#and i was like no kaitlynn that is not going to be the fucking answer again i’m sick of u shutting me down u need to figure it out bc i am

[ahomeboylives]

once again i give answers that are too long

thank you @likealionpaw for the tag<3

Name: kaitlynn

Star sign: scorpio/sag cusp I GUESS!

Hogwarts House: dont care anymore tbh so skip

Height: dont quote me but 5′5? 5’4.5??

Favorite Animal: manatee and octopus and cat and flamingo

Dogs or Cats: cats<3

When you made your blog: march 2011 u_u

Why you made your blog: i dont remember probably my polyvore friends

Reason for your URL: no comment (fob)

What am I wearing: layers!!! visible ones include b&w gingham leggings under a long dress and a black crewneck sweater plus houseplant socks 

Dream Vacation: uhhh big dream: ireland or scotland, new zealand, etc. but realistically post-pandemic i think just to another state that i havent been to! ideally w/ friends i want to meet near to the area but if not then just a trip by myself to be with myself!

Instruments: i played flute in the middle school band and self-taught guitar... someday i might learn other ones???

Celebrity Crushes: umm idk these days????? but my go to answer is: hayley williams

Random Facts: oh god i do not know. uhhh.......... i hate phonetics. like literally fuck the science of spoken language sounds! I dont understand it i do not want to understand it i just care about sign language please let me be to think about sign language phonology

Do you think aliens are real: duh but not in a way that claims anything beyond ‘there are definitely other organisms in the galaxies’

What’s your guilty pleasure: talking about myself

Tattoos: none yet

Any phobias: not formally a phobia but i am terrified of being in a vehicle of any kind w/o a seatbelt.  

Do you talk to yourself: yes ofc

What movie do you adore: so many lol but most definitely top is spider-man: into the spider-verse and the lizzie mcguire movie

The first thing that you remember you wanted to be when you grew up: mermaid artist/art teacher

i’ll tag umm @torsamors @rejectscanon @valinorbound and other mutuals that like tag games ♥️

#UM also if you like being tagged lmk bc i dont know who does unless they’ve tagged me too! 🧐 and sometimes i dont remember lol #tag games #kaitlynn talks too much about herself yet again <3 #hmm idk its fun to talk about myself #self indulgent long post

[purplesurveys]

594

How are you today? I’m doing okay. My classmates in my least favorite class, Newspaper Layout and Design, have been a big pain in my ass and I’ve been carrying the entire class on my back because no one has the initiative to start giving a fuck about the requirements (I’d want to not give a fuck either, but someone has to and I’m probably the most grade-conscious person in that class) – but it’s a Friday and I’m having amazing coffee right now so it balances out. Do you have mean comments that replay in your head and haunt you? Not really. Some days I’ll remember the one hate comment I got on my ask.fm which led me to delete my account altogether, but it doesn’t bother me because I kinda proved that person wrong eventually.

For context, they told me I should stop wishing to be in UP so bad and to actually pass the entrance exam first before I’m allowed to talk about how much the university means to me. Joke’s on them – I passed the UPCAT not long after. Doesn’t mean I’d forgot the demotivating message, though.

^If so, do you know why that is? I always want to please people and thrive on compliments, so I’m bound to remember every single bad thing anyone tells me. What are you currently worried about, if anything? I’m worried about my deadlines for my Layout class. The requirements are a group effort, and so long as my classmates don’t start moving, I can’t really pass my parts anyway because I have to wait on them. UGH Did you go Black Friday shopping this past Black Friday? Pls stop asking me first-world references

^If so, what was the best deal you got? Have you ever been Black Friday shopping? What is your favorite Thanksgiving food? Do you wear a watch every day? No. Wearing them always makes me feel like there is something on my wrist, and that bugs me haha.

Pineapple or pepperoni? I don’t like either. All-cheese pizzas are my favorite. What food makes you feel nauseous? Not to say that it makes me feel like vomiting or dizzy, but I was never really a big fan of blue cheese. I can handle it on my pizza and sometimes its flavor jibes well with the other cheeses, but the taste always sticks out so I’m not particularly obsessed with it. Have you ever seen a spirit? No. When you have your own house someday, what color Christmas tree do you want and how will you decorate it? I want it traditional, so I’m going with green. It’s gonna have all sorts of decor like baubles, snowflakes, tinsel, leaves, etc. My family has always made an effort to make our trees look super nice and detailed and I wanna pass that on when I have my own place and maybe even kids down the road. Name 3 youtube channels you've been loving lately. HiHo Kids, Mankalor, and Moon Jeongwon’s vlogging channel. Do you have a youtube channel? I do but it’s only so that YouTube can tailor my homepage to what I’m into at the moment, and so that I can like/dislike videos haha. I don’t post my own content. ^If so, does your family approve? ...I don’t think they should have an opinion about me owning a YouTube account. But in any case, they don’t really mind. What do you think about the new "for kids" or "not for kids" rules? Like, parental control? I guess it’s a good thing. Kids have always had very makulit hands and end up seeing stuff they’re not supposed to. Makulit is a Filipino word that defies translation, but I guess the closest thing to it is either mischievous or restless.

Case in point: Back when I was in high school, I was working at one of the library computers when these Grade 1 kids sat at the computer beside me. They were searching images of the movie Frozen and it was all normal for a bit, but they scrolled too far down and eventually they landed at this very questionable manip of Elsa and Anna doing some stuff that kids that age definitely shouldn’t be seeing. ^ Do they affect you? No. I’m neither a kid nor a parent. What is the most disgusting thing you have ever eaten? [slight trigger warning for the vegans!!! Sorry, Filipino cuisine can sometimes be a lot to take for non-Filipinos]  I’m super adventurous when it comes to food so I haven’t found anything I’ve tried disgusting. I don’t particularly like the flavor of bopis (pork/beef lungs and heart) and pinapaitan (goat and ox innards meat flavored with bile, tamarind and chillies), but I don’t find them disgusting, and I’d still eat them if that was served at a family party.

What food is so disgusting you could absolutely never eat it? Dog/cat meat. Do you like sushi? Love sushi. What color was the last sweater you wore? Gray. Name 3 material items on your wish list right now. Nintendo Switch, a new pair of shoes (wow I really am a grown-up), and cash. Are you planning on doing Vlogmas (for youtube) this year? No. Zoella’s the only person I know who still does lmao Have you ever done Vlogmas before? No. Have you ever made money off of youtube? Omg no Are you happy that the year is coming to an end? SO HAPPY. 2019 felt like it was three fucking years long. Have you ever bought a designer purse? I haven’t bought any with my own money. Do people tell you that you look sick when you wear a certain color? No? ^If yes, what color? Do you consider yourself creative? Not at all. ....outgoing? Kinda. It depends on the situation. If I’m meant to be doing something I like or hang out with people I know, I can be very outgoing; but if it’s an unfamiliar situation, I tend to be more shy and let other people lead the way. ....free-spirited? I don’t think I’d call myself that. ....shy? Yep, at first. ....socially awkward? It’s a hit or miss. Sometimes I’m great with socializing; other times I just miss the mark. Do you often feel alone? Mostly during the Christmas season. Otherwise it’s an on-off thing for me, but the loneliness is for the most part turned off. What could be the theme song to your life? I never know what to answer in questions like this. My life has had a lot of phases and it’s hard to sum it all up into a single song. List three new songs you've discovered this year that you like a lot. I Saw You In A Dream by The Japanese House, the Summer section of Vivaldi’s The Four Seasons (thanks, Portrait of a Lady on Fire), and Joji’s Dancing in the Dark. If you could win a shopping spree in any store, what would it be? Fully Booked. Do you wear jewelry often? Very seldom. List 10 of your favorite girl names. I list them on surveys all the tiiiiiimeeeeeeeee. Uhh Olivia, Mia, Arden, Harper, Juliana/Julia, Isabella, Elizabeth, Charlotte, Lily, Emilia. I’m feeling the name Eloise tonight too, so let’s throw that one in as a runner-up. List 10 of your favorite boy names. Miguel, Joaquin, Javier, Jacob, Mason, Noah, Liam, Seth, Leon, Luis. Andres is also good, so I’m putting that in even though it’s name 11. List 10 girl names (or up to 10) that you don't really care for. That’s so many and possibly offensive :((((( I’ll just go with boomer names like Sally, Linda, Agnes (sorry to my Lola, who’s named Agnes), Karen, Pamela, Susan, Brenda...and maybe more common ones like Angela, Marie, Sam. List up to 10 boy names that you don't really care for. Not a big fan of boy names in general, but ones I don’t particularly like nor dislike are names like John, George, William (lmao just naming all the royals now I see LOL), Benedict, Jeffrey, Donald, Michael, Daniel, Drew, Mark. How old were you when you found out Santa wasn't real? Five. I didn’t find out; I just put the clues together. Do you own a Polaroid camera? Nope. I want one though. ^If so, what color is it? List one past regret. The one dumb thing I did in one of my classes where I forgot to submit something on time, and I had to make do with a late submission, which would already have deductions. Do you own Converse, and if so, what color? i used to; they were red. I stopped wearing them after a bit though so my mom threw them out. We have white Chucks now – my sister brings them with her in her dorm but when she’s home, I’d borrow it sometimes. What color was your senior prom dress? Let’s plz avoid talking about the stuff we purposely want to forget Are you colorblind? No. Name the people you know who are colorblind. Nobody, other than the colorblind folk on Twitter/Tiktok who make wholesome videos separating different colors of Skittles or M&Ms heh. What's one pet peeve of yours? People who DRIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF TWO LANES YO WHAT’S UP WITH Y’ALL Would you ever consider a career in writing? Sure, I’m kinda headed that way anyway. What was the first thing you wanted to be when you grew up? Astronaut. What was your first favorite color? Purple. What is your favorite color now? Pink or black. Do you know a lot of people with the same middle name as you? Yeah, Isabelle is very common. But where I live it’s usually spelled Isabel or Ysabel. Do you like the name Brynn? Not really. It sounds very 2010ish, wherein people would give their kids double-N’s like Kaitlynn, Rylinn, Brooklynn, Ashlynn and I was never a big fan of that trend (except for Finn, Flynn, and Quinn, which I find cute). List five names you hate the spelling of. Literally those 4 names I just mentioned. Oh and in the Philippines, there’s this trend of putting H’s on otherwise normal names, e.g. Jhulia, Mhae, Ghabriella, Mhark...it’s common in the lower classes so I don’t judge, but like it’s just not really not my taste lmao. Do you watch Niki and Gabi on youtube? No. Do you watch Brooklyn and Bailey? No. ....Bethany Mota? No. But I did see her once when YouTube held a FanFest here in Manila and she was part of the lineup. ......Gillian Bower? ....LaurDIY? .....Family Fizz? ....Chronically Jaquie? No to literally all of those. Have you ever purchased a youtuber's merch? No they are always way too expensive lol ^If so, what did you buy?

#survey #surveys

[sapphickwritesarchive]

Tagged By: @tinydoesrp

Tagging: @japvnesedenim , @blxckbirds , @valarmorghulis--valardohaeris , @stxrroving , @renegaydewrites (if you ever get back on bitch i miss rping with you) 

Rules: Answer the twenty questions and then tag twenty people you want to get to know better!

Name: Kaitlynn

Zodiac Sign: Aquarius

Height: 5′7″

Languages Spoken: English and Cat 

Nationality: American

Favourite Fruit: Yes all of the above. I love all fruit and can’t decide. Don’t fucking make me!!!!!!!! Blueberries & Watermelon maybe tho 

Favourite Scent: Cherry Blossom

Favourite Colour: Black

Favourite Animal: Orcas, cats, great white sharks, dogs, big cats (like cheetahs and lions and jaguars and such), dragons (i have a tattoo!!), and lizards

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate: Tea

Favourite Fictional Character(s):  my characters and your characters. Jim Halpert, Han Solo, Leia Organa, Finn, Rey, Padme Amidala, Ben Wyatt, Tom Haverford, Indiana Jones, Raven (Teen Titans), Roy Harper (DC), and uhh idk that’s all I’ve got right now y’all

Dream Trip: Machu Picchu because I’m going to go there and then die. That’s the goal. I specifically study the Andes and I just... wanna die there. 

When Was Your Blog Created: October 2017. Thought it had been longer tbh. I was on my old blog comfortablynumbs from July 2016 and I moved here because I was stressed 

Last Movie Seen: Cabin Fever. The new one with Matt D. It was bad. 

Songs You’ve Had On Repeat: yeah all of them. But more specifically, Twilight Zone by Golden Earring, Africa by Toto, The Show Must Go On by Queen, Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen, Dazed and Confused by Led Zeppelin, Samba Pa Ti by Santana, Smooth by Santana, and every song by Hozier

Song One: Better Love by Hozier (aka my url is a song lyric from this one) 

Song Two: Fire by Jimi Hendrix

Song Three:  The Show Must Go On by Queen

Favourite Candy: KitKat

Favourite Holiday: Halloween 

#about kaitlynn

[theboatbuilderswife]

 @miindofeli asked:  nano prompt: Jill & Helga with the twins.

verse: || au: 𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝓌𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝓉𝑒𝒸𝓉 𝓂𝑒 𝓌��𝓉𝒽 𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒  ( vampire academy ) word count: 1.703

It was actually really endearing to see the two little toddlers stumble into the shop behind their mother. And for a moment all Helga could do was leaning forward over the counter with a small grin on her lips waiting for them to reach her.

❝ Look at them- ❞  the blonde laughed, her chin resting in the palm of her hand as she cast her somewhat envious gaze up at Jill.  ❝ No stroller? They both really seem determined to keep walking today. ❞ Or well, for a few minutes at least. Behind her mother Kaitlynn already decided to give up on her little adventure as she moved herself to sit down on the floor, big eyes cast up.

❝ It’s outside, but they were both a little restless. ❞  Jill quickly explained, watching how Helga left her spot behind the counter to join them in front of it. The blonde dropped herself to her knees, smiling widely as she pulled Cameron close and kissed his cheek, trying to do the same with Kaitlynn even though the small girl was trying to push her away with her little arms swinging in front of her and the most adorable giggle leaving her mouth.

❝ Good- give me a moment to close the shop. All orders have already been shipped out for today, so I don’t expect anyone else to come in anymore at this hour, ❞  finishing her sentence with a soft groan Helga tried pushing herself back up, pulling a face when when her friend cast a teasing grin in her direction.

❝ It’s been busy okay, ❞  Helga exclaimed, moving to the back of the small flower shop to get her bag and lock the doors there.  ❝ which is a good thing, but still, they can not expect me to sit here twelve hours a day just to create every fucking single bouquet here in court for seven days a week. ❞

Jill cast a judging glance in her direction, to which Helga gave a small frown in return until she realized what she’d just said and her mouth was formed into a small  ❝ oh … ❞ , a quick apology following, not really having realized she had let her words slip and cursed in front of the twins.

Lifting Cameron up in her arms the blonde plucked a small flower to tuck it into the boy’s dark hair right behind his ear, receiving some protest in return, but a little magic was more than enough to silence him as she made it grow into a small flower crown.

❝ Little prince, ❞  she chuckled, following Jill outside before she turned off the lights and closed the door behind her, smiling as she looked up. It had been her dream to open up a shop ever since she was small. That she would have ended up with a little flower shop at court was probably not exactly what she had expected to happen, but she was proud of it and the steps she had dared to make the past few years nonetheless.

A lot had happened during the past few years. Perhaps it was good that things finally seemed to have calmed down a little again, at least for now.

After placing the little boy back into the stroller next to his sister Helga plucked her phone from her bag, quickly writing a small text to let Varga know she would be with Jill and that he could make himself something to eat, or join them later if he wanted to.

He always seemed a little too worried, even with them now living together in a modest home here at court; a place where personal Guardians were a little less necessary than than they were outside the gates. Still, he would always make sure she was okay, no matter where she was.

❝ Where do you want to go? Don’t they need to eat something? ❞  putting her phone back in her bag Helga joined Jill while trying to keep up with her friend pushing the stroller forwards, listening to the toddlers happily trying to communicate with each other.

❝ They ate before we decided to save you from work, ❞  Jill laughed, her words earning an actual grateful look from Helga in return.

❝ You really have no idea how tired I am. Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn’t hire someone to help me, but it’s all so extremely expensive. ❞

❝ It might give you some free time, and you really don’t have to hire someone full-time, right? One or two days is perhaps all it takes for you to get things back on track again? ❞

The blonde sighed, but nodded, knowing her friend was right. It was something she was going to have to think over properly over the upcoming few weeks. With some of the important holidays around the corner it was probably a wise thing to consider some kind of help around. Magic was an amazing thing, but her powers were definitely not limitless.

❝ I should ask Lissa if she can do something to lower the rent or something, ❞  Helga concluded, her words accompanied by a soft chuckle.

They ended up at a small cafe, ordering a quick coffee, this time it being Kaitlynn Helga lifted up to sit on her knee, allowing the little girl to wrap her hand firmly around one of her fingers as she continued to babble.

❝ And If I would want to hire someone, where do I even look? I’d have to look for someone with earth magic like me, but they really have to have the same interest in flowers as me. You know how hard it is to sometimes watch people trying to do some gardening and completely ruin it just because they don’t have the feeling for it. ❞

Both she and Jill ended up chuckling softly when Kaitlynn seemed to want to mingle herself in the conversation by shrieking happily, pulling Helga’s finger as if she was trying to make some kind of statement.

❝ Perhaps have a few people who are interested come in and have them work for you for a few days unpaid, as if it is an internship and just choose after that? ❞  Jill suggested, still smiling widely as she caressed her daughter’s cheek the back of her fingers, only to have Cameron protesting in return; wanting his mother’s undivided attention this time.

❝ I guess that’s a good idea. Perhaps I can get some students as well, they’re usually more eager and willing than the old crows who walk around here, ❞  Helga whispered in response, having her dark eyes moving through the small place in hope that none of said ‘old crows’ sat close to overhear their conversation.

❝ I guess I just have to find someone with the same interests. Perhaps I should let them do a small assignment to see where their interests lie, and if it gets anything close to mine, or would I be too much of a nitpicker when I do that? ❞

Jill just laughed at her friend’s words, shaking her head in return.

❝ It’s your business, you can do with it whatever you want, you know that. As long as you try not to do anything stupid? Please? ❞

❝ When have I ever? ❞  Helga feigned a shocked gasp, taking little Kaitlynn’s hands, clapping them together in a gentle rhythm.  ❝ I’m not planning to, not at all, cross my heart. I’m serious when I say that I’m just going to get really busy in the next few months and I really don’t trust Var getting close to those flowers because for some reason he manages to let all plants at home die when I’m not there to save them. Heck, he even managed to make a small cactus die. ❞

Rolling her eyes the blonde tried to emphasize her words, making the situation look many times worse than it had been in reality.

Therefore it did not take long before the blonde sat there laughing again, having to free one of her hands to take her coffee and silence herself with the warm, bitter liquid; making sure the little girl could not reach it when she eagerly lifted her hands to grab the cup.

❝ No- I really enjoy doing all this, and I’m actually really happy business is booming. Even dad is proud of me, can you imagine? ❞

Helga smiled as she sat back, looking at her friend sitting in front of her who was happily coddling her son, totally having forgotten about her own coffee already as it seemed.

Oh yes, she had been very jealous of Jill when she came with the news that she was pregnant. If anyone deserved parenthood after everything they had been through it were she and Eddie, and they had ended up with two perfect little kids. Perhaps more than they had hoped for, but Helga had been extremely happy for them nonetheless.

And perhaps a little bit whiny towards Varga that same evening.

Could she imagine herself with a little family somewhere in the near future? Oh definitely. Even though it probably would take a lot of convincing, and perhaps she had to very carefully bring it up to her own parents because after all these years they still not seemed convinced of her relationship with her own Guardian.

❝ Hey, you’re lucky you know that. Not many can say they have achieved their childhood dream one way or another. It took you a while, but you’ve done it. That’s something you can really be proud of. Just talk to Varga for a bit about hiring a part-time employee? I’m sure he can give you a few tips? He knows you best after all, ❞  Jill said, looking up again after a little while.

❝ Yeah- about that … ❞

Jill cocked an eyebrow, shrugging her shoulders curiously when Helga seemed to hesitate giving her an answer.

❝ Well, there is another reason why I am considering hiring someone to help me out in the shop, ❞  Helga chuckled nervously, chewing her bottom lip for a moment, pulling Kaitlynn close.  ❝ You know- yes for Christmas and all that stuff because I know it will get busy, but it’s not only for that period, I’m actually thinking of hiring someone to help me out for a full year … ❞

❝ … I think I might be pregnant. ❞

#NaNoWriMo #vikings #vikings fanfic #vampire academy #|| au: 𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝓌𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝓉𝑒𝒸𝓉 𝓂𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒 ( vampire academy )

[stunt-lads]

this is going on my main, under a readmore, bc i feel like an explanation is in order for my followers + friends

u can ignore it if u want to, im just doing it in case anyone is curious as to what happened to cause my paranoia to be severe enough for me to delete posts

so, over the course of a this past weekend, my mother and i traveled 300 miles to go to my brothers. because hes getting a divorce and his ex-wife told him she couldnt watch their son on friday and the daycare place was closed (because of it being good friday)

anyway, we get down there and my brother told us, that if she showed up we didnt need to answer the door (turns out he lied to us, because since it was her weekend we had to hand him over to her) 

well, she showed up, after i made a vague post on here about us being there. 

my mother was heartbroken because she never gets to spend time with her son and grandson, not like she does with her daughter and 8 other grandkids, and she was looking forward to spending time with him while my brother was working. 

anyway, my paranoia was so severe after i made that post i had to delete it and a few others because i was so worried she was reading my blog, because this isnt the first time something like this has happened (btw, kaitlynn if ur reading this gfy u stalker bitch)

its sort of...not unexpected, i mean i saw this coming a mile away and i told my mother as such, but shes really optimistic and she didnt want to believe it. she wanted to believe things were going to be fine and she would consider moving in with/closer to my brother but now shes just hurt and upset and i dont fucking blame her.

my brother even said something about how he was glad his ex was finally spending time with her son, but tbh he used our mother to do it and thats bullshit.

anyway thats all, sorry for all the text, but like its just been stressful and i needed time to decompress? i guess? idk

#sess speaks #personal //

[dasolution-ns]

A Wrecking Mess

Part of the Hell Down Under series by Da Solution

A Miley Cyrus slam fic

Here I am somewhere in the outbacks, probably a few kilometres away from Newcastle, New South Wales, where I heard that Miley Cyrus was here. She seem to have a thing for Aussies. I don’t know why, they’re a bunch of tossing assholes, besides the Aborigines. Being the daughter of a redneck country singer, and the total whoring bi-slut that she is, she needs to be straightened out and that’s why I’m here.

I brought my wife, Maxine Brewer, former member of D.E.B.S,  with me since she wanted to get involved more and she also hates Miley with a passion. She also wanted to get to visit Australia again, saying that if Lucy Diamond, her arch-nemesis during her days of D.E.B.S, hates Australia, then it’s good for her. I hate Pussy Sapphire, I mean Lucy Diamond myself, enough to kill her and her partner  off.

It wasn’t too hard, but I spotted her at a retreat in the outbacks. Expectedly, it was guarded. Unexpectedly, it wasn’t heavily guarded. I was surprised that someone as famous as she was would have such a skeleton crew for security, but no complaints, that just made my job easier :-D. Thus, I would not require Team Solution for this, me and Maxine should be good enough.  

The place was a small, but inside was luxurious. I think it was an attempt for her to get “in touch with nature” and “in touch with herself.”  All that is really bullshit, because those people like Miley are so out of touch, they can never be like the common man, and she’s a bi-slut, so she’ll always be confused. However, I bet that bi-slut bitch sure loves to touch herself…  

As we were casing the area and planning our strategy to take out the guards, I saw Miley with her new sucker, I mean lover, Cody Simpson. They just came outside to sit and chill on their porch. Don’t worry, they’ll have an eternal chill when we get done with them.

“Look at that idiot. Grinning like he struck gold.” Maxine whispered. I chuckled, couldn’t laugh out loudly.

“Yeah, more like fool’s good.” I said. “The only thing that fool struck is some STD!” Now it was Maxine’s turn to laugh.  After we laugh, I told Maxine, “we got to find a way to get in there. There isn’t a lot of guards here, so we should be able to take them out one by one. Just get your knife ready, so we don’t make any noise.”

However, Maxine disagreed. “Nah, I ain’t takin’ that chance. I say bring the other three who are nearby. Just in case if one of the guards do call backup.”

“Good point.” So I text to my main man, Steelz. He told me that backup was coming.

When backup arrived, we went ahead with the plan. I was able to take out three of the guards, while Maxine was able to take out two.

We were able to enter the retreat without any problems, because the retreat’s security ain’t worth shit, and it worth even less shit since all the guards are dead. However, as soon as we got in, we couldn’t find them.

“Where the fuck did they go?” Maxine said.

“I dunno.” I replied. However, it didn’t take long as Rico and Rachel came back with Cody and Miley with them.

“Hey boss, we saw these two running about 200 metres from here, we caught them.” Rico said.

I smiled at Rico. “That for getting them. I knew you were the right guy for the job.” Rico just smiled and said his thanks. They left, and that left us with those two losers. I was pissed at them.

“Thinking you can run away from me like that, huh? Well, imma fuck your bi-slut ass up like what I did to Katie Hill and Afrika Bambaataa, Miley. And that goes for you as well, Cody.”

Cody stepped up to me and said, “I bet you aren’t as tough as you think you are. I’ll take you on. Just me and you. No one else. Neither Miley nor your woman can pitch in. Besides, you only got a few minutes, I already called the police.”

That made me furious. Maxine already knew what to do in that situation, and she text Team Solution for backup.

Cody Simpson wanted to take me on one-on-one, which I find weird considering he was trying to run away from me. Nevertheless, I had no problems with that. That’s how I prefer it. He’s brave, but stupid.

“Sure.” I simply answered.

Before he could even move his shoulder, I punched him right in the face. Then I gave him a few ribs shots followed by a stunning left jab across the face. He was down, but not out. At the same time, Maxine was beating the shit outta that bi-slut bitch Miley.

When I got to Miley, she was already bloodied and beating. My woman did a number on that flaky, attention-seeking whoring bitch!

“Good job, honey. Now let me take over. Go and watch for the cops, I think Team Solution might need your help.”

She smiled. “Sure.”

Now it’s my turn to have fun with Miley.  I noticed a glassed cabinet with her trophies and statues she have won. There were those of lesser prestigious awards, as the main ones are back in her home. The cabinet was locked, but I knew a way to get it to open… I smashed her face against the glass, and it shattered all over the place. I then proceed to grab every trophy, statue, plaque, whatever I can get my hands on in the cabinet and hit her with it.

I was about to do more to that sick-ass swing-set, Maxine came back. “There’s like 24 cop cars out there, and they’re planning to bring the ADF against you, since you’re consider a domestic terrorist. Oh shit, the Australian Defence Force is now involved, now we really need to get the fuck outta here! It’s one thing to bring in the cops, it’s another to bring in the armed forces!

With that in mind, I took out my gun and shot Cody a few times with my Glock 17. We made sure that Miley saw it by keeping her eyes wide open. Needless to say, she was devastated, and we were elated. We took Miley with us and narrowly escaped. That was a close call.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A few hours later, we were at an abandoned building in Sydney, New South Wales. I had Miley’s hands tied behind her, with her mouth covered up. She can be a mouthy bitch as that swing-set kept on bitching throughout the rid, so I had to shut her up. She also fought along the way, so Maxine gave her a punch to the stomach, and that worked, for she was much more cooperative after that.

We we got into a room. I had some of my “toys” out for me to use. It included The Rock, The Solution, and the Pinochet Machine, and a parrilla used for torturing. And those weren’t the only thing in the room.

“Kaitlynn Carter! What the fuck!?”

Yep, we kidnapped her ex Pussy-pal and fellow bi-slut bitch herself, Kaitlynn Carter. She too was tied up.

“You bloody biphobic bastards! You won’t get away with your gay, lesbian, and bi-bashing for long!” Kaitlynn screamed at me.

“Oh spare me with the drama, bi-slut bitch! You betta shut da fuck up before I do it myself.”

“No! I won’t ‘shut da fuck up!’ I will make my voice loud enough so that someone will hear me and save up. I will… SMASH!”

I hit her with The Rock, a slightly-larger hand-sized rock used to rock those who likes to rock the three colors (bisexual flag), like Ms. Bi-Slut Miley and Konfused Kaitlyn. Those rudy poo jabronis will get the smackdown of their lives.

I was smashing her with The Rock while telling her to shut da fuck up in a rhymatic pattern.

“SHUT-DA-FUCK-UP! SHUT-DA-FUCK-UP!”

Her face looked like a messed-up pizza ate by a drunk. Now it’s Miley’s turn to know her role with The Rock. With her, I did the same thing that I did with carpet-muncher Kaitlyn, however I changed the words.

“DIE-YOU-BI-SLUT! DIE-YOU-BI-SLUT!”

Her face too was a total mess, but then again, it always did.

“Now I can focus on giving you the Rock Bottom.”

So I took The Rock and slammed her to the ground with The Rock in her face. Now they know that my bi-bashing is quite different… and painful!

Now in order for the parrilla to work effectively, you got to “soften up” the victim, and there’s no other weapon that can soften victims any better than The Solution. The Solution is a modified cricket bat with a titanium core, perfect to straightening out those people. It has crossed-out flags of the gays and lesbians on one side, and crossed-out flags of bisexuals and transgenders on the other. It’s the only bi-slut I can tolerate, since it also “swings both ways.” So I introduced it first to Kaitlyn.

“This is for being an New Englander cunt! CRACK!” “And this is for eating Miley’s STD-infested pussy! CRACK! “And this is for being a bad actress. I saw your shit on that sorry-ass show, The Hills, and you suck horse’s dick among other things! CRACK!” “And this is for being a nasty, ugly, confused, bi-slut ho! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!”

Then I focused my attention to Miley.

“This is for being Billy Ray Cyrus’s daughter… CRACK!” “And this is for having your ugly face all over Disney… CRACK!” “And this is for showing your slutty, flat-as-an-ironboard body all over TV… CRACK! “And this is for your sorry-ass music! That’s right, your singing voice is as flat as your ass! CRACK!” “And of course, this is for being a nasty, poly-promiscuous, bi-slut bitch! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!”

After that, I smiled for they were now “soft” enough for the parrilla. I turned my attention to Maxine and asked her if the parrilla is ready, she nodded.

“I got the wires set up, and we do have enough juice to light up the block.”

“Good, I let you take care of Miley, while I take care of Kaitlynn.”

Maxine got excited. “Goodie! I get to torture Miley!” I couldn’t help but smile when I saw my wife’s excitement. I wanted to torture Miley, but I got to let my wife have some fun as well.

So we strapped the two beef-and-pork-eating bitches to the metal frame, strapped them tight and then attached the picana to their sensitive areas. In the case of both Miley and Kaitlynn, that would be their Hope-Solo-sized pussy lips, cause neither have boobs. The metal frame intensifies the shock, while burning their backs as well.

As soon as we powered up the picana, we tortured the shit out of those two pendulums. They were screaming for their deal lives.

“AAAHHHHHHH!” They said collectively. Now that’s music to my ears!

After two hours of so of torturing them, I decided I had enough, so there was one more thing left to do: cure them. As I was about to pull out my Glock 17, someone’s phone had Miley’s “Wrecking Ball” as their ring tune. Found out it was Miley’s. That gave me an idea.

Okay, there are two endings to this. I will show each of the ending and you decide which one is the best.

Ending #1

We went to another area of Sydney where they were destroying old buildings. There was a crane with a wrecking ball attached. I smiled when I saw it. I decided to attache Kaitlynn first, by welding metal pieces to her arms and legs onto the wrecking ball.  Then when I had enough speed and acceleration from the wrecking ball, I moved it so that it can hit the building, crushing Kaitlynn in the process.  

“NOOOOOOOOOOO!” Miley screamed as she watched her finger-friend crushed to death. It’s a bad day for her, as she watched two of her lovers die. It’s gonna get even worse for her because she’s next.

We attached her to the wrecking ball the same way we did for Kaitlynn. It didn’t help that blood and guts of Kaitlynn were still on the ball when we welded her onto it.

Afterwards, as I did with Kaitlynn, I got the wrecking ball swing fast enough so that when it did hit the building, she would die from it. As soon as I can, I aimed it to the building and Miley got flattened like an accordion. Funny enough, music from an accordion is more pleasing than her own.

Ending #2

The same building and the same crane as Example #1, however, this time Miley and Kaitlynn are attached to the building. They are about 5 metres apart. The building had already been partially wrecked, but there was about a 20 metre long wall of it remaining. That’s where we tied them up. I was gonna go and use the wrecking ball on them, but instead Maxine insisted that she does it. I smiled and let her take control.

She started from the edge of the wall, knocking it down, first from the left side, then from the right side. The wrecking ball was slowly creeping up to the degenerates as it kept on knocking out brick from the edged of the remaining wall. They were getting terrified as the wrecking ball was slowly coming to them. Maxine was torturing them and I liked it!

Eventually, the wall withered down to just 12 metres, and the bi-slut duo knew the end was coming for them. Maxine had the wrecking ball first aimed at Kaitlynn and she was smashed by it. Miley screamed in horror as she saw her smashed to pieces. However, we shouted in pleasure, as we finally got rid of Kaitlynn. Now it was Miley’s turn as Maxine aimed the wrecking ball right as Miley. She was done that instant.

Conclusion

Miley is dead, along with her ex and her stupid-ass boyfriend. All in all, me and Maxine are satisfied, and we took a short trip to a sparse area where they have the beach. Everything was fine, until we saw two Australian gay dudes holding hands. Without a hitch, I got out of my lounge chair and headed towards those two faggots. Looks like another situation to straighten out…

THE WRECKING END!

#miley cyrus #cody simpson #kaitlynn carter #da solution #slam fic #slam fiction #fan fiction #fan fic #rpf #rpf fanfic #celebrity fan fic #celebrity fan fiction #bi-sluts #bisexuals #biphopia #bi bashing #torture #death #the solution #the rock #hell down under

[belonginsolitude]

1-101 answers for that sweet anon

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? Well, a lot of things have me confused right now. But most of them are extremely personal and I am trying to cut back when it comes to posting super personal things online.

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? From time to time. But people are busy, so I’m not upset if I don’t.

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? Hell no. I’ve smoked before, sooooo.

4: Do you find it easy to trust others? No. Due to past relationships and the things that happened, I find it difficult to trust others at first.

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? I think I was doing homework.

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? Probably Ven (my best friend).

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? Well, because I have been I will answer with what I did. I cried my heart out. That lasted days.

8: Are you close with your dad? No. I don’t even know my father’s name.

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? Wrong. Very wrong.

10: What are you listening to? Angel by Shaggy.

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? Arizona green tea with honey and ginseng.

12: Do you like hickeys? Fuck. Yes. Gimme.

13: What time do you go to bed? Depends on what I’ve got going on the next day + what’s on my mind before bed.

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? Yes. We don’t talk anymore.

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? No. I almost always drop my phone when I try.

16: Do you always answer your texts? Yes and no. Sometimes I don’t answer right away.

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? No. Not one bit. She’s still my lovebug.

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? Today. Like a few hours ago.

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? Two. Ven and Kaitlynn.

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? Honestly I have a bad memory. So no clue.

21: Is anyone else in the room with you? Yep. My uncle and my cousin.

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? Of course. Karma is very real.

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? Yes and no.

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? That’s what we’re doing now.

25: In the past week, have you cried? I am a very emotional person. I cry when I’m happy, sad, angry - you name it and I’d probably cry about it.

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? Blue.

27: Do people ever call you by your last name? No. Thank God. Hell I rarely get called my first name. It’s usually a nickname.

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? Not that I know of.

29: Do you have a best friend? YES> Several. My bestest friends are (in no particular order) Ven, JJ, and Glenda.

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? No. Go ahead and kiss that asshole. XD

31: Who was your last call/text message from? My boo thang Glenda.

32: Are you mad at anyone? Shockingly no.

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? Most of my exes are older than me.

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? 21.

35: How many more days until your birthday? 13 and counting down.

36: Do you have any summer plans yet? Pride is today (06/24/17) and I’m going to the art muesum + Olive Garden for my birthday.

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? Ven is my bestest friend.

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? No. I try to tell them everything. But sometimes I do forget and end up telling them days after I’d originally planned to.

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? Yes.

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Never. Even if we’re no longer on good terms, I don’t regret things like kisses/sex/relationships/etc.

41: Do you think age matters in relationships? Sometimes. A few year age gap is okay. But, personally for me, I can’t date someone who’s too much older/younger than me. I definitely won’t date anyone under 18.

42: Are you available? Yes and no. While I am single, I only want my lovebug.

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? 1.

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? I’ve had multiple piercings. So hell yeah dude!

45: Do you believe exes can be friends? Sometimes. It all depends on the situation.

46: Do you regret anything? I try not to let myself regret too many things.

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? Me. How I’m feeling. Just thinking about bettering myself.

48: Did you ever lose a best friend? Yes. We’d been friends since 3rd/4th grade. We suddenly stopped talking a year or two ago.

49: Was your last kiss a mistake? Nah. I knew what I was doing. Would I kiss them again? No.

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? I am.

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? Yep.

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? Nope nope nope noooooooope.

53: What was the last thing you ate? Bread sticks I put cheese and salami in lmao.

54: Did you get any compliments today? Yep. And those people are total sweeties.

55: Where are you going on your next vacation? Idk. Don’t really have a vacay planned rn.

56: Do you own anything from other countries? Maybe? Honestly I have so much crap in my room, I don’t remeber when or where I got it.

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls? Girls.

58: Where have you lived most of your life? In Ohio. I’ve switched cities so often, none of them would count. So I’ll just say Ohio.

59: When was the last time you took a long drive? The other day. Drove with my aunt for a few hours.

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? Yeeeeep. I mean c'mon, it’s a stupid “middle school right of passage”!

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house? Nope. Shockingly, I was a fairly good kid.

62: Who do you text the most? Uhhhh it’s a toss up between Ven, Glenda, and Kaitlynn.

63: What was the last movie you saw? White Chicks I think.

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? I do not have a girlfriend at the moment.

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011? I didn’t have my first girlfriend until 2012. Sooooo 0.

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you? Nope. Older.

67: Do you curse around your parents? My mom finds it amusing.

68: Are you happy with where you live? Honestly? Yes.

69: Picture of yourself? I’ll post it seperatly.

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? Very monogamous.

71: Have you ever been dumped? Who hasn’t?

72: What do you most like about making out? OMG EVERYTHING. Her hands on my waiste, or in my hair. The feel of her lips or maybe even the soft and hesitant brush of her tongue against mine!! OH MY LOOOORD.

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with? Yep.

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? Well it depends. Sometimes I grow some balls and initiate things. Other times I’m too shy.. XD

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive? Eyes. A girl with pretty eyes can steal my heart in seconds.

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed? I think Glenda maybe???

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour? Nope. I can’t do that.

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name? Again nope. Kinda prefer knowing a girl’s name before I go down on her lol.

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face? Hugging her, Ed Sheeran, sappy love notes, art, recieving cute and thoughtful gifts.

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? It all depends on how I feel about them.

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you? Several times actually.

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? Sometimes.

83: Do you miss your last sweetie? No.

84: Last time you slow danced with someone? In her apartment in January. I put on the playlist I’d made for her, wrapped my arms around her waiste and just danced. She giggled and told me I was silly, but she danced along.

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met? By never met I assume you mean like an LDR. Yes. Many times.

86: How can I win your heart? Be honest with me, tell me how you’re feeling. Send me things you saw on Tumblr that made you think of me. Make me chili spaghetti (my favorite). Cuddle me while we watch my favorite movies (Clueless, Legally Blonde 1 & 2, Perks of Being A Wallflower)

87: What is your astrological sign? I am a Cancer.

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Sleeping??? I think????

89: Do you cook? Occasionally. I like trying new recipes.

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? Yes. A few times.

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship? Yes and no. I want her, but I also want to take it slow. No rushing. We’ll go as slow as turtles.

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? The latter. I fall quick sometimes, and I prefer a serious relationship over dating and not being “tied down”.

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest? DIrty blonde hair, blue eyes, a lovely smile. I prefer girls who are taller. Which isn’t too hard since I’m 5'1. Uhhh other than that I don’t care.

94: Name four things that you wish you had! Chili spaghetti, Kaitlynn, tickets to see Ed Sheeran, and a French Bulldog.

95: Are you a player? I don’t think so. I am very monogamous.

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day? I once played truth or dare with two of my friends in 4th grade, and got dared to kiss both of them. Does that count?

97: Are you a tease? During sex or flirting? Either way the answer is yes.

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? Yep. We don’t talk anymore.

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone? Only twice.

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with? Kaitlynn. 100000x over.

101: Hugs or Kisses? Can I just have both??

There ya go anon!

#mine #because its 2 a.m and I'm bored #ask #anon