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shera-dnd · 3 years

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So ya girl failed miserably at taking part in the frostbyte week when she promised to, so to compensate I'm joining ROSEBIRD WEEK! And of course I'm starting with the freaking angst, because this little fic is for day 3: Gried/Regret

Hope y'all enjoy it.

Of all her journeys in these past couple of years, Ruby Rose found the trek back to Patch to be the most difficult stretch. Not because she was being hunted, not because the weather was foul, not because she got lost. But because of where she was going, and why.

She was returning to the place where her journey began, that lonely gravestone overlooking the forests below, and for once the journey was peaceful. There had been no accidents, no attacks, only a quiet and all too lonely trek through the woods...just so she could say goodbye to her mom.

So when she stepped out of the treeline, she was surprised to find that she wasn’t the only one there; perched atop her mother’s grave was a single black bird with red eyes. It looked at her curiously, but made no motion to leave.

Ruby was slow and cautious in her approach, not wanting to provoke the bird. Thankfully it did not seem to mind her much, only caring to give the most minimal of glances in her direction once she had stepped close to the gravestone.

“Hey there, little guy,” she tried to greet it, to no response, “are you here to talk to her too?”

The bird cawed at her, but did not move.

“It’s just that...I was expecting to do this alone,” no response. Okay, guess she’s gonna have to do this with some extra company then.

She sighed and slumped to her knees, but tried to keep a positive attitude. A skill that she had more than mastered after these past few years.

“I guess I could use some company,” she commented casually, “so…did you know her?”

The raven looked at her funny, but did not respond.

“I guess not,” Ruby shrugged, “well, she was my mom, and she was the best mom anyone could ask for. She was sweet, and kind, and brave. She would bake us cookies, and then go fight giant monsters,” she couldn’t help but smile as those old memories came back to her, “she was incredible.”

Until other memories came flooding too.

“Even when bad people tried to take her away, even when they tried to make her as bad as them…even then she kept fighting. She fought because she wanted to make the world a safer place,” she could still hear that voice, completely distorted, but still hers, “for me, for Yang...for all of us.”

Fingernails dug into her palms, and her eyes burned with tears she refused to shed. She was just talking about her. She hadn’t even said what she needed to say, she couldn’t start crying now.

She hadn’t realized that the bird was staring at her now, studying her intently as if it could understand every word she had said.

“I…I think you’d like her,” she spoke to the raven, trying to bring back some levity.

The bird seemed to finally have realized it was intruding - or more realistically just grew bored of her - and flew away, cawing a couple of times on its way out. Leaving Ruby alone with her mother.

A hand traced over the engravings on the stone. The symbol of a rose, her mother’s emblem, and also her own. Under it was her name, Summer Rose, and the words “Thus Kindly I Scatter”. Ruby had read those words to exhaustion, ran her hand over those engravings until she worried she might cause them to fade away, she had come to this grave to speak to her mother more times than she could have counted.

She knew her mother hadn’t been buried under that stone, she knew her body had never been recovered, but she could never have dreamed of what had happened to her, even in her worst nightmares. But even though her body wasn’t there, that single stone still brought her comfort, and she still came here for a reason.

“Hey, mom, it’s been a while,” she greeted, voice weak, “a lot happened since we last talked. Been to Mistral, Atlas, Vacuo, even outside space and time for a while,” she forced herself to chuckle at that one, “we met some new people, some good, some bad...most good, and we even made some friends too.”

Her hand shifted and she fidgeted with the hem of her skirt.

“I’m a huntress now, thought you’d like to know that. I also learned about the maidens, and the relics...and Salem. I know you probably didn’t want me to get involved in any of this, but once I knew what was at stake I couldn’t just sit back and let others suffer,” she tried to breathe, tried to center herself and calm down a little, but her breath was shaky, “I guess you would know how that feels...that’s why you kept going on missions, right? You couldn’t just sit back and let it happen.”

“I hope…,” no that wasn’t the right word, “...I think you’d be proud of us, mom.”

She hadn’t noticed when the tears had started, but she could feel them now, rolling down her cheeks and landing on the stone below. She also hadn’t noticed that the bird had returned.

“I know…I know you’re not really here. I know your body is out there, getting toyed with by Salem,” she flinched at the terrible memories that assaulted her, of her mother’s eyes staring from inside a beast’s maw, “but that thing isn’t you. My mom died trying to make the world a better place, she died protecting her family. My mom…” her hands were shaking, her vision was blurry and she sobbed, “my mom isn’t a monster! No matter what Salem does.”

Behind her stood the raven, large and menacing with her red armor, and a sword hanging from her side, though her posture was far from threatening. Tears that she had refused to shed for years now streamed uncontrollably down her face. One hand covered her mouth, trying to muffle any sobs that might try to escape it, and the other reached for the girl before her, quivering barely an inch above her shoulder.

She wanted to comfort her, show her that she wasn’t alone, but she couldn’t, not after all those horrible things she had done.

“I...I have to say goodbye now, mom,” Ruby continued, wiping her tears on the back of her sleeves, “for good. We’re going to fight Salem soon, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to come back, but I promise that no matter what happens…,” trembling hands clenched into fists, and her voice found the strength it had lost, “we won’t let her win! We’ll put your body to rest, and we’ll stop her no matter what! I know how powerful she is, but I also know that we can stop her, that we can make the world a safer place. And then...and then your sacrifice won’t have been in vain!”

The wind blew through her hair, the trees rustled behind her, Ruby sniffled, but there was no response. She knew there wouldn’t be any, but the silence was still heavy on her. It dragged on and on, allowing her fears and anxieties to return, to begin to dig away at what little confidence she had left. But before she was allowed to crumble again, the raven spoke.

“You sound just like her.”

Ruby had heard those words before, spoken by that same voice. Though the first time it had been stained by disdain and mockery, now it shook and trembled under the weight of soul crushing regret.

This time it sounded like grief.

She turned around to see her, to look the raven in the eye, but she was already gone, leaving behind only the silence, and a single black feather, slowly falling to the tear stained ground.

#rosebirdweek #rosebird week 2021 #rosebird #rwby #ruby rose #raven branwen

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 5 years

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CSUAVS... LAST PART? Guys, how do i end this?

Spending the afternoon with Coran, Lance had no idea where the vargas went. It's been around lunch time that Kre'el had passed, but by the time the others came up to the bridge, the sky outside was mostly painted in a deep purple. Hiding his holopad, Lance was still in shock from Kre'el passing. He'd cried into Coran's arms the tears he hadn't been able find when Keith was with him. Due to Kre'el's information, he had to make some hard decisions, and face some truths he didn't want to. He hadn't even realised he'd slipped into work mode until Coran had pointed it out to him while he typed up everything he could remember about what Kre'el had said. The other planet. The rest of her group. That weird alien who's name had started with "P". Coran was helping him put together what Kre'el had said because it wasn't fair to ask Keith to feel anything else but what he felt over Kre'el's death. If Keith had been there, he would have sided with him, listened to him... coddled him. This was a puzzle that Lance had spent so long on, dating back to when he was still tracking Klearo down. Together he and Coran had searched the star maps for likely planets. They'd searched the ship logs for any unusual signals going back to when the Telula first became his. The fact the ship had caused so many time anomalies was the basis for the their search as they complied a list of the most affected planets, and spaces where it was possible that another entrance such as the one to the outpost existed. Of course, all of this was a well educated guess. Lance able to rule out maybe a third of the planets on their list from having visited them to offer relief or chasing down a bounty. After spending most of his time asleep since arriving on Daibazaal it felt good to be doing something that could be actually helpful to Shiro and the Blades... even though he also knew that everything he was doing was a bandaid measure to hide the rest of his tears over Kre'el. Thoughts of all the "what ifs" were threatening to send him spiralling again. The itch beneath his skin to scratch or cut constantly niggled in the corner of his mind. It didn't matter how many times he told himself he wasn't that man anymore, the thought that he'd been right about being recorded while being tortured was almost too much. Work kept the memories from forcing their way forward... but as their work came to an end, the full force of the memories started to spread through him. The stain on his heart pumped through his bloodstream with every beat. He had a choice to make, and whatever he chose, the outcome was too heavy for him to take on alone.

Leaving Coran to decide it was time to return to the palace, his friends were ushered away as Lance remained in place. His weird "space uncle" hadn't only brought gifts for Daehra and ship, he'd also brought the names of two seperate therapists he thought Lance might be able to connect with. If ever he needed to talk to someone, or have someone talk him out of doing something incredibly stupid, it was probably about now. The anxiety gnawing at him was only growing worse. His temper flaring into something a kin to a tantrum as he threw his holopad down, and stalked from the bridge. Tearing at the collar of his shirt, he felt like he couldn't breathe. As if there was something inside of him bursting to get free. He wanted to run. Not as in fire up the Telula and take off, but run as in run until he couldn't breathe and there was nothing left in the world other than the feeling of accomplishment and fatigue. He'd been too scared to spar with everyone else in case he lost himself in his memories, plus regular scrapes and run ins with all kinds of people wanting you dead tended to keep one in shape... He hadn't had to do much of that lately. His extended recovery had left him feeling weaker...

Lance wasn't thinking of anything other than running. The nervous energy bubbling away. Jogging down the loading ramp, the moment his boot crunched on the gravel beneath his feet he was running. With no destination in mind, and no idea where he was going, he embraced the feeling.

Running himself until he couldn't breathe, Lance hunched forward his hands on his legs as he tried to suck down air. His body drenched in sweat as gave up on standing and threw himself down to lay on the middle of the road... or path. They were roughly the same size for no good reason, especially towards the outskirts of the inner city.

Staring up at the night sky, the content sigh about to form on Lance's lips evaporated as a long wet tongue dragged across his face as large paws landed on his chest

"Gargh! What the quiznak!? You're a menace!"

Yipping happily, Kosmo dumped his whole weight down on him

"What are you doing?! Where's your human!?"

"His human was still catching up"

Craning his head backwards, Keith was jogging along the path? he'd just sprinted up

"What are you doing here?"

"I saw you take off. I've been following you this whole time"

Lance fended off another attack from Kosmo, Keith coming around the side to wrestle with his wolf. Kosmo not giving up his human cushion. Wrapping his arms around the doper animal, Lance hauled him up as he sat up

"I didn't even notice you were there"

"I noticed. It didn't seem like a fleeing run, so I hung back. Everything alright?"

Not really. Kre'el was dead and now he'd stopped he was thinking about it... mostly because he didn't know how to talk to Keith about it

"Kind of. Coran and I got a fair few leads on potential planets that another opening could be near... How was your talk with Shiro?"

"Good. Ok... yeah. I went and talked to my team, then mum found me... I was coming back to see when I saw everyone leaving, except you"

"That's because I was... you know what, sit down. I can't talk to you while you're up there"

"Were in the middle of a road"

So this was a road? Not a path? Galra really needed street signs... or idiot signs

"No ones here. Besides, I'm still catching my breath. I got a bit carried away"

"You were running for the last varga. I'm not surprised"

A varga wasn't horrible. Letting himself flop back, Keith lowered himself to sit next to him, resting his hand on Lance's hair

"I feel like you've been thinking again, babe?"

"Mmm... that's because I have been"

How he'd snagged Keith would always remain a mystery to him

"I also have the feeling you're going to tell me you're taking off again"

Stupid Coran. He couldn't keep his mouth shut. Opening his mouth, he closed it again as he tried to pick his words. Sighing at him, Keith moved his hand away

"You just got here. You don't have to rush off into battle after battle... Can't you just... rest?"

Keith sounded hurt, and somewhat annoyed with him

"Did Coran tell you?"

"What? No. I haven't talked to him. You've got that look on your face like you've gone and decided something again"

That... That stung. Especially when Keith hadn't let him explain. Of course he'd decided something. That's what was what happened. First he did the "think", then he did the "do", and sometimes the "think" happened during the "do... When he'd been with Coran, he'd done the "think" extra hard due to Kre'el. Keith was stirring up his anxiety again. The choices he'd made were hard and harsh... but if he was ever going to move on, he had to leave the past in the past... and Dios, he wanted to move on with Keith.

"You're right. I'm leaving again. Kre'el said a lot of things that I've been thinking about while Coran was helping me out. I was trying not to think of her, but that didn't work as well as I told myself it was, so I talked with Coran and we made some decisions"

"So you decided with Coran you're leaving?"

Keith still sounded bitter. He couldn't blame his boyfriend for not getting it when he had no idea what Lance had decided. He just wished Keith was a bit more willing to let him explain himself

"No, I decided I was staying on Daibazaal until the end of the phoeb, then I was intending on taking my boyfriend home. Kre'el got me thinking of family... and I really wanted to see my mum... 'cause, you know, she was a mum. I want to talk to mum... I want to take you home and introduce you to everyone... I want to show you places that I used to love... and I want to meet your dad. I want to see your shack again... I'm taking Kre'el's ashes back to Earth, to bury her on our farm. She... she wanted to be with her daughter in the end, but I don't know where she was buried... so I thought I'd bury her on the farm"

"You want to stay here?"

Seriously? Had Keith not heard anything else he said?

"I want to stay with my boyfriend. I asked you to take those last few steps with me, and now that I'm at the end, I'm stepping aside. Coran helped me with it. I want to find those people, if by some chance they're still alive, but... I want to be with you more. I want to cherish my time with you, and for... for the sake of my mental health, we agreed it was time to let Shiro take on more. The Atlas and the Blades. Even if I found them, I don't have a magical pod to cure them. I want to take you home for Christmas. I want to tell my family I'm your husband. That I want my life to be with you. I'm not going to tell them everything. I don't think they need to know everything, but I have to tell them I'm with you, because out of everything, I'm not ashamed of that. So yes, I went off and made decisions aga..."

Kosmo was forcibly pushed off his lap as Keith launched himself on him. His lips pressing a firm kiss to Lance's as he rolled them so that Lance was straddling Keith's lap. Breaking the kiss, Keith sat up, holding him tightly. The half-Galra's face buried against his neck

"I thought... but... you..."

"You're not making much sense"

"You're really going to stay?"

"I thought about it before. You know, when I was stuck in that stupid hospital. About what I could do and what I couldn't... then I was thinking about what's more important to me. I couldn't make my mind up there because I couldn't shake the depression of having everyone smothering me. Chasing leads and leaving you to tolerate me, or accepting that... accepting that I'm out of my depth and that I still have a job I can do. So yeah. I want to stay. I want to help you out around here... Even if all I can do is provide intel on planets that the Blades might want to investigate... or lend an ear when you're frustrated. You're what's important to me. I know you... might have doubted that. Especially after I sent you to talk to Shiro so I could talk with Coran"

None of these decisions had been made lightly. He'd sobbed into Coran's shoulder every mixed up thought he had, until he helped him understand that he was still trying to do too much alone. Especially while battling his PTS over everything Kre'el had put into to play, and withdrawal making him its bitch. Lance didn't want to give up on Kre'el's people, but like he said, he wouldn't be able to give them the help they needed... and he had no idea what to do with any of the data that was on board the prison ship. It didn't benefit the job he wanted to do. Any names that needed chasing up, he could do that. He could do that in the course of continuing his work as a part time bounty hunter. Shiro had the advantage of being able to open wormholes, so once someone was apprehended, he'd be able to call through to him, or to Daibazaal or to Altea... He just... had to keep pushing out of the safe shell he'd built... or nothing would move forward... he wouldn't move forward.

"Shiro gave me a few points too. About talking with my team..."

Shivering in Keith's lap, Keith moved to start pulling his jacket off, the Cuban moving to accomodate him without thinking. Lance not paying enough attention to notice, already jumping onto the next train of thought. If he was taking Keith home, he was going to have to deal with all the judgmental overly religious family members... wait... What about Acxa? She was like a sister to Keith, and in some weird way, if she married Veronica, they really would be

"Do you think they'll want to come to Christmas? It'd be nice to show Acxa the farm, Veronica would probably hesitate to ask"

"I think they'd love that. Christmas isn't a thing out here, so they're probably going to be confused..."

Placing his jacket over Lance's shoulder, Lance leaned down to inhale Keith's scent. God. He loved how his boyfriend smelt. Nuzzling into the warmth, he was so fucking lucky to have Keith

"... but it's a nice idea. Are your team coming?"

Nodding, Lance hummed. He might not have thought everything through, like where everyone one sleep, and how the others would go in church, but Kre'el had reminded him how important family was... not he didn't know...

"I want them to. I didn't think I'd want to go back so soon, after telling mum I wasn't ready. I think maybe that was... me still trying to prove I don't need to be babied. I'm not ready to show people my hand, or my scars. I'll probably... show you some really embarrassing sides... and you should probably know I had... a lot of problems adjusting without Allura..."

Rubbing his hands up Lance's arms, the smile Keith gave him was filled with love

"I know you didn't have the best time with your family. But I'd like to meet them all again. I'd like to be there as your boyfriend. You're not lying to them by not telling them everything, before you get that in your head. We can take it slow. We don't need to tell them any more than what we're comfortable with. So while you're here, with me, we'll talk about it. We can call your mother, and talk to her about Christmas. That way she knows we're coming"

"Will Krolia come?"

Keith frowned at his husband, Lance's heart giving an uncomfortable flip

"Mum's not big on Christmas"

"I know, but... I might just be being selfish here, but a full family Christmas. Curtis and Shiro have probably got their own plans... but we can invite him too. I really... I really want to have a family Christmas with you. My family and your family..."

He was talking to much. Lance knew he was talking to fast but all of it was coming out like word vomit. If he went ahead and made all these plans with Keith, then there was no way he could back out.... but at the same time, he was worried he was being selfish by asking Keith to come home for Christmas. Keith probably never had a proper Christmas when he was in the foster system. He probably never experienced the let down of socks and jocks as child... or eaten way too much then thrown it all up in the shower because the water was too hot. He'd probably never gone to church and sing carols, or set off home made fireworks... All the things Keith had probably missed weren't fair. He wanted to be the one to do all of this with him. He wanted to see the way Keith's face would light up. He wanted to see his family fawn over his boyfriend, who'd probably be as confused as his team over what was happening. Yeah. He was definitely being selfish... Keith might not even want to celebrate Christmas. For him, the day more than likely held no special place in his heart...

The Cuban's smile fell as he forced himself up from Keith's lap, Kosmo threatening to knock him over as he "nudged" Lance's leg looking for attention

"I'm sorry. I was being overbearing. You don't have to come if you don't want to, or if it's too hard... My family is kind of massive, even without my team there... and it's not like my family knows I'm bi, apart from mum and V... my extended family can be stupid about things like that... I still love them, but they make me mad... I shouldn't have pushed all this at you. We haven't even sat down..."

Climbing off the ground, Keith scooped him up off his feet. Strong arms wrapped around him just below his arse

"You're talking too much"

Spinning him around, Keith lowered him down and immediately moved to cup his face, while Lance was trying to prevent Keith's jacket from slipping off

"You're a quiznakking idiot, babe. I'm terrified of meeting your family, but you are my husband. My accidental husband that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. I just said we can call your mum, make sure it's ok. And... I love you. I shouldn't have been so moody before... I didn't want you to go so soon. I still don't feel like I've actually... like I've actually caught you. I feel like you're going to float away from me the moment I let go. I can't guarantee I won't mess anything up"

Biting his lip, Keith looked away

"Hey, no. Trust me, Mullet. Most of them will absolutely love you. The important ones will. Mum already counts you as her son"

"But I didn't..."

It was too dark to see if Keith was blushing, the streetlights a tad too far, yet Lance had the feeling he was

"But, what?"

"I... I didn't even ask for your hand in marriage..."

Letting out a laugh, Lance didn't expect to be laugh so hard on the day he'd lost Kre'el. Insulted, Keith pulled away, turning and starting to stalk from him. Jogging the few steps, Lance grabbed Keith's arm

"Babe, wait"

"No. You laughed at me"

"I laughed because nobody but you would do that these days. Seriously. I'm my own person, not a possession. I'm the one who gets to choose who I want to be with. A decaphoeb ago, if anyone had asked for my hand, I probably would have shot them up with tranquillisers and left them in a dumpster. But you and that mullet of yours went and tore down all my defences. Threw my life into chaos and decided that I wasn't as dirty and disgusting as I feel. You know my secrets, you know I'm a mess, but you still tell me you love me... It took me movements but I'm getting there, aren't I? I'm getting better, right? I'm starting to believe you're not going to dump me and run... so much so that I want us to work off base on different missions... I've fallen so fucking hard for you. I still have stuff... I can't tell you. And stuff I don't know how to get through... but I... with you, I want to work through it... I can't guarantee I'll never have another panic attack. I can't guarantee I won't relapse. I can't even promise you I'll stick to not hurting myself... because for so long, it's been the only thing keeping my monsters in my head... but I can promise you I want to make you feel happy every single day, even on my bad days because I love your dorky arse"

"Lance, there's only one thing I want you to promise me?"

"What's that?"

"That you'll talk to me. Don't stop talking to me"

Snorting, Lance slid his hand down to hold Keith's, his head resting against Keith's shoulder

"Babe, might I remind you I never shut up?"

"You know what I mean"

"I do. Sometimes I might need to work it out a bit before I can let you in. But I will... And you have to make me a promise too"

"What's that?"

"You have to talk to me too. I won't push your past, but when you're upset or angry, we need to use our big adult words. Even if you're as confused and messed up in the head as I am, I need you to use your words. I want to be someone you can be proud of, and someone you can really rely on"

"Babe, you've always been my stability"

Giving another laugh, Lance nudged his husband

"If you're relying on me, we're both screwed"

"At least we'll go down together"

"Keith and Lance, neck and neck"

Lance could almost hear Keith rolling his eyes at him

"When are you going to stop that?"

"Sometime around the twelfth of never. But, you know, with the brain damage I wouldn't be able to tell when the twelfth of never comes"

"You're incorrigible"

Nudging Keith again, Keith nudged him back. There was still so much they needed to talk about, but walking by Keith's side under the weird purple sky of Daibazaal, Lance felt lighter and happier now that the self imposed weight on his shoulders had eased by sharing the load. Things weren't great. His anxieties were taking issue with being out in the dark with Galra around, but he was holding his panic down because he was so quiznakking happy that Keith would be coming with him back to Earth. He wasn't a mother, and couldn't understand that maternal bond, but he knew if he wanted to one day have a family with Keith, he first needed to make amends with his own. He needed to apologise for nearly tearing them apart. For running. For all the missed calls and avoidance measures he'd taken... They'd forgive him, at least say they did. But his previous behaviour would be there lurking in the backs of their minds. He wanted to show them he wasn't spending nearly every night drunk to drown the pain of Allura leaving, and that he'd found someone to love all the good and bad sides of him. He adored Keith. The man bent over backwards and always had his back. They couldn't change the past. It's always be there, and his anxieties would never truly leave, but as long as he kept walking forward, he had a chance to work through everything.

Smiling softly, Lance rubbed his cheek against Keith's arm. Anxious to return to the Telula or Keith's room, somewhere they could be alone to form their plans

"You wouldn't have me any other way"

"No. No, I really wouldn't"

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lamcongliemme · 6 years

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