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#and then I will merge my sketch and paint layers together and the messing around starts for real
omaano · 1 year
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…. Just so we all know this is the stage from where I need to pull my little clone portraits together
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silima · 2 years
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How do u paint in procreate?
(im assuming ur talking abt my painting-style drawings like this & this but lmk if u meant something different 😫)
hmm my process is basically like
sketch. its okay if it's messy. it's also okay if it's a traditional sketch, although this one is digital
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slap some colors down with a paintbrush-like brush (i used flat brush). i think with a lot of digital coloring styles, the way you color is that you want to have full, uniform, flat colors drawn in, and then you'll go in with maybe a new layer for shadows and highlights, but in this paint-y style, i don't think that's needed. like you can see i've barely even bothered to put any color down on her cheek or the right side of the shirt
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then you uh, draw the rest of the fucking owl. merge ur sketch & ur color layer together, and just kind of mess around with the colors and shadows and lines. the eyedropper tool helps with blending a lot, and u can also just use a smudge tool/airbrush or something.
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let me know if there's something more specific you're curious about!
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tumbleweed-palmer · 3 years
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Unexpected: Jimmy Palmer x Original Character Chapter Two
Tony regretted the words the moment they left his lips. He had taken it way too far and he’d done the worst possible thing he could ever do in his eyes. He’d made his baby sister cry. He could see the tears pooling in her eyes as she’d screamed at him to leave her apartment.
He’d hurt her. That was the worst sin he could ever possibly commit. He’d always had that classic big brother attitude of “If you make my baby sister cry, I’ll break your legs.” He had always been the one who protected her and made sure she didn’t get hurt. He’d never considered he’d be the one who hurt her.
He felt like garbage at the moment. He felt lower than garbage. He was pretty sure he was akin to that gross layer of slime and bacteria filled liquid that developed at the bottom of a dumpster on a particularly hot day.
As Tony paced his apartment he found himself agonizing over this entire mess. This was so unexpected. He’d never imagined this would be a possibility.
He was just so angry to see Jimmy Palmer in Olivia’s apartment and to realize just what they’d been doing all this time. Tony felt betrayed even more so as they’d explained exactly what was going on. This had been going on a full year. It had been an entire year of both Olivia and Jimmy lying straight to his face.
He’d worked closer than usual with Jimmy this past year especially during that period of time when Gibbs had taken a short retirement. Tony had stepped up then leading the unit for months and he’d learned to turn to Jimmy for advice on cases more than once. Jimmy was a great confidant and Tony knew he could go to him trusting that the words they exchanged would stay between them. Jimmy had spent all that time working by Tony’s side and letting Tony confide in him, all while Jimmy was betraying him and carrying on with Tony’s little sister. Jimmy had been working with Tony during the day and going straight to Olivia every night.
He had known Jimmy for years now and Jimmy was the last person Tony would ever dream would mislead him. Sure, Jimmy had lied to everyone during his fling with Michelle Lee, but it had been so obvious what was going on to anyone with two working eyes. Jimmy was a terrible liar. He had a guilty conscience and never could keep up a lie. Clearly though Jimmy was a far more proficient liar than Tony had ever given him credit for. He’d kept such a massive secret from Tony. It was such an act of deception. Tony had even asked Jimmy point blank what was going on with Olivia and he. Jimmy had told Tony that there was nothing going on, just a friendship. Tony had thought he’d made it perfectly clear that his baby sister was untouchable.
It was supposed to be part of the bro-code wasn’t it? You didn’t hook up with your friend’s little sister. That was an unspoken rule. Oh, crap, was this how Probie felt when Tony flirted with his little sister? This was so much worse than just a little harmless flirting though.
Jimmy and Olivia had been sneaking around behind Tony’s back all this time. Olivia had left evidence of it along Jimmy’s neck for months now. The thought of his little sister doing that to Jimmy made Tony feel sick to his stomach. He’d spent all that time teasing Jimmy over the hickies unaware that Olivia was the culprit behind all those lovebites. The fact that Tony had made jokes about “lady gremlin being frisky” had made him feel sick. Not to mention Tony had made plenty of jokes about the suggested hotness of Jimmy’s little lady friend and all the experience she must have. The fact that Olivia was the Lady Gremlin made Tony’s skin crawl.
Olivia had lied to Tony’s face more than once over this past year. The fact that his sister who he loved more than anyone on the planet had lied to his face hurt the most.
Tony had definitely noticed that his little sister and the Autopsy Gremlin were occasionally spending time together. He’d not been shy about interrogating Olivia over her new friendship with Jimmy. She’d always insisted that Jimmy was just a friend and that they only spent time together when Olivia needed a second opinion on whatever art piece she was working on at the time. She’d seemed so sincere about it all as she’d spoken to Tony. “Trust me, Jimmy is just helping me out and giving me some feedback on how the anatomy is looking on a few of my paintings. I’m really wanting to turn more of my focus towards painting, but I’m insecure about it. Photography was always my bigger focus back in school. You know getting the anatomy down has always been a weak point for me when it comes to painting. I want to make sure everything looks reasonable and realistic. Jimmy is a really excellent resource to have. He has such a deep understanding of the structure of a human body and he’s actually pretty artistically gifted as well. He’s shown me some of the sketches he’s done. He drew up this amazing sketch of a human heart. It looks so realistic and he really nailed all the fine details. So, he’s the perfect person for me to ask for some guidance. We just meet up for coffee occasionally and he helps me out in exchange for me buying him a pastry and giving him feedback on his own sketches. He’s self taught for the most part, so he really appreciates having the feedback from someone who went to school for art. It’s no big deal. He’s a nice guy, a little awkward, but still good enough company. We don’t even discuss anything but art.”
Tony of course hadn’t liked the idea of Olivia spending time with Jimmy even with her insistence that it was all perfectly innocent. She’d always been so insistent that it was just a friendship and nothing more.
To find out that she’d lied about everything between Jimmy and she was such a betrayal. She’d had so many opportunities to come clean about it all, and she’d taken not one of them.
Tony had been so upset and he’d wanted Olivia to hurt just as badly as she’d hurt him. Tony had always been gifted when it came to really going for the jugular during fights. He could find a weak spot in whoever he was fighting with and destroy them emotionally. He could find your biggest insecurity and use it to break you. Tony guessed he’d learned it from his father. Dinozzo Senior had always had a way of using people’s insecurities to drag them down and Tony guessed that the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.
The realization that he’d been no better than his father made Tony feel sick. He’d always sworn he’d be nothing like Dinozzo Senior.
Maybe this anger had been building for a while. Tony would be lying if he tried to say that he didn’t feel some resentment for his sister deep down inside.
After all it seemed as though Olivia Sofia Dinozzo could do no wrong in Dinozzo Senior’s eyes. No matter how much she fucked up Dinozzo Senior kept feeding her trust fund and cleaning up her messes at least when it came to situations where he thought the answer was “throw money at it”.
No, Dinozzo Senior hadn’t exactly given Olivia the affection and adoration that most father’s gave their daughters, but he still had never cut her off.
Tony had been cut off from the family fortune for the simple sin of wanting to go his own way. He hadn’t wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps and join the family business. Tony had wanted to go into law enforcement in some capacity and forge his own path. This choice had been unacceptable to Dinozzo Sr. After all Tony was his only son, his namesake. Tony rejecting the expected path of following in his father’s footsteps had been enough of an unforgivable sin to be cut off financially and tossed out into the world to fend for himself.
Olivia had never been given that treatment. Even when she’d decided to pursue art Dinozzo Sr. hadn’t cut her off.
Of course, Tony knew that there were different expectations for him and his sister. Dinozzo Sr. had made that obvious.
Tony was expected to follow in his father’s footsteps and maintain the family name. Olivia was expected to be quiet, look pretty, and eventually marry someone of equal social status.
Dinozzo Senior had seen her artistic endeavors as something to placate her and keep her busy until she found a well-to-do man to marry. He’d seen it as a passing fancy and not a serious way for her to make a career.
She was expected to marry one of her father’s friend’s sons and be a some entitled rich kid's wife. She was expected to keep up the Dinozzo family tradition of keeping up one's social status. She was expected to be the pretty socialite who went to charity functions and kept her mouth shut.
Olivia had rebelled against this of course, but her resistance to playing happy socialite hadn’t been met with the same harshness Tony’s choice to go his own way had been met with.
Deep down Tony knew that Olivia had been failed by their father just as much as he had. She may have had the advantage of not being cut off but she hadn’t had the freedom. Tony had been given the freedom but not the security of the family fortune.
Dinozzo Sr. had turned a blind eye to his daughter’s indiscretions and multitude of fuck ups. He’d ignored her cries for help and taken the path of just giving her more money instead of actually addressing the problem.
Tony was always the one who looked out for her. After all, he adored his sister.
He could remember that when she was born he’d been allowed to come home from boarding school for a week, most likely Olivia’s mother’s attempts to merge the family before she’d realized that Dinozzo Sr. wasn’t a family man. Still though Tony had adored Olivia from the moment he saw her for the first time. He’d been almost a decade older than her, but he’d still adored her so dearly. He’d been so delighted to have a baby sister.
He hadn’t acted the way most older brothers had. He may have pestered her but he never treated her like she was a pain or a burden. If anything he’d always treated her like a little princess, always doting on her and giving into her wants
When their father and her mother had divorced Tony had been despondent fearing he’d never see his sister again. After all, Dinozzo Sr. most likely wasn’t the type to seek out visitation.
When Olivia’s mother had died so suddenly and she’d been sent back to Dinozzo Sr., Tony had been left with a feeling of guilt convinced his heartache over the possibility of never seeing Olivia again had resulted in fate deciding to force her back into his life. Perhaps he’d been so desperate to have his sister back in the family home that fate had heard him and decided to “help” him out.
He knew it was irrational to think that Olivia’s mother’s death had been fate tipping in his favor instead of a terrible accident. Tony had been a teenager when it had happened, but he’d still been young enough to fear that perhaps this had somehow been all his fault.
He guessed that perhaps that sense of guilt had made him overcompensate when it came to his relationship with Olivia.
He made sure to include her in his interests, sharing his favorite movies with her and covering for her when she’d gotten herself into trouble.
He’d set a precedent of always emotionally supporting her and looking out for her, almost as though he was her father instead of her brother.
There had been several times over the years where Tony had seriously feared for her safety. He’d dreaded late night phone calls unsure if it would be his scared sister calling for his help or someone calling to tell him she was hurt or worse dead.
Olivia had made impulsive stupid choices and surrounded herself with people who were making far worse choices.
Olivia may have had the security of the family fortune but she’d never really felt secure. She’d never felt peace with herself. She’d always been troubled. Even when she was a child, she’d been so starved for love. She’d always searched for affection and security from other sources realizing she wasn’t getting it from her father.
She found herself clinging to men who didn’t even care about her. They were more interested in getting in her pants than actually loving her. She found herself attaching herself to anyone who gave her even the smallest bit of attention and praise. She didn’t care if the affection only lasted one night. She just seemed so starved for acceptance.
She remained in toxic friendships with people who didn’t actually care about her. She’d figured any company was better than being left alone with her thoughts. She convinced herself that they understood her because they’d come from the same social circles and had the same familial issues. She’d ignored red flags telling herself that it was nothing to worry about.
Tony had been relieved that she’d at least stayed away from anything harder than alcohol and pot. She hadn’t stayed away from her friends though and her friends hadn’t stayed away from much harder substances.
Tony lost count of the nights where he’d gone out searching for her through nightclubs and penthouse parties. He’d lost count of the times he’d dragged her from some house party pretending that he didn’t notice the lines of cocaine her friends were indulging in. He’d pretended that getting phone calls from her where she was drunk and needed him to come get her was just a normal part of his Friday night.
Anytime he’d pressed the issue and confronted her about her friend’s behavior or her reckless choices she’d brushed off his concerns.
The conversation always went the same. She always had the same responses. She’d always been so fast to insist. “I’m a big girl Tony. I’m perfectly capable of handling myself. I’m not an idiot. I don’t touch the hard stuff. My friends have offered but I have no interest in it. I know that stuff ruins you. I only smoke the occasional joint and I drink, but nothing more. Trust me, I’m fine. I know you do it because you love me but trust me you don’t have to worry so much about me. I’m okay. Please, don’t freak out on me and act like I’m some kind of junkie. I’m fine, It’s not a big deal. I’m still young, I’m supposed to be out having a good time. I’m maintaining my coursework and managing my life fine.”
She’d always paused before speaking again pointing out the obvious. “Besides you don’t have much room to lecture me about the company I keep or my indiscretions, especially when we both know you have a revolving door of women in your life and you so aren’t the poster boy for clean living. It’s hypocritical to lecture me about my bad choices.”
There was only so much Tony could do. After all she was a grown woman. Even when she was still a teenager making the same choices his hands had been tied. Dinozzo Sr. had been her guardian and he wasn’t going to do a thing about it. So Tony had been left doing what he could do for her as she’d entered her early twenties and continued to make the same bad choices.
There was only so much you could do for someone who clearly was not interested in changing.
He hadn’t seen it as enabling her. He’d seen it as giving her a lifeline.
He’d made sure she had his phone number programmed into her cell phone and had made sure she knew she could call him anytime no matter how late it was and no matter what situation she was in.
She’d always called him when it became too much and Tony had counted it as a small victory. At least she called him to come get her instead of sticking out bad situations. He was was able to collect her from danger and he knew she was safe.
When she’d finally hit rock bottom it had been a relief.
A friend’s drug overdose had been enough to scare her into admitting she needed to change. She’d admitted that she was scared and in over her head and she needed help.
It had been painful but for the first time Tony felt like he could breathe. She was safe and she was going to be okay.
He’d helped her straighten her life out. She’d started therapy and had kicked the party lifestyle. She’d dropped her toxic friends and awful boyfriends and had gotten her head on straight. She’d thrown herself into her art and had managed to find some freelance work that had allowed her to travel.
Sure, Tony had worried about her traveling but she’d kept in contact with him calling him at least once a week. She’d seemed so much lighter and so much happier. She’d actually been at peace with being on her own. It seemed as though she’d finally dropped her unhealthy coping mechanisms. She’d seemed to be at peace with herself.
When Olivia had announced to Tony that she’d found a local job and would be moving to the Virginia DC area it had been a relief. He’d have her close by where he could keep a closer eye on her.
He had thought having her so close by so near his support would be good for her.
He’d never imagined that having her in the same city would mean having her hook up with one of his coworkers.
What could she even possibly see in Jimmy? Of all the guys she could have gone for she went for the Autopsy Gremlin?
What about him was even slightly appealing to her? When Tony thought of Jimmy he saw an awkward mess of a human being. Jimmy with his tendency to slouch, and his all too large ears and thin lips. Jimmy with the same out of style glasses he’d been wearing since college. Jimmy who had the ghoulish career path and the less than appropriate sense of humor. Jimmy who honestly seemed like a total nerd. Jimmy so didn’t seem like the type of guy Olivia usually went for.
What did they even have in common?
Was this just the old Olivia making a reappearance, going for anyone who showed her affection? This did seem to follow her M.O.
Tony didn’t think anyone could blame him for assuming the worst given what he knew about his sister’s past approach to romance.
Then again Olivia and Jimmy had both seemed so sincere. Jimmy definitely didn’t seem to be the kind of guy to use a girl for a good time. Jimmy seemed to be more the type to be grateful for any kind of female attention. Tony didn’t think this was just a case of Olivia using Jimmy; attaching herself to him because she knew he’d give her all the affection and loyalty on the planet.
If anything, it all seemed to be the real deal. Jimmy did seem sincere in his declarations of love for Olivia. Maybe that meant Olivia was just as sincere?
Maybe Tony had been wrong?
Still though that didn’t excuse the lies. Still though, the lies didn’t excuse his reaction.
A little voice in the back of Tony’s brain told him that if he loved Olivia half as much as he claimed to, didn’t he owe it to her to at least hear her out? Didn’t she deserve a little trust?
Would she even want to speak to him now though? Now that he’d upset her, chances are she wouldn’t want to hear from him anytime soon.
Tony groaned at the thought. He’d really screwed up and he wasn’t sure if there was a way of fixing it.
He made a last ditch effort reaching for his cell, typing up the text message knowing it was better than nothing.
“We need to talk.”
He tossed his cell down on his sofa knowing he had a snowball’s chance in hell of actually hearing anything back, but he didn’t know what to do.
He’d made his bed and now he had to lie in it.
……………………………………………………………………………………
Jimmy could admit he felt so lost. He’d been putting on a brave face for Olivia’s sake. He’d thrown himself face first into soothing her and doting on her, trying his best to make her feel loved and reassured.
He felt so lost though. He didn’t know how to fix any of this. Wasn’t he partially to blame for this entire mess?
He should have manned up a long time ago. He should have reassured Olivia that it was okay to tell Tony about them. He should have put his foot down and insisted that they tell Tony about their relationship a long time ago.
He’d been so resistant to do so though. He’d told himself that he needed to follow Olivia’s lead on this.
Now he had to watch Olivia cry over their failures.
He could have saved her so much heartache had he just insisted that they step up and tell Tony everything consequences be damned. Sure Tony might have freaked out, he may have even punched Jimmy, but at least the truth would have been revealed on their own terms.
Jimmy knew that he should have cast aside his doubts and fears and just told Tony everything. He could have convinced Olivia to come clean and they could have been saved from this heartache.
Jimmy knew it was too little too late though. They had made their bed and now they were lying in it.
That didn’t erase the guilt he felt over this entire situation though.
His head felt like a mess as he laid in her bed Olivia’s sleeping form in his arms. At least he’d gotten her to fall asleep but there had still been plenty of tears from Olivia all day. When he’d thought she might have run out of tears she somehow found more.
He knew her heart was so broken.
Tony Dinozzo had always been Olivia’s hero. She’d admitted that much to Jimmy. Jimmy had always appreciated being able to see Tony through Olivia’s eyes. She’d described a big brother who would give her the world if she asked for it. She’d described a man who fretted over her and taught her to throw her first punch. She’d described a man who had taught her to drive and had snuck her into her first R rated movie. She’d talked about how heartbroken she’d been when their father had disowned Tony. She’d talked about how Tony had still made an effort to keep in contact with her even if he was out of contact with Dinozzo Sr. Tony had never forgotten her even after he’d been cast out into the world by their father with out a safety net.
She talked about Tony with such reverence. She’d described a man who doted on her and shared such a tight bond with her. It had always been Tony and her against the world, or at least Tony and her against Dinozzo Sr.
Tony was the one who had always shown her unconditional love. She’d never been able to expect unconditional love from Dinozzo Sr. Her father was more the type to remind his children that his love had terms and conditions. Tony had never made her feel as though his love for her had any sort of conditions though. The fact that her brother loved her had always been an absolute understanding. No matter what she did, Olivia knew that her brother would always love her.
The words he’d said to her tonight though, had shown her that the love Tony felt wasn’t as unconditional as she’d believed.
He had let out so much resentment for her, so much bitterness for all the times he’d had to rescue her from herself. He had thrown her past right in her face and insinuated that she was just picking back up all her old habits. He’d insinuated that what she had with Jimmy was nothing more than her falling into bed with Jimmy because he gave her some sense of approval. Tony had ignored her insistence that she had changed for the better.
Tony told her she was too much to put up with and too hard to love. He could have shot her and it would have been less painful than hearing those words.
Jimmy was left feeling trapped between rage towards Tony and heartbreak for Olivia.
Jimmy had done the only thing he could think to do for her. He’d taken a good long bath with her knowing that baths were always a place of comfort for Olivia. She’d even confessed to him that the main reason she’d signed a lease on this apartment in particular was the massive soaking tub that had been recently installed into the bathroom.
She’d always loved baths and she’d taught Jimmy to enjoy them as well. She���d had to do very little coaxing to talk him into joining her in a bath the first time. He’d had to admit it was pretty nice. He was pretty sure if anyone ever accused him of being less than masculine for taking a bubble bath then he could very easily point out that he got to be in a warm bath with a beautiful nude woman pressed against him.
He’d adored taking baths with her enough that he’d even requested doing so on his birthday months ago. She’d definitely indulged him; sitting on the edge of the tub and washing his hair before joining him in the tub where she continued to pamper him. It had been the best birthday he’d ever had by far.
Today’s bath had been less of a joyous occasion though. She’d been quiet for the longest time Jimmy holding her against him running his hands along her body attempting to soothe her.
He’d done his best to keep her distracted, his voice soft and gentle. “Did I ever tell you the moment I realized I was in love with you?”
He’d spoken again as she shook her head, her voice soft “No.”
He’d continued to caress her skin, the memory still so fresh. “It was when we went to Virginia Beach. It was so hot, just ridiculously so. I didn’t have the heart to tell you I’m not too fond of the beach and that sand makes me all itchy. You seemed so excited about the beach and I decided I’d suffer through the beach if it made you happy. It was hard to be too annoyed when you looked so perfect. You wore that green bikini and those big sunglasses and that blue sundress. You looked so amazing and I felt like I didn’t look like I belonged by your side at all. I actually had a good time, even though we got way too overheated. We got cherry snow cones and sat under a beach umbrella to avoid the heat. I ate mine way too fast. It gave me an awful brain freeze and I’ll never forget what you did. You leaned up and pressed a kiss to my forehead. It was such a silly little action but it was the sweetest thing. I remember thinking I adored you at that moment. How could I not adore a girl whose first thought was to kiss my forehead because I had brain freeze. It hit me that I more than adored you, I loved you so much it almost took my breath away.”
“We hadn’t been dating for that long then. That was only our second official date after we’d confessed that we were into each other.” She spoke her voice soft. He nodded his head, his lips pressing to her neck as he responded.
“True, I was pretty enamored with you long before that though. I’m pretty sure some deep part of me knew that I loved you from the moment you stepped on the elevator that first day we met at NCIS. I don’t know if it was love at first sight, but I think it was a sense of belonging…like my heart knew it belonged with yours as stupid as that sounds. You met my eyes that day in the elevator and it’s like my heart knew that it was going to be you. I thought I was dumb for being so upset at the thought of never seeing you again…I mean we barely spoke that day. I thought maybe I was just lonely and you were so kind to me despite my awkwardness. So, maybe I just felt drawn to you out of loneliness and I’d forget about you before I even knew it….but then we met again at the park two weeks later and it just made me believe that my heart knew it was yours all the more. It was like it was fate pushing us towards each other. I don’t know if I fully believe in soulmates or what have you, but I think that maybe sometime way back before the universe was formed that maybe we were part of the same star or atom or whatever we were before we were us. How else can I explain how my heart knew it belonged to you?”
Olivia felt her eyes water this time for a completely different reason than the sorrow that had washed over her all day long.
She felt even more come as Jimmy spoke, needing to say the words. “No matter what happens with Tony, the fact that my heart belongs to yours is never going to change. I love you Oli, I don’t care what anyone has to say about it. I promise you the fact that I love you will never change.”
“I love you too.” She managed to work out, turning to snuggle a little closer to him despite the awkward angle she had to turn her body in the bath to make this happen.
Jimmy managed to wipe her tears relieved that the bubbles in the bath had disappeared enough to not leave soap behind on his hands.
He managed to speak knowing it wasn’t the first time he’d said the words today but he knew she needed to keep hearing them. “Tony is wrong. You aren’t hard to love. You’ve never been too much for me. I cannot begin to express just how wrong Tony was about everything he had to say.”
She managed to speak her voice so weak. “He resents me. I put him through hell for years. I was a mess and he had to clean up after me. We’ve never really talked about it…I put him through hell and scared him. I never made my amends with him for any of it. I know he already resented me because our dad never cut me off. Senior let me get away with a lot. I don’t know if Senior didn’t cut me off out of some weird form of paternal love or maybe just to keep face with his friends and avoid the shame of having two disowned kids. Either way I know Tony resents me for it. Tony got cut off for way less than I ever pulled. Tony still cleaned up my messes and supported me though. I know he was so scared for me for so long.”
“That doesn’t mean he has the right to throw it in your face as some attempt to hurt you because he’s pissed off. You made mistakes but you’ve changed. I don’t see a trace of the girl he described. Frankly I don’t care that you were that girl. I know who you are now. I understand why you were that girl Oli. I mean, you know we’ve talked about my issues with my own dad…I understand why you did what you did…Hurt people hurt themselves. It doesn’t change how I feel about you. You’ve been honest with me about that part of your life. Knowing about your past choices has never given me any hesitation when it comes to being with you. You may have given Tony hell but he doesn’t have the right to make you feel awful for it when you’ve worked so hard to do better.” Jimmy insisted trying his best to make her understand.
Why’d she make excuses for Tony? Surely she didn’t think she’d deserved any harshness from him?
He let out a shaky breath unable to stop himself from saying it. “If Tony was here right now I’d tell him exactly what I think about what he had to say to you. It was wrong and he was out of line. I don’t care how upset he was. You didn’t deserve that.”
Olivia spoke knowing she sounded so desperate pleading with him. “Don’t confront him Jimmy. Please, just leave it. I just, it won’t do any good to confront him about any of this. Please, just leave it…for me.”
Jimmy sighed knowing he had no choice. He’d do anything for her. It was his greatest downfall. “Okay, I promise. I’ll leave it.”
Jimmy did intend on leaving it. He knew that he couldn’t betray her request to just leave it be.
He loved her far too much to go against her requests.
It was because he loved her that seeing her so heartbroken hurt him so much.
He thought about calling his mother for some advice, but his mother wasn’t exactly aware of the secrecy surrounding Olivia’s and his relationship. The last thing he wanted to do was explain the situation to his mom.
So, Jimmy did the only thing he could think to do. He left her sleeping form and picked up his cell phone deciding to call the closest thing to a father he had.
He cringed realizing how late it was judging by the sleepy tone to Dr. Mallard’s voice. “Mr. Palmer? Is something wrong?”
Jimmy let out a sigh as he took a seat on the arm of a sofa in Olivia’s living room. He felt the words leave him knowing that there was no point in beating around the bush. “Tony found out about Olivia and me.”
“And I’m guessing by the tone of your voice that Agent Dinozzo didn’t find out on your terms?” Dr. Mallard replied, easily catching on.
Jimmy rubbed his eyes the stress of the day making his head ache. “He showed up to her apartment unannounced and I walked into the room…it was clear by our appearance that we couldn’t just explain away what I was doing there.”
He paused his cheeks flushing, relieved that he had found a way to explain the scene without having to go too in depth. He was sure that mentioning anything surrounding his sex life to his mentor was something he could live without.
He spoke again, another sigh leaving him. “Tony was…angry. I can take him being upset with me…I’d rather he just have hit me…the way he spoke to Olivia. He threw a few things from her past in her face…things she’s ashamed of. She’s so hurt. I just feel so guilty. I should have insisted we come clean to Tony a long time ago. I could have saved her so much pain had I convinced her to let us tell Tony the truth a long time ago.”
“You were doing what you felt was right Mr. Palmer. The woman you love asked you to keep a secret and you couldn’t deny her request. Men in love have done far more foolish things throughout history.” Dr. Mallard insisted.
He spoke again before Jimmy had a chance to respond. “As far as Tony goes, he will have to live with the consequences of lashing out at Olivia.”
Jimmy let out another sigh nodding his head his voice tight. “Olivia doesn’t want me to confront him about it. I feel like an awful boyfriend letting him speak to her like that without confronting him about it. I don’t care what he does to me, I just want him to know that he doesn’t have the right to talk to her that way. I don’t care if he’s her brother, he has no right making her cry.”
“If Olivia has asked you to stand by, you’d be wise to listen to her. Trust me, Mr. Palmer, upsetting the woman who knows where you sleep at night isn’t advisable. Just ask Agent Gibbs or one of his ex wives.” Dr. Mallard pointed out causing a small smile to at least cross Jimmy’s lips.
He nodded his head, a sense of relief washing over him as Dr. Mallard spoke again. “The only thing you can do in the meantime is offer reassurance to Olivia. From the sparse time I have been able to spend with Miss. Dinozzo and you together, I do think it’s very apparent she does love you deeply. She just needs to be reminded that you feel the same for her.”
“I do, I love her so much.” Jimmy admitted not hesitating to say it more sure of the words each time he said them.
“Then keep loving her. Let Tony sort through his emotions. His actions are not your responsibility.” Dr. Mallard pointed out Jimmy nodding his head in agreement.
Ducky was right, Jimmy knew it.
He couldn’t force Tony to make amends with Olivia. The only thing he could do was provide Olivia with the reassurance she needed.
He just hoped and prayed that he could give her enough to soothe her heartache.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Olivia had thought that after a few days she’d start feeling more like herself, but she actually felt miserable.
It had to be stress. She was so distressed that she was making herself sick. It had to be the stress.
The stress was becoming overwhelming enough that she’d been getting sick to her stomach though. This was new. She’d never had stress give her this reaction. Then again, she’d never had a huge argument with her brother either.
Sure, there had been times where Tony had irritated the ever loving crap out of her, but they’d never had a falling out like this.
Tony had texted her once since the weekend, but only once and she had no idea how to interpret his text “We need to talk.”
Hadn’t he done enough talking for them both?
She knew it might be petty, but she’d refused to acknowledge the text message.
She couldn’t force herself to acknowledge it. Responding to it would just lead to more heartbreak.
She’d never dreamed Tony could hurt her. He was the last person she ever believed could hurt her.
He had though. He’d been so cruel. He wouldn’t even shut up for one second and hear Jimmy and her out. Sure, they had fucked up keeping their relationship from him, but that didn’t give him the right to throw every mistake she’d ever made right back in her face.
What had hurt her the most was the implication that this entire thing had just been sex with Jimmy. Yes, Olivia knew she hadn’t exactly always slept with men in the confines of it being within a relationship. She wasn’t ashamed of it.
Tony was completely hypocritical to bring it up though. He wasn’t the poster boy for commitment. He was the one who had a string of never ending sexual partners.
Why was it such a sin for her to have had hook ups in the past? It wasn’t as though Tony had some false belief that she was a virgin.
She resented that Tony would basically imply what he’d implied, even going as far as to ask her why she hadn’t taken McGee to bed while she was at it. If Tony was going to call her a slut, then Olivia would prefer that he had the balls to just come out and say it.
It hurt to think that Tony seemed to think she was incapable of finally finding a stable relationship with someone who loved her so genuinely. Jimmy loved her without any hesitation or fear. Once it had become clear to him that she saw him as far more than just a friend he’d been so unafraid to love her.
Why was that so hard for Tony to wrap his brain around?
Did she really give off the aura that she was so undeserving or far too unstable for love?
Did he really resent her that much?
As the days went on her sorrow molded into anger and back into heartbreak and then back into anger all over again.
She’d at least finally forced Jimmy to go back to work this morning. He’d missed two days of work insisting that Dr. Mallard would understand and Jimmy had plenty of PTO anyway.
She knew he was just worried about her. He’d spent the entire weekend and two days now doting over her and fretting over her.
He’d become even more distressed when she’d puked yesterday and once again this morning. It was just the stress she’d reassured him, but he still seemed so worried.
She was amazed that he hadn’t defied her insistence that he go to work this morning after she’d vomited.
She’d only managed to get him to leave the house with the reassurance that she would call him the second she started feeling nauseous again.
Of course he’d texted her several times during the day thus far until his final text had read that Dr. Mallard was making him stop now but please call him at his lunch break.
Olivia had decided to at least take Jimmy’s ban from texting her as a sign that she should at least try to clean up her apartment a little.
She’d managed to get someone to cover her at work, deciding that teaching kids to make ceramics probably wasn’t advisable when she felt a little nauseous. The concept of going near squishy clay made her stomach turn.
She was a little saddened to miss out on it, after all she loved her job teaching art classes at a local community center.
Most of the time she taught kids and the elderly given that was who seemed to take the most interest in the art classes she’d been hired to teach at this particular community center. It was still an enjoyable job though.
No, she didn’t exactly need to work given her trust fund gave her more than enough money to live off of and focus on her art fulltime, but she loved the routine of having a job. She liked having a routine.
She’d actually come to love her life here after spending a few years constantly travelling with her last job.
It felt good to stay in one place and have one job at the same location. It felt good to have the routine of waking up every morning and knowing exactly what her day would bring.
She had a distinct feeling that Jimmy helped aid into her satisfaction with this period of her life.
He’d definitely made her life seem all the brighter. Even with all the events of the past few days and her falling out with her brother, Olivia was more than sure that Jimmy made her world a brighter place. She loved him enough that she was sure he was worth any amount of stress.
She tried her best to pull her mind from her troubles, choosing instead to focus on cleaning knowing that her apartment had become a bit of a mess over these past few days. Jimmy and she really hadn’t felt up to actually leaving the apartment. They’d been more focused on trying to reassure one another and heal from the events of the weekend.
It was high time to give the place a good deep clean. Besides, cleaning always did help her cope with her anxieties.
She started with the bathroom knowing it was always her least favorite part of the process of housework.
It wasn’t until she was down on her knees sorting through the contents under the bathroom sink that she came across a particular box of items that made her heart drop.
She stared down at the box of tampons in her hand, a sudden realization hitting her. She was late. No, she wasn’t too terribly late, but still late enough to give her pause.
She knew everyone insisted that they ran like clockwork and everyone else insisted that wasn’t possible, but she was pretty sure ran as close to being like clockwork as possible. She had at least some concept of how her cycle ran most of the time.
It would explain a lot a little voice in the back of her brain exclaimed; the nausea, the exhaustion…the late period.
Jimmy and she used protection though…then again hadn’t they occasionally had their little slip ups?
She felt her heart begin to slam in her chest as she tried her best to remember every single sexual experience they’d had over the past few months.
Olivia groaned it hitting her that there was only one way to figure this all out.
She stood up dropping the box of tampons, her mind going on autopilot as she made her way out to the living room searching for her car keys.
Soon enough she would know the truth.
………………………………………………………
Olivia had never imagined that she’d find herself in a bathroom at a CVS with a comically large bottle of lemonade and a plastic bag filled with pregnancy tests.
It would be amusing if it was happening to anyone but her.
She debated calling Jimmy and explaining her current situation but she couldn’t imagine how to even begin to have that conversation over the phone “So how’s Dr. Mallard? How’s Autopsy today? Anything interesting happening because oh, boy on my end things sure have gotten interesting. I’ve peed on three pregnancy tests and I don’t even know where I found the pee in my bladder to manage it!”
She was pretty sure that wasn’t how you were supposed to have the “don’t freak out but we may be pregnant” talk with your boyfriend.
This couldn’t be happening, not now. This was so not the time for this.
Jimmy and she had barely even broached the subject of having kids. The few times they’d discussed it they had been in agreement that it was something they both wanted but it had always been framed as something that would happen in the future.
Hell, they’d not even shared news of their relationship with her brother, so any talk of kids was always framed as some far off idea of what they might want in the future or what they pictured in a future together.
She had zero doubts in her mind that Jimmy Palmer would be an incredible father. He was an incredible boyfriend after all. He was far too sweet to be anything less than amazing. He just had that personality; that gentle heart that had made her fall for him in the first place. The man was a sweetheart. He loved kids and he loved her. Men like Jimmy were made to be fathers.
Olivia would be lying if she tried to pretend that the idea of having his baby didn’t make her feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
It just was absolutely the worst time possible for this to be happening.
Sure Olivia had met Jimmy’s family and it was clear that their relationship was serious. Things were just so complicated though.
Jimmy hadn’t met Dinozzo Sr…not that that was a bad thing but still…she might be pregnant and her father didn’t even know he existed.
Jimmy and Olivia didn’t even live together.
Where would they put a crib? Their apartments were only one bedroom. Would they have to get a new place?
Oh God, what would Tony do?
He was pissed off enough when it had come out that Jimmy was dating her, so what was he going to do if it came out that Jimmy had knocked her up while he was at it?
Olivia felt her blood run cold when the alarm she’d set on her cell phone chimed notifying her that it was time.
She took a deep breath trying to calm her nerves as she picked up the first test with a shaky hand
She stared at it, her brain suddenly struggling to make sense of the blue plus on the screen in front of her.
She picked up the other test sorting through the instructions trying to make sense of the result on this test her stomach turning as she realized just what it meant.
It meant the same thing that the other two tests were telling her.
She was so screwed.
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chainsxwsmile · 6 years
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A quick question: I use the program Medibang Paint to do digital art, and I'm really struggling with layers. I don't know how to use different layers for colours/lines/items of clothing etc What would you recommend?
If Medibang is anything like Photoshop, here’s a (brief and rudimentary) tutorial about how I handle my layers! I’ll be using my OC Serena:
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1). Never sketch on the Background. I mean, you CAN but its easier if you don’t. Generally, you can’t erase too easily on the Background and it tends to have a bunch of components that make doing such a hassle, i.e. you can’t really move and select the sketch easily. Make a new Layer 1. You can have multiple sketch layers. There’s no wrong way! For simplicity’s sake, I’m just gonna use one. 
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2). Lower the opacity of the sketch layer, and then make a new layer for your line art!
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3). Once finished with your line art, click the eye icon to turn off the visibility of the sketch layer to help make things less cluttered on your screen.
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4). Using the Magic Wand Tool, select the area of the line art you want to color. We’ll start with the skin.
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5). Select -> Modify -> Expand 
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6). I prefer 1-pixel expansion. It tends to get most of the areas…
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7) But not all. Zoom in and select the missing pixels. Computers aren’t perfect. 
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8) Make a new layer underneath the line art layer. Name it skin-flat (or whatever) and fill in the color in that layer! Even after you’ve filled in the color, there may be some uncolored spots. Be careful to check around for those. 
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9) To add details to a flat color, check the LOCK box (like adding blush, or scars in this case)
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10) For quick-color selections, select the OUTSIDE of the line art, go to INVERSE and then color using a brush tool in a layer under SKIN-FLAT named CLOTHES.
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11). HAIR TIME! Since the line art isn’t as straight, there may be some pixels that need selecting. Toggle the INVERSE selections to include any stray pixels. Underneath CLOTHES, create a new layer named HAIR. Color in with a brush tool. 
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12) Keep the selection on if you want to add some details to the hair. I added a new layer above HAIR called HAIR DETAILS and added Serena’s dyed colors, and mixed it to a texture using the mixer brush. 
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13) Beneath the SKIN-FLAT layer, create a DETAIL layer. You can use this one to fill in the eye whites, teeth color, and earrings or other needed details. [If you want to add something like eye shines, create a new layer named SHINE above the LINE ART layer, and add them. Eye shines are optional, but tend to make the eyes look more alive!]
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14) Organize flats. I make a folder and drag the flat color layers into the folder in their designed order, so the layers folder is less cluttered!
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15) SHADOW TIME! Create a new layer above the flats and below the line art. For quick shadows, make a selection using the lasso tool and pick what color you want as a shadow color. Either fill in using the gradient tool (used here) or the fill bucket. 
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At first, it should come out like you just put pink on top of the image. But if you change the layer property to MULTIPLY, you should get a richer, darker shadow!
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16) HIGHLIGHTS! Create a layer below the SHADOW layer. For simplicity, I’ll just use a gradient tool and a yellow color. Now, this CAN look nice as is, but I tend to make the main lighting source a bit more subtle. Change the layer property on HIGHLIGHT layer from Normal to Soft Light. 
For environmental lighting, I use thinner lines on the other side of the light source, where the light could be bouncing off of the objects around Serena. I tend to favor using blue and use the strong Lighten property, with 47% opacity.
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17) Now, I merge the FLATS. Right click on the folder, and click Merge Group. 
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18) To get rid of the outside shadows and highlight mess, go to the FLATS layer (all flat colors merged together) and select the OUTSIDE of the colors (the white-space). Use the eraser tool, and go to each layer to erase the shadows and lightings outside of Serena. 
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19) If you want something a little extra, LOCK the line art layer and color the line art using the brush tool. 
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And THERE YOU HAVE IT! 
This only covers the main layers I tend to use in my drawings, but I recommend also experimenting with other layer properties as shadows / highlights etc. 
Hope this helped! -Chainsxwsmile
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grimmmons · 7 years
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Hi, I'm a young artist, and I've spent time teaching myself the basics of digital art, but I'm wondering how you draw like you did in the grimmons picture of them in the closet. Because I'm not sure if that's painting or something else. But it looks cool and I love how textured and beautiful your colored works are, I'd love to learn how to draw/color that ways as well because I think my current form of coloring is too flat. Do you have anything specific you do, or any tutorials or advice?
hi! first off, thanks!! to put it simply, most of my fully coloured stuff starts off as a drawing, and then gets painted on over the top, with a textured brush and some photoshop layering effects. a more detailed run down is under the cut!
I’ll just preface this by saying that this is just how I do things, and is in no way the best or most effective way to give the impression of tone in your art, its just what works for me!
the way i get it to look textured is by using this brush + settings, 
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its nothin special, its just a default photoshop brush under M Brushes but it does the trick!
BONUS TIME I GUESS but heres the original sketch i started out with lmao
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i knew i was gonna mess with the colours a lot so i didn’t worry about getting them perfect, just enough to get the general idea. I will own up to forgetting grif’s skin stuff though that ones on me. 
okay i wont lie my painting technique is largely bullshit, but i think i make it work.
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this is just a basic breakdown of how i sort out shadows, highlights, etc.
1. fun fact: i abuse the shit out of the colour sliders. Adjustments>Hue/Saturation and >Colour Balance are what i usually use to sort out what basic lighting i’m going to have right from the get go. lighting helps really push the tone and makes it super super clear what you’re going for, even if you don’t get it completely realistic. This section has its lightness and saturation lowered, and has had a little bit of cyan added in colour balance. 
2. ok at this stage i’ve slided the colours but i kept it like this so the shading is easier to see. Multiply layers save my ass every fucking day. I go for a cool blue or purple, on a multiply layer, getting the shadows down. typically i use 3+ multiply layers to do the lightest to darkest shadows, and use different opacity brushes/eraser to get it smoother. 
3. heres a colour dodge layer for highlights, but sometimes it’ll be linear dodge just depending on my mood/ what looks better. again, using different opacity brushes to softly shade.
when im happy with all the simpler shading stuff underneath the lineart, i group together all the layers, duplicate the folder, and then merge them ALL. Which is often a really risky way to do things, ESPECIALLY if i forget to duplicate the layers first, and considering i don’t save duplicate files super often it means if i want to change something major i’m FUCKED but i’m getting better at duplicating stuff and making like checkpoints i guess. But yeah most of my paintings are done on one, maybe two or three layers how nuts is that. 
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painting at this stage is just kind of experience really, to keep colours consistent ill eye drop tool a colour from elsewhere in the painting to where i think i need it. A tip i guess is try to use a lower opacity brush rather than the blending tool if you want softer shading. Photoshop’s blend tool, in my experience, kind of just blurs whatever section you use it on and its not very strong. That’s more of a personal preference thing though! 
At this stage i still use multiply/colour dodge/linear dodge layers to really get the lighting how i want, and then merge whatever layer down so i can smooth it out.  
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its from a different piece but this is kinda how my painting process goes. 
another thing i use to imply form are lines! here an example bc its easier just to show.
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see how the lines of grifs arm hair + their scars kind of curve around their arms? that helps round the shapes out. 
OKAY I hope this helps and wasn’t just filled with useless nonsense, if you have absolutely any questions about this LONG ASS tutorial or anything else just shoot me an ask! I don’t know if it is but ill always try to offer good advice. 
Thank you for reading this far! Here’s a bonus! Have a good day!
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