#because that certainly hasn’t been overplayed either

[therewrites]

We Are Who We Are Overall Thoughts *spoilers*

This review will be discussing briefly some of the episodes so far, so SPOILERS

So I started watching the HBO original series, We Are Who We Are, and I am conflicted. When I initially watched it, the dialogue made it hard for me to enjoy it so I stopped. Then after a couple of weeks after its airing, I thought, what the hell? And this time, I was pleasantly surprised. I always maintain the belief that pilot episodes are either boring, messy, or just bad so I try to push past it in order to get to the good shit. The pilot for We Are Who We Are was...I’m not sure how to explain...different? It certainly wasn’t bad and it made an impression on me, but this show as a whole is hard to limit by just a few words. It’s really something that you should watch and experience yourself.

It was only after the first 3 episodes that I began to understand the tone and mood that Luca Guadagnino was trying to convey. A lot of the time, the dialogue is abrupt and choppy and can make no sense. It can be frustrating, especially when you have two characters that aren’t communicating effectively. But I think that was the point. Guadagnino is a very realistic director, he captures the most realistic elements in a film. A lot of the conversations between characters is meant to emulate real life. Like, what the hell do you say when a conversation becomes awkward? Well, nothing sometimes.

While Guadagnino’s typical cinematography may suggest whimsy, in WAWWA’s case the small structured and synthetic model of the military base is juxtaposed to the very concrete characters. When I started to view the show less as simply a televised airing of fictional characters and problems, and instead looked at them as people, I began to really enjoy it. 

Take the main character of Fraser, played by Jack Dylan Grazer. Fraser is meant to be seen as an extremely complex and troubled kid, but the difference between him and every other teen in a coming-of-age drama is that he isn’t polished. His drinking and drug habit isn’t framed as romantic or beautiful, in fact most of the time it’s portrayed as his weakness of sorts. In the first episode, Fraser has one of his mothers drive him home after getting pretty wasted and Luca graces us with a direct shot of him throwing up. And before that, Fraser is stumbling on a bridge when he drunkenly falls and cuts his face. Everything the character does is messy, uncoordinated, yet extremely real and relatable. Hell, in one shot you can clearly see him do a Naruto run!

Caitlin/Harper is a character that I enjoyed watching, as well. Jordan Seamon did a fantastic job and I really connected with their character. Initially we see Caitlin as this mysterious girl, and in the pilot we are meant to assume that their relationship with Fraser is supposed to develop into a romantic one. This is not the case as it seems that Caitlin is trying to come to terms with who they are. The biggest shift in Caitlin’s character isn’t their friendship with Fraser but probably when they get their period. 

This was a moment that even I related to, even though I am cis when I first got my period I didn’t tell my mom until the day after. The possible confusion and shift in their reality that Caitlin felt was only heightened with the conflict of their boyfriend wanting to be more physically intimate, and Fraser’s eventual discover of Harper. I would have like to see exactly why Fraser seemed drawn to Caitlin. I’m assuming viewers were supposed to think that Fraser is attracted to her, or something. But both Caitlin/Harper and Fraser are queer coded and their respective sexualities are alluded to not being straight. It would’ve made their standing as platonic friends more clear if this had been established stronger. 

I definitely think the writer could have devoted more time to giving certain characters proper conversations. It would’ve given more development to certain characters and better context for things. However even without that, there is a lot that the audience is showed that can’t be told through dialogue. The power struggle between Sarah and Richard being one. So far, there hasn’t been any explanation as to why they have a such a volatile relationship other than Richard being a homophobe. 

Through deeper inspection, I was able to interpret it as: Richard may heavily resent the fact the Sarah was promoted to Colonel and not him. It is never made clear who has the better credentials, Sarah or Richard, but assuming that she was the one promoted it is a safe guess. This may be highlighted by the fact that Sarah is a women, and also gay. Even before episode 7, it was clear that Richard did not respect her authority. I also interpreted it as Richard being upset that and openly gay women was promoted instead of him, a black man. 

Of course this is just based on my own personal knowledge of how the U.S. military can be towards people of color and LGBTQ+. Regardless, the competitive tension between two parents is palpable without needing dialogue to explain.  

When conflict happens, I can kind of figure out which characters are going to react and which one’s will stay silent. I think the show is trying to accomplish a drastically realistic and raw series. It took me while to adjust to it, but by maybe the 2nd or 3rd episode, it starts to grow on you. Despite not liking a good majority of the characters, I was very surprised by how invested I was in them. 

Like, Danny is my least favorite character because he displays very abusive and explosive tendencies, and doesn’t seem to care about the world around him. However, getting glimpses into his character and seeing how Richard ignores him for Caitlin/Harper, his suicidal thoughts, and how he is trying to reclaim his cultural and religious background makes me empathize with him. 

Even though I hate his character, I can see that he is struggling. I appreciate the way that this show freely shows dark skinned black boys dealing with mental health issues, and personal development. Rarely are issues like suicide talked about in the black community, so seeing Danny talk about it and Craig offering(admittedly poor)comfort was touching. This is a general vibe that I get from nearly all the characters on WAWWA. I also appreciated the how Danny is actively trying to convert to Islam. In shows, rarely is Islam ever portrayed in a positive manner. Especially when female characters are shown to be struggling with their religion, Islam is shown as this barrier that prevents them from living life. Hopefully it goes without saying that the “taking off the hijab” as a way to show that a female character is “liberated” is overplayed and does not offer any respect to the countless Muslim women who choose to wear hijabs. 

Now I think the pacing of some of the storylines could have been handled a bit more gracefully. Like how we jump from Fraser and Harper being kind of enemies(not really but you know what I mean), to just them hanging out in Richard’s boat was jarring. I would have at least liked to see the scene of them talking on the rocks at the beach. It would’ve given more insight on Caitlin/Harper’s character and also on Fraser too. Also how quickly Maggie and Lu(Jennifer but I love the name Lubaba, it’s my aunt’s name)jump into a physical affair. I just would have liked to see a build up of tension between all these characters but I don’t think this entirely ruins the plot. 

I was very iffy when I learned that the show would be focusing on trans identity and gender and sexuality, but not actually hire a trans male actor. I was afraid that the show would completely botch the experiences of being transgender, and honestly I don’t have the authority to speak on whether or not this affects the quality of the show. I am cisgender, and only can empathize with this particular situation as much as I can. But I would like to hear to the opinion of someone who is trans and elaborate on the ways that they did/didn’t like Jordan Kristine Seamón’s portrayal. 

Now at the time I’m writing this, the season finale has yet to come out. But I’d also like to briefly discuss the most recent episode and how it developed Jonathan and Fraser’s relationship. I was VERY worried that Guadagnino was going to take their relationship in the direction of inappropriate. While nearly all the depictions of Jonathan and his actions have been trough Fraser’s pov, it didn’t stop me from side-eyeing some of the interactions they shared. Of course after it was mentioned that Jonathan was supposed to be in his late 20s, nearing 30 I was immediately uncomfortable with the very flirty behavior he exhibited. 

So when the scene of Fraser going up to his apartment after Craig’s death, I was very on edge. If Guadagnino had gone the extra mile to show an even larger age gap then I would’ve been pissed. While I enjoyed Call Me By Your Name, the implication that sexual relationships between barely legal teenagers and adults well into their 20s was sensual is something that I see as very weird now that I’m older. So seeing Jonathan as the object of Fraser’s affections made me extremely warry. 

And honestly, I’m still surprised that the scene even happened in its entirety. I’m sure that Jack was not in any danger of being exploited but there were definitely points while watching I thought, what the fuck is going on? I was very worried that it would escalate, but I was happy to see that Fraser was the one who stopped it from going further.  It made sense to me that this scene took so many liberties to be as graphic as possible without being too graphic, in order to show why a situation like that would be scary and confusing for Fraser. It wasn’t lost to me that Marta and Jonathan were the one’s initiating all the sexual advances. They held all the power in that scenario, even more so because Fraser is younger and has the tendencies to not make the best decisions. Though it seemed that Fraser was trying, he knew that the situation was fucked up.

I’d like to hear what JDG felt and thought doing this scene. What was his character’s thought process?

I’ve seen a lot of people compare the show heavily to CMBYN, which is fine. Besides certain cinematic parallels that people pointed out, I don’t see the clear comparison. CMBYN is more of a love story and it’s more polished than WAWWA. Now when I say tat, I don’t mean it as a negative. Rather, We Are Who We is obviously more devoted to realism and its characters. I appreciate the inclusion of more LGBTQ+ people and black main characters with development, something that CMBYN lacked. And for some people who didn’t like the show based solely on the fact that it wasn’t a CMBYN tv show, I suggest just going into it with no expectations and enjoy the mess. 

And I’d also like to take a moment to commend Jack Dylan Grazer for his job in We Are Who We Are. All of the main cast are amazing actors and actresses and did a really good job bringing their characters to life. Though, I had always associated JDG with supporting roles that, while highlighted his acting talent, only put him in a one-dimensional light. As good as It 2017 was, JDG’s role of Eddie is only meant to be seen as a comic relief. In WAWWA, I was able to forget that he was teen actor, Jack Dylan Grazer, and really see him as Fraser. It’s worth mentioning that in a GQ interview, Grazer also mentioned how this role made him reevaluate is approach to acting. 

And after reading an interview he did with a Interview Germany, with him saying he spent months in Italy reading the script and trying to perfectly craft this character, I was immensely impressed. I hope that he knows that all his hard work payed off and made a really dynamic and interesting character. I really hope that in the future JDG continues with more mature or multi-dimensional roles because he displayed that he has the talent to do so. Him being so young makes me optimistic in knowing that he is definitely going places in his career. I also hope that there will be a season 2 of WAWWA because despite having hour long episodes, the show still felt way too short. There is a lot about Fraser’s character, and all the others’ characters, that I want more information and analysis on.

#We Are Who We Are #wawwa #wawwa spoilers #wawwa hbo #jack dylan grazer #jordan seamon #luca guadagnino #series review #I lived for the fact that Fraiser is an absolute mess cuz same #chloe sevigny #faith alabi #tom mercier #jonathan wawwa #hbo max #coming of age #kid cudi #spence moore ii #corey knight #francesca scorsese #alice braga #i can do a in-depth character analysis cuz i feel like there is a lot to every character that most people haven't addressed #really enjoyed it #if it doesn't get renewed im gonna fucking cry #fraser wilson #caitlin poythress #sarah wilson

[ineffable-endearments]

Foiling Nightmares

Rating: T

Relationship: Aziraphale/Crowley

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Dreams and Nightmares, Post Almost-Apocalypse, Cuddling, Kissing, Wings

Word Count: 3466

Content Warnings: brief mentions of violence/death, mild suggestive themes

Aziraphale decides to try an ancient human experience that some people would say he's never given much of a chance: sleep. He isn't quite prepared to have a nightmare about certain recent apocalyptic events, but fortunately, he also won't have to deal with it alone.

Will be reblogging with a link to AO3! Thanks to FangsScalesSkin and ArgentConflagration on AO3 for their eyes.

=

Six thousand years - over two million days - and this is probably his best day in existence. Aziraphale adjusts his bow tie in eager preparation as he and Crowley walk the vast, echoing halls of Heaven. As soon as they finish this discussion with the Archangels, they can go back and save Earth, and everything will be better than it ever has before.

Of course, as he’s told, no demon has ever Risen before. He’s not sure how the process would work, or if anything would change for Crowley except some ceremonial non— er, some ceremonial process by the Archangels.

Uriel had been the hardest to convince. They had made exactly the same arguments Crowley had made - that demons are unforgivable, that to try and redeem one would be to defeat the original purpose in casting them out. But Gabriel’s enthusiasm and the assurance that this must also be the Lord’s work had won them over in the end.

Michael had been unexpectedly enthusiastic. It was rather surprising, as Michael did lead the original War in Heaven. But Aziraphale had been able to convince them without much trouble by framing Crowley’s exile and return as all part of the Great Plan, not as an error in Michael’s judgement. (Of course, Aziraphale couldn’t have cared less why Crowley was coming back, just that he would be here.)

Sandalphon...it was better not to linger on Sandalphon. Sandalphon hadn’t been disagreeable, had been rather easy to convince, following Gabriel’s lead on the whole thing, but it had bared its teeth in this nasty grin that reminded Aziraphale of crucified corpses and salt pillars.

After the initial explanation (“I believe that in the course of our enmity, well, the demon Crowley has asked— he would like to— I believe he may be interested in being redeemed, you see, it really is quite remarkable”), Gabriel had seemed rather jovial about the possibility, all things considered.

And this led them here, to the great white expanse of Heaven, all the great monuments of the world visible from the massive windows. Crowley trails uncharacteristically behind, looking nervous; every now and then, Aziraphale turns back to give him a reassuring smile. Each time, Crowley nods. Aziraphale can’t quite place the expression on his face, but oh, well - he can’t be blamed for being nervous.

At last, they reach the end of Heaven’s hall, the door they were asked to enter for the meeting with the Archangels. Aziraphale smiles at Crowley once again, then holds the door open so he can go in and begin his new life.

Aziraphale enters behind Crowley, and…

It’s an all-white room. Oppressively bright, some would say. The Archangels are all there, standing around a bathtub, inside of which immaculate clear water has already been poured. They’ve left room in front of the tub, on the side closest to the door.

“What’s this?” Aziraphale asks. Crowley is unnervingly still, glasses off, full-snake eyes glancing back and forth at the Archangels.

“This is the Rising Ceremony,” Sandalphon oozes.

“It’s a very important custom,” Uriel adds.

That’s odd. They’d said this had never happened before...

“Crowley must get in the tub before he can be fully integrated into Heaven,” says Gabriel.

Michael is standing by, silent, with a crystal-clear pitcher Aziraphale recognizes.

“I don’t—” he stutters. “I don’t know if this…”

“Don’t you worry a bit,” Gabriel says. “If Crowley is ready to come back to Heaven, the holy water won’t hurt him at all!”

Crowley turns to give Aziraphale a look of pure terror.

“You did say he was ready,” Michael says. “You said he changed.”

Uriel nods. “You said it must have been a miracle.”

“Well, but this isn’t necessary,” Aziraphale says. “Crowley is here. He’s already at your mercy.”

“These are the rules,” Gabriel says.

The Archangels stand there, foreboding and immovable. It’s the sparkle in Sandalphon’s eye that finally jolts Aziraphale into grabbing Crowley’s wrist.

“Perhaps it wouldn’t be wise to follow through with this after all,” he says. “Perhaps Crowley should—”

“Oh, he’s not leaving,” Michael says, stepping forward with the infinite pitcher. Sandalphon is already advancing; Aziraphale tries to open the door behind the two of them, but it’s locked.

For the first time, while Aziraphale is fiddling with the doorknob, Crowley speaks. “Angel, please.” He tries to take over, but the door doesn’t yield for him, either.

Aziraphale turns to the Archangels. “Hold on,” he says. “I’m quite sure if we just talk, you can clarify that Crowley is planning to be loyal to Heaven, you understand, and certainly doesn’t need to take any risks to prove it.”

“You know as well as I do that’s not good enough,” Gabriel says with a scorching smile. The Archangels surround the two of them.

=

Aziraphale is barely conscious again before he stumbles through the dark, still in sleepwear, to the phone. It isn’t necessary to see the dial to make the call. As an afterthought, he flicks on the desk lamp for a small bit of light.

“Everything alright?” Crowley asks the instant he picks up.

Oh, dear. He hasn’t thought this far ahead.

“Yes, of course,” Aziraphale says, impatient, because nothing is wrong. Obviously. “What about you?”

“Wha— Me? I’m not the one who called at 3 AM,” Crowley says. He’s tetchy, which means he’s nervous.

“Well. I just wanted to make sure!”

“Um.” There’s a moment of palpable confusion from the other side of the line. Aziraphale has to admit he doesn’t blame him. “Is something wrong? Weren’t you saying you were going to try sleeping tonight?”

“Oh, I did! It was fine, but I’m done now!” says Aziraphale.

“You’re...done,” Crowley echoes.

“Yes. And now, I really should be going.”

“Wait, hang on—”

“I’m glad everything is well, Crowley!” Aziraphale says, overplaying the cheer a little before he hangs up.

There’s an eerie silence in the bookshop now, the conversation still ringing in his ears. Outside, a messy mix of snowy slush is coming down at an alarming rate; he would normally feel protected in here, clad in these warm flannel pyjamas in his dry sanctuary of books in the cold night, but at this moment, he’s feeling only isolation.

Aziraphale takes a deep breath. That was - that call was foolish. He shouldn’t have done that. What an absolute bother. He takes out a copy of a favorite novel - it’s one he’s memorized, but it’s still comforting to see the words there on the page - and hunches over it on his desk, trying in vain to concentrate before noticing he’s opened it upside down.

It’s hardly eight minutes later when the Bentley whooshes up through the sleet, its headlights blaring. Thoroughly humiliated but not surprised, Aziraphale pulls the door open.

Crowley is as handsome as always as he jumps from the car. The red of his hair, a dash of heat, stands out even in the streetlights made faint by precipitation, and he grimaces at the weather but does not bother with a miracle to stay dry.

“Nice PJs,” he says, rushing to the bookshop’s front step.

Aziraphale nods, preoccupied. “Ah. Yes. Alright, then. You should come in.” The pyjamas are quite nice, he thinks, delightfully vintage, his favorite tartan, but Crowley might be being sarcastic. And anyway, they’re not the point of any of this.

Crowley stalks in. He peers around and seems to find nothing of particular interest in the dim light except for Aziraphale, who he levels with a piercing gaze through his glasses. He radiates a sort of energy, and if Aziraphale had to put that energy into words, they would be “I’m not going to relax until you admit the problem.”

Aziraphale lingers by the door after closing it, feeling profoundly awkward. “Had a bit of a nightmare,” he confesses. “I’m - I’m fine now. Just wanted to talk to you, you know, in the real world, to shake it off.”

Crowley points at his own chest. “Me?”

“Yes, you.”

Crowley studies Aziraphale, starts to say something, and pauses for a moment. “Nasty feeling, bad dreams,” he says finally, and slouches toward the old couch in the corner. On it lies the rumpled blanket, betraying Aziraphale’s lack of imagination for sleeping arrangements.

Aziraphale follows without a word, but does not help himself to a seat. He stands and wrings his hands before remembering himself, arbitrarily choosing some books to rearrange on the shelf instead.

“I...should maybe have reminded you,” Crowley adds, frowning at the thought as he takes a seat. “About nightmares. Not sure why I didn’t think of it when I was egging you on earlier.”

Aziraphale shrugs, standing there, not committed to where he wants these books to go, nor particularly caring. He shuffles them from place to place. “I knew about them. We’ve talked about them before. It isn’t your problem.”

“Would it help to talk about it?” Crowley attempts.

Surely he can’t expect Aziraphale to be straightforward about this…?

“It was you who got...hurt,” Aziraphale answers, instead of “no.”

“Oh,” Crowley says, frowning. He pauses, then opens his arms in a sweeping gesture. “Well, as you can see, here I am, doing fine.” He replaces the sympathetic frown with a smile. It’s comforting in a way that only he can manage.

Aziraphale nods. “You are.” He hovers next to Crowley.

“Come on, just sit already,” Crowley says, scooting left, leaning casually to the side with one of his own arms sprawled over that of the couch, patting the seat beside himself.

“It wasn’t just anything that harmed you,” Aziraphale continues, voice low, as if sharing something shameful. Maybe it is. He sits next to Crowley, as invited, a little closer than he would have a few months ago. “It was the Archangels. You - I brought you back up there. Said you were - you’d work with us.”

Crowley snorts. “Hah. First clue it was only a dream.” Sometimes he’s too cavalier, but this time, the tone is welcome. It helps shake off the dream. Of course it would be Crowley who could bring him back to Earth.

“It wasn’t bad at that point! You were a bit too quiet, now that I think of it, but everything else seemed fine. They - the Archangels - said they were going to, ah, test you.”

“Eurgh.”

“But what it really was, it was the same as your--” and here Aziraphale rushes through, as it doesn’t bear thinking about “--execution in Hell. Only they said it wouldn’t hurt you if you were really on our-- um, on Heaven’s side.” Aziraphale pauses.

Crowley waits, as easy-going as ever. Aziraphale finds himself seeking his eyes, accustomed to peering through those dark shades; he’s looking for a sign of discontent, but finds only patience written anywhere on Crowley’s face. Aziraphale shakes his head once, trying to pull himself out of it. “Anyhow. We tried to run. Woke up knowing we were both dead, though I didn’t see it happen.”

“Was only a dream,” Crowley murmurs. “Fake. Like reading a horror story in a book. It’s over now. I know it’s awful, but they pass.”

“I know.” Aziraphale scrunches his eyes shut. He’s read extensively about dreaming, but he can’t say it’s a part of humanity he’s envied. They don’t seem to have much control over where their minds go when they’re asleep. He’d frankly hoped he might be able to shut it off, but if there’s a way to do that, he didn’t find it tonight. “What’s bothering me about it,” Aziraphale continues, voice trembling as he puts his finger on the pulse of something terrible, “is how it almost did really happen. It’s not just any horror story.”

“It didn’t even come close. You’d have never got me up there in reality.”

The lamp on the desk flickers a bit. Aziraphale gets his feelings under control.

“Listen,” Crowley says. “The world was ending, and now it’s not. You said it yourself - everything worked out for the best. Right?”

“Of course, of course.” This is stupid. Aziraphale is being stupid. He should be able to shut all of this off immediately. He shouldn’t have even called Crowley in the middle of the night. “Seeing them in my sleep…” He sighs. “Reopened the wound, I suppose, is all.”

Crowley takes a deep breath and shuffles. It’s the first sign of impatience he’s shown, and it sets Aziraphale on edge, but the line of his brows and the curve of his lips are as soft as ever when he fixes Aziraphale with his gaze.

“What do you want? Like, really want?” Crowley asks. “Find a distraction?”

“I don’t know,” Aziraphale says.

And he’s struck, all at once, with the sensation of having waded far out into the sea and realizing he won’t be able to get back to solid ground before a colossal wave washes over him, because he does know what he wants.

“Angels aren’t supposed to have...this,” he revises.

“What?”

“What I want. Wanting at all, I suppose.”

“Give it a shot,” Crowley says. “We’re not playing by their rules anymore, remember?”

“Ah. Well.” Aziraphale can’t seem to keep the anxiety off his face or out of his voice. It’s not that Crowley isn’t allowed to see him that way, but the veneer of calm would certainly be a comfort right now. “The thing is. I’m not sure how to describe it exactly.”

Crowley shifts his weight so he’s leaning forward toward Aziraphale. It’s not an impatient gesture. Oh, for -- for Someone’s sake, there’s nothing to be afraid of!

“But it’s you,” Aziraphale finally admits. “I only know that I want you, whatever that means, very badly.”

Crowley is silent for a moment. He removes his glasses and lets them drop the short distance to the rug on the floor.

“Just to clarify,” he says carefully, “are you talking about...in the human way…with, you know...?”

Oh, blast it. Aziraphale can’t seem to make eye contact while he’s talking about this. “I’m familiar with what it usually means. And-- and it’s not…” This is supposed to be two different conversations. “I do contemplate the, ah, the carnal way, sometimes. A little bit like...I’ve had your body in the most literal sense,” he says, not bothering to censor any implications about their successful body-swap, “and I think about that, a-and other things too. But it’s not exactly what I mean here.”

Crowley tilts his head to the side, rather like a puppy with snake eyes. “Uh...hmm. Go on.”

“I would like to, um, be very close to you again and simply rest with you. For a long time,” Aziraphale tries. “Perhaps in our own corporations?” The physicality of it, he thinks, might be different that way, and worth exploring.

Crowley frowns and glances about as if he can observe his thoughts floating in the air. Aziraphale can practically see the gears turning in his head. At last, he raises his eyebrows and seems to return to his senses.

“Angel, that’s snuggling. You’re talking about snuggling.”

It is a good thing, he supposes, that at least one of them is capable of being blunt. Aziraphale winces at having his desires laid bare, put so directly, but he does manage to look at Crowley and give him an encouraging half-smile. “I suppose that’s true.”

Crowley swallows. He looks nervous; it’s not what Aziraphale had intended for him to feel. Aziraphale doesn’t question the depth of their bond, but not even all humans show affection physically, not everyone wants to do this sort of activity...

The thought flees along with all other possibilities of rational thought as Crowley moves forward and puts his arm around Aziraphale’s shoulders, gentle, not resting his full weight. “‘S this fine?” he asks, quiet and gruff.

“Brilliant,” Aziraphale whispers back, and leans over so Crowley can reach him better. Whatever spell was restraining him breaks, finally, and he leaves his slippers behind on the ground so he can curl up for real on the couch. Crowley brings his other arm up for a true embrace while Aziraphale holds him, pressing his face into his neck, inhaling his smokey fireside scent.

For everything he’s held - piles and piles of books, things he’s been asked to carry for missions - Aziraphale’s arms have never been so full. Being able to hold Crowley like this, both of them nestled together on the couch now, causes something, something ancient and primal and blissful, to bloom in Aziraphale’s soul.

There’s a chime and a displacement of space that would seem odd to anyone who wasn’t ethereal, and a pair of black wings are wrapped around the two of them. They’re warm, intensely warm, in a way that isn’t physical.

“And this? How’s this?” Crowley murmurs. He’s got a hand resting in Aziraphale’s hair, and it is delightful to find another new sensation to enjoy after so long here on Earth.

“Splendid. Although…” As much as Aziraphale is experiencing a greater euphoria than he’s felt in all his millennia of existence, there is something a tad unfinished about the situation...

Ah, yes. Aziraphale takes his wings out, too. He casts a hinting look, and Crowley readjusts so he can be embraced by them as well. Aziraphale makes a point of holding him tightly with arms and wings alike, pulling him in as if they’re outside in the slushy mess and only Aziraphale’s heart can shelter Crowley from it.

There. Crowley’s wings may still be overlapping his, cocooning them on the outside, but at least he’s covered by Aziraphale on the inside. And Aziraphale threads his fingers in Crowley’s hair, too, because the reciprocity seems nice, and oh, he’s rather soft, isn’t he?

“You’re here,” Aziraphale says. “You’re here, and...you’re alright?”

“‘Course I am,” Crowley says, voice catching. “What else would I be?”

Aziraphale closes his eyes, allowing a familiar pain to surface at last, and presses his face into the crook of Crowley’s neck. “I’m supposed to be a being of belief...and I never believed this could happen. I never thought we could be allowed such a thing.”

Crowley caresses Aziraphale on his back, where his wing joins his corporation, and his head. His touch soothes the ache, as if the nightmare had reopened a gash on Aziraphale’s heart and Crowley has the balm for it. (Of course he does. Crowley has always been a salve.) “What thing? This?”

“Yes. Do you know...I’ve frightened myself with how badly I want you.”

“You’ve got me, angel.”

Aziraphale, who realizes he can be oblivious but is definitely not stupid, has known this for a long time. But it wasn’t always the same; he hadn’t known he could save Crowley. He’d only known that if the two of them got this close before, he’d never be able to stop, and they’d be found, and they’d be wrenched apart, and they’d be destroyed. He catches himself trembling with how badly he wants to never, ever let that happen.

“It’s alright, Aziraphale. I’ve got you.”

“The dream. It felt a bit like Heaven reaching down and trying to take you away.”

“They’re not going to,” Crowley says fiercely. “And neither will Hell. We’ll see to it.”

Aziraphale, emboldened by Crowley’s unflinching acceptance, leans up and plants a kiss on his cheek. He waits, eyebrows raised, for a sign of approval. Crowley snorts in that affectionate, indulgent way of his, and returns the favor, this time on Aziraphale’s temple.

“Thank you,” Aziraphale says. “May I try something else?”

“Please do.”

And their lips meet, a brush of tenderness. Aziraphale isn’t very experienced with this. He tries it a few more times and worries it will get boring, but all seems to be going well, as he draws a pleased hum from Crowley with every kiss. After the constant dance at arm’s length, the pushing-away and the guarded stances, he needs multiple chances with this moment. He suspects Crowley does, too.

There is no equivalent to this behavior in Heaven or Hell; it’s quite remarkable, though, how intense and delicate it can be at the same time, pressing together these soft parts of their bodies that have expressed so much and yet have never been allowed to touch before. The heat of a kiss, Aziraphale discovers, is like the heat of their wings: not entirely physical.

“Lovely,” he murmurs. “But do you mind staying like this for...a while?”

“Not at all,” Crowley says.

“I don’t think I want to sleep.”

“You don’t have to,” Crowley says. “Sometimes the part when you’re lazing about in comfortable clothes is more fun, anyway.”

And so they remain, a pair of Earth-touched eternals swathed in their own black and white wings, curling into each other among the comfortable clutter of a dimly-lit bookshop, a heart of warmth on a slushy London night.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #ineffable partners #ineffable spouses #good omens fanfiction

[quarantineroulette]

Minor Disappointments’ 10 Least Disappointing Releases of 2019

I wasn’t going to compile a 2019 year-end list for a number of reasons (lack of time to listen to new music, general malaise, little time to write), but I’ve read so much bad end of year music writing that I feel like I must either stoke the embers or assist in extinguishing it. I don’t think I’m doing either here, but everyone likes list so here’s another.

I haven’t had time to really think about 2019 in songs but my favorite this year was, no kidding, a Tindersticks song featuring Robert Pattinson. Speaking of...

10) FKA twigs - Magdalene

  I really wish I hadn’t remembered that Pattinson and twigs dated because it put a slight damper on my enjoyment of this album. Instead of appreciating it in all its genre-destroying glory, as I did on my first listen, subsequent spins led to me becoming sidetracked by tabloid speculation over what RPattz must have done to have wronged this very singular artist. So, whether this is your first listen or 50th, forget all that I just wrote and instead let twigs fill your empty mind with her sometimes delicate, sometimes Kate Bush-evoking, wholly epic songs.

Favorite moment: It’s pretty commendable and bold to place the lead single as the closing track, especially if its something as monumentally gut-wrenching as “Cellophane.” Also, that video is the visual treasure everyone says it is, no fooling. 

9) Weyes Blood - Titanic Rising

If you’ve ever heard Karen Carpenter’s Beatles covers you might have some idea as to what this record is like. But beyond Natalie Mering’s cozy vocals and timeless compositions is an undercurrent of ambient mystery that sets everything ever so slightly askew. At times, Laurel Canyon vibes are completely dispelled for more crepuscular textures, as in the album’s centerpiece, the Julee Cruise-esque “Movies.” Who knows where Mering will go next, but her path, whether from the California sun or glow of the silver screen, is certainly bright. 

Favorite moment:  “A Lot’s Gonna Change”, “Andromeda”, “Everyday” - as strong of a three song run as on any release this year. 

8) Angel Olsen - All Mirrors

The cynic in me wanted to resist this album, but as soon as the cinematic strings kicked in on “Lark” I decided the enormous amount of critical hyperbole that was being thrown at it was mostly warranted. Stately, dramatic, occasionally synthy and largely devastating, All Mirrors taught me that sometimes you may find many of your favorite things in the unlikeliest of places. Please insure your heartstrings. 

Favorite moment: “Spring” which, like a lot of great songs, sounds a little like a fairground ride breaking down. 

7) Danny Brown - uknowhatimsayin¿

This might be the funnest album I’ve listened to all year. It can be hard to do positive but “Best Life” is as heartening as Nardwuar’s interview with Brown and fewer things are happier than that. With his fifth album, Brown has proven he can ably do every mood with aplomb. And if using cleaning references as euphemisms is your poison, then, hell, he can do that too. 

Favorite moment: “Hoes on my dick ‘cos I look like Roy Orbison.” Need I say more?

6) Omni - Networker

One of the strongest post-to-the-nth-degree-punk bands from the latter 2010s, I still have Omni’s 2016 debut, Deluxe, on heavy rotation. Networker, the trio’s third record and first on Sub Pop, has no shortage of twists, turns, technical dexterity, quirk and compositional audacity. Looks like I’ll be overplaying this one too. 

Favorite moment: I could listen to “Courtesy Call” over a hundred times and I still wouldn’t be able to guess what direction it’s going to go in. 

5) Aldous Harding - Designer

 Of all the artists on this list, I find Harding the most inspiring in both her songwriting and her performing style, which is arresting to say the least. The songs on Designer are paradoxically accessible and impenetrable, with seemingly breezy songs like “Weight of the Planets” leaving you with a feeling that’s a cross between a “wow!” and a “huh?”(perhaps a bit like this). Most impressive of all, Harding draws to mind such greats as Nick Drake, Syd Barrett and Nico while always sounding completely like herself. I honestly don’t know what layer of reality Harding is from, but we should all be thankful she’s residing in ours for the time being. 

Favorite moment: “The Barrel” had been in my YouTube queue for ages; after finally watched it I was left confused, mildly disturbed, amused and completely beguiled. This kookily hatted lady is just semi-dancing in a heavily-draped room for nearly five minutes and it’s the most fascinating video in years. If the video wasn’t entertaining enough, it also happens to have one of the funniest and sweetest comment threads on YouTube. Oh yeah, and the song is brilliant. 

4) Deerhunter - Why Hasn’t Everything Already Disappeared?

Deerhunter have really only misstepped once for me and that was with 2015′s Fading Frontier. Seeing as this is the band’s first full length since then, I had quite a bit of trepidation going in. Of course, a lot can happen in four years and Why Hasn’t Everything... is a thankfully thrilling addition to the band’s canon. Whether it be Cate Le Bon’s production, Bradford’s growing ease as a performer and eccentric, Lockett’s unexpectedly Low-esque "Tarnung,” or all of the above, this may well be Deerhunter’s most consistent release since Halcyon Digest. I’m even slightly tempted to say it’s better than it, but the sacrilege is too great.

Favorite moment: “What Happens to People” -- totally unique to the Deerhunter canon and already a classic. 

3) Lana Del Rey - Norman Fucking Rockwell!!

I never thought I could ever love an album with a Sublime cover on it, but here we are. In all fairness, the inclusion of “Doin’ Time” matters little when the originals on this treatise on Americana is so glorious.  Between the torchiness and the LA-specific witchiness of songs like “Bartender”, there’s not much on here that I’m able to resist. There may still be haters but “The Greatest” drowns them out a little more with each play.  Favorite Moment: “And we were so obsessed with writing the next best American record” - yeah, thank you for doing that.  2) Karen O & Danger Mouse - Lux Prima Truth be told, the first time I listened to this record I cried when it ended because I didn’t want to leave its world. There may have been more radical records by newer artists in 2019, but hearing Karen O doing what she does best, as well as trying many new things, was such a joy to me. I’m probably among only a handful of people who wanted to hear Karen do a straight up disco song in 2019, but we got it and it’s something to be treasured for years to come. To paraphrase Sparks + Franz Ferdinand, collaborations don’t (often) work, but thanks to O’s flawless vocals and Brian Burton’s sometimes Dave Fridmann-esque production, this one is an exception.  Favorite Moment:  I’m tempted to say the whole thing, but “Turn the Light” and “Redeemer” are maybe two of the biggest surprises on an album of many. 

1) Purple Mountains - Purple Mountains 

Purple Mountains is quite possibly a new touchstone in gallows humor. Given David Berman’s suicide less than a month after the record’s release, what should now be a grim and discomfiting listen is so mordant and wry that it somehow overpowers its bleakness. More striking than perhaps even the moments of humor is the album’s tenderness, so beautifully represented in songs like “Snow is Falling in Manhattan” and “I Loved Being My Mother’s Son.” Although it’s undeniably tragic that there will be no more words from Berman, the ones he’s left us with will fascinate and move us for decades to come. 

Favorite Moment: Unsurprisingly, Berman’s lyrical dexterity on this album is beyond measure. From the internal and slant rhymes in a line like “see the plod of the flawed individual looking for a nod from God” to the layers of meaning in “the light of my life is going out tonight”, the wordsmithery here is mesmerizing. If I had the time, I would gladly write an essay on how Berman used color to further emphasize a point. Thanks for the music, David, but thanks especially for the words. 

#best of 2019

[idristardis]

NCIS: New Orleans - Thoughts on S5 Thus Far....

So, I’ve been juuuuust a bit behind on several of my regular TV shows this year...including, well, pretty much everything. I’m still working my way through NCIS: LA, but it’s going at a slower pace because I’m trying to write at least a brief recap of every episode for that as I watch, and because I’m also further behind with that show to start with...but I actually managed to catch up on all of the current season of NCIS: NOLA over the last couple of weeks. (That was 19 episodes in about 14 days, if you’re counting...).

Though I’d gathered from spoilers prior to watching any episodes that Pride had made a miraculous recovery from his S4-ending shooting, I hadn’t heard much else, so I was able to approach the season with a pretty open mind. It’s not a completely comprehensive hashing through, but some Scratch that...this got long. A lot of my thoughts are below the cut....

The Good

-The shift for Pride to Belle Chasse and the regional SAC position. It’s the kind of change shows like this often tease having their lead actor make, and then don’t follow through on...kudos to NOLA for actually having him do it. (Though, they do seem find the flimsiest of reasons some weeks to bring him back to the team’s regular HQ). It makes sense that in the wake of his shooting he’d at least attempt to find something more stable - also it was great that they didn’t have him immediately win everybody in his new office over to his methods with a grin and some kouign amann. The change of pace, and the chance to grow into a new role, is actually good for him.

-The episode Tick Tock was incredibly strong from start to finish. Tight, suspenseful storytelling with an ending that was only just a bit predictable - but still pretty effective and emotional for all that.

-Jimmy - In the Blood, the episode where he was introduced, was solid, and I really like that they’ve kept him around.

-Hannah - the actress is a really great addition to the show, and I like that they’ve given her character a bit of a complicated history. They’ve developed it pretty thoroughly too and it’s refreshing that they have her and her husband really struggling with how their marriage works in light of the dangers of her career. It would have been simpler (perhaps) for the show to have them make a clean break, at least after Victor Zelko was dealt with - but it feels more real, and more interesting, that they are continuing to try to work things out.

-Rufus Nero - a delightfully aggravating match for Doc Wade. Whether he becomes a love interest or not, it would be great to have him recur - LeVar Burton is always wonderful and he made a great sparring partner for Loretta. The episode that introduced him, X, was also really strong and well-paced.

-Sebastian has proved to be surprisingly resourceful this season and has really developed as an agent. From cozying up to spies to translating rich-kid speak for Gregorio and geeking out with Oliver Crane - not to mention buying a house! - it’s been a good season for him so far.

-Isler! I had the epiphany that it would be him tailing Pride just a few seconds before he showed his face. I hope we’ll see more of him by the end of the season - and I’m sure with his tie-in to the Apollion plot, that we will - but it’s great that they brought him back now.

The Not So Good

-It would be great if they found more of a use for Jimmy plot-wise, other than just turning the Tru Tone into the place to be any night of the week. There is potential in his relationship to Pride and their respective memories of Cassius that has yet to be tapped. They got into it a bit shortly after they introduced the character, but then it was buried and hasn’t really come up again. Jimmy seems to have accepted a lot of things that bothered him earlier, and Pride had some things it seemed he wanted to say to Jimmy as well...and I would’ve liked to see some on-screen resolution of all of that.

-Kinda regret that they killed Cassius off. He spent so many of his other appearances on the show incarcerated that it seemed like the chance to do some really interesting things with him now that he was out and that Jimmy was in the picture was wasted. I mean, when you have Stacy Keach, you should really make the most of him!

-Avner - his motives in Survivor were shoved into the narrative out of nowhere, and that uninvited shoulder rub he gave Hannah in the episode’s flashback was a bit creepy. She certainly didn’t seem to welcome it, and it made me wonder if we were meant to think there was more to their relationship than just the collegial - or if Avner only wished there were.

-The Gregorio and Sebastian as roomies thing. Not sure it really develops either character in any way, and was only mentioned once for humor after they started living together and then has been largely dropped.

-Gregorio in general just feels like she’s “idling” a bit this season. Other than Desperate Navy Wives she hasn’t really been the anchor of any episode so far, and we haven’t seen much non-work life development for her in quite awhile. She deserves better!

-The episode set in the tiny town of Bovis - that the entire town would be in on that meth operation seemed like just a biiiiiit of a stretch.

The Puzzling And/Or Meh

-LaSalle has been a bit of an “idler” this season too...but the one centric episode he had, where he was trying to clear up his father’s tax issues, brought in a character (the accountant for his father’s company) that I thought we’d see/hear more of, probably as a love interest for LaSalle, but she’s disappeared. Why not weave her in more? (I’m not saying I want the show to replace Percy as his love interest...but if they’re going to tease this other character, why not follow through?).

-The Patton-centric felt a bit flat to me this season, probably because they spent so much time that episode with that NOPD cop. I thought that actor overplayed that role quite a bit - everything was too hammed up.

-Sutter/The Angel - started off as a cool concept, got ragingly irritating after awhile (since the audience could just tell that Pride was never going to take her hand), but then became heartbreaking when it turned out that she was sticking around for Cassius after all. Can’t really figure out what I feel about her in the end.

-The woeful underuse of the terrific Reggie Lee as ASAC Thompson - I’ve loved his work since he was the snarky, Sergeant Wu on Grimm. He’s barely been a presence, and didn’t have much to do other than scold pride when he has been around. The fact that the Apollion mission file was found in his office makes me think that there might be something we haven’t yet unraveled about Thompson and his connection to all of that...but we’ll see!!

The Upshot

-Most things have been good this season: additions of new lead, secondary, and guest characters (Hannah, Jimmy, Rufus, etc) who are interesting; old connections resurfacing for good or dubious purposes (Oliver Crane, Isler, this coming week, Elvis Bertrand); personal/life growth for Pride, and, to a lesser extent, Sebastian.

-But...though I think it was a good (and totally understandable) move for the character given the trauma he endured at the end of S4...moving Pride to Belle Chasse and into the SAC position has fundamentally changed the nature of the show. The past seasons have thrived on the tension between Pride’s out-of-the-box leadership style and his team’s varying levels of willingness to go along with his ideas (LaSalle usually was on board, Percy often questioned him, and Gregorio could go either way), as well as how all of that clashed with the much more straitlaced, protocol-driven directives out of Washington.

That kind of thing couldn’t go on forever, or every season would hinge on the same type of major conflict (i.e. Pride-vs-team, and Pride-and-team-vs-DC) and get repetitive...but remove Pride from the day to day life of the squad, and give him a position of much greater authority, and it makes it less necessary for the team to question him or disagree with him and less probable that they will. He’s no longer their direct boss - they’re having those conversations where everyone’s arguing their points on a more equal footing with Hannah (and several episodes have shown Pride looking thoughtful over having been displaced from this and other aspects of the team’s life). They then look to him for support or a new bit of perspective, but he’s less likely to be the source of conflict with the team. (Side note: he comes to the squad more than any other SAC we’ve ever seen...have we even seen another SAC on the show? But where that type of character would usually be an opponent, he’s usually there as a supportive force, meaning no/little conflict).

He’s also less likely to be the source of conflict with the DC brass - though he doesn’t fully conform to Belle Chasse’s expected norms, he is on their management-level team now...and it has only made sense for him to adapt to that role and get better at it, meaning that the more he fits in, the less there is to mine for conflict in the dynamic with DC. It’s realistic, but it minimizes the potential for drama.

It’s all good development for the characters - and exactly what they should be doing. Growing, evolving, expanding...but while it’s felt like a season of personal, individual growth for Pride, Khoury, and Sebastian...as a team, it feels like they’re in sort of a holding pattern...and Gregorio and LaSalle (and to some extent Patton and Wade) feel like they’re not really moving forward at all. I don’t know what I’d do differently...just that for all the good that the new structure with Pride in Belle Chasse has brought, it has leeched some of the dramatic tension out of the squad room.

What I’d Hope To See

-Further exploration of Pride and Jimmy’s dynamic and their respective histories with Cassius.

-A satisfying end to the Appollion storyline.

-Some meaty, fully fleshed out development for LaSalle and Gregorio (as individuals and/or as friends) outside of the casework.

-More Jimmy, more Rufus, perhaps a bit more of Sebastian’s spy flame Carmen.

-Definitive progress between Hannah and her husband.

-A new love interest for Gregorio (and/or some more non-work friends...she could actually reconnect with some of those ladies from Desperate Navy Wives).

-A season ender with a satisfying cliffhanger that doesn’t involve Pride’s life hanging in the balance.

What I know I Won’t See, But Can’t Help But Hope For

-A guest spot for Shalita Grant (I miss Percy - and PerSalle - so much!!)

#ncis: new orleans #ncis: nola #S5 recap #metaaa #my thoughts #are long and rambly #and possibly nobody's interested #but i had a lot of them and had to get them out

[johnnymundano]

Four Flies on Grey Velvet (1971) (AKA 4 mosche di velluto grigio)

Directed by Dario Argento

Screenplay by Dario Argento

Story by Dario Argento and Luigi Cozzi

Music by Ennio Morricone

Country: Italy

Running Time: 104 minutes

CAST

Michael Brandon as Roberto Tobias

Mimsy Farmer as Nina Tobias

Jean-Pierre Marielle as Gianni Arrosio

Bud Spencer as Godfrey

Aldo Bufi Landi as Pathologist

Calisto Calisti as Carlo Marosi

Marisa Fabbri as Amelia, the Maid

Oreste Lionello as The Professor

Fabrizio Moroni as Mirko

Corrado Olmi as Porter

Stefano Satta Flores as Andrea

Laura Troschel as Maria

Francine Racette as Dalia

Four Flies on Grey Velvet is considered by the chalk-and-elbow-patches crowd to be the third movie in Argento’s Animal Trilogy, which is a bullshit after-the-fact attempt to thematically tether The Bird With The Crystal Plumage (1970), Cat O’Nine Tails (1971) and Four Flies on Grey Velvet together. Is a fly an animal? No. Is there a cat in Cat O’Nine Tails? I can’t remember, actually, there might be; Italians love them some cats. Anyway, a cat o’nine tails isn’t actually a cat. More importantly Four Flies on Grey Velvet was intended to be Argento’s sayonara to the giallo. His next movie was The Five Days (1973) a comedy-drama set during the anti-Austrian revolt of 1848. Unluckily for Argento it bombed, luckily for Argento and the world of cinema he would then make Deep Red (1975). As a movie four Flies on Grey Velvet is very uneven and not a little ridiculous, but taken as a giallo, it’s the real deal. Ultimately, though, its greatest value is as an artistic step on the way to Argento’s masterpiece, Deep Red.  

Dario Argento is by no means the greatest director ever, he is, however, arguably the greatest giallo director ever. And as arguments go it’s a short one: it’s either Argento or Mario Bava. But no matter who you personally adore, Argento is very much at the top of the heap and any of his giallo up to (and including) Opera (1987) are among the very best the genre can offer. Obviously this includes Four Flies on Grey Velvet , but equally obviously his best movies are still giallo, possibly more giallo than most. Argento’s movies are not venerated because they are great movies, they are venerated because they are great giallo. Although with Four Flies on Grey Velvet you can expect one of the greatest giallo ever, you should not confuse that with expecting a great movie; certainly not one of the greatest ever. Just trying to manage expectations for giallo newbies. Look, Four Flies on Grey Velvet is an amazingly entertaining, visually inventive and thoroughly bizarre time, flaws and all.

Big-haired rock drummer Roberto Tobias (Michael Brandon) is persistently stalked by a creepy dude in sunglasses. One night after laying down some sweet beats in rehearsal, Roberto snaps and tracks the dude to a deserted theatre where a violent confrontation occurs; there is a scuffle, a knife is drawn, and when the kerfuffle is over Roberto is stood over a body. A spotlight snaps on and a figure wearing a freakily vacuous mask captures Roberto’s compromised form on film. Unsettled by the incident, at night Roberto dreams of a ritual beheading in an arena while during the day his already strained relationship with his wife, Nina (Mimsy Farmer), erodes further. When Roberto is attacked in his own home by a mysterious assailant he confides in Nina and, unable to go to the police due to his accidental murdering, enlists the help of his friend Godfrey (Bud Spencer) and The Professor (Oreste Lionello), both of whom are weird hobo types, for reasons known only to Dario Argento. Things get (more) complicated quickly with blackmail, a flamboyantly gay detective, adultery, stylish murders, a dead cat in a bag, a machine that can photograph the last thing a dead person saw, Ennio Morricone’s syrupy score, and a cumulative air of feverish irrationality as Roberto attempts to unmask his tormentor before death silences his cymbals forever.

Roberto’s cymbals are a crucial element in Four Flies on Grey Velvet’s incredible opening; it’s a full frontal assault on cinematic complacency, a dynamic reminder that when it comes to giallo Argento is simply on a different level. It’s one of the most thrilling pieces of cinema I’ve sat through; I hope it is taught in ivied halls of learning; it should be. An incredible amount of information is thrown into the viewer’s face, so much so that in any other hands it would just be a perplexing mess. But these aren’t just anyone’s hands, these are Dario Argento’s hands and so pin sharp editing, meticulous pacing, visual rhythm and a sly wit carry the day. Any viewer who fails to be enraptured by Argento’s showmanship in this opening hasn’t got a chance with the rest of the movie. Because, unfortunately, Four Flies on Grey Velvet never gets that good again. But a lot of movies never get anywhere near that good, and a lot of directors can only dream of being that good, so let’s not get too rainy faced about it.

Any tears on offer should be shed over my being an idiot, spending the last few decades reading about this movie and thinking “Michael Brandon” was just another screen name designed to fool American punters. You know, like George Hilton (Jorge Hill Acosta y Lara) or, more pertinently here, Bud Spencer (Carlo Pedersoli). But no, it is indeed Michael Brandon (Michael Brandon), a familiar sight on TV during my youth in “Dempsey and Makepeace” (1985-86). And he’s very good in Four Flies on Grey Velvet, being curiously detached in a wholly suitable fashion for the peculiar cinematic confection he inhabits. “Dempsey and Makepeace” was shit, though. Mimsy Farmer has a good time, delivering the acting goods and, unknowingly, limbering up for her headlining triumph in The Perfume of the Lady in Black (1974). Even though I found the humour as funny as bad news from the doctor, Bud Spencer proves to be a ridiculously affable screen presence, if perhaps a bit too “normal” for the folderol unfolding around him. Thankfully, Jean-Pierre Marielle is great as the gay detective, Gianni Arrosio. Usually a gay character in a giallo is where you have to grit your teeth and mumble something like “Um, that’s sure not aged well. Cough!” But, while slightly overplaying the falsetto, Marielle presents a gay character who is funny, fearless and, alas, just a bit too smart for his own good in the end.

Like any Argento movie, Four Flies on Grey Velvet isn’t perfect, but it is perfect in parts. Argento isn’t interested in every scene, so the movie kind of flops bonelessly in-between set pieces. There are a few too many party scenes involving hirsute men telling creepy jokes, and the unfunny comedy hobos seem to have stumbled blithely in from some other movie (a Bud Spencer movie, naturally enough). If it weren’t for the intrinsic entertainment value of the 1970s,  via its preposterous clothes and spirited hair stylings, a lot of the movie would fall a lot flatter. As L. P. Hartley didn’t say: The past is another country, they look like children’s entertainers there. And there aren’t really that many set pieces, or there are a lot of really small set pieces; Argento seems to take a disproportionate amount of pleasure in trying to find the most stylish way to shoot the most innocuous of actions. Which is nice and very entertaining, but you wish he’d expended as much artistic energy on some of the dialogue scenes as he does on a letter being received. Argento has his own artistic priorities which viewers are not privy to, and which seem shaped by his own idiosyncrasies rather than the needs of the movie as a cohesive narrative. He’s all over the place, basically. But when he’s on, well then, bang a gong. And Argento’s on far more than he isn’t. When he is good he is very, very good and when he isn’t you’re not too bothered because in a minute or so he’ll be very, very good again. You can’t get more giallo than that.

A note on the print: Four Flies on Grey Velvet is the least familiar Argento giallo to me as it was “lost” for a while prior to 2009, but it is now freely available. I watched the Shameless UK Blu-Ray of Four Flies on Grey Velvet. This is a gussied up print which looks a little soft, but pretty great. You can see just how much work has been done by choosing to view the version with the “missing 40 seconds” included. These 40 seconds are untouched and are…horrible. So horrible I guess they can’t be salvaged. Luckily they are also pretty trivial, so you can watch the version of the movie which excludes them and enjoy a lovely picture, secure in the knowledge that you’re missing nothing. Well, missing nothing except evidence of the astonishing job Shameless’ technical homunculi have  done. [Ticker tape parade erupts out of a side-street!]

#four flies on grey velvet #movies #horror #giallo #dario argento #4 mosche di velluto grigio #italy #the 1970s #1971 #michael brandon #mimsy farmer #bud spencer #jean-pierre marielle #ennio morricone

[junker-town]

Pascal Siakam is taking his oddball game to superstar levels

Pascal Siakam is becoming a superstar for the Raptors.

The Raptors star is staying weird while adding new elements to his game without Kawhi Leonard.

Pascal Siakam famously refuses to set goals for himself. As he explained in an interview with The Athletic last January: “Most of the time when I don’t set goals, I always exceed whatever goal people have.”

This mantra got him to the NBA despite only learning the game at 16, arriving in the United States two years later, and toiling off the grid at New Mexico State. It allowed him to rise from a (brief) G League assignment his second year to a max-contract player after his third. Now, it’s fueling his emergence as an all-NBA-caliber performer for a Raptors team hovering near the top of the East standings even after losing Kawhi Leonard in free agency.

Siakam’s outputs make him look like a completely different player this season. He’s averaging 26 points per game on above-average scoring efficiency while using more than 30 percent of his team’s possessions, an increase of nearly 10 percent over last season. He’s taking and making countless off-the-dribble shots from both two- and three-point range, which we barely saw last year. Less than half of his points are assisted, compared to more than 57 percent last year. He’d never try shots like these in years past, much less make them.

Indeed, the off-the-dribble jumper that every great perimeter player needs is starting to appear this season. Siakam certainly hasn’t mastered this shot yet — he’s making just 30 percent on pull-up shots as of Nov. 12 — but the ones he had made have come in bunches.

Better yet, Siakam willingness to take those tougher pull-up shots have allowed the Raptors to scale up two of his pet plays: a pick-and-roll with the point guard screening, and a dribble hand-offs with him attacking downhill from the top of the key. In the past, opponents neutralized Siakam’s inverted pick-and-roll by having the guard defender jump out for a quick hedge before running back to his man.

That no longer works as well because Siakam is willing to pull the trigger from downtown before his own man recovers.

Those speed dribble hand-offs have also become more dangerous because of Siakam’s willingness to shoot. It’s not enough anymore for Siakam’s defender to duck behind the handoff screen and meet him in the lane. He has to worry about this, too.

Siakam attempting these shot instead of driving is clearly a win for the defense. Adding them to his diet has made him less efficient overall than last year.

But taking them allows Siakam to absorb increased offensive responsibility without losing any fundamental elements of his crafty game. He’s still getting to the basket despite having to create more offense himself, and he still roasts like-sized and smaller defenders in the post despite not having Leonard and floor-spacer extraordinaire Danny Green around to suck the help away. (It’s telling that his turnover percentage is down this year despite his increased usage.)

Even beyond shooting, Siakam has added more elements to his diverse P-Skills set to throw defenders off-balanced. Last year, he was much more right-hand dominant on his drives. Smart teams could overplay him that way, catch his devastating spin move, and make him take tougher hooks. But this season, he’s as likely to attack hard to his left, whether to finish or set up a spin back to the right.

His post-up game, always a major strength, is even better this year. It’s hard to deny him the ball because he’ll always find a way to get back in front of his defender. (For a supposedly skinny guy, Siakam is really damn strong). Once there, he’s still as patient an operator as ever, leveraging the threat of his herky-jerky moves and rapid kickout passes to get the shot he wants.

And yet, the core ideas underpinning Siakam’s continued success haven’t changed at all. His game is still weird as shit, and he still uses those idiosyncratic tendencies to subvert defenders’ expectations and exploit them. The only difference now is that he has more tools at his disposal to throw opponents off, which makes him even more impossible to scout.

His success this year is a triumph of imagination, just as it was in the past. As long as he maintains that spirit, he’ll thrive in any role, no matter how big the target on his back is.

So let’s take a cue from his resistance to goal-setting and stop trying to define him by traditional means. The secret to his success is that he uses those faulty assumptions against his opponent.

PRESEASON QUESTIONS, ANSWERED

Before the season, I listed the 100 most interesting basketball-specific questions of the season. Each week, we’ll see if we have enough information to answer one of them.

QUESTION 64. Are the Magic putting too much faith in Jonathan Isaac?

In retrospect, I had this question all wrong. The more I watch Steve Clifford’s Magic, the more I wish they’d put more faith in Jonathan Isaac. There’s a rare, high-level player in there, but I fear they’re flattening him into a far more conventional one.

Perhaps I doth protest too much. Isaac’s getting more minutes, generating more shots around the basket, and continuing to improve his three-point proficiency. The Magic are 4.3 points better per 100 possessions better with him in the game and 10 points worse with him on the sidelines. He’s getting more of the tough defensive assignments and handling them brilliantly. Forget defensive potential. He’s one of the league’s best defenders today.

That clip is basketball porn. Not only did Isaac slide his feet through multiple Paul Millsap moves, but he somehow blocked Millsap’s shot after swinging and missing on a strip attempt. That reaction time seems utterly impossible.

And yet, I keep wanting to see the Magic fully unleash him, especially on offense. His usage rate is flat, and he’s actually been assisted on a higher percentage of his buckets this year than last. He has the athleticism and ball skills to embark on those full-court grab-and-go offensive runs, but rarely gets the chance to do so. Teammates miss him on cuts to the basket and still look away when he posts up a smaller defender.

Offensive rebounding and transition play are his biggest strengths, yet the Magic don’t take much advantage of either. Isaac’s offensive rebound rate has actually dropped this season, and it already was comically low given his skill set. (It’s hard to be a presence on the glass when spotted up along the three-point line). He nudges Orlando more into running territory than his even slower teammates, but the Magic still add the fourth fewest points via transition play in the league, according to Cleaning the Glass. When he tries to sprint the floor for something easy, it has the feel of a soldier going rogue.

I understand the reasons why Clifford and the Magic limit his role. His handle is still loose, and Clifford is famously averse to live-ball turnovers. Stretching Isaac’s responsibilities will come with short-term consequences, which is risky given all the other mouths Clifford has to feed. Plus, one could argue that Isaac has only improved to the degree he has because his role has been simplified.

But I’m also not here for a player with Isaac’s gifts and work ethic growing into a taller Marvin Williams. Whenever I see Isaac display brilliant playmaking chops like this on the secondary break, I want more.

Isaac might already be Orlando’s best player; if not, he’s certainly the best chance they have to develop a star. What would happen if Orlando really turned him loose, short-term results be damned? What if they developed him like Toronto developed Siakam from 2016 to 2019? What if they allowed him to make and play through mistakes, encouraged mad full-court dashes even if they ended in cringe-worthy fashion, and didn’t tie him down to a position — “conventional 2019 power forward,” in this case — even if it meant playing him more with reserves instead of other starters?

This isn’t to say Isaac will actually develop into a player of Siakam’s caliber. It’d be incredibly hypocritical to scold attempts to compare Siakam to anyone, yet also say Isaac will turn out just like him if given the chance.

But I’d love to at least find out what happens if the Magic nudge Isaac to be the best version of himself instead of the best version of the player Clifford’s rigid style requires him to be.

CLOSEOUT OF THE WEEK

Three-point shooting is essential, yet there’s no good stat that credits defenders for the essential act of preventing a three-pointer from being taken. We must reward these efforts.

This isn’t a single closeout per se, but it’s time to give Kemba Walker a shoutout for his defense. He’s small, so I understand why he has a poor defensive reputation. But he also has quick feet and terrific instincts, all of which he showed off in this play. Not only did he plug the middle brilliantly to stop dribble penetration, but he also stayed on balance to deflect Bryn Forbes’ kickout pass.

Boston’s defense has been an early-season surprise for me.

REBOUND JOUST OF THE WEEK

Last year, I wrote about the rising trend of teammates fighting each other for defensive rebounds. These moments usually end harmlessly, but occasionally, they can cost a team. Here’s to over-aggression!

Jaren Jackson Jr. has so much I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed energy here.

[thatz-not-okay]

Can I tell my 14-year-old neighbor to stop singing because she sucks?

My neighbor in the apartment unit next to mine has a young girl who loves to sing at the top of her lungs. Her room is adjacent to mine, but I can hear her throughout my whole apartment. Problem is she is absolutely horrible, and has kept her selection to just a few random very overplayed songs. It starts as early as 7:00 am on Saturdays, and goes past 10:00 pm on weeknights. I work and go to school full time and she wakes me up regularly. I've tried talking to her parents, but they're not around much and don't speak English. I've talked to my landlord but there's not much he can do because it's not his building. I don't want to call the police because she's just a kid. Only other option is walking over there and telling her myself to stop, which I feel at her age may be dream crushing and mildly traumatizing. Is that okay?

Thatz okay.

You can ask her to cut down on the singing without telling her she is a no-talent hack with humdrum song selection.

Why are you so afraid of this 14-year-old girl?

The number of people to whom you have either directly appealed or considered involving at this stage is staggering. Good move thus far resisting the temptation to call the cops on your lonely 14-year-old neighbor. ("Hello, police? We got a girl here singing Kelly Clarkson but without the undeniable talent and stage presence of Kelly Clarkson.") But why did you complain about the noise to your landlord if the noisy tenants reside in a different apartment unit? He's the landlord for your building, not the block RA. I can only assume you first took your issue you to the governor, who informed you it was not really his jurisdiction, and have been working your way down ever since. In a few more rungs (mayor, comptroller, junior city council member), you'll hit the lowest person on the ladder—the 14 year-old-girl herself. Then you can start making progress.

While it is impressive that a member of today's youth population is industrious enough to wake up at 7:00 a.m. on Saturday and greet the day with a song, keeping things quiet before 10 a.m. on a weekend is a pretty standard neighborly courtesy. Your first move should be to politely address the issue with the elusive chanteuse herself. (You're right that she might find this experience mildly traumatizing. Any interaction with you is likely to come off that way, because you sound a bit unhinged. But traumatic experiences teach us to avoid repeating certain behaviors.)

The next time an opportunity presents itself, pay her a visit. Say something like, "Hey, I live next door and I love your singing, but do you mind if we keep it between 10 and 7? These walls are pretty thin." Don't try to impress her by telling her you work and go to school full-time; if she's 14 years old, she probably goes to school full-time too. (Unless she dropped out to pursue a singing career in her apartment.) Don't critique her "random, overplayed" song selection; presumably your issue would not evaporate if she expanded her repertoire to include Smiths B-Sides. Don't tell her the truth about how much you hate her singing. It won't make you feel better.

This past Sunday, I was awoken at dawn by a young neighbor's performance of "Let It Go" from the 102-minute "Let It Go" commercial Frozen. At 4 years old, she hasn't yet grasped the difference between singing and reciting an uninflected selection of memorized words at maximum volume, so she opted for the latter. As a one-time thing, it was hilarious, but if commanding the block to "LET. IT. GO. LET. IT. GO," became a daily ritual, someone (a less heavy sleeper) might feel compelled to intervene. I hope they wouldn't lead off with "You know what you need to let go of, Zoë? YOUR BROADWAY DREAMS."

After you've made a good faith effort to resolve the issue politely, face-to-face, don't underestimate the power of a simple wall-knock. While, unfortunately, there is no way to make it sound anything but hostile (don't get cutesy by venturing into "Shave and a Haircut" territory unless you want to start a playful knocking club), this is probably the most immediately effective way to indicate a preference for a noise reduction in close quarters.

Above all, remember that a 14-year-old girl is probably more intimidated by you than you are by her. The meanest thing she can do to you is roll her eyes, sigh, and close the door without speaking.

I work at a small pizzeria where my shifts and work duties often coincide with those of this girl. I really like working/talking with her, but it seems that she wants to take things to the next level: yesterday she left a message for me at the cash register that said "ASK ME OUT ALREADY!" (I should note that the computer is set to use all-caps by default.) This would be great under different circumstances! There's only one problem: I like schlongs, not vajayjays. I want to deal with this in a way that doesn't hurt her feelings and preserves the great relationship we already have. My mom suggested that I meet up with her and explain to her that, regrettably, I am simply too busy with my various jobs and studies to engage myself in a relationship. But half-truths make me a little uncomfortable. I'm considering meeting up and telling her that I'm, you know, G-A-Y (though I have no idea how to go about broaching the subject), but that I'd love to hang out with her as friends only. Is that okay?

Thatz okay.

You know what other apparatus is set to use all-caps by default? This girl's heart.

Your coworker wasn't just leaving that message at the cash register for you. She was leaving it for the new friends you two would go on make at couples-only dinner parties; for the 80 or so tippled wedding guests who would chuckle merrily at her maid of honor's (deftly ghost-written) celebratory toast; for the daughter you two would raise, who one day would need to have her confidence boosted by an inspiring true anecdote about the rewards that can be reaped when you just put yourself out there.

She is living a romantic comedy in her mind. The problem is, she thinks she's in the middle of the movie—when the heroine captures her fella's heart with a bold, zany gesture—but, in fact, she's in the beginning—when the heroine makes a gay guy slightly uncomfortable by hitting on him big time, and then falls down.

It sounds like you guys have great chemistry and the potential for a close friendship. Maybe one day she'll find herself telling the story about the time she tried to pressure you into dating her at your wedding to the man of your dreams. (Maybe your new husband will sigh through a teeth-gritting smile. "Of course Kayla's speech is about Kayla." Maybe you will cover his hand with your hand and whisper "Hey, come on—it's just how she is. Relax. I love you.")

Any confident little crab who would take it upon herself to pepper a communal workspace with adorkable "KISS DE GIRL! :* " reminders will probably not be too shaken up by the fact a boy she liked is gay. Having a crush on a gay man is a rite of passage for young women. For this ballsy girl, asking out gay guys might even become a lifelong habit. You being gay is not an insult to her. (Though you should allow for a momentary disappointment when she learns you have no interest in becoming her boyfriend.)

Your mother should not be advising you to lie to this girl. This isn't an episode of Modern Family. It's a Domino's. If you follow your mom's advice and tell your friend you are too busy with "various jobs and studies" to date her, she will almost certainly know you are lying and, worse, she will assume you are lying because you don't want to date her. In fact, telling her you don't want to date her because you are gay is the kindest thing you could say to her. It removes all fault.

The one thing you shouldn't do is plan a dramatic meet-up where you will break the news. This would force her to become excited for a date that is, in fact, a one-on-one coming out party. (Leg shaving is the rare activity that manages to be both boring and dangerous. Don't make her do it for no reason.)

Instead, one day at work, casually mention that—apart from piping hot pizza pies just like Nonna used to make—you don't want what she's selling. The good thing about how things have shaken out so far is that you now have a chance to be playful back. Maybe leave your own note on the register: "I WOULD <3 2 BUT I'M GAY EXTRA BREADSTICKS."

Repeat the sweet things you said in your email about how you'd love to hang out with her as friends, but cut the terms "schlong" or "vajayjay," as their usage will only make everyone feel uncomfortable.

Do it ASAP before she becomes overwhelmed by the imagined sexual tension.

[violetbeachpod]

transcript: 11 - honeymoon phase

listen here

ROBIN:

Hey, everybody, uh. Robin here. Back at it again! Woo!

So. Personal updates. I got married. You were there, it was great, I have a wife now, it’s cool, it’s good. Uh. The cat is okay! He hurt his leg but he’s got a little cast, which is—very cute. It’s very cute and good and I want all of you to acknowledge that. I was away for a little bit, we went up to my dads’ place in Maine for the honeymoon, for, uh, isolation and distance from the weirder stuff in life, and what have you, so I haven’t actually listened to any of you folks’ tapes, except for, uh, Mae’s and Teresa’s? Sorry. Probably should’ve, uh. Done that. But I’m trying to maintain this good mood, and, uh, don’t wanna bum myself out. Not that you guys bum me out—you are. So wonderful. I care about you, I worry about you, but, uh. This whole—thing is scary as hell. Were that not clear.

But, I mean, I have updates. I don’t want to share them, because if my recollection is right, this is usually about when the happy lesbian starts dying, and, uh—that’s because of, like media traditions from the olden times, but, look, I don’t want to risk anything.  I’m sharing because I feel obligated to. So. Hi. It’s me.

This is our calm before the storm, I think. Which shouldn’t feel as comforting as it does--it is the security of a basement right before a hurricane. Before, see, because your basement doesn’t feel safe during the storm itself. It feels like you’re gonna die, you’re gonna die, you’re gonna die and flood and--

But beforehand, you’re going over every single disaster movie you’ve ever seen, every safety PSA from when you were a kid, and you feel secure. And there’s something to be said about the contrast of comfort and fear; that even the slightest illusion of comfort is bliss in comparison to terror.

But, look. Listen. Metaphors and similes aside, something is about to happen. We all know this. We’re seeing a dip down in Weird Shit T-M, but we’re on edge for a reason.

And I know this, because I got a message yesterday. An email. Not from—none of you would pull this, basically. I got an email, and the address was—blurred out. Like, I hovered and everything, and I just—couldn’t read it.

And it just said, uh. It literally said SOMETHING’S COMING, in all caps. I don’t know why it got sent to me, or anything, but, uh. That sort of proves that something is coming, right? Because, uh, it’s right there. All caps, bolded, italicized, underlined. Not struck through, so, bam, that—

Also, the text is in red, and there’s one of those email platform exclusive emojis of a sun wearing sunglasses. So. Summer? Is when things are coming? Maybe? Who’s to say.

It’s, what, April—twenty-second? Yeah. That’s today. April twenty-second, one-oh-seven PM. So. Summer starts on June twenty-something-th. The twenty-first? Or. Second. Whichever. So I think, like, that’s when it’s gonna hit the fan. Solstices, and all. They’re important. Symbolically, temporally, and hey, if we’re not judging things symbolically and temporally first, what have we been doing in these last five months?

Do people still say that? Shit hits the fan? I haven’t heard it in years, but, uh, I’m not really good at paying attention to that sort of thing. Which is bad, considering, but.

You know.

Here’s what I know.

Something’s coming. We don’t know when, but we have guesses. I’m—I’m.

I’m not sure what to think. I’m not—afraid, but I’m definitely not comforted, either. Maybe anxious is the best word, but it still feels off.

Concerned? No, too emotional.

But something’s coming, and it’s not gonna be good.

Also, the email’s subject was “Just Checking In!!!!!!!!!!!?” with, like, twelve exclamation points and then a question mark. So that’s why I clicked. I don’t think it’s spam.

Uh. Ran into an old friend the other day! Well. Middle school bully turned high school acquaintance. Johnny Parsons? He goes by Jack now, because he started to think that the Johnny Carson thing was annoying. Which it was. But. Whatever. I don’t know why I’m calling him a friend. He was kind of terrible to me, and, like, he stopped but never made the time to apologize, so. Whatever. We weren’t close, during high school, but he was slightly more decent.

But I ran into him the other day. He, uh, said he saw wedding photos online, and, uh, that he was happy for me. But something about his eyes were off. That’s why I mention this encounter with standard Straight White Dude number four-hundred and twenty—that wasn’t intended to—whatever, but—like, you know the type. When I ran into him, this man, who was wearing the whole salmon-shorts-blue-button-up-boat-shoes number, which I didn’t even know had found its way into this town, but he—halfway through our greetings, he just—

Left. He was gone. Like, his body was still there, but it’s like when we found Teresa. Like—

So, he was different, for a moment. Eyes all dilated, glassy. And then, he was back. Pupils back to normal in a flash—like, a literal flash. And the conversation continued, like it was nothing. He didn’t say anything of it, so I didn’t comment. Don’t want to drag in that dude to our weird mystery adventures.

It wasn’t zoning out, before you ask. It was—Look, I know zoning out. It’s—basically what I do, lately. He was totally focused, which was—weird, for him. We had, like, one bonding moment, in high school, and it was when we both just completely blanked on all of the instructions at our ACT prep class and we were assigned to be partners.

But he was focused, and then a flash, and he was out, and then another, and he was back in it.

Weird, right?

That’s the ending to everything any of us say to each other, now. Weird, right, weird, right, weird, right. Ugh! I’m so sick of it, it’s so overplayed. None of us even like overplayed. We all try and push ourselves away from overplayed. Hating cliche is the glue that holds this group together.

Like, we’re gonna argue about what’s weird. Like, okay, so, whatever, everything’s weird. Everything that has happened to us in the past four months is weird! It’s beyond weird, and I am so sick of using that adjective!

We need a better word! I am so sick of just using the word weird and expecting it to be effective.

Semantics are weird.

Right?

That was—I’m kinda proud of that joke. I liked it a lot. I came up with it on the spot, and—It’s genuinely fun. I think.

Here are some suggestions for better words than weird. I’m pullin’ up the old thesaurus in my brain that I used to write bad poetry in high school—I’ve become a bit more Hemingway-esque, since then, but, like, in the brevity way, rather than the sexism thing. But. Here is a list of words that are better than weird. I hope that, for future reference, we can stick to them:

Bizarre. Far-out. Bizarr-o. Freaky. Eerie. Fun and funky. Fresh garbage. As if from a dream. Supernatural. Off color. Eccentric. Offbeat. Outlandish.

Wild and crazy? Out of this world.

Out of this world.

Can we bring that one back? I like it. And I think it suits the situation at hand.

Christ, what am I even doing? I sound like some terrible English teacher. Eugh.

Said is dead, weird is—feared?

Not quite. Let’s check out that rhyming dictionary—

[beat]

Okay, so it’s either feared or disappeared. Neither of which are too exciting, which is a bummer, I think. If there’s no opportunity for a fun rhyming phrase, there’s no need for anything to happen. And that’s just the facts, there. I am a writer. I have a MFA. I know these things. I know them.

Oh. Wow. Cool. Time stopped again.

Sorry, just gotta add that in, so you know Because, hey, it’s still one-oh-seven PM. Love that. That one hasn’t happened in a little bit, for me. Dunno about y’all—again, I have not listened to your tapes, and again, I am genuinely sorry for that. I will when the world is, like, a little less terrible and overwhelming, and also, when I’m not receiving emails from alternative-universe-folks.

Unless you guys are receiving those emails too, and I’m missing that by not listening. I think that stuff goes into the group chat. I didn’t put it in there, though, so, uh. Who’s to say? Not me, certainly. Never me. I don’t know, uh. Anything. Ever. At all.

That’s the nature of humanity, or something like that. Was it Tolstoy who said that? Or Plato?

Ugh. I’ll google it later. It’s just--

Here’s what I know about the nature of humanity, which is just about as much as anybody else.

It’s good. I genuinely believe that. If it wasn’t good, inherently, I don’t know what I’d do with myself. I think I’d rot, wilt, shrivel up.

And I’m usually close to wilting, anyway. That heavy weight in my chest makes me feel like wilting.

[music kicks up--a simple beat, synths, drums, piano. at the end of the world, says a muffled vocalist, it’s just you and me. you and me.]

I gave Teresa a haircut last night at three A.M. She knocked on our door and told us that she needed it that moment. Elaine offered, but then I mentioned her junior year high school roommate, whose hair she dyed, and she shut up right there.

We listened to shitty lo-fi hip-hop and it felt right, somehow, that moment. I’ve been--

I’ve been so close to wilting, but in that moment, three-forty-seven A.M., my friend and my wife and her bad music and our cat and a pair of clippers--

In that moment, I think I grew. Not in a--huge, development sense. I didn’t change. I just felt good, y’know? I felt like, for once, the world was okay.

And the weight was gone.

My point is--

My point is that, we have to be good, in spite of the--my brain is saying weird, and I’m refusing it. To each other. I’m not saying we have to, like, elf-on-the-shelf it. That’s weird. We have to be kind--and not just to each other. To these new people too. To salmon-shorts Jack’s alternate universe self. To Mae. To--to everybody that’s new. This is terrifying for them. We have to--

We have to be kind, we have to make sure that they don’t shrivel up. Because there’s nothing worse than that.

I’m so afraid of shrivelling up.

So, so afraid of it.

Elaine helps. The cat helps. You guys--you all help. I think everybody needs that. I think all of you need that.

If we love each other, and we love everything that we can bring ourselves to love, I think we can overpower the weird--fuck!

Time is moving again. Sometimes, and here’s my theory, just my good ol’ idea: to get time moving again, you have to wax poetic for eight hours, cuz then time gets bored and wants to make that clear to you. If you are pretentious enough about love and life and all of the other big meaningful things that are out there, you can literally control time?

How metal is that?

Do teens still say metal? I am so, so tragically unhip. I hope they do. I like that as a descriptor. I don’t think it’s a good replacement for weird, but I think that we should use it more often.

Okay, okay, so, signing off--yeah, yeah, signing off. Gotta do that. We all do that. I just waxed poetic! I could have used that for signing off, but no. Ugh.

Here’s what comes next:

[static]

[confused]

Here’s what comes next:

[static]

[insistent]

Here’s what comes next.

We need to--

[and the static picks up: long, resonant]

#transcript #season 2 #robin

[martinfzimmerman]

States Consider Removing Income and Sales Taxes from the Monetary Metals

Listen to the Podcast Audio: Your browser does not support the podcast player element. DOWNLOAD MP3 Precious metals markets can certainly be volatile from week to week, but over time they are a more reliable store of value than Federal Reserve Notes. Gold and silver remain the world’s most enduring and most widely recognized form of money. And, as spelled out in the U.S. Constitution, gold and silver coins are legal tender. Individual states thus can formally recognize gold and silver coins as legal tender alternatives to Federal Reserve Note dollars.

Both Utah and Oklahoma have passed legal tender laws in recent years recognizing gold and silver as money. The metals can be used freely as a means of payment and are free from all state taxes. More than 20 states have already removed sales taxes from precious metals transactions, with Alabama, Tennessee, and Maine now considering their own proposals to do so as well.

Other states, including Arizona and Idaho, are moving forward on legislation to exempt gold and silver bullion from capital gains taxes. Since Money Metals Exchange is located in Idaho, we would be particularly excited to see it become a haven for sound money.

Last Thursday a bill to eliminate capital gains taxes on precious metals passed the Idaho House Committee on Revenue and Taxation. Money Metals President Stefan Gleason testified before the Committee. Here is some of what he had to say:

Stefan Gleason: Our mission is to educate people also about precious metals and help them diversify into this reliable and more stable form of money, really truly a Constitutional money with tremendous history going back to the founding of our country. Gold and silver have been chosen for thousands of years as money because of their qualities as financial insurance, as a store of value, and its practicality as a medium of exchange. The bill I want to talk about today is a straightforward bill. Basically, we don’t want to tax money in Idaho. Idaho already does not tax precious metals with its sales tax, and we’re asking for it to be removed from the calculation of income tax in Idaho.

The Founders of our nation dealt with the collapse of the un-backed continental dollar, and that was fresh in their minds when they created our monetary system and established gold and silver as our nation’s money. In fact, the dollar was defined as a fixed amount of silver, and even in the Constitution the Founders restricted states from making payment in anything other than gold and silver coins for payment of debt. For the first hundred years, our nation’s money gold and silver coinage maintained its purchasing power pretty much consistently, except for a small period of time during the Civil War when we went off the gold standard.

But then about 100 years ago the Federal Reserve was created, and since that time we’ve seen a dramatic decline in the purchasing power of what is now considered the dollar but really is called the Federal Reserve Note. Of course, the last link to gold was severed officially in 1971, and that has led to an acceleration of this devaluation in purchasing power and an explosion in federal government debt during that same period of time.

The people that are most harmed by inflation are wage earners and savers. When the dollar goes down in purchasing power, they lose. Fortunately, an increasing number of citizens are recognizing that owning gold and silver as an alternative form of savings is a good way of protecting some of their wealth, protecting some of their purchasing power, and standing against this ongoing devaluation. It’s also something that helps in periods of financial turmoil, which seem to be increasing under our current system. Gold and silver are a safe haven.

Under current law, however, when a taxpayer sells their precious metals, they may end up with a capital gain because it’s measured against the Federal Reserve Notes that they sell it for. Now it may not be a real gain. In most cases, it’s not a real gain. It’s a nominal gain. It’s an illusory gain. Yet it’s still something that triggers taxation at the federal level, and a taxpayer has to include that in their taxable income if they sold gold and silver bullion or coins.

It’s even taxed at a discriminatorily high 28% rate for long-term capital gains… It’s 15 and 20 for other types of assets. Then Idaho in the calculation of Idaho taxable income essentially carries forward that income number, and then there’s some adjustments that are made on various things according to Idaho statutes to arrive at the Idaho taxable income.

This legislation simply would back out the federal income or loss that somebody reports on precious metals out of their Idaho taxable income. This is something that Idaho can do. Obviously, we can’t mess with federal tax laws, but Idaho decides what it’s taxing as income, and we propose with this legislation that precious metals be removed, because it’s money.

Also, weighing in on behalf of Idaho’s bill to free precious metals from state taxation was an executive of a freedom minded group in the Gem State.

Fred Birnbaum: My name is Fred Birnbaum, with the Idaho Freedom Foundation and I’m here to speak in support of this bill. I’ll be very brief. I think Mr. Gleason covered just about everything. But I’ll make a parallel point. Recently, actually this week, there was a lot of debate about a constitutional amendment, article five convention. I’m not going to re-open that debate. But I think it’s relevant, to some extent, to this bill. I certainly don’t want to overplay that point. What came up and one of the central issues was the unbalanced federal budget, if you will.

And the fact that we’ve accumulated about 20 trillion of federal debt and I think sometimes it’s hard to think of the inflation that we currently have as inflation. It certainly varies. It hasn’t been very significant, say in gasoline. It is in property. But the potential for inflation is huge because the Federal Reserve has now issued about 4 trillion dollars of digital money into the economy. It’s pushed it since the recession. So, I think what this bill does, in many ways, is it’s a prospective measure in that those folks who either own gold or silver now or may in the future, if we do have a real bout of inflation, this will protect them from that.

One of the challenges in getting this and similar bills passed is educating legislators on why gold and silver, being constitutional money, are different from other asset classes. Some politicians just don’t grasp the fundamental distinction.

Committee Chairman: Questions for Mr. Gleason? Representative Gannon?

Rep. Gannon: Thank you Mr. Chairman. Sir, one question I always have asked of me is, if we pass a bill like this, is, well are we picking winners and losers? What about if I invest in a gold stock and I make money on my gold stock or what about oil companies? If we open up the door to one particular kind of investment for a tax break like this, how do I explain to constituents that their particular investments don’t get the same kind of tax break?

Committee Chairman: Mr. Gleason?

Mr. Gleason: Okay. Mr. Chairman. Representative Gannon. It’s a good question. The key distinguishing characteristic here is that gold and silver are money. They’re not a stock, they’re not a piece of property and when it comes to mining stocks and things like that, obviously, that’s not covered here.

We’re talking about taking away taxation on the exchange of one form of money with another. So, people are not unfortunately able to deduct the loss that they take when they have Federal Reserve Notes and they dramatically decline in their value. There is no deduction for that. The deduction is basically everyone is paying the inflation tax and they are not able to recoup that or protect themselves against that, so gold and silver is another alternative form of money. It’s actually much more stable and an historic form of money, and so that’s how I distinguish this. This is about sound money and preserving people’s savings and not giving any kind of special break for an investment class.

Fortunately, there are politicians who understand that not taxing money in any form is a matter of consistency. Idaho State Representative Ron Nate made a strong case for treating gold and silver the same as the Federal Reserve Note when it comes to taxation.

Rep. Nate: Thank you Mr. Chairman.

(I’m) in favor of the motion, this isn’t just an investment. This is a money. And so, Federal Reserve Notes are the nationally recognized money, but according to Article I, Section X of the Constitution, the only thing that the states can declare as money, we can’t coin our own money, the only thing we can use as money is we can declare silver and gold as money.

So, it’s the only real state money that we have control of. And if holding money becomes something that is subject to taxation, then we have – I think – a perverse incentive in our government here, that the money that they declare, that the government declares is legal tender suddenly becomes a tax instrument for them as well.

This makes sense for consistency. If gold and silver coin are money, then we should not tax it when it increases in value. If you argue that we should tax it when it increases in value, then you should also argue that Federal Reserve Notes, when they diminish in value because of inflation, we ought to be able to declare capital losses on those on our tax forms as well.

But because we don’t allow that, we shouldn’t be taxing either capital gains or losses on gold and silver coin. This is a matter of consistency with regards to currency and the tax treatment of it. Thank you.

We’ll certainly keep you updated on the progress of the Idaho bill as it makes its way through the legislative process. In the meantime, the Arizona legislature looks poised to send similar legislation to its governor’s desk.

On Wednesday, the Arizona Senate Finance Committee heard testimony from none other than former Congressman Ron Paul. Dr. Paul was the leading voice in the U.S. Congress for sound money issues during his tenure there. He turned the once obscure idea of auditing, reforming, and ultimately ending the Federal Reserve into a national campaign issue when he ran for President in 2008 and 2012.

Here’s some of what Ron Paul had to say this week in support of Arizona’s bill to eliminate taxes on gold and silver:

Dr. Ron Paul: It would be legalizing competition in a constitutional fashion. It isn’t like saying, “Okay, Arizona wants to print their paper currency again.” Because you’re not allowed to do that. On the monetary issues, the states are talked about in the constitution and they have restrictions, they can’t print money but they also have been told in The Constitution that they can only use gold and silver as legal tender. So, the responsibility is one the states to follow the rules and that meant nobody was supposed to use anything other than silver and gold as legal tender. We’ve had a mess, it’s gotten worse, it started in 1913, there was a climactic end in 1971 but the problems have continued.

If you look at some of the charts, things have been really rocky since ‘71, with the destruction of the value of the money. Since 1971, we’ve lost 95% of the value of the dollar. Believe me, the Gold Standard was invented a long, long time ago, from the beginning of recorded history. Five thousand years ago they used gold and silver, biblically gold and silver, real weights and measures, that’s what they count it by. So, this is not brand new, it’s the governments and the people who seek power are always undermining the restraints placed on governments by honest money. So, I congratulate you for hearing and dealing with this bill, because I think if you do pass this bill it will be a great step forward for a lot of people to understand the money issue and the freedom issue. Thank you very much.

Chairman: Thank you very much Dr. Paul.

If the bills in Arizona and Idaho become law, you can bet similar sound money efforts will spring up in other states. Of course, states won’t be able to abolish the discriminatory federal taxation of precious metals. But state level reforms will catch the attention of members of the U.S. Congress. Sound money victories at the state level will help build political momentum for sound money legislation at the federal level.

Groups such as the Sound Money Defense League are advancing the sound money movement by educating the public on the problems of our inflationary monetary system as well as working with allies in elective office to enact reforms. Setting gold and silver free as competing currencies to Federal Reserve Notes won’t be easy and it won’t happen overnight, but real progress can be made and is being made one step at a time.

Mike Gleason is a Director with Money Metals Exchange, a national precious metals dealer with over 50,000 customers. Gleason is a hard money advocate and a strong proponent of personal liberty, limited government and the Austrian School of Economics. A graduate of the University of Florida, Gleason has extensive experience in management, sales and logistics as well as precious metals investing. He also puts his longtime broadcasting background to good use, hosting a weekly precious metals podcast since 2011, a program listened to by tens of thousands each week.

The post States Consider Removing Income and Sales Taxes from the Monetary Metals appeared first on Gold Silver Worlds.

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Celtics vs. Bulls, the series where nothing makes sense

There’s always one inexplicable first round series. Meet Boston vs. Chicago 2017.

Take everything you thought you knew, crumple it up, throw it in the trashcan, and set it on fire. Behold the Celtics and the Bulls, a series between a one seed and an eight in which neither team can win on their home floor, not playing any point guards is a reasonable adjustment, and Paul Zipser and Terry Rozier are difference-makers.

This is a series where one can say with a straight face that an injury to Rajon Rondo changed its entire complexion. It’s a series where Gerald Green can start a must-win game. If we are living in basketball’s age of reason, this series has been a satire worthy of Swift. At the very least, it merited a profane Kevin Garnett testimonial delivered to the Celtics before Game 3.

The C’s certainly needed something to rouse them from their nightmare scenario that was punctuated by the ease in which the Bulls inflicted their damage on Boston’s psyche. Some of it was predictable, like the Bulls massive rebounding advantage, and some of it was completely unexpected.

Photo by Maddie Meyer/Getty Images

Role players like Zipser, Bobby Portis, and Nikola Mirotic became prime factors and Rondo returned from postseason exile to be one of the two best players in the series. The other had been Jimmy Butler, which only proved yet again that stars matter in the postseason and the Celtics are short of top-end talent.

If Game 1 was a disappointment, Game 2 was a slow motion embarrassment for the Celtics. Teams that let opening games slip away on their home court are supposed to come out with force. They are supposed to retake control of the series. The C’s did neither. They were scattered on offense and disconnected on defense. They griped with each other and hung their heads. It got so bad that Rondo suggested the Celtics had quit and Avery Bradley didn’t disagree.

Because this is Boston, the reaction was over the top, although not entirely unjustified. Brad Stevens is not on the hot seat and Danny Ainge will still be the decision-maker this summer.

Still, it was accurate to point out after Game 2 that Stevens had as many postseason wins as Fred Hoiberg. Just as it was totally fair to note that Ainge didn’t upgrade the roster at the trade deadline when the Cavs, Raptors, and Wizards all made moves to strengthen their teams. These are the kind of recriminations that come with a collapse as thorough as the Celtics had on Tuesday.

The players were not spared either. Al Horford was barely a factor on Tuesday. He later said that he waits for the game to come to him, which is not what you want to hear from you max free agent big man. Jae Crowder, Marcus Smart, and Bradley were not able to pick up the shooting slack from Isaiah Thomas, who flew home to Seattle after Game 2 to grieve with his family following the death of his sister the day before the series started.

Photo by Maddie Meyer/Getty Images

Thomas was tremendous in Game 1 and then clearly and understandably off his game on Tuesday. That made it very difficult for the Celtics to score and that’s the extent of the analysis here. We use sports as a window into the human condition, but there is no deeper meaning in a senseless tragedy.

Outside the Hub, Celtic schadenfreude was out in force. Draft picks and cap space are wonderful things to have, but they ain’t never scored a point in the playoffs. The future may sound lovely, but the present is tenuous and the present is everything in the postseason. Their lackluster performance reinforced all the negative perceptions associated with a team that has grasped at legitimacy even as it rose in the standings.

The Celtics may have been waiting to be exposed in the playoffs, but what made this so remarkable was that it was the freaking Chicago Bulls making them unravel. The same Bulls that spent a good part of the year bickering in public and private. The same Bulls who needed a late-season push to even get into the playoffs had come together in beautiful harmony. To be fair, even they were surprised to be in this position, and no one really believed they had full control of the series yet.

Against that backdrop, the Celtics were finally the desperate team in Friday’s Game 3. They played with urgency, but they also played with poise and control. Helter-skelter possessions slowed down and resulted in quality looks. When things started to go awry toward the end of the first half, the C’s made a strong push to start the second and sustained a Butler flurry late in the third to emerge with a relatively easy victory.

Stevens’ decision to start Green was shrewd. It allowed the Celtics to start small and stay that way with Jae Crowder logging most of his minutes at the four. The extra shooting helped space the floor and negate some of Chicago’s size advantage, although they still got crushed on the boards.

On offense, a series of staggered screens for Thomas helped unlock Horford, who may have played his best game in a Boston uniform. The shooters finally made shots. Bradley, in particular, was sublime throughout. Their bench units, which had been almost unplayable at times, came through with a huge performance.

The Bulls, meanwhile, looked disjointed without Rondo on the floor. He had been crucial in not only establishing their rhythm on the offensive end, but also disrupting Boston’s timing by overplaying passing lanes. For whatever he’s lost physically, Rondo always did have a beautiful basketball mind and he has the Celtics playbook down cold.

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“Hated him,” Dwyane Wade said after Game 2 in regards to a question about Rondo, his longtime playoff antagonist. “That hate is that respect. When we played against Boston back in the day, he knew all the plays. He messes up your first option. And then he knows the second option.”

Rondo’s renaissance was only one of several odd developments over the first two games, but it was easily the most important. Hoiberg started Jerian Grant in Rondo’s absence, who was not effective. Hoiberg then turned to Michael-Carter Williams, who was even worse.

The Bulls’ offense was reduced to a series of Butler and Wade drives to the basket, and Butler had one of the worst shooting playoff games of his career. With Rondo out indefinitely with a broken thumb, that may be their best offense the rest of the series. If the Bulls are going to pull this off, Butler has to continue being the best player on the court.

The rebounding is still the thing here. It’s been the Celtics’ fatal flaw throughout the season and it was always going to be a problem during the playoffs. When they have played their best basketball, such as a March win over the Cavaliers, they minimized the damage on the boards. When they have been at their worst, like they have most of the time against the Bulls, they look like kids trying to keep up with adults in a backyard volleyball match.

The Celtics were better in Game 3, but it’s a measure of how bad they’ve been that they could still allow 15 offensive rebounds and 17 second-chance points and call it a successful performance. Still, the effort was there, particularly from the guards who cracked back on box outs and didn’t try to leak out in transition.

So where do we go from here? Who the hell knows. Thomas hasn’t gone off since Game 1. Butler isn’t likely to miss 14 shots again. Literally any outcome short of a James Young podium game on Sunday would be plausible, and neither team should feel secure about their chances by the time the series returns to Boston next week.

There’s always one first round series that stands out from the others in its extreme eccentricities and rapid momentum swings. It just happens to be one where the series doesn’t start until the home team wins a game on their floor.