#and tbh -- as someone who has gone back to look at old stories I've written

[redwinterroses]

tw for what could possibly come across as transphobia

i'm glad ivory came out, and i'm glad she can now live as her like,, authentic self and stuff, but i've been mourning mythrodak. like, the character. i feel like he's died and i've been told to forget him. and i know her comfort is much more important than a character she made that she's since disowned. but it's been fucking me up and i wanted to know if anyone else was feeling this.

(sorry for sending this to you on anon, i had anxiety over saying it as Myself)

No, I get it. I really do. I'm sure whatever Ivory does is going to be awesome, but just from some of the things she said I definitely think it's going to be very different in tone and content. Which is fine and great and creators should always be making the content that makes them happy (and absolutely not what makes them miserable) but I also feel sad to lose Mythrodak.

And I don't think there's anything wrong or transphobic about that -- it's not like we knew the cc behind Mythrodak and are saying we want him back; we're missing an entirely fictional character that we have grown to love and be fascinated by. I do think it's sad that Ivory doesn't want people to tell any more stories about Myth, but that's entirely her prerogative to ask, and I definitely respect it. Personally, I've got a few fics that I'm going to have to shelve and not do anything more with (at least, not without entirely changing names and faces. One of the stories could easily stand on its own as an og work if I wanted it to) but it's what Ivory has requested, so it's what we need to respect.

(And, for the record, ccs have this prerogative even if it was an entirely different situation. If Grian one day said "Hey guys, please don't write any more fics about my character," I would be greatly saddened, but I would abide by it because it's his character, not mine.)

There is a strange feeling to it... I compared it last night to hearing about a celebrity death. Like, it's not someone I know -- in this case it's not even a real person, it's only a character -- but I can still feel some grief at losing this storytelling vessel and the worlds that go with it. Actually... no, I take that back. You know what it really reminds me of? The death of Iron Man in Endgame. I'm a huge Tony Stark fangirl, and his death in that film absolutely flattened me. I was sobbing in the theater (wasn't helped by the fact that the big buff guy behind me was crying his eyes out either, lol. I was fine until he started.)

There's nothing wrong with mourning the end of a fictional character. I know there's kind of a weird fuzzy line with ccs and characters, but that line is why I'm wholly willing to respect Ivory's wishes to lay Mythrodak to rest. If Myth was just a character Ivory had been writing stories about or something, rather than a sort-of extension of herself, it might be different? After all, as I said before: no one cares that Doyle hated Sherlock Holmes, lol.

But mcyt characters are a separate and weird category, and that needs to be respected. Respecting that line, however, doesn't mean I'm not allowed to be sad that Mythrodak stories are no more -- and nor does it mean that I'm not allowed to go back and enjoy the stories that already exist. I'm hoping that Ivory doesn't decide to take down the Mythrodak channel, but until she does, I don't see any reason why people can't still enjoy those stories and the amazing work that went into them. (The ad revenue probably won't be unwelcome, at any rate.)

Thanks for feeling like you could share this, anon. And no, you're not alone, and no, I don't think being sad about the loss of a fictional character is anything wrong or to be ashamed of -- I'm still mourning Tony Stark, lol, and it has absolutely nothing to do with RDJ. I wish Ivory the best in her new life, but I can also be thankful for the amazing stories she already told that grabbed my imagination and emotions, and I can simultaneously respect her wishes to lay the character to rest without entirely erasing the character and stories from my imagination.

#redwinteranswers #long post #I really do hope that Ivory leaves the old channel up. those stories are fantastic and deserve to be appreciated #and tbh -- as someone who has gone back to look at old stories I've written #and been gobsmacked by things and themes I certainly didn't intend to include #and have learned so much about myself from the safe distance of time and fiction #I highly encourage all authors/storytellers: never delete your old stories. even if you hate them. even if they're crap. #they can teach you amazing things about yourself in retrospect #...alternatively they can be very hilarious to look back on when you're older lol

[alirhi]

How I'd have done TFATWS pt 1

Okay, I am such a whore for positive attention that, yes, it literally only takes one person expressing interest to get me to do something lol. So, for the lovely @goblin-tea, here is how The Falcon and the Winter Soldier would have gone for Bucky if I'd been a writer on the show!

Also, shoutout to @gunshou, who popped up showing support when I was in the middle of writing this lol 😘

Episode 1: New World Order

I actually love how most of this episode was handled; it's what drew me into the show in the first place, and gave me such hope for the rest of it. Most of the changes that I'd make here are pretty minor, tbh.

I'd specify the setting in some way for Bucky's nightmare. Obviously, since he was there and knows what happened, when, and where he was, it wouldn't be like the setting changes in movies where they slap a big, bold title card over the scene. Still, I'd probably open with a brief establishing shot showing the city skyline or something; some identifying feature so that viewers can work out where this happened without needing a direct statement from Marvel (note: if you need to directly address your audience to clarify something from within your story, you're a bad storyteller). What year did this take place? I show technology from the time; perhaps a dated cell phone in someone's hand. The point is to establish where and when The Winter Soldier killed RJ Nakajima, without detracting from the emotional impact of the scene. Why does it matter? Because we should know why. Why is Bucky dreaming about this particular incident? Was it his last mission before the events of CA:TWS (a theory I see frequently repeated but with no evidence to back it up)? Was it earlier on? Is RJ only on the forefront of Bucky's mind because of his (unhealthy, but we'll get to that) friendship with Yori? How long has Yori been suffering under the weight of his grief?

I would not have had him crash through the wall, btw. As cool as that shot looked, let's try to remember that The Winter Soldier was a ghost story for 70 years. Ghosts don't leave giant gaping holes in hotel walls. I'm not saying brazen wholesale destruction is out of character for him (obviously not. I've seen CA:TWS lmao. many times. this moment lives rent-free in my brain:

found on google without credit; pls lmk if it's yours so I can credit.

but you don't become a "ghost story" if you always leave that much evidence, ijs)

I'd leave the terrible therapy session alone. That scene was beautiful. Beautifully shot; I loved how claustrophobic it felt, and it really did a wonderful job of showing how Bucky felt on the spot, scrutinized, almost put on display for this bitch woman. This scene establishes Raynor as clearly wrong, and an unprofessional mess, and Bucky calls her out on it. I fucking love that!

lmao gods, I love his painfully awkward forced smile... Guys, this episode is fkn great. (betcha weren't expecting so much praise from me, were you? 😂)

"You're free." "To do what?"

👆👆👆 In my show? That would have more of an impact on Bucky's arc. That question would be one of the underlying issues moving his whole story along. Twice in this show, he's told that he's free, but no one addresses what he's free from, much less what he's free to do next.

It's a minor thing, but when Yori tells Bucky to ask Leah out? I'd have Bucky do more than just shake his head in silent horror. Not much more, just something that matters to me as someone who's worked in the service industry for many, many years and dealt with too many creepos: Bucky would flat-out say "she's at work! that's harassment, Yori!"

Yori can still stomp right past that boundary, and Leah can still smile and agree. I just really want someone to verbally acknowledge that you don't fucking ask someone out when they're at work. Ever. Bucky cringing and apologizing puts the power of the conversation back in Leah's hands; it gives her an out to politely decline if she's not interested, and just laugh off Yori's flirting on Bucky's behalf as a senile old man being silly, so I'm actually fine with how this scene turned out. I just would personally have gone that extra inch there for the idiots in the audience who don't get Bucky's subtle "wtf" reaction and why Yori's suggestion was so bad. If someone's livelihood depends on being nice to you, keep your goddamn distance. Flirting with them or asking them out when they're at that big of a disadvantage and have virtually no power to say "no" is harassment.

Here is where I'd make one more subtle change, too. When Yori sees the mochi and is reminded of his son, and tells Bucky about his death, I'd just slip in a time frame. "x years ago, my son was..." blah. (Guys, it really bothers me not knowing when that scene took place rofl can you tell?)

One complaint I've seen a lot online about this show is how it's a bit murky on just how well known Bucky is in-universe. He can walk around Brooklyn with more or less total anonymity, but he's also recognized as "an Avenger" (when he was never actually technically in the group)... but honestly? I think it's actually pretty realistic. Just because someone's famous doesn't mean every single person on the planet knows who they are and what they look like well enough to instantly recognize them on the street. People look different in photos than in person, and pre-Blip, Bucky had the complete Jesus look - long flowing hair and a full beard. In TFATWS he's a little scruffy, but not this:

Sebastian looks like about 10 different men from one moment to the next just irl with a change in haircut, lighting, expression, whether or not he got enough sleep the night before... 😂 I don't really find it hard to believe that people not expecting to bump into an Avenger would have trouble seeing Bucky post-haircut as anything other than just another attractive white guy.

Anyway! Sorry for the segue lol. On to the date!

Earlier in this very same goddamn episode, it is established that Bucky can remotely operate a car with a tablet. This is not a technologically-inept geezer. This is a 30-something nerd who loves new technology, who, yes, is facing a brave new world and a whole lot of new technology, but has never shown any issue picking it up. The crappy flip phone he handed Raynor earlier? a burner to keep her out of what little personal life he does have (we never see it again in the real show, anyway). The "tiger photos" line? Stays, not to show Bucky's floundering ineptitude with technology, but as a little nod to his bisexuality. (don't like it? don't wanna see Bucky as bi? go watch the show and read Skogland's borderline-offensive interviews. This isn't "how I would pander to a homophobic audience" it's "how I would have written it." the "Bucky is bi" interpretation is super fucking common and has been since TFA so bite me 😁)

Tiny nitpick, but I'd also have the Battleship boards actually set up properly lmao. What even was that? Anyway...

I don't think I'd have Leah get all ranty about Yori and RJ. That's not first date talk, for one thing. For another, let's ease up on the beating Bucky and the audience over the head with that one incident in a single episode, shall we? Instead, I'd have her stick with the date questions - she asked his age, asked about his family; I'd have her follow it with questions about what he does for a living (giving us a chance to not only actually have that question answered for us - how the hell does Bucky keep himself from being homeless? lol - but also set up...)

He shuts down a little when she starts asking about his past; she's innocently curious, just trying to get to know him, but he's flinchy and deflects with questions about her. The date is awkward, but doesn't abruptly end with him running away lol. He walks Leah home, like the old-fashioned gentleman he is, goes home, himself, and end on him grimacing in his sleep, in the clutches of another nightmare: not as much detail as the RJ murder scene, we see disjointed, disorienting images of fluorescent lights glinting off of machinery, the occasional shot of Bucky writhing in the chair, a shot of that damned notebook (to remind the dumber audience members why Raynor's passive-aggressive notebook thing was so triggering for him), and we hear echoes of a couple of the trigger words, and Bucky's screams.

#tfatws #tfatws critical #how it should have gone #if i'd written it #bucky deserved better #bucky was a victim #victim not villain #take your victim blaming bullshit and fucking choke on it #episode 1

[silentauroriamthereal]

Hey SA I've just seen you reblogged a post about goodbyes in the show and I so would like to know your opnion on this. Do you think the cane scene was in character for John? Tbh I think his character was very OOC in S4 but I'd like to know your opinion on this. Yours are the only fanfic I read post-s4 I really trust you with my heart. Thank you!

Okay, just as a disclaimer, because I really, really don’t want anyone to think the opposite here, I absolutely love John Watson. Please don’t be confused about that. That said, he’s got some massive issues. 

Unfortunately, I do see the cane scene as in character, but I’m also one of those annoying people that would say that there’s a huge range of what could be considered “in character” for every human, you know? I’m just as much myself when I’m being a total dick as when I’m being the best version of myself. One end of the spectrum is not truer than the other. John is just as much John when he’s doing that soft, gentle, tender gaze, like at Sherlock and Mrs Hudson in ASIB as he is when he’s physically hurting Sherlock. Unfortunately, they chose to draw out the ugliest aspects of John’s personality in series 4, showcasing his damage far more than his heroism and the beautiful soul that he also is underneath those trust issues and unspent, ultimately inward-pointing anger and guilt and sense of inadequacy. Walking out when things get difficult is very much consistent with his behaviour from series 1 forward: look at his little domestic with Sherlock in TGG: Sherlock is being insulting and difficult, and instead of trying to talk through it or ask deeper questions, or even just argue it out, John gets up and leaves. 

I would say that it’s canon that he also left Mary after she shot Sherlock. I don’t see how anyone could possibly have maintained “months of silence” while occupying the same space. It just isn’t possible. For a few weeks, maybe, but months of genuine silence? No way. John wasn’t there. To his credit, and this is a big thing, John doesn’t stay mad. His capacity to handle things blowing up in his face is rather limited, but give him time and he’ll go back and give it another go. It took him 24 hours after Sherlock returned. Even when he thought the bearded old man was Sherlock playing a prank, he was laughing in spite of himself and clearly, overtly disappointed when it turned out not to be Sherlock. So he went back. The fact that it took him six months to return to Mary says a lot in terms of how reluctant he was to do it. I hate that he did it, but I get that the weight of his sworn word and the impending arrival of his child were the sole driving factors there, rather than love for Mary herself. His extreme reluctance and over promise of continuing anger during that scene hardly made for a cozy little reunion scene (I once saw an interview where Gatiss referred to it as “so tender and moving” or some crap like that, but that’s a rage post for another day!). The point is, given time to sort himself out, John goes back. He goes back to therapy even when he thinks it isn’t working. For all that Mrs Hudson had to bully him into it (he wasn’t ready and that wasn’t right!), John did finally agree to see and treat Sherlock. He would have gone back. That’s as much in his character as his preponderance for leaving is. 

Furthermore, while it’s ugly that he leaves, I also find it entirely understandable. This is someone who has a history of familial issues, estranged from everyone except a sister, with whom he shares a barely-tolerated relationship. He was in an active war zone: say no more. His superior officer, on whom he clearly had at least a bit of a hero complex for (and I personally don’t see anything else there, but that’s also plenty!), let him down and shut him out. Life had already betrayed John over and over and over again by the point that he met Sherlock. And Sherlock, for all of his intellectual brilliance, had never allowed himself to have a relationship so close that he might actually want to consider the other person’s feelings. He was clumsy and a slow learner and I think it took him a long time to see that John’s feelings needed better care than he was equipped to understand or give at the time. Their shared sense of inappropriate humour always had that edge to it, and while John is mentally healthy, I think he loves it (and I think that that’s why, when Sherlock faltered in the restaurant upon seeing John again and hastily revised his ill-conceived plan, that he turned to the one thing he thought he could rely on, this shared humour) but when he’s having one of his bad times, it cuts sharply. I think that he understands the genuine affection behind it, and when Sherlock said everything he said in his wedding speech, I think he was honestly shocked to hear it expressed so directly. He does know how much Sherlock thinks of him, how much he relies on him, and that any light jokes to the contrary are genuinely jokes. With Mary, on the other hand, they weren’t actually jokes and he knew it. They’ve always had communication problems, ones that lead to living out what they want from each other in the worst ways possible, but the love behind it is a real thing. Their actions only hurt each other so badly because of that very yearning there, one that neither of them seems able to express, or willing to take the risk to express. It’s a truly damaged relationship and they’ve both been damaged by it. As someone who absolutely believes in their love, and in the capacity for them to love hugely, deeply, and without reserve, it hurts to say that. Nevertheless, I do believe that with all of my being. 

I’ve joked that my new “kink” since series 4 is getting them both some therapy. I’ve written more therapy in stories since Christmas than ever before! Since series 4 started airing, I’ve written These Four Walls & Exile (after TST), Where My Demons Hide (John goes back to Ella), Now That the Dust Has Settled (We Can See the Stars), and A Satellite Out of Orbit (told from Ella’s POV in which she sees Sherlock during TLD), (after TLD), and then after TFP: A Case for Domestic Propinquity, Hell Hath No Fury (John goes back to Ella), From the Bottom of the Well (John goes back to Ella), Bridging the Ravine & Set in Stone (which take place at a resort for same-sex couples needing group and one-on-one relationship counselling). I think they need help. I also think that one of them could finally come to his senses and realise one day that they need to talk, and talk properly. I take back what I said about my biggest canon frustration being the way John leaves Sherlock: it’s definitely Moftiss never having once allowed them to have a direct, honest, and complete conversation. (Sometimes direct, sometimes honest, but never complete!) I think that they could get there on their own. It’s possible. It just hasn’t happened yet. 

That said, remember this: in opera we always say that the opera never takes place on the day that nothing happened. Remember all of those other days we aren’t shown: we can safely assume that alllll of those other days, and these are the majority by far, they lived together, cooking and taking out the trash and taking turns in the bathroom (that model of house would rarely have had a third bathroom on the third storey; that’s where the servants would have lived and they’d have used an outdoor privy at the time when this model of house was built, and the other bathroom would be in Mrs Hudson’s suite). They’d have taken cases and gone for midnight dinners at the Chinese restaurant on the corner and laughed at all of the wrong times and provoked speculation from anyone and everyone who ever saw them together. They’d have complained about their respective siblings and been a little nicer to each other every time one or the other was having a bad day. Think of Sherlock buying John beer after things with Sarah ended, according to John’s blog. Think of John, on his honeymoon, yet unable to just stop communicating regularly with Sherlock. They’re a damaged team, but nonetheless a team. Think of Sherlock knowing John so well that he could even predict that John would choose to leave him again, and how. They know each other in ways that no one else ever will, and I stand by that. 

I hope that helps? :)

#sherlock #john watson #johnlock #they're so damaged but there's still hope #unrepentant shipper here #lilbeelocked