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bronzeflower · 6 years

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Who The Fuck Writes A Ten-Page Rant?????

Chapter 12: Two Future Visits???

Also on ao3

-- apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

AA: dave!!! AA: youll never guess what just happened!!!

TG: yo ara lay it on me TG: if you say ill never guess then i guess ill never guess but youve piqued my curiosity here and ive absolutely got to know what you want to tell me TG: although presumably youre going to tell me regardless of whether or not i actually guess

AA: you would be correct

TG: ara im dying TG: i need to know this sweet ass thing that just happened TG: i might die if i dont find out soon TG: there i go TG: on my deathbed TG: struggling for breath and doing my goddamn best to make words come out of my mouth TG: and you of all people know exactly how much i talk TG: holy shit that last moment at my death i can barely speak TG: but i manage it just enough to say my last words TG: put a whoopie cushion on dirks seat at my funeral TG: everyones in tears TG: the most perfect last words

AA: alright! ill tell you!!! AA: sollux proposed to me!!!

TG: holy shit!!! TG: thats fantastic!!!! TG: what do people do when someone proposes TG: do we celebrate TG: should we celebrate TG: that certainly seems like something worth celebrating TG: should we have a party TG: just TG: holy fuck TG: when did he propose how did he propose TG: lay all the deets on me

AA: so remember when i told you he had something he was working on that he couldnt show me because it was a surprise for me AA: it turns out that it was a video game AA: it was really cute and sweet and it was a game about finding fossils AA: it was at the very end when the fossils spelled out will you marry me AA: and thats how sollux proposed to me!

TG: thats absolutely adorable oh my god TG: i dont think i can handle this cuteness TG: satisfaction may have brought me back the the cuteness killed me again

AA: dave! AA: you cant die yet!

TG: well i wasnt planning on dying quite yet because i still have shit to do TG: and if i died i would start wandering the world as a ghost because i had unfinished business TG: youll have to burn my body TG: or put it in a museum TG: that would be kick ass TG: thats where i want my bones to be when i die TG: ill make a museum and then all the little kids will be able to see the creators bones scattered about in a glass case TG: it will even have my shades on my skull TG: and the kids will go TG: woah thats one sick ass skull what a cool dude

AA: the coolest AA: but i wanted to tell you that im coming into town for the wedding! AA: im going to take some time off of work so that i can have a proper wedding with all my friends and stuff

TG: !!!! TG: holy shit!!!!! TG: what are we going to die i have no idea TG: i just i havent seen you in person in so fucking long TG: oh my god TG: aradia im so excited holy shit!!!!

AA: im also very excited!!! AA: however the wedding is going to take a while to plan and i will still be working during that time so im not coming for a few months AA: i just wanted to tell you that i will be there eventually

TG: i honestly cant wait

AA: i cant wait either AA: i do have to go now AA: afterall my work is never done AA: i will troll you when i have some free time <>

TG: sounds great <>

-- apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

You wonder who you gush to first about the news.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

TG: rose rose rose rose rose rose rose TG: guess what

TT: Did you perhaps learn how to use punctuation?

TG: no and your girlfriend didnt either

TT: That’s cold, Dave. That’s really cold. TT: But, please, do tell this secret that you have been withholding from me for so long.

TG: aras gettin married to sollux!!!! TG: isnt that fucking some fucking fantastic shit TG: like holy shit my moirail is getting married

TT: Your moirail?

TG: its a recent development TG: anyway shes getting married and shes coming to town in a few months and rose TG: rose TG: im so fucking excited rose like holy shit TG: i havent seen ara in ages and now shes getting married TG: im just so fucking happy for her

TT: I’m happy for her as well. TT: Please, tell her congratulations for me. TT: Who’s she getting married to?

TG: shes getting married to her boyfriend of like five years i think TG: i know theyve been dating for a while but i dont really know exactly how long who knows TG: but his name is sollux and i dont really know much about him outside what aras told me but he seems like a pretty cool dude TG: and i trust her judgement anyways

TT: Be sure to give her my congratulations.

TG: ill be sure to do that TG: now if youll excuse me im gonna tell literally everyone about this

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

TG: jade youll never guess

GG: im going to take a wild guess and say that someones getting married!

TG: holy shit i guess you did guess TG: never mind then

GG: no! GG: dont go! GG: i dont know the details yet!

TG: well if you insist TG: shes getting married to sollux who ive never actually met but he seems like a pretty cool dude from what ive heard from him TG: and shes coming to town in the next few months after planning the wedding and finishing up the job she has right now TG: and so well get to see her!!!! TG: jade ill get to see aradia!!! TG: holy shit you might actually become friends!!!

GG: !!!! GG: i cant wait!!!!!!

TG: anyway ive got to relay the news to john now TG: hes the last to know

GG: i wont spoil the surprise for him GG: but if you wait to too long rose might!

TG: oh shit youre absolutely right TG: i gots to go TG: be sure to tell me about those cars youre working on later k cause they seem cool as shit

GG: will do!

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

TG: john TG: john TG: john TG: hey there johnny boy

EB: i’ll listen to whatever you have to say, dave, but you have to promise to never call me “johnny boy” ever again.

TG: alright alright i promise TG: but i also promise that what im going to tell you is going to blow your fucking mind

EB: try me.

TG: aras getting married!!!

EB: what! EB: holy shit, dude! EB: god, i haven’t even talked to her in such a long time. EB: and now i’m hearing that she’s getting married? EB: just, wow.

TG: yeah i know right TG: shits groovy

EB: did you really just use the word “groovy” in a completely unironic context, dave?

TG: yes TG: ive moved passed liking things ironically egbert TG: you got to enjoy things as they come and let no one shame you for liking them

EB: that’s some solid advice, my dude

TG: anytime

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

Welp, you’ve messaged your main best friends about the wedding, and you’ve mostly got the excitement out of your system, at least until Aradia gives you more details about the planning of her wedding, and you're also going to assume that Aradia is going to message her other friends about the wedding.

Might as well do some work, and, by that, you mean it’s time to review some stuff that you may or may not have been procrastinating reviewing. But it’s time to take action! Make yourself a better person and stuff like that. One destruction of the thing you’re supposed to be doing at a time.

“Now, everyone wants to know how well these nail polishes work, and I am clearly the person to go to if you want to know about nail polishes because I paint my nails all the time, which you would see if you’ve watched my other videos.”

You make a mental note to put photos of your clearly not painted nails over the screen during the editing process.

You first start out doing what you always do in your videos, which is describe the object you’re reviewing in great detail.

“Okay, so this nail polish is kind of liquidy, like all nail polishes I’ve seen are, and this one that I’m holding is a blue one. Like, a blue that’s one of the prettiest blues you’ve ever seen, like the feeling when it’s slightly rainy outside, and you’ve got all your work done, so you’re just sitting there, listening to the soft rain, holding your favorite warm beverage and a feeling of calm washes over you, and everything is okay. You know. Like that.”

You turn the nail polish bottle around to see what else you could describe.

“There also seems to be bits of glitter hanging around in there. They look silvery like the sound of rain. Or the sound of a coin clanking against the ground. Mmmm, no, that would be a gold color, so let’s stick with the sound of rain.”

You then describe the bottle the nail polish is in, including what the font looks like and the color of the lid (white).

“I do have these other colors that came in the set, so I have a total of five. One for each finger. All of them have the same silver glitter as the blue one so that you know that they are from the same set or brand or whatever.

“The other colors are green, red, pink, and orange. Honestly, they could have gone for the complete rainbow, but they didn’t because they’re cowards. Where’s my yellow? My purple? With the colors they gave me, I can’t do the full gay rainbow. How are people supposed to know how bi I am without purple?

“Anyway, let’s get to describing each of these colors. This green- like a grassy meadow. It’s the smell of flowers, but then you sneeze because you’re allergic to pollen.” You pick up the green polish and hold it up so the viewers could see it. Then you put down the green polish to pick up the red one.

“The red is firey, and it’s probably my favorite out of these colors. It looks like someone shouting encouraging words at you but in an aggressive way, so you’re not really sure if they’re insulting you or not. Spoilers, they’re insulting you while telling you how much they love you because they can’t let anybody know they’re emotionally vulnerable.”

You then pick up the pink nail polish.

“And the pink- prettiest fucking pink you’ll ever see. Like a song that makes your heart thump and burn from thinking about the one you love, you know? Kind of also makes me think of cookies. Like, sugar cookies, especially the ones shaped like hearts. It’s a very lovey-dovey sort of color.”

And then, at long last, you pick up the orange polish and gazed at it.

“And, finally, we have this orange polish. Now, it looks exactly like an orange smells like. Or like salty orange juice. Why would you put salt in your orange juice? A prank? That’s the only conceivable reason I can think of, but I’m not here to judge people for their eating or drinking habits. But, now that we’ve looked carefully at all these polishes, it’s time to actually get to the painting part.”

You open the orange polish because you were already holding it, and you examine the consistency of the nail polish.

“Yep, that’s nail polish alright. Let’s put that shit on our nails and see what happens.”

You proceed to messily paint your nails. There’s nail polish everywhere. You somehow get nail polish on your face. You have no idea what happened. You look later- there’s nail polish on your foot. You don’t know how it got there.

You do, in fact, manage to paint all your nails, however messy the end result ended up being, so you are proud of yourself for managing to do that much.

After recording the video and making sure you actually recorded all that, you uploaded the footage and decided to edit it later.

After an hour or so of scrolling through mindless memes, you get a message on pesterchum.

-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

TG: guess who the FUCK is comign to town next week TG: *coming TG: that’s right TG: me TG: ur fav sis

TG: oh shit this is fantastic TG: dont tell rose that youre my favorite sister though TG: i would never hear the end of it

TG: ur secret is safe with me TG: *wonk* TG: anyway TG: i was just here to tell you that. TG: dont be a stranger

-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

Holy fucking shit. You can’t believe you got news of some of your favorite people coming to visit in the same day. Granted, they weren’t arriving in the same time period, but still.

You can’t believe Roxy is coming next week!! You are so ready to spend time with Roxy. It’s going to be a blast.

#davekat #dave strider #aradave #arasol #aradia megido #john egbert #rose lalonde #jade harley #roxy lalonde #homestuck #hs #pesterlogs

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tamisutcliffe-id · 6 years

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Mom,

It has been very busy at my work lately, which is both good and bad. Helps the days go by quickly but also keeps me going for quite a few hours at a time. We have started using live video cameras for meetings now, so I have to make sure my hair is combed and the little cat is not eating bugs on the couch when I sign into calls. (Although everyone loves the little cat, she is kind of a distraction and will sometimes walk right up to the camera and yawn.)

I just loved that picture of you and the story about the lovely cruise makes it even better- a wonderful memory!

Sometimes I open up the family photo files that Dad sent me and just scroll through some of the old ones. I am so grateful to have had a Dad who enjoyed capturing what he saw. So many of his shots are pure art, and I love seeing all of us at all of those other times in our lives.

Our cruise is September 17th to the 23rd. We'll be sailing on a Carnival ship we havent been on before (the Valour) out of Galveston, going to Cozumel and Progresso. This is kind of like you going to Lost River camping: you have been to this same place many, many times, it is not the most gorgeous of all the places you go but you like it, and you miss not going there, if you havent been in a while. So I am looking forward to being on the blue Caribbean sea again, even if the damn bag will be going with me. Some of my very favorite pictures of David have been taken in Cozumel:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/93728166@N05/sets/72157632909525291

I go have the first test (of the required two) on August 29. I am scared about it, for no reason other than I just feel scared about it. They normally dont put you under to do this test, but the surgeon said given the extensive amount of damage done six months ago, he would be more comfortable doing the first exploration in there with me snoring rather than staring him in the face. I'll only be asleep for a half hour or so (with IV sedation, like they do for a normal colonoscopy) - and the test itself only takes about 20 minutes, and then I go home and should have no particular side effects at all. If this test goes well (and they find I am flexible inside where I should be flexible), I will need one more test (poetically known as a "leak test" -- ?!?! Oh, no!). If that one comes out well, we schedule the reversal. We will be home from the cruise the last week of September, so we are very tentatively thinking, if everything goes smoothly, I will have the reversal done in early October. If for any reason either of the tests does not show what we hope for, then we just wait some more. Eventually, I WILL be flexible enough, according to everyone I have talked to. But no one ever knows just when that will be. So - 49 more days of the bag and then we shall see what we shall see.

My friend Kathy, who has been through quite a lot herself, sent me this picture recently, and I try to keep this in mind:

This is us a few summers ago: (Kathy runs barrels but Pam and I do not!!)

Keep sending the emails. I love it when I see your name in the "From" box! Do you have a camera? Have Jason email me pictures of you guys, if you think of it. I would love to see the yard and Loki and all the stuff going on in Idaho.

The Barbara Kingsolver quote was perfect.

Here is my poem of the week:

“So I am not a broken heart.

I am not the weight I lost or the miles I walked.

I am not this year and I am not anybodys fault.

I am muscles building cells, a little every day, because they broke that day,

but bones are stronger once they heal and I am smiling to the other drivers in the traffic jamand replacing my groceries once a weekand I am not sitting for hours in the shower anymore.

I am the way a life unfolds and blooms and seasons come and goand I am the way the spring always finds a way to turn even the coldest winter into a field of green and flowers and new life.”

― Charlotte Eriksson

Love,Tami

On Sun, Jul 8, 2018 at 10:28 PM, Rita Tolman <

[email protected]

> wrote:

Tami Hope you enjoyed your fourth of July week. Having the fourth in the middle of the week made it seem like a long holiday. Brandi came by and spent a couple of hours today. Mont and Cyn returning from Tamarack tomorrow. Brandi will spend her month home working at Monts clinic. She is having a hard time deciding where she wants to go when she finishes this next year. At age 28 she is worried she will never find the one and be able to start a family. No one in the family can relate as everyone seems to have found the one except Jason which makes me feel sad sometimes if I let myself think about it. Sure hard to (live one day at a time) sometimes isn’t it. Couple of comments on your last two emails. Did you know the quote from Bill Wilson is the man who started Alcoholics Anon. clear back in the thirties? Reading about his life you find that he was convinced he had some kind of a spiritual experience that caused him to get together with another drunk and have the first meeting of AA. One drunk helping another to stay sober. Pretty amazing. The picture of me by the palm tree in one of my favorite dresses of all time from Annie Z was taken by Dad in Miami just before we took our first cruise to the Bahamas. One of the families Anon. members owned a travel agency in Miami and she was able to put together a cruise for a FA convention. Dad and I had the honor of coming the farthest to attend. Flying clear across the country from Seattle. Jason was doing so well then and we had a great time and met some of the nicest people in the world. We kept in touch with one couple from Michigan for several years and met up with them a couple of more times at FA conventions. Their son finally got sober in his thirties, had a family and died in a car crash. Go figure! When did you say your cruise was going to be in Sept? Will you see the Doctor again before then? Summer is slipping away so quickly. I’m hoping to drive to Pocatello in the next couple of weeks to try to plan an August camping trip. Would love to go back to the Tetons but it is not Butch and Danas first choice. They still love the lost river country but I will be happy to just get to somewhere more primitive than Tamarack. Will have to do some home cooking if I can remember how as Butch looks forward to some grandma Spahr cooking. I have been guilty of buying frozen microwave meals from costco all summer. Have you got a membership yet. Still hoping David will check out the hearing aid dept. They also offer a big selection of wines at good prices. Mont and I love their cocktail tray of Jumbo cocktail shrimp with fresh lemon and cocktail sauce. Makes my mouth water just writing about them. Fairly healthy ad not too many calories if you don’t eat the whole thing at once. Will close with a quote from one of my favorite Authors Barbara Kingsolver on loss. “You don’t think you’ll live past it and you don’t really. The person you were is gone,but the half of you that’s still alive wakes up one day and takes over again.” Have a good week and take care. Love Mom

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