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silveredsound · 25 days

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How you go from harry styles to hockey I will never understand.

I was going to make a little joke, as I do, (would have been v hilarious, best joke ever pls know this) and leave it at that. But like, it's been raining for over 24 hours, it's 2am and it might be good for me to reflect a little.. So sorry anon I am going emote all over your ask (which (the ask) sounds a bit judgey tbh but the written word is NOT a great conveyor of tone so that might be on me.)

On one hand it's just fandom. And, I think it's been pretty clear that as much as I love Henry Stars, I'm not like, a 'Harry is the be all and end all of all music creation and creativity and actions.' I like him for the good and the bad, and I don't leave critical thinking at the door. (Not saying I'm the only person to do this, just that it's hard sometimes in fan spaces and Stans definitely do..)

Which, can make it hard to participate in fandom as a lot of people are not great at irony, or accepting that someone else can say, god damn that is a terrible song - and that it's okay for that to happen. It doesn't mean that the person who expressed the neg opinion is not still a fan of the artist they were speaking about. Same with if the artist you are a fan of does something that gives you the ick.

I def learnt this when Harry went to Google Camp the first time. Like obviously I've been around 1d fandom in some way since 2012 ish I think it was - and it was my own reaction to Harry going to Camp Douchebags the first time that made me go, oh jeez Silv, you are a bit too involved in the parasocial relationship here. Like I was genuinely upset that he'd done something I thought was so dumb and wanky.

Anyway, clearly I still loved - love - him and I celebrated him and spent a fuckload of money on him and engaged in fandom and etc etc. But I just did at that point I think turn a little from heading in a very blinkers on version of fandom to one that's def more me - where you just get to have fun, make fun be creative, make friends! and have a bit of a perv depending on the silk cream vanilla ice cream outfit Harry might be wearing in Nashville.

I like RPF. I mean I like all transformative works and fandom extending and enhancing source material via creation, but I don't have an issue with RPF. I believe in 4th wall. And I clearly have written 1d fic. A lot of my good fandom mates, and real life best friend(s) are people I have met through sharing a love of writing in fandom spaces. Obviously all the best writers in 1d went to Hockey. And I stayed here. And I tried. I wanted to be where my friends where. I had fomo and I was lonely! My fandom had changed in a few ways all around the same time.

But Hockey is very confusing, (for starters as I often say to Angela or Joanna, snow is fake) and nothing clicked for me - it seemed large and I had no idea where to even start and I didn't really try.

But I think the change in some fandom fellow participants, and also anons being mean when they would get even a glimpse in their peripheral that I might have vaguely indicated that Henry did something that I thought was dumb or embarrassing, or just not that good, (it's no fun sharing a thought and feeling chatty about it, and wanting to engage with other people's thoughts if some random is going to anonymously tell you that you are a dumb c*nt and should delete etc etc so I stopped sharing any thoughts at all.) Of course Nick leaving breakfast and then R1 altogether - as well as obviously my whole life narrowing to a point that was just tend Mama- work - tend mama - work - tend mama - sleep - grow a tumour - tend mama left me not so much time for proper joyful engagement.

And then, in Jan/Feb this year, I think as I'd been looking at book reviews and as soon as you search for a book on tik tok they push book tok romance reviews into your feed and I think then that pushed an actual hockey clip (which is a really shite 4th wall issue as is the whole Kraken thing etc) and I can't even remember what it was but I know I then swiped through and watched other videos on the account and like 1d being adorable shites repeating stock answers and sitting on top of each other I was intrigued by what seemed to be very dumb and very entertaining.

But Silv, you cry, what about the emotions! You need emotions! Ah, yes, see, because I am nothing but devoted I had followed Angela and La's hockey blogs, and something La posted grabbed my attention and I followed a link and read an article and I was like. Oh, I want to read more about these kids. So I did. And after a little while I reached out to La and was like, um, I think I get it. And I posted something about the Fantilli Bros and then Max reached out and tbh I don't think anything says it better than my wide eyed enthusiasm reply. (You are probably by now thinking, Silv why is your answer to Max so short, why didn't I just get a paragraph? This is an endless essay with no conclusion or indeed a thesis statement, (that is if you have even made it down to here) & anon I can only apologise.)

I am really enjoying learning so many new things, being welcomed into a new space of connection and joy and silliness and emotional breakdowns. It's been so lovely to meet new people who are so excited to share their niche interest with you and no one minds how many questions I have and everyone searches out Primera and Important Past Instagram Posts from the archives - and of course reconnecting with people who I have always been friends with, fandom changes didn't change that, but it's delightful chatting much more often. The other day Angela and I watched an Avs game together via Tumblr chats, which was delightful, to learn about the team and to talk about random other things, and I've spent my last month of Saturdays watching umich with lovely people who La introduced me to, and having MANY EMOTIONS. (It's like hanging out all posting about a show's fits and one liners and if he's going to sing medicine but it's many pantomime gooseberrys. The performative homoeroticisim, wild hair, jokes, punching (only now during not pre show work outs ) and very goddamn impressive skill and physicality is actually pretty similar). Meghan and I have been able to chat through our very similar horrible experiences with cancer and mums with cancer and it's been so lovely and strengthening to be able to share that experience with a person who beyond gets it, and then also I've been able to announce to her that I want to write a fic about 5 ways Nolan saw god with the UMich Bible Study Group but didn't find faith. which is obviously a completely ridiculous concept but equally worthy of discussion. It's this that I love so much about fandom friendship - you share SO much because you are sharing something that gives you intimate joy, so the relationship always starts from a place of an automatic mutual understanding and empathy - and from there we make it our own.

But also, I really like the game. Like I love watching them play, all of them! It's fast (obviously - and oblig have to say - ice is slippery) and it's hard - and they make it look easy. When one of the special players (they are all special, but one of the ones who play almost with innate ability) makes a pass or a turn sometimes it's almost almost magic, like how the fuck did they see that gap between four players, and did you see how they kept the puck a moment longer so they could release it perfectly into the lane !! Hot.

The game can be all encompassing and it's SO SO SO silly. Like it's the dumbest sport. It's The Show. I'll put on ESPN and stream a match while I'm working during the day (the time difference is perfect for once) and I'm spending time cos I want to, learning the rules and the logistics and business side of it all. And of course, the differences between college hockey and the show. Idk. It just clicked on so many levels for me.

And so, I have no idea why it took me so long to transition from Henry to Hockey, but I am not surprised I did now that I have - it def wasn't something that I was bloody expecting. And Anon I will say this, the last few years of my life have been sad, hard, and tbh shitty. Now, I know what it's like to have fucked years, so I am not saying this to try to be and show off but 2024 feels a bit better. I feel clearer, I have started to lose some weight (15ish kg so far depending on the time of the month) and now I have a meeting w a PT on Tuesday as I actually don't care what I weigh but I want to get stronger and reduce my visceral fat as it will be better for hormones which is better for lessening my cancer reoccurrence %.

God knows it's (2024) not all roses, I literally had surgery again a fortnight ago and the cost of living in Sydney is giving me so much anxiety. I am still a terribly disorganised mess, my work is undergoing a complete restructure (thanks NSW gmnt) and my clean washing is NEVER folded and put away, it's always in the basket - but I feel so happy and entertained and creative - I am writing again! like it's joy. It's ye olde you are who you are at this moment but you are also the 4 year old you and the 15, 27, 34 year old you - girlhood (non gendered concept of not literal interpretation) and I love it. 💛🩵🌱

#sorry anon this is very much non con silv thinks about fandom and emotions and processes on main #there's a boy who has harry energy although more spoiled and sarcastic and this is delightful as i do actually think #which also i got a rude anon about once #that harry is not as nice as eveyone thinks #i think hes professional as fuck definitely #but i think hes a sarky little perfectionist and this delights me #but chemistry with everyone - thats the harry curse and blessing and the **** ****** one #sorry anon i know this was annoying #but i genuinely just really needed to get this out of me and acknowledge it all #fandom and fandom participation is something that is so important to us all #otherwise why would we have a little blog #let alone create posts of fic or gifs or edits #and god last year i said multiple times to shifty that i wished i had a fandom that i could wallow in as a happy place distraction #its very nice to feel engaged and delighted by something #i hope we can still be mates #i am a popstars and radio dj lover for life #i didn't even touch on teams i like and players and such cos not the point #tw: cancer #tw: death #tw: weight loss #sorry! i should have added those tw before!

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oifaaa · 2 years

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Wow I can’t believe Bruce told Damian that he wouldn’t acknowledge him as his son unless he dyed his hair black as the night. What a jerk. Truly, he is a heinous individual who definitely did this. How guilty Dick Grayson must feel for setting this precedent for all the Robins after him.

You think the hair thing is bad but dick setting the default look for Robin is also the reason why damian looks so white he has to wear makeup so he can match dicks skintone

#Ask #Randox-talore #I should stop giving dc ideas #But also #To say that Bruce forced damian to have a similar skintone to dick #Would mean that they'd have to acknowledge that damians skin tone is darker #And thats never gonna happen #It also makes Bruce look sorta racist #But I don't think dc would care about that as much

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moonlightsdew · 2 months

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Trying to explain how I think religious entities outside of Hazbin 's Christian-centric lore work without accidentally undermining other religions is being a pain in the ass and I really fucking wish I didn't have memory/focus issues that make recalling stuff I have studied and learned impossible.

#ooc #hazbin hotel cw #(im not religious and was raised in a Christian based household - and thh dont even remember much of those teachings)#(so im sitting here gesturing like. I Did Study Thos Stuff At One Point)#(but that point was over a decade ago and focused mostly on. fuck uh. ancient mayans?)#(that probably isnt the right way to refer to them ugh)#(the best way I can summarize it is: no one religion has all the details Correct)#(and even what charlie knows as the story of creation isnt... All There Was)#(but trying to craft it in a way that acknowledges everything in a respectful way is making my brain melt)#(buries face in hands. im Trying)#(i guess i should clarify that while raised Christian i didnt actively do studies into it)#(and in middle school i did a very base level look into the mayans due to hyperfixation on a book that involved them)#(so when i say its been over q decade since studying Things in depth thats what i mean)

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arrowpunk · 3 months

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You know it kind of sucks to see discourse about whether or not me and people like me should exist. Like just the fact that it's even a question in the first place sucks.

#ramblings of an arrow #I really need to make more friends that just arent christian at this point #like I still love my religious friends very much #but the fact that its an actual question being asked and that the majority answer is no like SUCKS dude #like holy shit and yall wonder why ppl leave the churh in droves #why there are so few queer christians #like its so fucking difficult to exist in a space where your right to exist is up for debate #its exhausting #like even if you arent outright saying it you make it so obvious you dont want ppl like me around #that the fact that I exist is either abhorrent or just too awkward to acknowledge #also sorry not sorry that my marriage is healthier that all but like 2 christian marriages ive ever seen #my lesbian ass is better at having a healthy loving marriage and good sex than most of you will ever be #youre gonna look at me and tell me that its wrong? really??#can you look me in the eye as you treat my existence as something to be ignored or spoken about in hushed tones #oh hide your children I might corrupt them because I exist being a loving caring adoring spouse to my wife #you dont like to talk about us or acknowledge us unless its to debate our right to be #as if that should even be a fucking question in the first place #im sorry i just.... this gets exhausting sometimes #im not gonna apologize for existing or try to hide the parts of me that make you uncomfortable #I am queer as hell I am a dyke I am a faggot I am a tranny and thats not gonna change no matter what you want #I adore my wife she adores me and I never felt this level of deep abiding compassionate love in christian spaces #your love comes with strings attached even though I know you want to believe it doesnt

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nomaishuttle · 8 months

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sry 4 being a girl with a special interest in death I just think maybe everybody should have more healthy exposure to death and maybe then wed all be a lot more normal about everything

#basically i think the fact that getting dead bodies out of view As quickly as possible has rly rly rly fucked up our relationship withdeath #i am not at all saying we should just leave bodies in the streets lol but like. i wish it was still commonplace to Care for the body in the #home. yk. obviously this is also a consequence of embalming culture and its all a consequence of the fear of decay. bc we want to think #that even when we die well Live on and we want to thjnk dying is a like. form of immortality..you die and then youre sterile and you stay #the same. and we treat decay like an offense Basically. instead of acknowledging that even though your body js dead there is soo #much life in yr body after you die. yk. i think basically that ppl should allow death 2 just like. be death. and acknowledge that things #change.. ik it isnt rly possible (in some states its illegal to keep the body in the home for more than like. an hour after death iirc)#i just rly rly wish ppl were allowed to be with the body and to take care of it bc i think thats always been SUCH an important part of the #grieving process. it helps you acknowledge that theyre gone and to send them off on your own terms #this is word vomit basically im crazy.

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kansasjustgotgayer · 6 months

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Im realizing that in social interaction i really lean heavily on the femininity of my voice to smooth over uncomfortable things. Ive been playing into the innocent white girl thing for a long time now I realize. Not maliciously, just to like, be forgiven for common mistakes. (Specifically small stuff, like taking too long in line, not getting the memo on something, etc) Im not sure how to change this because I feel like its a facet of my white privilege Im only now seeing myself using, but on top of that Im going on testosterone so the white girl good faith I’m given is 1, something I should consciously try to stop, and 2 not something i CAN do much longer.

#i think it makes sense that i do this as an afab person #because im pretty sure my mom does this too and most of my afab friends ive seen do the same thing #i really do just raise my pitch and try to have an ‘im sorry im dumb’ voice on #maybe thats not 100% white privilege but i cant not acknowledge how that bolsters the effect #and always the potential for harm if im not careful #idk. just so much of social interaction is dictated by tone of voice and if im manipulating things i should be aware of it and #be conscious of how it affects others

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trainingdummyrabbit · 8 months

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see the thing that i like so much about ruina so far is that it doesnt feel like its telling you to do something. like, specifically, it presents characters in situations, and reveals how they handle it. and afterwards... its just over. theyve simply done what they had to. theres never really any "ah, they were Flawed because they did This, so instead of doing That you should take This lesson from it." characters just... Are, and Do. theres no heavy urge to chamge the way you think, for lack of a better description. rather, it places down concepts and leaves it there, giving space for Thought rather than Explanation.

even with cut ins of angela and roland doing their own commentary-- it's never really presented as a You Should Take This Concept From This, but rather as... them Also figuring it out. because Everyone in the cast is just... odd, messy, flawed-- human. you can take away the same thing they do, or not. because everyone just does what they think is right, and deal with the consequences of it. it doesnt matter. things just move on. theres something refreshing about it.

#piktalk #verrry tagramble but um #like um. grain of salt because i havent Finished and havent had time to gather actual thoughts abt it so i may just be wrong--#but again. ruina with the steel chair.#not 2 get personal again but that has just kind of been on my mind a lot recently--#how often it is that other opinions simply... rub off on you. how theres just what youre Supposed to do or think.#that theres just one True way of thinking that everyone should strive for. when thats just... not how that really goes.#that theres a Right way to think and a Wrong one. when really its just kinda... choices. made to the best of ones ability in the moment.#it doesnt Have to be Good or Right. life goes on anyway. and somehow that can be just as scary as some sort of percieved 'wrong'.#and additionally-- how easy it is to Say you should act or think a certain way-- when truly understanding; believing; following it--#--is an entirely different story. its easy to tell yourself to just not worry; to have patience and kindness; to just keep your head high.#but actually enacting it takes effort. and not just that; but that those dour emotions that come with that inability--#--are just as important to acknowledge and give their space.#idk. i could be bullshitting. ig what it comes down to is #its nice to watch characters just... Make Decisions and Deal With Them. and thats it. no grand sweeping statements of Certainty. it just Is #ruina is very much one of those series i feel unqualified to speak for; as if others just Get It more than me; but... i speak anyhow !

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cutearose · 1 year

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okay but how do you ask for help when your childhood makes you feel guilty for needing help and the help that you need feels rude to ask for

#im really struggling to function rn and i finally accepted that i wont make it to my appt without help #so i posted on my snap story asking if anyone could come over for a few hours to help me get back on track #n. two people replied saying they cant but hope i find someone but no one else has replied at all #i knew the answer would probably be no bc no one has time to come all the way here to help me to do tasks i should be able to do alone #but idk i thought i might get some comfort or encouragement or something. just some acknowledgement #i wish i had a group chat or something where i could reach out to people. bc things like snap stories people are just flicking past #i NEED to change the kitty litter today i have no choice its unusable and needs changing but i just. how. i am so tired #i have a ridiculous amount of glasses n crockery specifically for when i struggle like this n yet im still almost completely out of them #bc i just. cant do the dishes. i dont even have to wash them they just need to go in the dishwasher n i Cant #my brain just completely shut down once i got back from the trip #especially bc i got a cold n i dont cope well being sick at all #but of course thats another reason i feel bad asking for help. bc my house is full of germs. n i dont want people to get sick bc of me #but i am running out of food and clean dishes and bench space and i just. cant do it alone rn #but i used up my asking capabilities posting on snap #posting on insta would prob get more people to see it but insta feels. much more public #i dont use my insta stories like ever so it feels like a Lot to post on it for this #n when i asked for support after my parents divorce i only got a couple responses anyway #n this is. not worth support. like its a problem of my own making? i went on the trip knowing it would be a Lot for me #i wasnt planning on getting sick And getting an infection which are both exhausting me a lot but thats not the point #idk im just beating myself up over here. idk how to ask for help esp bc i expect the answer to be no anyway #like who is gonna travel an hour+ to help their friend clean their kitchen and fill out paperwork. im 28 i should be able to do that stuff #these tags are getting very maudlin and mean to myself. sigh. i wish i didnt feel so guilty when i need help #i wish i felt like i was allowed to ask for and accept help #love that childhood and autistic trauma haha lmao #anyway. brains are annoying. and im struggling a lot.

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hauntedselves · 2 years

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i’ve been reading through the eating disorder blog posts over at tabitha farrar’s blog; and while it’s got great info and is very compassionate (being lived experience), there’s this one post that’s bothering me.

in this post, she talks about people with anorexia nervosa binging while in recovery, and how that’s normal and good. yes, great! but she keeps reiterating, “this is not binge eating disorder! you DON’T have BED!!”. and yes, diagnostically, this is AN recovery, not BED.... but behaviourally, this is 100% BED.

“So I went back to restriction. And then when I ate, I binged again. And so then I restricted. etc etc. Hey-ho, the good old binge-restrict cycle. I had to learn the very hard and long-winded way that the only way out of a binge-restrict cycle is to eat one’s way out. Literally.”

This is binge eating disorder!

BED is someone trapped in the binge-restrict cycle, just as much as someone with AN or bulimia is. BED is restricting, even if it’s not as intense or as on purpose as restriction in AN is (though it often is!), and then your body gives out and you binge because otherwise you will die. and then you feel horrible and ashamed and you vow to never binge again, and so you restrict.

so yes. someone in AN recovery binge eating is not diagnostically BED, but the behaviours and thoughts are the same.

(this is just another one for the “AN & BN & BED are different flavours of the same eating disorder” thing)

(also it feels like she’s frantically reassuring herself and other AN sufferers that it’s not BED, as if BED is the absolute worst thing that could happen ever. where’s the compassion now?)

#eating disorders #restrictive eating disorder #[is what AN & BN & BED & restrictive OSFED types should all be under]#dogpost #tabitha farrar #binge-restrict cycle #binge eating disorder #anorexia nervosa #AN - BN - BED constellation #not using 'spectrum' even though its correct bc people will think it means 'doesnt eat enough' to 'eats too much' thing when thats not it #oh and also when she talks about money its very clear she comes from a middle or upper class background and has never experienced poverty #and she doesnt really acknowledge that (or if she does its a meaningless gesture lol)

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whoviandoodler · 10 months

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petition to stop making fun of people who like those pinterest-esque posts with sad quotes and whatever bcs to you they may be edgy and cringy but to someone out there it might be the first time that they are seeing someone put into words the confusing experience of being Human. same goes with those bad ya books like. yes they are objectively, technically bad and most times just badly mimic something someone else did but someone will see deep ideas explored in them for the first time and marvel. and maybe instead of going lmao dumb kids we should go 'hey if you liked that book you might like [a book that was much better at exploring trope from that angle'. peace on planet earth or whatever

#dan talks #or like idk. just have a bit of respect and sympathy for ppl who have never seen something #for the human experience of being in that place #thinking abt this book i read at 13 or whatever that touched me sso much i nearly cried in class once quoting it #the quote was something like 'if u are never sad u cant know what happy means'#like lit some pinterest/ig deep quote TM shit #is the book good in retrospect? no. is it unique and interesting? not really no #but it mattered to me then and it made me think and feel and maybe we should respect that a bit #we all must go thru the first time of seeing Deep thoughts and thing x and thing y and yes they become routine after a while #and it becomes much much harder to be satisfied bcs ur standards are higher #but they matter in some way #like make fun of deep quotes and stuff im not saying thats Bad or something #but ive seen relentless ragging on these ppl. usually younger teens. and no one ever acknowledges how important that experience is #and how valuable when being lived #i just get tired sometimes of this apparent need to burn bridges w ur past self and never sympathize #like yes he had no taste but in order to get taste you might see something good #and then learn what better means #idk im still sickblogging

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timeisacephalopod · 2 years

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I love the logic of American (and by cultural mingling extension Canadian) tv standards because Supernatural straight up has tons of blood, on screen violence, mutilated corpses (just ran into one on the show with no hands/feet and a rune carved into his chest) ect and this is fine. No thoughts on Morality™️ here-

Somehow the line is drawn at swearing, because that's more offensive to viewers than cannibalism, which has also been featured on the show multiple times. "Fuck" is somehow more dangerous to public consumption then two people eating each other to death, an actual plot on the show, so what the fuck kind of line to draw is that? Let them say fuck and don't be a bitch about it when they straight up murder people on the reg and it's a violent as fuck show why is there no swearing allowed??!?!? Ghostfacers made it canon that they swear and I think Americans (and by extension Canadians) need to be freed from this dipshit ass Morality Police standard when objectively there's worse content on most shows than a god damn swear.

#winters ramblings #like theres SO MUCH VIOLENCE so HOW is the line drawn at SWEAR WORDS #like what the fuck how is MURDER and blood and gore and monsters going through wood chippers #more morally fibrous than some words lmao WHAT are the stamdards here because they make No sense lol #i will never understand why violence and murder is so much more acceptable then some fucking WORDS #people get shot point blank in the head on screen but saying 'shit' out loud is a step too far lmao #like if the SHEER amount if violence doesnt fuck your kid up for life i doubt 'cunt' said aloud will send them into a rage so baf #*bad that they grow up into drug lord cartel terrorists who hate god and piss on babies graves for Fun like grow up man #this show should NOT be wearing kid gloves but ONLY with Big Bad Swears lmao that makes no sense #something to be said for the SHEER amount of times sam and dean get sexually assaulted in early seasons too!!!#like its fucked up and creepy and it NEVER gets any real acknowledgment and THATS worse than 'fuck' ok

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0rionz-belt · 2 years

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this is going to sound fucked up, partially because i dont know how to say what im thinking properly, but i hate that lack of privacy gets taken advantage of by capitalism.

dont get me wrong, privacy is super fucking important obviously. but if we had a machine that could pull our memories out over the years and save them so we can watch them at the end of our lives, i think that would be incredibly lovely. but we would have to worry about the company or government accessing that data and even using it and it would be seen as a total invasion of privacy BECAUSE of that aspect. but in a world where that shit doesnt happen and i could be guaranteed that no one except me would EVER see those memories, id do it in a heartbeat. but of course fucking capitalism ruined that.

#is this an excuse for me to discuss a fictional solution to one of my fears in a sappy way? yeah #but i think it would be wonderful if people got to go through their memories in full clarity before they die.#to see their past just as vivid as when it was the present.#it wouldnt even have to be just the greatest parts. it could be stuff you had forgotten too.#and moments that seemed bad when they happened but led to so much more.#personally id love to be able to see some of the stuff from my early childhood that my brain doesnt remember fully.#id love to see my grandma again too.#hell if it were possible id love to see memories from the day i was born! ive always wanted to see my birth mother.#and think of the possibilities this could have for people with memory issues and degrading mental processes. god.#and of course...this may just be me but i think the machine should be able to pull certain memories away permanently too.#so that anything that has haunted you will leave you on your deathbed and you may have peace.#there are...quite a few memories i would love to die without.#and while it is best for my wellbeing and of other's as well that i dont forget about those memories anytime soon...#...i do think it would be nice.#honestly this post wasnt meant to be about how capitalism takes advantage of lack of privacy.#i just knew i wouldnt be able to share this daydream without acknowledging the moral complications.#god im going to cry. id be fine with keeping so many of my bad memories. thats most of what the past few years are anyways.#but part of why that is comes from incredibly beautiful moments. specifically friendships.#and if i could remember only the good parts of being with my friends and erase the shit that happened between us all. just for my last day.#i think that would bring me peace at last.#vent #wow this is fucking depressing! i might start crying at school actually.

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cockyroaches · 2 years

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Me seeing so many comments on that orko post abt how much ppl love him and hate that showrunner while ignoring the horrors going on in the new show

#like i think its ok to use he man as a medium to like. tell a better narrative #but if ur choices r based solely on how much itll anger your fans i think you should die or something #and also. and also. i bet they dont even acknowledge that he man was about non violence and the only time adam killed someone it was #a horrible experience for everyone. if thats how theyre treating death. anywaysssss #bitch mantis #he man

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just-a-simple-dyke · 2 years

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Kp is so good when they take themselves seriously i wish they did that more often

#torture scenes are a prime example #this show does visceral and cruel so well but only when it wants to!! i hate that theres so much comedy and slapstick in there #if they dialed down on the comedy for like 80% i knowwww they could achieve so much more in terms of plot and interaction with it #the occasional cinematic genius undermined by all the comedy makes me sew mad you do Not need that many tonal shifts😭😭#porsches bathroom breakdown. when kinn let him go in the woods. the torture scenes. bathroom hj. ep 1 bar talk. most of ep 7 #tankhuns comedy i enjoy and think is a great breather bc it fits his scenes!! i dont think they should get rid of all comedy but like #keep it where it fits only otherwise it just upsets the mood flow #gdjdgdjd ok im okay again whatever. i refuse to call this a bad show bc theres so much good stuff in there it just needs more balance #and it needs more correction on certain narratives like please acknowledge big and ken hello?? why are u not doing a check of all staff #when you KNOW theres been a mole this should affect your security measures #i think if they really committed to the 'gritty mafia show' it wouldve worked out a lot better! obviously still keep in tankhuns wit #and the breathers of the honeymoon phase and porsche and chay together and such #but swap the slapstick for more insight into how each character feels about everything thats happened or more reflection yknow #anyway this is not necessarily in regards to ep 10 its just a general observation because sometimes this show goes !!!!#and other times its like. well. that was a choice #do i want to tag this......i dont think so

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areacode516 · 3 days

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thinking about deh again… like i think one of the things that makes deh age weirdly is that the latter portion of it is incredibly uncomfortable to sit through. and it doesn’t quite give you the full catharsis you expect (i.e full closure with all characters). so it gives you an exceptionally like. emotionally tense feeling. it’s so heavy. when i finished watching it the first time it took me like all night to process it and finally relax and sleep. i liked the discomfort a lot though, it’s rare that a story makes you sit through it and sit with it and doesn’t feed you the perfect happy ending.

the entire Moment of evan revealing everything to the murphys is like. not quite second hand embarrassment, it’s like. second hand “totally fucked” (spring awakening style) and second hand “i want to kms” (how can you not empathize with/have compassion for evan during words fail) and second hand pure desperation of wanting to be anyone else but yourself but also wishing you could want to be yourself.

but in the end the murphys DON’T totally fuck evan à la melchior gabor…like….because they got attached to him and still feel that attachment, because he helped them get closure, because they realize he was very troubled and the truth coming out could make him go out the same way as connor and they wouldn’t be able to stand the guilt and knowing they could have prevented it…again…that is SO compelling. it’s not even about redemption or forgiveness. his lies helped them, and if you’re really extraordinarily cynical, the lie (platitude) that you will be found (the original lie that evan was found by connor), that there’s always going to be someone who’ll come running also helps people…and it’s not really a lie if the musical itself found people, right….the layers of #ywbf in universe and out of it are insane and I honestly think a lot of them are unintentional considering. but i would argue those layers were originally intentional (since the original idea pasek/paul/levenson came up with was a cynical satire on parasocial grief) but layers later pushed away in favor of fully celebrating joyfully and optimistically their song and story and theme and audience at the time, removing the nuance, leading to the direction of the movie.

could deh the musical have said what it wanted to say with more sensitivity and grace? sure. but what it *does* say is worth accepting its messy conclusions for, because expecting things to be neat and tidy and perfectly moral is just another lie we force ourselves to present to the world that prevents us from ever finding each other.

#dear evan hansen #dear evan hansen analysis #dear evan hansen meta #evan hansen #i find it admirable that while making deh they originally wanted to make fun of these characters but the more they got to know them #the more compassion and empathy they felt for them.#every single character in the story deserves compassion. bc if they do not...there is no hope for the rest of us #i also think that the protrayal of mental illness as something complicated that does hurt people is actually valuable #its more damaging to pretend that the only people who deserve help are the ones who have never been mentally ill in the wrong way #the more walls we put up projecting false selves; the more it becomes impossible to tear them down and feel safe being *flawed*#if i had found deh earlier as a teenager at my most su/c/dal ywbf would have pissed me OFF lmaoo i would have gone #'ITS NOT THAT EASY!' but that undercurrent is there within the text when you *know* for evan its all a lie.#he wants to pretend what really happened didnt and move on with the rewrite like that but its not. that. easy. and he finds out the hard wa #the anguish will never end until we let ourselves be seen in all our monstrous glory and come out the other side caked in gore but Alive #i should make it its own post but like. every single chara in deh projects a false version of themselves to the world because they think #they have to. because they think theyre not allowed to show people their flaws and anguish and mistakes #'the scary truth is i'm flying blind' - heidi thought she couldnt let evan know this.#the truth is scary and uncomfortable #she tried to pretend she wasnt coming up short all the time - until she admits it in sb/ss -#and once heidi has allowed evan to acknowledge her flaws evan can finally believe she loves him #that he is loved despite everything he thinks is wrong with him. that she wont hate him for what he did. that the pain will pass #thats just an example #theres also more heidi analysis you can do in this vein with regards to her interaction with the murphys but ive already talked too much #meta #my.post #it takes vulnerability to begin to accept ourselves and others #i want like. to talk about the themes of the story with people #maybe thats too much to ask for in 2024 #if theres anything you disagree with here or would like clarification on please feel free to interact!!!!

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