#bbficexchange2021

[billyrussohaven]

Secret Santa for

@stuckysdaughter !

Merry Christmas!

Billy Russo x reader

Rating: PG

"You're serious?" you said, looking at Billy, your cup of coffee frozen in the air half-way to your lips. 

“Yeah,” he replied with a shrug, cramming a piece of toast into his mouth while reading the New York Times. You scoffed, shaking your head disapprovingly. You knew Billy didn’t have much of a family beside Frank, Curtis and Karen.  But to completely brush Christmas off…

“I grew up in the system, switching foster homes every few weeks, and then after that I was either on duty in the sandbox or working jobs for Anvil,” he added, sitting back on his chair and running a hand through his damp freshly washed hair.  He gave you another small shrug with a bit of a sadder look to it now, looking away, at the first soft snowflakes of December falling on the busy streets of Manhattan down below.

You watched him silently a bit longer, wondering what kind of karma from another life bestowed down upon him so much hardship and misfortune. You got up and moved to stand behind him, wrapping your arms around his neck and bending down to kiss the top of his head. You closed your eyes for a second, inhaling his scent and resting your cheek on his head, looking out the window with him.

“What about trying Christmas with me this year?” you suggested after a long silence. He didn’t say anything, nor move for a bit, as if he was pondering over his answer. He put his coffee down and moved you over to sit on his lap. He caressed your lower back, his hand sneaking under your shirt and he gave you a small smirk.

“What are the terms of this contract if I may?” he asked, Mister CEO of Anvil peeking up. You snorted and slapped his shoulder playfully.

“Don’t worry, you don’t have to sign it with blood or anything,” you said, rolling your eyes at him. “Just the classics…Decorate, get a Christmas tree, give each other gifts and maybe even invite Frank, Karen and Curtis over if they aren’t busy,” you suggested, wondering if it’d be too much for him. He kept his smirk on but you could see the cogs working hard behind his onyx eyes. “Please? For me?” you asked with puppy eyes and a small pout. His jaw tensed and untensed and he rubbed a hand over his face with a small sigh. You exhaled a long breath and moved to get off his lap, slightly annoyed with him, you really enjoyed Christmas and you felt a small pang of hurt at him not even trying. “ William Russo, I swear t-” you mumbled.

He grabbed your hand quickly, stopping you from stomping off and sat you back down on his lap. You raised an eyebrow at him and he fought the grin creeping up on his face. You were so god damn cute when you were annoyed. “Fine,” he said. “I’ll give Christmas a go with you,” he added, his face hovering over yours. You grinned widely and let a small squeal of excitement at the news. You crushed your lips to his, both hands cradling his face and you swore he rolled his eyes at you before closing them to kiss you back.

“We’re gonna have the best Christmas ever!”

*************************

“Okay, I believe this is the last box,” Billy said, kicking the front door closed behind him. You could barely see his face behind it as he kicked his shoes off. He put it down in the living room beside all the bags. You two had spent the entire morning shopping for Christmas decorations. Billy flopped down on the couch with a sigh and looked at the sea of bags and boxes all around you. You looked so happy and excited, unpacking everything and already planning where everything could go.

He watched you ramble about your plans for the day and felt his phone vibrate in his jacket. You gave him a warning look that he proceeded to completely ignore by answering his phone, and going right into work mode again. He had promised he would help you decorate today and even took a day off for you.

"Is this important? Cuzz I'm-" he said, stopping abruptly to listen to the caller, his whole body standing to attention. A little frown appeared between his brows and he cursed under his breath. You saw his eyes flicker to the Christmas decorations boxes then up to you. You gave him a look. That look… with one eyebrow up as if 'Don't you fuckin' dare'... He swallowed thickly and gave you a small apologetic smirk.

"Alright, let me walk through what's gonna happen. No, I'm not coming in," he said to the caller and motioned to you silently that it would take five minutes.

You rolled your eyes and shrugged, knowing there's just so much you can win with him… He smirked wider and closed the distance quickly, kissing your temple before walking away to finish his phone call.

Five minutes became ten minutes, then fifteen, then almost half an hour later you marched into his home office and crossed your arms over your chest looking at him still on the phone at his desk. You threw a Christmas bauble at him, hitting him square in the chest. You snorted, unable to not laugh at the evil look he gave you. He threw it back at you and went back to his stupid call. You left his office and for a minute he almost thought you were gonna give up keeping him from work. He felt somewhat guilty at being stuck with work problems when he said he’d help. As if you heard his thoughts, you walked back into the office hiding your hands behind your back. Billy gave you a hesitant look and moved his attention to his work laptop again, his phone glued to his left ear still. He felt something around his neck and looked down startled at the bright gold tinsel. A series of giggles behind him made him turn around and give you a scolding look.

“Yeah sorry ‘bout that, could you repeat?” he said to the caller, trying to brush you off from decorating him up like a christmas tree. Your laughter filled his chest with warmth and he ended up just letting you have your fun, unable to resist you…

*************************

“Are you looking for something, babe?” you asked from the doorway, seeing Billy head first into the dryer, going through your clothes. You caught him off guard and he hit the back of his head with a small ow! He looked behind him, rubbing his head with a sour face. “Naa I was just cleaning the filter,” he said kicking the door closed. You frowned, knowing very well he was full of shit but he simply gave you his best dazzling smile and walked away, giving your butt a playful slap. He would never admit it but he was starting to like this whole Christmas thing. Especially toying with you, leaving fake trails behind, asking you all kinds of random questions like he was fishing for gift ideas.

“How’s your Christmas shopping going by the way?” you asked, following him into the walk-in closet. “You sure you don’t need a wishlist from me?” you then added, suggesting the idea for the second time this week.

Billy grinned wickedly with his back to you. He actually had half your gifts bought and hidden already, thanks to Karen. Being CEO of a security firm and having a background in special ops may or may not have helped him put a bug in your purse when you went out the other day with Karen. You had spilled your every wish and dream for Christmas and he bought everything the next day, including flowers for Karen for being his partner in crime.

“Naa, I’m good,” he said, turning around to look at you, his neutral stoic mask back in place, buttoning up his shirt. You raised your hand in the air, walking away from him. “Alright, if you’re sure then,” you murmured leaving the room.

 “...I still think this whole Christmas thing is overrated!” you heard him call out from the closet.

*************************

“Naa, this one s’too small,” Billy said, looking down at the seven feet fir tree like it gave him great offence. You nibbled your lower lip nervously, already knowing Billy was gonna go overboard with this.

“I mean…You have to remember they look smaller outside. It’s gonna look much bigger insi-” you said before seeing Billy march off in the direction of a massive fir tree. “Oh nononono..” You mumbled, walking quickly behind him. “Billy! Come on! It’s ridicu-” Billy whistled loudly to a man wearing a red Santa hat helping the customers find their perfect tree. He walked toward Billy and they were already exchanging money when you caught up with Billy’s long strides. You were almost panting and looked around with disbelief, one hand over your forehead. This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening.

He turned around to face you with an almost bored look, his fingers typing a quick reply text to Frank “We’re getting this one,” he said, putting his phone back in his pocket and rolling his shoulder. You stared at the eleven feet tall monster of a fir tree and wondered just how the fuck you two were gonna bring it all the way up to his penthouse.

Right on cue, a black pickup truck pulled in and stopped next to the two of you. "Sup Bill? Scared to bust the paint on that fancy car of yours?" The loud rough voice of Frank said teasingly through the opened window, turning the engine off. Billy ignored Frank's comment and moved to open the tailgate. Frank grinned at Billy as he got out of the truck, like he was having a whole fucking conversation with him without saying anything. Billy gave him the slightest of smirks and pushed Frank roughly, like they were gonna start rough housing. The two of them were always acting like absolute seven-year-old brats together and barely behaved like adults in public. You shook your head at the two idiots and walked off to wait in the car, already done with them...

*************************

The whole place smelled of gingerbread, sweets, sugar, chocolate, coffee… Billy and you had spent most of the day baking holiday classics and decided on making gingerbread houses too. When he mentioned never building and decorating them as a kid, it was a no brainer for you; you simply had to. He had complained at first, not seeing the appeal or why a grown ass man should spend the rest of his afternoon with kiddie stuff. You had insisted and sent him to the store with a list of many sweets, chocolate, and icing you could think of while you baked what felt like a hundred batches of gingerbread in any different shapes and sizes.

When you two sat down at the long kitchen table filled with edible decorations, you went to work with Christmas music in the background. Initially, Billy seemed bored and spent more time eating the stuff than building anything, really. But when your house started taking shape, Billy’s composure changed and he became more focused, as if he was finally getting it. You were halfway done with your little house when he stopped talking and started building his own project. When you couldn't think of anything else to add to yours, you carefully moved it onto the kitchen island and began cleaning all the cooking pans and baking stuff.

An hour and change later, Billy was full on lieutenant mode, standing up over his work of art and looked like a man on a mission. You hadn't commented yet, but you were pretty amused at how seriously he ended up taking his gingerbread house.

"Do you need a hand to finish yours?" You asked, wrapping your arms around his waist, standing behind him. You looked around him at his masterpiece and went still with shock. He had done a mini-anvil warehouse, complete with rooms for clearing and CQC, little ginger soldiers training, some with marshmallows weights, some shooting candied snowmen as target practice. He looked a little sheepishly at you, popping a handful of jelly beans in his mouth. "You like it?" He asked between two mouthfuls.

You didn't reply, you simply picked up your phone, snapped a few pictures of his work and sent them on the group chat you two had with Frank, Karen and Curtis along with a cry for help.

-I've made a monster…

********************

What do you get a man that can buy himself a 400 000$ Rolls Royce Wraith?

You don't get him anything, you make it.

Billy had showered you with every wish that ever left your lips. He even added things like a brand new cellphone with a photo of you two as the background, shoes, clothes, custom jewelry...You wondered for a minute if he tapped your cell phone calls but as silly as it sounded, you wouldn't put it past him.

After unwrapping the mountain of gifts that was yours, you reached under the tree and picked up his. He raised an eyebrow at you as he sipped on his drink, his face hidden by his glass of whiskey.

You handed it to him with a soft smile. "I know you said not to get you anything," you said, sitting down next to him on the couch. "But I didn't technically buy it, I made it." You added, wringing your hands on your lap. He put his drink down and took a deep steading breath. Emotions right? Urg! You thought with a smirk, seeing him bracing himself for the unknown.

He unwrapped the gift and stared at it, blinking a few times before opening it and turning the pages. It was a scrapbooking photo album filled with pictures of his friends, his most trusted Anvil guys, old Marines mates, newspaper clipping mentioning Anvil opening, photos from overseas…He wondered how you got your hands on all of these, especially the old pictures of his Marines training, where he met Frank, even some photos of this teenage years…

"How?" He murmured, his shiny eyes glued to the pages in front of him. He swallowed thickly, rolling his shoulder and rubbing at his chest absentmindedly.

"With a lot of phone calls and reaching out to a lot of people to send old highschool photos, even some from the group home as you can see," you said 

He stopped on a page and stared at the photo on it. It was from the group home. A bunch of boys smiling and laughing at the dinner table on Thanksgiving.

"I know you have bad memories from that place but I wanted you to remember the good ones too," you said, rubbing his back and scooting closer to him.

He closed the first album and picked up the second one with a velvet black cover. He opened it and his eyes shone wickedly looking at the pictures.

It was photos from a boudoir shooting you did earlier that month with Karen and her new camera. It wasn't plain nude ones but tasteful sexy ones with your best lingerie.

"Does that album come with a live demonstration?" He asked, leaning towards you, his face playful and filled with desire.

"Depends, on how good you have been this year." You teased, kissing the side of his jaw.

"Good is relative,"he shrugged, "and if you behave, I’ll show you just how good I am." He smirked, running his hand up your thigh, "with my hands, and my tongue, and my dick." He punctuated each word with a kiss, making you chuckle. You moved the albums carefully to the coffee table and straddled his lap, kissing him deeply.

"You know what, Christmas isn’t so bad after all..."

#billy russo #billy russo fanfiction #billy russo imagine #billy russo fanfics #billy russo x female reader #billy russo x reader #billy russo x you #ben barnes #billy russo x y/n #bbficexchange2021

[thatbritishactor]

Secret Santa Fic Exchange for @blanchedelioncourt

Take Me Apart (part 5)

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Summary: Your friends have been trying to set you up with Billy for a year now. Spending New Year’s Eve with him in a remote cabin might finally do the trick.

Type: Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Idiots to lovers, “There’s Only one bed”.

Words: 2,300

Warnings: Mentions of sex, language.

Part 1     Part 2     Part 3     Part 4  

Take me Apart playlist

My Masterlist

Your mind had conveniently avoided thinking about the midnight new year’s kiss, and reality crashes into you. Billy stands in front of you, his dark eyes fixed on yours, and you feel like he’s waiting for you to decide. Your heart chooses for you, and you step closer to him, stand on your tip toes, throw your arms around his neck, and press your lips against his.

The rest of the room disappears: the music fades away, Frank and Karen vanish. Billy’s hand finds your hip, and it slides up your back, bringing your body closer to him. Your heart swells in your chest, adrenaline rushing through your veins. Your chest bumps against his, and you’re ecstatic from his touch. It almost feels like a relief; your body’s been craving him all this time. You relax against him, and he wraps his other arm around you, securing his hold over you.

Your free hand slides into his hair, the other still clutching the flute. Billy’s lips move languidly against yours, and you sigh against him, melting under his touch, releasing all the tension you’ve accumulated so far. You feel like every nerve in your body is on fire, the kiss making you almost feel wobbly. You kiss for a few seconds, reveling in the feeling of his lips brushing against yours, his perfume making you dizzy, something in your chest urging you to get closer to him.

You hear a chuckle and reality resurfaces; you open back your eyes and tear your face off Billy’s, leaning back. Pitch black eyes find yours, and the hunger in them makes your insides clench with anticipation. Billy stares at you, catching his breath, his hand tightly pressed against your back. You smile to him, blink a few times, and he slowly releases his grasp on you, but not completely. He leans in, resting his forehead against yours, and you release a sigh. He speaks quietly, almost in a whisper.

“Happy new year.”

You nod against him, smiling “You too”. You step out of his arm and glance to your side. Frank and Karen are in each other’s arms and they’re staring, the biggest grin on their faces. Your face reddens and you roll your eyes before taking a large sip of champagne.

You clear your throat, glancing back at Billy, and you notice the shadow of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He sits back on the couch, grabbing the phone that’s broadcasting the music, and puts a new song on. You settle on the armchair in front of him, still holding your flute, your cheeks burning from the embarrassment. You have no idea what just came over you, but you can’t help but think the kiss was incredible and yearn for more. Frank and Karen start dancing, and you observe them to clear your head. They look cute, both staring into each other’s eyes, moving to the music. They look happy. You sigh, looking back at Billy, and find him pouring himself another glass of champagne. You hold your flute to him, and he glances at you, smiling, before serving you as well.

After they’re done dancing, the couple settle back on the couch, and you finish the board game you were playing. Karen almost falls on the floor, hilarity getting the best of her, and Frank grabs her hand.

“We should go to sleep” he slurs, and Karen dramatically nods.

“Seems like this is my cue” she responds, and she pecks your cheek before saying goodnight. You settle on your chair, watching them drunkenly climb the stairs, shaking your head.

“Those two can’t handle their liquor” you comment, looking back at Billy, and he nods, putting a hand over his face.

“I’m so dreading tomorrow” he grumbles, and you chuckle.

“I thought that champagne didn’t give hangovers”

Billy looks at you, putting his hands behind his head, relaxing on the couch. You blush, thinking that you’d give anything to climb on his lap.

“Or it gives you the worst hangovers, depending on your constitution” he replies. You think about what to say next, when he straightens his back against the couch, his eyes piercing through you. You forget what you were going to say.

“Are we gonna talk about that kiss?” he asks.

“What kiss?” you ask innocently. Billy rolls his eyes.

“I don’t get why I keep tryin’ to talk to you” he mutters, and you feel a spike going through your heart at his words.

“What do you mean?”

He slightly shakes his shoulder. “You’re the master at avoiding tricky topics.”

“That I am” you say, raising your glass as if you were toasting. Billy settles his head on the back of the couch, closing his eyes, and you feel a sudden surge of courage going through you. Taking the most of that momentum, you get up from the armchair and join him on the couch, putting your flute on the coffee table. Billy watches you settle next to him, your arm resting on the back of the couch, you sit down facing him. He straightens his back and gives you an interrogating glance.

“Go on. Ask me anything” you say, staring into his dark eyes. You watch the irises glisten as he takes your words in, and you swallow thickly, bracing yourself.

“You never answered my question from earlier” he starts, and you frown.

“What question?”

“Why did nothing ever happen between us?”

“Because I think that it wouldn’t work” you answer truthfully.

“Why?”

Your eyes not leaving his, you decide to be honest with him. You already crossed a line earlier, and you don’t feel as though you can resist him much longer. Especially since you had that first taste of his lips.

“I want a relationship” you state, gauging his reaction. “Not casual hookups.”

Billy’s eyebrows raise, and you can tell that he’s stunned by your sudden bluntness.

“What makes you think that’d be a problem?”

You tilt your head to the side. “Because I’ve never seen you in a relationship before.”

Billy blinks “And based on that observation… You judged that I was incapable of being in a committed relationship?”

“Aren’t you?”

Billy breaks eye contact, and he readjusts his position on the couch to be facing you. You watch him, licking your lips, eager to hear his answer.

“It’s true, I’ve never been in a relationship before” You hang to his words, every fiber in your body responsive to him. “Because I’ve never met anyone who made me want to settle.” He pauses, letting you process what he said, and he briefly closes his eyes, as if he’s gathering courage.  “It’s different with you.”

The words hit hard; warmth spreads over you. You indulge in the pleasant feeling, his last sentence ringing in your ears.

“How so?” you question, and Billy grabs your hand. You let him link his fingers with yours. Your breath catches in your throat, and you expectantly look at him.

“I wouldn’t be able to explain it” he starts “It’s very new to me. All I know is, I’ve never felt this way before. About anyone.”

Your heartbeat and your breathing accelerate, the logical side of your brain screaming that this could be a line, that he could be playing you. He could be lying to get into your pants, and you’d get hurt again. This time the disappointment would be far too important, and you don’t know if you could recover from such pain.

“Billy” you whisper, your chest rising and falling with broken breaths.

“Yeah?”

“I’ve been damaged before” you plead, and you spot a glimpse of anger in his eyes. “Please don’t hurt me.”

Billy inhales sharply, his gaze fiery and intense. He cups the side of your face, glancing at your lips, and his next words are soft: almost a pledge.

“I promise I won’t hurt you.”

It was all you needed. You crush your lips against him, grabbing the nape of his neck. Blood rushes through your veins, the adrenaline electrifying you. His hands pull you to him, and you slide a leg above his waist. He grabs your hips, and you straddle him, the kiss heating up; you release a small moan, tugging at his hair.

You can tell that he’s holding back in the way his lips feel against yours, his heart beating as wildly as yours underneath his shirt. You tilt your head to the side to deepen the kiss. He sighs and opens his mouth, caressing your tongue with his, releasing a low growl, his fingers moving from your shoulders to your neck, pulling you closer to him. You feel his hands slide in your hair, and you grind against him, tearing a moan out of him. You’ve never felt anything like this before: you’re excruciatingly alive, feeling everything all at once. You briefly think to yourself that this must be what heroine feels like, before Billy’s expert hands permanently shut your brain, sliding under your shirt, making you inhale sharply.

He breaks the kiss, and his eyes flick up, boring into yours with the intensity of a firestorm. “Are you sure?” he growls, his voice low. You nod, circling your hips against him, and he secures his grasp on you before getting up on his feet. You lace your legs around his waist as he carries you to the stairs.

* * * * * * * * *

You awake progressively, sunlight entering the room through the curtains. You open your eyes, blinking a few times, feeling the hold of strong arms around you. You hear Billy’s soft breathing, his body closely lined up against yours, and you circle your hips a little, smiling. Memories of last night rush back, and you blush, burying your face into the pillow.

You knew of Billy’s reputation in bed and saying that you weren’t disappointed would be an understatement. If your first night with Billy foreshadowed anything about your future as a couple, you were in for a passionate, fiery trip.

You move a bit, and Billy’s grip tightens. You feel him shift a bit, and he buries his nose into your hair before placing a kiss on your bare shoulder.

“Morning” you hear him say, and his voice is thick with sleep.

“Morning” you smile, and you move to see him. You’re greeted by warm brown eyes, the iris almost black, and your stomach flips. You smile shyly and Billy places a soft kiss against your lips before leaning back.

“How did you sleep?” he asks, and he shifts on his back, releasing you to stretch on the bed.  You watch the way his arms extend, the sunlight kissing his toned chest and stomach, and you feel yourself getting warmer.

“Very well, actually” you reply, sitting up on the bed, and rubbing your eyes. “What about you?”

“Never better.”

You turn over, and you’re greeted by a soft smile that makes you blush. How in the hell you managed to land this gorgeous man is beyond you, and yet here he is, fully naked under the sheets, lying next to you. You’re torn away from your thoughts by Billy, who sits up and grabs your face, placing a long kiss on your lips.

“Shower?” he asks, and you release a sigh before nodding.

“Yes please.”

It makes no doubt that the shower in question will be shared.

* * * * * * * *

“What are we going to say to Frank and Karen?” you ask, removing your towel and putting your underwear on. Billy sits on the side of bed in his black briefs, watching your form appreciatively before he answers.

“They’re going to be even more unbearable than before” he complains, and you scoff.

“Tell me about it.”

“Frank’s been pestering me for a year about you, I thought he’d never shut up.”

You nibble your lip a few times, doubt suddenly overwhelming you, and ponder on your question before asking it. “Would you have been interested if Frank hadn’t harassed you?” you ask, and you turn to your suitcase, retrieve a shirt, and slide it on.

Billy stares at you from the bed, his eyes expressing uncertainty, and he gets on his feet and crosses the room to place his warm hands on your hips, his eyes boring into yours.

“Of course, I would have” he whispers, and he leans in, his lips ghosting over your jawline, tearing a shiver out of you. His hands slide from your hips to your back, and all the way to your cheeks. Dark eyes capture yours, and you suck in a breath.

“What about you?” he asks. Warmth spreads on your cheeks, and you place your hands around his wrists, staring back at him. You’ve never seen him look so vulnerable, but part of you still feels intimidated by him.

“How could I possibly resist you, Billy?” you ask, and the chuckle he releases warms you all the way to your core. You watch his eyes wrinkle, an expression of pure joy spreading on his beautiful features, and you lean against his hands, briefly closing your eyes.

“You’ve resisted for a year, though” he remarks, and you nod in agreement.

“How could I possibly believe that someone like you would be interested in someone like me?” you reply.

Billy brushes his lips against yours, the kiss delicate and sweet at first, before it heats up and becomes fervent. You slide your arms around his neck, bringing him closer to you. He tilts his head to the side, deepening the kiss, and your hands find his hair, softly grabbing the strands wet from the shower.

“Now don’t ever say something like that ever again” he pants, breaking the kiss, and he softly rubs your nose with his.

You release a ragged breath, closing your eyes, and bury your head in his chest. He holds you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders, and you feel safe and protected, something you thought you’d never experience again.

“We’re going to be fine” he says, placing a kiss against your hair. “We’ll just have to endure the I told you sos for a few weeks”

You laugh and gaze back at him, place a quick kiss on his lips, and tear yourself out of his arms. “Get dressed Russo, we have two insufferable matchmakers to see”.

* * * * * * * * *

 .

.

Thank you for the feedback you gave me on this fic, I didn’t expect you to like it so much! 

I intended to include SMUT in this part, and ended up unhappy about what I wrote. I decided to write around it instead of forcing the smut, cause i mean... bad written sex scenes are terrible. 

I might get back to it and publish a Part 6 as a ONE SHOT of the first time they had sex that night if I like what I write! An epilogue is definitely a possibility, depending on the way part 5 is received.

Thank you so much for your encouragements, you’ve been amazing! 

and a Happy New Year to you (sadly without Billy Russo...) 

.

Tag list :

@hagarsays​

@ohsorandomlyme​

@stuckysdaughter​

@aunicornmademedoit​

@bat-revival​​

@mrs-brekker15​​

@fuzzymoggle​

@sirius-is-hot​​

@londoneyes-glasgowbones

@vissidarte213​​

@daddy-firth

@aleksanderwh0r3

@nevertoofarfromivar

@marimorena06​

@awesome-eccia

@fermencja

@kaybeeboop

@eginv-blog

@katedrexel

@younglilbtchsworld

@theysayitscrazy

@kahlanmars​

@sarcasm-n-insomnia​

@holamor​

@shazianazir05

@fictional-hooman

#billy russo #ben barnes #bbficexchange2021 #billy russo x read #billy russo x you #the punisher #billy russo fanfiction #my fics #take me apart

[fific7]

Souls Adrift

Secret Santa Fic Exchange

Billy Russo x Reader

A/N: This is part of @flightlessangelwings and @the-purity-pen Ben Barnes Secret Santa fic exchange, and is written for @sageswritings - hope you enjoy it!

Happy Holidays!🎅☃️🎄

Summary: This is a oneshot Soulmate story set in my S1 Punisher AU which does not follow canon and features Arrogant!BillyRusso. It’s written from Billy’s POV.

Warnings: Slightly 18+ NSFW due to mentions of sex. Drinking and swearing.

(My video edit)

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy Russo shot his cuffs out beyond his jacket sleeves and regarded himself in the mirror. Yeah looking good, Russo. He smoothed his hair back again and as he did so, caught sight of the very faint star outline on his inner right wrist.

He dropped his hand and pulled his cuff down, irritated. Soulmate, huh? Complete and utter bull-shit. Never gonna happen.

Apparently, when you met your soulmate the star outline turned burning bright for a few seconds then settled down, looking more like an actual tattoo, and the two soulmates would have matching colours. Well, it hadn’t happened to him yet, he doubted it ever would and truth be told, he didn’t want it to.

He didn’t want to be tied down to one woman! That just wasn’t his thing. He cleared his throat, thinking that he’d need to get himself out to a bar tonight, find a suitable candidate to be the next recipient of his admirable attentions. Only a temporary recipient of course. He’d either go to her place or maybe a hotel if she didn’t live locally, and he’d be gone before the bedsheets got too warm.

Satisfied, he walked out of his bedroom and through his spacious apartment, ready to face another busy day at Anvil.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Entering one of his local hangouts that evening, he headed to the bar and leaned on it, waiting until he caught the barman’s eye and then ordering a whisky straight up.

Drink served, he lifted it and took a sip, turning and lounging back against the bar, perusing the women in his vicinity like a panther stalking its prey. His eyes swept over them but no-one caught his immediate attention.

Not tall enough, not small enough, too made up, not made up enough, dressed too provocatively, not dressed provocatively enough. He shook his head, turning back and leaning on the bar, ordered a beer.

Looked like it was going to be a much longer night than he’d anticipated. He sighed. Billy was not a patient man.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

He was just finishing his beer when he became aware of someone next to him. His head swivelled slightly, using his sniper training to look while it seemed like he wasn’t. It was a woman, and his antennae immediately went up. Just his type. Just right.

He leant in towards her as he noticed she hadn’t been able to order yet. “Hey… can I buy you a drink?”

She looked at him, and he felt a stirring in his pants. He looked back into the deep pools of her eyes and knew that he was definitely interested in her. Very interested indeed.

“Thank you for offering, but no thank you,” she replied, giving him a small smile and turning back towards the barman, who was now heading towards her.

Billy’s animal instincts started peaking, a chase! Just what he liked. Well, things that came too easy were boring. He lightly laid his hand on her wrist, “Aww, c’mon, it’s just a drink…” but stopped speaking before he could carry on with one of his smart comebacks. He could feel a burning sensation on his right wrist.

He pulled his sleeve back, the star was burning! He noticed she was doing the same, having pulled up the sleeve of her leather bomber jacket. She too had a burning star outline on her right wrist. He watched as the bright outline died down and looked from his wrist to hers, seeing that both of them now had a sparkling midnight blue star shape on there.

They both looked up at the same time, her eyes as wide as his.

Billy Russo swiftly shoved himself away from the bar and started pushing through the crowd, barging people aside until he got to the door.

He pulled it open and ran right out into the street.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Opening the door to his apartment he rushed inside and slammed it behind him, heading straight to the bottle of whisky he kept on the kitchen counter.

He sloshed a healthy amount into a tumbler and swigged most of it, before grabbing his phone out of his pocket and hitting “Frankie” on his speed dial.

As soon as he heard the answering growl, he blurted, “I just met my soulmate!!!” There was a loud peal of laughter in response, “That’s freakin’ hilarious, Russo!” “No, it isn’t, Frankie, it really isn’t. I don’t want a fuckin’ soulmate, you know I don’t!” Frank’s voice faded slightly and Billy heard him yelling, “Karen! Russo met his soulmate tonight and he’s panickin’ like a lil bitch!”

Billy scowled as he heard this and yelled back to empty air, “No I’m not! I’m not panickin’ okay?!”

He heard Karen’s voice, “You do sound panicky, Billy, I have to say. Didn’t you want to meet your soulmate? Most people are overjoyed when they do.”

“No! I’m happy as I am.”

“Are you, Billy, are you really? With all those one night stands? No-one to come home to every evening? To speak to, tell them about your day, have them look after you?”

“I…” Billy suddenly felt his voice catch in his throat, “I’ve never ever had that in my life so why would I need that now, huh Karen? I’ve got by just fine without one and I don’t want tied down!”

He heard Karen sigh, “Well, if you say so Billy, but I think you’re making a big mistake.”

Bristling, Billy snapped, “An’ so what if I am?! I’ll do what I damn well please. G’night, Karen,” and cut the call before she could say anything else. His phone rang a second or so later and he knew it was Frank. He answered, knowing that he’d probably been quite rude to Karen, “OK I’m sorry, I know I was snappy, say sorry to Karen for me.”

Frank huffed, “Yeah okay, Russo - she was only tryin’ to help, y’know? And I think you’re makin’ a mistake too, case you’re interested.”

“Look I hear you and Karen and what ya think, Frankie but it’s not for me, okay? I’m just gonna carry on like I was and that’s the end of it.” Frank sighed, “Well, whatever you say Russo, but I think you’re gonna regret this.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

A couple of days later, Billy and Frank met up with Karen at their favourite local diner for lunch. They were all looking through the menu making their choices, and Frank remarked, “Dunno why you bother looking at the menu, Bill - you always choose the same thing every time,” and turned to Billy with a smirk. But Billy was no longer sitting next to him. Frank did a double take and then looked over at Karen, “Where’d Bill go?!”

Karen grinned and pointed under the table, continuing to look at her menu. Frank looked down and saw Billy crouched on all fours - a bit of a squeeze - under there. “Bill…” started Frank, but Billy hissed “Sssssh!” at him. “Whoooo you avoiding, Billy?” smirked Karen, also looking down at him.

Billy grimaced at her, “Someone I don’t want to bump into again, okay?” Karen looked around and spotted an attractive woman standing over at the counter. “Would that be your soulmate, by any chance, Billy?” He rolled his eyes at her from under the table, whisper-yelling “Yes! It is. Alright? Satisfied?” at her. He saw Karen’s legs start to move out of the booth and he scrambled up off the floor, making it back into his seat just in time to see Karen marching up to his soulmate.

“Awww, shit!” he exclaimed. Frank chuckled, “C’mon Bill, what’d you expect? You know Karen’s not about to let your soulmate get away from you.” Billy started rearranging the cutlery on the tabletop, then decided that he wasn’t going to have this happen. No way was he gonna have this forced on him.

He bolted out of the diner.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

As he’d been half-expecting, there was a peremptory knock at his apartment door a little while later. Frank walked in as soon as Billy opened the door, plunking himself down on the sofa and saying, “Get me a beer, Russo.” Billy huffed but went to the fridge, pulling two bottles out of it and popping the caps, asking, “Where’s Karen?” as he handed one to Frank.

“Still chattin’ to your soulmate,” grinned Frank, “but you already knew that.” Billy nodded, “Guess I did. What’re they talkin’ about?” Frank shot him a look and Billy nodded again, “Okay, okay - me.” Frank took a gulp of his beer and then replied, “Yup.” Billy sat down in the armchair, sighing. “She’s not gonna bring her here, is she?” he asked, apprehensively. “Nope, she wouldn’t go that far, Bill.” Billy blew out a relieved breath, “I don’t want a soulmate, Frankie,” he said firmly, “Karen’s gotta stop this crusade. It’s not gonna work.”

Frank smiled, “Look, Maria was my soulmate and Karen’s never met hers. She’s secretly sad cos of that. I’m fine with the fact we’re not soulmates but she wants a happy ending for someone… and that’s you.” Billy set his beer bottle down on the floor, grumbling, “But I don’t wanna be tied down to just one woman.” “You say you don’t, but that’s cos you never stay with anyone longer’n the time it takes you to screw ‘em.” Billy laughed, “I know, I know… but I just don’t understand why anyone would wanna do that, stick with just one person?”

Frank rolled his eyes, “Bill - give it a try, at least? You’ll never know unless you do. And the best person to give it a go with’s gotta be your soulmate, right? Just stop runnin’ out on her, at least sit down and talk to her.” Reluctantly, Billy nodded, “Yeah, yeah, okay… just to keep Karen happy though! An’ I’m not promisin’ anything, you hear?”

He spotted a triumphant little smile on Frank’s face, and knew that Karen was going to go all out to make this soulmate bullshit work for him, while Billy was determined not to get entangled in it. He began worrying that he’d got himself into something really messy that he was going to totally regret.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Karen had literally danced round his apartment, skipping and clapping her hands like a little kid when Billy told her that he would at least meet up with his soulmate. Frank had looked fondly at her and even Billy - not in a happy mood about all of this - had to smile.

She then sat down and told him the few things she’d learned about his soulmate when they’d chatted in the diner… her name, her age, where she worked and the neighbourhood she lived in. Karen had managed to get Billy to admit that he’d spoken to her in the bar that night because he had in fact been hitting on her.

“So you were going after her! That means she’s your type then, doesn’t it? Excellent!” She clapped her hands again, “Well, she seems to be a lovely person, and I just know you’re going to love her!”

Billy sighed in defeat. He knew Karen was already thinking about what hat she’d buy to wear to the wedding.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Karen had of course texted his soulmate the next day and set up a date for her to meet Billy for lunch as soon as possible. No letting the grass grow with Karen, and he knew she wanted to arrange it before he changed his mind.

Sitting once again in one of the diner booths, Billy squirmed nervously and kept looking over every time the door opened. Was this how you felt on a first date? He’d never been on one so had no clue. He didn’t date, he just bedded and moved on. That’s how it worked in his world and you know what they say… if it ain’t broke…

He continued to feel on edge as the minutes dragged on. She was going to be late, he thought sourly, just great! Billy was a punctuality freak, probably due to his military background. So this was a black mark straight away. And apart from anything else, he really didn’t want to be here. Well, he’d give her another five minutes and then he was gone. He began to feel less nervous. Yeah - that’d be perfect. It would keep Karen happy because he’d actually turned up like he’d promised he would, but if his soulmate couldn’t even be bothered to arrive on time, well he couldn’t be blamed for running out on her again, could he?

Then he heard the door open and looked up to see her walking into the diner. He felt his heart give a little leap. Hey! What was all that about? Just nerves, yeah absolutely just nerves. She caught sight of him and made her way over to him. She wasn’t smiling and neither was he.

“You’re late,” were the first words out of his mouth as she reached his booth. A look of irritation flitted over her face, “What? You deal in nanoseconds, do you? Are you an astrophysicist or something?!” He looked down at his watch and saw that the second hand had moved just 10 seconds past the hour. He felt his face flush with embarrassment. “Sorry,” he mumbled, not making eye contact. “Umm… I didn’t quite catch that?” He looked up and saw that she was still standing in front of him, arms crossed in front of her, looking highly unimpressed. Sunlight suddenly flooded in through the diner window and illuminated her, like a heavenly spotlight.

Billy caught himself thinking that she looked magnificent, like an avenging goddess or something.

Oh hell. Without a doubt, he was getting an erection. Was that inappropriate? Well, he had begun this whole thing by hitting on her in the first place. So it was a given that he found her attractive. He pulled his sweater further down across his lap and indicated the other side of the table, “Look, I’m sorry, okay? Please, sit with me.” Still eyeing him like he was something nasty she’d stepped in, she slid into the booth opposite him. He continued, “I usedta be a Marine.” She nodded, “Yeah, I know. Karen told me. And that’s relevant, why?”

He cleared his throat nervously, “Well, I’m a little OCD about time-keeping, s’all.” A ghost of a smile crossed her lips, “Okay, I’ll accept that as your excuse for greeting me like a parade ground sergeant.” He felt his face flush even more. “I am really sorry, m’nervous about all-a this. Lemme start over…” She nodded so he continued, “I’m Billy. Pleased to meet you.” He extended his hand, they shook and she smiled, giving him her name before adding, “Not sure you are pleased to meet me, though.” He looked at her, confused, “Huh?” “Well you’ve run out the door as if I’ve got the plague - mmm, twice now?”

She’d picked up her menu at that point to choose something to eat as the waitress had arrived at their table. Once they’d ordered and coffees had been poured for each of them, he said, “Look, I… I gotta be honest with you. I don’t want a soulmate.” She’d put sugar in her coffee and stopped mid-stir, looking over at him, amused. “And what makes you think I do?”

Billy felt his mouth dropping open slightly. He’d never even considered this possibility. Had just assumed that she’d want to be with him… because… because… well, women were into that sorta stuff, weren’t they? Look at Karen!

She was still looking at him, now highly amused. “I take it you didn’t think of that, Billy?” It was the first time she’d said his name, and he felt his heart give that little leap again. “I… uhh… I, no… guess I didn’t,” he muttered, hating how lame he sounded.

“Well,” she carried on, brightly, “now that we’ve established that neither us of want to be together, let’s just have a nice lunch and then we never need to see each other again.”

Billy stomach lurched. What?!

“But… but... we…. I…” he heard himself stutter out, but she merely smiled at him then looked up as the waitress put their plates down in front of them.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

An hour later, Billy was walking forlornly back to his apartment alone. They’d parted outside the diner, she wishing him a cheery ‘Goodbye’ before turning on her heel and disappearing into the crowd of passersby.

She’d asked him lots of questions about himself and his company and before he knew it, lunch was over and she’d been taking out her wallet to pay. He’d scrambled to get his own wallet out and insisted that he was paying. She’d politely thanked him, and then just as politely said goodbye to him and walked out of his life.

No exchanging numbers, no addresses given, no suggestions to meet up again.

Billy came to a halt in the middle of the street, causing a couple of people to bump into him. He ignored them as he realised with a start that he was feeling bereft.

Yes… totally bereft. That was the only way to describe it.

Hey, hold on! Since when did he develop a need to have his soulmate in his life?

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Karen stared at Billy. “Why didn’t you ask her to meet up again? You dolt!” Billy was feeling miserable and this wasn’t helping. They’d shown up not long after he got home. He looked from Frank’s disbelieving face to Karen’s annoyed one, and shrugged. “She said we didn’t ever have to meet up again after lunch was over. I’m not gonna ask her after she said that!”

“Get her number? Her address? Then she’d have known you were interested in at least keeping in touch!” “She said she didn’t want a soulmate!” huffed Billy. “Yeah, after you said to her that you didn’t want one! Of course she’s going to say she doesn’t want one either.” Billy shrugged again, “Nah, she meant it. She wasn’t just sayin’ it for effect.” Frank muttered, “Can’t believe you’ve changed your mind, Bill. Think it’s cos she said she’s not interested in you?”

“No!” snarled Billy. “Well, Bill, why is it then?” Billy leaned back in his armchair, “Dunno, do I?”

Karen blew out a breath of air, “Oh, it’s obvious! She’s your soulmate! It’s difficult to ignore that pull.” Billy was just about to snap back asking how she knew that when she didn’t have one herself, but then thought better of it. “But I didn’t want a soulmate!” He realised he’d spoken in the past tense, “Don’t want a soulmate! Doesn’t the universe take that into account?!” “Nope,” said Karen firmly, “it doesn’t.”

She gave him a sly look, “And it’s also obvious that you do want your soulmate - now!” Billy shot her an irritated glance, “Yeah, but I found her - find her - attractive from the get-go so it probably is just something like Frankie said,” he glanced across at her friend, who had a satisfied smirk on his face, before looking back to Karen, “so when she said she’s not interested I just… I just…” “Wanna chase after her and capture her?” smirked Karen. “Yeah… whatever,” said Billy, “Anyhow, it don’t matter any more ‘cause she doesn’t wanna hear from me.”

Karen flourished a scrap of paper at him, “Her number!” she pronounced, triumphantly. “You get in touch with her, Billy Russo, or so help me, I’ll beat you black and blue!”

Billy’s eyes widened. The way Karen was glaring at him right now, he could honestly believe she’d do it.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

He left it a couple of days. But the scrap of paper felt like it was burning a hole in his inside jacket pocket, so eventually he took it out and flattened it down on his desktop. He stayed looking at it for several minutes, weighing the pros and cons of calling her to and fro in his mind. Should he, shouldn’t he? What was the worst thing that could happen? She could hang up on him. Yes, she could but he could live with that. Couldn’t he?

Squaring his shoulders, he slid his phone out of his pocket and dialled her number.

He cleared his throat as he listened to it ringing out. Then her voicemail clicked in, he heard her voice giving a brief message and he cursed, thankfully before the beep sounded. “Uhhh… hi. This is Billy. Hi. Er, Billy Russo. Your… er.. soulmate, you remember? I know we said we didn’t need to see each other again but uhhh… well I just thought… like, I was thinkin’… that we could maybe meet for a drink every so often. Catch up. Like, y’know, friends. Nothin’ heavy. Nothin’…” He heard another beep, and cursed again. Now he’d have to ring back. Shit! So he did, and rushed through giving her his number and saying to call him if she’d like to meet up.

He cut the call and slid his phone back into his pocket. He was twitchy, nervous, had that ‘heart in his mouth’ feeling. What the fuck was wrong with him? He shook his head and pulled out some of the personnel files he’d been going through before he called her.

At least that’d get Karen off his back. Jeez, she’d been texting him five times a day asking if he’d called her yet.

Anyway, it’s not like he cared if she called him back or not. He’d made the gesture. Now he could move on with his life. He might just go to the bar after work. Yeah. Get back to his normal way of doing things.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy looked over the women around him in the bar, and sighed. None of them immediately grabbed his attention. Maybe after a few drinks….

He looked them over again a couple of beers later. Still nothing. No spark. Nada. Then he realised with horror that he was looking for her. Only her. He ran his hands over his face. What the fuck was happening to him? Now he couldn’t even go out and pick up a woman at a bar? He spotted a redhead over in the corner. Would she do? He was about to head over to her to get a closer look when he felt his phone vibrate. It was a text message, not from Karen (thankfully she’d laid off him a little now) but from her.

His hand trembled a tiny bit as he opened his message app. He’d saved her contact details in his phone as Soulmate. Why had he done that? he wondered - it had been done without thinking.

“Hi Billy, really surprised to get your voicemail but yeah we can meet up. Let me know when and where. Bye.”

No emojis or anything but hey, that was fine by him. Billy wasn’t an emoji kind of guy. He realised he was smiling. He caught the redhead’s eye again and she seemed to be giving him a hopeful look, but… no. Billy drained the remainder of his beer and left the bar. He wanted to go home to think about ‘when and where’ in peace before texting her back. Tonight. He would text her back tonight. No use playing hard to get, he decided - that was just a stupid time-wasting game.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy opened his message app. He’d poured himself a whisky when he got in, and had sipped it while thinking about ‘when and where’. Now he’d decided. He was going to invite her here. To his apartment. His sanctuary. The holy of holies. He never brought women here. But he felt the need to have her here.

He was still really struggling with how she seemed to be changing what he did, how he thought. Was it the soulmate thing? He truly didn’t know. It could be. He didn’t know, but just look at tonight. He could’ve picked any of the women in that bar and he’d bet his bottom dollar they’d have taken him home or gone to a hotel with him. He hadn’t been interested in any of them. Not one. Now that was not how Billy usually rolled. So what had changed? The only variable was her.

Was it because she’d stated categorically that she wasn’t interested in him? That didn’t happen to him. Whichever women he hit on, they were always interested in Billy. So maybe it was just an ego thing. He shrugged, and began typing the text. Said how he’d like to cook dinner for her at home on Friday night, if that was okay with her. He hit Send and closed the app and his phone. Wonder what she’ll say, he thought and spent the next half an hour picking up his phone every 20 seconds to see if she’d replied. Which he knew she hadn’t of course, but he couldn’t resist checking.

He was at least able to laugh at himself. This is what teenage kids did. He’d missed out on all of that. When he was that age, he’d just bedded girls at school, too. Had never actually dated because he’d been too closed off, too self-absorbed. And too lazy to invest in actual relationships, if he was being totally honest. Why bother, when there were so many easy pickings to be had and then discarded as soon as he’d got what he wanted? Which was never very long after he’d shown interest.

His phone buzzed and he jumped, startled. He grabbed it. Yes, it was her! He opened the message app and read her acceptance of his invitation. Elated, he texted back an enthusiastic reply, saying he could pick her up. She replied, no thanks, she’d make her own way there. He smirked, still resisting him to an extent then. He sent her his address and suggested she come along at about 8 pm, asking if there was anything she didn’t eat. No, she said, she ate pretty much anything. Well, I’ll see you at 8, he texted.

He sat back, a satisfied smile on his face. Now he just had to decide what to cook.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

She placed her cutlery on her empty plate and lifted her wine glass to her lips, taking a sip. “Well, I have to say - that was delicious, Billy.” “Glad you enjoyed it,” Billy replied casually, secretly feeling extremely pleased with himself. He’d made a monkfish and prawn curry with sticky rice. Okay, he’d bought the curry sauce but he’d had to steam the rice, par-cook the fish and seafood before uniting it with the sauce, and he’d managed not to mess it up. He didn’t tell her he’d bought the sauce, of course. He was quite happy to let her think he’d made the entire thing, and had made sure the sauce jar was at the very bottom of the kitchen bin covered with other bits of garbage so she wouldn’t inadvertently see it.

“Your apartment’s quite special too,” she went on, “did you choose the decor?” He lifted her plate along with his and took them over to the sink in the kitchen area, before bringing the bottle of rosè out of the fridge and topping up her glass. “Most of it is was in place when I moved in,” he admitted, “but I had the bedroom redone.” She laughed, “I’ll take your word for that.” He sent a flirtatious look her way, “I was ready to give you the grand tour.” She shook her head, “No need, thanks,” smiling, “you can just describe it to me.” “But it’s so much easier if I show you,” he persisted, smirking when she sighed and agreed to view it.

She picked up her wine glass and followed him out of the living area down the short corridor to his large bedroom. There was one wall of exposed brick with a large picture window, covered by a black venetian blind, two walls painted a muted metallic bronze and one statement wall of bronze and black patterned designer wallpaper. A huge king-size bed took up space in the centre of the room, with a large built-in wardrobe along one of the bronze walls and a full-length mirror set into one of its three doors. A large flat-screen TV was attached to the wall opposite the bed.

“Very masculine, I like it,” she commented. She had taken it all in from the safety of the doorway, while Billy had walked right into the room. He turned and looked back at her, “Come on in, I don’t bite.” “Don’t you? Is this where you bring all your women, Billy?” He smiled, shaking his head, “I don’t bring women here.” She looked surprised, “You don’t?” Then she nodded, “Ahh… I know, you go to their places… or maybe, a hotel?” He felt his face heat up, “Why do you assume that’s what I do?” “Because you’re a player, Billy. You hit on me in the bar that night, remember?”

He padded back over to her, until he was right up close. She gazed up into his eyes as he looked at her intensely. “D’you blame me?” he said, “I’m really attracted to you.” “Thought you said you didn’t want a soulmate?” He smiled, “I didn’t.” He let his hand stray to her cheek, laying it gently on her skin. “But maybe I’ve changed my mind.”

She went to step back from him but his hand slid round to the back of her neck and he pulled her towards him, his lips meeting hers in a long kiss. She didn’t resist so he pulled her even closer to him and let his other hand move to her waist. His kiss became more passionate and she did pull away then, starting to walk back to the living area. “I really doubt you have, Billy,” she said over her shoulder. She headed to the sofa, sitting down and regarding him as he followed her. “It’s obvious you enjoy your single lifestyle. A lot. I’m not about to get tangled up in all that.”

“So you do want a soulmate,” he smirked, sitting down side on to her and curling one long leg beneath him, “I thought you might”. She shook her head, “No. I don’t. Certainly not one who beds half of Manhattan, anyway.” He picked up his wine glass from the coffee table, smiling as he sipped some wine, “Not any more I don’t.” She gave him a sceptical look and he continued, “The night I texted you. I’ll be honest, I went to a bar to hook up… but I didn’t. I wasn’t interested in any of them.” She smirked, “So…what? You came home alone? Really?” “Really. I got your reply and I left the bar. Alone.”

She laughed, “That must’ve been disappointing for you and your ego.” He shook his head, “No, it wasn’t. I only wanted you.” Again he got a sceptical look from her, so he scooted along the sofa until he was right next to her, putting his wine glass down again. He leant in and kissed her again, before pulling back and gazing at her. “Mmmm,” he hummed, “that’s what I want.” His head tilted down again and he ran his tongue slowly along her bottom lip. “And that,” he said, mouth moving to her neck, biting and licking gently, “…and this.” She sighed, leaning her head back on the sofa.

“I’m not going to get involved with you, Billy. You’re probably just pissed that I said that, and you’re enjoying the chase. To make me submit to you. Well, it’s not going to happen.” He pressed his body against hers as much as he could, making sure his erection was right up against the side of her thigh. “Are you sure about that? I think you want this…” a small thrust of his hard length against her leg, “…as much as I want this.” Billy’s long fingers slid along her thigh until they rested right in the centre of her lap, in the haven of warmth at the apex of her thighs. She’d turned her head to look into his eyes, “I’d be a fool to get involved with you,” she repeated, “soulmate or not.”

He began to slowly stroke her inner thigh, dark eyes gazing into hers, “I’ll prove to you I’ve changed. That I do want my soulmate. You, just you and no-one else.” He saw her lips part ever so slightly, and Billy smiled.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy opened his eyes slowly, stretching and yawning. He took particular pleasure in luxuriously stretching his long legs across his king-size bed. He touched soft skin and smiled fondly as he looked over at his soulmate’s tousled head on the pillow next to him. He gave a soft chuckle, he’d mussed up her hair again when he’d made love to her during the night. She’d grumbled a little when he’d woken her up and said he wanted sex. She didn’t fool him - their appetites were exactly the same. Quite voracious, to be honest. Well, they were soulmates after all so they aligned in many, many ways.

He placed a gentle kiss on her cheek, and she shifted slightly but didn’t wake up. Lying back down, he stared up at the ceiling, deep in thought.

Who would’ve thought that Billy Russo - ‘the Panther’ as he liked to think of himself - would have fallen under his soulmate’s spell and settled down so quickly into a monogamous relationship? Without so much as a whimper? He’d not let her go home again after that first night together. He’d had to work really hard every step of the way to get her into his bed that night, but once he’d got her there and when she’d allowed him to sink into that glorious warmth of hers, he knew he’d found his paradise on earth.

He’d lain awake the rest of that night while she slept next to him, realising among other things that he’d never actually made love until that first time with her. It had always just been quick sexual releases - no feelings, just strictly physical reactions involved. He was amazed how fast his feelings for her had literally erupted in him since he’d met her, only a few days ago. Now, he couldn’t imagine being apart from her. He was scared shitless about all of this, but there wasn’t a thing he could do about it.

He’d watched her sleep for hours after that, and asked her as soon as she awoke the next morning to move in with him. She’d looked at him as if he was a crazy person. However she had in fact stayed at his place every night since, and had let her own apartment go within a month. That had been nearly six months ago.

He slipped two long slim fingers over her left hand, which lay raised above her head slightly on the pillow. The gold band on her ring finger was also slim and shone slightly in the dim light. It sat below the large pear-shaped diamond engagement ring and the eternity ring he’d given her yesterday which she also wore. His other hand stroked a lock of wavy hair back off her face, and he placed another kiss on her soft cheek.

He looked at the slightly wider band on his own ring finger. Married! Yeah, who’d have thought it. Him, Billy Russo. Playboy supreme. After only three months, too. That soulmate BS must have something to it after all, he thought, chuckling to himself. She began to stir, and his hand dropped to her shoulder, taking comfort from every physical connection he had with her.

She’d transformed him, he knew. And he’d never been happier in his life, felt more complete. He thought back to that moment he’d felt the star on his wrist burning and was eternally grateful that he’d met his soulmate.

And Karen, well… Karen had been absolutely delighted to be able to buy that hat.

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(My photo edit)

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@blackbirddaredevil23 @omgrachwrites @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @ourloveisforthelovely @swthxrry @odetostep @supernaturalcat7 @obscurilicious @strawb3rrydr3ss @bruxa0007 @aleksanderwh0r3 @theshadowkingsqueen @bat-luna-cat @carlywhomever @paracosmenthusiast

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#billy russo #ben barnes #billy russo x reader #billy russo fanfiction #billy russo imagine #billy russo fanfic #bbficexchange2021 #bbgiftexchange2021

[aleksandersshadow]

Never Let Go - BB Secret Santa Fic Exhange

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

A/N : This is for @agirllovespaghetti​  for the BB secret santa fic exchange hosted by @the-purity-pen​ and @flightlessangelwings​  . I hope you like it and I’m sorry I couldn’t make it longer! I originally chose Caspian and wrote half of the story before being hit by a massive writers block. I couldn’t continue it because it had a lot of plot. 

---

Billy was sitting on the couch watching a show on the TV as you read the book that had finally arrived today after a long wait. He loved evenings like this, when the two of you relaxed together, not a single worry on your minds.

He looked away from the screen and his heart fluttered a bit as he took in the sight of you. You were completely immersed in the story. There was a small smile on your face and Billy found himself smiling back. 

He looked back at the TV when he heard a song play. The main leads of the show were dancing together. Billy bit his lip as the song brought back a train of memories.

Dance with me under the diamonds 

See me like breath in the cold

Billy was at your old place surrounded by piles upon piles of paperwork. He had been reading and signing documents for over 2 hours but had barely managed to make a dent in the mountain of work. You were standing near the sliding glass door that led to the garden, looking at him every now and then. Finally your patience ran out.

“Billyyy,” you whined. “Aren’t you done yet?”

“Not even halfway through yet, sweetheart.” He answered without lifting his gaze from the pages in front of him.

“Oh.”

Hearing the disappointment in your voice, Billy finally looked up and stretched. 

“You wanna do something?” he asked.

“Not really. Just..take a break?” You tell him.

He smiled as he got up and took you outside, his hand in yours. He had to admit, the fresh cool air felt delicious after sitting on a chair behind a stifling pile of papers for so long. It was a clear night, your face was shining in the moonlight. 

“What are you doing?” you giggled as Billy hooked an arm around your waist and pulled you close.

Instead of answering, he started to sway. You copied his steps and soon the two of you were dancing under the stars without any music like a pair of lovesick fools.

Sleep with me here in the silence

Come kiss me silver and gold

The wound hurt like a bitch but Billy was too stubborn to admit. He had even been getting ready for work before you had woken up and dragged him back to bed exasperatedly.He had stayed put since that, but the pain had increased because of his hurried movements. Billy knew that he had scared you badly when he had arrived home in the middle of the night that Friday with his shirt drenched in blood. Some of it belonged to him, some didn’t. A job had gone wrong and one of the consequences was the stab wound on Billy’s upper abdomen. He didn’t want to wake you up and worry you so he tried to ignore the throbbing injury. Billy squinted as sunlight began to creep into the room. The pale curtains were slowly turning golden. He shifted to get into a more comfortable position and ended up on his side, facing you. Half of your body was touched by the sunlight, giving you an ethereal glow. Not for the first time, Billy thanked the universe for your presence in his life. He fell asleep after a few minutes with a smile on his face.

Looking back on my life

You’re the only good I’ve ever done

Billy inhaled deeply as a strange feeling enveloped him. He knew he wasn’t a good man. His moral compass was like a roulette wheel. How he had earned your companionship was beyond him. He felt as if everything he was or had accomplished, it was because of you. And none of it would matter if you left. You were the best thing in his life without a doubt.

 Every morning I find you

I fear the day that I won’t

There were days he got insecure. The abandonment issues had seeped into his heart and planted themselves there firmly. After all, there were better people out there. More deserving of you. Who didn’t have the blood of countless people on their hands.

You say that I won’t lose you but you can’t predict the future

‘Cause certain things are out of our control

You had developed the ability to know when Billy got into one of his moods. Sometimes it felt like you realized what he was feeling before he did himself. You reassured him with your words, your actions. With your unconditional, never-ending support. Once, at the beginning of your relationship, he was feeling terribly and he had told you bluntly that you couldn’t predict the future. He had calmed down when you smiled softly and said, “I believe in us.”

If you ever move on without me…

Billy got out of the memory lane and up on his feet, sitting in front of you before he even realized what he was about to do. You marked the page and closed your book, surprised.

“Y/N..I gotta tell you something.”

“Is everything alright?” you asked anxiously.

“I…” 

He didn’t have any speech prepared. Nor had he planned some grand gesture as one would assume he would for something like this. In that moment, all that mattered was that he had you with him.

“I love you.” 

That you are the only one I’ll ever love

Billy waited for you to look surprised, apprehensive, anything. Instead you looked down and smiled.

“I know, Billy. I love you too.”

He gasped and pulled you until there was no space left between you and him. The world faded around you, the sounds disappeared. All that you felt was Billy. His arms around you, his lips on yours. In that moment, the two of you were all that mattered.

Just hold on like you will never let go

#billy russo x reader #bbficexchange2021 #billy russo #billy russo imagine #billy russo and you #ben barnes #ben barnes fic #ben barnes imagine #ben barnes character #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes fluff

[stardustmorozov]

Winter Stitches

A/N: First of all, Huuuuuuuge shout-out to @ramadiiiisme for helping me out with the bones of this fic. You really have been my Lucky Charm this period and I can't thank you enough. Secondly: this is a gift fic for @mikeisthricedeceased for the Secret Santa Fic Exchange hosted by @the-purity-pen and @flightlessangelwings!

Pairing: Darkling x GN!Reader

Warnings: vague discriptions of gun violence, someone being stitched up, mentions of blood, needle and thread stitches, there was only one bed, huddling for warmth, ambigious ending

Word Count: 1574

When exactly it had all gone wrong you didn't know. One moment the white powdered world around you had been magically quiet, the next you and the General were running for your lives, dodging bullets left and right. Normally you would have no problem with taking the offenders out, but they were with too many for the two of you to handle alone.

Whether it was luck or a trap, you didn't know as you spotted a cabin hidden between the trees and foilage, the sounds of gunfire and the whispers of bullets zipping past, fading the closer you got.

Neither of you seemed to overthink the sudden blessing as you ducked into the empty cabin, the door slamming shut as your heart beat frantically in your ribcage. The realisation that you were either trapped or saved slowly settling in your mind now that you weren't focussed on dodging bullets anymore.

It was nearly impossible to hear if your persuers were closing in on you over the heavy rushing of blood in your ears, but eventually, the last of shouts seemed to die down as you heard orders being given about returning to camp.

It was only then that you turned back to your general, who had shed his Kefta and was quietly cursing as he inspected, what seemed to be a bullet wound. Picking at the pieces of fabric that had gotten into the wound. And on a second look you notice the place where he has gotten shot.

His guts.

You feel the blood drain from your face as the realisation hits you and as by instinct, you moved from your place at the door to look for a first aid kit. Surprisingly, the kit you manage to find is mostly complete, the only things missing being a set of small plaster bandages and a pair of scissors, but you know you don't need them as you put the kit on the single table the cabin possessed.

Putting the necessary equipment on the table, you feel the general's gaze on you and you momentarily stop what you're doing to look at him.

"What?"

"You know your way around a first aid kit?"

"Kind of a requirement where I come from. Basically grew up with it, so..." You gesture at him in the hoping he understands what you're planning as you put the final items on the table whilst kicking one of the chairs out in a fluid motion.

"If you wanted me to get naked all you had to do was ask," he chuckles and you can feel your face heat up as butterflies erupt in your stomach and you wathc the chair as it dances for a few moments, almost afraid it was going to tople over until it finally settles with a few decisive bangs on the wooden floor.

"And here I thought our general was above such things," you said as you poured some rubbing alcohol onto a cotton swab.

There came a chuckle from him, but you barely paid attention to it as you focussed on the wound, trying your hardest not to be distracted by the fact that he was closer to you than he had ever been as you picked up the set of long tweezers to remove the bullet.

Much to your relief, the projectile never went far enough to create any life threatening injuries and was removed fairly easily as you quickly pressed the alcohol soaked swab on it to both stop the bleeding and disinfect the wound, making him hiss in pain above you.

You muttered a quiet apology, removing the excess blood around the wound and pressing a clean bit of cotton against the wound until it stopped bleeding enough that you could stitch it.

Once you were finished patching him up, you packed the unused parts of the kit into their designated pockets and put it back where you found it, somewhere expecting the general to put his clothes back on. So when you turned back up to see what else the cabin had to offer, your eyes were drawn to his still naked chest and with no task to distract you, you found it much more difficult to keep your eyes off him.

His chest was littered with faded scars of battles long past and you found yourself wondering what it would be like to feel them under your fingertips. It also didn't help that his chest was far more toned than you first noticed when you were stitching him up, as you quickly made your way to the fireplace, hoping to find enough wood to keep you both warm through the night.

A silent slew of curses left you as you went looking for anything else that you could afford to burn, but to no avail. What there was however, and you didn't want to admit was appealing to you, was a bed a and a pile of thick hides. It almost seemed surreal. This was a scenario straight out of the little romance novels you always secretly read in the library when you were little, not something that was actually happening to you. Right?

And yet there it was. The opportunity to be even closer with him than a few minutes ago presenting itself like low hanging fruit.

"What is going on in that pretty head of yours?"

"Nothing I want to be a part of currently."

"Care to share then?"

You raised your eyebrows at that. “...No..."

The absurdity of the situation still didn't seem to settle in your mind. That it couldn't be real, you were dreaming and any moment you could wake up alone, in your own bed. Safe at the Little Palace.

It had barely been an hour after the sun had fully disappeared behind the horizon and the first stars had started to show in the sky that you felt like you were freezing, despite your best efforts to keep yourself warm whilst also pointedly ignoring the gaze of the man you'd stitched up a some hours ago.

It had started not long after he'd gotten under the hides but you couldn't figure out why he kept staring at you, and if you were honest with yourself, you didn't know if you wanted him to stop or not.

"You really are more stubborn than you look huh?"

Your head snapped over to where the general had sat up, still only occupying part of the hides.

"I'll survive."

"You're freezing."

There was an authorative tone to his voice, as if he just gave you an order rather than assessing your state of being. Your muscles moved to get you up, but you stopped yourself. There was no way you'd get that chance, you refused to believe it.

"Do you find pleasure in pointing out the obvious?"

You blew the somewhat warm breath you could get out of your lungs into your freezing hands as you frantically rubbed them together in the hope that you wouldn't lose your fingers, before sticking them back under your armpits. But it was of precious little help.

There was a sigh from him as you stubbornly remained in your place, curling impossibly further up into yourself as you tried you best to preserve what little body heat you still had.

"Take of your clothes."

The absurdity of the order was barely registered by your conciousness as your eyes might as well have fallen out of their sockets because of how much his words shocked you.

"Have you gone mad? If I do that I will absolutely die."

"Do I really have to spell it out for you? Or are you just to stubborn for your own good?"

His voice sounded more annoyed than you had expected and you instantly felt guilty for not getting the hint. Or rather, a hint that you had thought was not meant for you. As if there had been someone else in the room with you and you began pulling cords and buttons to release the the fabric confines from your body until you were left in your under clothes, which were a near sheer shirt and a pair of knickers and you could feel the little warmth you still had leave your body as you finally got under the hides.

In contrast, you could feel the heat radiating off of the man next to you, who draped, with some difficulty, the biggest hide over the both of you, the heat coming off from him now trapped between the two of you.

Once you were no longer shivering because of how cold you were, you dared yourself to start to doze off, the risk of not being able to wake up now far away enough in your mind and instinctively, you moved closer to the man next to you, your mind too hazy to think of anything but the warmth he was providing and the sleep that was waiting for you, just around the corner of your mind but the general had other plans.

"Not yet, malen'kiy. You're still too cold,” he said, rocking you gently, trying to keep you awake, but your mind had already started to doze off with no intentions of coming back to the surface anytime soon.

The only thing you registered before you fell into a deep sleep, was the presence of a warm body pressing itself against yours and a voice silently begging for you to survive...

#bbficexchange2021 #Darkling x Reader #GN!Reader #gn!reader #darkling fluff #general kirigan x reader #aleksander kirigan x reader #aleksander morozova x reader #and there was only one bed #huddling for warmth #hurt/comfort #somewhat at least

[stuckysdaughter]

Ben Barnes Secret Santa 2021

Summary: My Secret Santa gift for all-art-is-quite-useless! An enemies to lovers with the wonderful Billy Russo!

TW: light smut, 18+, some cursing, mentions of blood, injuries, mentions of guns/shooting

Tagging: @the-purity-pen @all-art-is-quite-useless @rachlovesactors @eginv-blog @my-day6

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You and Billy Russo really don't get along, no not at all. He rubbed you the wrong way, and vice versa. You didn't understand how Frank could put up with him. Alright, you understood that there was a special bond between the Marines. But that doesn't mean you have to have the same connection!

******

You met at Karen’s birthday party. She was one of your oldest friends, dating back to sophomore year in high school. You wouldn't have missed this day for the world.

"Y/N, c'mere, I want you to meet someone!"

"Comin'," you shouted back from the kitchen where you were refilling your glass.

You saw a man standing by her, and you knew this was another attempt for a setup. Karen had been trying to set you up with her friends or Frank's friends since your last breakup, and the last one was a horrible disaster. You had a sinking feeling this one would be too.

The man had dark hair, styled to perfection. It had to be, since he was the only one wearing a suit, pretentious ass. He turned around to face you, and you were met with pitch black eyes.

"Y/N, this is Billy. Billy, this is my best friend Y/N."

He flashed you a charming smirk, and you instantly remembered all the stories you were told about him. His way with the girls and the speed at which he went through them. No way, uh uh.

"Pleasure to meet you, Y/N."

"You as well, Billy. But sorry, not gonna happen."

His face contorted into shock and then anger, "Excuse me?"

"Karen is clearly trying to set me up with you. I've heard all the stories, I know how you are with the women you're with if you can even call it that. So sorry, but no thanks."

Karen looked uncomfortable, and you knew you were right. She tried to set you up and you tossed out that idea at first glance. Karen also knew about Billy's temper, which was only rivaled by your own. She slowly backed away from you both, and silently excused herself.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what I did to solicit this, but I assure you whatever it is, it's wrong."

"Oh really?" You were just adding fuel to the fire now, egged on by his growing anger. "So the stories about all the one night stands aren't true? Or how you were with that Agent Madani until she got in your way?"

His jaw clenched, and a muscle in his cheek twitched. "Well then, sweetheart," he leered at you, "Let me tell you all the things I've heard about you."

Oh, shit.

"Is it true that your longest relationship was a year? And that you broke it off because you couldn't stand him any longer? Or is that just a lie because I'm pretty sure if I were him, I'd leave as fast as I could."

His smirk grew as he watched you stew in anger. You weren't going to make a scene, not now, not on your best friend's birthday. But you sure as hell couldn't be around this asshole anymore. Shaking with pent up hatred, you left him there, and found some of your other friends to talk to.

******

You ran into each other a few more times the following weeks. Each time neither of you spoke to each other unless you had to, followed by some sort of jab. It became a game of yours, to see who got the last word. Your friends were getting tired of it, because they could clearly see you were attracted to each other. You weren't going to deny him his looks, he was admittedly a handsome man. But, you weren't going to fall for his charms and his lies, not like those other girls.

This time, however, was different. It was late evening, and you were about to turn in for the night. You put on your pajamas, and wiped off the light makeup you wore. As you were finishing your nightly routine, the doorbell rang. You weren't expecting any visitors, especially not at this hour, so you grabbed the baseball bat you kept close by just in case. Looking through the peephole of your door, you saw it was Billy.

What the fuck, what is he doing here?

Then you got a closer look at him, and how he was leaning to one side. You noted his ruffled hair as you opened the door, and you saw the blood streaming down his leg.

"Oh my God, Billy, are you alright? Get in here, let me look at that."

You ushered him into your apartment, and you saw he was limping, favoring his left leg. You led him to the bathroom, and turned around as he slowly cut his dark trousers for you to get better access.

You saw the bullet wound and you fought the urge to puke. It looked like he had managed to take the bullet out, but stopped after that. You were by no means a doctor, but you knew it at least needed to be cleaned and wrapped.

You grabbed the nearest thing of gauze bandages, and a ratty washcloth. You dampened the cloth with water from the sink, and started cleaning the area around the wound. Once you could see what you were looking at, you realized it wasn't as bad as you originally thought. It was in the meat of his leg, but it didn't appear to have hit anything important. It was also done bleeding, except for the occasional dribble. When you were sure that it was sufficiently cleaned, you wrapped his leg with gauze and taped it.

"There. I still suggest you go to the hospital and get it looked at, but I guess this will do for now." You looked at him, and said, "I suppose I don't want to know how you got this, correct?"

Billy just sighed, and looked down at the floor. "I don't think you do, no. I'm sorry to just show up here, but your place was the closest."

"Don't apologize," You leaned back against the wall. "Being a nurse wasn't on my list for today, but I'm glad I could help." There was a moment of silence before you spoke up again. "That doesn't mean we're friends, just to be clear."

He laughed, and a grin rose to his face. A genuine grin, one you'd only ever seen him give to Frank and Karen. "Wouldn't dream of it, princess."

******

After that day, something between the two of you changed. It was still tense, but in a different way. Like you both wanted to say something, but was holding back. You still fought at every chance, but it was lighter, less fierce. You weren't sure what exactly brought on this change, but you knew it had something to do with that night.

Frank and Karen were just waiting for the two of you to admit how you felt. They knew you were perfect for each other, they just didn't plan on how stubborn you'd be. This time they'd get you together, once and for all. They invited you both over to their place for dinner, hoping that this time you'd finally say something.

It was near the end of the night that you had a moment alone. The couple went to wash dishes, and you and Billy went to the living room to sit and wait for them. You shared the small couch, your legs just barely touching.

"Y/N-"

"Billy-" You laughed, and turned to face the man. "You first."

"Ok," he paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts. "Y/N, there's something I've been meaning to say for a while now, I just didn't know how to tell you."

"Ok..."

"I really like you, Y/N. I don't really know what this is," he gestured between the two of you, "But I'd really like to take you out sometime. If you'll let me, that is. I know how you feel about my personal life."

You were shocked, unable to form any words. But stronger than that was your pure joy at what Billy just said. It made what you were about to say so much easier.

"Billy, I don't know what this is either. But what I do know, is that I really like you too. I'd be honored if you'd go out with me."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really."

Billy wasted no time, pulling you close into a kiss. His hands cupped your face, as your own wrapped around his neck. He pulled you onto his lap, and his hands went up the back of your shirt.

"Wait, wait," You pulled away for a moment. "We're still at Frank's place."

Billy blushed a deep red, as he seemed to grow more aware of his surroundings. "Right, yeah we are."

You quirked an eyebrow as you met his dark gaze. "My place?"

******

You kicked the door closed with your heel as you stumbled into the room. You had made your hasty goodbyes, missing the look the pair flashed each other. Now that you reached your apartment, his lips were once again on yours. It felt like you were on fire, warmth spreading throughout your body.

You reached the bed in no time, excited for the pleasure that awaited you both. Clothes were flying everywhere, off faster than you thought possible. You both climbed on, and you went to lower yourself to press your lips to his hardened length. He stopped you before you could, though.

“Ah ah, princess. Tonight is all about you. Come here.”

He motioned you over to him, and grabbed hold of your hips to pull you close. You were sitting on his lap now, and you could feel his erection throbbing beneath you. He kissed you with a passion you had never felt before, and it took your breath away. He pulled away, and drew his attention to your breasts. He took one into his mouth, and massaged the other with his hand. Billy took extra care to give equal attention to both, not wanting you to feel slighted by his affections.

When he was satisfied with his work there, he pressed feather light kisses in a trail down your stomach. As he kissed your body, he lowered his own, until he was lying underneath you. You were already wet with anticipation, and when Billy saw he gave a wolfish grin.

“So wet for me, already, princess?” He licked along your slit, gathering some of your juices on his tongue. “You taste so good, darling. So sweet."

Your lover continued his ministrations, and you were so lost in the pleasure already. He had just barely started and you were already so close. Billy tightened his grip on your hips to keep you steady above his face. Once you were situated, he swirled his tongue around your bud before plunging it into your cunt. His tongue found the right spot with the ease coming only from years of practice. You cried out in ecstasy, Billy moaning at the sound. Your hands were tangling in his hair, urging him on.

He picked up the pace, going faster and harder. He took out his tongue, and quickly placed his lips on your fold. He sucked on it like he needed it to survive, and you knew you were close.

“Fuck, Billy… I-I’m gonna…”

“Let go, Y/N. Cum for me.”

You released on the spot, Billy lapping up your juices, not losing a drop. He worked you through your high, helping you come down from it, until you were panting big heavy breaths.

Billy sat up, and wiped his chin with the back of his hand. Your cum was down his face, but he still licked his fingers clean with each swipe. He met your eyes as he finished sucking on his fingers, and you rushed over to claim his lips with yours. You could taste the remnants that were on his lips.

He pushed you onto your back, and lined himself up with your entrance. With one thrust, he was seated all the way in you. You nodded your head quickly, letting him know you were ok to continue. He then started moving inside you, soaking up the moans that were slipping past your lips. Faster and faster he went, and you once again felt your arousal approaching.

"Ohh, Billy..."

"Fuck, Y/N..."

Within moments, you both were coming, highs overtaking you. He pulled out of you, and flopped down beside you. Panting heavily, he pulled you close to him so your head could rest on his chest. Billy pressed a light kiss to your hair, and gently ran his hand through it.

"Billy?"

He looked down at you the best he could. "Yes, Y/N?"

"This isn't like the stories I've heard about you, right? I didn't just become another notch in the bedpost?"

His answer came quick. "No, darling, no. I want to keep seeing you, keep doing this. As long as you'll let me."

You smiled, and curled back into his chest, content for the first time in a long while. You really hated that damn Billy Russo. But you also loved him with your whole heart, the same way that he loved you in return.

------

THE END

Author's Notes: Happy Holidays, everyone! I hope you liked this fic, I spent a lot of time on it. It was harder to get the reader's voice on this one, since I don't naturally pick fights with people like that haha. And I am not a nurse, so please don’t quote me on how to clean wounds like that. I used the almighty google, but again, I’m not a nurse. But, I am proud of this one, and I hope you all enjoyed it. I hope you enjoyed your gift, @all-art-is-quite-useless! I tried to follow your requests as close as possible. Let me know if anyone wants to be added to the taglist, or if anyone wants me to write something specific. Requests are open, I've got one or two going at the moment, but more are always welcome. Happy Holidays, everyone, and enjoy the rest of the 2021 Secret Santa Celebrations!!

#bbficexchange2021 #ben barnes imagines #ben barnes imagine #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes/reader #billy russo #billy russo imagine #billy russo x female reader #billy russo x reader #billy russo x y/n #billy russo x you #billy russo/reader #secret santa

[shadow-assassin-blix]

Never Thought This Would Happen

Soulmate AU: Combination of two different soulmate ideas. You can feel each other’s physical pains and if you write on your body, it will show up on your soulmate’s as well.

This is for the Ben Barnes Secret Santa fic exchange. @fific7​ I hope you enjoy this!  

Billy Russo x reader. Word count: 5137.

Warnings: Mentions of being hit by a car, some canon typical violence (neither incidents are overly detailed) and Billy talking about his past abuse. Lots of fluff, some angst, a dash of spice.

Happy Holidays! 

Soulmate. The concept always made Billy scoff. He didn’t believe in it despite the fact that whatever happened to your body, whether it was an injury, or a message written on their body you could feel/see it. He very often rolled his eyes when he would see a silly message on his arm. His soulmate greatly enjoyed drawing smiley faces or sending puns. He tended to ignore it. Hell. He didn’t even think about the potential pain he put her through when he joined the marines. Nor did he think about it when he, Frank, and Curtis created Anvil together and went on dangerous missions together.

He didn’t think about… until the day he met her in the hospital.

It was supposed to be an ordinary guard job. Protect the rich schmuck from retaliation as he campaigned to be New York’s Mayor. No one suspected that someone would be so angry about his political views, that they would try and take him out. Frank wound up getting shot trying to protect him. The three of them were at the hospital, as Frank was prepped for surgery to remove the bullets and the fragments.

Most of the day he had felt a tickling sensation on his arm, as his soulmate sent message after message to him. It was starting to annoy him. He and Curtis were waiting for a doctor to tell them about Frank’s progress, when Billy felt a sudden pain randomly throughout his body. The pain was overwhelming to the point where he had to sit down; Curtis trying to help by coaching him through breathing techniques.

As that occurred, the doors to the emergency room burst open as EMTs raced in pushing a gurney with a young woman on it.

Several doctors and nurses sprung into action, asking for the details about what happened.

“Car accident. Young lady was hit trying to walk across the street. Several bones are broken, and we suspect that she has some internal bleeding. Guy ran the red light going 80mph,” One of the EMT’s explained quickly.

Billy spotted as she was pushed past several doodles and words on her arms. Billy took off his suit jacket and rolled up sleeve; his mind hoping that he was wrong. That this was just a coincidence.

He saw the words “Hey! I’m in NY right now, and wow! Everything is amazing! Is it silly that I kinda hope you live in the area?” “Trying a slice of NY style pizza for the 1st time!” with a doodle of a pizza slice next to it. He looked between his arm and hers, and he realized… with growing concern… that they matched.

She was rolled back into surgery, and he stared at the doors with a blank face.

“Hey man? Talk to me. What’s going through that brain of yours? Did you know that girl?” Curtis questioned him, trying to figure out why Billy was so freaked out.

“I… I think that was my soulmate?” Billy breathed once it finally registered.

Curtis stared at him in mild shock, “I don’t know whether to feel bad for you or laugh. The forever bachelor’s soulmate has appeared.”

Billy honestly didn’t know how to feel either. His first thought was to avoid her at all costs. He focused his attention on Frank and making sure he stayed safe.

It wasn’t until several hours later that they were informed that Frank was resting comfortably in his own room. Surgery was a success.

The nurse informed them that only one visitor at a time could see him, so while Curtis stepped inside, Billy stayed out in the hall. While he waited, he noticed that in the room next to Frank’s, was his soulmate.

‘It’s…it’s not possible right? It’s… it’s just a coincidence?’ He thought as he stepped into her room, hesitantly.

He walked over to her, his eyes roving over the many bandages that covered her body.

He pulled out a pen, and drew a random swirl on his hand, his eyes staring intently at hers. A moment passed and a swirl appeared on her hand, identical to his.

“So, it really is you?” Billy sighed, unsure of how to feel.

Billy was adamant he would never meet his soulmate, and that if he did, he would ignore them. He wasn’t one to be tied down. However, he didn’t expect that this is how they would meet. This was the first time he ever truly felt pain from his soulmate, and it was eye-opening. It made him… feel a bit guilty… for his lack of care in avoiding getting harmed.

He walked back out into the hallway trying to figure out… Figure out what? His next move? Did… did he want to get to know her? He almost felt like he had to explain himself to her. Or… did he actually want to get to know her? His thoughts felt chaotic.

Maybe… maybe if he talked to Frank? Frank who had found a second in Karen, his first soulmate being Marie. Maybe… maybe he’d know what to do?

Curtis had stepped out of Frank’s room, and was going to call Karen, to let her know what happened, so Billy figured now would be best.

Billy took a seat next to his bed, and Frank sighed heavily.

“Sometimes… I really hate our job,” Frank joked slightly.

“But… we’re good at it, right?” Billy tossed back, with a slight smirk.

Frank shook his head, before staring at him seriously, “So… Curtis mentioned something strange. Your soulmate… is here?”

“…Yeah. She’s uhh. She’s next door in fact. I… I’m not sure what to do,” Billy admitted.

“Wasn’t your original plan something along the lines of ‘pretend they don’t exist?’ You were always so sure of that response,” Frank pointed out, with a slight frown.

“..Yeah.. However, it wasn’t until today that… I realized just how much that shit hurts, when you are able to feel their pain,” Billy began scratching at his chin before trying to dismiss, “I guess part of me feels a bit guilty for the constant shit I put my body through.”

“Well… the Marines was one thing… but you do realize that she probably also felt..” Frank jerked his head toward Billy’s shoulder.

Billy froze at that realization. He never thought about the possibility that she may have felt him being attacked by that bastard when he was a kid. He touched his shoulder, trying not to think too deeply about the memories.

“…What do you think I should do?” Billy asked quietly.

“I mean… I know what I would. Go next door and introduce myself. I also know that for all the confidence you have brother, you have never been one for commitment. Whether that’s due to you trying to protect yourself or if you really think you’d be happier being the forever bachelor, I don’t know. I do know that you owe her some explanation for the hell you’ve probably put her through. Not saying you have to immediately fall in love and date her but have a conversation with her and go from there,” Frank answered with a sigh.

“When did you get so wise?” Billy joked weakly.

“Marie. She always wanted the best for you, you know? Wanted you happy and be with someone who made you feel whole,” Frank said with a chuckle.

Billy shook his head thinking about Marie and her constant fretting. Billy moved to say something else, but he heard Karen’s voice freaking out in the hallway. Billy snorted standing up and making his way back out to the hallway as Karen rushed past.

A couple of hours passed, as Curtis and Billy made several phone calls trying to put out the fires that had occurred due to the shooting. Once everything had settled the two of them took a breath, sitting down.

Curtis was talking to him about something, but Billy didn’t hear him as he noticed a doctor and nurse walk into the room that held his soulmate. His focus was zeroed in on her.

A few minutes passed before the staff walked out, and Curtis had given up trying to get Billy’s attention.

Billy wasn’t sure how but suddenly he was standing in her doorway, about to step in. He pulled out the pen he had on him, gripping it tightly as he moved further in.

The woman, his soulmate, looked up at him, confused… and slightly worried.

“Hello? May I help you?” Her voice asked him cautiously.

Billy slowly lifted the pen and wrote ‘hello’ on his hand. The woman watched him curiously, before looking down at her own hand a moment later.

She gasped lightly as she looked between the two of them.

“Umm. Hey?” He started with a wince, feeling awkward.

She stared at him for a moment, before saying, “Bummer.”

It was Billy’s turn to be confused, “Excuse me?”

“Was hoping you’d be ugly. It would at least make up for the fact that you’ve ignored me and the bullshit pain I’ve gone through because of you. But nooo. You had to be drop dead gorgeous,” She grumbled slightly, shaking her head.

Billy stared at her blankly for a moment and after he processed what she said he weakly chuckled, “Think you’re the first person to ever be disappointed by me being handsome.”

“Oh! I’m not disappointed! Please don’t take what I said too seriously! I just… I mean… never thought that this is how we would meet y’know?” She said worriedly.

“Not gonna lie. I never thought this would happen either. Are you… are you okay?” He asked her, his eyes glancing at the many bandages.

“Yeah. I’m good for now. Can’t believe it took me getting hit by a car for my soulmate to actually write back to me,” She said with a teasing smile.

“Well, not gonna lie, besides the occasional random pains in my abdomen and papercuts, you’ve lived your life pretty cautiously. So, it was kind of flooring to feel all that pain and then… see you pass by while I was waiting to hear on my friend,” Billy noted, sighing. “He had gotten shot and was in surgery when you were rolled by me.”

“Oh wow. That’s quite the double whammy. Umm. By the way… what’s your name? Cause mentally I keep calling you Handsome and I don’t want to accidentally say it aloud when we’ve only just met,” The woman reminded him.

“Billy Russo. It’s a pleasure to meet you…” Billy began.

She told him her name before saying “You can call me London though. It’s a nickname that my friends gave me.”

“Why London?” Billy asked curiously.

“I lived in England for many years. It was practically home for me. However, as a photographer, I tend to travel as much as possible. Never been one to settle down in one location,” London explained to him. “My friends chose London cause that’s where a big portion of my first portfolios were set in.”

Billy opened his mouth to say something else when his phone rang. He sighed heavily, apologizing as he answered it.

“Russo,” He stated first, listening to the person talking. “What are you talking about? The job is done. We are not going to protect someone who refused to give us all the facts about the threats against him. He can find someone else to take bullets for him. I am not putting my team at risk again.”

He hung up with a growl of annoyance.

“Hm. That… that was oddly sexy,” London mumbled to herself.

Billy ran a hand down his face, feeling exhausted.

“Sorry. Umm. Work. So… are you here in New York for work or for fun?” Billy asked trying to seem casual.

“Both. I have a couple of weddings, and other jobs lined up, especially with journalists. Was supposed to meet a journalist to talk about some company called Anvil? I don’t know,” London said with a shrug.

Billy froze then chuckled.

“What?” London asked him, head tilted trying to figure him out.

“Well. It seems that… fate was going to bring you to me no matter what. I own Anvil. My best friends, Frank Castle and Curtis Hoyle, run it with me. I… I can’t believe this,” Billy shook his head in disbelief.

“Whoa. No way. You’re the CEO of the security agency? The former marine? And whoa wait… You’re best friends with the Punisher?” London couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“Yes to all of the above,” Billy answered with pride.

“Marine. Hmm. Well. That explains a lot,” She said somewhat quietly.

Billy moved further into her room finally, asking silently if he could sit. At her nod, he does so.

“Uh. Yeah. Sorry about that… I guess I was. Well. Am pretty cavalier with my life. Most of what you felt was from me in the marines, and I apologize for not… taking your feelings into consideration. I’m sure… those pains were pretty alarming to you?” Billy apologized to her, feeling it was necessary.

“Yeah… it’s… quite the shocker to suddenly feel like I was shot and nothing to show for it. However, I will forgive you if…” She trailed off.

“If what?” Billy asked her, trying to appear annoyed.

“If… you give me a grand tour of NY. All of the best places to go. It doesn’t have to be… a romantic date or anything. I just want to get to know you, if you are down for that?” She proposed to him.

Billy looked at her for a moment. Really looked at her. Taking in her features, and her soft smile.

“I think I can handle that. Shall we exchange numbers? You can tell me when you’re released, and I can come get you if you’d like?” Billy offered.

Her smiled brightened and Billy found himself smiling back. A part of him was chastising himself, asking ‘why would you offer that? You don’t know this woman? Even if she is your soulmate? What happened to not wanting anything to do with her?’ However, a larger part of him desperately wanted to see her smile again.

They exchanged numbers, and he left her to rest alone. He stepped out into the hallway to see Curtis smirking at him.

“How did it go Prince Charming?” Curtis asked teasingly.

“Surprisingly well. So, let’s… let’s go get some grub… or a drink or two, yeah?” Billy suggested to him.

Curtis nodded his head and the two of them were off to their usual haunt; a local bar that served burgers and fries. The two of them after ordering, sat at the bar idly chatting. About 20 minutes had passed and Curtis started chuckling at him, out of the blue.

“What? What’s so funny?” Billy questioned him.

“Appears that soulmate of yours is occupying your mind. At least 3 women have tried flirting with you and you’ve yet to notice,” Curtis said once his laughter had calmed down.

Billy blinked, looking at him in mild confusion, “Huh?”

“You got it bad man. 20 minutes in and she already got you hooked,” Curtis said with a shake of his head.

Billy had no idea how to respond to that. He just continued drinking his beer, and further distracted himself when the food came out. It was true, he was thinking about London, but he didn’t want to admit that. He was going to take this one day at time, and just go from there.

A few days later, both Frank and London were being released from the hospital. Billy waited outside with Karen who kept staring at him confused. Most likely due to the fact that he held a small teddy bear.

London was rolled out first and Billy smiled smally at her walking over to meet her.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” He asked her as he and the nurse helped her stand up.

“I’m okay. Sore. But okay. Is that for me?” She asked him, looking at the teddy bear.

“Yes. Thought about flowers but wasn’t sure if you had any allergies. Figured the bear was the safer option,” Billy somewhat mumbled, sheepishly.

She quietly told him her favorite flower, and said, “The bear is very cute though, so thank you.”

Billy cleared his throat as he handed it to her, and then walked her over to his car. Billy was so preoccupied with her that he failed to notice Frank coming out and staring at him with a growing smirk.

Karen stood next to him, looking between him and Billy, questions littering her face.

“His soulmate. Guess Curtis was right, his attention really has become centered around her,” Frank spoke lowly, watching Billy take off in his car once he got her situated.

Karen snorted, trying not to laugh.

“Poor guy. Never seen him look so nervous, which didn’t make sense until now. Think he’s ever going to actually introduce her to us?” Karen asked as she and Frank moved to her car.

“Once the whole thing fully settles in his mind. I’m sure part of him still is trying to process this. Knowing him, he might come to a point where he distances himself from her for a time. When you’re used to being disappointed a lot, you tend to expect it,” Frank answered once they were in the car.

Back with Billy, they were halfway to her apartment that she was staying at.

“So… I know you said you were in New York for work… how long are you here for?” Billy questioned breaking the silence.

“I am booked out for the next year for various events. Trying to get rid of me already?” She lightly teased him.

“No. I was just.. wondering. You said the other day that you don’t like to be tied down to one place for too long,” Billy trailed off, not sure why the thought bothered him.

“Oh. I did say that didn’t I? I mean… I can find a reason or two to stay here already. However, we have a year to figure things out. We have time to decide… whatever we want this to be,” She offered, hesitantly moving to hold his hand, hers hovering over his.

Billy nodded not looking at her as he quietly grasped her hand and held it.

She bit her lip trying to hide her smile as she watched him. She could tell he was not used to this. Granted, it had been a while since she had been in a relationship herself, and her longest relationship didn’t last more than a couple of months. Between them finding their own soulmates, and others hating that she traveled for work, dating was difficult.

He took her home, and they discussed their plans for tomorrow. They discussed going to Central Park Zoo and taking a stroll around the park. She never got to try NY style pizza the other day, so they made a plan to go get a slice or 2 for lunch.

He made sure she was settled and comfortable, before leaving her.

The next day rolled around, and the two of them began their… date? At the zoo. She brought her camera with her, taking candids/snapshots of all the animals. Unbeknownst to him, she took a few shots of him while he wasn’t paying attention. He eventually caught on, playfully glaring at her.

“Alright my little shutterbug, shall we go get pizza?” Billy asked as they reached the end.

“‘My little shutterbug?’ Don’t think anyone’s ever called me that before. But yes. Let’s goooo,” She cheered.

The two of them ate, and Billy couldn’t help but think about how adorable she was while she listened intently to him explain the proper way to eat a slice of NY style pizza. Even moreso when she was eating and making a mess of herself.

Once they finished eating, they started the walk toward her apartment due to her feeling exhausted.

“Sorry. I feel like such an old lady, but everything is starting to feel sore again,” She explained with a wince.

“Don’t be. I understand. Do you need anything before I go?” Billy inquired, as she made her way inside and he stood in her doorway.

“I’m good. You… you can come in y’know?” She pointed out as she looked back at him.

Billy slowly took a step in, feeling very much not like himself. He was usually overly confident and self-assured and would have strutted in without any uncertainties.

He looked around her apartment and saw a lot of photography equipment, and photos scattered everywhere.

“So… would you like to… stay… and watch a movie or two?” She asked him after taking some medicine.

“Depends… Are you going to make me watch chick flicks?” Billy shot back with a raised eyebrow.

“I mean… while I do have some chick flicks, I have a great deal of other genres lots of action. Basically, every Disney movie possible,” She began listing, but stopped when she saw his nose twinge. “Do… do you not like Disney?”

“Never saw one to be honest. Just know they are kid’s shit,” Billy said with a shrug.

She gasped dramatically, “Never seen any of them? Oh. Ohhh we are fixing that. This is happening. I’m not sure what kind of childhood you had but you were deprived.”

Billy didn’t say anything in response to that, just watched her run over to a shelf full of brightly colored DVDS cases.

“We shall start from the beginning. Snow White doesn’t tend to be my favorite, but she is the first Disney movie. Well. Correction, she is the first Disney Princess Movie, the first cartoon is Steamboat Willie, but I digress. I will catch you up on them all. You show me all of New York, I show you all of Disney movie franchise. These will be our goals for the next year,” She rambled slightly, as she tugged him over to her couch, after popping the DVD in the player.

Billy sat next to her, pulling his phone out of his pocket and setting it down on coffee table. He shook his head as she curled up next to him, leaning against his arm slightly. As the movie began, he moved his arm to wrap around her shoulders, pulling her in closer. He can see her smile as she scooted closer to him, head moving to lie against his shoulder.

He watched the movie with her with vague interest, not quite understanding the plot. The movie ended and he turned to her with questions getting ready to pour from his mouth.

“Listen. I know. They… they don’t get much better. But the music is good and they’re pretty to look at, so we forgive the terrible plots,” She explained to him with a laugh.

And so began their weekly tradition of watching a Disney movie (or two depending on the mood), as part of their date nights. About 2 months had passed and after a long day of training and meetings, he was ready to just collapse into his bed. When he got to his apartment, London was waiting for him, with a bag full of Chinese takeout and a case of beer.

“You’re beautiful and wonderful, have I told ya that?” He murmured to her, leaning down to kiss her, before unlocking his door.

“Long day babe?” She asked him, as she watched him leave a trail of clothes and items on his way to his bedroom.

She heard him answer somewhat muffled, as she unpacked the food and grabbed some plates and utensils. When he stepped back out he wore a simple pair of sweats and nothing else. She gazed at his torso looking at each scar she could see. She shook her head and snapped out of it before he caught her.

The two of them made their plates, and quietly ate at his table. She was about halfway through when her eyes stopped on the scar that was on his left shoulder. She tried to think back to when she felt pain from that area, thinking it was from his time in the marines.

Billy noticed her staring and said quietly, “It was from when I was a kid. You keep asking me questions about my childhood and I know you’ve noticed that I don’t ever answer them. I was abandoned as a baby, went through the foster system. I was uh… about 10… maybe 11 when it happened. When a grown man calls you pretty, you know nothing good is going to come from it. I was able to fight back but he was able to break my arm and ripped my rotator cuff in 3 places.”

She felt her heart breaking, “I remember that. I remember crying and freaking out. My parents had no clue what to do, especially when physically there was nothing wrong. I was hoping it was something like… you were being like any normal boy and like skateboarding and a trick went wrong or something. Please tell me that bastard was arrested?’

“Yeah. One of the other boys that he uhh… he attacked spoke up about it. It’s one of those things I don’t like talking about a lot, but I figured you should know since… yeah,” His sentence trailed off and he stared blankly ahead of him.

London quietly stood up, moving over to him; she tapped his arm, motioning for him to lean back. He does as she asks, looking up at her curiously. She straddled his hips, as she took a seat in his lap. She bends her head down slightly, pressing small kisses to the scar that was on his shoulder.

Billy tensed for a moment before relaxing as he realized what she was doing. He gently lifted her head back up, gazing into her eyes before capturing her lips in a soft kiss.

She gasped against his lips, before returning the kiss, and deepening it with a soft moan. The two of them had kissed before but this felt…different. Their other kisses had been short and sweet. This… this was passion and intensity.

When they pulled away, trying to catch their breathes, Billy whispered to her, “Hold onto me.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck, as his hands grasped her thighs lifting her as he stood up. He carried her over to his bed, laying her down as he crawled on top of her.

They kissed again, tugging each other’s clothes off haphazardly. He pulled back, his eyes looking to see if there was any hesitation, any doubt. Upon finding none he kissed her again, his hands exploring her body.

They spent that night learning about each other’s bodies, looking over scars, finding spots that drove each other crazy. It was in the late hours of the night when the two of them were finally spent, curling around each other as they fell into a comfortable sleep.

So comfortable in fact that Billy slept through his alarm and didn’t hear his phone going off. He did, however, hear Frank burst into his apartment shouting his name.

Billy jerked awake, reaching for his knife that he kept under his pillow, brandishing it protectively in front of him and London. She woke up to the shouts, grabbing the covers, as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

“Frank. I gave you that key for EMERGENCIES. Is this an emergency?” Billy asked, anger seeping into his voice as he realize it wasn’t an intruder but his best friend.

“You’re 2 hours late for work. Won’t answer your phone or texts. Forgive me for worrying that something was wrong, ye who is a stickler for being on time,” Frank explained glancing at the woman in Billy’s bed.

“Well, as you can see I’m alive. Now, can you please… go out to the living room so we can get dressed? Pretty sure my girl would feel a bit more comfortable with something other than my bedsheets covering her,” Billy prompted him with a pointed look.

Frank raised an eyebrow at that and stepped back into the living room.

Billy returned the knife to its original place, before looking over at his soulmate.

“Sorry about that, you okay?” His voice was soft and full of concern.

“Honestly, confused as hell. But yes, I’m okay. Do all of your friends do that? Or is it really that abnormal for you to sleep in?” She asked him still not fully awake.

“Not really one for sleeping in, even if I was with a girl. Apparently, you exhausted me last night,” Billy teased her with a smirk.

“Me? You were the one who was insatiable sir,” She teased back, kissing him.

“No idea what you are talking about,” He muttered against her lips, his smirk growing.

They kissed for a few minutes, before getting out of bed. She groaned softly as she stood, feeling a bit sore in between her legs.

She could practically hear his smugness as she told him to shut it.

They dressed and stepped out of the bedroom, seeing Frank leaning against the island in the kitchen.

Introductions were made, as this was the first time Frank ever officially met her. Frank left soon after, telling Billy to be there for the 2pm meeting.

Billy waves him off, and once Billy was ready for the day, he gave London a lift home before going to work.

After that night, their relationship became much more intimate. Billy did eventually introduce her to all of his friends, and she did the same. It felt strange to be in a relationship. A good kind of strange. Especially when she would still write little dumb jokes on her arms for him to see after a meeting.

Several months passed and before he knew it a year was coming up. However, he had no anxiety about it, since she had already informed him that she wasn’t leaving, not unless he came with. As the end of her lease came up, he asked her a semi-important question.

“Do you want to move in with me? We could… get a bigger place together. Maybe find a place where you can create your own darkroom instead of having to-” His sentence was cutoff by her suddenly kissing him.

When she pulled away he asked, “I take it that’s a yes?”

She nodded her head enthusiastically, kissing him again.

If someone told him a year ago that he would one day be moving into a townhouse with his soulmate, he would say they were crazy. Completely out of their minds.

Here he was though, moving into a 3-bedroom townhouse, with a beautiful woman who made him genuinely laugh and felt loved.

‘Well. That’s one tough question down. Here’s to hoping she’ll say yes to the next big question I ask her.’

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #bbficexchange2021

[flightlessangelwings]

Fireworks

Aerynwrites’ Dec Writing Challenge Day 30 - Fireworks || Loud booms, sparkling light, and a breathtaking kiss. Dialogue Prompts: “Wow…it’s so beautiful!”

Benjamin Greene x fem!reader

Word count: 2.6k

Warnings: smut (18+ ONLY!), unprotected sex, fluff, established relationship, New Years, no use of y/n

Notes: This is a gift fic for my bestie @the-purity-pen​ who I love sooooo much!! And Benjamin never gets enough love so I wanted to write him for her! Feel free to also follow my update blog and turn on post notifs to stay up to date on when I post @flightlessangelwings-updates​

~

“Are you sure about this, Benji?” you asked in a hushed tone as you let your boyfriend lead you up the staircase.

“Don’t worry,” he looked over his shoulder at you with a smile, “I got you,” Benjamin gave your hand a squeeze before he turned back around and the two of you reached the top of the staircase.

Benjamin had the most romantic New Year’s weekend planned, and every surprise took your breath away. He booked a classy hotel right in the middle of the city, and the room was absolutely stunning. The bed was so soft, you almost fell asleep the instant you flopped down, and the bathtub was bigger than your entire bathroom at home. And while the view from your room was great, Benjamin promised you a better view from the roof.

A cold breeze hit your face once he opened the door to the roof and you let out a gasp.

“Come here darling,” he whispered as he wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close, “I’m sorry, I know it’s cold, but I wanted you to see this.”

You were speechless as Benjamin led you towards the edge of the roof and the entire city glistened before you. Faintly, you heard the noise from the traffic below, but you were too high up to hear more than that. Your eyes went wide as you scanned the horizon.

“You like it?” Benjamin asked in your ear.

“Oh Benjamin,” you breathed as you turned to him and placed a soft kiss on his lips, “I love it,” you felt him smile against your skin as he deepened the kiss, “Let’s just not get caught up here. I don’t think guests are allowed.”

Benjamin let out a hearty laugh, “Don’t worry, we’ll be fine,” he cupped your chin and tiled your face to meet his gaze. The lights from the city reflected in his dark eyes and his smile lit up his face as he looked at you.

Just as you were about to say something, a loud boom made you jump into Benjamin’s arms and scream loudly. He immediately held you tight and close to his chest, but he also couldn’t help the laughter as the fireworks startled you.

“I lost track of time, sorry love,” he murmured against you, “The fireworks are the best, and this way we can avoid the crowds.”

Once you realized that it was just the fireworks that the city lit off just before midnight, you relaxed, but you stayed in Benjamin’s safe embrace. You turned your gaze to watch the show as you leaned against his shoulder, “Wow…it’s so beautiful!” you breathed.

“Yeah,” Benji echoed while his eyes never left yours. 

When you felt his gaze on you, you turned and faced him, “Did you really just use that cheesy line on me?” 

“Did it work?” Benjamin asked with a grin.

“Yes,” you whispered before you pulled him in for a kiss. 

As you parted your lips for him, an alarm went off from his watch. You moaned against his mouth before he pulled away just enough to whisper, “Happy New Year, baby.”

“Happy New Year, Benjamin,” you replied before you locked your lips with his once more. 

He grinned against your lips as he savored your taste, “How about we head back downstairs, love?”

“And make our own fireworks?” you replied with a smirk and a gleam in your eyes.

“Now who has the cheesy lines?” Benjamin quipped back with a laugh, which you joined in.

Giggles erupted between you like the fireworks that lit up the sky behind you, but neither of you bothered to pay attention to the light show anymore. What was in front of you was worth more of your attention than the lights in the sky. Benjamin kept his arms around you and pulled you as close as possible as he kissed you once more. His tongue immediately poked at your lips in a wordless ask for permission, which you granted right away. 

Your heart pounded in your chest as you felt his large hands roam all over your back while his tongue played with yours. Suddenly, the need for him was too great and you whispered, “Let’s get out of here.”

Benjamin’s face lit up with a smile once more as he slipped his hand into yours and let you lead the way back down to your room. The two of you made it back in what felt like an instant, especially after you took it slowly when you both made your way up the stairs. Once you reached your floor and pushed your way inside and into the warmth, you pulled Benjamin close again for another heated kiss.

A low rumble of laughter escaped his lips as you both fumbled clumsily down the hall and to your door. He kept an eye out for anything in your path while you stayed wrapped up in him and the moment you reached your door, Benjamin pinned you up against it. You let out a low moan in surprise, but Benjiman was right there to catch you before you even had the chance to fall. The two of you were a tangle of tongues and giggles as Benjamin pulled the keycard for the door out of his pocket and tried unsuccessfully to unlock the door.

In a fit of laughter, you broke away so he could concentrate for a moment, and he flashed you a soft look for a moment before he was finally able to get the card in the slot. The moment you heard the click, however, your lips were back on his and you kissed Benjamin deeply. He wrapped an arm around you as he pushed the door open with your body and spun you around once you both crossed the threshold.

You found yourself up against the door once more, only this time you were on the inside of the hotel room. Now that you two were truly alone, you tugged at Benjamin’s shirt, desperate to see and feel every inch of him. He smiled into the kiss as he allowed you to tug and pull at his shirt until he had to break away so you could remove it.

The fireworks continued outside, and the room was only lit up by a small lamp you had left on and the occasional flashes of light from the outside. Your breath hitched in your throat as you watched the lights dance against Benjamin’s skin, “You’re beautiful, Benji,” you murmured softly.

He looked at you with a fire in his eyes as he reached out and cupped your face, “Let me see you now, my darling,” Benjamin’s voice was low as he yanked at your shirt with a sudden rush of need.

A gasp escaped your throat as he lifted your shirt over your head in a flash and placed his hands on your waist. Your own hands landed on his chest and you gave his pecs a firm squeeze as you both closed the gap between your bodies once more. You swallowed the moan he let out as you brushed your thumbs across his nippes and you smirked in satisfaction against his lips. It was your own little secret that Benjamin’s nipples were very sensitive, and you loved to use it against him to get him riled up for you.

Benjamin let out a low growl into your mouth as he tugged you towards the bed in the center of the room. You followed willingly, and although it was cold outside, the room already felt warm from the heat that radiated between your bodies. As you both fumbled your way toward the bed, you each took the moment to yank your pants down and attempt to step out of them as gracefully as possible.

Except you were not graceful at all. You tripped over your own pant leg and in only your underwear, you fell forward onto the bed. But luckily, Benjamin was right next to you and immediately reached out for you. He wrapped his arms around you and held you close as you both crashed onto the large, plush bed.

“Are you alright?” he asked in a whisper as he pushed you onto your back and straddled your waist.

“Never better,” you replied with a smile, “Now fuck me.”

“With pleasure,” Benjamin quipped back before he captured your lips with his own.

You immediately parted your lips for him as you wrapped your arms and legs around his body. His warmth and weight on top of you was more than welcome, and you let out a moan when you felt his hard cock between your bodies. 

“Benji…”

“I know love,” his voice sounded strained as he kissed his way along your neck. Benjamin bit down on all the spots he knew drove you wild, and he bucked his hips against yours with every moan and cry you let out.

You tilted your head to allow Benjamin better access to you while you snaked one hand up his back. He groaned against your skin at the feeling of your fingers along his spine and he let out a loud moan of his own when you reached his hair and gave it a firm tug. It was another secret that only you knew about him: how much Benjamin loved when you tugged on his hair.

He whimpered your name as he broke away from your skin to look into your eyes for a moment. Time seemed to stand still while you gazed at each other, and the only sound in the room was your heavy breaths. But when another flash of light from the fireworks broke you both out of your thoughts, Benjamin shook his head and dipped down to kiss at your breasts.

A loud cry from you filled the room that echoed the fireworks in the background. You wrapped your legs firmly around Benji’s waist as his tongue swirled around your nipple and his large hand cupped your breasts. Spurred on by your moans, he rocked his hips against yours in a slow but steady rhythm, and even though underwear, he felt how wet you were. And he was sure you felt how hard he was.

Your hand that held his hair tightly trailed down Benjamin’s back as you reached for his underwear. With a silent request, you tugged at the waistband with a soft whine.

Benjamin broke away from your body again to meet your gaze once more, “I’ve got you,” he whispered with a gaze of pure adoration in his eyes as he lifted himself just enough to allow you to push the last piece of fabric off his body.

Another flash of light lit up the room as you also lifted your hips and slid off your own underwear while Benjamin pushed his own down to his ankles. Your mouth watered as you took in the sight of him nude as if it was the first time you saw it. 

“Fuck, Benji,” you breathed as you grabbed his arms and pulled him back down on top of you.

He laughed against your lips as he agnisted his hips and lined his cock up with your entrance. A gasp escaped your lips as you broke away when you felt the tip of his cock at your pussy. He moved slowly, like he always did at first, and he brushed the side of your face gently as he pushed himself into you. A gasp of his own echoed yours as he felt your warmth engulf him, and every time he made love to you, he was always just as amazed at how perfect you were for him.

Another flash of fireworks lit up the room as Benjamin filled you completely, and he took a moment and just stared at you in awe. He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss to your forehead while one of his hands slid into yours. Your breasts rose and fell with your heavy breaths and your mouth hung open as soft moans spilled from your lips. Your eyes stayed shut as you just savored the feeling of Benjamin inside you and on top of you.

“Move Benji,” you panted, “Please…”

“Anything you want, love,” he groaned as he rocked back and filled you completely again.

Your cries and moans encouraged Benjamin and with every thrust, he went a little harder. He knew you liked it when he let himself go, but he also would never forgive himself if he actually hurt you. But, the look of pure bliss on your face and the way your pussy clenched around him told Benji that you were more than enjoying this. 

“So beautiful,” he murmured against you as he squeezed your hand and sped up his thrusts, “So perfect for me, my love.”

“Benji…” you were so lost in your pleasure that you were barely able to even say his name, “Love… Fuck…”

Benjamin changed his angle slightly and held onto your hip with his free hand, and the scream that you let out told him that he hit the exact spot he aimed for. With a low growl, he thrust into you over and over again, determined to push you over the edge while the fireworks still went off behind you.

“Cum for me, darling,” he groaned as he felt his own climax quickly approach. You just felt too good for him to last much longer, “Show me how lovely you are when you cum for me.”

With another loud scream, your entire body trembled as you came hard on his cock. You held his hand tightly, but Benjamin didn’t mind. He kept up his pace as he watched your orgasm, and he found it even more beautiful than the fireworks that occasionally lit up your body.

That was when Benjamin lost all self control and he pounded into your with fervor. You looked and felt so good that he couldn’t hold himself back anymore and he rocked his hips against yours faster and faster until he felt his down climax take over. With a cry of your name, Benjamin slumped forward and completely covered your body with his own as he came deep inside you. 

You let out a deep sigh as you felt his warmth burst into you. You let go of his hand and wrapped your arms around Benjamin as you held him close. Several loud booms echoed from the outside, and vaguely you realized it was the finale of the fireworks show, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care about it at all. Not when Benjamin completely surrounded you inside and out like this, and with his heavy breaths right in your ear. 

“Wow,” you breathed as you ran your fingers through his hair. 

He let out a soft laugh before he pushed himself up just enough to look into your eyes, “Did I hurt you?” Benjamin asked as his mind caught up to him and he realized how hard he pounded into you.

You cupped his face and kissed him softly, “Not at all,” you replied with a smile, “It was the perfect bang to bring in the new year, Benji,” you added with a laugh.

Benjamin blushed as he dipped his head down but he couldn’t help but join your laughter, “It was,” he admitted sheepishly before he kissed you again. 

“I love you, Benjamin Greene,” you whispered against his lips.

“And I love you,” he said your full name with such softness and adoration that it made your heart skip a beat. 

#benjamin greene x reader #benjamin greene #benjamin greene x you #benjamin greene imagine #benjamin greene fic #benjamin greene fanfiction #golddigger bbc #benjamin greene fanfic #gold digger bbc #gold digger bbc fic #bbficexchange2021 #ben barnes #aerynwritesdc21

[artemiseamoon]

Who We Were

Billy Russo x f reader

A oneshot fic |  Enemies to lovers to enemies to ? AU

Words: 4,156

Warnings: angst, ex-lovers, a shitty break up, billy being billy , sexual undertones 

Part 2

GIF credit to creators 

My SECRET SANTA fic for @fieryhuntress​ | part of  @flightlessangelwings​ and @the-purity-pen​ Ben Barnes Fic exchange 

AN: I hope you’re happy with it!

This office bought back too many memories. Your mind floods with all the times you’ve been in here; the conversations, disagreements, even the sweeter moments come back.

You and Billy never had an easy go of things. You were partly convinced that in a past life, you and Billy were enemies or something. Despite the inability to get along, you remained drawn to each other like magnets. Even the fights were thrilling. There was always an erotic undertone under every clash.

Then one day it happened. He kissed you and from then on, the rules were out the window. To this day, your fiery trist with Billy Russo was hands down the most powerful and erotic affair you ever had in your life. As much as you hated to admit it, he made every lover who came after seem subpar.

But Billy's ego and emotional unavailability, among other things, made it difficult. When the end came it was dramatic, overwhelming, painful. So much so you left Anvil to work for another company. This act itself essentially made you dead to him. Billy didn’t talk to you again, nor you to him.

You spent a year and 5 months away from him. Away from this office, this building, his scent. And now, as Anvil devoured a third security company, you stood in his office.

Anvil acquired your previous employer. As soon as you got the news, a call from an unknown number appeared on your phone. Normally, you wouldn't pick up an unknown number but at that moment, you did.

It was him. Your ghost, Billy Russo. He was brief, saying only to meet him at his office that coming Monday. You had four days to sit on it, four days of confusion, mixed feelings, anger, and a sense of joy.

You despised him for taking the company and putting you out of work, but part of you also wondered if this was just revenge for leaving Anvil. Was this Billy’s messed-up way of trying to get you back?

Either way, you weren't making excuses for Billy or his behavior. You planned to rip him a new one once you saw him. So, you make a choice, you decide to go.

That leads to today, as you stand in his office and stare at his back. Billys has been gazing out the window for what feels like forever now, each passing second only causing the emotions inside of you to intensify.

Through the tall windows, you could see the fog accumulating outside. It was one of those dreary mornings with a rainstorm on the horizon. That unclear misty sky was a good metaphor for the energy in this room right now.

You massage the back of your neck with one hand, pondering if you should have come in the first place. You decide to break the silence and speak,

“Russo, did you call me here to stare at your back all day, or are you going to tell me why I’m here?”

You barely hear the low chuckle your response arouses in him, but you can see the way his shoulders move. With his hands still in his pockets, Billy turns his head to the right, glancing back at you.

“Your old position is open if you want it.” You detect a mix of amusement in his voice. Rolling your eyes to yourself, you walk further into the room and take a seat.

“That was fucked up you know, a lot of people worked there.” You say, keeping your eyes on him.

“I’m only concerned with one. Besides, everyone received severance, you twice as much. ” He comments, before fully turning to look at you.

When those dark deep eyes meet yours, it takes everything in you to fight that hypnotic effect. Sometimes all it took was looking into his eyes, and you were mush, putty, a goner.

Billy continues, “I have another position open, ever sweeter than you last. But it would require you to work with me, closely.”

His voice drops deeper and you curse him under your breath. It still escapes your logical mind how you could hate and desire one person so much. Managing to focus your thoughts again, you reply,

“What potion? I worked here for 3 years, this sounds like bullshit Billy.”

“A lot's changed since you left, “ he stops himself. After a pause, he speaks your name. You feel your strength wavering. The way it sounded on his lips was like magic, a spell, seduction.

Billy continues, “Despite our personal shit,” he motions with his finger between his body and yours, “you’re one of the best, tops. I trust you. Things are still changing. I need someone who is almost as good as me at my side.”

His emphasis on almost rubs you the wrong way. Without thinking about it, you reach over to the table and grab a pen, then toss it at him.

Billy catches it, a grin lingers on his lips. “Your aim has always been good. My catch is better.”

Billy walks over to the table and puts the pen back. He sits on the edge and crosses his arms before making eye contact again.

Sighing heavily, you cross your arms. “We don’t even get along. How would that work? And,” you raise your voice a little higher, “my question is not to say I’m interested. So you can stop smirking.”

“Am I smirking?” Billy leans forward teasingly.

Annoyance mixes with desire inside of you, like some sort of volatile cocktail. You conclude, being in a room with Billy was a bad idea. Even after a year and 5 months, you were clearly not over him.  

You stand with intent to leave, but Billy quickly reaches out and grabs your forearm. He doesn't even have to get up from the desk. You glance down at his hand firm around your arm, then at his eyes.

Billy tilts his head to the side, his eyes moving over your body. You watch with hitched breath as he greedily takes you in, down to your feet, and back up before making eye contact.

“Come work for me, you know I’ll take care of you.” Billy moistens his lips and keeps his eyes locked on yours.

Blowing out a breath, you break eye contact and look past him. A crackle of thunder fills the air, you flinch slightly, Billy stays still.

A moment passes like this, you don’t pull away or remove his hand. Billy loosens his grip and gently strokes your skin with his fingertips.

That buzzy warm feeling takes over every part of your body as your heart pounds faster. You didn’t even know what you wanted to do first, slap him in the face or climb on top of him.

When you gather the courage to make eye contact again, you instantly regret it. The fire blazing in Billy's eyes makes you breathless and you know you have to get out of this office before you sign over your soul to the devil, a second time.

Billy inches closer, moving into your space. His eyes linger on your lips a moment before rising upward again.

“I require the best, and you’re it.”

His words make your knees weak. Pulling on the last bit of strength you have, you jerk your arm away and slap him clear across the face before he knows what's happening. To be honest, you even surprise yourself.

But, you go with it, hiding your surprise, “that's for what you did and for being a dick!”

Billy touches his face, the brief sting of pain is quickly replaced by a smoldering lust-filled gaze. Billy stands up, slowly moving his hand from his face, “I like that.”

“I know you do,” you grab your bag and take a step back.

You know you should leave, you should leave right away but you can’t. The part of you choosing chaos was winning and every second that passed with Billy, you were ready to fuck up and pay the cost later.

Straightening out your posture, you speak up, “If, and this is a big if. If I come back I will have terms and I want every single one of them met. Every fucking one.” You point at him.

Billy bites his lower lip, “bossier than I remember. To be clear, that’s not a complaint.”

You feel a smile creeping on your lips but suppress it. Instead, you pull yourself toward the door. “I hate you, you know that right?”

Billy places his hand over his heart. “Without a doubt.”

“Good. I will call you with my answer when I’m ready.” You assert and grab the door handle.

Billy quickly scales the distance between you and stops right behind you, hovering at your back. He takes your hand and puts a manilla envelope inside of it, letting his fingers linger there before taking his hand away.

He smells good. Billy Russo always smelled good but right now he was intoxicating. You blink away the thought and take the packet, placing it under your arm.

As you turn the handle and open the door, Billy whispers into your ear, letting his lips brush your skin,

“As you wish.”

...

In many ways, you were a logical person, but all that went out the window with Billy. All it took was one shared glance, one smile, one gentle touch, and you were willing to ignore your brain and go with your heart.

This very fact influenced your final answer. You made Billy wait a week, enjoying every second you left him on edge. It was like foreplay between the both of you. Billy got what he wanted when he wanted it; making him sweat was perversely fulfilling.  

The meeting went as expected, carefully chosen words, heavy eye contact, the two of you moving around the room like chess pieces. To your surprise, Billy agreed to all your terms. Even signed the paperwork.

(Flashback to the meeting)

You could see it, that hint of a grin at the corners of his mouth. Your eyes landed on his hair, dark as ink and perfectly slicked back. The longer you looked, you could feel that sensation in your hands, what Billy’s silky strands felt like between your fingers.  

You stared so long, a memory replying in your mind, that when Billys raised his head, you didn't notice. You blinked and focused, returning to the present, his handsome face starting up at you.

“There are some questionable things in here.” He tapped the paper with the pen, not breaking eye contact. “But I’ll let you have them.”

“You let me have them or I walk.” You replied quickly. This caused Billy’s shadow to grin to morph into a full smile. It took all your will to remain calm under that gaze, that smile. But you do. “Sign it Russo, I have other things to do.”

Billy sat back in the chair while slowly spinning the pen in his fingers, “Are you this bossy in the bedroom too?”

Against all attempts not to, you laughed. Letting it out, you point to the contract, “ just sign it.”

Billy's eyes light up as he moves closer to the desk. His gaze lingers, studying you. You continued to stare down at him with an expectant look on your face. With a delighted look on his face, Billy signs. 

(flashback over)

You made a promise to yourself, this time around you'd be smarter and resist your urges. No sex, no making out, no lingering touches or hands on your hips. No matter how sinfully sexy Billy Russo was, or how weak his gaze made you feel, you’d keep it together.

On your first day, you even made a point to say that your relationship would be strictly business. Nothing else. In true Billy fashion, he responded as expected. It was like voicing aloud a truth you both knew was temporary. Even in the back of your mind, you could hear that voice whisper, for now, you mean.

Shoving your urges to the deepest depth of your core, you get on with the job. You do it, and you do it well. Often catching Billy’s very proud little nods and grins as you dominated the role the way he knew you would. The flirting never really goes away, much to both of your pleasures.

…

As two weeks turn into a month, you feel proud you’ve stuck to your word, no matter how damn hard it was. Though you’ve always had chemistry, this time around it felt even more intense. Like it was trying to suck the air out of both your lungs. It reminded you of that image on the Devil tarot card. Your chemistry, your past, your longing for each other kept you bound, in chains. In response, you carefully limit your time around Billy and promptly leave after work each time.

But the most surprising thing about all of this was how little you two fought. You and Billy used to fight like cats and dogs. Even when you were messing around. The bickering reduced significantly but didn't go away.

Now, you barely fought. It was slightly disturbing how smoothly you worked together, like a well-oiled machine. And without the clashing, you enjoyed Billy's company, even craved it. You couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he changed in the last year. Perhaps, with this version of Billy you could...

You push the thought out of your mind as soon as it appears. You were you, and Billy was still Billy. Thus, a healthy relationship was likely unrealistic. No matter how much you wished it could be so.

…

2 weeks later 

Your bones feel heavy, weighed down by tiredness. This most recent job was a big one. Some private concerts for big names with too much money. It required you and Billy to go upstate. You were thankful the weather cooperated for two full days, but now not so much.

You already sent the team home before the storm started, leaving only you and Billy behind to tie up loose ends. Once everything was set and done, you realize the few snowflakes hours earlier turned into a full storm.

You already checked out of your hotel rooms and planned to leave right after the meeting. Your client offered up one of their many cabins as gratitude. It was fully stocked, had gas and heat, and was close by. Driving back to the city was near impossible at this point, so you take the cabin.

On the drive up, neither you nor Billy make any conversation. It was a grueling few days and frankly, you were both exhausted. Aside from that, you did notice Billy was quieter than usual since yesterday. In your gut, it felt like he wanted to say something he wouldn’t allow himself to say. You were sure he noticed the ease between you this time around, maybe he was analyzing it too.

Billy at the wheel, he drives the car up a winding path. Snow-covered trees line the way as the headlights shine in the dark. You look forward to the cabin, the warmth. You briefly envision Billy next to you by the fire, cuddled close as he gently caresses your arm. You loved when he did that.

Your sexual connection was out of this world, but when you missed him, you often thought about the smaller things, like caresses, kisses on the side of your head, his fingers interlaced with yours.

When you arrive at the cabin, you both realize it’s more a house than a cabin. But the moment you step inside, you feel comfortable. It may have been the fanciest cabin you've ever seen in your life, but it was warm. Earth tones fill the place and a very impressive fireplace acts as the centerpiece of the living room.

You explore the place as Billy brings things in from the car. The fridge is stocked as promised, and so is the bar. In another reality, this could be a romantic getaway. But right now, as you and Billy existed in this weird untitled place, you couldn’t truly gauge the outcome of this.

The brief interlude of the storm ends as you glance out the window, you watch small flakes fall from the sky and quickly accumulate on the already snow-covered ground.

“It’s not letting up until tomorrow afternoon,” you hear Billy say from somewhere behind you. You turn around and find him in the doorway. “We might be stuck here until Wednesday.”

“Two days in the middle of the middle of the woods with Billy Russo, what a dream.” You grin.

“Smartass.” He smirks and turns, disappearing down the hall.

….

The place has three bedrooms, two and a half bathrooms, and plenty of space. It was too big really. But for a good two hours, you and Billy go your separate ways. Cleaning the day off with hot showers, getting settled in whatever bedroom you chose, exploring the place.

After a while, you return to the living room and wrap yourself in a blanket. You watch the news a little to learn about the storm and switch over to a movie. With the room nice and toasty, you had all you needed, minus a hot drink.

Almost as if on queue, Billy appears with two drinks in hand. He looks cute in his more relaxed clothes, you always loved how he looked both in and out of suits.

“Did you read my mind?”

Billy fully enters the room and places the mug on the side table next to you before sitting himself.

“You hate being cold, I remember.”

You want to kiss him. But you don’t. You wonder how often he thinks about things like this, what you like, what you don’t like. You wonder if your shared memories play in his mind like little films, as they do in yours. You thank him and take the mug into our hands. His obsidian eyes are burning into you, but you steady your own on the tv.

The truth sinks in the bottom of your stomach. You were afraid a second chance could work because you didn't want to get hurt by him again. You didn't. You could not take a second heartbreak and it was safer to hate him. But, with that hate gone, what were you supposed to do now? You no longer had the armor you needed.

Billy finally looks away and you let yourself relax a little more. Something about him was different now. He seemed more available, more open. But at the same time, not really.

You only get a few minutes into the film before Billy grabs the remote and turns it off. This catches you off guard, you turn to face him,

“Why’d you do that?” You ask.

Billys expression is serious but his eyes, his eyes are full of emotion.

“I know I hurt you when we were together. You never talk about it, you didn’t even bring it up. You just left.”

“I was fine.” You lie.

No one hurt you as bad as Billy did. Any other breakup paled in comparison. But you didn’t want to give him any more power over you than he already had, so you downplayed everything, reduced it. Even how you really felt about him.

“No, you weren’t y/n. That was my fault, my selfishness. I’ve owed you an apology for a long time now. I’m sorry.” He takes your hand from under the blanket and covers it with his own.

Emotion sweeps through your body and you stiffen up, but don’t look away.

“I take the blame, It was on me. I regret letting you leave, I regret not trying hard enough.”

Is this Billy? Or a body double? You don’t know and you can barely hold back the storm inside of you anymore. You blink quickly trying to hold the tears off a little longer.

“Are you talking or the bar?” You ask.

Billy moves closer, still holding your hand, “me. All me.”

You make an o sound and can hear the shakiness in your breath. Pulling your eyes away, you find something to look at, anything that's not Billy but you let him keep your hand.

Billy senses you pulling away and trying to suppress your emotions. Acting on instinct, he leans in and kisses you. The moment his lips meet yours your heart stops, your breath stills, you stare at him in shock.

Then the damn breaks, you exhale and kiss him back. Adrenaline rushes through your bodies as Billy pulls you closer to him, nearly in his lap, holding you as close as possible as the kiss builds.

It’s only when somehow, one of you knocks a mug over that you snap out of it. You push yourself back slightly and catch your breath.

Billy parts his lips to speak, struggling with what he’s about to say.

“ I love you, I always have.”

His confession knocks you out of the lust-filled haze of the kiss to the full reality of the moment. Billy liked you, and he got a bit obsessive about things, so you figured he might be obsessed with you. But love? Love never came up in the realm of possibilities.

Your expression must give away the chaos of your thoughts. Billy touches the side of your face, soothing your cheek with his thumb. You can see something you rarely see in his eyes, anxiety, nervousness, vulnerability.

The truth was you loved him too. You fell for him pretty damn fast but you would never tell him. You didn't want to be a statistic, one of the girls who told him and never heard it back. So it was your secret, your tightly bottled-up secret.

Feeling him watching you, you flash a quick smile that doesn't meet your eyes. Billy weaves his finger through yours. It feels good, sending a sweet warm sensation through your body.

“Um,” you start to speak, then stop. Your eyes don’t know where to settle. You pick your hands and study the way your palm fits into his. A mix of words bubble up but they don’t make sense. You don’t know where to start or how to respond.

In the tense silence, as you leave Billy handing, you notice something else mixes with the heaviness in your chest. It’s a heat, a tingling warmth that soon fills your heart and chest.  

You press your lips together, trying to hold back a smile when the words escape, “I love you too.”

Before you can look him in the eyes, Billys' lips claim yours again, his hands come up to cup your face. The union of your lips sends sparks through both your bodies. This felt right. Being in his arms felt right.

When the kiss breaks, Billy doesn't release his tight grip on you. You gaze deeply into the eyes of each other, feeling desire possess your bodies and fill the air around you.

You close your eyes to calm yourself and place your hands over his.

“Billy, “ you have his full attention. You know you have to be honest. You want this, you do. But you need to protect yourself too.

You continue, “I need a little time, to think about all this, process it,” you stroke the length of his neck, “I need that.”

Billy leans into your touch, and when you slide your fingers in his hair, he melts into you. A soft moan leaves his lips. He opens his eyes to look at you with a lowered gaze,

“I owe you at least that.” His tone is soft, comforting. Any tension left in your body leaves you feeling lighter, even a little giddy.

Billy calls your name, “Come here.” He whispers.

Billy draws you into a hug. Smiling, you rest against his chest and close your eyes, listening to his breathing.

What comes next for you and Billy, you didn’t know. But you weren’t enemies anymore, you were something else and even with all the unknowns, the possibility of a future together seemed brighter than ever.

Pt 2

tags ( adding more from the form soon, if there are any, but dinner first! )  if you missed it I have a new list, likely my last cause tags take a lot of work.

Self - add taglist

Billy: @mswarriorbabe80​  @rachlovesactors​ @readsalot73​  @po3ticb3auty​  @b-bae-27​

BILLY RUSSO

The Punisher general: @artsymaddie​ More Billy  

#billy russo #billy russo x f reader #billy russo angst #secret Santa fic #bbgiftexchange2021 #bbficexchange2021 #Ben Barnes #ben barnes character

[lady-morrigen]

Needles and Pins

PAIRING: Billy Russo x Reader (I think it’s pretty unintentionally GN, it just worked out that way, but I might be wrong??)

WORD COUNT: Just at 1.1K. I wanted to write more, but work and the holidays just made that impossible. So here’s a little snack that I def plan to expand on later!

RATING: Teen, I guess? There’s some language and a little bit of ~tension~ if you squint. 

WARNINGS: Not much, just mentions of fighting/sparring and a hint of knife play.

A/N: First off, I want to apologize to @my-day6​ for this being super late! I thought I was going to be able to craft you a masterpiece, but my life has been pretty upside down since my surgery in November and I just did not have the time. Now that the new year is here, maybe I’ll be able to write you an update that is up to my own standards! I hope you like it anyway and I hope your holidays were fantastic! 

Thanks to @the-purity-pen and @flightlessangelwings​ for hosting such a fun fic exchange! Y’all are amazing! <3

------------------------------

You lay there, sweaty and panting, as you tried to force the air back into your lungs. You stretched your hands above your head, wiping the sweat from your brow and flattening your legs to the mat beneath you. A mirthless chuckle came from somewhere to your right as the toe of a black boot tapped your ribs, eliciting a grunt.

“Get up, recruit. I’m not paying you to take a nap.”

“You’re not paying me yet, Russo,” you peeked at him, raising a brow. “I just need a moment to catch my breath.”

He crouched down to your level, careful not to make eye contact, and spoke low near your ear.

“I didn’t realize when I hired you that I’d have to hold your hand through the entire process. How about you let me know when you’re ready to continue working and maybe we’ll get you caught up to the rest of the team, yeah?”

He stood suddenly, without offering to help you up, and stalked off towards another struggling recruit. Your blood practically boiling in your veins, you couldn’t help but notice that he wasn’t as hard on any of the other team members. You dropped your head back to the mat with a huff, cursing yourself for taking this job before pushing yourself to your feet with a groan.

Billy kicked the team’s ass for the rest of the afternoon, continuing to keep an annoyingly close eye on you as you ran through different drills. After he’d pointed out what felt like your 10th mistake in 20 minutes, you’d had enough. You could feel the day’s anger quickly taking over your body as the team began to choose sparring partners. You stepped forward, muscling past a few of the recruits to get to the center, and Billy’s eyebrows shot up when he took in the look of determination on your face.

“I pick you, Russo.” Squaring your shoulders, you faced him directly with your hands on your hips and steel behind your eyes. He chuckled, exchanging a glance with one of his partners and returned your gaze, adding an element of something you could only describe as predatory. He considered you for a moment, mimicking your stance with his hands on his hips, before shrugging his shoulders in agreement.

“Alright, sweetheart… it’s your choice,” he raised his hands in mock surrender before pointing a long finger directly in your face. “But I’m not gonna take it easy on you.”

“I think I can handle it.”

“Great! Now everyone stop holding your dicks and get to work,” he said with a clap of his hands and addressing you with a jerk of his head. “Follow me.”

Confused, you walked with him to the rear of the warehouse. There were additional sparring mats set up in the corner and you realized quickly that he was trying to separate the two of you from the rest of the group, presumably to spare himself the embarrassment of getting his ass kicked. You began to roll your neck and shoulders out, releasing all of the nervous energy and preparing yourself to face him when you caught sight of his figure out of the corner of your eye.

He grabbed the hem of his sweatshirt and began to peel it off, not-so-quickly pulling down the thin t-shirt as it came with it. The brief flash of skin this awarded was enough to make your throat go dry and your breath to catch in your chest. A little too late, you realized that you were staring. He seemed to take notice and tossed you a cool smirk as he turned to face you, hands clasped in front of him as he waited, the familiar cheshire grin plastered on his face.

“We gonna fight it out or are you just gonna stand there objectifying me?”

“You wish, Russo,” you said with a shake of your head. “I was just thinking about how satisfying it’s gonna be to knock you down a peg.”

He stepped forward, crowding into your space and meeting your eyes with his. Something in the atmosphere switched and suddenly there was no playful smirk, no sneaky glint in his eye. You swallowed hard, a little unsure if this would end the way you wanted it to. Billy Russo was a dangerous man and you knew that. Maybe you’d been too quick to get on his bad side.

“If you don’t stop running your mouth and do the job I hired you for, you can pack your shit and get out. I don’t need to risk you putting the rest of the team in danger with your ego.”

You didn’t realize you’d shoved him until he stumbled backwards, taken aback by the breach of etiquette, but immediately squaring up to fight in earnest. Your next swing missed as he ducked out of the way, catching your arm and twisting it behind your back. His breath was hot on your neck when he whispered against the shell of your ear.

“You gotta work on not telegraphing your moves. Saw that swing coming from a mile away.” His knee found the back of yours and you dropped to the mat with a grunt. Rolling onto your back, you looked up at his looming form, hating the way he seemed to be enjoying tossing you around like nothing. The look on his face was one of pure entertainment and it made you see red.

In a flash, you had tangled your legs with his, twisting yourself as hard as you could muster and relishing in the sound of his crashing to the mat. Before he could react, you climbed on top of him and pinned his legs with your own. The knife flashed from the sheath at your waist to the skin of his neck in half a second and you grinned down at him, watching as his Adam’s Apple moved gingerly against the dull edge of the blade.

“Your first mistake was underestimating me, Sir,” you sneered, gently adding more pressure to the blade. “The second was wasting time gloating and leaving yourself vulnerable.”

“Well you see, sweetheart,” he was straining against the blade now, pressing his nose to yours and practically snarling. You became acutely aware of something hard pressed against your side and looked down to see his hand gripping the hilt of a large knife, the butt digging into your rib cage. “This was all part of my plan to finally get you on top of me.”

With a scoff, you rolled off of him, flattening your back on the mat and staring up at the ceiling in an attempt to slow down your racing heart. He stood, offering a hand to help you to your feet, pulling you into him at the top and holding you firmly in place. He spoke, low and deliberate, the sound reverberating through his broad chest against the skin of your cheek.

“I want you to hang back after I send everyone home. I think we have some things to work on, one-on-one.”

#bbficexchange2021 #ben barnes #billy russo #the punisher #punisher fic #ben barnes secret santa #bin bons #billy russo x reader #billy russo x you

[thatbritishactor]

Secret Santa Fic Exchange for @blanchedelioncourt

Take Me Apart (part 4)

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Summary: Your friends have been trying to set you up with Billy for a year now. Spending New Year’s Eve with him in a remote cabin might finally do the trick.

Type: Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Idiots to lovers, “There’s Only one bed”.

Words: 2,900

Part 1     Part 2    Part 3

Take me Apart playlist

My Masterlist

Once you’re ready, Frank, Karen, Billy, and you follow the trail behind the cabin. The plan is to spend the whole day outside and enjoy the landscapes while the sun is out. Everything is white: the long roads are paved with snow, the large trees seem frosted, and the ground is soft enough for your feet sink into it.

The air is crisp and dry, and you’re surrounded by nature and its impenetrable beauty. It almost feels like you’re in another world, far from the city and human civilization. Everywhere your eyes land, you discover another wonder. You walk up the trail that takes you into the mountains, and wander into the trees for hours. You’re surrounded by the noises from the woods: the birds excitedly chirping, the branches cracking under your steps, the cold wind that brushes through the large pine trees. The sun shines and makes the snow sparkle, as if the ground was glazed with thousands of diamonds. The four of you exchange stories and jokes while you hike, and you take a few breaks to drink and marvel at the scenery. Karen informs you that there is a good vantage point on the edge of the cliff, and that she intends to try out her new expensive camera, her Christmas gift from Frank.

You reach the vantage point, and it takes your breath away. From this height, you can see the whole valley: the turquoise lake, reflecting the blue sky and the immensity of the white mountains. You stare at the view, deeply moved, aware that such beauty is rare, and that you’re incredibly privileged to be witnessing nature this way: untainted, pure, vast.

Karen takes her camera from her bag, and she takes a few pictures before sighing and staring at the device, tapping the buttons, and trying it out.

“It doesn’t look the way I want it to” she sighs, and you approach her and look at the screen.

“Looks fine to me” you reply, perplexed.

“The colors are all wrong” she whines, and she opens another menu on the settings. You shrug and leave her side, going back to the edge of the cliff to stare at the view.

Frank approaches his girlfriend, and you hear them trying to understand how the camera works, smiling to yourself. They really are cute when they’re not trying to set you up with Billy. As if your thoughts had summoned him, he enters your visual field, and you glance at him. Billy’s wearing a black beanie and a winter coat, still managing to look effortlessly appealing. The white landscapes seem to heighten the darkness of his irises, and you spot a few lighter hairs in his beard. He smiles at you and your stomach clenches, a physical reaction you’ve gotten used to by now. You try and focus on your surroundings rather than him, attempting to ignore what happened earlier in the kitchen.

The sight of him both unnerves and appeases you, and you think that it’s strange how his presence has been oddly comforting to you these days. The awkwardness set aside, he’s a soothing presence for you. The two of you stand in silence for a while, when he slides his backpack off his shoulders, retrieves a gourd and hands it to you.

“You should drink” he advises, and you nod, smiling to him.

“Thank you.”

You take a few sips, assessing him while he’s not looking. He takes the compass and the map out of his bag, closely studying them. There’s something inherently attractive about a man who knows how to navigate in the wilderness, a skill you know he’s cultivated from his life back in the military.

You observe him, thinking to yourself that he looks good with a beanie, giving the illusion that he seems more approachable. His usually perfectly styled hair makes him look sophisticated and a bit intimidating; he looks more accessible this way, almost like a regular person. You observe his long fingers holding the map, your heartbeat accelerating, wondering what it’d feel like to have them on you. You felt his touch earlier today when he replaced a loose strand of hair behind your ear, feathery light, almost tender, and the memory stays vivid.

You think to yourself that he isn’t at all how you had imagined him. You’ve found out that he’s caring, attentive, and that there is a vulnerability to him that you can’t help but want to explore, drawing you in. You briefly wonder whether it could be a trap before recalling Karen’s words. He’s different when you’re around. Calmer, more authentic. You frown, wondering if it’s true, and why in the hell would you have this kind of effect on him.

You snap out of your reverie when he looks back to you, his dark eyes finding yours.

“I’m so sorry about the game yesterday” you blurt out, eager to control the conversation. You’re scared that he might bring up what he asked you earlier, and you’re not ready to answer his question yet. It’s easier to apologize for hurting his feelings last night, to keep the discussion friendly and away from perilous territories.

“What?” Billy asks, seeming lost.

“You know… the category. That was insensitive of me, I’m sorry” you say, looking at the ground. Billy seems completely abashed, and he blinks a few times, before he speaks again.

“It’s fine, it was just a game.” He tries to dismiss it, but you still feel guilty about the way you’ve made him uncomfortable.

“Besides, it was informative” he shrugs, and you frown, feeling like you’ve missed something.

“Informative?”

“Yeah, taught me that you paid attention to who I came home with” he teases with a bright smile. It’s the one you’ve seen last night when you were lying in bed with him: all teeth with the crunching nose and the wrinkles at the corner of his eyes. It takes your breath away for a second, because he looks so amazingly beautiful this way, your heart almost breaks in your chest.

“Right, Billy, because you’re all I can think about” the words escape your lips before you’re able to control them, and you close your eyes. You dumb bitch. What the hell is wrong with you? When you open them back, Billy chuckles, his eyes looking soft. You bite your lower lip, smiling nervously.

“Don’t worry” he says, putting the map and the compass in the backpack. “You’re all I can think about too.” He adds, and he winks at you.

You look away, your breath caught in your lungs, your stomach painfully clenching. This might be too much for you. You stare back at the view, briefly contemplating throwing yourself off the cliff. Is this real? Is this happening?

This isn’t right, you’re not supposed to fall for him. You’re not being yourself; he’s messing with your head. You breathe deeply, trying to gather your senses and assessing your state.

Did he mean what he said? No, don’t go there. Don’t you dare.

You shake your head. It doesn’t matter. Even if Billy likes you, it doesn’t matter. You can’t be with someone who can’t commit, not after last time. You try not to think about your ex. Frank and Karen approach you, and she hands you the camera. You try and look at the pictures she’s taken, but you’re unable to focus, you heart slamming against your ribs. You’re thankful for Frank and Karen, as they dissipated the tension that had settled between you and Billy.

After some light discussion about the stunning view, you resume on your hike. You’re careful not to stand too closely to Billy. Every time he looks at you, your blood rushes through your veins and your stomach flips. You focus on your steps, careful not to fall, and by the time the hike is done, the sun is setting behind the mountains, painting the sky in gorgeous shades of pink, orange and purple.

You make your way towards the cabin, and you’re positively freezing. Everyone plans to take a warm shower, spending the day outside in the cold did a number on your bodies.

You enter the house, and Frank and Karen head upstairs to shower, while you remove your coat.

“Tea?” Billy asks, stumbling in the kitchen.

“Thank you” you reply, sighing. You hug yourself, shivering, and sit at the kitchen table, watching Billy get busy pouring water into the kettle.

“You okay?” he asks, his dark eyes capturing you.

“I’m frozen to the bone” you sigh, repressing another shiver. Billy frowns, putting the kettle on, and he heads to the living room. He grabs a plaid from the couch and comes back to you, draping it over your shoulders.

“Here” he mutters, and he strokes your arms energetically. You let him, unable to resist his warmth, and he tucks the plaid tightly around your shoulders before deposing a light kiss on your forehead. You unconsciously moan at the intimate gesture, and he smirks before sliding on the other side of the kitchen. You watch him grab two mugs, putting the teabags in, before he pours the hot water. He hands you the mug then, and you grab it with both hands, thanking him.

“I’m gonna make a fire” he informs you, and you nod, looking back at him.

“Quite the woodsman, huh?” you tease him. “All you’re missing is the plaid shirt”.

“Why don’t you go and take a shower instead of making jokes?” he suggests, and you smile.

“Are you tryin’ to get rid of me?” you ask.

Billy ponders on your words, narrowing his eyes. “As much as I enjoy your company, you’re not of much use if you die from hypothermia.”

You chuckle. “Fine”, you sigh, removing the plaid from your shoulders and stretching. You arch your back, extend your arms, and you catch Billy’s eyes glancing briefly at your breasts. It’s your turn to smirk, satisfied to notice that he’s checking you out.

* * * * * * * * * *

Once everyone is freshly showered, you settle in the living room. There are leftovers pizzas in the oven, and you gather around the chimney to keep warm. Frank opened a bottle of wine, and you’re all chilling, recovering from the cold and the hike. You’re sitting next to Billy, still draped in the thick plaid he handed you before.

After the scalding shower you took, the only moment you had felt warmer tonight was when you had bumped into Billy in the bedroom, wearing nothing but a towel. He had turned his back on you immediately, profusely apologizing. You had fought the awkwardness, telling him that the bathroom was free, and he had rushed in, his face displaying shades of red you had never seen on him before.

You smile to yourself recalling the incident, oddly reassured by the fact that Billy had seemed as flustered as you in that moment.

Karen retrieves her camera and starts taking pictures, and you all pose for her, smiling. After you eat, you open another bottle of wine, and the alcohol settles in your system, giving you a renewed sense of self confidence.

Midnight approaches, and the music blasts inside the house. You put songs taking turns, and you’re busy making fun of Billy’s taste in music when Karen screeches.

“It’s almost midnight!” she exclaims, her cheeks red from the wine and the dancing.

Billy rushes to the kitchen excitedly, tearing a laugh from you.

“Alright, done with the pleasantries” he exclaims, grabbing the bottle of champagne from the fridge. You all cheer him, and you join him in the kitchen, grabbing four flutes.

“Thank you, dear assistant” he jokes, and you beam at him. Karen starts to count down the second til midnight, you and Billy of you make your way back into the living room.  When she approaches “five”, Billy opens the bottle. The cork flies across the room, and you hold the flutes for him. He fills them, and by the time she says “zero!” you all drink from your flutes. Karen and Frank kiss at midnight, and you turn to Billy, eyes wide.

Your mind had conveniently avoided thinking about the midnight new year’s kiss, and reality crashes into you. Billy stands in front of you, his dark eyes fixed on yours, and you feel like he’s waiting for you to decide. Your heart chooses for you, and you step closer to him, stand on your tip toes, throw your arms around his neck, and press your lips against his.

 .

 .

. .

Part 5

.

Taglist:

.@hagarsays

@ohsorandomlyme

@stuckysdaughter

@aunicornmademedoit

@bat-revival​

@mrs-brekker15​

@fuzzymoggle​

@sirius-is-hot​

@londoneyes-glasgowbones

@vissidarte213​

@daddy-firth

@aleksanderwh0r3

@nevertoofarfromivar

@marimorena06

@awesome-eccia

@fermencja

@kaybeeboop

@eginv-blog

@katedrexel

#ben barnes #billy russo #bbficexchange2021 #billy russo x reader #billy russo x you #billy russo fanfiction #the punisher #my fics #take me apart

[mikeisthricedeceased]

Yours or Mine?

Part 1 of 3

Logan Delos x fem!Reader

Series Warnings: Smut 18+, Dom!Logan, sub!Reader, enemies to lovers, praise kink, overstimulation, light choking, height difference, rough sex, sleepy sex, fluff, lots of snark, language

I got carried away with this so it’s longer than I planned. No smut in this part, but that’ll be coming soon 😏

Word Count: ~2.2k

A/N: This fic is a gift to @artemiseamoon for the Secret Santa Exchange! I don’t have much experience writing Dom dudes, but I hope you enjoy 🥰

Because this fic was created as a gift for a specific person, I tried to add a few little details to the reader character that made her a little closer to some of the recipient’s requests, so she is a plus-size woman of color and a bit on the shorter side.

Also want to say a special thank you to @the-purity-pen and @flightlessangelwings for arranging the whole exchange ❤️

Summary: You were invited to spend two weeks at a massive, luxury ski resort during the weeks leading up to Christmas; peak season for a place like that. You’re there to determine whether the company you represent, Walker & Pike, should invest in the resort and assist in its ongoing expansion. But you weren’t the only representative from an interested company that was invited; at least twenty rival corporations had sent their people. And unfortunately (or fortunately 😏) for you, that included Delos Destinations and the one man that you couldn’t stand to be around, Mr. Logan Delos.

There don’t seem to be enough layers in the world to keep the cold from sinking into your bones and making your teeth chatter. The air is sharp in the back of your throat from the moment the driver opens your door, unrelenting until you are well into the resort’s main lobby.

From the outside, it’s a grand building, styled to look like a rustic log cabin, but supersized to the point that you’re reminded of a Polly Pocket doll trying to vacation at Barbie’s dream house. There are at least two more, slightly smaller buildings of an identical style that are just visible off to the side of the main resort lodging. The invitation had mentioned some recent expansions, as well as plans for more. That’s the whole point of this…conference? Gathering?

Whatever term they might try to apply to it, you are here to decide whether the company you represent should invest in this place. Well, you and almost thirty other representatives from different vacation and resort financiers.

The inside is primarily made up of wood, polished to a luxurious shine, and is absolutely plastered with Christmas cheer. Garland is draped over the mantle of the lobby’s massive fireplace, as well as strung around every doorframe, all accented with glittering red bows. From where you’re standing, you count seven Christmas trees, including the massive one positioned next to the resort’s welcome sign, just begging to be the background of guests’ potential Instagram photos. And that’s not even mentioning the variety of elf, reindeer, snowman, penguin, and Santa Claus themed decorations on every wall.

They certainly embrace the holiday season.

You’re almost expecting the clerks behind the front desk to be wearing something festive, but they seem to have ordinary, crisp uniforms.

“Hi! Checking in?” asks one of the clerks as you approach, a welcoming smile spread across her face.

You nod, pulling your ID and invitation out of your bag, and setting them on the counter. “I’m representing Walker and Pike Inc.”

Her face brightens as she takes your things. “Of course!” She looks down at her computer, glancing to your ID as she enters your information. Then, she passes it back, along with the invitation, that big smile never leaving her face. “We’re so happy to have you. Your suite is ready and we’ll have someone bring your bags up. If you’d like, there are free drinks in the lounge for invite holders,” she gestures down one of the wide halls. “And a welcoming dinner tonight at 7:00. You’ll find a full itinerary in your suite, but feel free to call us here if you have any questions. Have a wonderful stay!”

“Thank you,” you say, smiling back. So, it’s one of those visits. With an itinerary built to show off all of their best events and services, instead of letting you wonder on your own. It makes sense in a practical way, but sometimes you wish you could opt out of certain activities in favor of sticking to ones you enjoy.

Just as you turn away from the desk, a uniformed attendant appears to take your bags and carry them away to your rooms. You make your way toward the lounge, scanning the various rooms and decorations on the way there.

Looks like it’ll be two full weeks of Christmas overload. It speaks to a little nostalgic part of you, but you also know that the resort is going out of its way to appeal to the holiday vacation market. It’s a solid strategy, but there aren’t many families with the means to stay in a place like this that don’t already have a yearly routine, and the kitschy-cute decoration wouldn’t do much for most single or coupled adults that might enjoy other aspects of a resort stay.

But, a little overenthusiastic decoration can be easily overlooked as long as the activities and amenities make a stay worth it. You’d read something about a spa and you’re looking forward to a little pampering in the coming days.

You order a drink once you reach the lounge and wait at the bar. It’s set in front of a massive windowed wall that gives a spectacular view of the surrounding mountains. The skiing is supposed to be good here, so it’s safe to assume there will be a chunk of the itinerary dedicated to it.

“I was starting to wonder if Walker and Pike got an invite.” Tension grips your spine and you bite the inside of your cheek at the sound of his voice, nodding a quick ‘thank you’ as the bartender sets your drink down in front of you. “Wasn’t sure if you guys even qualified for something like this. Got any notes yet, sweetheart?”

“Yeah, I do,” you begin, turning to face Logan Delos where he stands, a glass of bourbon in his hand. “I’m really impressed with the space in this lounge, but it still seems like there isn’t quite enough room for your ego. Did you have to smuggle it in your carry-on, or was it express shipped on its own plane?”

He shakes his head and sips his bourbon with a smile. “I checked it, the same way you did with that holier-than-thou attitude.”

You laugh just to keep from scowling. “God, you really are a charmer, Delos. It’s a wonder you can’t keep someone on your arm for longer than a night.”

He gives a mock pout “Aww, cheer up. I’m sure you’ll find someone that won’t string you along until they get bored. You’ve got two whole weeks to mingle with a group of eligible folks that might actually stay awake during a conversation with you.”

“Rot in hell,” you hiss through a bright smile.

He winks, subtly raising his glass to you. “Ladies first.”

You watch him saunter off toward the seating areas while you slump back against the edge of the bar, taking a long swallow of your drink.

It’s gonna be a long two weeks.

~*~*~*~

The dinner is mostly uneventful. You make polite conversation with the other company reps at your table, sipping at your water between each course and idly tracing your necklace with the tips of your fingers as the night wears on.

The music is alright, just something softly playing in the background to leave room for conversation. The food is good, though the menu seems a little limited. You wonder if there’s more variety for normal events, or if they offer these same dishes for everything.

When the dessert cart comes around, it does make up for it a little bit. They seem to have endless options on that front.

Throughout the dinner, you can feel eyes on you. You glance around at the other tables every few minutes, trying to figure out why that feeling never seems to fade, but you can never catch anyone looking at you.

Maybe it’s just that you’re in an unfamiliar place and that sort of thing plays tricks on the mind sometimes.

Once you make it back up to your suite, you immediately slip out of your formalwear and into something more comfortable. Spending almost three hours making shallow small talk with rival representatives has left you drained and nothing sounds better than getting cozy in your lush, king-sized bed and falling asleep.

You almost want to skip your nightly routine, but you know you’ll regret it in the morning if you don’t wash up or leave your hair free to snag on the pillowcase. So, with drooping eyelids, you shuffle into the en suite to get ready for bed.

Right as you’re finishing up, and in the middle of brushing your teeth, there’s a distinct knock knock at the door.

You rush to get done and hurry out to check the door, looking through the peephole.

It’s a significant effort to avoid groaning and banging your forehead against the door at the sight that greets you. “What do you want, Delos?” you call out instead.

There’s a faint sound from the other side, like he mutters something, before he answers. “Sorry, sweetheart. I’m looking for the rep from Lincoln Co., Andrew. He wanted to meet up and I didn’t write down the room number. I thought this was it.”

“Well, it’s not.”

“Clearly,” he scoffs.

You roll your eyes. “Now, go away, please.”

“Wait, wait.”

“What?” You don’t try to hide the annoyance in your tone.

There’s a slight pause, and then he says, voice lowered, “Any idea which room he’s actually in?”

Rubbing your temple, you let out a sigh. “I don’t know. Probably 516 or something since you showed up here at 506.”

He taps a knuckle on the door. “Thanks, sweetheart. Have fun being antisocial.”

You don’t bother gracing him with a reply. He’s probably already on his way further down the hall and you aren’t looking to get a noise complaint by shouting through the door at him.

Groaning, you shuffle back to the bed and flop down onto your back.

~*~*~*~

The next morning, you’re expected to spend some time on the slopes.

You layer up, hoping you brought enough to protect you from the biting, frosty air. If it comes down to it, you can find some more in the souvenir and ski shop on the first floor. You’ll already have to pick up some gloves to replace yours, which you’d been digging through your luggage to find all morning, only to finally accept that they’d been forgotten at home.

Before that, though, you head down to the lobby to meet up with your guides for the day.

You find the group of other reps easily enough. It seems like you have all been divided into smaller groups, each about to be whisked away to do different activities, with plans to swap around after a few hours. Of course, skiing was your group’s first activity. And, of course, the one person you’d love to ignore for the entirety of the stay was in your group.

It’s just for today, you reassure yourself. And there are eight other people in the group. It’s fine.

So, you resolve to just ignore him whenever direct acknowledgement isn’t necessary. That plan works great while your group heads to the shop, and while you’re buying new gloves. Renting skis doesn’t pose any issue, nor does getting out to the bottom of the slope and onto the chairlift.

Experienced skiers are allowed to go right up, which includes Mr. Trust Fund himself, while the rest of you get a quick little run through of the basics first.

Skiing isn’t difficult when you really get down to it, but you’re a little distracted because you already feel on the verge of shivering. You don’t seem underdressed compared to everyone else. If anything, you may have on more layers than some of the members of your group. But still, with the frosty metal of the lift and the sharp, icy wind, you are starting to freeze before you even go down your first hill.

And then your plan completely falls apart as you’re exiting the chairlift. Eyes watering against the cold, you shuffle slowly out onto the snow, toes beginning to numb, and just as you start to angle down the slope, one of your skis clashes against someone gliding along next to you from a higher slope.

Heart leaping into your throat, you clack your skis together and jerk away, promptly losing balance and falling onto the hard packed snow. There’s the dull jab of the impact and the harsh bite of the cold seeping into your clothes.

The person you collided with manages to stay upright and comes to a practiced stop a few feet away. You push yourself up, fingertips painfully chilled despite your new gloves, and try to get back up but your skis just slide out from under you again as Logan approaches because why would there be mercy in this life?

“Y’know, Bunny slope’s that way,” he barks, jerking a thumb.

You huff, glaring up at him through teary eyes, face burning with embarrassment. “Gee. Thanks.”

“You’re gonna hurt yourself up here, sweetheart. Remember, pizza to stop, French fry to go,” he says, tone condescending as he mimes the actions. “And try not to ski out in front of people, yeah?”

“I know what to do, I’m just cold,” you snap, unsure if you were trembling with said cold, or just your barely restrained anger. “You’re the one that ran into me, asshole.”

He shakes his head as you once again try and fail to get on your feet. “Just go to one of the smaller slopes if you’re gonna be in the way. And if you want to quit falling on your ass, take your skis off, then stand up.”

You flip him off as well as you’re able to with numb fingers and clunky gloves, and he growls out a “you’re fucking welcome,” before taking off down the slope.

There is nothing you hate more than Logan Delos.

#bbficexchange2021 #logan delos #logan delos x reader #Logan Delos x fem!reader

[shannynouhoh]

Something to Someone (Secret Santa Fic Exchange)

Pairing: Logan Delos x Reader

Words: 6,744

A/N: This is a little enemies to lovers for the lovely @aleksandersshadow​ (Merry Christmas to you and yours! I hope you enjoy reading this <3 ) and part of @flightlessangelwings​ and @the-purity-pen​ Secret Santa Fic Exchange. It is also the first time (!!!) I’m publishing my writing on tumblr and I might create a separate account soon.

Warnings: Mentions of drugs and overdosing 

(GIF credits to owner)

The sterile walls of the hospital room immediately wraps you in a cold shiver and quiet understanding settles in - understanding why people take flowers to hospitals for every visit. There is something in human nature that just requires natural beauty to endow the healing process. People aren’t robots, and the man lifeless in the hospital bed isn’t just here for some repair work or a quick oil change, it will take mountains more than that. And this place does not lift or even inspire a spirit or a spark of hope.

This is not the first time she finds herself in a clinic, staring at the unconscious body of the man she seems unable to put a title to - a friend, perhaps. Although he likely would not agree. It’s the same monotone sound of machines beeping that bore into her ears, the same aggressive ceiling lights. It all seems so frighteningly familiar, yet everything is so different. Here he is a bed number, a unit in a medical institution, a problem to be fixed on the planet’s slowest moving assembly line. This time saline solution in the IV is replaced with Naloxone, a bittersweet reminder of the severity of the situation. And instead of standing in front of the bed, this time she is sitting next to him gently squeezing his hand.

- 

They met a good year ago. She was performing at a, to her unknown, company’s annual charity event. Her name unheard of, this gig simply an opportunity to shine given to her by a dear friend who, conveniently, owned the venue that hosted the celebration. Just a simple bar, but every attendee attempted to appear proper in their high end suits and attire. She wished for nothing more than her music being heard. Instead this place was a hundred conversations told in loud voices, all of them competing with the soft jazz sounds of her piano that were soothing through the atmosphere. A tall man in a black suit suddenly passed her Monington And Weston winding his way through the bodies to order a drink. And before the drink was even poured his dark eyes found hers across the room. She noticed, her own eyes promptly on the ebony and ivory, the crowd, her feet, her hands, everywhere but on him. Then he moved closer with those ardent eyes that looked so deeply into her own, “Hi, I’m Logan.”

A gorgeous smile, a sweet compliment, two martinis and bold charm is all it took for her to accept the late night invitation to his place. She came for a coffee and she stayed for a night of fervent, tipsy sex. They passed out from intoxication and exhaustion shortly after but before he woke, she was out of the door and out of his life. She had performances to prepare, pieces to rehearse and quite frankly no desire to endure the walk of shame when most of Los Angeles started to rise and shine. A one-night-stand with a handsome stranger, who she didn’t know more about than his first name. 

A couple of weeks later she was in the middle of a swanky piano arrangement of Dancing In The Moonlight at a private event in an exclusive rooftop bar when she suddenly heard a low whistle, “Well, well, well… who do we have here? Do you take requests?”. She didn’t have to turn around to see the wide grin, nor who it belonged to. Instead of glancing over her shoulder, she finished playing elegantly before turning around, “I don’t take requests.”, she nods. “Hi Logan.”. His grin turned into a smirk, “Hi sweetheart. Fancy seeing you again.” He let her finish her set but kept an eye on her the entire evening. Going through life for her means constructing scenarios of meetings ahead so extensively that sometimes she is surprised she hasn’t made it further than company galas and private events yet. There is only so much conversation you are able to plan in advance when meeting a producer, yet she was unable to pinpoint what they were looking for and who they saw when they listened to her compositions. She wasn’t sure if constructing scenarios has ever brought her any advantage during actual meetings, but she wasn’t going to change her method now. 

Despite the late hour quite a handful of people were still mingling around, the kind of people who stayed to be seen rather than to engage. But she wasn’t there to sit at the bar and stay until the early morning hours. He sat on a bar stool nursing on his whiskey neat all alone. He waited for her and every scenario she had constructed on her way from the stage to the bar just fizzled away until she was only able to think of several different ways to say ‘hello’. Head held up and adrenaline kicking in she whispered, “I hope you didn’t wait for me.”. “What if I did?”, he raised his chin to challenge her. That was as good an invitation for her to join him as any. An awkward silence settled upon them after she ordered a soda. “So, will I bump into you at every high society event from now on, sweet-?”, “- Y/N.”, she interrupted his attempt at a conversation. “Y/N.”, he repeated firmly and realisation daunted that she hadn’t shared her name with him before. With a shake of her head she countered, “This is all there is so far. I’m a musician. And I want to compose.”, whirling her pointy finger around she continued, “This is temporary. Many important people attend these events. If just one of them listens, who has an influence, then it’s worth it.”. A shrug and a sip later, “And how has that worked out so far? I assume you need to play more than covers of old pop songs.” Logan retorted. “That’s what they asked for, Logan. I play what they ask me to play. Last time, though? That was my own music.”, she snapped defensively. He put his hand up in surrender and awkward silence crept back in. “Money is the manifestation of power and power is the manifestation of fear- I want to live without fear. I want to make music. I don’t care about these events and I don’t care about the people, but I want to be heard. What are you doing at all these events?” she blurted out a little too boldly for her likes. Logan drained the rest of his drink before he replied dryly, “I am the events. I am these people. Last event? Was my company’s, sweetheart.”

In spite of the night of passion the two have shared, they observed each other with the gazes of a stranger, aloof judgement with absolutely no strings. Sweaty bodies all tangled up weeks ago could not have foreshadowed the opinions they have made of each other from afar after a few minutes of conversing. That’s not a scenario she constructed before approaching the bar. Friend or foe? While first impressions kept our ancestors alive, they seem to be social poison for humanity nowadays. Without a second thought Logan made the same offer as last time - coffee at his place. Escape and never looking back were thoughts dominating the logical side of her brain and, yet, once again she downed her drink, took his hand and followed him home.

It had become an arrangement that worked out for both of them. She found herself playing grand pianos at high-brow functionings every once in a while, opportunities impossible without the power of one Logan Delos. In return she was on his arm smiling at relatives, business men and excessively enthusiastic female attendees whenever he required, not at public events, however, - a rule she made the top priority. Ally is a term too cold for the relationship they had established, friend a term too warm. She would consider ‘paper friend’ the lukewarm term of their relationship status. Two sexually compatible blank pages, that is up to them to choose how to fill every time they encounter each other. 

Arrogance was Logan’s worst vice. And the one thing that kept many people coming back to him. Like Y/N likes to say, power is the manifestation of fear, and people would rather be the fearful than the frightened. In this big, wide world of uncertainty and confusion men like Logan are the North Star for the chancers and the talentless, a man who knew where he was heading. Was he, though? Behind the arrogance she could often spot traces of inhibition. One evening at another Delos Inc. event at the family mansion those traces turned into full blown cracks in his carefully timbered facade. She noticed the absence of love within those mansion walls before, a warmth that had long evaporated through the ceiling-high glass doors, if it even ever existed at all. Unintelligible declarations were thrown around in fits of anger next door, audible to every attendee. The voices belonged to Logan and his father, James Delos, a man she had only acquainted once from a distance. The heavy wooden door unlatched and a furious Logan stormed out, downed two glasses of bourbon and jerked his head towards the stairs. She followed him up instantly to his childhood bedroom. “My father wants me out of his face. Says my behavior and actions are intolerable. He just called me a disgrace because I made the news once again.” Logan huffed out a laugh. The media coverage of Logan Delos was not news for her. While the venues and events he frequented were literal cesspools of gossip, pictures never lied, neither did DNA. Drug and sex scandals were only a casual Wednesday afternoon for Logan Delos. 

Verbal confrontations with his father had become a routine decades ago, yet he had never been threatened with disinheritance and repudiation. “People think my life is a constant party, free booze and free meals. There are days when my brain becomes a cold fire and I struggle to breathe. There is no one to call or to go to. Even when I was a child everything felt cold and empty. He never liked me. And I just stood in the rain hoping I would melt away. For years.” he uttered aimlessly. Suddenly he recomposed, “You find things that help you cope, Y/N. And the good news, after many unpleasant hours, you are okay.”, then he pulled out some pills and disappeared. Loneliness was a feeling that crept up to him at home. It followed him everywhere now, an ever present reminder that he was a failure on every front. 

They weren’t friends. They never shared anything but meaningless verbal exchanges and a bed for several hours. Y/N was in a state of surprise and shock at his revelations, a brief feeling of compassion that vanished the second he popped open this bottle of pills. There he was, again. The Logan Delos the world despised but celebrated for the clicks and stories. Y/N is a person of firm belief that loneliness is fixable - liquor runs out, pills do, too. Many unpleasant hours are easier to bear, but Logan didn’t seem ready for a fight. Y/N’s stance is that many unpleasant days will allow one’s journey to change. You find joy and sometimes joy finds you, but you mustn’t wait for it. One fights. Her eyes roam over the furniture in his childhood room. Empty and cold. Nothing that revealed who he really was. And with a shake of her head she left the room, there are some things people must learn the hard way.

The following days she did not hear from him. A single text message sat in her inbox. ‘I’m busy’. Gen Z might refer to this as ghosting. But Y/N did not need Logan Delos to blow wind through her sails. Her email inbox looked promising - apart from statement requests by news  outlets regarding her possible relationship with Logan Delos, it appeared that a fair few of those piano gigs had not been for nothing. Offers that could possibly open doors to the music industry. Hope settled in, like a starlight that whispers of the sun, overshadowing a prevailing feeling of uneasiness at this minimal amount of media attention due to her connection to Logan. 

‘I’m busy’ translated into Logan Delos’s jargon meant ‘attempting to save what’s left to save by taking the future brother-in-law to a theme park that he had every intention of investing in’. With William backing him up, Logan anticipated new-found respect from his father. What he could not have anticipated was the outcome of this trip - the train to Westworld was the ocean drawing back that formed a gigantic wall of water during the trip and crushed down on him with no mercy. Tsunamis left flattened homes, tossed vehicles and broken families. The aftermath of William’s tsunami unknown.

Logan’s fame was a one way street, what’s done couldn’t be undone. It can be a huge privilege, for one can be heard, be seen, matter and have one’s opinion count. Yet the world assumes there is no right to privacy, one can’t buy themself out of it - and they get their pound of flesh. There was no part of Logan’s past untouched in the media. A tweet for every sighting, an article for every scandal, paparazzi snaps that chronicle a life between insufferable prominence, court and rehab. A status constantly yanking down the family name. Logan Delos did not sell beauty or wisdom. Logan Delos sold his soul. Not even hours after his rescue from the theme park he intended to invest in, his face was plastered all over the news. ‘Another dark day for James Delos as son causes havoc for investment’. No further details or information, just a public service announcement that Logan Delos still holds the title family failure. 

Y/N would rather have the fame of old philosophers than the glitz-glam hyper version of fame in modern media. Standing tall in your lifetime and having earned her way there by fighting the good fight, inspiring and creating. Not a paid clown. Being associated with Logan Delos, however, bursts the bubble of dreams like that. It was late afternoon when Y/N left a recording studio that day. Her emails filled to the brim with statement requests, twitter mentions suffocated her with links to cheap gossip and news articles, reporters kept ringing her private phone. The parking lot was packed with paparazzi as she tried to find a path to her car. In the safety of her apartment she dared reading the articles, uninformed ‘journalists’ making assumptions on her relationship, health and intentions. A portrait of an aspiring artist desperate for attention, money and narcotics? No one associates with Logan Delos unless there is a catch. 

This is how she found herself in a hospital room with him for the first time. The building screamed ‘private healthcare’. Entering Logan Delos’s room felt like walking into an expensive New York City coffee shop. Soft music was playing, exorbitant paintings hung upon the walls and swanky leather chairs were facing his Bariatric hospital bed. Not planning to stay longer than necessary, she didn’t even pay attention to the chairs. Logan was admitted with severe burns from over-exposure to the sun and cold, extreme dehydration and delusions. A serious case, but not life-threatening, the nurses informed her.

He stirred and slowly woke up to the sound of people engaging in quiet conversation. His eyes first examined his surroundings before they settled on her. A soft  “... Y/N” escaped his chapped lips. There was something in his eyes she had never seen before - vulnerability, relief and a touch of something she was unable to place; affection? After checking his vitals, the nurse left to give the pair some privacy. Y/N recomposed and took a step away from his bed, “Logan, how are you?”. Her cold tone perplexed him, so Logan did what he always did, “Perfect. I’m doing amazing, sweetheart.”, he retorted. “Logan, listen, I am not staying long. I’m glad that you are ok. But I am here to say that our whatever it was ends here. All these tabloids are dragging me through the mud, spreading lies and painting the ugliest pictures. I am in every headline, Logan. There are reporters waiting for me outside studios and venues. Every second I fear they will find out my home address. This is not me! I lost so much of myself since I met you and I didn’t even realise.”, Y/N pronounced. Logan’s face was unreadable, so she continued, “I am not desperate or an addict and I am not a gold digger. My career won’t end before it has even begun. This is your lifestyle, not mine. I just want to be me. And make music. Compose … I-”. Logan huffed out a breath interrupting the rest of her speech. Then he let out a passive-aggressive laugh, “You are just like everybody else. I ruin your life, yeah?”. She didn’t get to respond and with a shake of his head he continued, “You don’t want to be associated with me, huh? Well, you don’t have to. There’s the door, Y/N. Get out!”. Y/N was stunned, a trace of guilt visible in her eyes, but she didn’t move. “GET THE FUCK OUT!”, he screamed, the only thing that held him back was the still evident exhaustion from days in the desert.

Without another word Y/N grabbed her belongings and left, not looking back.

-

The weeks following their final encounter passed with little inconveniences and devastation as the importance of her persona quietly fizzled away in the media. Pertaining to the ‘Fall of the Delos Heir’ there was no interest in anyone not seen on Delos grounds. Y/N had heard from Logan once since their ways parted; a drunk voice message he left when she left all his calls unanswered. “You have always been embarrassed of me. Didn’t even want us to be seen in public. Didn’t help you much, did it? Shoulda known your pussy wasn’t worth it. Here’s news for ya, Y/N: you won’t make it further than my parties, my events. People don’t care about what you do. I hope you fail, just so you know how it feels. Maybe one day you’ll clean my mansion.”, hate uttered in every syllable. Being drunk is a fool’s anaesthetic. It puts the primitive self in command when it is the worst captain of all. One thing was apparent, alcohol or not: Logan Delos despised her, he detested every fibre of her being.

Hatred is nothing but a transformation of shame and insecurities. It is easier to hate than to face what is truly lost. His words did not break her down, on the contrary, it served as a boost of motivation to pursue the life she had been dreaming of. Three months after she deleted his voice message and blocked his number she received an offer to compose music for a small independent film. Y/N felt the shifting of gears within the cosmos, and with that little film project the universe had begun to change course. A moderate success that had to be acknowledged and opened a new door. The next project she got to work on was a bigger budget bestseller adaptation that established her as a promising newcomer composer. A success that did not connote red carpets and spotlights, but opportunity and creative freedom. She kept her soul in a bottle, so no matter how many thousands or millions of people looked right into it, it was still hers. Seasons fade in and out like soft gentle tunes, transitions slow but never faltering. Like the planet itself, seasons only turn in one direction, always onward, never back. And just like the seasons, Y/N moved onward. One step at a time. And the only reminder of Logan Delos’s existence were the scandalous front pages of magazines, headlines she never spared a second glance.

-

Now, there she sits, watching the everyday heroes tend to needs with kindness and ready smiles for all. From the moment she arrived they assured her he would be ok. The nurses created a place that drained away anxiety, as if they had all learned how to pull the plug on fear and fill it up with confidence. The private clinic could never compete with them - it isn’t the building or the machines, it’s people helping people. 

A doctor explained to her that Logan was found in his pool house, non-responsive, he wasn’t even responding to pain. A full emergency ampule of Narcan in his thigh didn’t even show a hint of success. No coughing, no spluttering. For first responders it had become a routine, treating Logan Delos’s drug overdoses; usually they were met with slight aggression when he started coming round - it’s confusion that can make people agitated and angry - this time, however, their patient wasn’t responding and they silently prayed for some aggression. Logan Delos refused to step back into the light, CPR an act of squander. 

She had heard it in the news. Media wasn’t journalism anymore, it was a puppet show. Every outlet gobbled up the worst of the worst, anything for the ratings. How far did the almost-deadly heroin overdose of high society’s most condemned Ex-COO fall? Very far. Logan’s face was plastered across every local news channel, accompanied by madcap headlines reporting on his health. It’s ‘Ex-COO’ that caught Y/N’s attention and a cold shiver ran down her spine. Immediately she pulled up an article that briefly mentioned Logan Delos’s involuntary departure from his father’s company after an incident that had occured in Westworld over a year ago. James Delos’s son-in-law stepped up and took over Logan’s company reins. 

Other people have emotional scars, not Logan Delos, he was bleeding. And he told her. There was something in his rambling that night, admittance of pain. His sneers were nothing but a shield for the pain, like a cornered soldier desperately throwing out grenades, scared for his life. But what if nothing blew up? She didn’t react, and so his shield couldn’t clatter to the ground and let the pain tumble out. “I see you now, Logan Delos.”, she whispers into the empty room, day two by his side.

-

As the days went by, each possible moment marked by gentle hands, beeping machines and updates on the weather, celebrity baby names and hospital food, Logan’s condition improved. Seven days of unconsciousness and he stirs, his loose hand suddenly grasping hers tightly as he opens his eyes. She prayed his coma is short, that it is but a tender sleep that enables him to recover, for his body, his brain and his splintered soul to rest and heal. His confusion transforms into panic and Logan starts screaming and squirming around. A nurse runs in requesting her to leave immediately and visiting again tomorrow, so she does, but not before turning to see the look of disappointment in his eyes.

The anxiety sits below her confident walk and the kind smiles at the nurses on his ward. A sleepless night of constructing scenarios and worry is left behind and she approaches the door to Logan’s hospital bed. Two soft knocks later she enters his room, the man not wasting a breath to acknowledge her presence. “Logan, how are you?”. Silence. “You scared m-”. Without looking at her he snaps, “Go. Leave. I don’t want you here. I don’t even want to be here.” It’s predictable anger and fear. There is a feeling in her gut that says ‘leave’ but another in her heart that says ‘stay’. And what are we if we don’t fight to find the courage to do what is right and best for others? “Please, can you listen to me?”, she requests quietly. “Spare me your pity party, Y/N.”, he counters nonchalantly. A sob escapes her lips, “I promise it’s not pity. I just want to explain.” Logan is silent and before he can object she begins, “Our arrangement.. I, I liked that. And I loved the thrill knowing you and knowing that you wanted me around and at these fancy parties. I loved the opportunities. But I couldn’t stand you, Logan. I couldn’t stand the asshole Logan Delos. I hated your consistent empathy deficit, your human unavailability, you big fucking ego and the looks I got and the rumors they made up. You were dragging me down and it was an obstacle to my- my career.” The man exhales and shakes his head, still avoiding her eyes. The dam breaks and Y/N is sobbing without concealment, “You were right, Logan. I did not want to be associated with that person. And I had neither time nor patience to wait for childhood bedroom Logan to make an appearance every once in a while. The news about Westworld, the shitstorm the tabloids involved me in were the final straw. I had to do somethin, Logan.” It’s not like Y/N ended a love affair both felt attached to. 

Logan wasn’t bad romance, he was no romance. He never put his ego on the line to show her what their arrangement meant to him, if it meant anything at all. The end was right there at the start. Y/N whimpers and cautiously sits down on his mattress touching his hand. Logan does not pull away but his eyes are filled with hatred. “I liked the quiet moments. When it was just you and me and you forgot all about your ego. That evening in your father’s house. You didn’t talk directly to me but it made me feel like you trusted me. You allowed me a glimpse of a part of you no one ever saw, a heart under all these layers of asshole. It was a second and then you were a prick again. That day in the hospital I- I saw it in your eyes, your pain and desperation. The person you were trying so hard to hide lay there stripped off all the swagger, ego and pretense. The mask just slipped.” She wipes away her tears, “I was an asshole, too. I only thought of myself. The knife was already stuck in your chest and I pushed it just a little deeper. I knew you were hurting, and - and alone. I could only imagine what you had endured in the desert. Physically, I knew. I saw the burns. And the nurses told me how delirious you were after your rescue. Logan, I- I- I should have stayed. There was nobody, you were alone and I- I knew that, and I- I could have been somebody, someone.”

Guilt is the dance partner of greed in the grand theatre of emotional indifference. It is ice in her guts. It could be a hundred degrees outside and she would still be frozen on the inside. Y/N always struggled to accept, and though it is hard to move past her mistakes, she owns them, she holds them as her own. “After your voice message I just- I just ignored every piece of paper that had your name or picture on, every article, every tweet. I didn’t find out about what happened in Westworld and your company exit until.. Until news of your overdose broke.”, her thumb rubs light circles on his knuckles,.“I know it’s too late. But I am here now.”, Y/N cries. The tension is cut when a sweet nurse enters the room to inform Y/N that Mr Delos needs rest. When Logan still stares at the opposite wall and doesn’t intervene, she nods, inhales, wipes away the remaining tears and finally stands up to grab her bag and coat. “Come back tomorrow..”, she turns around, Logan now facing her with tears in his eyes on the edge of spilling over, “...please.”.

It is so easy to break a person, it takes so very long to repair. Logan was broken, shattered and ground into the earth by the heels of once family. He has to take the part of him that is broken and make it a ghost, a ghost that falls away and becomes nothing. The next day at the hospital Logan tells her that he can’t beat it on his own. Y/N promises him support and they discuss rehab options. 

-

Without awareness of the road or the rain, her car moves over the highway. This was her time to let her brain roam free and her heart explore the eagerness that’s bubbling in the pit of her stomach upon her reunion with Logan. Three long months of residential treatment and the progress he has made since is evident - it was evident during every phone call, in every email and the two times she was able to visit him. Several weeks into rehabilitation he had revealed to her that the traumatising events that had occured in Westworld had been a calculated move by William to irrevocably remove Logan from the company - he was a menace, but it was William’s foul play that made him dig when he had already hit rock bottom. Her earnest “I believe you, Logan” inspired mammoth strength in him. Mentally, Logan went back to where it happened. Taking away painful memories of hurt to prove to himself that he was able to move on worked out well for him, he had learned that early in the rehabilitation centre. He replaced the memory of William with a memory of her, the evening he’d met her. It was as if he wrote a good story over the top of a bad story, and in time the ink of the bad would fade away until only the good remains. 

Logan had called her every time he had the chance to listen to her new music. Since his overdose she had worked as a composer on several movies and one limited series, and featured as a solo pianist on a dozen other motion picture scores. There were times it felt as if her music was teaching his brain how to flow, how to be peaceful when his mind wanted to suffocate him. An invitation to idleness and to feel the presence of himself, a patient version of himself that is content. Logan was proud of her and he didn’t shy away from telling her. Treatment taught and enabled him to open up to people. 

Logan spots her car from afar and a warm feeling of contentment settles in. There is an ‘after rehab’ filled with uncertainty and possibility; time will tell what his future holds. As her Audi A5 creeps over the hill, he feels more positive than ever before. Perhaps it is optimism, the anticipation of good things to come. She steps out of her car and he immediately engulfs her in his arms. There is an energy to their hug, as if the matter of one powered up the other. “I missed you.”, he confesses sincerely, an honesty that feels so foreign and yet so right. She hugs him even tighter, “I missed you too, Logan. And I am so glad I’ll have you around for my birthday.”

Her big day was a week ago but she held off celebrating until Logan was released from the treatment centre. At this age, a birthday is a quiet day. It is a day to reflect on the year that was and what is ahead to strive for, a sort of personal new year. Y/N spent her actual birthday reflecting, she also spent it looking ahead. Today was just going to be an evening with friends.  Logan’s achievements were the reason she wanted to celebrate tonight. 

They took the celebration to a cozy restaurant outside the big city. Her friends welcomed him with open arms. In that place he could be anyone, or perhaps no one at all. If her guests followed his story on the news, they didn’t show it. His past had conditioned him to crave the spotlight, but Logan realised that he is happiest when part of a little crowd like this. Birthday cake was served, it was rainbows on rainbows on rainbows. Layered rainbow hued cakes in rainbow hues buttercream with rainbow sprinkles on top. And her smile went viral around the room, how could it not? In the buzz of a restaurant words can be challenging to catch, yet her body language and her vibrant soul are so easy to catch. This is contentment. Logan doesn’t know if his words would be easy to catch through the cheerful murmuring. He knocks a fork against his glass of soda to signal his upcoming speech and clears his throat, “Y/N, oh look at you. I haven’t been in your life for long but I know this is exactly where you are meant to be. We are all here to celebrate your birthday, and I promise I won’t make this about myself. I just want you to know, today and always, that I am proud of you, and so thankful you are a part of my life. They say once you have mastered being alone you are ready for the company of others. Well, I don’t know if that’s true, I have been alone all my life and don’t think I ever mastered anything until I had your company. Sorry, this uh, this is me trying to say thank you. For everything. Here’s to you, my best friend, my only friend.”. Her friends cheer and raise their glasses and she smiles - a smile that does not reach her eyes. And after a fork of cake she excuses herself from the table and flees to the porch.

Y/N wants to be a strong lioness with the softness of a little rabbit. Instead she fears she exposes the frightened little child within, damaged and afraid. She finds forgiving herself so impossible, she keeps creating her own emotional scars. “Hey, are you okay?”, his voice snaps her out of her thoughts. She inhales deeply before turning around, “Yeah. And I hope you know that you have more friends now than just me.”, her finger points at the group inside. Logan doesn’t react, instead he investigates her facial features. “You were crying.”, he states matter-of-factly, “is it because of something I said?”. Y/N shakes her head and looks away, “Not now, Logan. Please..” He steps closer, “I saw it inside after my speech. Please, Y/N, if it’s something I said, I-”, Logan starts panicking. Y/N puts her hand on his arm in a comforting manner, “No, no Logan, at least not per se. I - god, I don’t know how to say this.”

When you go too far with guilt it becomes a heavy basket you were supposed to put down once you had learned whatever it came to teach you. Forgiveness, forgiving yourself is the key. “I have been the most awful person to you, Logan. I feel guilty everytime you smile at me or you tell me you are thankful for me and proud because I just don’t deserve all this. I don’t deserve your friendship or your affection. I treated you like a piece of dirt under my shoe because all I could think about was myself and my career. You nearly died two times and I could have prevented at least one time if I hadn’t been such an egocentric bitch. I don’t deserve you, Logan.”, she weeps. In the past, Logan would have reacted poorly to a confession like that, but all he could feel right in this moment is relief. He hugs her close to his chest, “I was using you as well, Y/N. You looked great on my arm and that impressed my father. A woman with a brain, an education, talent, ambition and a promising career ahead of her. You ticked all the boxes. The other physical activities we engaged in were a bonus.” A soft kiss on top of her head, “I thought of you in Westworld, you know? When I thought I was dying all my thoughts started and ended with you and I couldn’t figure out why. Maybe I hoped I would have invested in more than just the illusion of our friendship. I never had a friend but it’s all I ever wanted. To mean something to someone. Our arrangement came closest. You couldn’t have prevented what happened after the hospital. I would have pushed you away or worse, dragged you even further down with me.” Y/N finally looks up and he cups her cheek, “We are not the same people we were two years ago, Y/N.”

-

What makes Christmas special is not the date on the calendar, it is the way people become Santa for each other. People take the time to see souls and their wellness and needs. They rest in silent moments to observe what is rather than allowing the restlessness of the world to swallow the ones they love. For a little moment in time we just stop and bring those we love into clear definition. There is a reason why love is invisible, undetectable without the mind. Logan felt it for a while now, the little tingle in his chest every time she smiled at him, the longing for her touch and sweet sounds of her heartfelt laughter, the yearning for a future with her. He wondered what it would feel like waking up next to her, holding her. Y/N is the positive change, the sunlight that broke through all his darkness. Logan started working in corporate marketing for an independent entertainment company that specialises in film production and distribution, a venture that not only revealed his true passion, but one that brought him even closer to her. They dream of collaborating and have already started brainstorming ideas. After rehab he moved in with her, a solution they had discussed in the past until he earned enough money to rent his own place. Six months later he still occupied her guest room. 

Y/N beams with excitement as she wakes him early on Christmas morning. Both ventured out of their respective rooms at night to carefully place gifts under the tree. A sleepy Logan enters the living room space and kneels down next to her in front of the tree, “So, how do we do this?”. She moves a couple of chocolate boxes around until she finds what she was looking for - a small box wrapped in red and gold paper with Logan’s name on it. “You go first!”, she frolics. Logan reaches for his gift for her under the tree and nervously shakes his head, “You go first.” In a situation like this it would be odd to not feel anxiety. A feeling that slowly becomes background noise as if it was traffic on some unseen road. She nods and carefully separates wrapping paper from a tiny jewellery box. Y/N doesn’t wear jewellery often and the idea of finding a special personal ornament in there that Logan picked for her fills her with warmth. The inside reveals a golden necklace, two shooting stars crossing. “It’s beautiful, Logan! Thank you so much”, she studies the jewelry and continues, “help me put it on?”. Logan moves over and assists her with the tiny clasp. Deep in admiration she wonders, “Why stars?”. Logan blushes and clears his throat, “They are, uh, crossing. It’s star-crossed lovers.” 

Y/N pauses for a second, hesitation and confusion eating her features. Logan becomes more nervous as her silence continues. “I - I love you, Y/N.”, he corrects himself immediately, “I am in love with you. The only real thing in my life is you, is love and if you don’-”. Y/N interrupts him before he can finish the thought, “Open your gift, Logan.”. With skepticism he unwraps and opens the little box, “A key?” he asks incredulously and she simply smiles at him, “Live with me. Stay with me forever, Logan. I love you, too.” Logan drops the case and leans over to her, capturing her lips in a soft kiss that made all his thoughts disappear. There was no doubt clouding their features, just love and bliss finally settling in. Logan Delos exchanged the world that deals in money for a world that deals in love. Assurance, not insurance.

#logan delos x reader #bbficexchange2021 #logan delos #westworld #ben barnes character #logan delos x you

[the-purity-pen]

This is your check-in for our Ben Barnes Holiday Fic Exchange!

We've messaged most of you and have heard back from a good few of you that things are wrapping or you're actively working on your pieces and that makes us so excited!

If we have reached out to you, please continue working/writing/editing, whatever phase you're on! It's almost time to post your story for your giftee!

Speaking of posting, we have come up with a hashtag to better keep the collection together.

#bbficexchange2021

As always, if you have an questions, feel free to ask @flightlessangelwings or myself.

Or feel free to JOIN OUR DISCORD SERVER

We are so excited that posting time is so close and we hope you all are excited as well!

Reminder:

Dec 20 - Dec 30: post dates and celebrations

Tagging participants:

@shadow-assassin-blix @ramadiiiisme @my-day6 @something-tofightfor @stardust-danvers @blanchedelioncourt @the-cult-of-russo @artemiseamoon @stuckysdaughter @Beautifuldegenerate @mesmorales @aleksandersshadow @fieryhuntress @writing--whore @fific7 @thatbritishactor @miraclegrisha @mikeisthricedeceased @autumnleaves1991-blog @agirllovespaghetti @whatupitshuff @all-art-is-quite-useless @sageswritings @shannynouhoh @eurosthewanderer

#bbficexchange2021 #ben barnes #ben barnes fic exchange #ben barnes discord #holiday fic exchange

[thatbritishactor]

Secret Santa Fic Exchange for @blanchedelioncourt

Take Me Apart (part 2)

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Summary: Your friends have been trying to set you up with Billy for a year now. Spending New Year’s Eve with him in a remote cabin might finally do the trick.

Type: Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Idiots to lovers, “There’s Only one bed”.

Words: 2,700

Part 1

Take me Apart playlist

My Masterlist

It’s nearly 6 pm when you’re on your second round of long island ice teas. Karen and Frank just finished preparing the desserts for later. They’ve retrieved in the living room while Billy and you prepare his legendary homemade pizzas. You’re on dough duty while he takes care of the tomato sauce and toppings. He’s disposing cherry tomatoes in a bowl when he asks you an unexpected question.

“So, you seeing anyone interesting these days?”

You keep kneading the dough, a smile escaping your lips.

“No” you reply, wiping your forehead with your wrist, looking back at him “Just a bunch of uninteresting people”.

“Shame” he states, his dark eyes glinting. Something pulls inside your stomach when your eyes meet his, and you try to bury the feeling deep, focusing back on kneading.

“What about you, Billy?” you ask, making a ball with the dough before wiping your hands on the apron. Billy watches you, his eyes following your every move.

“Same as you” he answers before biting into a cherry tomato.

“You know, we’re supposed to put those on the pizza, right?” you ask, gesturing to the fruits in his hand. He releases a chuckle.

“I know, but these are so good. Where’d you get them?”

“Farmer’s market” you reply, facing him. You lean against the kitchen counter, putting your hands behind you.

A small silence settles, only disturbed by laughter coming from the living room. An alarm goes off and you jump, looking at the oven.

“The pecan pie” you remark.

“It’s okay, I’ll do it”. Billy slides mittens on. You watch him move, appreciating his precise gestures, the way his grey sweater hugs his toned torso and his arms, biting your lower lip. You check him out when he leans to open the oven, and he grabs the grid, and puts it over the stove. You approach him and look at the dessert, humming appreciatively.

“That smells amazing!” Karen shouts from the couch. You and Billy chuckle and share a glance; you swallow thickly when his dark eyes find yours. You step back and grab your drink, trying to recollect yourself. Frank steps into the kitchen, clapping his hands.

“Time for another beer” he gloats, opening the fridge.

“Still no long island?” you ask.

“Nah, I’m sticking to beer”

“You better drink the champagne I brought, tomorrow” Billy warns.

“Yes, Mr. Fancy Boy” Frank jokes, and Billy throws a tomato at him. Frank dodges it and leaves, laughing loudly.

“What’s about that champagne anyway?” you ask Billy, putting a cloth over the dough, and going to the sink to wash your hands.

“I’ve spent 500 dollars on that bottle”

You stare at him, baffled.

“500 dollars for that rube?” you exclaim, and Frank shouts from the living room.

“Who you callin’ a rube, missy?”

The four of you laugh, and Billy grabs both of your drinks as you join your friends in the living room. You settle on the couch in front of the fireplace, and Billy sits next to you. You try to focus on the conversation rather than the fact that he’s close to you, and that extending your arm would suffice to touch him.

You put your legs under you, and Karen suggests you play a game while the dough rests. After arguing over which game is best, you settle on King’s Cup. You quickly notice that Frank and Karen push Billy and you to partner up, and you’d be upset if you weren’t drunk.

Being tipsy makes you careless, and you appreciate drinking when Billy does, as if an invisible thread is linking the two of you. You try not to overthink and have a good time, something you’ve managed to do for the last year whenever you were hanging out with him. Being around Billy sometimes feels effortless: he makes you laugh; you share common interests and you’ve developed a good relationship. Other times it’s harder, especially when you feel weak and indulge in thoughts involving his hands, his mouth, or every other part of him you wish you’d have on your body.

An hour later, you’re all laughing and feeling relaxed. You take the final card, a ten of spades. You must start a category, and you’re lost in thoughts for a whole minute, unable to decide. Billy starts to pressure and tease you, calling you slow, and you throw the card at him.

“All right!” you shout, narrowing your eyes. “Category is the list of women Billy Russo has slept with” you state, turning to him and meeting his dark gaze. You’re surprised to find them shimmering, wondering how he’s feeling right now. Maybe he’s just drunk. Frank whistles before speaking.

“You know you’re supposed to pick a category we can finish tonight, right?” he jokes, and Billy throws a cushion at him while Karen snorts.

“Alright, I’ll start” you say, straightening your back and cracking your neck. “Stacy the bartender”. You turn to Billy, and he takes a sip, escaping your gaze. It’s Karen’s turn and she replies immediately.

“My friend Chelsea” she says, nodding. Frank looks surprised.

“You didn’t... She’s engaged!”

“She was.” Billy mysteriously states, and you cackle before putting your face in your hand. This category is good for you right now: you’re feeling especially attracted to him tonight and resisting the need to get close to him grows harder with each sip of your drink.

“Okay, alright. Madeline Rich” Frank states, and you nod. It’s Billy’s turn. You do several rounds, and Billy’s expression darkens with each name uttered by one of you. You start to feel a little guilty when he starts to fidget on his spot, stroking his eyebrow. It’s a gesture you’ve already seen him display whenever he was feeling nervous, and you decide to end the tour and pretend that you’ve run out of names of women. He seems relieved when you take a sip of your drink, indicating that you don’t have anything to add to the category.

The game ends and you spy on Billy from the corner of your eye, looking for signs suggesting that he feels uneasy or upset.  His smile looks a bit forced, and you find him unusually stiff. Guilt infiltrates your bones, and you want to reach out to him and apologize for making him uncomfortable. You decide that you’ll do it later, preferably when you’re alone with him, unwilling to do it in front of the matchmakers. It would only make them even more unsufferable than they already are.

It’s time to make dinner and you set the table while your friends work on their pizzas. Dinner goes smoothly and you exchange anecdotes, playing the game two truths, one lie. You learn plenty about Frank and Billy, discovering that they were scout sniper specialists, and did several tours in Iraq. They amaze you with stories of war and camaraderie, and it’s a little after midnight when Frank and Karen decide to head to bed, leaving you alone with Billy. You decide to keep playing two truths one lie together, neither of you ready to go to bed yet.

“All right, my turn” Billy states after you’ve made him laugh with a childhood story involving you eating dirt. He puts his elbows on the table, leaning toward you, and makes the serious face he exhibits when he means business. His eyes shimmer when he speaks next, and you try to focus on his words rather than the things you’d like him to do to you.

“I have 134 confirmed kills, I grew up in a foster family, and I’ve never been in love”, he declares. The last affirmation takes your breath away, and you ponder on his words, the alcohol making your mind drowsy. You think for a few seconds, glancing back to him, and he grins. You blink a few times, refusing to be distracted by him.

“I think that the last one is true” you start, and Billy raises his eyebrows, still smiling. You bite your lower lip and keep going. “You growing up in a foster family sounds familiar” you think out loud. “And 134 kills seem like way too much for one person. I think it’s the lie”. You stare back into his obsidian gaze, a smirk forms on his lips.

“Actually, you’re wrong.”

You raise your hands in disbelief.

“Come on!” you shout, “What was it then?”

“I was raised in a foster home” he admits, his eyes wandering over the floor before falling on your face again. “Never in a foster family”.

“Oh.” Is all you say, and you lower your eyes, looking at your hands resting on your lap. “I’m sorry” you add, knowing how he’ll react next.

“It’s nothing” Billy replies, looking suddenly distant. You’ve noticed before that he seems to hate pity.

“You lose” he says, and you take the final sip of your drink.

“134 confirmed skills, huh?” you ask, willing to change the subject. Billy grins, and you sigh, relieved to have taken his mind off your last display of unwanted empathy. You both laugh and a comfortable silence settle, only disturbed by the crackling of the fire in the chimney.

“It’s pretty late” you acknowledge, “We should go to bed if we want to be in shape for tomorrow’s hike.” Billy hums in agreement, glancing briefly at the couch.

“We could share the bed, you know” you surprise yourself saying. Billy’s eyes find yours, and you find shock in his dark gaze. Your heart starts to pound in your chest, your slow mind only just grasping the implications of what you’ve just said.

“As friends” you add.

Billy nods before settling his drink on the table. “The couch is okay. I’ve slept on far worse.”

“I know, Lieutenant Russo” you tease, hitting him with your foot. “Still, we’re adults. We can behave, right?”

You wait for his answer, your heart beating wildly in your chest. The alcohol gave you the courage to be straightforward, but you anxiously wait for him to speak. You have no idea of what just came over you, because sharing a bed with him seems like the worst idea you’ve ever had. Somehow, part of you wants him to say yes, and you know that it’s the one you’ve been trying to silence for a year.

“Fine, I guess” he sighs, and you roll your eyes.

“I was just trying to be nice.”

“So honorable” he teases, and you get on your feet, grab the empty glasses, and bring them to the kitchen. Billy follows you silently, and you put the dishes in the dishwasher while he cleans the table and the kitchen counter. Once you’re done, you share an awkward glance, and you decide to head upstairs, hearing him closely following you. You climb the stairs, your heart sill racing in your chest, feeling adrenaline pulsing through your veins. Your stomach’s doing backflips, and your hands are slightly trembling.

You enter the bedroom and retrieve your pajamas from your bag, grateful that you chose you’re the prettiest set you own for the weekend. You try to breathe evenly and give him another look before heading to the bathroom. He removes his sweater, and you catch a glimpse of his toned stomach, your heart stammering as you turn over quickly and leave the room. You angrily brush your teeth, contemplating your life choices, blaming yourself for asking the hottest guy you know into your bed under the false pretense of friendship. What the fuck is wrong with you?

Why did you ask the guy you’re crushing on to share a bed with you? Are you a masochist? You shake your head, amazed by your own stupidity when you hear soft knocks on the door. Billy enters, holding his toothbrush, and you smile at him before leaving. You’re still trying to control your breathing and fast heartbeat when he enters the bedroom again, and you’ve already changed into your pjs. You slide under the covers, trying hard not to notice that he’s wearing a black shirt that makes him look even hotter.

“I sleep in my briefs, is that okay?” he asks, and you shake your head a hum in a high pitch, unable to control your own voice. You settle on the pillow while he walks around the bed and sits on it, removing his black jeans. You grab your phone and scroll through your messages, trying to distract yourself from the fact that Billy Russo sits half naked next to you.

You focus on your breathing, almost worried you might pass out when he slides under the covers next to you. Thankfully, the king-sized bed is large enough for you to fit in without touching. You sigh and put your phone on the nightstand, wondering if you’ll be able to sleep tonight.

“I hope that I won’t be too hungover tomorrow” Billy comments in a tired voice, and you glance at him to find him lying on his back, his eyes closed. You stare at his beautiful profile, detailing the way his hair falls at the sides of his face, a rare occurrence since it’s usually perfectly styled. You resist the urge to slide your fingers through the dark strands, admiring the shape of his cheekbones, his strong jaw, the beauty spot under his eye and his lashes.

“I know, me too” you reply oddly out of breath, and Billy opens his eyes, his dark irises capturing you.

“D’you want some aspirin?”

“So chivalrous” you remark, shifting on your side to face him, and putting your arm under the pillow.

Billy scoffs “I’m just tryin’ to be nice” he sighs, closing his eyes again, and you chuckle.

“Since when are you nice?”

He opens his eyes to roll them.

“Since always, you just have a lot of prejudice against me”, he replies, looking back at you. You stop breathing when your eyes meet, surprised to find vulnerability in his charcoal gaze.

“I do? Like what?” you inquire, genuinely curious.

Billy shifts from his back to lie on his side, facing you. You watch him move, your heart beating in your ears, and you’re afraid he might hear it.

“You think I’m shallow” he starts, almost in a whisper “Superficial, vain.”

You swallow thickly, your cheeks getting red.

“See, I’m right” he smiles, “You’re blushing because I’m right.”

“It’s not that” you close your eyes to escape his intense gaze. “I just… I don’t really know you” you lamely explain.

“Right, you don’t know me, so why do you think I’m vain?” he asks, his eyes roaming over your face.

You ponder on his question, wondering how you found yourself in this position.

“I don’t know, I guess I thought that anyone as attractive as you would be shallow” you admit, and you catch him grinning, his whole face lighting up, his nose crunching. He looks so much younger like this, his eyes shimmering with mischief, his smile genuine and beautiful, it almost breaks your heart and lures you in, making you unconsciously lean closer to him.

“What?” you ask, blinking. “What did I say?”

“You said I’m attractive” he exults, and you sigh and shift on your back and put a hand over your face.

“You’re a child” you grumble, and he guffaws in response. You glance at him and he’s still grinning like the idiot he is.

“Stop it” you lightly hit him in the shoulder, and he laughs even harder.

“What’s so funny?” you ask, and he puts a hand over his stomach, releasing a satisfied sigh.

“Watching you trying to resist my charms” he replies with the same unbearable grin, and you hit him again before shifting on your other side, your back on him.

“Goodnight, Billy” you say on a dry tone, and you feel him shift in the bed, wondering if he turned his back on you too.

“Night” he replies, and he switches off the lamp on the nightstand.

tag list:

You find yourselves in the dark, your cheeks still burning from the embarrassment, and you close your eyes and try not to think about Billy, his warm body, his stupid face, his dark eyes, or his strong hands, a few inches away from you.

.

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Part 3

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@hagarsays

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#ben barnes #billy russo #bbficexchange2021 #billy russo x reader #billy russo x you #the punisher #billy russo fanfiction #my fics #take me apart