#but I read it in Hungarian and now I'm mad at missing out on this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

whumpshaped · 9 months

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who wants to hear the insane dream i had that im gonna write a drabble based off of

tw murder, gore, wacky dream stuff

i was at my grandma's with the two dogs, in front of her house, and suddenly i see blood on the little one's paw. and i'm like holy shit there's a little cut. it's bleeding. it's all over the place. and then somehow i follow the blood trail and my gaze lands on... guts. guts by the door. and blood all on the wall. and i follow it up. and there's a fucking corpse on the roof.

i tug on my mom's shirt and tell her holy shit there's a corpse on the roof. what the fuck what the fuck. we quickly try to get the dogs away from there. we grab them and go to another place away from grandma's. we distantly know it's the neighbour's doing because he's mad that we moved away and wants to kill our dogs.

we're inside now somewhere. i see the neighbour walk through the front door like he's a visitor, all smiles. i point and scream IT'S HIM IT'S HIM and no one really listens. they say they can't do anything because he's being friendly. then he walks past my mother and stops behind/hovering over me (i'm lying on the couch) and then leans down and tries to strangle me. someone gets him off me while i flail and try to hit and scratch him. when he's off me i hit him so hard that i actually knock him out cold. i hurt him some other way too but he's not dead just battered.

my mother is calling 112 (hungarian emergency number). i'm crying and saying he's still alive and if the police come and protect him then he'll stay alive and come after us again. parents don't listen and leave with the dogs in hand. i see the ambulances and the police arrive. i think to myself "i have a few minutes. they don't need to know what happened, it's just me here."

i start choking him but realise it'll take too much time. i think back to what i read abt snapping someone's neck but because of dream mechanics i can't gain enough momentum. so while grabbing his hair i push him face down onto the floor and step on the back of his neck/upper spine so hard i hear it crack. my shoe goes through the soft part at the bottom of his skull. there's brains and blood on my shoe.

i stumble out of there. i leave bloody footprints everywhere. i'm going insane, i just killed someone. i pass the police on the way down, they ask me "miss? miss? is everything ok?" they bring me outside in a blanket. i'm in a trance. i say it was self-defence. i know there's no way they'll believe that with how i brutalised the body. i get into an argument with a random old lady who makes fun of my mother for doting on the dogs. i tell her i just killed someone and i will do it again because it doesn't matter anymore. the police drag me away as she runs.

i wake up in a hospital next. its huge. no one tells me where anything is and i get lost immediately. i'm stumbling around in my hospital gown trying to find the room a nurse told me to find. no one gives me directions. i feel like i'm going in circles. i can't even find my room anymore. i wander into areas i shouldn't. i'm so fucking anxious. i just killed someone. why am i in hospital. where are my parents. where am i. why isn't anybody helping me.

i woke up without finding the room

#irlshaped #im not gonna say anything irl disturbing but lets just say it was difficult to live next to him #and my dream was a little warranted given how paranoid i was abt stuff he'd do lol #im glad we moved #murder #gore

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lazyrezi · 7 months

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Being homesick sucks so bad, but I know better now. I don't actually wanna live in Hungary, not in the current state the country is in, and besides, I wouldn't be the same person if we stayed back home so in a sense I am glad for how things turned out because I do like myself as I am most of the time

BUT

I do miss feeling like I belong somewhere. It doesn't matter that I have lived in England for over a decade. It isn't the same. I can mimic the niceties, and adjust myself to a different culture, and there are for sure certain things I prefer to england than to hungary infact many - but it won't ever feel like home. It's especially hard when there are people who don't want me to be here, and I'm just like !!!! do you think I wanted to be here, do you think I had any say in the matter? It's like when people ask why I moved to england after I tell them I have lived here since I was eleven. What do you think? I just went where my parents put me, and it just happened to be england

And now, honestly, it saddens me a little how disconnected I am from hungary for all its faults. I don't have any roots in that place, just memories. I wouldn't even know how to address people properly in hungarian anymore because there is a polite reserved version of "you" that we use, and I have no idea who has to be addressed in that manner. Official people? Sure. Old people? Eeeeh, maybe, BUT be careful. Some of them get mad about it, tho. Sometimes, I struggle to think of what something means in hungarian. I think in english, and I speak english and read in english, and I still don't feel like I speak it fluently. It's like instead of speaking two languages, I can't speak either, but I guess that might just be a glass half empty mentality on my part.

#personal #thoughts #homesickness #there is so little i know of hungarian traditions #sometimes i have to ask my mother if something we used to do was a hungarian thing or just our family's thjng

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archduchessofnowhere · 3 years

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Spoil me for what they are doing with Franz Josef's characterization in Sisi (2021), the people need to know!!

Ok since the people wants to know (?) here's a bit of a rant!

First of all I'll make the disclaimer that I'm by no means an expert on Franz Josef, all I know about him I learned it through books about Elisabeth + reading about his other relations (because tbh I find his family more interesting than him). So if there's some FJ expert out there than can give more insight on his personality feel free to add more/correct me!

The second disclaimer that I'll make it's that I don't speak German nor French (the Sisi episodes had French subtitles), but since Spanish, my native language, it's a bit similar gramatically I could grasp what was being said (emphasis in the "a bit" part, French it's the most hellish of all the romance languages). Still, this means that I missed a lot of the dialogues.

All that being said, let's talk about Franz Josef's characterization because it was... something. Spoilers for the first two episodes of Sisi (2021) below:

The first episode shows FJ executing Hungarian rebels, which is something that did happen (although I think he just signed the orders from his desk rather than ACTUALLY being at the place of the exectuions, correct me if I'm wrong). The show frames him as quite ruthless during these scenes, which he was. The repressions followed the 1848 revolutions were brutal and I'm glad that they didn't sugar coat it, but FJ does comes off as slightly sadistic in those scene, which he doesn't seem to have been. For him it was all about maintaining order and the status quo.

Now, the weird stuff comes later. He is, pardon my expression, a total dick. In the first scenes in which he interacts with his cousins he is quite pedantic and sometimes even kinda hostile? Like he is just looking for beef with Sisi, he even makes fun of one of her poems in a scene. Here the problem of not knowing French nor German comes in, because maybe I missed something of their first conversation that justifies him being Like That, but to me what Elisabeth said to him didn't seemed bad (she didn't insult him or anything). I don't know about other instances, but in Ischl in August 1853 the most impolite thing that the real FJ did was not paying much attention to Helene.

This FJ is also physically violent, another thing that the real Emperor wasn't (as far as I'm aware at least). There is a scene (the most wtf to me) in which he gets mad because of something about the Tsar and some war or something like that and he just. Randomly beats a soldier that was in the same room. It's SO RANDOM it was almost funny honestly, everybody was like "dude wtf that isn't going to help". This was the weirdest choice in my opinion, because I'm not sure how are they planning to handle this violent tendencies that they gave him, specially since there wans't any need to add that when his historical counterpart was a chill guy. We'll see how it plays out.

This series also has sex (not that it is the first series about Elisabeth to have it, look at the 2009 mini series) but since it's premiering on a streaming plataform it means that they can be a little more risqué with what they show. So of course they showed us FJ having an orgy! Kidding, they didn't, it's not that risqué (yet). But it is heavily implied, there is a scene in which Elisabeth is looking for him and she sees a naked woman coming out from his bedroom and for like a second you can peek him in bed with other women. And like the actual Franz Josef did have mistresses, before and after getting married. It's just that the man was absolutely discreet in his affairs, to the point that it's hard to actually link him with the women whom he allegedly slept with (we can't even say for sure if his life-long relantionship with actress Katharina Schratt was ever sexual because of this). So portraying him as a sort of fuckboy that just has naked women coming in and out of his bedroom with no regards of whether they're seen or not it's just not accurate.

And lastly, if there is a thing for which FJ it's popularly known other than singlehandedly starting WW1 it's his love and devotion for his wife. Which simply isn't here. All of their scenes up to the point in which he gives the bouquet of flowers to Elisabeth in the dance aka his informal marriage proposal are heavily charged with sexual tension, but nothing makes you think that they are in love. In fact, in the second episode, that covers the time of their engagement until their wedding, they barely interact. When the real Elisabeth arrived to Vienna to get married Franz Josef was so excited to see her that he just ran to her and kissed her in front of everyone. Here not only they don't show us that, his welcome it's actually kinda cold. This is definitely a deliberate choice from the writers, and while I don't really like the romantization of their relantionship, portraying FJ as physically attracted but uninterested on his bride doesn't sit right with me either.

This is all I can think off the top of my head, but basically they portrayed him as the opposite of the real Emperor Franz Josef. I said before in a post that I tend to find FJ quite boring as a character in movies/series about Elisabeth (Elisabeth das musical being the exception, but that's because all characters there are great), so I found this portrayal quite interesting for a change (this man is def not gonna bore us) but also worrisome. I'm all out for a protrayal of Franz Josef in which he isn't a cardboard Prince Charming, but going all the way to make him practically unecognizable from the historical figure ain't it either. Let's hope that they do a good job with him in the rest of the episodes because as of now his whole characterization it's the writers looking at the real Franz Josef and saying "I can make him worse".

#this characterization was also a bit shocking because Jannik was so sweet in his IG stories #he is like the opposite of the character he's playing lol (I know I know that's what acting is)#my guess it's that they'll have Sisi ´change him´ or something #anyway sorry for the rambling! I had Thoughts™#Sisi (2021)#franz josef i #asks

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invinciblerodent · 7 years

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Hi, I read your tags to this GoT post, and I have to sadly inform you that the show is wildly different to the books now, and that Baelish is at the moment still alive in the latter. (Also, on a different topic while I'm here: Vax is okay-ish? Don't wanna spoil you big time so I'm not gonna say more than that.)

Well, that’s a bummer. I knew they went way off on a tangent in the show (which was to be expected, I mean there is only so much book to go around)... I remember having stopped reading around the time Baelish started molesting Sansa so I was hoping that maybe this thing did come from the book, but alas, no such luck. :/ (Still gonna start re-reading it tho, I think... I haven’t read anything in Hungarian for a long time now, and I don’t really have anything to read atm either)

And thanks, I was hoping so! I’m up to episode 104 now so I think I’m up to snuff on most things Spiky Son for the time being, but I’m a little mad at myself for not having kept up over the summer... I missed out on such prime Drama, it’s kinda sad. :)

#personal #at least now I get to binge without having to wait for new episodes every week #one would think three hours would be enough to tide one over but it's surprising how short that can feel #Anonymous

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