#also why did i not remember we can hear olli SINGING on that video?!?!? (at 1:08) 😭😭😭😭😭😭 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gabenvrhappened · 2 months

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MusicOr... Sooner or Later and Reflection by Years & Years

Favorite Lyrics (Sooner or Later): You're a heartbreaker, you'll be the death of me ⬩ Sooner or later, sooner or later ⬩ Love chaser, you're chasing it out of me ⬩ But I'm gonna break you, sooner or later you'll be mine;

Favorite Lyrics (Reflection): Walking to your house and I don't know why ⬩ Or if I'm gonna make it out alive ⬩ You put a spell on me ⬩⬩ I had too much too soon, spilled my ego on the floor ⬩ Then I picked it up and found myself at your door ⬩ You put a spell on me ⬩⬩ Now we can both pretend ⬩ That something's not happening ⬩ We could fall in love but we both know that's not happening ⬩ You're dancing by yourself inside your innocence ⬩ I could be your love but we both know that's not happening;

Other Favorite Songs: Consequences, Starstruck, Crave;

Every time I feel like coming back to feel like my old self, I get out of the house to walk a big avenue, no matter the country I'm in. That's what I did when I first came across Sooner or Later. Things in London are so crazy during the winter. When everything is good, it's so good. When it's not… So, this was one of those days I needed to remind myself of some things. So, I grabbed a ticket to watch The Holdovers at a movie theater on Regent Street and then walked around the surroundings when the session was over.

Nothing will cease to impress me of how incredible it is that everything that's buzzing in London is all connected, so soon enough, I was in Soho trying to get into a McDonald's because I just had too much to drink. For some reason, I didn't have my earphones on — which can be very uncharacteristic of me, but I think it was because I wanted to be open to something — and then I heard this song. Guess it worked.

It's been years and years (pun intended) since I connected with a Years & Years song. I still remember so clearly seeing the music video for King and falling in love with the band, back when I was in my first relationship. Years have passed, and I got myself hooked on a few songs, but never enough to make myself come back to check out new material. Everything changed when I heard this song and Shazamed it and saw the lyrics. I'm not gonna lie, I feel like an impostor by now singing these lyrics at the top of my lungs. Truth is, I don't feel like finding anything, and that thought is actually so scary (and just as much uncharacteristic of me) but it's just my truth right now. Honestly, I don't know if I'll ever find something, let alone if I'll ever search for it. I probably will, but now it just feels fake, as if it's just muscle memory, not desire.

That's just life, I guess. You kind of learn some lessons after hitting dead ends all the time. But still, it felt so good walking more and more until I got to Westminster with this song blasting in my earphones — which I decided to put back on because I just had to. I went home addicted to it, and drunk, and kind of ended my night on a low, but that's life as well. From that moment on, I felt like giving the Night Call album a chance, and, just like The Good Witch, it became my new go-to gym album. To be real, I feel like I'm becoming an album person because I also had Troye's Something to Give Each Other on replay from back to back.

Many songs stood out to me, and the whole album just goes so smoothly. Songs like Consequences and Crave are so incredible, and I'm ashamed of letting Starstruck pass me by because I remember when it was first released. But from all the songs, my new favorite one was Reflection. I adored the sexy reckless vibe it evokes, that I can escape but feel like I'm walking towards danger whenever I hear it. What's incredible is the connection this song has with Make It Out Alive. I love how the two of them are connected. I can close my eyes and see the guy Olly is singing about dancing by himself in a dark room only lit by a lamp, while he's sitting on the floor, high, watching his reflection on the wall.

When I came home from that night, drunk, all I wanted was to be at someone else's door feeling like I shouldn't. I tried, but failed. So like he sings in Intimacy, "I'm not one for casual intimacy, maybe one day something will change in me" but as of now, I'm trying to remind myself who I am and, whenever I feel like coming back to my old self, I'll take a night walk out and hope to fall in love. With another song I never knew I was missing.

#MusicOrGabeNeverHappened

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ollyarchive · 5 years

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My son the global pop star? Olly Alexander's mum Vicki Thornton talks about growing up gay in Gloucestershire, Gogglebox and Glastonbury

Olly Alexander's mum speaks candidly about being mother of the flamboyant Years and Years frontman

Watching Vicki Thornton on the Celebrity Gogglebox sofa it would be easy to imagine that having a famous child is an easy passport to the good life.

Every Friday night for weeks the Forest of Dean mum-of-two has been on TV sipping Prosecco while commenting on TV programmes with son Olly Alexander, the flamboyant frontman with the chart-topping band Years & Years.

On the face of it it’s been a charmed motherhood. First she watched the talented young man leave college to succeed as an actor, treading the boards as Peter Pan in a play with Judi Dench and appearing in movies such as Gulliver’s Travels, The Riot Club and Great Expectations.

Within a few years he appeared to seamlessly achieve global musical success with a chart-topping band and which led to a much applauded appearance on the Pyramid stage at Glastonbury Festival 2019. This weekend he is appearing on the same stage as Ariana Grande at Manchester Pride.

Yet anybody who follows Olly knows it’s not all been red carpet premieres, backstage passes and Gogglebox for Vicky, it’s also been about hearing uncomfortable truths about a son who has used his growing success as a platform to publicly campaign for LGBT rights.

Growing Up Gay

Not only has she had to listen to how he secretly self-harmed and developed bulimia as a closet gay teenager growing up in the Forest of Dean, but in 2017 she also bravely agreed to appear in an an emotional BBC Three documentary about how it can lead to mental health issues.

In Growing Up Gay Olly admitted that just driving home back to sleepy Coleford with the film crew stirred up such painful memories that it made him feel physically sick.

If that wasn’t difficult enough to hear, Vicki learned that Olly, who attended St John’s Cof E Primary School in Coleford and Monmouth Comprehensive, had been unable to tell anyone that he was being bullied from a young age because he had long hair and seemed gay.

“When he asked if I would do the documentary, it was a bit of a decision to make because I knew it would mean digging up the past and going further into the reasons for the problem,” said community artist Vicki.

“ I knew that having to face up to issues I was not aware of at the time was going to be a very difficult process, but if it was going to help Olly and other people in similar situations I had to do it.

“I had to be open and honest about everything which meant confronting my own feelings of guilt. You have to openly accept that you may have made some bad choices and decisions but you are human. It’s not about making excuses, it’s about learning from your mistakes.”

The documentary was so painful that the producers had Vicki assessed psychologically to make sure she could deal with the deeply personal issues it raised and arranged for her to have counselling beforehand.

Still a much watched video on iPlayer, it shows them sifting through photographs and videos of what his mum thought was a happy, innocent childhood on a beautiful part of the world.

“Going through the family history you see all these little happy, innocent little faces” said Vicky who also has an older son who has aspergers syndrome. “It’s terrible to think somebody could be hurting them.

“I think the bullying was mostly mental but when someone is full of joy and happiness and somebody else comes along and closes that down, it is the saddest thing.

“As parents you think you know what’s going on, you think that they are safe, they are happy, they are fed, all the boxes are ticked. But you don’t know the half of it.

“The little things I heard about what happened to Olly that he and his brother have talked about, are awful.”

Everyone thinks their child is amazing but I knew Olly was special

Community artist Vicki said she knew “in her bones” even before Olly, 29, was born that he would go on do great things.

“Every mother thinks that, and every child is amazing, but I knew that this child was different, there was something there,” she said.

“Olly was always a bright, funny, happy child, full of life. He was such a bouncy, lovely little cherub that I could never get cross with him, ever.

“On the rare occasion that he would throw a tantrum I would find it funny and just laugh at him. He would just stand and scream blue murder and it was just hilarious.”

Life in the Forest of Dean

Their early days were spent living near theme parks that his father promoted but in 1997 the family moved to the Forest of Dean where his parents set about creating a model village tourist attraction.

It was a musical, creative, left leaning household and although he loves Rihanna, and famously met the singer on the Graham Norton show, Olly, credits much of his influences to listening to his mother’s tapes of Nina Simone, Joni Mitchell and Stevie Wonder. She was one of the founders of the local music festival where Olly cut his teeth.

“I used to be a puppeteer actor in an education travelling theatre company in the late 1980s," said Vicky when asked about her bohemian background.

“When I was younger I was also a backing singer in a band called Innamanna. We played the Marquee in London and did some recording but when we had to decide ‘do we stick with this or carry on with our careers?’ it folded.

"But I couldn’t stand on a stage in front of thousands of people like Olly does. I would die.”

Olly as a boy

It was clear that Olly had inherited her artistic streak and although a talented gymnast and able academic, he concentrated on music and drama, later saying it was because he felt at home with the weird kids.

Vicki remembers him being very driven, open minded and very focussed.

“Olly taught himself to play the piano and to sing and there was always a healthy competition with his best friend Joe to get the best parts in the school plays,” recalled Vicki

“He was always singing all over the house. He loved Disney and he would get old song books full of the classics and teach himself on the piano.

“He did not want to be in musicals but loved the singing and performance side of it.”

I did not realise there was so much pain going on inside.

In the documentary the talented singer songwriter says that he did not have the vocabulary to put how he was feeling into words and felt too ashamed to admit it anybody he was gay. Even his mother. He desperately wanted to be straight so he never admitted it.

“On the surface he was a real high achiever so I had no idea there was so much starting to bubble up as a young teenager,” said Vicki.

“I thought the sky was the limit for him. I thought he could do anything he could put his mind to but I did not realise there was so much pain going on inside.”

“Because he was always fun happy, smiley, lovely child achieving lots of things at school, I thought things were fine.

“Probably my eye was off the ball because I was going through a lot of life changes at the time and maybe I was in denial that there was something going wrong.”

Marriage split

In an interview last year with the former Labour spin doctor Alastair Campbell, Olly says his diaries show a clear link between his father leaving and creating a “family implosion” and his mental health health issues developing around he age of 13.

They are estranged but met up when his father contacted Olly through Twitter and in subsequent interviews it’s clear the singer was less than impressed with the reality as opposed to the imagined version of an aspiring musician father who he had always wanted to impress.

“Splitting up with their dad made life a lot harder, definitely financially, and so life was a big struggle,” said Vicki.

“That’s probably part of the reason why I had my eye off the ball. I was distracted doing other things, so we were a bit dysfunctional or a while, which I feel guilty about.

“But I don’t feel guilty about that relationship ending at all, both for the boys and myself.”

Coming out

She says although from the outside it looked like Olly was enjoying a glittering lifestyle after leaving sixth form college to travel abroad filming the movie Summerhill, he was often penniless and had to take jobs such as selling hot dogs on the South Bank in between the contracts. She wasn’t in a position to help pay the rent either.

He was 18 or 19 and involved in the gay party scene in London when he plucked up the courage to pick up the phone and tell her outright that he was gay.

Vicki said: “He had said to me once ‘I don’t think you are going to have any grandchildren’. Not taking the hint, I said ‘well never say never’.

“He obviously got to the point where he thought ‘I’d better actually say it to mum because she doesn’t get it’.

“He phoned me up and said ‘you do know I am gay don’t you?’ . I said ‘Are you? OK’ and that was it really. I suppose I had a feeling he might be but maybe I didn’t want to confirm that because of fear about what his life might become because of all the homophobia out there.”

Vicky told told her elderly mother, who sang on Broadway with the D’ Oyly opera company before cutting her career short to get married and have a family.

“Her immediate reaction was ‘but he will not be able to go to Africa, it’s illegal in Africa’, laughed Vicky about her 89-year-old mother who follows her grandson avidly on social media and has even seen Years & Years in concert.

“Like me, she doesn’t want to see him marginalised because marginalised sections of society can attract a lot of negative behaviour. Nobody wants to see their nearest and dearest suffer from that.”

I just hope kids today aren’t going through the same thing

From that moment on Vicky has worried about her son being the victim of homophobia and although she is intensely proud, she still fears that being a figurehead for equality could make him a target.

“I wish he felt he could have talked to me and maybe I could have prevented all of that, but I understand that is very difficult for young people,” she said.

“I remember that feeling of not being able to talk to my parents and I just hope kids today aren’t going through the same thing. They get more support at school than they did 15 years ago but bullying and social media trolling still happens.

“I do worry about him being exposed to bigotry and homophobia. it’s not nice to think about your child living in fear.”

In an interview last year Olly was asked if he ever wanted to confront the bullies who made his life miserable growing up but he said he doesn’t think about it much any more because his life had changed so much.

He said he still takes anti-depressants, has weekly therapy sessions and works out a lot to keep his mental and physical health on track.

While campaigning for more to be done to prevent male suicide after being named as GQ Man of the Year, he admitted he still has occasional days when he doesn’t want to get out of bed because his life does not feel worth living and can be too frightened to go on stage, or cries when he comes off. He hides behind outlandish costumes and make up.

The fun side of having a famous son

It's clear that there is a close bond between mother and son and Olly likes her to share in his successes.

For instance in the early days the pop star arranged for her to wear an expensive diamond necklace to the red carpet premiere of Great Expectations in which he played Herbert Pocket.

“It was insane,” said Vicki. “ We had taxi from where he lived to the red carpet and there was all these people at the barriers.

“I thought they are going to be so disappointed when I get out because I’m no-one. Somebody took me to one side while Olly went off to meet the paparazzi and because it was raining they put a brolly over my head.

“Then we went in and watched the film which was mind-blowing because I was sat next to some of the actor’s. When it was finished we went to the after-party which was all very very glam.”

Naturally shy, Vicky was overawed to meet the likes of Jeremy Irvine, who starred in War Horse.

“I was quite overwhelmed by it all at first but I have got more relaxed about being in that kind of environment,” she said.

“The whole thing is a bit surreal really. It’s a bit like a film in itself. Once I was this close to Helen Bonham Carter who I think is fantastic, but you don’t want to go up to people saying ‘I love you’.

“Olly told me once, that when they started filming he actually said to her ‘I love you Helen Bonham Carter’ and and she said ‘I would love you too if I knew who you were’, but she later came to the stage door to congratulate him after Alice and Peter.”

More recently Vicky was overwhelmed when she was introduced the men from one of her favourite TV programmes, the Netflix series Queer Eye, at Radio One’s Big Weekend in Swansea.

“I love watching them but when Olly introduced me I didn’t know what to say and was stuck for words because I get so tongue tied,” she admitted.

Gogglebox

The star is protective of Vickyi who does not even like speaking on the stage at Coleford Music Festival but told her it was time for her to come out of her shell for Gogglebox.

“It’s different because there isn’t anybody else in the room and it’s all about Olly because that’s who they are interested in,” she said of the TV show.

“It feels really nice sitting there together eating snacks, drinking Prosecco and enjoying each other’s company, but I don’t think I have anything really interesting to say.

“You are thinking ‘should I be on my best behaviour because I’m on tele or should I be like I am at home?’. There is a little conflict going on in your head but it’s really good fun.

“It’s weird watching yourself back, seeing what you do, what you sound like and the faces you pull. I didn’t realise I pulled so many weird faces.”

Every week she has to decide on a comfortable top for sitting on the sofa and says they did initially consider getting matching onesies and really mad slippers but decided against it.

She shares TV tastes with her son who loves programmes such as Killing Eve and Stranger Things and Fleabag. They also love Gogglebox, especially Rylan Clark Neal and his mother and Chris Eubank and his son. She was delighted when Rylan sent a lovely message to Olly about her.

“If Olly likes something I will give it a go because I know I will probably like it,” she says. “I would never have watched Love Island if Olly hadn’t watched it. “

Staying true to yourself

Before the Years and Years single Communion catapulted the band into into the charts, Vicky had another important phone call from the Shine singer.

“He said they didn’t want him to say he was gay and he was really cross about it because didn’t want to pretend to be something he wasn’t” she said.

“I told him to stick to his guns, that you have to be true to yourself for anything to be real. I have taught them that if they are kind, truthful and respectful to other people, everything else will follow.”

Olly took her advice and when she first went to Glastonbury to see him burst onto the John Peel stage in 2015 wearing a rainbow, Pride suit he was involved in a very public relationship with Neil Milan from Clean Bandit who were playing the Pyramid stage.

Although in pop star mode he is happy to speak openly about his own sexuality and ongoing struggles with anxiety, Olly also admits that the fairytale of fame and fortune has not proved the antidote to depression and he remains a leading advocate for mental health issues.

In fact Gay Times described him as one of the most influential gay pop stars of this generation and added: "All hail the King!”

Glastonbury 2019

Vicky was astounded by how big it has become since the days she used to go and got lost for hours on the first night after deciding to camp for the weekend.

On Sunday Olly arranged for Vicky, her partner Kev and Coleford Mayor Nick Penny to go backstage and then watch from the Pyramid Stage balcony as he gave a widely-applauded, eloquent moving speech marking the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots.

Many say the speech appealing for compassion and a society that does not leave anybody behind was the highlight of the festival.

“It’s not the best view because you cannot see what’s happening from the front, but just to be there looking out from the stage and seeing all those thousands and thousands of people who are all there to see Years and Years and Olly, well it was just mesmerising,” she said.

“That whole feeling of emotion, the pride, It’s like when you see your child in a nativity play but a million times over.

“I knew he was going to make a speech and I knew that knowing Olly it was going to be special, but I did not did not know the content or when he was going to say it.

“I was just so proud and when I got home I had to watch it over and over again.”

“I cannot believe how brave and strong Olly is about what he believes in. I admire that in him so much and have so much respect for him to be able to do that.”

The feeling is mutual and Olly has repeatedly spoken about how proud he was of his mum to speak so openly about his childhood in the documentary even though she is not to blame for his troubles.

Olly takes care of his family

Although he spends long periods touring with the band, when he is in London Olly has a small set of friends from home who he has known since primary school which Vickis believes it is good for his sanity.

He recently spoke about how good it has been going from being too skint to go out to be able to help his family out financially and pay for the drinks on a night out.

Thanks to Olly buying her a new house Vicky has moved from the small cottage in the centre of Coleford where she would get the odd knock on the door from Years and Years fans pretending to be looking for a non existent neighbour.

Speaking to her it’s clear that have a famous child is not too much different than having any other. You always feel guilty, you are very proud of their achievements, you want them to happy, you worry about them being safe and you lose your name. At one festival she spotted a flag saying “Olly’s Mum”, something parents all over the world can identify with.

“As a parent I think you always feel guilty, but I’m proud that Olly has grown into this amazing human being,” says Vicki who has been on a journey alongside her famous son.

“It’s such an amazing thing to have happened that to try and get your head around it all is impossible, so you don’t bother.

“Lots of people ask about him and say things like – ‘your boy’s doing well’ and I think ‘just a bit’. On the whole though, life just carries on as normal.”

#ollyalexander #years & years #yearsandyears #2019 #palo santo #photo #vicki #olly'smum #olly's mum #mum #articles #interviews

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cruzrogue · 5 years

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F’M Smoak Part II

#Fictober19 @fictober-event

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for fanfiction:

Prompt number: Prompt 31 “Scared, me?”

Fandom (AU if applicable): #arrow fanfiction #olicity

Rating:PG13

Warnings/Tags: Fluff (friendship)

Thomas Merlyn/ Felicity Smoak/Oliver Queen

Summary: Continuation from F’M Smoak Prompt number: 5 “I might just kiss you.”

Notes: Halloween Bash and Felicity takes the stage. F’M Smoak is has an appearance at Verdant for a one time performance.

~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~sp@ce~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~

I want to thank @fictober-event this was a blast! Thank you!

~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~sp@ce~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~

F’M Smoak Part II on A03

Verdant has been gearing up for the Halloween Bash. Tommy loves this holiday. He revels in being someone different and watching people be more enticed to party with as the added bounce to their normal festivities. Having a club, he can decorate as he sees fit keeping of course within a budget. He needs the club to turn a profit. Choosing the orange and black theme. Plenty of pumpkins and black cats, spiders, crows with the usual skulls, witch’s hats, and a few more Halloween décor choices.

He is excited that Felicity is helping him with a few designs. Using this to cover why they are spending loads of time together lately. He excitedly got her aboard to be one of the main event singers. She even deciding to write an extra song or two. That means he hired a local garage band to work with her. It has been so cool to see her walk in and meet the band members. Her squeaky-clean image throwing the grunge band for a loop.

“Tommy?”

Tommy moving some crates around. “Yea?”

“Why is Felicity’s name on some of these foam things?”

Tommy looks at the designs that will be used for the bash and he just shrugs, he promised Felicity that Oliver wouldn’t find out about this. The man is set to go on a trip with his mom and sister to visit a family member and won’t be here for this particular event. It’s the reason Felicity signed on to do her comeback for one night.

“What makes you think those have anything to do with Felicity?”

“Tommy? It’s her name. I may be dense at times but I know Felicity’s initials.”

“Of course, you do, you probably know all sorts of little facts about her.” Oliver gives him a dead stare. “What? You probably do and I’m not taking back that comment.”

“Well?”

“Felicity’s been helping me with designs maybe she took a break and did her name…” He won’t say she hasn’t helped him. She’s been busy practicing with her band. He admits she’s even better than he remembers.

Oliver goes to where the large cutouts that say ‘F’M Smoak’ are and counts a few. “There is about half a dozen here.”

Tommy just waves his hand, “Maybe it’s a prank I’ve set up and don’t need your disapproving overprotective tendencies when it comes to her.” He can see Oliver’s demeanor change as the man is super protective. “You’ll be away anyhow and…”

“No, I won’t.”

“No. You won’t, what?”

“My aunt is coming here to Starling so change of plans.”

“Oh. Does Felicity know?”

“No. Why should she? What are you planning Merlyn?”

“Whoa, you only call me by my last name when your peeved with me. Are you jealous?” Oh, yea the boy is jealous he can practically see the fume come from the man’s nostrils.

“No. You still haven’t answered the question.”

“There is nothing to tell.” Tommy goes back to moving crates. “If you are going to stand there like a stalk you can help me out here.”

“There is something going on.” Oliver does move to help move some crates. “Since you and Laurel are off the table…”

“I’m not seeing Felicity. You don’t have to worry.”

“I’m…”

Tommy puts his hand up as he makes a growly sound. “I wouldn’t go behind your back and you can shove this denial shtick with me.”

“Tommy, I’m sorry. It’s just everyone expects… you know what forget it. Let’s just get these crates moved.”

“Okay, I get it now. At first, I didn’t. I admit I acted like I did but I really didn’t. For that I am also sorry.” Oliver with one of the last crates that need moving looks at Tommy confused. “The laurel bit, the trying to act like 5-years never happened, a few little things. Like acting like everything is okay when it’s not.”

“What do you mean?”

“Let’s start by me telling you. Felicity is a great catch. You know. I know it. Someday the man who is lucky to have her will know it.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you should hear it out loud, maybe even hear this over and over that she is thee catch. I also think you should not start anything with her until you figure your shit out.”

“Then why tell me this?”

“Oliver! It an incentive.” Tommy shakes his head. “We aren’t those dickheads of our youth anymore. I know I want more. And you know damn well you do to.”

“It’s complicated.”

“When is it not? Life is full of crappy situations but it also has these moments. Ollie don’t be so afraid to live.”

“It’s more not wanting to see her hurt.”

“You know that is a copout, right?”

“Tommy?”

“Hey, I didn’t know I was going to lose my best friend five-years ago. Not once during my grief did, I wish our history stopped existing.”

“What’s your point?”

“That no one is guaranteed a tomorrow. If there is a chance that you can make her happy than it’s worth the gamble.” He can see Oliver just begin to think things over. “Just figure your shit out first!”

“I wish it was that easy.”

“Yea well join the club. If things were that easy, we’d all be happily in love.”

Oliver takes a breath but he asks one more time because the thought came back, “Are you going to tell me the truth about those foam pieces?”

“Nope.” Tommy moves around the bar. “If I were you, I would stop by Verdant tonight.”

Oliver looks around the club. It actually looks really good and that cauldron front center to the stage he wonders how that’s going to look when everything is in motion. “You need any help setting up?”

“Nope, the crew will be here soon. All the last-minute touches will be handled. You go hang out with Auntie Beatrice.”

“Fine. I’ll see you later.”

Tommy wants to tell the man not to text or call Felicity that his plans have changed. Now that Oliver has left, he can place the pamphlets that holds the main attraction the reason the place is going to be packed. F’M Smoak is preforming tonight and her music sample is available online. With his panache of adding some videos taken of her college hey days it brought buzz thank goodness Oliver is so not into trends.

~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~sp@ce~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~

“Tommy! Tommy!” Felicity scrambling around the crewmembers that are putting the last bites of the pieces for tonight bash. “Tommy? Where are you?”

“Hey there superstar.”

“Oliver, hasn’t left. He’s still in Starling.”

“I know.”

“You know. Yea he told me not that long ago.” She’s fidgeting. “I can’t. I just can’t perform.”

“Why not? You sound amazing.” Tommy makes a gesture of rocking it. “Are you scared of a few people rocking it to your music?”

“Scared, me?” Felicity continues, “I… I didn’t think Oliver would be here. He says he’ll be passing by. I just can’t…”

“Yes. Yes, you can. Girl you are amazing. You’ll be in disguise. The music will speak for itself.”

“I can’t believe I’m going to do this.”

“Felici-ty, think of this as something years in the making. You know the club owners and you’ve got the voice.”

“Fine, I know your right.”

“Good, because I know you got this. Go get yourself transformed and become this amazing F’M Smoak I know you are.”

He watches her leave and is glad she listening. Taking a look at the amazing setup that Verdant has done he can’t wait to open the doors in less than an hour. If Oliver comes, he hopes seeing what he is dubbing Ollie’s girl up on stage will shake the man unto his core.

As Tommy gets his crew ready. He goes through the drill. Making sure his people work safe yet keep an eye out for any disorderly clients. People having fun and remembering a good night is all he wants. As the time dwindles down, he calls out, “All right people show time. You all have this. Let’s make this Halloween Bash be the talk of town. Best service, great atmosphere and one hell of a night of musical performers.” Here his crew cheer on everyone is ready. Doors open and the costumed guests start to fill in.

The music begins to play as the bar fills up. Tommy goes and checks on his musical guests, Thanking them all personally again. He notices he can’t find his number one girl. A little worried until her voice calls to him and he gets a good look at Felicity.

“Whoa.”

“Tommy?”

“Nah, wow you look amazing.” He gives her another look over. “I love the Goth you, not that the blonde you isn’t spunky.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment I think.”

He just chuckles, “Well I can’t wait to your set.” He can visually see her take a moment. She looks nervous. “Hey, you can so do this. F’M Smoak can. Knock them out of their boots.”

As her time comes, she goes up on stage. She’s glad that the lighting keeps her from truly focusing on any person. This way she can just sing to the crowd and not see any familiar faces, one especially.

Tommy is amazed as he watches her first set. He is singing along until he gets jabbed in the side and smirks to see Oliver make his presence known. The man is taking in the foam signs as his eyes fall on the singer. Tommy can pinpoint the moment Ollie recognizes Felicity and wow he doesn’t know which show to watch because Oliver is entranced and it’s like watching a movie as the most stoic man is showing so many different sentiments. From surprise all the way to lust.

Felicity words capturing the audience as her voice rocks the club.

“I'm kicking all the doors down I swear I'm gonna pull you out 'Cause your demons have been screamin' loud Na na-na-na na Throw me up against the wall There's nothin' that could scare me now Na na-na-na na”

She does a few more known songs and when she’s down the roar of the crowd clapping has her take a bow and then she moves to go back stage. Oliver is already moving quick. Tommy trailing behind he does not want to miss this.

Taking an offered water bottle Felicity chugs it. She is so glad this is over. She doesn’t know if Oliver caught her performance. Its freaking her out. She has no idea what he’d say or do and he’s only ever seen her be his tech girl.

“Felicity?”

His soft voice, she never noticed him sneaking up on her. She’s afraid to turn and see. As he calls out to her again, she tightens her closed eyes. She’s afraid of the disappointment she’ll see. He comes around to face her and she finally gazes at him. His blue eyes mesmerizing.

“I didn’t know but you were amazing.”

She’s stunned. Though his brightening smile gets her to smile.

Tommy watching this two fools dance around each other is sickening. “Well yea, you’ve always known she’s amazing.”

Oliver gives his best friend a dire look. Tommy just shrugs. These two aren’t going to move faster than a glacier so he goes back to front to watch the next act.

“You think I did good?”

“I do.” He’s really rattled by her look. He’s really digging it. “You also rock this getup.”

“Its something of a vintage. I first met Tommy wearing this.”

“Wait? What?”

“During some of my college days I may have also dabbled with music.”

“And you met Tommy than?”

“He was unreal and a perfect gentleman as he took a nice shiner to the face.”

Oliver is flabbergasted and actually recalls Tommy telling him about the black eye and his friend shrugging it off saying “The angelic voice was worth it.”

“The angelic voice.”

“What?”

“That is what he called you. This is what you’ve been doing all these weeks?” She nods. “I thought you and Tommy were getting chummy.”

“You did?”

“I almost wanted to give him another shiner to the face.”

“You won’t?”

He smirks, “F’M Smoak, I guess will never know.”

“Oliver, I’d like to get out of this ridiculous outfit.” She already grabbing a bag as she heading to where the foundry is. “I also have some…”

“Felicity?” he stops her.

“What?”

“You mentioned its only Halloween that you’ll where a mask. I was hoping to prolong the moment. Would you honor me with a drink at the bar?”

“Oliver, I would love to but there will be fans out there and…”

“And for a night, allow yourself to be the star, I promise to look out for you.” Getting really close to her as he whispers. “Tommy told be about the stalker.” He can see her processing that info but just nods as she takes his arm and the walk back.

The crowd loved her. For the rest of that night Oliver made sure she felt safe as she mingled with the fans. He enjoyed seeing her so out of the element for the quiet IT girl she has always portrayed to him. His girl is truly amazing and he promises himself that he won’t waste another second and ask her out soon. Though tonight F’M Smoak is in the house as Tommy gets her to do an encore.

This concludes the 31 days of Fictober!

Thank you!!!

song inspired:

Notes: https://genius.com/Valerie-broussard-deeper-lyrics

#fictober19 #oliver queen #olicity #felicity smoak #tommy merlyn

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voxvulgi · 6 years

Text

the rules: answer the questions given to you, write 11 questions of your own and tag 11 people.

under the cut for length

tagged by: @growinguphartless

1) How fast can you run a mile? I can’t :D 2) What was the last song you sang? I know I was singing something under my breath this afternoon but I don’t remember what it was. 3) Water, toothpaste, brush OR Toothpaste, water, brush? Toothpaste, water, brush. 4) Sushi? Favorite dish? Sushi is great. If you mean my favourite kind of sushi, then I have no idea. If you mean my favourite dish of all time, probably basic takeout Chinese ngl. 5) Weirdest fact? Dolphins kill babies to mate with the mother when they’re horny. (AKA dolphins are actually evil) 6) What do you know a lot about that’s a little weird? That’s the thing: I don’t know a lot about anything. Except maybe you could say I know a little more than the average person about schizophrenia thanks to Jacqueline? 7) Ever kept up with the Kardashians? No. 8) Earliest memory? I have no idea which one happened first, but one of my earliest memories is that one time we were in Egypt and my parents went into a store while I was still looking at the display outside, and some random guy comes up and says nothing to me but extends his hand. Now, my 4(?)-year-old self thought he knew I was a tourist (bc of course he’s psychic) and wanted to shake my hand. But I was too busy checking the display and decided to shake his hand when I was done. Then, my mom calls me and I go inside without doing so. And that, my dudes, is the story of how I didn’t get kidnapped. 9) Guilty Pleasure SONG? Shake It Off by Taylor Swift 10) Item of clothing you NEVER wear? LONG SKIRTS. 11) Favorite musical? I don’t have one.

tagged by: @cupido-periculosa

1) Describe another muse or OC that you have and aren’t playing right now! I guess you can call my son Ivan an OC. He’s one of those bitter characters, a little on the dark side. His loyalty levels are higher than Hailey on faerie drugs, but those are reserved for only two people, one of which is no longer in his life. Otherwise, he is not trusting and will form a bond with another person with difficulty. Something happened to him when he was 16 that set his cynicism in stone; he was betrayed by the people he was putting himself on the line to protect. So from now on, he’ll only work hard to ensure the safety and wellbeing of one person only. In case anything happens to this person, his next motivation would be revenge. 2) Sci-fi, romance, action, horror, or genre-of-your-choice movies, and why? Don’t judge me, but probably dramas/thrillers. I like to watch them on my solo movie nights with an extremely unhealthy snacks, but they’re not always good and I usually just watch them when I’m familiar with an actor or two. 3) What’s a book (or any piece of media) that really struck you and made you reconsider something about yourself, your life, or your opinions? I haven’t really acted on what it taught me yet, but Love Letters To The Dead by Ava Dellaira really stuck with me. I always give myself shit for things not playing out exactly how they’re supposed to, and this book just screamed at me really loudly that there is no such thing as “supposed to.” It’s also a good reminder that even the brightest heroes burn out sometimes. 4) All passions and interests start somewhere. When did you start writing and what made you want to start? I started writing when I was an 11-year-old living in her daydreams and realised I could use my imagination to actually write a story and maybe make a very cool job out of it. 5) What’s the ideal life for you? Again, don’t laugh!! But It’s quite honestly a cliche life in a small apartment in a city where rain is frequent. I’m writing for a living and going to conferences about something I care about (mental!!! illness!!!!) and have enough money to give my mom all the nice things she deserves. I’ve met all my favourite tumblr buddies and can afford to see them when I’m near their town for work purposes. I’m married to someone who reminds me why I ever had a poetry phase and I have a cat. And maybe actually go to the gym. 6) What show/book/movie do you look at and immediately get hit by a wave of nostalgia? Playhouse Disney stuff!! Little Einsteins, Rollie Pollie Ollie, and this Arabic cartoon channel called Spacetoon where I used to watch Teen Titans and Justice League. 7) What inspired your current muse(s)? (multis pick one, or your main one, if you don’t want to go down the entire list) Supernatural. I mean, obviously, Hailey was a Supernatural OC until like two weeks ago. I was really invested in the show when I made her, and when I am invested, I usually imagine what it would have been like if I inserted a character into this show. Like, what if there was a badass hunter called X who appeared in episode Y, OR WHAT IF THE WINCHESTERS HAD A SISTER. I was really interested in Adam, but we know nearly nothing about him to begin with, and he died even before he was introduced, and I would rather never eat rice again than RP a canon character, so *shrug emoji* 8) Very unoriginal but whose writing style do you really admire? @aworldfullofmuses and @the-storm-within-me I have one word for the likes of you: HOW???? 9) Ideal way to spend your birthday? Have cake with my classmates and go out to dinner with the fam sounds great, but one time, my mom bought me a cake and made an academic cap out of cardboard (I was almost done with high school) with candles on it and got me lenses as a present!! And as cheesy as this sounds, nothing I could do for my birthday (not even a trip to Disneyland, you hear??) would beat something small my mom got out of her way to make for me. 10) What’s a plot you’ve always wanted to do with your muse(s)? Anything with a Sam or Dean tbh, but I guess *shrug emoji* 11) What’s a casual interest of yours that when it comes up, you still like it and are passionate about it, but don’t devote a lot of energy to? ?????coffee?? idk Cip, I’m an all-or-nothing kind of person. (which is to say, nothing at all, ever, i am not a human being)

my questions:

1) What’s your favourite trip you’ve been on? 2) Who’s your favourite superhero? 3) What did you want to become when you were 10? 4) Who’s the first muse you’ve RPed on Tumblr? 5) Recommend a book, movie, or video game. 6) How many siblings do you have? 7) If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? 8) If your muse(s) could change one thing about themselves, what would it be? 9) If your muse(s) were given the chance to punch you, would they? 10) You start getting paranoid when your phone battery reaches __%. 11) Finally, any life advice for my fetus self?

tagging: @elysiahellfire @ribbedxgloves @survivics @endlessdrifter @aworldfullofmuses @the-storm-within-me @scarredhistory @ericbrandonrp @warrioroflondonbelow @qoldhearted @notaseamonster

#{{ i feel live one of those people who make their life better by journaling omg }}#like*#;; tagged and tagging #the fault in our mun

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