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stranger-rants · 1 year

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(3) I'm not saying that fans have to like Nancy, if she's someone they don't relate to its fine. I even agree that she is now the epitome of young white feminism, entitlement, her family republican support roots and middle class privilege. I do agree it was assholeish of her on how she treated Jonathan (while i still understand her anger towards Tom Holloway and the sexist, hostile and creepy old coworkers) she should have said sorry to him just like he apologized to her, the fact that she can't make girl friends her age besides Barb, how she treated Robin in S4 that was harsh at moments and unconsiderate i could go on..

(4) She can definitely be still up to be questioned and the talks on why the whole girlboss rep that the Duffers swear they bring but fails miserably every time. I need to add that Steve himself should also get the same exact treatment in this case. But none of his fan favorite cult sees that because he said sorry, changed for better and they all bought into his so called "character arc" which is not even a good one or not even there, they even bought the whole mediocrity of him being a "gay ally" (this even comes from me as a fanom bisexual Steve truther). It's so weird to me how he's always treated as such a catch with all this people being like "Nancy doesn't deserve Steve this and that" but maybe that there is also just me as well...

5, Last one i promise) but this whole anti and villain narrative treatment she gets from the fandom in which she does not deserve any single chance of nuances, a proper arc, her being seen or listened, chances to redeem herself and make up for her wrongdoings. The fact that they go far to literally laugh at her privacy and autonomy being technically ripped, exposed and violated, so far to the point she should be punished for her friend's death just because she had sex well, this people so give the vibe of the individuals you would never trust to openly talk about your SA/harassment/abuse situations to. Says a lot of little concerning vibes, that are just as low and bad as the anti Billy behaviour we've got to see from time to time. I do comprehend none of these characters are real but there's that; makes me cringe how this has just increased in Womens rights month and the fact these things are coming from mostly women, which is kinda sad.

I'll end my point saying that yeah, it speaks volumes.

I will say this about what female characters are owed in fandom and that’s the same level of complexity we grant to male characters. That’s what I think any character who represents a marginalized group is owed, and yes it can be frustrating when you’re not given that. It is concerning to see people buy into the Nice Guy trope and the rape culture surrounding young people, especially women and girls. It’s okay to be upset by that, even if the characters aren’t real, and to call it out as such. I personally think that Steve and Nancy are bad for each other because neither of their goals and ideals line up. That doesn’t mean Nancy is The Problem, of course. In fact, I’m tired of talking about her in relation to Steve and vice versa.

I do think this fandom’s treatment of female characters like Nancy can be hypocritical compared to their uncritical adoration of Steve who is really just some guy with a lot of money, but at the same time the way she is positioned as a gun toting “badass” young woman who gets empowering speeches from her Thatcher-loving predator of a mother is what makes her character off-putting to queer fans, many who are gay and/or trans and who’ve spoken up about how aggravating that is. It’s not just women who are critical of her character, and while you’ve already acknowledged these issues I do want to make a distinction between hate posts made by misogynists and criticisms given by people hurt by the glorified politics surrounding the Wheeler family. I know people argue that their children aren’t conservatives by association, and I get that but The Duffers don’t say or do anything meaningful to subvert or deny that.

As a character, the best thing for her would be to branch out and experience new things but she stagnates like Steve because The Duffers don’t let them grow beyond The Girlboss and The Babysitter roles they’ve designated them with. That can also lead to some of the hate she receives, but that’s a writing problem and not something that is inherently wrong with a teenage girl not having all the tools and the knowledge to make the right decisions 100% of the time… which… why should we be expecting that out of anyone anyway.

#asks #long post cw

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letrashbag · 9 months

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Alright, I've been looking at all the queer crap, so Imma rant about that today. (I also accidentally reblogged a Nimona post on here instead trashlikesmedia so oops, but you can see where I started.)

Labels suck but I need them so there. I consider myself asexual, I came to this conclusion last summer. I've never been in a relationship, never really had any crushes. I always joked about how I had a crush on this guy in like 3rd grade and he liked my best friend (who I didn't actually like but that's a different story), and I've never loved since, but like it's true. I haven't. I always had this idea that I just hadn't met someone worth crushing on. I would ask people how they got into relationships and they'd always be like "just be yourself, one day the right guy will come along and it'll all work out" which was not helpful at all. My younger sibling is queer and they kind of introduced me to a lot of different identities and ideas, and it just kind of grew from there. It all started with me acknowledging the fact that I didn't want to sleep with women, and I felt the same way about women as I do about men, so I'm bi? pan? ace? It took a while to get comfortable with it, but now I'm here confidently ace.

Then the romantic side of things got tough. I've been on exactly one date (it was terrible, I did not like the guy and he did not put in a lot of effort and it was so uncomfortable), and I've only ever really had one crush on a guy and it was such a weird experience, that I couldn't figure out what was going on. (that was actually last summer and part of me realizing I was ace was being excited to hang out and talk with him but physically recoiling when I even thought about kissing him), so romance was not my thing. I do identify as aromantic, because it's the label that most closely matches my feelings and experiences, but I still feel like it's not right. I don't know if it's because I genuinely am alloromantic, or because I so desperately crave romance.

The big deal of it all is that I grew up in a not great family environment. My parents hate each other, especially my mom to my dad. They have been outwardly antagonistic towards each other for as long as I can remember. (I think the only reason they haven't gotten divorced is because it would be too expensive and my mom doesn't want to lose my dad's paycheck.) That contrasted really sharply with all the romance I would read about and see in movies and stuff. I'm a big reader and I have always loved romance. So I grew up with this reality of a terrible relationship and a fantasy of a perfect romance. I constantly worried that I would either settle for a terrible relationship because I thought that was realistic or end up alone because nothing matched my standards. Now, I don't know if my aromantic feelings are just because I'm scared of relationships and all of that nonsense or if I'm just genuinely not attracted to people. It keeps me up at night. At the end of the day, I just vibe and hope that everything works out.

In regards to gender, boy howdy do I have feelings. Cause like, gender isn't real, it's a social and cultural concept that people cling to because they like order. This is not invalidating trans people, gender and body dysmorphia is a very real thing and associating your identity, experiences, and sense of self with a gender and/or sex is normal, whether it aligns with your gender assigned at birth or not. My sentiment is more about the way society views gender as 1) a binary that aligns perfectly with sex and 2) an inflexible and constant pillar of identity that comes before any other identifiers. This is where I got beef. At the end of the day, your personal experience of gender is just that, personal. It's a part of who you are, but it's also influenced heavily by the way society views gender and gender norms, that's inevitable. My personal feelings are just complicated. I identify as a woman and use she/her pronouns because it's easy, not because I feel particularly aligned with the female gender. I'm not uncomfortable being perceived as a woman, but I also just don't care. Gender just isn't something that I consider important to my identity. I am me, I love these things, I do these things, these are my opinions. Y'know? (It probably doesn't help that my sense of self is also just wack, but whatever.) Something that I am uncomfortable with is being viewed as a woman before being viewed as a person. I have always called myself an actor, not an actress. Cause what's an actor? Someone who acts. What's an actress? A woman who acts. Why should part of my identifier clarify that I am a woman? That just doesn't make any sense to me. This view is rooted in my feminist ideals as well, as I've always been an advocate of getting rid of gendered job titles, seeing as the masculine form is almost always the default. However, I can't help but correlate the feelings. I just want to be a person, not a woman. Most of my hesitation in reaching out to and looking into the genderqueer community is just imposter syndrome probably. I don't care about being a woman, I don't feel gender dysphoria, people on the street probably aren't going to hate crime me for not aligning myself with a binary gender, so why should I try to claim any of this. Maybe it's just me making up excuses and pretending to be queer so I can feel cool or special. Maybe all the queerphobes are right and I am pretending to aroace and nonbinary so I can fit in with all the cool kids without actually having to date a woman and transition. I know that's a messed up view. Everyone's experience with gender and sexuality is extremely unique and no one will fit into a single box. I'm allowed to have these feelings without hating myself. It's just hard and scary. But c'est la vie.

On a lighter note, I love the asexual pride flag, it's so pretty, and I love the aromantic pride flag, it is also very pretty. But the aroace flag isn't that great. The colors just don't itch my brain the way the asexual and aromantic flags do individually y'know?

Long post, but I got's lots of feelings. I'm sure I'll make a bunch of posts about queerness, it do be a thing, but this was a good way to get my base feelings just out there.

#lgbtqia+#queer #aroace #asexual #aromantic #genderqueer #confusions #i don't know man I'm trying #this is why I like Nimona so much #“But I'm not a girl...I'm a shark.”

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