positive, and when you don't like something, you make something better. And you don't get caught up in fights with other fans, and you don't put things down just for the fun of it. Which are both traps I'm prone to falling into, which is how I noticed their absence. And I really admire that about you! I think you do concrete things to improve your community.

Anika: Thank you! I really appreciate that. I certainly -- I think one of the best things that ever happened to me on Tumblr is, I get these asks, you know, messages from people, that say that, that say, "I disagree with you, but you're so polite, not in a fake, condescending way, but in a -- we can have a conversation about this on the same level, and not put each other down kind of way."

And I appreciate that, because I do, that's the community that I want. Everything is community to me. I think that's what we need to do, we need to build communities. No man is an island, and the only reason that humans have lived this long is because we're able to build communities.

And when they are -- you know, the whole point of something like Black Lives Matter is that this is the community that needs our help right now. And it doesn't matter about all these other communities, THIS is the community that needs help. We need to help THESE people, and we all need to realise that it matters, and we need to do something for it.

Liz: Save the whales doesn't mean fuck the dolphins.

Anika: Exactly.

Liz: Though--

Anika: Dolphins are whales.

Liz: --fuck those dolphins.

Anika: They're whales! Dolphins are whales!

Liz: [laughing] You know what I mean, though, when the campaign for--

Anika: Sharks! And -- let me be a proud momma for a second. My daughter, for her final project for Global Literature -- and she has had a terrible year in school. Can we just say? It has been a horrible spring. And just getting to the point where we're doing our final project is a huge win. But it was about identity. She was writing her story. All of the distance learning that we've done in the spring has been about reading other people's stories, and the dangers of a single story, and how it's important to hear from many diverse voices. Even within the same community, even people who are identical in every other way will still have a different point of view.

So one of the things that she had to do was to react to some of these quotes. And I don't remember what the quote was, that she was reacting to, but her response was about the protests that are going on, and it was, 'all lives matters' ignores the fact that black people need our help right now. And that's such a simple way of saying it, and saying, like, this is just so easy to understand. And we should just live it.

Liz: What your daughter was saying, about needing many voices, it occurred to me that an episodic structure with self-contained stories is a really wonderful opportunity for diverse writers who don't have the background and experience to get into the writers room for Discovery, or something like that -- this is where they can start.

Anika: That's such a good idea! I would love if that was true. I have no idea how we can make that true, but I would love to somehow convince them that this is what we need, to give -- I mean, to be fair, Short Treks has tried to do that, tried to be like, okay, we're gonna give this random person a Short Trek to do.

Liz: Right, yes. But this is that, on a bigger scale.

Anika: Right, exactly. Taking that to the next level. And I think you're right, because then it's like, if it doesn't work, it's only this one episode. So who cares?

Liz: Right! And a writers room for a serialised story, you need everyone there all the time, whereas it seems like -- certainly in the '90s, with the pitching process, people might only be in the writers room for a couple of weeks, and then they come and go and learn. And if they do well, then they're added permanently. And I was thinking of all the new writers and really talented people that Star Trek discovered with its open door submission policy, and I don't think we can ever go back to those days, but at the same time, the world is full of talented, agented diverse writers who are so hungry for their chance. This is their opportunity -- it should be their opportunity.

Anika: Yes. 100%.

Liz: I know Mary Chieffo and Bo Yeon Kim have tweeted a lot about diversity in writers rooms, and the need for more people and more backgrounds at the writing level. And I'm like, I should tweet them and suggest this! And then they can move it up the chain!

Anika: Sure! Be brave! You can do it!

Liz: I was very eyerolly at the announcement that it would be episodic, but I'm starting to come around.

Anika: I'm really at the … whatever. Like, as long as -- okay, not whatever. Because if it is the worst possible scenario, which is all white writers room, you know, token diversity in casting kind of stuff, and there's still no queer people, for example, because we sent them all to the--

Liz: Thirty-third century.

Anika: --yeah, thirty-third century, then I am opposed. And I don't want to be opposed to anything Star Trek, but if it's something that doesn't do the bare minimum? In 2020? Then I have to be opposed.

Liz: The thing is, just because it's Star Trek doesn't mean I have to watch it. Like, I know we that we have this podcast, and I have a blog and all that, but I can just say, I'm gonna nope out of this one, and just as I did with Enterprise years ago, I will watch it at some other time, when I know that it will be followed by something better.

Anika: Yeah. I'm at wait and see. I really feel like they rolled this out to distract us from the pandemic, and the fact that we don't know when Discovery season 3 is coming. I really feel like that's why they did it--

Liz: Oh, absolutely.

Anika: --as opposed to, this was planned. So they botched that announcement, but it was because they weren't ready for it. Ethan Peck and Rebecca Romijn and Anson Mount were in their living rooms in their houses, filming themselves on iPhones. That was not how it would have gone.

Liz: [giggles] No, you think about the announcement of Star Trek: Picard.

Anika: So it's sort of like, okay. You screwed that up, but I get that you were trying to do something positive because the world was horrible. But now you have to follow that up with really fleshing out the rest of the crew, and I don't want to see a single white person. That's where I'm at. I don't know about everybody else.

Liz: No, no. I am so bored of white people in space.

Anika: I'm done with that. We got these three, that's enough. Everybody else should be not white.

Liz: I would like to see more than one-third of the cast be women. What about fifty percent?

Anika: Oh my gosh, what?

Liz: What about a trans character? What about human non-binary people?

Anika: These are just pipe dreams!

Liz: I know, SJW ticky boxes. What about a character in a wheelchair who is not tragic?

Anika: Who has a name??

Liz: That too. I'm just throwing ideas out there.

Anika: I'm sorry, I'm just very -- like, guys, you really have to follow up with something real. They really need to. They really, desperately need to go forward with this.

Liz: After Star Trek: Picard, we really need more than a Black Lives Matter tweet and a Pride line for June.

Anika: Right. Exactly.

Liz: Follow it up with the stories, please. Because that's what Star Trek is! It's stories! And we need different types of stories.

Anika: Lots of different types of stories.

Liz: I guess episodic structure means, in theory, we can have [that]. And I'm starting to come around to that idea, because it means we can do silly little one-offs like sex pollen! And this ambassador is weird and everyone has to put up with them! And sort of small slice-of-life stuff like that. I'm not thrilled about it--

Anika: I just need Spock and Number One to make out when the sex pollen happens. I really need that to happen. I know everybody wants Pike and Number One, but whatever. Spock and Number One, OTP.

Liz: But why not both?

Anika: Pike gets Lieutenant Amin because I am married to my headcanon that she has a crush on the captain.

Liz: I want to know about the red-skinned spiky woman who is apparently Yeoman Colt. Like, is she a shapeshifter? Was she taking a pleasing human form because she felt like she needed to fit in and she wanted the captain to think she was cute?

Anika: And now she's like, screw you people, I am real!

Liz: Yeah, I am living my red, spiky truth!

Anika: Yes! Red spiky truth! That's a hashtag!

Liz: We've found our episode name! And that's -- when I am feeling positive, which is not very often these days, and I realise that's as much about my own state of mind as everything else in the world--

Anika: No, it's the world, it's not just you.

Liz: No, but my brain is not helping. But I think this is going to be a Star Trek. And it's going to do some things really well, and other things really badly--

Anika: Terribly.

Liz: --and a lot of people are going to disagree on which is which.

Anika: So true! Good points!

Liz: Thank you! See? I'm an optimist! I just really, really want to see them trying more than they have.

Anika: Because this takes place in the Original Series time period, I really want the work. I want the work between First Contact and Original Series that I didn't get in Enterprise, for heaven's sake. And I haven't really gotten in Discovery, because it was sort of hijacked by--

Liz: Control?

Anika: --mirror universe, and yeah, exactly, AI, and all this other stuff. And Section 31, and whatever. All this other stuff. Which I'm into, I'm not saying that that stuff has no place. I'm totally into all of that stuff. But I want to see the work of how you get from "Past Tense" to Captain Kirk.

Liz: That would be great -- and, again, episodic structure means we can do that sort of broader worldbuilding. And it won't necessarily be deep worldbuilding, but it sets the foundations for future stories.

Anika: Right.

Liz: And I also really like the idea that Jeffrey Combs should play Dr Boyce. Not because he looks like the actor who played Dr Boyce. I just think, at this stage, he deserves a role in a Star Trek in the 21st century.

Anika: It would be fun for him to -- like, that's one of those fanservice kind of things that I would be into. I don't think Dr Boyce should be a main character--

Liz: No.

Anika: I think he should be a recurring character, and that it would be great. It would be Star Trek royalty coming to play this character that was created for the original Star Trek. That would be such a uniting kind of glue to put it all together, and I think that would be cool. That would be fun. So I'm all for that kind of stuff.

Liz: Yeah. And Suzie Plakson as L'Rell's mother, I still think is a stroke of genius on my part. Yeah, make it happen! Come on! CBS, just this once, listen to me, but prioritise the diverse writers room over Suzie Plakson.

Anika: Sorry, Suzie.

Liz: I'm not saying we can't have both! I'm just recognising priorities.

Anika: I just want to say, while we're on the people playing characters, I saw a tweet that said that John Boyega should be cast as young Worf? And--

Liz: [deep sigh]

Anika: [laughing] I just want to say, there's interesting ideas in that. I don't know if I really want a young Worf TV show, although on one hand, Worf being the first Klingon in Starfleet, dealing with that mess, would be interesting.

Liz: I agree. But also, he's so young when Next Generation starts that I don't know how much room there is--

Anika: Younger, right, how much younger he could be. It would have to be Academy, and I feel like John Boyega's too old to be Academy. Although Klingons -- I don't know Klingons, whatever. But I was just like, hmmmmm. But the point of this is, cast John Boyega in Star Trek, guys, that would be awesome. And don't even make him a Klingon!

Liz: No!

Anika: He'd make a great Klingon--

Liz: He would.

Anika: --but make him a heart-throb! Make him the -- you know how I said last week that we should not have the ladies man character? I stand by that. But--

Liz: [laughs]]

Anika: --if you're going to have a ladies man character, make it John Boyega.

Liz: He's so physically beautiful. Like, the way he is lit in the Star Wars movies is just extraordinary. And he is so talented, and he has revealed himself as being really thoughtful about social justice issues this week. I know he said some sexist stuff about Rey, but it's hardly the most egregious thing a man has ever said about a female character, so I don't understand the urge to cancel him over that. I like John Boyega, I think he's lovely, I think he should be in Star Trek.

I would like to see him playing a human, or at least a Vulcan, or something, so that we don't cover up his lovely face.

Anika: Right. We want to see his face. Focus on his beauty. You know how they decided to make both K'Ehleyr and B'Elanna half-human because they still had to be pretty, you know?

Liz: You're saying that John Boyega could play a half-Klingon?

Anika: Yeah, if he has to be Klingon, he could be half, is what I'm saying.

Liz: I'm kind of into that. Could he play Alexander?

Anika: [gasp]

Liz: I know Alexander has had, like, 50 actors so far, but what if he had a good one?

Anika: Oh my God. I would 100% watch The Alexander Show. Like, Alexander -- he wouldn't be in Starfleet.

Liz: No!

Anika: He wouldn't be a Klingon, either, he would be this awesome peacekeeping … going out, social justice warrior Klingon Alexander guy. It would be so good, and it should definitely be John Boyega, and I am 100% behind that idea, and I think we should make a petition.

Liz: I really hate what Deep Space 9 did with Worf and Alexander, so I really like the idea that he's--

Anika: Redeemed!

Liz: Yeah! I want him to be, like, the Fenris Rangers' lawyer, or something.

Anika: [gasp] You're just making this better and better!

Liz: [giggles]

Anika: Oh my gosh, if he was with the Fenris Rangers, but he was the Alicia Florrick, trying to keep them in line…

Liz: Yeah, yeah!

Anika: The idealistic lawyer!

Liz: He's more or less following in his mother's footsteps, except in law instead of diplomacy. And, you know, "Yes, your Honour, my client may have blown up a small asteroid, but in fairness, the asteroid was made of fascists." Or whatever. Alexander Rozhenko: Attorney At Law.

Anika: I love this idea!

Liz: [giggles]

Anika: You know how desperately I want a lawyer Star Trek show.

Liz: Right?

Anika: I want a lawyer Star Trek show so badly. It would be so good!

Liz: I think this idea at least deserves a Short Trek.

Anika: I would fund it. Not personally, but I am willing to find the people to get all the money in. I will kickstart this idea.

Liz: "Dear Mr Boyega, would you be interested in being in a self-funded Star Trek fan film?"

Anika: He'd be like, "What? Who are you people?"

Liz: "Come on, guys, I'm a real actor."

Anika: I'm just saying. You know. He was worried about his career, and I'm just saying, there's lots of options.

Liz: We will keep in work if we have to do it single handedly.

Anika: Ourselves.

Liz: Yeah.

Anika: That's right.

Both: [giggling]

Anika: Are we done?

Liz: Oh, we are done!

Anika: I feel like we've -- I don't even know what we talked about this episode at this point. But--

Liz: Systematic injustice and Jeffrey Combs.

Anika: TL:DR. All right, thank you for listening to Antimatter Pod.

You can find our show notes, which I assume are going to be long and detailed in this particular episode, at antimatterpod.tumblr.com, including links to our social media and credits for our theme music.

You can also follow us on Twitter at @antimatterpod. Sometimes we post pictures of my cute, adorable cat, and Liz's monster cat.

Liz: He has redeeming qualities.

Anika: And questions for our audience! To be fair, I have four cats, and I'm sure not all of them are cute and adorable.

Liz: I love every one of them.

Anika: If you like us, leave a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you consume your podcasts -- the more reviews, the easier it is for new listeners to find us, just like you did.

And join us in two weeks for our fiftieth episode! Which is a celebration because I cannot believe we've made it to 50 episodes. I'm very proud of us.

Liz: When we started out, I was like, if we get to ten, I'm going to call that respectable.

Anika: We're definitely respectable. We’re putting together a speed round of 50 topics in 50 minutes. This will be chaos. You should look forward to it. Let us know if you have a topic idea! Thank you for listening!

Liz: The question is, like, if they give us a topic like "Katrina Cornwell", can we keep it to 60 seconds?

Anika: We're gonna have to have a timer, or something. It's gonna be, oh, and we're done with that! It's gonna be great. Maybe we need a referee.

Liz: I'm sure my flatmate will be overwhelmed with joy if I invite her.

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