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ilovehugslikealotalot · 1 month

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A FOOL’S LOVE

req: basically r pulled an Emily and died on everyone, just to add to the trauma she died in Emily’s arms because that’s a great start to a Emily Prentiss x fem!r fic right?? So, she not dead really but people don’t know that. Basically Emily’s just missing her more than usual until the Attorney General reveals that y/n had been on a mission and stayed low. Nobody in the team knew about it, in order to make sure there were no distractions at all. Emily basically just doesn’t know how to feel.

WARNING: angst, sad!emily, r is gone for 8 months, reunion, betrayl?, trauma bc it’s Criminal minds, cursing, implied smut, wife!emily

Today marked the anniversary of y/n’s death. In truth, all of the team died a little that day, it was just a matter of how much. For most it took over a month, at least. For Emily..no, she couldn’t get over it.

She found herself at the Shooting range for hours at a time just trying to get her mind off of the hell she was living.

No matter how hard she tried, she experienced the love of her life die in her arms. It haunted her more than anything in her life had. She once told some, “After being assaulted, drugged, and killed in the line of duty, I figured what’s the worst that could happen.”

This. This is the worst.

She could still vividly remember the smell of blood that overloaded her senses, she could hear her own screaming, she tried so hard to stop the bleed but it just kept coming. ———

“no, no, no, no. Baby, stay with me, please!” Emily sobbed, she tried putting as much pressure as she could as she screamed for a medic, someone, anyone to help her.

“Em, hey, look at me..” she said weakly, holding her wife’s face, “Calm down, it’ll be alright” she whispered, brushing her hair out of her face. Blood covered her vest, sirens glared outside, “Help is here, you’re going to be okay! I love you so much, please don’t die on me, I can’t lose you too” Emily held her close and sobbed, she could feel your breathing become shallow. The paramedic swiftly but quickly took y/n away. Leaving Emily soaked in a pool of her own wife’s blood.

———

“Emily? You get that?” JJ asked, holding her arm, the section chief nodded and skimmed through the file. “Okay so, the Attorney General asked us to take a rest from cases and finish up some reports and paper work. We all have a meeting with her back here at 7:00” Emily announced, Shooting up from her chair and walking to her office locking it behind her. Her blind were already shut so she just plopped down on her chair.

She felt a burning in her eyes as she flipped through files. Her breath seemed to get caught in her throat while her vision blurred. Emily gripped her pen, angrily snapping it and throwing it down on te ground the ink splattering on the ground next to her, it was red, reminding her of the blood…so much blood. Affer y/n’s death, she wasn’t really the same, she was the shell of the person she once was. Her temper was shorter and her work hours seemed to add up.

She was almost never home the smell reminding her of y/n and the love she could never have again. But, she came home most weekends wanting to just sleep in her clothes all day. The house wasn’t a mess because she hadnt touched anything since she died that day. But she did get the strength to clean dishes once in a while. But there was never much considering she lived on coffee and granola bars.

Emily stared at the framed photo of her and y/n reminding herself that they never got the chance to start a family. They were thinking about adoption and hopefully raise the kid as their own.

She let out a sob, her head in her hands as she wailed, her throat closing up as she struggled to compose herself.

She couldn’t do this.

No, not without her

The night that y/n passed on was the hardest, she refused to believe she was gone, telling herself that it was just some sick joke. She cursed everything and cried for months blaming herself for not acting quicker. Some people told her to just move on, Emily had lived without her once, she could do it again.

No. She couldn’t just move on. That was before she knew that y/n was the one person that she needed, the one person that she truly wanted. Her heart ached if she was gone from her for even a moment, she couldn’t last a day without giving her a call. At this point she must’ve called her so many times, each time she held onto the hope she would answer. That her sweet voice would be at the other side.

It wasn’t possible to forget her wife, not when she gave her so much to remember. It pained her that she waited for a love that would never comeback, she was pissed at the world and herself.

It should’ve been her instead of y/n that night, she could vividly remember the sound of y/n’s laughter which quickly melted into horrified and pained screams. She could hear the killer’s voice in her ear, he taunted Emily and blindfolded her, letting her only hear the screams of terror as he stabbed her wife. Her y/n.

She could’ve untied the ropes faster, gotten her to sit up off of the floor faster, she could’ve killed him sooner.

Emily clearly recalled y/n telling her to move on and be happy, it was the only thing she asked of her before her passing. How could she ask such a thing?

Emily practically fell in love the moment she saw her, how could she ever feeling the same way about someone else. No one could replace her. Ever.

Thinking back to the memories, she sniffled but smiled a little knowing not all of her was gone.

————

“Oh, Emily this is our new Agent, Y/n Y/l/n” Hotch introduced, letting y/n shake the other woman’s hand, “Hello, it’s so nice to finally meet you, I’ve heard of your case, you’re brilliant” she complimented, drawing a deep blush from the older woman. She stuttered for a second trying to register the words. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you too, I’m Emily Prentiss”

It wasn’t long before the team began to meddle with their blossoming love, JJ, Garcia, and Rossi being the most active with their witty remarks about the two. It wasn’t long before Hotch left and Emily stepped up that they got together.

It was supposed to be a secret, that was until Emily forgot to lock the door mid make out session and Tara happened to walk in.

———

She wiped at her eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling like rain. It was close to the meeting and she couldn’t let anyone see her like this. So, she cleaned herself up and stepped out of her office for the first time that day. Tara was the only one in the bullpen, the others, she assumed were out somewhere getting coffee.

“Hey, you been crying again?” The doctor asked, opening her arms up for the other woman. Emily nodded, fighting back the resurfacing tears. “I know it’s the anniversary of her death, Em. If it helps, I’ll come with you to her grave after the meeting” Tara smiled sadly, the team all came in, JJ handing Emily a warm cup. Deep down, they all felt sorry for Emily. They knew how much they loved each other and how much they’ve sacrificed. As 7:00 approached they all filed into the debriefing room, an extra chair was out for the Attorney General, Deborah, and there was an empty chair next to Emily. Y/n’s old chair..

As much as they hate to admit it, they pretend she’s still sitting their with her giddy smile and optimistic nature. “Hello, Agents, I thank you for coming in,” Deborah said with confidence and authority radiating off of her, “As you know, Agent Y/l/n had sadly passed on the field approximately 8 months ago, it has also come to my attention that you are all aware of Project Morning Glory, correct?” They nodded their heads some flinching at the mention of y/n, who they all had tried to not think about all day.

“The Project has been fulfilled and the target has been neutralized. We needed absolutely no distraction for her whatsoever, so I ordered for her to fake her death” Luke was the first to speak out, “what?” He let out a sigh of relief and astonishment, “she’s alive?”

”Yes, Agent Alvez, y/n is very much alive” Everyone was completely and utterly flabbergasted, Emily blocked everyone out the thoughts in her brain being incoherent as she played it all back to the moment she held her wife close, screaming at the Lord above for any kind of help. “I saw her bleeding out, I smelled the blood, I felt her go limp, she’s dead” Emily had refused to believe it, the tears pooling in her eyes for what seemed like the billionth time that day. She had been close to accepting that that she was gone, now this?

“If you have concerns, please, direct them toward me-“ Deborah began but was sharply cut off by a hurting Emily Prentiss. “Concerns? I have concerns, alright! For 8 months my team has been struggling, I’m struggling!” Emily stood up from her seat, her hands gripping the round table. Everyone lowered their heads a bit, even though her wrath hadn’t reached it’s peak yet. “Case after case, do you know what we’ve gone through? The sacrifices? Yes, I have concerns!”

JJ felt tensions rise, as she picked her head up to see Emily spilling tears, “I begged for her to come back. As a shadow, even in a dream. You took my wife from me, you are sick” Emily said through gritted teeth, the Attorney General looked guilty for a moment before smiling at the door.

“Agent Y/l/n, it’s nice to see your face”

Emily frozed, she wasn’t ready, when everyone turned around and cried during the reunion, Emily didn’t turn, the 8 months she had replaying in her head in a constant loop. Her lack of motivation and depressive episodes got worse, she needed y/n and now it seemed like she was just stabbed the in the back.

Nothing could stop this Internal war she was having with herself, she couldn’t believe her ears, it was like she wanted to move but her body refused to. “Emily? Honey?” Y/n called out, her sweet voice a little more tired sounding. Her hair was still the same, assuming she had to maintain an image while being undercover as a secretary to a high-stakes business man. A small cut was above her forehead, her lips were swollen light she had just taken a beating. She had hoped for a more sweet reunion but deep down she knew Emily needed time.

Emily was angered, she couldn’t take the sight of anyone, so instead of getting a sweet kiss and a long hug she stormed out her head full of thoughts she could hardly process, while people tried calling out or going after her, Y/n stopped thme knowing her wife would need time. ——

In her office, Emily knocked her files off the desk with a loud grunt, she slammed her fist down on the desk and yelled cursed as she tore books from the sheleves, and even threw the framed photograph of her and y/n across the room. She rested her herself on the table behind her desk. She sighed, as she felt a cut on her knuckle she brushed it off and sniffled, straightening her blazer when the door opened.

“Emily? I know you might not be ready to talk, I just wanted to let you know I was sorry, I was going to reject the offer but he was gonna go after you, I just…I couldn’t risk that.” Y/n admitted closing the door softly, noticing the room looking like a tornado had hit it, she smiled softly seeing the framed picture and picked it up.

“I mourned you, I lost the one person I loved most in this world, I finally got what I wanted, what I needed. Then, you just got ripped away from me, I couldn’t handle it” Emily sobbed, hurriedly walking over to her wife and sobbed between words, “I couldn’t move on, just thinking about it made me sick, I blamed myself for it everyday, and every night the same nightmare.” The emotional state the Unit Chief was in was overwhleming to say the least, the woman was shaking as she buckled at the knees. “I’m here to stay, for as long as you’ll have me”

“Stay forever then?” She sniffled, kissing her lips softly, the world disappearing around them, right now, it was just Emily and Y/n, no cases, no missions, no death. Just love.

#emily prentiss x female reader #criminal minds #emily prentiss #i love her #tara lewis #jennifer jareau #omg i love this #matt simmons #spencer reid

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