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astr0disiac · 2 years

Text

ydttm

-you did this to me.

I wasn’t interested, I’ve never been interested.

How could I be?

We are friends, we were friends at least. Maybe more of a found family.

I always saw it that way, so when did it become different to you?

I trusted you. I looked up to you.

But it kind of makes sense. Looking back, I guess I was just naive, or refused to see it.

I always thought that women and men could be friends. Because of your guidance, we harbored the same interest. When I was embarrassed about myself, you were the first to put me in the spotlight. I felt like I was growing into being a true adult, even if you weren’t the most ideal role model. You looked after me, a novice, practically helped raise me. So when did things become wrong?

Was it when I turned 18? Maybe when I most recently turned 21?

From graduating highschool to now, I can’t help but feel more conscious of my body. How I look, how my hips sway when I walk, how my breasts perk upward.

Were you conscious as well?

Is that why the hugs lasted a bit longer than usual? Is that why I could pick out your gaze more often than most?

I don’t get it? How could you see me like this? When I trusted you to see me as just me. Not an object of your affection. What would you get out of it? Me, a wild sprout in the palm of the gardener. Poked and prodded, twiddled between meaty fingertips. A piece of wet clay, that you continued to add to, to build upon. What were you trying to mold me into?

You tried so hard to get me alone.

Let’s go here together. Just the two of us.

Let’s do this, we’re the only two who would enjoy it.

No one else understands you like I do.

And people hinted at it, and I thought it was weird. I wondered, why were they trying to spoil our fun? We were just hanging out.

Maybe they were trying to warn me. I wish they were more upfront about it. I’m the proclaimed “baby” of the group, teetering through newfound adulthood. Any other time, they all held a tight grip on me, but now it seems as if they casted me unto a wild dog to fend for myself. Maybe they didn’t want to make it any weirder than it already seemed. But did they think about me? Even once? Why didn’t they think about how I felt? Was their attachment to you more important? Is it because they knew you longer than I was born?

What kind of life lesson is this?

Either way, trust is a two way street, and just like you trusted me to stay oblivious, I trusted you as you continued to push drinks in my direction.

Shot after shot, glass after glass.

You’re 21 now. You’re a big girl.

I felt I had something to prove. You’re right. I am a big girl. I’m an adult, I’m grown. I’m of age. I’m allowed to do these things because I have this funny thing called free will.

Just like how you had the free will to do what you did.

Isn’t free will a two way street? So why did my rights get discarded?

Just like the cloth on my back.

My mind is blanking a bit…

It’s hard to think right now…

My head hurts so badly…it’s sure to last for days.

Like you're scent between my legs.

Showering doesn’t help, but then again, what am I showering for?

Why am I scrubbing my skin raw? I don’t remember.

I don’t want to remember.

And who can I tell? Didn’t they try to warn me?

What were they warning me about anyway?

I can’t seem to recall.

I don’t want to. I don’t want to. I don’t want to.

I can’t.

Everything is black. Everything aches.

There’s something in my stomach.

A baby?

No.

A knot.

So I vomit.

Physically and legibly.

So I can let someone, anyone at all, know that-

#tw ed vent #writing #digital diary #tw r*pe #idk idk

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karasimpno · 3 years

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Hi! I just stumbled onto you and I'm really happy I did! I don't really know if you take more requests but I'll shoot. Some scenario where Daichi, Bokuto or Kuro help cheer you up with little things or not so little things. You know fluff or smut 😅 Hope you're doing well and that the next year treats you good! ❤

HI LOVELY you submitted this ages ago I’m sorry for the tardiness with everything <3 but I adore you and this was fun :)

Also I got your suggestions and threw them in my draft, they’re very good ones :)

OKAY I’m going with Kuroo AND because it’s @bluntkingkuroo‘s BIRTHDAAAAAYYYYYYY I’m also writing this in honor of her. GO FOLLOW HER Y’ALL SHE’S THE REASON I’M HERE!!!!!

pairing: Kuroo x cisfem!reader contains: sleepy cuddly sex, fingering, mark-leaving/mention of hickeys, light biting

Despite the bright, warm light spilling through your window shutters, you remained in bed, curled up in your sheets with your back to the invasive radiance. Nothing made you want to get out of bed, even the thought of seeing some other part of the house for the first time today.

“Babe?” a deep voice croaked out beside you. In spite of yourself, you smiled a little. Even if you were feeling a little grumpy and hungover after your houseguests had stayed wayyyy too late last night, you were glad Kuroo remained in bed beside you. Even the harsh reminder of how late in the day it was couldn’t outshine the fuzzy feeling you got from seeing him in your bed.

“What’s up?” the voice prodded, clearly as tired as you felt. A hand snaked its way around your waist. You always slept in on Sundays, but this was late late. You heard Kuroo sigh and shuffle as he shifted in closer to you, tucking his knees behind yours and pressing his chest flush against your back. The arm that had snuck around your torso pulled you in close and you felt a warm nose and pair of lips press themselves to the sensitive skin at the base of your neck.

“Mmmph,” was all you groaned in response, but you relaxed into the spoon, squeezing Kuroo’s hand with your own.

“Mmmm,” was Kuroo’s answer, his still-sleepy voice cracking in a way that shouldn’t be as sexy as it was, sending vibrations reverberating down your back as his chest resonated with the sound. “Is somebody grumpy?” he teased, lifting a finger to poke annoyingly at your cheekbone. A child. You swatted at his hand lazily, offering a tired grunt in response.

“Awww, c’mon,” his voice grew saccharine sweet. “You need something to make you feel better?” Kuroo asked.

You felt the lips that had been pressed against your skin, breathing hot air over you whenever Kuroo spoke and making your hair stand on end, begin to move. You shuddered in a shaky breath when they parted to allow the quick swipe of a tongue to dart out across your neck, chased by the gentle scrape of teeth.

“Ah-hah...” escaped the involuntary sigh from your lips.

“...’cause I think I can probably manage that,” Kuroo teased, followed by an exaggerated sound of chomping as his lips affixed themselves back to your neck again, his tongue laving over a larger area than it had previously. Heat rose to your face at the sensation and you allowed yourself to let go and give into the wet contact, squeezing the hand against your chest closer to your body.

Kuroo felt the loosening of your muscles and took advantage of the opportunity to dig his teeth deeper into your skin, unable to resist the sweet taste of you. He wanted to focus on making you feel better but damn if you didn’t just make him crazy for you.

With a wet suck, Kuroo drew his teeth together, pinching your sensitive skin between them, making you sure it would leave a mark as the arousing pain elicited a gasp from you. You bit your lip, rubbing your thumb across the back of Kuroo’s large, veined hand, noticing how your breathing had already begun increasing in spite of your bad mood. Damn this man and his irresistible tongue, you thought.

Suddenly, you needed more of him, the heat rising in your neck becoming too much for you as he continued the focused attentions of his tongue and teeth. If you could have seen the way his brows furrowed in concentration at sucking feverishly at your neck, you would have grown even wetter than you were already becoming. Shifting slightly, you let your hand reach back to find the long locks of hair that always fell into his eyes, and you threaded your fingers against his scalp, encouraging the hot press of his tongue.

Kuroo groaned against you and moved the hand that had been resting around you further down your body, the pressure of the contact exhilarating as he determined to feel every part of you as he moved. Licking a quick stripe over one of the already ripening bruises on your neck, he slipped his fingers past the waistband of your shorts, dipping into your thin panties and seeking out the apex of those legs he so adored.

Fingertips sliding past your curls, he groaned into your shoulder when his index finger ghosted over your slit, slickness already gathering there at his eager touch. Relishing in the movement, he eased the digit past your outer lips into your slippery folds, and you felt his breath hitch before his lips crashed into your neck again, his self-control slipping at how good your sweet little pussy lips felt wrapped around his finger. With still such little space between your rear and Kuroo’s hips, you felt a growing bulge begin to harden behind you.

As if the coating of his finger in your arousal was the most agonizingly pleasurable feeling in the world for Kuroo, he swirled the lone digit with hedonistic slowness through your slick. He breathed almost as heavily as you were against your neck as he found your clit, giving it a few experimental flicks with the pad of his finger, relishing in how your body jolted in response to his touch. Kuroo groaned again and picked up the pace, making steady circles around the apex of your pleasure as you keened at the sensation.

You were shocked at how much you were already gushing around him, your hips beginning to tremble as he stimulated that most sensitive of all spots in your body. He caught your ear between his teeth, the pants from his nose falling straight into your ear, making your body even more sensitive to his touch. You felt yourself cry out involuntarily at one particularly deft flick of his finger, and the hand that you had tangled in his hair shot down to grip onto his impossibly muscular forearm, encouraging exactly what he was doing. Absently, you felt your head being shifted as Kuroo slipped his other arm under your pillow, reaching for your opposite hand and interlacing his fingers with yours, pulling your entwined arms to your chest so he could hold you even closer as your hips started bucking against his touch.

Kuroo’s pants were just as hot and needy as yours were now, getting off on feeling you fall apart in his arms. His low groans and insistent huffs filled your ears as his finger continued circling with increasing vigor around your practically-humming clit. You barely noticed as he added a second finger, his strokes growing in pressure and speed. Your brain was clouded with your impending high and you let yourself moan out his name, everything seeming to move too quickly and yet not at all.

Kuroo’s tongue returned to your neck, drunk off the feeling of tasting you, and he groaned loudly and wantonly by your ear. The earnest sound of his pleasure at your own reactions sent you over the edge and both your hands tightened on the places where they were already gripping him hard. You let your mind leave your body for a second as you came completely undone in Kuroo’s arms, feeling so safe and secure as he helped you prolong your bliss, holding you close with his other arm while your body went completely slack in his embrace.

You half-sighed, half-panted as the post-orgasm high replaced the high of the climax, and a tired, dopey smile spread across your lips. You released your death grip on Kuroo’s hand and forearm and you felt him sigh against your back. He shifted slightly behind you and you were suddenly hyper aware of how much his body heat had been warming your back. You half-rolled over to chase the warmth as he pulled his hand from your shorts in the same motion. As you rolled, Kuroo’s knee came to rest in between yours, hovering above you with a tired but loving expression on his face. The warm yellow light that spilled across his face seemed to light his eyes from the inside, and his slight blush combined with the way the sun made his golden eyes sparkle made you feel like putty beneath him. You sighed contentedly and reached up to bring him into a sweet kiss. Chaste, thankful.

“Feeling any better?” he smirked as he pulled away slightly, looking at you through hooded eyes.

You just laughed and pulled him closer, aware of the growing hardness resting against your thigh.

“Oh, very,” you grinned, feeling bubbly in your bliss. “But I think I can feel even better, don’t you?”

karasimpno ml general taglist (send a message to be added!): @goddessofchaosleo @kodzurin @honeybunny-sawamura @bluntkingkuroo @waitforitillwritemywayout @kuroos-simp

#kuroo tetsurou #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsurou x reader #kuroo smut #kuroo x reader smut #kuroo #elle writes #elle answers #leo <3

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depressedhatakekakashi · 2 years

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Oh damn well if you're accepting AU's too... KakaGai - Star Trek Original Series style AU?

“A whole new world,” Gai hovered behind Kakashi, prodding him in the side as they stared out the view point in the mess hall. “New people to meet.”

“The planet only has life signs in small areas of the planet,” Kakashi reminded his friend. “If anything we’ll be avoiding them so we don’t risk breaking the prime directive.”

Gai’s face fell. “Why do you always have to be a party pooper, Kakashi?” He asked, giving his friend another sharp poke in the side and beaming when the Captain glared at him. “Star fleet doesn’t have to know if we take a little peak.”

“Isn’t your job to be my second in command and stop me from making bad decisions?” It was impressive just how much Gai aimed to do the exact opposite of his job as Number one. “We’re going down for spil and plant samples and coming right back up. Nothing else.”

That was their mission. Find out as much as they could about the planets wild life without interacting with the people. They had done it a hundred times before and they would do it again.

“One peak?” Gai insisted, wrapping his arms around Kakashi’s waist and pulling him back against his chest. “We don’t have to talk to them.”

Kakashi scoffed. “Matio Gai, not talking to people he see’s. If i live to see the day-“ his teasing was rewarded with a crushing hug. His bones complaining under The grip Gai had him in. “If i say yes will you do my paperwork?”

“Of course,” that was always their deal. Kakashi lets them have a little more fun than the should and Gai allowed him a break from the mindless paperwork. It was a win-win. “And if it’s entertaining enough i’ll-“

Feeling Gai’s lips against his ear, Kakashi felt his face burning with embarrassment when he heard just what Gai had in mind. A little secret just between them.

“Promise?”

“I promise, Rival.”

With Paperwork no longer an issue, and such a tantalizing offer in the table, how could Kakashi say no? Star Fleet was simply going to have to understand that his first officers curiosity cane first.

Right after Kakashi’s need to see just how serious his boyfriend was about that secret offer.

#Star Trek Au #Kakagai

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