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putonmyfavoriteshow · 3 years

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I finished s1 of Violetta and here are my hot takes on the characters after 80 episodes:

Tomás - Worst character, good riddance. They try to make him the “nice guy” but he’s so often the opposite. He treats all the girls poorly and is just so immature and dumb. And at his best is just dull - no real charisma.

León - I have a soft spot for the guy, and I do root for Leonetta. I thought he was a really good bf to Vilu, but he really needed to reign in the jealousy and competitiveness with Tomás. I worry for how they develop his character bc he has potential but unless your name is Manuel I don’t trust main DCLA love interests. I’m bummed this is the end of piano man León since I hear he switches to guitar. Still, I’m excited for more songs because Jorge has one of my fave voices in the show.

Andrés - He’s so dumb but man does he make me laugh.

Maxi - This boy is a mess but is very lovable. His style is really iconic. Sometimes his love life was too much of a dumpster fire for me but he and Naty made a very cute couple. Unfortunately, they also have a lot of problems - Ludmi being the biggest lol

Naty - Soft, angel baby who deserves the world; top tier character; would die for. I’m glad she found love with Maxi but my preferred ship is probably Luty if Ludmi would only treat her how she deserves. I also need her to finally shine in performances. She kept getting parts that ended up being replaced by Vilu or thwarted by Ludmi! Don’t tease me show!

Luca - He sure was there lol, though I did enjoy his relationship with Fran - he’s a good big bro even if he’s not always showing it in the best way. His voice was a nice surprise.

Bracco - My tall boy! I will miss this cute man and his silly bear metaphors.

Napo - Bracco’s short bf! I’ll miss him being the only one with full access to brain cells. Always standing up for people and what was right. His brotp with Naty is highly underrated. He went from competing with her to be Ludmi’s assistant to sticking up for her against Ludmi :’)

Fede - He was a very weird and confusing character. I get he was against lying which is a good thing but he was super annoying about it lol. Far different from Matteo tho which was interesting to see from Ruggero. I hope when he returns I like him more. I wish he never had a crush on Vilu bc their friendship was really sweet. Intrigued how Fedemilla will become a thing

Vilu - I really thought I wouldn’t like her but she’s really a sweetheart, a bit indecisive and foolish at times but only in a very normal teenager way. I think she handles her father well because tbh he’s usually in the wrong. And even to her love interests, she stands her ground quite a bit which I appreciate. I think the show treats her too much like a goddess but she herself is humble and kind. Also her voice really is all the show hypes it up to be. I really love it.

Fran - My favorite from the beginning, and her character arc through the season was my favorite - that final speech to Vilu said it all about how unimportant Tomás really is in the grand schemes of things. Another voice I never get tired of hearing. I think she really goes above and beyond for her loved ones and deserved some love in return. I also adore her friendship with Vilu. I can’t help but ship them bc they just scream soulmates (I could make a whole other post).

Cami - She’s really all over the place this season. I did feel bad for her on some occasions and understand her desire to prove herself, but a lot of times she just comes off as an incessant complainer. I hope she improves or they just write better stories for her that showcase her flaws in a way that helps her overcome them. I love Franletta but it’s a shame that Fran/Vilu gradually become closer making her an obvious third wheel. So I’m excited that she and Ludmi/Naty will get closer later on.

Broadway - I almost forgot to include him which says a lot about his character unfortunately.

Ludmilla - She’s completely over the top and looney which can be entertaining but I’m looking forward to some real character development from her. I know most of that happens in s3 so will be excited when that happens. She needs to admit that Naty is more than just her assistant. Shes far too conceited atm but I think Naty means a lot more to her than she lets on.

Germán - OMG get help!

Angie - I have mixed feelings. I love her love for Vilu. She and Pablo are great. Germangie is just a whole mess and she handles it poorly and I agree with Pablo most of the time regarding her lying problem.

Ramallo - The only man on this show with rights

Olga - Extra in the best ways - however I do think she really should be more respectful of Ramallo’s personal space

Jade - GIVE THIS WOMAN AN EMMY. She always delivers. Also I think genuinely could have some proper development if they allowed for it.

Mati - Parkour! I love his crazy zany physical comedy. Both he and Jade are just an amazing comedic duo.

Pablo - I still can’t believe this is the same guy that’s Nina’s dad. He’s reminds of a good version of Mr.Shue lol. He’s a great head of the studio and I love how he unites everyone. I wish he and Angie stood a real chance but he accepts that shes in love with German even when she won’t and it makes me emotional. Except he can be too jealous at times and lash out at her unfairly.

Beto - What a lovable klutz and even tho I hate Tomás, the way he mentored him and took him under his wing was absolute preciousness.

Gregorio - A highly entertaining antagonist. Another outstanding comedic performer. And the true range this actor has from this role to Rey in Soy Luna.

S2 here I come - please give me good new characters and don’t destroy the ones I love and improve on ones who need it 🙏🏼 Amen

#my thoughts #violetta #violetta review #violetta recap #queue color para pintar

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yaneyanedaze · 4 years

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My Special Girl Pt: 1

(Yandere!Various x Beta!Chubby!Reader)

Whoo boy, it’s my first time taking a step into the realm of Omegaverse, but i hope you guys like it, I am working on My Android Lover and Our Goddess (Which is the Royal Pillarmen story!) those should be coming soon as well! I’m happy to write for you guys and I hope you all are having a wonderful day!

With that! On with the story!

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F/n is a college student with a little problem, She’s a beta that apparently give off the scent of an Omega. So when she finally goes out one day, her life gets turned upside down as multiple Alpha’s try to claim her as theirs.

Will she tell them the truth? or let them find out on their own?

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“Come on f/n, you never go out with me anymore? Are you alright?” My friend, Crys (Pronounced Chris) asked. I shook my head, sighing heavily, already knowing where this conversation was going. I stood up from the table and headed to leave, not wanting to be apart of this. “Hey wait up! F/n!” She whined, following after me, “Is this because of-“ “Do not. Mention. His. Name.” I practically growled, anger dripping from each word that left my lips. I could see the sadness in her eyes as she looked down at the ground, kicking dirt around.

“Come on, that was in the past. We’re in college now!” I rolled my eyes and continued walking on, more annoyed than ever now. “Look, I’ll think about it, Now go please..” I said, as I was now standing in front of my apartment. Her look of somberness quickly turned to glee as she practically bounced with joy. “Yay! You won’t regret it f/n!” “I haven’t agreed yet- annnd she’s gone.”

I watched as she happily skipped away, I shake my head, a ghost of a smile appearing on my face. Walking inside, I was greeted to the cold, crisp air, I could feel the goosebumps already on my skin from the nice, relaxing feeling. My name is F/n L/n, I am a plus size girl in her 3rd year in college, majoring in fine arts, I have two sisters who live with my parents still back in (Hometown). My sisters are both Omegas, as well as my mother, and of course my father is an Alpha, but me?

I got unlucky and ended up being a Beta and because of this they basically shunned me, even though I was the baby of the family. They didn’t want anyone to know that I was apart of their family. Then again, she didn’t like me anyways because i was a bit on the plump side, I had a chest, curves and a butt, so i guess i had everything that she wanted. She used to call me names, pick on me because of my weight and even my sisters joined in on it, while my dad just sat and watched. So I eventually ended up moving away to go and live with my Grandmother. She was a beta as well, so I don’t understand why my Mom hated me so much when her mother was the very thing I am. My Grandma loved me and cared about me, she bought me anything i’d like, make sure i was happy and never judged me . Soon she knew I was going to be heading off soon so she helped me get my own little apartment and car for school. I still visit her when ever i can.

My friend Crys was also an Omega, I don’t even know why she bothered because she was kind of considered the top tier of the school. But she’s been by my side since elementary school (minus..that incident.) and has been a huge sweetheart.

But again, it sucked.

Crys wanted me to go to a party on campus, but I usually don’t do well at parties, cause you know anxiety is a thing, and why go be social when you have Netflix. I groaned loudly “Why musty I have such a soft spot for that girl!!” I yelled out as I dragged myself to my room to get ready when I get a call from my best friend, Reimi. She was a sweet girl with bubblegum pink hair and big redish/pink eyes, She’s another friend that I’ve known for years, and I’m a lot closer to her than I am with Crys.

“N/n! I heard you were going to the party! Someone must’ve black mailed you into going” She jokingly, I rolled my eyes and chuckled slightly as I roamed through my closet looking for something to put on. “Oh shush! Crys persuaded me to go with her puppy dog eyes.” I explained getting a soft ‘Oh’ from her. “Well I was just calling to see, I’m not going do to exams, I gotta crunch that study time” “I understand, I just wish I would stay home but I’ve already got an outfit out and Crys is expecting me.” I say pulling out a cute pink dress. It was a bodycon dress with slits on the sides and a sweetheart neckline, i smiled and shrugged, tossing over on the bed so I could wear it. It was a gift from my grandmother one year for my birthday. “Well, let me go so you can finish getting dressed! See Ya!” “See ya Reim” She hung up the phone and i headed over to the bathroom to freshen up and finish up.

I sighed and looked at myself in the mirror as I walked past, Even after all these years, I was still having a problem with loving myself. I guess my mom really did affect me more than i thought she was going to, I shook my head and slapped my cheeks.”Come on You’re gonna have fun tonight!” I say hyping myself up before i go in the bathroom to get ready.

(TimeSkip)

It was around 8:00pm when Crys and I pull up at the party, It was being hosted by one of the most popular boys of the school, Joseph Joestar, and of course, he was an Alpha. It’s probably the only reason Cyrs wanted to go to be honest. Speaking of the red head, she was wearing a pretty blue tube top with matching skirt, silver hoop earrings and a glittery choker. She wore heels to the party, but i know she had a change of shoes in her bag for when she get tired.

We both got out and she let out an excited squeal, “Yes! Look at us! two friends going out together, come on we’re gonna have fun just like the good old days!” She exclaimed, grabbing my hand and pulling me inside. Once we reached inside an overwhelming scent hit me straight in the face, I nearly dropped, but Crys caught me and giggled only making me nudge her as we walked in. We smiled and waved as we saw some of our classmates and some new people as well. But soon we separated as I had gotten tired of walking around already, and I usually didn’t do well in social environments.

I wandered around the large house until i came across a room that looked to be another sitting area, so I found the corner and sat down near it. I apparently didn’t hear the footsteps coming up beside me either.

“Surprised to see you here, F/n, Didn’t think you’d come to parties.”

I jumped slightly in my spot, turned and nearly fainted.

Jotaro Kujo was leaning against the wall behind me. He was one of my classmates, and he really didn’t come to class much, but when he did, you knew. Because majority of the girls would be swooning over him while the poor guy just wanted to rest and do his work. “Ah, I came with a friend, I got a bit tired, So I just came here to rest a bit,” He hummed in agreement as he leaned there. “Joseph made me come, said i needed to get out more, I would’ve been fine with chilling at home reading my marine biology books.” he said letting out a soft chuckle, followed by a ghost of a smile.

I felt like i was living some girls dream, To be sitting here chatting casually here with Jotaro would make them just melt. But to me he was just a normal guy, someone who loved marine biology and all things about the ocean. He was a gentle giant, at least towards me. “Let’s go outside, Its getting too stuffy in here.” He said, grabbing my hand, leading me outside, we pushed past people, saying my excuse me’s when we bumped into people.

Once we reached outside, I looked up at the sky seeing stars in the sky, all of them twinkling brightly, all of them just as beautiful as the next. Jotaro was also looking up at the sky as well, but he looked like he was contemplating something, like he wanted to say something, but he couldn’t.

“Jotaro? Are you Okay?”

(Jotaro’s Pov)

I breathed out slowly, gripping my fist as I let out a soft growl. ‘Why can’t i just get this over with.’ I thought to myself, She was standing right beside me. This cute girl, who didn’t find me scary, who didn’t just fawn over me like I was an object. Did she even know what I was? Other would be practically drooling over me, I’ve even had some males fawn over me. I glanced over at her and saw her face in awe looking at the sky. The way the moonlight glossed over her perfectly chubby cheeks, the way that dress hugged her curves and fitted her body in all the right places. If I wasn’t able to control myself I would’ve taken her right here and now, not caring that anyone else would see. They would know she is mine, and no one would dare look at her or try to claim her.

I was so lost in my thoughts I didn’t even hear her call my name out.

“Jotaro? Are you Okay?” I snapped out of my thoughts and turned to face her fully, she was about 5′1, so compared to me she was so small, She would fit so perfectly in my arms. I mentally slapped myself and let out a sigh before speaking. “Are you dating anybody?” I asked, and it came out blunt, but i didn’t mean it to, panic started to surge up in me as I didn’t want to come off as rude to her. But she seemed to ignore the tone of my voice and answered anyways with a smile. “Uh..no, I’m not really the dating person, i’ve ever only crushed on one person.” She admitted, a small blush on her face. ‘Thats cute.’ I thought as I watched her. She would be the perfect wife, I could see her swollen and round with my children, welcoming me home from a long day at work. I was happy with the response she said so I couldn’t help but give a slight smirk and a chuckle which seemed to surprise her as I saw another plus appear on her cheeks.

That’s when it hit me, She had a sweet scent to her, one that reminded me of roses and sugar, it gave off such an innocent vibe, not compared to some of these other girls around this place. She did say she’s only liked one person, so maybe that’s why, but I couldn’t wrap my head around it,it was teasing me, she looked to cute and innocent. I shook my head and let out a low growl hoping she didn’t hear, and luckily Joseph came outside just in time to save me from myself.

“There you are! I thought you had left, didn’t know you were out here chatting up this cutie here~!”

He said teasingly. F/n didn’t pay him no mind and neither did I. “Shut up, are you done hoeing around?” I asked, now standing in front of F/n. He smirked and laughed at my comment before throwing an arm around my shoulder. “I wouldn’t call it that, I was just looking for a girl~, but to answer your questions, no, I didn’t see anyone I like..that is..” He stepped around me and grabbed F/n’s hand.

(Pov Switch)

I jumped slightly when Joseph suddenly grabbed my hand. “You’re such a beautiful sight Baby doll~ How come i have never seen you around?~” He asked and I was about to answer until Jotaro practically growled at him. “Okay Okay jeez, i’ll back off for now~” He said, getting the hint. he scribbled something on a piece of paper and handed it to me before heading back into the house. He was gone as quickly as he came, i looked down at the paper in my hand and saw it was his phone number with hearts beside it. I rolled my eyes and giggled slightly.

“Don’t pay attention to him, thats how he always acts around girls he doesn’t know” Jotaro says before pulling down his hat and handing me his own piece of paper. I looked at it and saw it had his number on it but a date on it as well. “That day, after class, be ready we’re going out.” he said bluntly and walked back inside. I was in shock, so i didn’t immediately follow him. I had gotten two numbers in one night, both of them guys that all the girls loved. Needless to say, I didn’t know whether to be scared or excited, but i felt something.

I just didn’t know what.

I eventually walked around to the front to find Crys waiting on me. She smiled at me and started talking as we walked to the car. “Soo~ Did you have fun~?” She asked getting over into the drivers side. I nodded slightly, a smile growing on my lips, “yea..I did..” I said as I looked out the window, thinking about Jotaro, and excited for the next few days.

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I hope you guys liked this, as i stated above this is my first time really writing something like this and i also hope that i didn’t write Jotaro and Joseph too OOC, if i did let me know and i’ll try to fix it!

#JJBA #yandere jjba #yandere jojo #yandere Jotaro #jotaro x reader #yandere jotaro x reader #Jotaro Kujo #Joseph Joestar #joseph joestar x reader #jojos bizarre adventure #yandere jojos bizarre adventure #Jojo no Kimyou na Bouken #yane writes #omegaverse

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simpicicle · 4 years

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50 Shades Of Grey: Dumpster Fire

Welcome to my first Tumblr book review. :)

2.3/5

I could say nice things about this book, but why would I?

I went into this book with sour feelings, and I'm not surprised my opinion hasn't changed.

Plain and simple, Fifty Shades Of Grey doesn't fulfill its hype. It doesn't feel like a book that has sold over 100 million copies. It still feels like a fanfiction written on FanFiction.Net. It's not polished, beyond repetitive, and has poor sentence structuring.

For the love of Pete, did she even have an editor!?

And, in all honesty, apart of me wanted to like this book. But, in the end, I shouldn't have placed so much hope into this sorry excuse for a dramatic, sensual, twisted, love-story.

Where do I begin?

Let's start with our favorite girl, Anastasia Steele. Oh, how I despised reading from her POV. Reading her thoughts was a NIGHTMARE. She's so childish, she reminds of a teenager with zero life experience, she wasn’t sheltered by Ray or Carla. From what we know she had a very normal childhood, she didn’t have strict parents. There’s no explanation of why she acts like a confused and horny teenager! She’s not blissfully ignorant, she’s annoyingly ignorant and immature.

And don't even get me started on her subconscious and inner goddess. It’s the most infuriating thing to have James try and make Ana quirky with two people (?) in her head with more well-developed personalities than she has. It was exhausting having to be in her head for 514 pages.

If you were to take Christian Grey away from Anastasia, she would be the blandest character besides Kate. I understand that Christian helps Ana become more open, but c’mon! She was a human being before he came along, she must’ve had some type of personality! She’s hardly a person outside of him.

As someone who gets insecure about the dumbest stuff, I related to Ana in the first few pages about being self-conscious of her looks. But, MY GOD, does it get ridiculous. It gets to the point of being unrealistic, how can you make a woman being insecure unrealistic?

SHE CAN'T DESCRIBE HER VAGINA WITHOUT SAYING, "DOWN THERE" OR "SEX", THE ONLY DESCRIPTIVE WORD SHE USES IS CLITORIS, HONEY YOU'RE IN YOUR TWENTIES.

Her pettiness towards Kate and Elliot was honestly the stupidest thing I've read. She constantly says they need to "get a room", or says something about it being gross that they're all over each other. She's a jealous jerk to her best friend. Ana can't be happy for Kate because she has what Ana wants.

Case in point, she's immature, ditzy and annoying.

Now, to go in on Mr. Fifty Shades himself.

Christian has gone through a lot in his life, however that never excuses anything he did/wants to do. The abuse is a big part of his character so it was hard to not feel some type of sympathy for this mess of a human being.

Now, with that out of the way, let's go ham.

Christian Grey is a narcissistic, controlling, pompous, big-dicked STALKER. By golly, I've never disliked a book character more than I have Mr. Grey.

He's honestly just as (if not more) stupid than Ana. His need for having control over EVERY SINGLE THING Ana does is annoying and, quite frankly, worrying. The need for control in one's life is something we all strive to have, but controlling someone else's life? Not a good sign, pal.

Every time he would say "I'm going to take you in (location)." I would lose seven years of my life. The way he brings up that he wants sex, is.. well, not normal? He either scolds Ana for not following the rules of the contract (which she never sign) and then feels bad about it, and starts laying on the "charm" and touches her, OR he just starts to make-out with her and undressing her without really asking until Ana is naked.

Look, I have nothing against BDSM or the community, but this crap Christian wants to do isn't cute, and isn't portrayed in a way (I think) is consenting and healthy. Grey says he NEEDS to do this or he won't be able to live and be happy, even after knowing Ana doesn't feel comfortable he pushes it onto her anyway.

Tampon scene. Ana doesn't know what's happening, and even though he NEVER takes his eyes off of her, he apparently can't see she's freaked out.

He threatens sex like a weapon. It's an unhealthy way of seeing sex, and I hope no one takes what Grey does as the norm.

His need to force-feed Ana is unnerving and made me uncomfortable, I know he wants her healthy and well served. But, let her drink Twinings English Breakfast tea in peace!

His climaxes are immature and, honestly, funny. "OH, ANA!" There, I said it.

Now, enough of our MC's. Let's get down to what we all care about.

~Sexy Time~

Which is undoubtedly, some of the WORST sexual encounters I've ever read. They're all extremely juvenile, and I did feel like I was reading some sixteen-year-olds Harry Styles smut from the depths of Wattpad. It was sloppy and boring, you could feel no excitement through James' words. And definitely not through Ana's feelings -- "Oh my..", "His hands go down there." "Holy crap." yeah, thanks, Ana.

Christian and Anastasia's need for fonduing is honestly, tiring, not in a good way. Like, do you guys literally wanna do anything else? Like maybe talk about why Ana is so blind and clearly doesn't know basic human anatomy? Or that Christian uses sex to stop Ana from talking or doing something he doesn't like? No? Just more poorly written sex? Okay.. cool.

I don't think Christian and Ana are a good couple, their personalities don't compliment each other well, and since there are four books after this, I'm assuming this doesn't matter and there are more of the same problems within those books as well (can't wait).

At the end of this book (last thirty, or so pages), I started to see a change within their relationship that was refreshing, but at the same time, I wasn't able to enjoy it because of everything that had come before it. I had already disliked Christian so his growth was lackluster for me. It was upsetting to see two characters I had been following for over three hundred pages now, finally start to have some type of positive encounters when I was already so fed up with them.

If it would've been sooner on, I might be typing up a completely different review right now. But, I'm not. So clearly, it wasn't very impactful. I want to see them both happy and in a healthy relationship, but heck, it's hard to see it.

Side characters

How do I even begin? They're all so dull and lacking.

If they weren't in this book, nothing would really change. Besides Kate and (maybe) Jose.

Out of all the side characters, the only ones who we're KIND OF fleshed out were Ana's mom and stepdad (Ray). The rest were lifeless place holders who didn't add anything to the main plot.

I found Christian's family boring and just your average Gilmore Girl rich family, they weren't strange like their son, but normal and sweet to Ana. But, still very empty and needed better building.

Taylor is cool though.

Ana's family (Carla, Bob, and Ray) were fine, I guess? They weren't the worse (looking at you Mia), but they left something to be desired. The whole underlying Twilight plot was heavy with Ana's parents and it was honestly hilarious.

Now, finally, let's talk about the ending. It sucked.

The fact it was first a fanfiction shows most at the end because it's so rushed and abrupt, I was lying in bed with a dumbfounded look, disappointed that this twisted story didn't at least, have a fulfilling ending.

That's about all I can bring myself to say about this book. Remember this is only my opinion so if you're one of the millions who loved this book, good for you! And no shade towards you.

Favorite phrase: "We aim to please, Mr. Gray/Miss Steele." Favorite repetitive word: Bewildered/Bewildering: Thirteen Favorite character: Ray Steele. Dude doesn't say much but cares for his daughter. Top tier.

#fifty shades of grey #50 shades of grey #book review #i hated it #christian grey #anastasia steele #i spent actual time on this #first review #taylor is my idol

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borisbubbles · 6 years

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14. Cyprus

Eleni Foureira - “Fuego” Runner-up

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What is happiness? The feeling that power is growing and that resistance is overcome. --Friedrich Nietzsche

Judging by that quote, Eleni must be a very happy woman because she has overcome a LOT. She entered Eurovision with a slew of drawbacks: As a sexually confident woman with a sultry song, she was always going to inspire contempt. As a fugitive Albanian, the Greek support other Cypriot entries had would be only conditional for Eleni at best. Her voice (or apparent lack thereof), of course, was a major point of discussion, among Greeks and Eurovision Tumblr Bloggers alike (ahem). As someone who was hyped and pimped by her Loud Obnoxious Fanbase as someone better than she actually was, she was always going to alienate neutrals by proxy.

So going into this year, Eleni faced a fairly uphill battle. Guess what?

She fucking slayed it.

From the moment this woman, no, this GAZELLE, serenly glided onto the stage, unfazed, confident and battle-ready, she was snatching weaves left, right and centre. Any man would pay the price of sweet surrender, for the promise in her eyes it was so tender. She provided a action-pumped show that was captivating, mesmerizing even, for a full three minutes. My God, did “Fuego” look good.

Out of all the acts that could’ve won the Sasha Jean-Baptiste Raffle, I’m glad “Fuego” did because Eleni absolutely was the one whom I felt needed it the most. Partially because Eleni is an utter gem of a person. She’s the epitome of the Lovable Dimwit Archetype (”Eleni what does your song mean?” “it means... yeah yeah, fire ^__^”) Mostly because Eleni had two pretty big problems: She has a fairly crappy voice and she has a fairly crappy song.

The voice I don’t mind though. Yeah, it’s not as crisp as the rest of the top five (literally crisp if we count Moro’s, whose voice sounds like someone crushing doritos with their bare hands), but Eleni’s vocals being shit was telegraphed way in advance so idek how you could be shocked at this fucking stage. For all the buzz it generated, I expected way worse? Eleni’s vocals don’t detract from the experience and at times even enhance it. Her voice just... withers at the funniest of moments:

And then the disaster note gets echoed around the Altice Arena TWICE <3 (also “Yeah Eyes of a Linus <3)

The song, however, I mind significantly more. Surely Cyprus made the most out of what they were given and “Fuego” was an excellent frame for that brilliant act, but Dear God. I’ve said it several times before, but “Fuego” would make an excellent winner in two-thousand-and-EIGHT, but not two-thousand-and-fucking-EIGHTEEN. Even by Eurovision’s hopelessly antiquated Musical standards (”Hey guys we found out about this CRAZE that’s sweeping the musical scene we should add it to all our entries” “what’s it called?” “Dubstep” -- Eurovision in 2013), “Fuego” is hopelessly dated. It’s a nice throwback to the halcyon days of the Eastern Miniskirted Goddess (and “Fuego” is better than, say, “Secret Combination” and “Düm Tek Tek”), but this is not even remotely near “My Number One”, “Qele Qele” or “Shady Lady” levels of glorious hip-shaking femdom imo.

“Fuego”’s utter lack of originality also came to the attention of the Eurosnobs who began disliking Eleni for... the fucking wrongest, stupidest reasons why am I not surprised? “UM SHE’S LIKE BEYONCE HOW AWFUL” First of all, Beyoncé doesn’t fucking have a monopoly on this type of music, Second of all, you’re making it sound as if being like Queen Bay is a bad thing??? Third of all, STFUUUU!!! WHY EVEN WATCH EUROVISION IF YOU’RE NOT WILLING TO BASK IN THE GLORY OF THIS DESPERATE SLUTPOP ANTHEM

At the end of the gay, I really like “Fuego”. Well, that is to say, I like what it became on the Eurovision stage, but that’s ultimately what matters most. Despite the hate she got, Eleni absolutely deserved to finish as high as she did based on her live performances. On the flipside, if I were to never listen to “Fuego” again, I wouldn’t miss it, at all. Now that we’re ready to fully move on to the next tier, I do have *higher* “spam replay button on Youtube” standards that “Fuego” sadly, does not meet. STILL A BETTER UNDERDOG STORY THAN NETTA THO

RANKING SO FAR:

14. Cyprus (Eleni Foureira - “Fuego”)

15. United Kingdom (SuRie - “Storm”)

16. Serbia (Balkanika - “Nova Deca”)

17. Portugal (Cláudia Pascoal - “O jardim”)

18. The Netherlands (Waylon - “Outlaw in ‘em”)

19. Ukraine (MÉLOVIN - “Under the ladder”)

20. Macedonia (Eye Cue - “Lost and Found”)

21. San Marino (Jessika ft. Jenifer Brening - “Who We Are”)

22. Sweden (Benjamin Ingrosso - “Dance You Off”)

23. Austria (Cesár Sampson - “Nobody but you”)

24. Latvia (Laura Rizzotto - “Funny girl”)

25. Azerbaijan (AISEL - “X my heart”)

26. Israel (Netta - “Toy”)

27. Norway (Alexander Rybak - “That’s how you write a song”)

28. Montenegro (Vanja Radovanovic - “Inje”)

29. Armenia (Sevak Khanagyan - “Qami”)

30. Poland (Gromee ft. Lukas Meijer - “Light me up”)

31. Greece (Yianna Terzi - “Oniro mou”)

32. Georgia (Iriao - “For you”)

33. Belgium (Sennek - “A matter of time”)

34. Italy (Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - “Non mi avete fatto niente)

35. Romania (The Humans - “Goodbye”)

36. Ireland (Ryan O'Shaughnessy - “Together”)

37. Croatia (Franka - “Crazy”)

38. Belarus (ALEKSEEV - “Forever”)

39. Russia (Julia Samoylova - “I Won’t Break”)

40. Spain (Amaia & Alfred - “Tu canción”)

41. Iceland (Ari Ólafsson - “Our choice”)

42. Australia (Jessica Mauboy - “We Got Love”)

43. Czech Republic (Mikolas Josef - “Lie to me”)

FOOTNOTES

1) I would argue that Eleni probably had the best underdog story out of everyone this year. This year had plenty of them, many of which are still in this ranking (Ieva, Eugent, DoReDoS, etc), but there really is something to be said about the constant barrage of persecution, xenophobia and mockery Eleni had to deal with and overcome in both LIFE and this contest. Pity she wasn’t a chicken woman or it would’ve won her the contest.

2) In case anyone wonders, I was pretty much “France or Estonia or DIE” for pretty much the entire season, so as you can imagine, I wasn’t too impressed with the top five we got (um, yeah not like I didn’t already boot 4/5 of them lul) Out of the DIRE top five we were given, Eleni probably should have won? (I loved Germany -obviousspoiler- but moreso because they didn’t win) Ugh I can’t with this year sometimes.

#Eurovision Song Contest #Eurovision 2018 #Cyprus #Eleni Foureira #Fuego

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