#but I also yesterday I was wearing a super masculine outfit

[aleeyenn]

Hi i just wanted to say I love your works and profile sm, I love how you represent fireafy and coinpin and each of their respective characters, and I especially love how you represent Coiny. I feel like from what I've seen people don't see how Coiny really is, they usually just reduce him to a jerk or a firey slapper. But he's so much more and so different from that lke in canon he's so driven and serious but then fun and chill when needed, and how he can be fun and silly but then empathetic and sweet when given. and I feel like the way you represent him is so accurate and takes evey aspect of him in canon as well as headcanons that just FIT HIM SO WELL and idk it just makes me so happy. I also LOVE your headcanon of him being able to pull both masculinity and femininity, I love it so much it emulates the essence of him so well so be so comfortable in himself and not have a shred of toxic masculinity or anything like that. And I love how you make him adore pin like YES HE ADORE AND LOVES and does whatever pin wants it just makes me so happy esp with how gorgeous she is and as someone who is also plus sized and having issues with self image seeing coiny adore pin like that makes me believe in myself more idk how to explain it but YEA hahah just really like how you depict his charcater as a whole

I also love all your designs for every character

But ye I just want to say that hahah

i saw this when it was sent yesterday and i was in school and i was SOOO HAPPY i was telling all my friends with tears in my eyes and squealing over how sweet of a message i received LIKE I HAD TO FORCE MYSELF NOT TO CRY AND I KEPT GETTING UP AND PACING AAHH😭😭😭 i have waited for when i have free time where i’m not super tired to respond better than i would tired But! THANK YOU SOSOSOSO MUCH!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME!!! YOU REALLY DONT!!! thank you thank you so much!!! i’ve been struggling with forming my thoughts and feelings into words recently so forgive me if this is a messy reply but AHH!!!

coiny is one of my favorite characters he’s sooOOO FUNNY AND CHARMING! i love expressing his silly side and how dumb he is sometimes so i do it in most of my work (because it’s lighthearted almost every time) and it makes me so happy to see him being so.. coiny! he is genuinely such an amazing character and the perfect balance of cool, kind, and idiotic(affectionately) he’s so nice and so compassionate and i appreciate that about him so much and I AM SO HAPPY THAT YOU CAN ENJOY MY PORTRAYAL OF HIM BECAUSE HE IS SO AWESOME! I LOVE EVERY PART OF HIM!!! and you like my headcanons!!! i forget what kind of coiny headcanons i have represented on this account but YESSS!!! COINY PULLING OFF FEMININE CLOTHES IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS TO THINK ABOUT! he is SO proud of it. he will put on a pink frilly dress and walk with confidence and feel as pretty as can be! i’ve been meaning to draw him in a dress for months actually (i have so much i want to draw all the time but i’m either really busy or i have zero motivation But this message gave me the motivation to actually try soon KEEP AN EYE OUT! maybe ill draw pin and coiny with their outfits swapped 🤫) he is one of the most positive and caring contestants on bfdi and he makes me so happy!!! he can wear both girly clothes and masculine clothes HE CAN WEAR WHATEVER HE WANTS and he will look TOTALLY AWESOME IN IT! and OMFGGG DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW MUCH HE LOVES PINNN SHE IS HIS WHOLE WORLD AND COINY IS HERS AS WELL! coiny will do anything for her he loves her so bad… AND!!! AHHHH!!!! I AM SO SO SO INCREDIBLY HAPPY MY PIN HUMANIZATION MAKES YOU FEEL THAT WAY!!! BRINGING PEOPLE SELF-CONFIDENCE AND EMPOWERMENT THROUGH MY DESIGNS AND REPRESENTATION IS MY ABSOLUTE GOAL WITH WHAT I DO!!! it seriously means everything to me that i’ve Actually been able to achieve that and help people with how they feel about themselves indirectly. my eyes are watering while typing this ARGHH i really just want everyone to know how beautiful they are no matter what their size or weight or height or color or LITERALLY ANYTHING is. and as someone who also struggles with their self-image/esteem it means even More to me because i know how it feels!!! seeing yourself in a design of your favorite character or a character you enjoy in general feels SO GOOD so i strive to do that as much as i can. body diversity and diversity in all aspects is incredibly important to me and i want to sprinkle it everywhere in whatever i do!!! everyone is so beautiful and different and i think that is a blessing!!! whoever is reading this is beautiful and whoever in the WORLD is too just how they are now!!! EVERYONE IS GORGEOUS!!! it may take a while to feel it and that’s okay but just know that you are!!!

in short i am happy i was able to touch your heart and make you smile and give you at least a little bit more confidence in yourself. you are amazing and so kind for sharing this all with me!!! i think you can tell now how much this did for me by how much i wrote (SORRY ITS HUGE BLOCKS OF TEXT) and i can’t thank you enough for liking my work from characterization to design. every time i get a message like this i will not stop thinking about it and i hold it close to me every time i draw Like those other messages about my pin gijinka from months back I STILL GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER. i’m really glad i can make you feel that way and i hope i have made many others feel the same way too. THANK YOU!!!💖💖💖🫶🫶🫶

#ps i’m trying to make a Not lighthearted comic about coiny and pin having a talk about bfdia and stuff #LIKE when pin said Let’s talk later… in tpot 2 ITS IF THEY ACTUALLY DID TALK LATER ABOUT ALL THAT STUFF #idk when it’s gonna be done but it’s going to have much more emotion and intensity than my usual fun and silly art #it’ll express their POVs and whatnot #I HAVE NO IDEA WHEN ILL FINISH IT BUT I HOPE YOU CAN LOOK FORWARD TO IT! #SORRY I WROTE SO MUCH IM JUST SOOSOSOSO HAPPY AND TOUCHED #I REACHED THE WORD LIMIT #joyjibberjabber

[alwaysbethewest]

I am not sure about the color combo at the Mando premiere but overall the outfit is super flattering and I love that Fabio is trying new looks and different silhouettes!! He has won me back over after the travesty of the neon green branded Valentino pjs lol. Hopefully P is having fun and enjoying more adventurous fashion too!

I saw a lotttt of people commenting on the color combination in that outfit, to the point that I literally looked up a color wheel yesterday because I was starting to feel colorblind for thinking the combo looked fine 😂 So you're not alone, but I liked it.

Interestingly, it seems Fabio hasn't been styling Pedro on this trip! These past couple outfits have been assembled by Julie Ragolia, who has worked with him quite a bit in the past and refers to him as a friend. I think it's really cool that we can see a difference in the style of her work vs. Fabio's. (Some of the time I think Fabio totally knocks it out of the park, but I also hated that Valentino set, lol. Once again I found myself questioning my own eyes because I really don't think green is P's color (at least not some tones) but I've seen so many other fans who think it is 😭)

To me—with the caveat that I actually know nothing about fashion, in case that isn't already clear, and also that I'm making a lot of projections here that could be wildly off base!!—there's a decidedly queer bent to the UK Mando event outfit and the silvery cardigan number from today. That's part of what I really liked about the Mando outfit. I loved the boldness and audacity of wearing that to an event for a character who (okay, to me Din is a very soft boy and maybe queer too, but) to much of the outside world/passive observers is a really tough guy, hetero-masculine figure. Particularly after 3+ years of dealing with nasty comments from the conservative side of the Star Wars fandom, wearing a tight little cropped knit cardigan and bright red pleated trousers with lots of bare chest on display felt like something of a fuck you and I was here for it. And similarly, I think the silver cardigan/sheer top (!!) outfit from today has a gender line-blurring quality about it. In fact, lol, a friend and I both independently came up with the word "matronly" to describe it (which may not have been the effect Julie or P were going for lol, but oh well). Personally I think I would have liked it better paired with a more tapered trouser or skinny jeans and a slip-on sneaker, just to balance it in a different way.

Anyway, all of this is to say, yes, it feels like there's a new playfulness and vision for his fashion this year and it's so fun to take in, especially in a sea of other famous men wearing the. most. boring. suits. all the time. 🙃

#anonymous #ask #fashion

[andrwgarfields]

i disagree with your recent kit post! the stylist who worked with him in venice also dressed him last night and i think he looked great at both, and that the clothes were appropriate for the events.

i can’t argue with you about the loewe/drains outfits, though I think it’s cool that a major label has had him wear their collection twice in the last few months, despite how awful i think the design is.

i don’t think kit’s body type would work with slim fit suits like joe and will wore last night. assuming you aren’t anti-kit in general, what would you like to see him wear, if you don’t think he should wear black or white tux jackets, or colorful modern looks like last night?

thats cool!!! im not anti kit i swear!!!!

i think the colours were good yesterday i just didnt like the flared pants 🥲 i feel like it would look better slim fitted????

also i disagree i think he could equally rock what either joe or will was wearing, just probably needs to be more proportioned to his body, there are other male celebs who are super masculine and around his height and rock cool looking suits and outfits as well on the carpet (aka michael b jordon!)

#like look at michael b jordan red carpet looks! #sometimes he goes for the classic black tie but he always adds some cool elements to it #that suits his body type #sure hes not the same body type as joe and will #his outfits are appropriate for the event yes but could be styled better #ask #anonymous

[goldenpixel]

I’m having such a conflicting gender day

I’m wearing a cute cozy outfit, with a button up that’s mostly unbuttoned, and I feel super cute and girly. But my brain is also going “boy time boy time boy time pretty boy time”

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

#I’m lowkey channeling my man georgenotfound #I wanna be a pretty boy #but I also yesterday I was wearing a super masculine outfit #and I had a ball cap on backwards #and I was channeling frat boy sapnap #I just wanna show gender the way that the dream team shows gender #aj speaks #aj has a gender crisis #I think I might be non binary #but I also don’t super love labels of any kind #hmmmmmm

[blursed-ninjago-ideas]

So, uh, here's a Genderfluid Jay thing.

Jay usually leans towards male pronouns. In fact he didn't really start questioning until one day they were referred to as he and they started to feel ill. Everyone tried to reassure them but kept using things like "he" and  "bro" and Jay just kept feeling more and more ill.

They actually ran off towards Mystake's tea shop, thinking they might have gotten cursed, leaving everyone else behind. Mystake was surprised to see Jay, but gave them a cup of camomile tea and asked about what was wrong.

Jay asked if there was a curse where hearing certain words would cause people to be sick and Mystake says for him to elaborate. Jay explains what happened and Mystake then tells Jay:

"Hmm, well I think I know what's wrong."

"Really?! So you have a cure?"

"No."

"No? No!? I'm gonna be cursed forever!?!"

"No, Jay, There is no cure, because you are not cursed. You are feeling sick because you are being called something you know isn't right."

"What l-like I'm a girl now or something?"

"Perhaps. Are you?"

And that gets Jay thinking. Jay felt like a boy yesterday but today-Today she felt like a girl.

She has a lot of questions, and Mystake tries her best to answer. Mystake offers Jay a place to stay while she sorts herself out and Jay agrees. Mystake tells Jay that if she wants to wear something else that she could borrow something from the wardrobe. Jay tries on a dress and feels... nice. She stays the night, but not before sending a text back to the rest of the team that (s)he's alright and but needs some alone time.

The next day he feels like a boy again. He talks to Mystake again:

"Jay, you are not the first person I've seen who has had their gender change like that. When I was small I knew many people who would shift from man to woman to everything in between. They, like you, would feel better being called he one day and she the next. For some it was just a preference, for others it hurt to be called the wrong thing. Why, I wasn't certain for a while about which one I was until a bit before I set up my shop. You might settle on something like I did, you might not, but it doesn't matter what you are, as long as you are true to who you are."

Jay still feels weird but Mystake has really helped. He's still worried though, will the others accept him?

Mystake reassures him that anyone who's worth it will accept him, but if he doesn't feel like he's ready to tell anyone yet, he absolutely doesn't need to tell anyone.

Jay goes back home with a dress, some teabags and a bag of make-up. He starts growing his hair out. He feels much better about himself, and starts noticing times when they are female or nonbinary or part-male or even just a huge question mark, but he's still Jay, even if he isn't a he.

It takes him a few weeks to tell his parents, but once he did it was a huge relief (They got shirts. It was embarrassing but really touching. Edna has a photo of Jay with the hugest blush and most awkward grin ever crushed between his parents placed in a scrapbook. It's one of her favourites.)

He still takes a couple to tell the rest of the ninja. He practices in front of the mirror, visits Mystake to go over many, many scripts and even tries picking out an outfit to wear for his big reveal (should he wear a dress? A suit? His normal clothes? What?)

He ends up just spluttering out that he's genderfluid and running off embarrassed. After a bit of explaining everyone accepts him, even if some (Kai) are still confused.

After a while everyone gets used to Jay randomly waltzing in anything from stunning dress with gorgeous make up to a rabbit onesie and fluffy slippers and announcing his/her/their current pronouns. This is referred to as Jay's Gender Report and it is always done with an over the top announcer voice.

After season 9, Mystake's funeral happens, and her will is read out. Jay had no idea that he was mentioned at all in it. He received a box of camomile tea, a make-up kit, her old clothes and a book. Jay waits until after the funeral to read it. It's Mystake's old diary, back when she first came to Ninjago. He read through it all, uncertain why she gave him this until the very last page.

"Jay

If your reading this, I am long gone from this world. Assuming you read this diary, you would also know that I am an Oni, a shapeshifter from the First Realm. I have never needed to worry about what form my body took as I could change it whenever I pleased.

However, you don't have that luxury; No human does. I have lived a long time and have had many people come into my life, many of them were stuck in a form they hated.

I have been doing research for many centuries for a way to help these people, and while surgeons have methods to help transfer people to a different form, modern science can't help those who are constantly in flux.

I believe I have created a spell that could help.

It grants one a limited form of shapeshifting, allowing someone to change from masculine to feminine to androgynous and back again.

It is still imperfect, it only lasts for a week before you need to recast it, and changing form more than twice a day will tire you out and it doesn't work for those under the age of 21.

I have enclosed the spell in the envelope across the page. My final wish is that you help as many people as you can with this spell. Find a trustworthy mage who can finish the spell.  Create one of those "spider sites" you have shown me so anyone who needs the spell can find it.

I am sorry that I wasn't able to tell you this in person, to help you through the first casting of the spell, but knowing you will be able to use it for yourself even after I'm gone gives me hope.

-Mystake"

Edit: Jay is the genderfluid icon and Mysake is the super supporter I NEED thank you so much for this submission

#blessed ninjago submissions #ninjago #submission #this is...so beautful

[bashfulmusician]

So....I’m just going to say it and get it done with because I’ve been holding it in for so long that I can’t take it any more. Feel free to skip down to the very bottom of this because it’s LONG. It has to do with my gender identity. ((It’s seriously SUPER long and personal, so feel free to skip to the TLDR at the bottom))

So I’m ace. That’s pretty easy to tell at this point. I’ve known for almost a year now and it’s such an intrinsic part of who I am that I will proudly wear my flag (literally. I have a couple of ace pins now).

But there’s something else that’s an important and confusing part of who I am. It’s kind of a long story, but I have to get it out somewhere and somehow.

I was born and have identified as a cisfemale all my life. I loved my femininity (as annoying as social rights and expectations could sometimes be) and embraced myself. But there was also something else that I always wanted. I always wanted to wear more masculine clothing. I saw bowties and neckties and got jealous. I wanted to wear them.

But I was also born into a very strictly Christian family. I was taught by homophobic parents who proclaimed the whole “love the sinner, hate the sin” saying, yet would also make fun of LGBT+ individuals. I would never have been allowed to wear ties if I’d asked. For the longest time, this was my normal.

Then I went to college and all of that changed.

As some of you know, I’m studying social work at my university. Two of the profession’s core values are social justice and competence. Needless to say, my ingrained ideals were challenged for three years. They have ultimately changed for the better. Now I can say that I believe in the right of every human being to present as the gender(s) they so choose and the freedom to embrace and express their sexuality. Human rights should not be revoked or threatened to be revoked from people just because they aren’t heteronormative or cis-gendered. My parents have not changed their views, and I do not look for them to. But I can rest knowing that I will one day do my part to help others.

And here’s where the news comes in.

A couple months ago (unfortunately while I was visiting my family for summer break and cringing at remarks), I visited a free clothing closet. While there I noticed two pairs of suspenders and some men’s button-ups. Thinking, “why the heck not?”, I grabbed them without my sister noticing and snuck them home in my clothing bag.

Late that night, I dug out a bowtie from an old work uniform and headed down to the basement. I tried them on, hiding, and my gosh. Oh. My. Gosh. I looked in the mirror and truly understood euphoria for the first time. I realized why I had always wanted to wear button-ups and ties. I loved them! I cried with joy and happiness, so glad that I’d grabbed the suspenders and dug out the old tie. I looked different in the best way possible. A way that I couldn’t explain, but I could feel so strongly. It felt amazing and wonderful.

The next night, not able to help myself, I tried another outfit with my secret stash. I almost cried again, ecstatic and euphoric. Then someone knocked on the door.

I quickly threw on my dress, balled up my clothes, and left the bathroom. I said that I’d been trying on clothes to see what still fit. The catch though? I didn’t like what I’d seen in the mirror. The dress didn’t feel right. It didn’t look right.

I thought that maybe I just preferred masculine clothing. That happens to normal women, right? They realize they like a different style. I was still a woman.

But then I started to not like my chest. Whenever I wanted to wear the masculine clothes, I also wished that I had a flat chest. It didn’t look or feel right. I’d still have days when I felt alright wearing a dress and could stand my more feminine aspects. But those days when I wanted to wear more masculine clothes really bothered me. My gender identity was really weighing on me. Especially with all that my family had taught me and what I was raised with, I was always anxious that maybe I wasn’t straight? Maybe I wasn’t cis? It ate away at me.

Then I thought, “why not try they/them pronouns? If I’m really not cis, this will kind of prove to me and help me figure this out. If I don’t like it, then I know I’m still cis.” Gosh darn internalized LGBT+ phobia Big surprise for me, they/them pronouns felt exactly right. Then I realized I really didn’t like to be called a she when I felt this....different feeling. My name even felt wrong on those days, it didn’t sound like my name.

Also yesterday and today I experienced what I identify as dysphoria. I was unable to bind due to the heat and had to limit myself to one bra. I also couldn’t wear a button up shirt like I wanted to (weather again). Last night everything felt wrong. My chest felt like it wasn’t mine, it felt strange and so wrong to be called by my feminine name, and being referred to as a she? I wanted my born gender to disappear. I just wanted to be a person, not a female.

I’ve realized now that I really don’t know what my gender identity is. I’m saying genderqueer for now because I’m very confused. Some days I feel like a woman, others I feel neutral (I call them “they days”). On “they days”, I bind (SAFELY!!!), wear more masculine clothes (I’m not FtM, he/him pronouns don’t sound right), and use they/them pronouns. I also want to use a different name, but I suppose that will come a bit later when I’m more comfortable with this strange part of myself. For now, you can use she/her or they/them for me. I’ll still go by the same names, but I’m also going to add Emile to the list. Thank you all for reading this far, if you have, and I appreciate and love every single one of you.

TLDR: I am genderqueer. Somedays I’m a woman, others I’m a “they”. I use she/her and they/them pronouns depending on the day, but either is fine here! While I will still go by June/Juni/Juniper, I also will go by Emile.  Thank you all ~Juni/Emile 💜🖤💚

#personal #long #juniper sprigs of life #juniper b'rambles #genderqueer #here goes nothing

[tumblunni]

Weirdass Real Cis AF Conversation going on downstairs

"Oh my daughter's wedding yeah i want the girliest dress yeah she loves girly stuff. Like even when she was a baby she'd always wear frilly petticoats."

Like..umm.. You put her in those clothes...?

Serioudly she was on about how she bought a whole fancy old fashioned petticoat for a literal one year olf including frilly knickers, and how THE DAUGHTER IN QUESTION said she didnt want to raise her own kids so heavily gendered from such a young age as she was, but the mom was like "oh just wait til theyre born and you see them! You'll totally understand! Mommy instincts blablabla!"

Like wow i've never seen talk of these certain type of baby underwear instincts before. Seriously man that must be so uncomfortable for a literal one year old in a diaper to have frilly scratchy stuff everywhere?? And like an eight layer petticoat she cant even run around in?? Like if you're really insistant on only buying stereotypically feminine clothes you could just go to the actual baby clothes aisle and pick up something pink? Man it must have been hell for the mom too, to get all that stuff off every time a diaper needs changing!

And then seriously how can you say 'oh my daughter liked that and my son would never like that' when theyre both too young to even say their first word? Of course theyre gonna wear whatever you put on them, they cant exactly fight you off! They dont even have object permenance or a concept of what dresses ARE, let alone the social implications of fashion and gender roles! I just wanted to interrupt and be like "oh your son doesnt like it? So you've let him try it? And you've let your daughter try other outfits too?"

And It doesnt really bloody sound like the daughter liked being dressed that way as a kid if she argued with you about doing it to her own kid. And she was all laughing about "oh lol my son was always covered in sick instead of his clothes, he'd always pull them off haha Boys Amirite". Dude your kid is just a nebulous blob of vague comprehension of the world. Both of them would be running around being 'little terrors' if both of them could run! And serioudly thats just how much babies HATE clothes at first, they dont know why they have to wear a thing around their neck and chest or why its bad to take it off. Can you imagine how much more fidgety a kid would be in the most over the top petticoat nonsense? And not being able to crawl or run or play because she's not allowed to get stains on the stupid thing?

Ugh man i wore a frilly petticoat like that when i was a kid up to around age 6 or 7. Because it was all i had and my parents decided what i wore every day. And i didnt know that some things were 'girly' or 'manly' let alone that i was trans yet! Well i mean i guess i kind of still was me but i didnt know to feel bad about it cos i didnt know boys couldnt wear this or girls had to wear this. I just had no feelings on it except that it was annoyyyyying to wait thru all this long process of putting it on each morning and i'd fidget like hell. And then it was uncomfortable and i just had to get used to it because i thought ALL clothes were just as bad? I liked how the skirt fanned out if i ran but i hated that i wasnt supposed to run in it. And i still tried to run around and climb trees and roll in the grass and hide behind the sofa and make forts and be a "little terror" even when i kept getting told off for "ruining" my good clothes. And i think thats where i started my general hatred of shoes cos those fancy dress shoes were so tight and cut up the back of my feet. I'd take them off as soon as my parents werent watching! And theyd all swear that i "loved" having my hair tied back in a ribbon even though i'd cry about people tpuching and pulling my hair and then keep conveiniently losing the ribbon by the end of the day. Seriously bad parents will just make up a personality for you and never bother to actually ask you! Like i mean i dunno of this lady is a bad parent just cos she believes in kinda exaggerated gender stereotypes, but my parents did and yeah it reminded me of they who were very much not good :/

OH MAN LOL its funny looking back on how my parents were ~so concerned~ at my ~sudden phase~ of hating dresses and choosing to wear "boy clothes" literally AS SOON AS I LEARNED THERE WERE OTHER OPTIONS. And they still chose everything i wore so i'd just have to go for the least feminine of the bunch and like ignore half of the closet until they got the hint. Imagine like entire years of slowly getting slightly more neutral clothes until eventually i had one singular t shirt. Still with care bears on it. And as soon as i actually got to choose my own clothes i was totally off on the me train! "What has caused this alarming new trend out of nowhere?" Asks zero memory mom, who was complaining about the same damn thing every time i did anything non girly for the last decade. Also they complained that i was "less vibrant and happy and didnt run around like you did as a kid" despite the fact they friggin punished me for running around and not being a demure young girl :/

And then there's the whole subject of how all babies regardless of gender wore frilly smocks and bows in victorian times. It was still considered unmasculine for a grown man but it was like in an "immature" sense. It was called the breeching of the child, i think? That age when you get old enough to start wearing pants, it was treated as a lil life milestone celebration. There's loads of other stuff like that of our ideas of masculine and feminine clothing switching sides throughout history! Baby blue was considered the primary feminine colour for a long time, and pink was just considered a shade of manly red. High heels and tights were both invented as male fashions,and you see LOADS of regency era men wearing them in portraits! They only became degraded as a women only thing because crossdressing women would wear them and society had a homophobic transphobic panic and decided to abandon the trend. And over time it was all forgotten and the idea morphed into a 'ultinate symbol of straight femininity' just like it was the ultimate straight masculinity before...

So yeah lol sorry i just overheard a very stupid excuse for why imposing super over the top gender roles on a kid is ~totally good~ and i just went off on a brain thought train about the whole subject. I guess im still a bit upset from the whole transphobic mess yesterday and im probably judging this lady a bit too harshly.

[jordantanevisualessay]

Nicolas Connor Barnes

My mom named me after the actor Nicolas Cage and I hate it, its horrible. Also my dad apparently named me after Sinéad O'Connor you know who she is? the one who sang “Cause nothing compares to you” that girl who is now a crack head so my dad just pulled her last name and put it in mine. Anyway that’s my name.

Tell me about your family?

My Mom’s family is a bunch of crack heads. My dad’s side obviously don’t know my dad, but I still keep in contact with my Aunty, Uncle, Grandma and Grandpa from that side. My mom was a single mom, she remarried. But besides all that they are all from Australia and just plain white. 

Describe your aesthetic

Extra , Boujee, Colourful would you say I’m colourful 

What do you mean by colourful?

Like I have a lot of colours, like yellows and blues and purples.

Oh like you’re colour palette?

Yes, so yeah I said colourful, would you describe my style as designer? Like is that a thing? 

What designer brands are you into?

Gucci, Louis Vuitton, love me some Prada, Dior, Chanel, Dolce, Versace, Bottega Venetta, Jimmy Choo, Fendi, I could be here all day.

So just anything designer essentially?

Of course

So obviously we have known each other since high school, and we have seen a lot of our friends change dramatically, so my question is do you think you have changed since high school up until now? Or even seen a change during high school?

I think I have definitely started to come out of my shell more, like I felt more comfortable to kind of wear what I want, I don’t give a fuck now, like I don’t care if you don’t like it, If I wanted to wear a fur coat to class bitch I will and I’ve done it. 

Through this project I have been reflecting back in year 9 till like both of us in our 2nd year of Uni 

Oh I had terrible style in year 9, actually I think we all did, we all thought we were hot fly and sexy.

How would you describe your sense of humour?

Certainly very dark and inappropriate, but also like I find very immature things quite funny. You know actually imma go real deep here, the reason I think I enjoy immature jokes is cause I never got the chance to be immature as a kids and that’s a fact. Hit the dong on the head with that. But yeah that’s the thing with you and I, feel like we both missed out on our childhood’s and kind of being a kid almost, so yeah that’s probably why I’m the way I am. I find certain stuff really funny but at the same time very mature for my age.

Do you feel like people don’t like that? 

Mainly people would just say oh you can’t laugh at that. But I would generally say it turns some people off but at the same time I don’t really care, I’ll do what I want.

In regards to your humour and perdsonality do you feel like you need to hold back at times? 

I just don’t care. If you don’t like my humour you can just fuck off somewhere else. Like what I find very self deprecating humour funny some people obviously don’t and like I find that very funny and if don’t like it its not my problem.

So tell me, what are your influences?

In terms of what like in life?

Yeah, before we get into like you’re aesthetic influences, I would love to know your life influences or even you why

Definitely my mother, 100% my mom and also just my self influence of wanting to do well for myself. But its definitely because of my mom I am where I’m at, she’s the only influence I need. 

What actually got you into designer clothes?

This is going to sound really stupid, but around the time of year 11 was when I started to become interested in it. And around that time I started watching, this is so terrible, I started watching you know house wives and all of their designer wear,  it was all a different world to me. So I would be like ooh I like that and would google it have a look at the website and find more stuff and then it was a continuous thing, each week a new episode would come out you would see it. Also a lot of the music I listen to its all about the Gucci bags and all of that. It wasn’t until about year 13 my last year of high school I started to watch more Youtube luxury videos of like unboxings, but yeah in year 13 was when I was like I really want these things but can’t afford them. And I actually started to buy fake designer items. And that was around about 6 months and then I stopped, got myself a nice little collection, then once we came out of lockdown the following year, I had all this money and I was like you know what I always wanted to go and buy something and that’s where it started and it hasn’t stopped. So now I don’t buy any fake designer items my stuff is real. A lot of people can call me shallow or whatever but in a way that’s what I put value and that’s my pride, happy and joy. 

Do you feel like you value objects more than people?

Yes omg facts, and they wont turn your back on you they will be right where you left them yesterday.

I know you mentioned before that one of your first designer influences was house wives, what actually got you into the show?

I still watch them, it was because I had a lot going on for me personally during that time, and for me that show even today its the same reason, you see a bunch of people fighting all the time, they go on holiday, they go shopping, and that is a life, not like what I want to have but a life you can almost live by curiously through, so I can put my shit on the side and invest in someone else’s drama, cause its not my drama so I can watch you fight and its not my problem. And it just spiralled out of control but like I have a picture of fucking  Lil’ Kim on my wall dressed in Chanel like she is obviously an influence on me and so is foxy brown. And if whoever asked who are your style icons and I know they are woman and we cannot wear the same things, I mean we could but it would be very strange, but those are my style influences.

I know in this day of age a lot of people are crossing those gender boundaries when it comes to style, is that something you would want to explore?

Like would I want walk across the street in heels, no. Thats not for me but I generally feel once I move out of home, cause my mom does make some comments on what I buy and decide to wear, but once I do move out of home I will be able to wear more. Im not huge on purses or anything like that not for me. Honey I sit there all the time looking at them, like they are so beautiful. But still not for me, but still there are some for when I do move out of home then I may be able to start looking into that more. I more kind of want to explore that unisex area of more feminine fashion but also masculine at the same time. I wouldn’t go for a purse which is feminine but I just want that balance. 

Would you use/wear a purse or like have them on display?

Like look at my Chanel bag I’ve never warn, but yeah once I do move out of home there are bags I do want like the Chanel Boy bag, its not a super feminine its more one of the masculine bags they have but it certainly not a ‘guys’ bag. It’s probably one of those things that I will grow into at some stage.

Theres certainly a scale of some kind of  masculinity and Femininity what are your personal thoughts on that and where would you fall on that scale?

Personally for me, Im certainly not the most masculine fellow out there but there are way more feminine people than me as well, but I would say I’m in the middle but leaning more towards the masculine. Im certainly in that middle point because there are some part of me that can be quite feminine.

So yeah back when we talked about Influences you talked about housewives and but then mentioned a bit about music so tell me more

I listen to a lot of current things when I was young like whatever Britney Spears had put out, whatever was just on the radio, we didn’t have Spotify or anything like that, and then it go into 2014 I got very interested in Nicki Minaj, she’s kind of into her fashion as well but I didn’t really take any notice of her. This is really strange but I found out about Lil’ Kim cause they both had beef, instantly liked Lil’ Kim more than Niki Minaj, and that’s when I began to notice she was a bit more out there. One of the first songs I listened to by Lil’ Kim the first line was “Being the first rap bitch to rock Chanel” and it was just very prevalent, and even all of her outfits and everything was very extra. 

What Is the main difference between Lil’ Kim and Niki Minaj? 

Honestly they are quite similar to each other, and thats why they had problems. For example Doja Cat, I almost would say Niki Minaj, Cardi B and Doja Cat are in the same box in terms of how they are very poppy, rappy. But Lil’ Kim is outta of the hood, and she’s never really done like pop music its very hardcore rap. Same with Foxy Brown, again all hardcore rap and even some of their music has heavy depth. I was thinking there’s a quote by Foxy Brown “And if you only knew I hold my minks at nights with cheap, Or no other hands can hold me right” Things like that are just like ouch, like I feel that. Obviously they are both very like into their designer labels so I was like me too. I just love that they don’t keep it PG and I can relate to that as I’m very outspoke myself. I just love me some hood music. 

Yeah and you just started recently going clubbing now too

Yeah I got to the point where I was like you know what I need to experience it at least once before I’m too old, and now I just keep going. I actually saw old videos of me slut dropping and back in that moment I thought I was hot as fuck but after seeing that not anymore.

What Clubs do you go to?

One of the first places I went to was Shadows which in enjoyed since they played early 2000s music I was all up in on that. Went to Ding Dong, it was creepy, didn’t like it, it was a very satanic vibe. It was an underground bar with a bunch of strip polls and shit like that, it was weird. Bar 101 is terrible, been once and never again. Went to Cassette for like 4 hours, Cassette was so much fun and then I went to Family Bar for like the rest if the night. But yeah my main bar/club is Family Bar. Even though there is just drugs everywhere shirtless people like where am I. 

What you mentioned before about once you move out and have more freedom where do you see yourself in that future ahead?

Hopefully I will be graduated by then. I really don’t think my style is going to changed its just going to be more of it. Alot more outfits, shoes, bags, hopefully some diamonds. Love me some diamonds. Me as a person, I don’t think I’m going to change much either, I say that because I look at everyone else I grew up with especially  from high school I would say everyone changed completely compared to myself, some for better some for worst. I’ve felt like I’ve been consistent with who I am, so I don’t think that’s gonna change. I’ve never had that rebellious phase that most of us goes through. I had to keep it real, having that childhood innocence taken from you and having to be mature early on, theres no room for that rebellious side, there’s so many bigger things in life than just vaping and doing that shit. But like I still have my fun you know, just have my head screwed on straight. 

How have you coped with this current lockdown?

I’ll be honest with you, I’ve really struggled with this lockdown. Like I just don’t wanna do anything, I will literally just sit here dead sad, so I just start drinking and I will just drink, like last night I got fucked. I’ve drank everyday, I’ve finished a bottle of grey goose in a couple of days. I’m just really struggling but I know once this lockdown is over, my life will pick itself over. Im not worried I will become like an alcoholic or something but its been rough. 

Tell me about your Instagram Lux with Nico 

Oh no, oh god, okay well its my Instagram page, which I haven’t on for a long time. It was a way for me to get into the community of designer lovers, like I’ve met some amazing people through it. Especially here in New Zealand, people don’t really get the whole designer thing.  My mom is always like what the fuck, why do you need this, and a lot of my friends don’t understand it either but they kind of accepted it but I do feel some sort of judgement from some people, they just don’t get it. So its nice to have that community not in a bragging kind of way like omg I brought a Gucci bag, and there’s other people excited for you and when they get something you get excited for them, and its a nice community to be apart of it. You get to see a lot of other peoples things and they get to see yours and you can get into those conversations. It’s nice but it always does has it dark side to it, its like a blog and you are wanting that blog to grow and they only way for it to grow is when you buy things. So I felt this kind of self pressure to be like “omg I haven’t gotten anything a new thing in like a week, what am I gonna post” so then I would go look at Prada like go looking for anything to buy just so I can upload something, to keep growing my account. Cause I did this everyday for awhile, and I just ran out of things. You look at other peoples accounts and they buy like Louis Vuitton bag like every week. I came to realise that was very fucking stupid, you should only buy things that you want and can afford. So yeah there is that dark side to it and you can go down that hole, you feel like you have to buy things for other people to look at. Which really it’s not what it’s about.

Do you wish to continue with that account and going into that social media realm?

I do, but I got this point where I ran out of things to post about. Like do I start posting pictures of the same thing but in a different angle? I mean I’ve brought things that I haven’t posted. But for me if i’m going to start posting again, I want it to be regular thing. And yeah I can post maybe weekly and space it out but you can’t really grow your account, you need to be very consistent if you want your account to really grow. I got to like 300 followers in a month, like I know that’s not huge and that’s even 3 times that what I have on my own personal account. After awhile the numbers were kind of slowish because you reach all the people that are interested in your shit. More people did come and I even had people like I had this girl who did custom designs on designer items and I had people like that who reached out to me, being like “oh we love your collection, we would love to do this for you etc” that’s stuff is nice and all but I did get to the point where I was like I don’t know what else to do here. 

Using your imagination is there anything else you would love to do besides posting of your designer items etc? Like even create your own stuff?

I would love to make my own collection of something, actually I would love to sell shoes, like design my own shoes. Would love love to do that, but then i’m like how would even start that sort of thing, would people even buy my shit. 

Would you say your favourite designer item is shoes?

Well, the only things i’ve brought this year have been all shoes. I mean I love my shoes, that’s my thing. 

And on top of all of that your studying psychology

Yeah I’m wanting to get into the Clinical side of psychology, I’m currently in my 2nd year doing a bachelor  of Psychology at University of Auckland. I think the reason of me wanting to get into that field stems from childhood things, like all of the people studying psychology are fucked up so. But yeah I would love to help someone else and give them that second chance. Currently at the moment we are doing a section on relationships and intimacy, I would love to be a relationship therapist that would be great, like that to me is super interesting. 

Why are you more interested in the relationship side of psychology? 

Don’t know really, just very interesting to me, seeing how relationships work through its ups and downs and all that kind of stuff. And for order for me to get into Clinical I will need to get a PHD and write a whole thesis, so I was kind of thinking of doing something on the lines of retail therapy, and I feel that would be very interesting for me to explore in a psychological level. 

So I know you are wanting to become a psychologist after your studies but do you think you would ever get into designing your own stuff like you mentioned before?

I would love to have my own brand or design something, that’s not a realistic goal though. You have to work fucking hard, everyone will say the work you put into is what you get out of it. You can put your heart and soul and even money all kinds of shit, but if no one buys you’re shit you’re not successful. So half of it is yeah people have to like it and want to buy it cause otherwise you ain’t going to be making shit. But if you go into a job in like psychology there is good money associated with and there is money for it, so for me that’s the most financially responsible decision. 

Were you born here in New Zealand?

Yeah I’m actually from Palmerston North, we lived briefly in Rotorua and then lived in Auckland up until now. I don’t really have a sense of belonging to a particular place, like Auckland yeah I grew up in the city and I have respect towards it but I don’t wanna live here, but also know that I’m very luck and very thankful for being in Auckland cause I don’t not think I could survive anywhere else. I know that sounds terrible but like Wellington I don’t like the atmosphere, Christchurch is the same. And anything smaller than that no thanks, we live in the city and I’m very thankful for that, we’re in the most established place in the country, and I’m grateful that I live here in Auckland. Im a mother fucking city girl. 

Do you wanna move outside of New Zealand then?

I know for a fact I do not want to stay here, I would actually love to live in Dubai or like Sidney or even London. Theres nothing really keeping me here in New Zealand, like I don’t have a huge family or anything and the opportunities here are very far in-between, cause I do feel like in New Zealand there’s a certain place you can end up, and no room for growth but I feel like in other countries there’s more opportunities, more money to be made and even more places you can go. So that my reason. 

Like you mentioned before about not having a lot of family holding you here, I know for a lot of people they are rooted to where they come from and have that connection what are your thoughts on that?

Yeah I just feel like this is where I live and that’s about it, I don’t see myself being here forever.

Do want that family aspect like in your future would like to start your own family?

I think so, I want to find a place where I can call my own, I mean you never know once you explore the world. Its quite interesting thinking about life like that. Yeah I’ve never realised how much your childhood affects you in your adult life until now. Especially of the way I am, that I’m very closed off. I do have that part of me that wishes for a family which I didn’t have growing up but then at the same time I’ve gone along time without it so why do I need it. Honestly I feel like would be a good parent but I don’t think I would want children, cause I would always try to do the best for my children and at the same time I don’t have real desire to have them. 

How are you with people Generally?

Oh still hate people, I think everyone is a piece of shit.

Final question of the day but what are your life goals? 

Having a job, be financially stable and just do the best I can for me personally. I know that sounds very boring and cliché but that’s the truth.