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insomniac-dot-ink · 4 years

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Books I’ve Read in 2020

AHello! I’m trying to read as many books as I can during the quarantine, here’s what I’ve finished so far:

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong (literary fiction): a son writes a letter about his life to his illiterate mother. Breathtakingly beautiful with it’s way with words this book is lovely and real in the hardest and sweetest ways. The author’s combination of prose and poetry is dazzling and intricate, this book has stuck with me for days afterward. 4.5 out of 5 stars.

Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik (fantasy): a money-lender gets in trouble after bragging she can turn silver into gold and is kidnapped and ordered to do so by a fey creature. It may be that I am the perfect audience for this type of book, but it’s my favorite thing I’ve read all year. It’s a book that equally takes on the fantastical and real-world with compelling female characters at the center of the whole thing. A wonderful fantasy journey inspired by eastern-European Jewish folklore. 5 out of 5 stars.

Through the Woods by Emily Carroll (horror graphic novel): a series of short horror comics. Absolutely bone-chilling! This was a really fun type of scary story, especially the last one which made my skin absolutely crawl. Deliciously eerie, this was treat to read if not a little too short. 4 out of 5 stars.

The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender (magical realism): a young girl can taste other people’s emotions in their cooking and begins to understand her family in new ways. This was a weird book, but it has everything you’ve got to love about that combination of the surreal and mundane. It’s sense of character was electrifying and I had fun engaging with this type of off-kilter real world. I was a little frustrated in parts bc of some characters choices, but that too was true to life. 4 out of 5 stars.

Crier’s War by Nina Varela (steampunk fantasy wlw): about a Made automaton heir to a throne and her human hand-maiden that is trying to kill her. This was an easy read with a lot of tension between the two main characters that I liked, but the writing itself was very weak. There was waaay too much exposition in parts and the dialogue had some really hockey lines. I enjoyed the twists and turns in the middle of the book, but the beginning and end didn’t have much movement. 2.5 stars out of 5.

The Huntress by Kate Quinn (historical fiction): honestly, I’m a little disappointed. This book just did not hit my sweet spots, it wasn’t fast-paced enough for me to get immersed in the plot, and the characters weren’t real enough to be wholly invested in them. That said I adored Nina Markova and the Night Witches, so that did help. 3 starts out of 5.

The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein by Kiersten White (horror sci-fi retelling): HAND IN UNLOVABLE HAND. A retelling of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein from the perspective of Victor Frankenstein’s wife and my God! The characters! The plot was well-enough, but the characters took the whole show for being complex and compelling. The main character was breathtakingly layered and I was wholly invested in Elizabeth and her story and the triumph at the end of this story was tangible. 4 out of 5 stars!

Uprooted by Naomi Novik (fantasy): A story of a young woman who lives in a valley where a girl must go live with a wizard for 10 years. She is certain she won’t be chosen, but ends up having to be “uprooted” herself. I enjoyed most of this book! However, I think I liked “Spinning Silver” a lot more just because the ending of this one somehow lost me. The characters were good and plot compelling, but (SPOILERS) the big battle at the end seemed to drag and didn’t interest me somehow. 3.8 out of 5 stars.

Gods of Jade and Shadow by Silvia Moreno-Garcia (fantasy): excellent read! A story of a young woman in Jazz Age Mexico who goes on an adventure with a Mayan death God who is trying to regain his throne. A romp across the country absolutely brimming with likable characters and fairy tale twists. My only complaint would be that most of it felt a little predictable due to the fact we knew where we were going throughout the whole story, However, it was still greatly enjoyable for the heroine herself, Casiopea. 4 out of 5 stars!

Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng (literary): a story of two families in a progressive “planned” community, how their lives intertwine, their secrets, and a central question surrounding motherhood. Deeply empathetic to its characters and introspective, this is an every-day story of people in suburbia that reads like a thriller. I could barely put it down and felt deeply for its characters and situations, 5 out of 5 stars!

Wilder Girls by Rory Power (YA sci-fi suspense): a story of a group of girls at a boarding school on an island affected by the “tox” which alters their bodies in strange ways like giving them scales or an extra spine. This was an eerie, interesting read with a wlw romance! Watch out for the body horror in this one, but it was very gripping and held my interest. Some of the pacing was off in places (like the romance), but had a very creepy atmosphere that did it for me. 3.8 out of 5 stars!

If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (thriller-mystery): A thriller about a group of Shakespeare actors in their last year of college and one of their classmates who turns up dead. I enjoyed the murder mystery part of this novel more than I expected despite the fact I had guessed who had “done it” pretty early on. I really enjoyed the James-Oliver dynamic with its growing homoeroticism, but I didn’t like how the character of Meredith was handled at all. She felt like a one-note aside. I might have given this book four stars, but the ending was EXTREMELY frustrating for me and I did not like the “open-ended” conclusion. 3 out of 5 stars.

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman (literary humor): a weird character-driven comedy about an old grumpy man and a new family that moves in next to him. Warning for themes of suicide. Anyway, I don’t normally indulge in cliches like “I laughed, I cried, I loved one Cat Annoyance.” However, that’s exactly what I did. I laughed out loud, I cried my eyes out (THE CAT’S HEAD WAS IN HIS PALM), I loved this book. It was sweet and compelling and thoroughly immersive. 5 out of 5 stars!

The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow (historical fantasy): set in the early 1900s comes a story of a young girl and her experience with “Doors” that lead to different worlds. This book had a lot of great character development and really interesting descriptions, however, I didn’t like it as much as I wanted to. I found it hard to get myself to sit down a read it. There was just something missing with the push to “page-turn,” but it was still a really good book. 3.7 out of 5 stars!

Gideon the 9th by Tamsyn Muir (high fantasy, kinda gay): I AM FILLED WITH EMOTIONS. This was book was definitely a page-turner. I was very confused with it at the beginning, but the characters and their interactions were, forgive the expression, the life blood of the story and kept me wholly invested. The ending has CRUSHED my heart, but damn did I have a good time reading it. 4.5 out of 5 stars!

Harrow the 9th by Tamsyn Muir (sequel to Gideon the 9th): I really enjoyed this book. It was just as strange and twisting as the first book, though I think I enjoyed the first one a bit more since I love Gideon. It was fun ride overall, though the ending was kind of really confusing. So 4 out of 5 stars.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo (historical fiction): Overall, I really enjoyed this book! The writing style was personable and grounded in reality. I found myself really liking the main characters and the exploration of the life of a bi main character was really well done I thought. A solid book with drama and glamor to boot. 4.6 out of 5 stars!

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah (historical fiction): A story of two sisters during WWII and their resistance to Nazi occupation. To be honest, this book wasn’t my cup of tea. It was compelling, but also wholly depressing and I felt like gloried in the pain of the two main characters too much. The history was wonderful and realistic, but it didn’t make me feel anything good afterward. It was just dark. 3 out of 5 stars.

Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston (mlm romance): I finally finished this after the heaviness of The Nightingale. This is a story of the First Son of the USA falling for the prince of England. And it turned out to be a very fun and light hearted read! Some of it was kinda generic and too political, and it coulda been shorter, but I thought the romance itself made up for it. It just made me feel so sweet and lovely inside. 4 out of 5 stars!

Anxious People by Fredrik Backman (literary humor): I’m searching out heartfelt books and this one ticked off all the marks on my “sweet” list. A lovely book that made me cry more times than I would like to admit. Compassionate beyond belief, funny and heartfelt. I think I enjoyed A Man Called Ove slightly more, but this book was also dear to me and something I hope to reread in the future. 4.2 out of 5 stars!

Station Eleven by Emily St John Mandel (sci-fi): A post-apocalyptical story about a group of traveling Shakespeare actors and a symphony. Overall, an excellent read that somehow pictures a more realistic or even softer version of the apocalypse. At first, I wasn't happy with the jumping around of the story, but as I progressed I grew fonder and fonder of the interwoven characters and their journey. A very fascinating read about a world that hits a little too close to home. The appreciation of the arts and preserving humanity was somehow very hopeful and I was fully engaged with this story. 5 out of 5 Stars!

Up next: The Hidden Life of Trees by by Peter Wohlleben (nonfiction science), The City We Became by N. K. Jemisin (urban fantasy), The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern (fantasy)

#I'll keep this list updated!#am reading #bookblr #IA talks #I've mostly read books I've really liked this year!#then again I rarely finish books I don't like

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stfredsa · 3 years

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SHIP OPINIONS MEME / accepting .

💛 full opinionated analysis on our shared storm children, please and thank

(((((: i’ve ranted abt them 24/7 for like the past month idk what more to tell you !!, she said, while simultaneously breeding 2678 more thoughts, a critical essay and several spinoffs for television. but anyway. uh. i’m gonna slap a small summary here for those who don’t know about the current obsession that has caused me to become kalfred central but basically

KALFRED FOR DUMMIES !! —— take the most clichè of plots, big bad assassin ( ilias, posing under the alias of kal ) is sent by fred’s uncle to retrieve her / bring her back / idk, but while he’s posing as a mechanic in her town to try and get intel and figure out if this is even worth his time, fred w the power of being a fckn dumbass and an overall nuisance bullies him into falling in love w her and they have that kind of relationship that makes fred say i love you first which i’m telling you is rarer than the sun spinning around the earth and anyway it all goes to shit when she learns he’s actually an assassin and she feels betrayed and humiliated and never wants to see him again and so ofc he leaves and she hates everything and she’s scared but he comes back bc victor’s still out to get her and ofc he has to make sure she’s not like. killed or maimed or turned into pig food and basically a whole load of shit happens and there is a lot of heartbreak and he handles her uncle but then this fucking walnut of a man leaves again and leaves fred a grieving broken lifeless mess and idk they get kind of a happy ending but it’s fucking sad bc what are we if not bitches to our characters honestly anyway AAAAAAAAA ok this is over.

but the point is.

i honestly cannot stop obsessing over them them. which everyone knows by now, i’m sure. if they don’t, the band c/amino for sure will know by the overwhelming amount of streams the black and white and berenstein got from me myself and i. neways —— ok the thing about these two is, i think, their story feels epic. it’s big and wild and dramatic and funny and sexy and it does remind me a lot of wuthering heights bc … they truly are storm children, both tempestuous and reckless and passionate as fuck and just. sometimes i think that if i was writing a story with fred as the main character and i had to create a character to be her main love interest i would 100% create someone like ilias / kal ( except i wouldn’t bc such a brilliant, complicated, layered creature could only come from your beautifully brilliant brain ) bc he’s … he’s nothing like you would expect and he’s somehow both exactly what fred needs and exactly what will completely throw her off her game, and a catalyst of growth in a way, and a lot of development that is NOT necessarily good ( bc as i told you, when he leaves the second time fred is truly going to hit rock bottom and in a sick way i’m also excited to explore that - how it’s gonna shift her entire perspective on her trauma and surviving bc she survived something horrible but she still had herself and now she simply doesn’t anymore ) and just. i could honestly find a million sources for inspiration both on a singular character level ( because you HAVE made me realize things about fred i had no idea about ) and on a relationship level and i’m just. simply ? truly ? obsessed.

i’ll stop now or else i’m gonna rant for the rest of the night but the point of this is: my heart is bursting. it can’t contain the love i have for them, it just can’t.

SENT FROM / @demottcm .

#demottcm #ASK —— a different kind of danger in the daylight.#my brain has been kalfred central for a while #kalfred brainrot #which should be iliasfred brainrot ??#fredias ??#frilias ??#fralixus ??#HELP ME OUT HERE #fergalicious ???#DYN . KALIX —— never loved a darker blue than the darkness i've known in you.

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kriscme · 4 years

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One Life To Live

Hi Readers, here’s the latest chapter. As usual, thanks to Ronja for allowing me to write fanfic of her Hunger Games fanfic “The Chance You Didn’t Take” which you can read on FanFiction and AO3. Chapter 25 Soon after we arrive, I set to work sweeping the floor clear of dust with the twig broom my father made for me. Then I take a few logs from the woodpile in the corner and transfer them to the fireplace for use later on. That done, cooking and eating utensils are placed by the hearth. Sleeping mats are unrolled, sleeping bags are shaken out and then arranged on top. It’s like playing house again. Just as I did when my father brought me here as a child. I survey my work, satisfied that I’ve made our accommodation as comfortable as I can make it. I’ve put about three feet between the sleeping mats. Not so close as to be an invitation, but not so far apart that it looks like I’m keeping him at a distance either. Because I’m not yet sure how I should proceed. This is all so new to me, and I’m hopelessly out of my depth. Gale, Peeta even, belong to my teenage years and kissing was as far as it went. An adult relationship comes with a different set of expectations. I have to be careful that I don’t start something that could quickly escalate into something I’m not ready for. But something has started already, a little voice reminds me. It started when you returned his kisses. I put my hand to my lips at the memory. Yes, I returned them. And with such enthusiasm that it took Marcus by surprise. But he recovered quickly, and matched passion with passion. We stumbled over to the couch, displacing a furious Buttercup as we collapsed onto it, barely breaking the kiss. I welcomed his hand on my breast, and the hand on my behind pulling me against his hardness. Even the hand between my legs, stroking through the thick fabric of my khaki trousers. But when he whispered “bedroom” in my ear, I froze. I was like Haymitch, jolted to rude consciousness by a jug of cold water poured over my head. Shocked, disorientated, confused. What was I doing? I’m in love with Peeta. I muttered something about moving too fast and Marcus accepted it, perhaps putting it down to District conservativeness when it comes to sex. He’s been very solicitous of me these past few days but there’s been no more kisses. It’s like he’s giving me my space. The only thing is that I’m not sure I want it.

Since I see no clear solution to the problem, I push it aside for the time being and set to my next task which is to cast out fishing lines to catch my dinner. Marcus has brought cans of beans and dehydrated meals you add water to. While I don’t dislike beans, they’re no substitute for freshly caught fish. I brought along my bow but it’s for protection from predators and it won’t be used to bring down waterfowl on this trip. Marcus hasn’t said anything about my hunting, but I suspect anyone who is both conservationist and a vegetarian probably wouldn’t approve. When the woods are turned into national park, there will be restrictions on hunting. Maybe even a ban. I have mixed feelings. I never hunted for sport, only for food. But it was a hard-earned skill, and one I’ve been very proud of. I can see why it has to be done. I’d much rather a forest teaming with life than a free-for-all for trigger-happy hunters to practice their target shooting. But it will be a sad day, none-the-less. And that’s another thing that won’t stay the same.

But what is still the same, for now anyway, are the lake and the concrete house. To my relief, they were exactly as I left them. Neither showed any sign of recent human activity. But it’s only a matter of time before others discover it too. At little more than a half day walk from the meadow, it’s a wonder it hasn’t happened already. Once the lines are out, there’s nothing to do but wait. I flop down onto a grassy spot near the bank to enjoy the sunshine and the scenery. It’s a lovely day. The sun is warm, but not hot. The breeze is gentle and just cool enough to be refreshing. Nature is bountiful here. Ducks and geese float serenely on the lake. Birds chatter in the trees. Frogs croak and the scent of pine fills the air. In the distance, I see Marcus exploring the area, making notes and taking measurements. Perhaps he’s planning a viewing platform or something. He said he wants to keep the lake as untouched as possible. No hunting or fishing huts like they had in the past. My mind wanders to other times spent here. With my father, who taught me how to swim in this very lake, and where to dig for katniss roots. With Gale when I tried to persuade him to escape with me into the woods. He told me he loved me that day. But I couldn’t say it back and it changed things between us, far more than the kiss ever did. At least I could pretend the kiss never happened, since Gale said nothing about it when we next met. But once a friend has declared love, and it’s not returned, the friendship is over. Maybe not straight away, but its demise is inevitable. There’s no going back. Peeta would have thought of this. Especially since he’s to be married soon. Too awkward and painful for all concerned. Better to put it out of its misery than have it die a lingering death. I haven’t seen him since that strange conversation on my porch when he told me he’d see me around. The next morning, when I left for work, I didn’t wait for him but marched briskly towards the town. But I couldn’t help looking back every few minutes, hoping that I had somehow misinterpreted his meaning, and he was behind me trying to catch me up. He wasn’t. And then I think of my very last visit to the lake almost a year ago. It was a stifling hot day. I had ventured outside with the intention of checking on Haymitch but instead caught Peeta as he was about to go into town. He was to meet Lace at the swimming pool where they were having swimming lessons together. He asked me along, but the prospect of spending an afternoon in their company as some kind of hanger-on was the last thing I wanted. Suddenly at a loss, I abandoned my earlier plan to visit Haymitch and headed for the woods. All I could think about was Peeta and how suited Lace was for him, and how I wasn’t. My self-esteem was at its lowest ebb. I couldn’t think of one admirable quality I possessed. I couldn’t imagine why anyone would love me.

Instinct more than anything must have propelled my feet towards the lake. Maybe because this place reminds me of my father and a time when I felt loved. I ended up staying overnight, unwilling to face the long walk back in the heat. There was a Victor’s dinner that night but it didn’t occur to me that I’d be missed. But I was. They phoned me several times until Haymitch was dispatched to my house to look for me. I met Peeta the next day as he was headed into town. He said he had been worried about me, that anything could have happened. He did look as if hadn’t slept, so maybe he had worried, but he didn’t try to find me. I didn’t ask why at the time. It didn’t even occur to me. I was too resentful at the presumption that I couldn’t look after myself. But still, I could have been stranded in the woods with a broken leg for all he knew. And here he was, on his way to see Lace. I followed him into town, as he asked. He had something to tell me that apparently couldn’t wait. I wasn’t to come over at night anymore to sleep in his guestroom because it made him a bad boyfriend. I recall he had a visitor that night, probably Lace. I guess that’s why it was so urgent. Can’t have the ex-fiance turning up in the middle of the night when the new girlfriend is staying over. Looking back, that’s when I should have seen the signs and ended it. None of this insistence that he get his memories back. All it led to was a year of futility and frustration. I should have known that my Peeta was dead when his first instinct was to protect Lace rather than me. I can’t be mad at him. This is what the hijacking was meant to achieve. That it didn’t succeed in its full objective to make him completely hate me, is of little comfort. It took what I cherished most and killed it. The steadfast devotion was gone. So too was the undying love. Perhaps, since he couldn’t love me the way he used to, I should be thankful that Peeta put a stop to the guestroom sleep-overs. At least it gave me the impetus to make a stand, and get off my backside and do something with my life. I have friends and a job I love now. And there’s a man who seems to like me a lot. He’s over by the concrete house right now, getting a campfire started. He’s not my boyfriend, but would he be, if I opened that door? All I know is that it’s far too soon for me to love anyone. Anyway, there can’t be much future in it. He won’t be staying in 12 for ever and I can’t go anywhere. When I check the fishing lines, I find one has caught a nice trout. It’s not very big, but plenty enough for one person. I remove the hook from its mouth and take a folding knife from my pocket to clean and scale it. Then I walk over to where Marcus is. He’s got the fire burning nicely and is in the process of emptying a can of beans into a saucepan. “I’ve got my dinner,” I announce brightly, holding my fish aloft. He glances my way just long enough to take in the fish before he turns his attention back to the beans. He says nothing. “What?” I exclaim. His back is turned to me, but I see disapproval in every line. “Nothing,” he says, barely deigning to look at me. “But I don’t see why you had to kill another living creature when we have plenty of food. Which, by the way, is undersized. It should have been thrown back.” I stand there gaping at him, completely taken aback. I’m not used to receiving criticism from Marcus and it takes a few seconds to find my voice.

“It is not undersized. Well, maybe a little, but not by much. I don’t get this. You know I hunt. Why shouldn’t I eat fish if that’s what I want. Not everyone wants to eat rabbit food all the time. Like you.” “Rabbits don’t eat beans,” he says. He calmly places the saucepan of beans on the metal grate before standing and turning his attention to me. “I just don’t see the need to eat meat, that’s all, when we can live very well on a vegetarian diet. “You eat milk and eggs,” I say accusingly. “They come from animals.” “Yes, but we don’t kill the animal to get them. When this place becomes a national park, they’ll be no fishing. But it’s done now, so you might as well eat it. It will have lost its life for nothing if you don’t.” I’m so annoyed, I want to take my fish and slap him across the face with it. It’s almost as if my very reason for existence has been challenged. My hunting skills are what kept me alive in the Games. Hunting is what kept myself and my family fed. He’s never had to worry about where his next meal comes from. It must be so nice to have choices. “I don’t see that I’ve done anything wrong. Big fish eat little fish. Big animals eat smaller animals. It’s how nature works. So get over it.” I look around for something to put my fish in but I don’t see a frying pan. But then I remember I put some cooking things by the hearth in the concrete house. That suits me just fine. I could use some distance from Marcus right now. Besides I don’t want to use his fire. I want my own. I wouldn’t want to contaminate his by using it to cook meat. Maybe tomorrow I’ll roast a duck. That’ll show him. The trouble is that it’s hard to start a fire with just logs. You need some kind of kindling, and there’s nothing in the house that will do. I did too good a job sweeping it clean of leaves and other debris. “Katniss”, I hear him call out. “What are you doing?”

“I’m cooking my fish like you said I should.” Footsteps approach and I know by the shadow that falls across the room that he’s standing at the entrance. “Look, this is ridiculous. Come and cook the fish out here. I’ve finished heating the beans. The fire’s all yours. I’m sorry if it came across as judgmental. It’s just something I feel strongly about but I don’t expect you to feel the same. You should enjoy your fish.” Somewhat mollified, I rise from my crouched position by the hearth to follow him outside. But then he ruins it. “And, anyway, there shouldn’t be two fires when one will suffice.” “You shouldn’t have made a new fire in the first place,” I return hotly. “Doesn’t it say somewhere in your camping books that you should always use an existing site rather than make a new one? And I’d already stacked it with wood.” “I didn’t want to smoke out . . . Katniss, just get out here before I come in and carry you out. You’re being childish.” “I’m being childish?” I screech indignantly. He’s blocking my way, but I go to push past him. “What about – “

My words are suddenly cut off by his lips on mine. One arm encircles my body to pin my arms to my sides while the other cradles the back of my head. I struggle briefly but it’s a token attempt and he knows it. The kiss goes on for a long time. “Go cook your fish,” he whispers against my lips. And then he pushes me gently outside. My fish is delicious. I stuff the inside with wild herbs and pan fry it gently so that the skin crisps but doesn’t burn. It would go well with roasted katniss roots and I decide to search for some tomorrow. Marcus shouldn’t have a problem with katniss roots since they are plants. That is, unless plants are protected in a national park too. Perhaps I shouldn’t risk it. But then I think of the kiss, so maybe I will. My appetite has been whetted for something else besides food.

I wonder if I’m a bad person for having lustful thoughts about Marcus. Only days before I was having them about Peeta. I would have given anything to have him sweep me into his arms, tell me that it was really me he had loved me all along and that Lace was a terrible mistake he’ll regret for the rest of his life, and then make passionate love to me. And to be honest, I still would. But that’s impossible and there’s no sense in thinking like that anymore. I’m twenty years old, a virgin, and the most I’ve ever done is kissing, and there’s been very little of that in recent years. It dawns on me that I’m starved for physical affection. And not just affection either. I want sex. Hot, unbridled, to-hell-with-the consequences sex. Like the sex Celia had in that silly show “One Life to Live.” Not the sandwich thing though. Oh, who am I kidding, I almost feel reckless enough to try that too. I’ve nothing to lose. Certainly not Peeta. And I know Marcus wants it, only he’s too much of a gentleman to push me any further than where I put a halt to it the other night. I’m the one who’s going to have to make a move, then. Only I don’t have the first clue how to go about it. While Marcus is occupied cleaning cooking utensils, I sneak inside the concrete house and push the sleeping mats together. I hope he gets the hint. I hold my hand to my mouth to check my breath. I should brush my teeth. The rest of me could do with freshening up too. I take from my pack a toiletry bag and a large wash cloth that doubles as a towel and pad out to the lake. Marcus has disappeared somewhere, maybe to find a tree a suitable distance away. He doesn’t like to pee too close to a water source. Dusk has fallen, but there’s still enough light to make out my surroundings. I set my things by the lake’s edge and remove my shoes and socks. I dip a toe in to test the water. It’s freezing. A sponge bath then. I brush my teeth and then remove my shirt to wash under my arms. But it’s hopelessly inadequate. I want to be clean all over. Hurriedly, I take off all my clothes, grab the bar of soap (eco-friendly, of course), and wade out far enough until the water is past my thighs. It’s the fastest bath I’ve ever had. Soap, rinse, get out. It’s not the cold so much that makes me rush, it’s the thought of Marcus coming across me naked. Which is really stupid, because I hope we both are by night’s end. But since there’s still no sight of him, I relax a little and take my time toweling myself dry. I forgot to bring something to change into and since I don’t want to put my dirty clothes back on, I bundle everything together and dash towards the house. I’ll put something on when I get inside. “Enjoy your dip?” asks Marcus. The logs in the fireplace have been lit and the small room flickers with light. He raises his eyebrows as he takes in my appearance. I’ve stopped dead at the entrance, clutching my bundle of boots, clothing and toiletry bag close to my body. I raise it higher to cover my breasts and then hastily lower it again when I realise I’ve exposed my crotch. What a disaster! “It was cold,” I stammer out. “Come by the fire and warm up then.”

He moves aside to make room for me. It does look inviting. He and the fire both, actually. I hesitate as to what I should do about my unclothed state. There’s nowhere to hide in this small, single-roomed house: no shadowy corner, no curtain or door. And it’s not like I can move without flashing my backside too. I hesitate for a few seconds, undecided, but then somewhat incongruously, a naked Johanna in an elevator comes to mind. What would Johanna do? She’d likely go stand naked by the fire as if it’s the most ordinary thing in the world. I recall that Marcus paid her no mind when she stripped in front of him. Female nakedness apparently doesn’t faze him. It’s no big deal then. He’s already seen everything anyway. And I do want to have sex with him. What message does it send if I can’t wait to cover up? So I decide to do something completely not myself. I drop my things in a corner and go to stand beside him in front of the fire. If it’s possible to blush all over, then I accomplish it. To ease the tension, I blurt out the first thing I think of. “I thought you said a fire in here would smoke us out.” That’s great, Katniss. Start an argument, why don’t you? You want to seduce him, not fight with him. “I was wrong,” he says mildly. “You know this place far better than I do. I should have taken my cue from you.” “Yes, you should. I mean should’ve. About the fire . . . and other things.” My eyes go to the sleeping mats, as close together as you can get them. Suddenly I have the jitters. It’s part excitement, part panic. What if he doesn’t want to have sex with me after all? I’m going to feel like the biggest fool. “I won’t make that mistake again.” He lays a hand against my back and trails it slowly downwards until it comes to rest on my hip. “Your skin feels hot. You shouldn’t stand so close.” I let out a nervous giggle. “I’m the girl on fire, remember? I love some heat.” Shit, I can’t believe I said that. It was so bad. “Where else you do like to feel hot?” The hand on my hip moves upwards, skimming my waist, and then over my ribs to cup my breast and lightly stroke the nipple. “Here?”

“Yeah,” I say weakly.

Desire puddles between my legs and I forget about being nervous. I just want him to keep doing what he’s doing.

He turns me towards him and both arms go around me. He dips his head to trail open kisses along the side of my neck. “Here?”

“Mm.” I clutch at his back to help me stay upright. My legs seem to have trouble supporting me.

“And here?” He takes each nipple in his mouth by turn, nibbling gently. And then he kisses me, slowly and sensuously like we all the time in the world.

“Bedroom,” I whisper into his ear. But before we take the half-dozen steps to our sleeping mats, there’s something I have to tell him.

“I haven’t done this before,” I confess. I don’t want him to think I do this kind of thing every day.

“I know.”

“How?” I pull back, prepared to be affronted. Was my seduction technique so bad? As far as he knows, Peeta and I had been lovers. We were going to have a baby!

He stops my mouth with another kiss. “I just do.”

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minoukatze · 6 years

Text

Homecoming

Chapter Fifteen

Victor exited the chapterhouse, a crew of witch hunters following behind to relieve the ones guarding in the woods. The market having been cleared of most people, Victor could see Walburga leaning over her stall, having a leisurely conversation with Sienna. Oh holy hell… Victor considered stealth, hiding in the shadows of a nearby building behind to eavesdrop, but he knew that if Sienna caught him he would never hear the end of it. He charged over, Walburga’s eyebrows raising at the sight of him.

“I suppose you’ve been filling the baker’s ears with all sorts of impropriety and filth about me,” Victor grumbled at Sienna as he approached.

“Believe it or not, Victor, the world doesn’t begin and end with you,” Sienna replied tartly. “Besides, you would actually have to do something interesting for me to tell some truly fun stories…”

“She was actually telling me all about Tilea,” Walburga explained, a wistful cast to those river-kissed eyes. “It sounds so dangerous and exotic…”

“And full of vipers and poisoners,” Sienna finished for her. “I keep trying to impart that it was not a pleasant place to be!”

“But the food!” Walburga enthused. “Every once in a while we get a merchant through who carries cinnamon, saffron, cardamom…I spend all my coin on it, and it’s worth it. One whiff, and I am transported…”

“Yes, the food was decent, but it was awful!” Sienna replied heatedly.

“Awful and exciting, though!” Walburga replied, leaning her chin upon her hand. “Here, it’s just…awful.”

“Trust me when I tell you that ‘exciting’ in our realm tends toward ‘nightmarish’ rather than ‘enchanting,’” Victor added. “Relative safety is a value beyond measure.”

“Much as I hate to agree with this one, he’s right,” Sienna agreed. “The things we’ve seen would curl your hair right up…well, more so, anyway.”

“But it’s not always terrible, is it?” Walburga asked Sienna. “I mean, you’re a woman on your own, free to go anywhere, do anything, beholden to no one…”

“Not entirely true,” Sienna corrected. “Need I remind you of how Victor made my acquaintance?”

“Fair enough, but it worked out, didn’t it?” Walburga continued. “Anyway, would you trade in that life for a nice, quiet existence; doing the same thing day-in, day-out?”

“Oh god, I’d kill myself,” Sienna blurted, and Walburga flinched as if slapped. The wizard immediately tried to backtrack, uncharacteristically stumbling over her words. “I mean, it’s not a bad life at all, and, honestly, I envy those who can have a regular life and as Victor said, it’s a damn good thing these days...”

“Set down the shovel, Sienna,” Victor muttered to the witch.

“Mmmm…” Walburga nodded distantly, trying and failing to return the cheer to her voice. “I haven’t given you your treat yet, have I?”

“Treat?” Sienna asked.

The baker slipped back inside for a few moments. She returned with a small sniffle and a bag brimming with light, fragrant biscuits. “That merchant I mentioned gave me this recipe. Don’t know if I did it right, but hopefully you’ll enjoy it.”

“Lady, what is this for?” Sienna asked, stunned.

“For your stories,” Walburga replied quietly. “I know you’re busy, but you’ve been taking time from your days to talk to me, and I truly appreciate it.”

“I…I…” Sienna stared at the bag dumbly. “I don’t know what to say…”

“You say ‘thank you,’” Victor cut in. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, I need to speak with the baker privately.”

It was a prime moment for Sienna to toss out some lewd innuendo or lascivious suggestion, but the wizard was too overwhelmed by the gift to seize it. Victor briskly ushered Walburga inside before Sienna could recover.

“So,” Walburga asked, subdued and hesitant. “What did you need from me?”

“I noticed a disgustingly ostentatious carriage barreling through town..”

“Ah yes,” Walburga replied. “The kids are home. Blasted coach nearly ran down my neighbor’s daughter. Never good when that lot are at large here.”

“Can you give me information about them? Any reason why they would be visiting now in particular?” Victor asked.

“Hard to say.” Walburga began pummeling a lump of dough. “They won’t be arriving out of nostalgia for Senden or dear old Papa, I’ll tell you that for nothing. And it’s rare that they all arrive together, they hate each other.” Walburga paused. “Yes, come to think of it, it is really strange. I definitely don’t envy the Falkenrath staff tonight.”

She sprinkled a handful of flour upon the board and began to flatten the dough with a pin. “So, there’s Gilbert Jr., or ‘Gilly.’” Walburga shuddered in revulsion. “A copy of his foul father in basically every way. Girl show up in a family way? Weren’t him, and if you keep talkin’ your house might get burnt. Someone get drunk with his mates and piss in the well? At least we’d get a new well, and one of the mates gets paid to take the fall. Bastard loved to drive sheep into the lake outside of town and laugh while they drowned. Papa paid for the new sheep, at least. Can only imagine what he’s getting up to in Carroburg.”

The world won’t miss that one, Victor thought.

“The lanky blond is Axel, bitterness incarnate,” Walburga continued. “He thinks he should be the heir to…whatever the hell business it is they do. Smarter and less awful on the surface than Gilly, but there’s something ‘bout him that ices my blood. Back in 2505, the miller’s little girl went missing. Never found. But my friend Franka swears the last time she saw the little mite, kid was toddling off hand-in-hand with Axel. Can’t say nothing, of course. Who would listen? Few years later, same thing with the tanner’s girl. Disappeared one day, never found. Few years later, another little one, again, no one knows for sure.” Walburga whacked the dough with the pin so hard Victor feared the board would crack. “Reminds me, I’ll need to take Oswald and his aside and tell them to steer clear. Think he knows, but still.”

Victor was practically salivating at the prospect of interrogating Axel. I’ll make that last for days…weeks, perhaps…

“Finally, Gretchen, the jewel, apple of daddy’s eye, fucking queen of Senden.” Walburga paused, suddenly looking very tired. “She likes your new puppy? It’s Gretchen’s puppy now. Never mind the poor thing starves when she forgets to feed it after a week. She likes your hair? Oh, daddy will compensate you for when it’s shorn for her new wig. You don’t get to refuse.” Walburga unconsciously tugged at a stray tendril. “Whatever Gretchen wants, Gretchen gets. Except Oswald. Chit decided that she wanted to dally with my boy, but he rebuffed her. She vowed to bring down fire and brimstone, and the only thing that saved us was Gilbert’s knowing his parentage. It was surprising to find that even he has limits.” Walburga pondered a moment. “I think that’s the only time she ever heard the word ‘no.’ From what I gather, she married some high-up official in Altdorf.”

Walburga gave up all pretense of rolling the dough and turned to regard Victor straight on. The dim light of the kitchen deepened the shadows under her eyes, and she swayed on her feet, clutching the cutting board for balance. Victor reached out to steady her, but she raised a forbidding hand, shaking her head.

“You’re exhausted,” he said.

“Well spotted,” Walburga replied dryly. “This complicates things, doesn’t it? The extra connections, the extra players?”

“Complicates?” A wicked laugh brewed in Victor’s throat, grew, escaped his mouth as a sharp cackle. “Walburga, my dear, this only simplifies things. Hunting these creatures in their home territory would have taken weeks, if not months. Now? They are consolidated, clustered, vulnerable. Isolated from their city contacts. I can excise this infection all at once.”

Walburga gazed at him in weary disbelief. “I’m so tired, Victor. Most of the time I can pretend things are all right, but sometimes…I just get so bloody tired.”

Victor had the oddest urge to enfold her into his arms, let her rest for a moment, her face still upon his breast. Odd, as empathy was not something that came naturally to him, a disease to which he’d considered himself immune. Yet, here it was, tagging along with that wretched sadness. His arm twitched…

He was rescued by Karin calling for ‘Miss Burga.’ Walburga snapped out of her pall, straightened up, and forced a smile.

“Gerta should be by tomorrow,” Walburga told Victor as she made her way for the door. “She usually comes by around noon, so any time after that should work.”

She paused at the threshold, pressing her forehead to the door.

“God, the poor thing, having to deal with the whole motley crew,” Walburga breathed. “Shallya bless her. Victor…”

She looked up, her eyes bright.

“I hope you work quickly.”

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14735631/chapters/34905911

#Vermintide #victor saltzpyre #sienna fuegonasus #warhammer fantasy #fanfiction #fanfic #homecoming

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