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#but also she just doesnt really have friends full stop. she has colleagues and people she knows through work
renegadeshroom · 2 months
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thus far, my impression is that lucy has an better time empathising with other girls when theyre dead, which, dont get me wrong, is sad! but is also kind of hilarious actually. i guess its just easier to relate to someone when they cant really talk and say something that pisses you off lmaooo
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Evak Fics - Co-Workers
A list for coworkers/colleagues. Includes fics where they are not exactly colleagues or coworkers but related to them working together in a way.  
No Flirting in the Science Lab by smilexdarling (728 words) - Isak and Even fall in love at school, but this time, they're the teachers.
sweet creature by Skamtrash (1k words) - Along the lines of "We’re both baristas and sometimes I have trouble reaching for things and I show up to work one day to find a personalized stool with hearts and my name on it i hATE YOU but also thanks"
Pumpkin King by i_once_wrote_a_dream (1.7k words) - Isak grins, and taps the crown. “You’re the dumbest king I’ve ever met.” They work on a pumpkin patch.
White Elephant by HazyCosmicJive (1.8k words) - Vilde turns the office Secret Santa into a White Elephant Secret Santa.
stuck on you (what did i do?) by itjustkindahappened (1.8k words) - a teacher AU with zero teaching and a lot of crushing.
settle down by allyasavedtheday: Chapter 21 Model Au (2.5k words) - Isak was not prepared for a partner at this photoshoot. Chapter 35 Model Au Part 2 (1.9k words) - Prompt fill for where they’re doing like a couples photoshoot or something with Mikael and now they can’t stop kissing each other and everyone’s too endeared to be frustrated with them
in sickness and in health by wyoheartsmusic (2k words) - Emma is crushing on her teacher until she finds out he's very much in love with his husband. So this is in Emma's pov.
love doctor by princevaltersen (2.3k words) - “Looking through Tinder and rating guys in the paediatric unit is definitely something that you shouldn’t be doing at work.” Doctor au.
Email from Somewhere by wyoheartsmusic (2.4k words) - Isak gets an email from no one. He asks Even for help.
Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together? OMg by sugarbeat24 (2.5k words) - Isak and Even are chemistry partners. Fluff and chemistry jokes ensue. They are not co-workers but this is cute.
Colleagues? - SKAM Fic Week Day 5 by glbertblythes (2.6k words) - Isak and Even have been work colleagues for three years - a couple for two - and they like to call the office their "second home" for multiple reasons.
It Only Takes a Taste (When You Know It's Good) by shakespeareandsunshine (2.8k words) - It would be bad enough if it was just some mystery coworker stealing meals from the office fridge. Then Isak could hate their anonymous ass in peace. But no, Isak has a very good idea who the culprit is. And seeing the villain in the breakroom every day, smiling at Isak like he has nothing to apologize for was testing Isak's very limited patience. And also probably his self-control, although for an entirely different reason.
I Don't Date Cops by jinglebin (2.9k words) - Isak gets a new colleague and he's instantly smitten. Until said collegue tells him he doesn't date cops. b99 au
just a little bit out of my limit by theyellowcurtains (3k words) - Isak is pissed about where he got placed for work experience, that is until he meets his fine ass supervisor.
Pictures of You by MacksDramaticShenanigans (3.2k words) - The au where Even is a photographer and Isak is his infuriatingly gorgeous model
Can't We Be Sweethearts? by HazyCosmicJive (3.3k words) - in which Isak and Even work at a summer carnival together
EVEN by LiliMane (3.5k words) - A friends with benefits or kinda of an enemies with benefits type of situation. 'Whatever. People come and go. Sometimes they don't come at all. Sometimes they only send you money. And the ones that come don't stay too long. But that's how it is and there's nothing I can do about it. Not that I want to do anything about it.'
Adrian and Markus by ufologies (3.9k words) - Isak and Even go undercover on a case that unexpectedly ends up bringing them closer together.
i bet my life on you by janesargnt (4.8k words) - “Ok, so it’s settled then,” said Elias, getting to his feet. “If Bech Nӕsheim loses, he has to give Valtersen his car. If Valtersen loses, he has to go on a date in said car.” B99 au.
from my lips my sin is purged by slvtherxn (4.8k words) - After Even's last relationship with his coworker ended quite messily, his boss has forbidden him from dating any more of her employees. It takes him ten seconds alone with his new trainee before he decides to date him in secret.
Fuck Tha Police by MacksDramaticShenanigans (5.2k words) - “This,” Eskild said, spinning the photograph around so everyone could see it, “is a picture of the latest piece of vandalism from our favorite little street punk.” he finished with a heavy sigh. They are both cops. 
Thank You for Flying Norwegian Air! by orphan_account (5.4k words) - Isak and Even are both flight attendants who definitely don't have feelings for each other.
Don't worry, I've got you by everything_else (5.7k words) - Isak gets a job at a coffee shop.
18 Secret Santa Horror Stories That'll Turn Anyone Into A Grinch by GayaIsANerd (6.1k words) - Some secret Santa, some unfortunate google results, a whole lot of complaining and a heart full of gratitude. They work for a website that is like a Norwegian Buzzfeed but different.
i tried to be strong but i lost it (i knew it was wrong, i’m beyond it) by orphan_account (6.3k words) - Even has a thing for his intern, Isak has a thing for his boss, they're both a bit clueless and their friends just want them to get their shit together.
Crying Over Spilt Milk by MacksDramaticShenanigans (8.4k words) - The boys get their hands on Isak’s resume; Isak gets his hands on Even. Coffee shop.
my heart held a ledger by cynical_optimist, strangetowns (8.6k words) - A hitmen AU, wherein Isak and Even hate their jobs but love each other. This 'verse is now on permanent hiatus but it can still be enjoyed as a standalone oneshot.
Unclassified by bri_ness (9.7k words) - "Separate fiction from fact, romances from tragedies, the stories you want to experience from the ones you’d rather ignore." Isak and Even flirt in a library while having some deep thoughts about cataloging.
Merry Kiss My Ass (under the mistletoe) by TheGirlNoOneKnows5 (9.8k words) - Working in retail during the holiday season is a nightmare. Especially when Isak has to work right alongside his just friend and not at all crush, Even. Among freaky customers, secret santa presents and constant reminders of his one night of passion with Even, Isak doesnt know if he'll make it to the new year. If only he could figure out who was behind all the random mistletoes he keeps finding...
Is This What You Wanted? by cuteandtwisted (9.9k words) - Isak is filthy rich and Even is a hardworking male model who just got signed to his father's agency. Even gets an awful offer from Isak: one night with him in exchange for money, and begins to despise him. Little does he know that everything he thinks he knows about Isak is wrong.
sweeter than wine, softer than a summer's night by dewdrops (12k words) - Isak and Even work at an amusement park.
Valtersen's Anatomy by evak1isak (12k words) - Isak Valtersen, a nurse intern, happens to fall in love with one of the new interns, Even Bech Næsheim, from the mental health team.
when your heart is bleeding, i'm coming to get you by cosetties (13k words) - Isak doesn't exactly expect his hookup from last week to be the love advice columnist at the school newspaper he's working at. He also doesn't expect to fall even harder for him than he already has, which is a shame, really, since Even's crushing on someone else.
Ground Me by Bellakitse (13k words) - In which despite his father helping with rent, Isak still needs money and therefore a job. Isak gets a job at a cafe and meets a barista who's beauty blows Isak away.
i broke the world for us by cuteandtwisted (16k words) - Isak is 'heartless', young, busy, addicted to work, and incapable of committing. And Even is a repairman who fixes things around the office, who sees right through his smokescreen, and who might end up 'fixing' Isak's cold heart.
turn my blue heart to red by allyasavedtheday (16k words) - “Did I scare you?” Even asks teasingly, waggling his eyebrows as he leans casually against the counter beside Isak. “Never,” Isak scoffs, sending a fierce scowl in Jonas’ direction when he catches him smirking at them both. Jonas is under the ridiculous impression he and Even have a crush on each other which is not true. Doctor au.
I Just Want You For My Own by Twinklylightseverywhere (19k words) - Even loves the holidays, really. He loves spending time with his friends and family, drinking hot chocolate by the fire, exchanging gifts, the like. You know what he doesn’t love about Christmas time? Working in a fucking Post Office.
Taste by MermaidsandMermen (SophiaSoames) (21k words) - Isak Valtersen doesn't do feelings. He doesn't do relationships. He's a good boss, and he knows his shit. Then that asshat Naesheim swans in like he owns the bloody place and Isak's carefully managed world starts to fall apart. He's impulsive and stupid and childish and probably the last person in the world who should be allowed to run the Food and Beverage department at the Radisson Blu, however many brilliant ideas he has and seems to manage to miraculously pull off. It's a match made in hell. Enemies to lovers.
Dear Friend by bri_ness (26k words) - Isak and Even work together in a failing video store, and they cannot stand each other. Isak and Even both signed up for the Love Letters dating service, and they’re both falling for their anonymous pen pal.
is it gravity, or are we falling in love? by mels (28k words) - Isak works at a coffee shop. There's two things he loves about the morning shift: 1, how beautiful the city is when it's sleeping and 2, avoiding the hot guy who he happens to have a crush on. Until one faithful day, he has no choice but to work with his crush.
A Fucking Bet by Crazyheart (32k words) - Isak and Even are just friends. They make a bet and decide to fuck only five times and then go back to being friends again. Isak hopes that he might be able to fuck his crush out of his system, once and for all. Who knows what Even’s motives are. They work at KB
We Don't Need to Whisper by staylucky (34k words) - Isak Valtersen is a new teacher at Bekkulaget with an embarrassing crush on the Head of Upper Juniors, Even Bech Naesheim. His mentor, Christoffer, is constantly winding him up and Isak's beginning to doubt if teaching is for him.
(WIP) Magic Eight Ball by folerdetdufoler (35k words) - Last update Dec 2019. His cubicle is in the bullpen, but at the edge, across from the offices along one wall. When the Chief makes his announcements Isak stands near the middle, leaning against someone else’s cube, reading emails on his phone instead of paying attention. This time, though, the Chief is introducing some new hires to the office: a sports editor, a city editor, and a marketing head. When Isak looks up to finally acknowledge the new team members, he gets a good look at the guy who is going to make his life a living hell.
Blind by evak1isak (44k words) - Isak has sex in a dark room with a random stranger, but he only hears his voice. He hears that voice again: it's his new boss', one of Norway's richest men.
(WIP) Medically Speaking by Ms_Tassimo (44k words) - Last update Aug 2019. Working as a hospital porter was not how Even Bech Næsheim saw his life ending up. But here he was; mopping up sick after a stupid mistake. However, the hot doctor with the nice smell? That just about makes up for it. Too bad Dr Valtersen seems like a bit of an asshole with a hell of a chip on his shoulder.
I'll Be Coming Home, Wait For Me by dahlstrom (47k words) - The diner AU. Even and Yousef open a 1950s American-style restaurant together - Even is the creative genius in the kitchen, Yousef keeps the trains running on time, and Isak, Chris B, and Magnus are all along for the ride. Falling in love over food while Elvis serenades from the jukebox. Welcome to the Throwback Diner.
such a beautiful mess by skambition (48k words) - Isak works at Kaffebrenneriet to save up some money for a trip with his friends. Normally, working there is chill. Until Isak starts to work together with Even, an arrogant hipster with horrible taste in music, that keeps using the phrase 'sex hair' and is not only judgemental and stupid, but also so hot that Isak sometimes can't breathe around him.
On call by MinilocIsland (49k words) - Isak knows what he's meant to do in life - surgery. And he can't wait to show everyone that he's good at it. That is, if he'll ever get a goddamn chance. Not getting hindered by ridiculous, charming guys whose main advantage in the operating room simply is the length of their legs. Or - a hospital AU, with both Isak and Even as intern physicians.
Around the Corner (My Very Personal Christmas Shopper) by Crazyheart (51k words) - Isak (22) works in a record shop for Jonas. Isak’s best colleague and friend is Eva, who works in the shop, too. Isak is still in the closet. He says things as he thinks, though. Doesn't like snowglobes. Even (24) comes and asks for a job. The two get off on the wrong foot, although Isak finds Even irritatingly attractive. Additionally, Isak has just gotten a personal Christmas gift shopper.
Masquerade by Sabeley (53k words) - Isak and Even were best friends before one botched mission tore them apart. When they are assigned to go undercover as newlyweds at an oceanside resort where couples are going missing, can they put their differences aside for long enough to solve the case? And can they fix what’s broken between them before it’s too late?
(WIP) and it falls just where it needs to be by mmxii (53k words) - Last update Aug 2018. An au where isak works at a campsite and there’s suddenly a new guy joining their team. featuring a completely chill isak, a suspiciously quiet cat, and a three-year-old asking way too many difficult questions.
Caught in the Crossfire by CrochetingWords (65k words) - AU where Isak and Sana are partners working for the Oslo police department. Even used to work for the Oslo PD and is now Oslo's most well known private detective assisting the department in cases while also blogging about them. Isak is not impressed when he shows up on one of his crime scenes, because what other reason is there to publicly blog about your cases than being fame hungry.
(WIP) a careful hypothesis of the heart by StMisery (87k words) - 12/13 chapters posted. Isak and Even don't start out on the best of terms. Isak had been waiting nearly a year for the position of researcher to open up again. If he got it, he'd be working his dream job within one of the best biotechnology companies in the world. He applied for the position, heart in his throat, only to be passed over for the new recruit. When he discovered the new hire was also the son of the CEO, well, that was an unforgivable offense.
You Don't Even Know Me! by cuteandtwisted (101k words) - The one in which Isak and Even are interns who got off the wrong foot and don't like each other at all (except that they do).
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crowsent · 5 years
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did a text post bc the formatting is easier. also because so i won’t bombard you ( @yalltookmyurlideas ) with words
i basically created my son ethel when i was late middle school. almost summer. i was watching this one anime, servamp, and there was a character with a really interesting design of blonde hair with black streaks (his name was hyde) so my middleschool self i went “neat! i want an oc like that!” so i designed ethel based on that one anime character with weird hair. and that was his only defining trait for a while: weird hair
originally, ethel had white hair and genetically inherited black streaks (again bc i was in middleschool) and i created the first drawing of ethel (first pic i sent) when i was a freshman in highschool and the whiteness of the rest of his hair compared to the streaks is very visible.
at that point, my backstory for him was essentially “pale, loner, likes shakespeare, wears hoodie, highschooler” his shirt is just a really creepy smiley face bc i really wanted to turn up the emoness of his design. pretty sure he had a girlfriend or a partner whose name was like. carmen. or camillia. or something that starts with a c. she dies and serves as fuel for him to be angsty bc again. middle school
then i became a junior and looked at his initial design and went. “what if i make it darker?” bc i hit peak emo phase when i was a highschool freshman and was one step away from wearing mcr outfits every day to school. you know the one. that one jacket.
2nd and 3rd pictures i sent were the darker and gritter versions of ethel. hence the darker hair (you can barely see the dark streaks in the third photo) and edginess amped up to 11. his hair was like a chestnut brown at that point and the black streaks were less visible. he remained without a background for the most part but i added “girlfriend was killed, wants revenge” to his bio because i guess i wanted him to be even edgier? and he kind of becomes a hermit who hates society at the end of his character arc. just a grumpy nihilist with depression bc at the time i did not know how to handle my own mental health and it manifested as that.
i didn’t fully create a backstory for ethel until i reached my senior year. then i went fucking ham and changed his entire character. he went from “name is ethel, pale, loner, likes shakespeare, wears hoodie, highschooler, lost a girlfriend, wants revenge, really edgy” to Ethel Ash
so basically. ethel lost both parents when he was young and was put in foster care, bouncing from home to home without really having a place to belong. he didn’t feel wanted by anyone, didn’t have support from any adults in his life, started trouble just to get some goddamn attention bc he felt invisible and it only led to people labeling him as dumb and a problem. bc of the lack of support in his life, he fell in with the wrong people when he was in highschool. fights. petty theft. vandalism. that kind of stuff. sent to juvie a few times because he got caught. at this point, his hair was just plain brown and he doesn’t dye it until much later.
then he graduated highschool, but only barely. he’s pretty smart, interested in philosophy, strategy, math, and classical literary works (shakespeare which is p much the only part of his original backstory that survived) but his teachers essentially labeled him a problem child and gave him next to no attention. so he p much accepted society’s label that he’ll always be no-good and kind of ran with it.
he got involved in organised crime after he graduated and by organised crime i meant the mob. he became involved with the mob in california (where he lived) and bc he’s smart and well-versed in like strategy and math, he kind of picked up being an informant. like. he became that one guy people in the mob turned to for info. doesnt particularly like being involved in the shady deals that go down, but if he’s being an informant, he’s needed. and if he’s needed, he has somewhere to belong.
so he overworks himself. sleeps little, eats less, and essentially becomes a machine who haunts the local coffee shop typing on a laptop that’s protected from everything under the sun. he wears a hoodie over his creepy smiley face shirt which he just nicked from some random dpt store to keep himself from being seen by the security cameras and is essentially a fucking internet gremlin with next to no face-to-face human interaction.
but of course, this (coupled with vices like drinking and smoking) takes a toll on him and his body finally gives out and he collapses in an alleyway. not passed out, but definitely delirious from lack of sleep and food. which, considering his criminal background, would fuck him over if he got seen by some random person and reported to the police. or worse, sentence him to death if he got spotted by someone from a rival gang who would love to get rid of someone dangerous like him.
instead, he got found by c. i will call her camilla in this instance bc i genuinely don’t remember her name even though she got a big reboot to her character as well. ethel’s like. 20-21 at this point. camilla is 22 and is in a prestigious college taking a double major in english and food management. she’s not particularly rich, but is upper middle class with a single mother living in new york who fully supports her in what she wants to do and regularly calls her to make sure that she’s safe. and camilla, spotting this dude who looks like death incarnate, stops and makes sure he’s okay and ethel keeps telling her not to call the cops or call an ambulance.
and camilla, also very smart but has enough chaotic dumbass energy to sink a ship, takes ethel to her apartment where he devolves into a high fever and she helps him through it.
he gets better and is just ????? towards camilla because she’s nice to him even though he did nothing for her. he leaves her apartment as soon as he can, but they end up running into each other again at the fucking coffee shop bc im a sucker for cliche and they kind of clicked.
they bond over shakespeare together because camilla’s an english major and ethel’s a fucking nerd for shakespeare. he doesn’t tell her what kind of work he does, but she figures it out anyway because she’s not an idiot. there are bruises on ethel’s body and his eyes always dart around the room, looking for an exit. she lets him know that she knows, and she lets him know that it’s not his fault that the world let him down, that he felt that he didn’t belong.
and ethel kind of breaks after that? like. he very reluctantly works as an informant in gangs bc he’s chasing the high of being needed and wanted and this random college girl just up and tells him that it’s not his fault that he’s never felt warmth in his goddamn life?
she doesn’t try to change him bc she’s in college and she has essays to fucking worry about and ethel never even does anything like dox some innocent soul so while she’s kind of uncomfortable with ethel’s job she’s not like majorly concerned about it. its a rule that they never talk about ethel’s job when they hang out bc ethel doesn’t like talking about what he does and who he associated with because of the issues of his childhood and she really doesn’t want to think about the fact that there are a lot of bad people her best friend associates with bc he feels like he has no choice so it’s kind of silence on that topic.
but ethel kind of changes himself. he wants to change. bc hey. it’s not too late. he hasn’t done something like murder so if he quits and turns himself in, he can get like a few years at most and come out and live a better honest life. and like. camilla’s floored and flattered that her friend would do this because she inspired him to do better? and she’s like “all my life, i wanted to start my own cafe and when you get out, ill hire you. how’s that sound” and they’re like. both soft and ethel is fully fucking prepared to go to the police and out literally every single motherfucker he worked with and turn over a new leaf.
but then someone catches wind of what he plans to do.
and fucking murders camilla.
bc they thought that camilla was forcing ethel to change for her and the logic is that “if the person telling him to quit and betray us is dead, then he wont go through with it” but it completely fucking backfires.
and ethel goes fucking ballistic.
instead of just going to the police like a normal person and confessing everything like the names of the people he works with and letting the police deal with them. he just straight up drops off the grid. and fucking mails the goddamn police things like full names, addresses, safehouses, etc. he straight up obliterates the gang he works with by systematically doxxing them to the fucking police one by one, ruining all of their operations, and hunting them down one by one.
this is the point where he dyes his hair black, but only streaks of it to remind himself of camilla. camilla had planned on streaking her hair hair red bc it goes well with her black hair and ethel streaked his hair black to remind himself of her. he doesn’t turn himself yet in bc he doesn’t plan on doing that until he literally finds all of the men and women he’s worked with in the past and leads them to their arrest and it’s an ongoing thing because his former colleagues went into hiding so he’s having some difficulties.
but he still plans on turning himself in once he’s done. and once he gets out, he plans on starting that cafe. and he’s going to fill it with bookshelves of classical literature. and he’s going to keep living his goddamn life.
and i wrote most of his backstory in math class because i genuinely could not give a shit about math. and that’s ethel. my son. my child. my baby. i love talking about him. he’s precious and i adore every inch of him.
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larriefails · 5 years
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Amy 28nachos know claims they don’t know who’s behind babygate. They literally get more deluded by the day and they don’t even realise it.
I mean, let’s break this down
When Larries started with their conspiracy theory, their initial target was Modest Management. I think it was mostly because they thouht they’d identified one of Modest’s employees in the background of some pictures of Louis and Eleanor and she was like a “beard handler”, you guessed it, they harassed her to hell and back
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  They also believed Harry was crying here
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Because Marco Gastel, another Modest Management employee asked to take Louis and Eleanor’s picture
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Truth is Harry went outside without his sunglasses and the glare of the sun was hurting his eyes. He wasn’t crying. I don’t even know if that’s actually Marco taking their picture, not that it’d be in any way suspicious for Louis and Eleanor to ask someone to take their picture if it were
They spent all of 2012, 2013, and most of 2014 yelling Modest was closeting them against their will, they called them “management”
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This one is long but boy it was funny to read
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In late 2014 this wack ass theory started to crop up, I believe mostly from lapelosa, worshippedlove, stagtatto/handslows, and verily (all of them are either not Larries anymore or have abandoned their blogs), the theory was that Sony was on the Larry side and Modest was against them. Which is… incredibly amusing
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When Harry started being spotted with Jeff and his family more and more, certain blogs started pretending to have insider knowledge about how Irving was actually going to sign the whole band and save Larry. These blogs were diggingandfluff, srslycris, lapelosa, larryappreciation, and some others that escape me now. They were 100% sure and even kept at it all the way into March of 2017, just five days before Harry announced his solo debut
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Obviously Irving and Jeff didn’t sign the band. Jeff signed HARRY, which was something the “antis and hets” Larries love to disparage predicted all the way back to 2014/2015
So Larries now hate Jeff, they think he’s incompetent and the product of nepotism. They don’t admit to having been wrong for over three years, to have lied about having insider knowledge. Cris and Kati have justified Angela (lapelosa) by saying that she trusted sources when she shouldn’t have.. and you know what? I could excuse a naive Larrie trusting a “receipt” because it plays into what they want to believe and it doesn’t really have a big impact anyway, but Angela spent literal years saying over and over and over again that she knew for a FACT that Irving would sign 1D, that Harry wouldn’t go solo, that Louis and Harry were engaged, and Kati and Cris can play it off like “well we didn’t trust those things, she did” but they reblogged the posts and never raised their voices to say that they didn’t necessarily agree
The result of this is an endless wave of hate towards Jeff, who’s one of Harry’s best friends and welcomed him to his family, and also a lot of hate towards Harry from rads. Rads believe Jeff/Irving are actively working against Louis, that they’re the ones that designed “babygate” that it’s all to “lift Harry up”, that it’s putting the “burden of the closet” on Louis so Harry can be his “true self” and how incredibly unfair that is
But we’ll go back to this, first we have to establish who Larries blamed when the Modest vs Sony theory became visibly absurd and while Azoff was still seen as a good guy. Well, it was Simon Cowell
Simon became the root of all evil. Now, I don’t particularly like the guy, he’s shady and greedy, but he’s a music executive, they all are shady and greedy. That’s how they get to the top
For a long time the Larrie theory was that Syco was behind all of it, that they knew they were gonna lose the band because the original contract was ending and there was no way they were signing a new one. That Louis was the mastermind behind the band breaking away from Syco so Simon was punishing him with all the events of 2015. Then they found out that as they were cooking up those theories, Simon Cowell had sold part of his shares in Syco to Sony and now Sony was in charge. For a while, Larries continued to believe that Simon was punishing Louis, this time because he’d “cost him his empire” (Syco). Then they realized that made no sense, because Louis was still a dad and now Simon wasn’t even in charge, at least not completely, so though at that point they had already started hating on Sony, they laser focused their attention on them
That was the new evil that needed defeating. Sony, in general. But Simon/Syco aren’t good guys either and they also have a hand in this. But also Modest facilitated Sony/Syco’s plans, so they’re still evil. And throw Simon Jones PR there too, while you’re at it
To Rads, it’s mostly a combination of Rob Stringer (Sony’s current CEO) and Irving Azoff, with Simon Cowell as an evil puppet, and the reason for babygate is boosting Harry’s career. They say that Irving astroturfed (sent anons) to tumblrs to convince these blogs that he was their savior and he gaslighted the Larries into liking him only to BAM stab them in the back (instead of just admitting they were wrong and bought a bunch of bullshit from fake insiders and random anons on tumblr). This is really funny because there’s been a bunch of CEOs in Sony (like, three?) between 2012 and now, hell, Stringer wasn’t even CEO when “babygate” started
To Larries, it’s more unclear. It’s Simon Cowell but actually Sony? But Irving isn’t helping Louis either but Rusty and JGG were also evil and it’s just a giant salad. The reason behind it at this point is a big fat shrug. Punishing him because…? Some might spew a bit about Savan Kotecha and how Louis was a “thorn in their side” (so powerful yet so helpless) Some others will say closeting but in the same breath that babygate is still a thing even without Larry (which is all sorts of confusing)
In other words: their theories have never made sense, they’ve never stood the test of time. Time and again they’ve been proven wrong and at this point they don’t even know what they believe anymore. I fact, Twitter and Instagram will still have you believe the evil is Modest Management
—–
A small glossary of people and terms:
Syco was 1D’s original label. Simon Cowell owned it 50/50 with Sony Music. The band also had a deal with Columbia Records (a Sony subsidiary) in the US. In 2015, Sony bought a majority of Syco’s shares off Simon and they’re now the major owners of the company (which includes the music label and the TV production company behind America’s Got Talent, Britain’s Got Talent and the X Factor)
Irving Azoff is a very important music mogul who managed some of the biggest bands in the world (still does, actually). His son, Jeff, is Harry’s BFF and manager. Irving and Jeff merged their respective management companies (Jeff’s Full Stop and Irving’s Azoff Management) along with Brandon Creed’s management company and Tommy Bruce (Tommy Bruce was Jeff’s colleague at Creative Artists Agency, the world’s largest touring agency, they both left to form Full Stop in 2016)
Harry is currently signed to Columbia Records (both US and UK). He has a three album contract that he signed around June 2016
Louis is currently signed to Syco in the UK and Arista in the US. He was previously signed to Epic records. We don’t know any more details of this contract
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deepest-dope · 5 years
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Joliceur D. Grigori age 29
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“Father Iron” age 60
this is my ex cp9 oc, he is actually 40 for most of his time in my story that he spends with my main ocs but this is the gist of what he looks like under readmore if youd like to know more about him
Backstory: Joliceur D. Grigori was born on an island in North Blue to an absent father and a half dead mother, she did not survive long enough to raise him beyond his first few days of life. he was raised in a relatively wellfunded orphanage and was as well fed as a D. trapped in a house with 50 other kids who also very much need food can be.
he got a lot of supplemental food by either fishing and foraging it for himself or more reliably, helping old ladies out around the city he lived in and eating with them multiple times a day, occasionally becoming closer to them than their own children/grandchildren. he spent most of his days dogging after older people on the island, whther elderly fisherman at the docks or grandmothers in the market, he was for most of his younger childhood a much beloved pseudo grandchild to every over 50 citizen of his home island.
occasionally in seclusion hed sing to himself or whatever stray animal that happened by and stayed to listen, and dream of one day becoming a somewhat well known musician. sadly this would not come to be however after a small pirate crew targets his home, and ravages his city for 3 weeks until he gets well and truly sick of waiting for the marines to show and takes matters into his own hands. at the age of 8 he takes a boat out after them into the night and “resolves” the conflict. in other words he manges to beath captain and first mate in single combat and terrify the much weaker crew into taking him back to his island and turning their former superiors in. this incident is what getts him the attention of cipher pol 9.
a few months after the pirate business blows over he is “adopted” by a man named spandine, taken to the island guanhao and never heard from agin by any on the island in north blue. this is where is decade long career as an assassin begins.
he spends the rest of histime as an 8 and 9 year old mastering rokushiki at a prodigous rate and eventually is deemed ready to be sent on missions at 10. by his early 20s he is dubbed the human buster call, or among his colleagues buster. he is...not quite depressed but not happy either. he spends most of his work time in a semi dissociative state and his off time rifling through missions lookingg for a job that doesnt seem as taxing as all the rest.
age 27, he is sent on an easy undercover mission ment to serve as a punishment for multiple failures to take out gold roger and silvers rayliegh. it is as an orphanage caretaker and he is meant to keep watch for orphan dealers and slavers, as well as scout for new cipher pol agents on the side.
he is meant to take it as retribution for failure. the job is supposed to grate on his nerves. the lack of action is supposed to frustrate him. being forced to care for 50+ children of varying age and volume with only 2-3 adults to help him is supposed to stretch his patience paper thin. he is meant to spend a year there in penance and come back eager to succeed at offing his marks without fail.
the experience is more rewarding than any of his training or missions he has ever done in his life up till that point. successfully coralling children into meals or games feels more like victory then getting one over on rayliegh ever did. the admiration and attention of a small hoard of grade schoolers is more rewarding then praise from his boss and colleagues ever was. he discovers that he is very very good at teaching and his singing voice is even better than it was as a kid, having dropped into a surprisingly soothing tenor somewhere in his teens. he finds that he very much likes taking care of others.
he gains a reputation as a hard worker, kind older brother figure to any child that will approach him. he is for the first time in his life well liked for things aside from his combat ability. its a rewarding job and he loves it. it ends by the very next year.
he returns to his house on guanhao. he tries to go on with work as usual. he takes time volunteering to train new recruits on his days off. he tries to go back to his same old missions. its all very grating in ways it never used to be and he hates it more than before when it was all he did and he hadnt known he could still sing or soothe kids or love any of the people around him.
eventually at age 30 he is sent on a mission of high priority: hunt down the beginnings of a revolution in east blue and quash it before it can truly take hold. it should be easy enough. all he has to do is find the right kind of people, express the right opinions and eventually one of them will lead him right to the nest.
he finds that he rather likes it there. not quite as much as caring for the kids in the old orphanage. its both not quite as good and better than before. hes not quite as good with the adults as he is with children but he gets along well enough. the mission goes well and not-quite-as-planned. he ends up doing a lot to gain the trust of the revolutionary army and in the process ends up sabotaging the cipher pol and the marines in equal measure.
still he does pretty well and manages to gain the trust of the more prominent members of the army, namely one bartholomew kuma. he eventually establishes himself as friend, via calculated use of the truth in small increments. he tries not to outright lie to anyone, by omission of key details if he must.
he plays a role of marine deserter on the run for a time with his history he cobbles together with his favorite parts made real by believable dustings of The Bitter Truth.
i m gonna cut this part short. he fesses up to kuma and by extension the revolutionaries. he gives them the whole story and they help him quit his job by faking his death in a show of dragons power. set him up on a nice quiet little island in one of the blues where he gets to own an orphanage/school and raise and teach kids quite happily until my Protagonist washes up on the island at the ripe old age of 6 gets adopted by him and makes trouble for the whole toen until shes finally old enough to strike out on her own as a woman of the seas.
Personality: he is an ice king for most of his life in cipher pol right up until he is steadily defrosted by the kids he looked after and bartholomew kuma. age 35 onwards he is pretty open and honest with everyone leaving out his personal history and all that. hes quite jovial by the time my main character comes into his care. hes big on cognitive compassion after extended exposure to dragon and kuma and does his best to teach kids the Good Morals. though with a broad and loose sense of whats good and what isnt. as an assassin he doesnt have a particluarly strong set of morals. more accurately hes got 3 strong morals in total, which are slavery bad wipe slavers out on sight, rapists bad kill on sight, pedophiles bad kill them when you see them, everything else is try not to steal or kill people if you dont have to, he masquerades as a priest for most of his life with like zero guilt because he does not like women or men and doesnt want them hitting on him for reference. he has kids to focus on leave him alone he doesnt care about how you think he looks or how you want to date him he has 40 plus children with varying problems to look after he doesnt have time to sabotage your first date with him just to make you happy he at least ~tried~ bitch hes got ex slave children to work through therapy for.
Appearance: brown hair when young, salt and chocalate? in his 40s, full white by 60. grey eyes. aquiline nose. used to shave while working for cp9 stopped a while after joining up with the revoltion and has never shaved since. hes had that patchy ass beard most of his life at this point. used to wear his hair in a really tight bun in cp9. stopped wearing his hair up around the same time he stopped shaving. has never cut his hair in his life, but his hairs thick and curly as fuck so it usually only touches the edge of his mid back towards the end and he can wipe his ass without fear unlike some of my other ocs. was toned 20s to 30s but stopped caring so much about staying in perfect shape after taking over his orphange, so still definitely muscular but more dad bod when hes older. he retains tekkai and kamie throughout his life can still geppo and soru but its more straining than when he was younger. doesnt stop him from moonwalking onto slaver ships to steal their child slaves to raise as his own and leave the slavers for the marines.
Miscellanious: he collects rosary and gives a basque ring rosary from his collection to protag-chan before she sets out on her own as a good luck charm/memento. while half the reason he decided to disguise himself as a priest is to use the vow of chastity as a way out of romance he also chose it so he wouldnt have to pick out clothes every day. he doesnt officially run missions for the revolutionary army but he does do things like take in ex slaves and let army members use his church/orphanage as a hideout/waypoint. he rebuilt the church he operates out of himself. he has armament haki and observation haki by age 30. if he has conquerors hes never unlocked it. all his knowledge about priests comes from kuma and he just bluffs through anything hes not sure about.
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How much would insurance be?
"How much would insurance be?
im getting a 1993 eclipse for my birthday and i have to pay for my own insurance, so how much are we looking at here for insurance? i just got my license and have a c/b average for my grades. we are going through farmers but when i went to the website it wouldnt work.
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolutions.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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I'm thinking about getting my 16 year old son a 1997 Mazda Miata with about 110,000 miles. I have 3 cars currently with state farm. I do plan on selling one car to buy the miata. I have a clean driving record myself. My son in an honors student. He has completed drivers Ed. He hasn't gotten in any wrecks yet. Any idea of how much insurance would be a month for him?""
Benefits of life insurance?
long term benefits of life insurance
Would insurance be cheaper then normal for this car?
Would insurance be cheaper then normal for this car, its a 1993 ford mustang 4 cylinder auto, because its old and a auto 4 cylinder? Plan is to insure it with the auto four banger in it, then do an engine swap imported v6 turbo, with manual transmission, new drive shaft, differential, exhaust, etc.. what they don't know.. they don't know lol""
How much should i insure my house for?
My house and land (combined purchase) cost $185,000.I have stainless steel appliances, (combined D/W, microwave, fridge, electric stove, central air and water heater. Furniture (contents) not purchased as yet and will be added later. How much should i insure my house for? *Note -land is not to be insured* Any suggestions on what i need to do, types of coverage and flaws to look out for? THKS for your kindness""
Maternity insurance or no insurance?
i was on my parents insurance and now they are going to medicare. so i am naturally kicked off their insurance. they keep telling me to not get insurance for maternity because it isnt worth it and we should just pay out of pocket. but what if something goes wrong and im stuck in the hospital longer than i need to be? my husband doesnt have a job and only i work but i cant get insurance through their company. we probably could save up and pay out of pocket but would using insurance be much better? i myself wont have insurance at all once they switch over to medicare so i have to find insurance for both my husband and i. plus possibly adding on maternity. so maternity insurance or no?
How muh would cost me a car insurance? i havent bought the car yet. i am a new driver.?
How muh would cost me a car insurance? i havent bought the car yet. i am a new driver.?
Do U think it's fair women's insurance is cheaper because they have an 'innie' and men have an 'outie'?
I see just as many women being careless drivers as men. Why should their sex organs have anything to do with car insurance?
How do obese/fat people get health insurance?
I am self employed and live in missouri and am having trouble finding health insurance.
Is the amount you paid for your car covered by full insurance if an uninsured motorist hits you?
A friend was stopped at a light when some idiot hit her car and totalled it! Although, she has full coverage on the car(she just recently finished paying off), the idiot who hit her did not have any insurance! The total she paid on her car was $13K. The insurance company only wants to give her the blue book value of $3000! The situation is even worse because the offending party have no insurance! Is the insurance company trying to rip her off?! What should she do to get back at least close to the total amount she paid for her car?""
Can an uninsured person get affordable dental care?
I have a deep cavity in my tooth. It's really starting to hurt me. I know it needs drilled and filled, but I barely make enough money to pay bills, let alone dental care. My job doesn't offer dental insurance, either. Is there anything I can do?""
What is the best and cheapest car insurance for me?
Okay so im 18 and im buying a brand new car all myself in about a month maybe less a kia sorte 2013 and of course i will need full coverage. I have good credit and i dont know anything about all this stuff i could use some help please...i just want to know what is the best choice for me i live in brownsville texas if that helps..
Is Bluecrossca a good medical insurance company?
is Bluecrossca a good medical insurance company?how much it charged in a year?is there any health insurance company better?anybody gets any suggestion?
How do insurance companies categorize cars?
How do they determine which cars is going to cost more than others... Which factor of a car means you're going to have to pay 1000 more than another... And why so expensive? After a while surely you've paid more than the cars worth?
Is there a cheap insurance company for teen driver?
My mom cant drive... so she doesnt know much about insurance. Im about to get my license and I was wondering if there's a type of insurance that is cheap and not too pricey... specially with a mom who doesn't have a high paying job?!?! I live in Texas if that helps
What is the average price of teen insurance?
What is the average price of teen insurance?
""My mustang was totaled, and now has been auctioned ,how do I get the miledge for the Insurance company?""
Im having a time with my insurance company,my mustang was torched by some thuds,I guess fro fun,It was a 2004,fresh off the show room,Im the only owner,I had very low miledge, I didnt drive her much due to taking care of my disabled husband, 40 th anniversary special, pony package and a few more items on it,red,beautiful car well taken care of. This is the problem, My insurance wants proof of the miledge,I kept my documents in the car, they had someone pick up my car and had it auctioned off,now I need to find out where the car is,I sure it was sold for parts, I need the miledge off the car,proof of the miledge.Insurance is offering me a lower price because a vehicle of that year compared to their reports have alot of miledge,well mine didnt.I am so upset because they never had someone come and look at the car,they could have gotten the milege with a little work removing the screen, can some one give me some advice,thanks""
Teen Insurance on Geico?
My parents have geico. I have a 3.65 gpa, i make good grades, no tickets, nothing. i was eligible for my license in november. what kind of discounts can i get ? what kind do they offer ? btw, i'm 16, going on 17 [not to sound like that commercial or anything] i'll be 17 in july. thanks !""
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im getting a 1993 eclipse for my birthday and i have to pay for my own insurance, so how much are we looking at here for insurance? i just got my license and have a c/b average for my grades. we are going through farmers but when i went to the website it wouldnt work.
Term Insurance vs Whole Life Insurance?
1. What is the difference between a term insurance and whole life insurance policy? Which policy is suitable for what kind of people? 2. What are the exclusions for term insurance policies i.e. death because of some reasons (for e.g. suicide) that does not entitle for insured amount? What are other such reasons? 3. Does term insurance cover accidental death, death because of terrorist strike or natural calamities?""
Cheapest auto insurance in Florida??
Just moved and need some ideas for shopping around for the cheapest auto insurance in Florida.
Who has the cheapest liability car insurance in California?
I live in the South Bay, and I am purchasing a car along with insurance. I just need a cheap insurance company because I will not be driving the car for long, as I am going to the Air Force at the beginning of next year.""
Car insurance for age 17?
Well going sound awkward but i want a car without out parents knowing, been working for 2 years got enough money can prove to insurers where i got the money from im 17 and is it possible to get insurance at my address (real address where i auctally live) but i want the paperworks to be sent to another address or they contact me by email because family wants me to get a car when im 25 however im going uni so i really need a car also im not going to any fraud everything will be legit just need to make sure if i can insurance and only i know about it thanks""
Best maternity insurance?
I was wondering what the best health insurance out there for maternity and child birth is? Right now I have pretty basic health insurance, as I am very healthy and don't need to go to the doctor often, but once I get pregnant (we're going to try in the next year or so) I plan on switching my insurance so that I'm paying the minimum out of pocket for all (or most of) those doctor's visits and labs, etc. What is the best provider/what type of coverage should I be looking for? How much did it cost YOU to have a baby (the actual medical bills) and how much should I expect to pay each month for my premium?""
How much does my car insurance go up if someone sues my insurance for getting hurt in accident?
my daughter was driving my car and got in accident (her fault) and the girl with her is suing, will my ins go up a lot more than just the four surcharges for an accident?""
Cheap auto insurance for 18 year old?
Cheap auto insurance for 18 year old?
Where is the best place to get an online car insurance quote?
Well, I just got a new car and need to get insurance. I was wondering what the best site is for insurance quotes and where I can get the cheapest insurance? Thank you in advance!""
How do you buy insurances?
I don't care which insurance it is, you look up complaints there is a looooong list about all of them.""
Insurance for moving to USA?
Myself and my partner are moving to the USA. We will need travel insurance and some health cover, and although we will both have health insurance with our new jobs, we will need cover for the first month and I am looking to see if I can find a travel insurance policy that provide the cover. Trouble is, the standard travel insurance I have seen so far assume that we will still live in the UK and that we just want cover for a months 'holiday'. One way travel insurance seems to stop 24 hours after we land in the USA Does anyone know of a one way travel insurance that will cover us for the journey and the first months stay""
What is the cheapest insurance for an 18 yo first time car?
i asked my uncle, he said it could be around $300 for 6 months, idk if it is true or not. but are there any cheap insurance? idk, please help. if i want to buy a new tundra, how much it does it cost?. i work full time. $3k/month.""
Do I have to pay more for my 16 yr old to drive?
Do I have to pay for a different auto insurance policy (that costs alot more)here in Oregon to allow my 16 year old son to drive our vehicles? I was told by a former ins agent, this is a scam to get more in premiums, when it is not required by law.""
Insurance quotes for a 2006 Mitsubishi Eclipse ??
i'm 16 and i need to know where i can go online to get a quote, without people calling me. i just want to know how much it's gonna be every 6 months or every month, etc. online .... THANK YOU ALL !!!!""
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I'm about to be 16 and I'm a total Sci-Fi geek. I LOVE Back to the Future and ever since I've seen it I've wanted a DeLorean. Well we know someone who could get us a new one cheap, so that's no problem. My only concern is the insurance, and my parents aren't up for that. I don't know how much it is, but if someone our there is actually credible on the topic, could you give me a reasonable answer with a high and low. Thank you to all who answer :)""
What is a good health insurance for a college student?
I am a college student looking for good health insurance. I understand insurance is not cheap but i was wondering if someone could help point me in the right direction!
How much have your insurance rates gone down since the affordable care act (0bamacare) has passed?
You know , making it more affordable to keep the coverage you want ? Bonus question . How has the Medicare your parents paid into their whole lives improved their ...show more""
Insurance for 2001 celica?
considering everything else equal (age, experience, w/e), how is the price of insurance for a 2001 toyota celica compared to cars of the same price range? eg accord, sports cars, compact cars, midsize""
Why is health insurance so high?
I live in Idaho, I'm a college student, work part time and my wife works full time. We bring home about 1900 a month. Rent is 540, my car + insurance costs 150, gas is about 175 (my wife commutes to work) and groceries are about 300 every month, phone + internet + electric is 175. I have to have medical insurance while I goto school except it costs $250 a month. HOLY CRAP it's alot, and I still have to save for tuition, we usually only have 200-300 a month left over. Why is health insurance so high and what can I do to get it lower?""
Who insures a teenage driver when the parents are divorced?
We are getting ready to add my stepson to our auto insurance. He does not have a car yet, but when he does get one it will be in his father's name. His mother as far as I know has no auto insurance. She drives a car that belongs to her parents and I assume they insure it. This is the living situation and what is in place legally at this time. The mother is the primary custodian of the child. However, he resides at our house 85% of the time. My husband has educational gaurdianship so that he can attend school in our district. I have researched this and what I have found is that the parent who has primary custody is the one who adds the child to insurance. Then I also read that the parent with whom the child resides the majority of time carries the child on the insurance. I am just trying to prepare and educate myself before having to deal with the ex-wife. Money is not the issue as the child will be required to work and pay for his own insurance (our house rule). Has anyone ever dealt with anything like this?""
Car insurance question?
I live in indiana and my friend lives in texas. He has car loan for a car but is going to let me just take over the payments. The loan will still be in his name but I will be paying for it. Can I get the car insurance under my name??
How do I find out my car insurance rates before I get a car?
I haven't bought a car yet because a lot depends on how much insurance will be. I'm a 27 single female living in Boston, I've had a license since 18 but never drove so it expired and I recently renewed it. I don't have anything on my record. I would be the only person on the insurance. I went online but they required the make and year of your car to calculate the rates.""
Insuring A Range Rover For An 18 Year Old?
Ive been driving for a year now, and i have 1 year no claims bonus. (aged 18 and male). I am going to university for three years, and for the first of those three years, im NOT on the insurance. How much do you think a Rangerover sport (second hand costing about 9,000) would be costing me in UK insurance third-party? my current car was fitted with this mileage thing, which also lessens the amount i pay (NOT A BALCK BOX).. but roughly do you know? thanks.""
What is the cheapest DUI insurance in california for a male when i become 18?
I just want liability for other drivers and i will get a crappy car so i dont need coverage for it. & I am 17 now. Am i able to get insurance if i don't have someone 18 or older sign for it? any ideas? Thank you
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My wife is 18 and got her license a few months back. What would be the cheapest car and of what year range, if insured in the USA? Which insurance companies insure 18 year olds, as I am aware most dont.""
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I got into a minor car accident, it was the other party's fault but he doesn't have car insurance. Because it was a rental car, my own car insurance is not going to cover. ...show more""
How much would insurance be?
im getting a 1993 eclipse for my birthday and i have to pay for my own insurance, so how much are we looking at here for insurance? i just got my license and have a c/b average for my grades. we are going through farmers but when i went to the website it wouldnt work.
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/albemarle-north-carolina-cheap-car-insurance-quotes-zip-teresa-styron/"
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themoneybuff-blog · 6 years
Text
The death of Anthony Bourdain: Thoughts on productivity, pleasure, and depression
Shares 141 Warning: This is a rare GRS post that contains salty language. If you dont like salty language, dont read this article. Anthony Bourdain killed himself Friday morning. So what? you might be thinking. Hes just another fucking celebrity who didnt know how good he had it. Maybe youre right. But his death has weighed heavy on me all weekend. On Friday morning, as I wrote the weekly Get Rich Slowly email, I thought about Anthony Bourdain. On Friday afternoon, as Kim and I worked in the yard, I thought about Anthony Bourdain. On Friday evening, as we soaked in our new hot tub with a friend, I thought about Anthony Bourdain. Yesterday, I thought about Anthony Bourdain. Today, I thought about Anthony Bourdain. Now Im writing this article as an act of catharsis. Maybe itll help me to stop thinking about Anthony Bourdain. The Depression Trap I believe Anthony Bourdains death touched me deeply for a couple of reasons. I was a huge fan. Since listening him read the audio version of Kitchen Confidential a decade ago, Ive loved his work. Parts Unknown was probably my favorite travel show: raw and real and filled with food. Bourdain connected with everyone he met. His joy for life was contagious and his mind was sharp.Like Bourdain did, I struggle with depression. All my life, Ive experienced periodic descents into darkness. The first time this happened, I missed five weeks of sixth grade. In the nearly forty years since then, Ive developed a variety of coping mechanisms but they dont always work. In recent months since the middle of March the darkness has deepened and I dont know why. (And just as I missed five weeks of school back then, Ive been unable to get my work done in the present.) Let me make it clear that I am not suicidal. Right now, the biggest symptom of my depression is my inability to get shit done. But whereas suicide seems strange and senseless to most everyone else, depressives understand the appeal even if wed never consider it personally. One of the many stupid things about depression is that the condition doesnt care how awesome your life is. It doesnt care how successful you are. It doesnt care how much money you have. Depression is not rational. If it were, itd be easy to think your way out of it. Paula Froelich, one of Bourdains ex-girlfriends, put it like this:
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Bourdains death didnt just make me introspective. It also led to a couple of interesting conversations about pleasure and productivity and about what really matters in life. The Productivity Trap Friday afternoon, I received email from a GRS reader well call Michael: Im sure you saw Anthony Bourdain killed himself. This to me was a telling quote: When asked during a recent interview with The Wall Street Journal whether he ever thought about stepping back from the breakneck pace of a job that kept him on the road 250 days a year, he replied, Too late for that. I think about it. I aspired to it. I feel guilty about it. I yearn for it. Balance? I fucking wish.' Obviously I didnt know Bourdain personally, or even know much about him as a public figure, but I think that mentality is common: Once youve become successful, the thought of ever ratcheting back seems unthinkable. Obviously, suicide is rare, but I think this mentality is common among successful people they stay in an unhappy status quo simply because they have so much invested in their self-image and public perception of themselves as successful people. I think Michael is onto something. Ive seen this in my own life, in the lives of friends and family, and the lives of colleagues. They fall into what you might call the productivity trap. (Heres an article I almost linked to the other day about the productivity trap: If youre so successful, why are you still working 70 hours a week?) I have one friend, for instance, with an enormously successful career. He has a popular blog, a popular podcast, best-selling books, and even an annual conference that attracts attendees from across the planet. Yet hes never satisfied not with himself nor with anybody else. Hes always looking for ways to make things bigger and better. He seems unhappy with who he is and what he has. Hes written publicly about his struggles with mental illness, but he hasnt revealed its full effects. Its not just my friend. Its me too. I see this pattern in my own life, and its something Ive deliberately decided to approach more mindfully. Why do I want to have a hot tub or travel to Ecuador? Why did I repurchase Get Rich Slowly and how often should I publish here? Why do I keep agreeing to public speaking gigs? Do I really want these things? Are they aligned with my personal mission statement? Will they really make me happy? (Sometimes the answer is yes. Sometimes the answer is no.) In his email, Michael continued: I think this is really the key to personal finance and early retirement actually stepping back and figure out what is important to you, and doing it, even if it seems like youre turning your back on a great career, or a nice house or whatever. That is the hardest part, which keeps most people in a life they dont want. They think I went to school X or work at company Y, so therefore I must live in this city or have that job or have that wardrobe and never ask themselves what, as individuals, makes them happy. The Pleasure Trap As our email conversation continued, Michael brought up another interesting point. He noted that our culture and this is especially true in the world of financial independence blogs is obsessed with experiences, such as travel. Yet in many ways, collecting experiences is no better (nor any different) than collecting things. Heres Michael again: [Bourdain] had the ne plus ultra of modern life: rich, famous, a job that 99% of the population would kill for, saw everything he wanted to see, ate everything he wanted to eat, Im sure slept with tons of women if that is what he wanted, took all the drugs he wanted. You name it, he had it. And, he hung himself in a hotel room in France, a twice-divorced man a continent away from his daughter and girlfriend. Im not bagging on him. I just think he illustrates something: A meaningful life doesnt consist of a series of cool experiences, or traveling or eating cool stuff. Bourdain did that stuff to an incredible degree, and it still didnt make him happy. I think that is what our society has forgotten. I feel like were always being told we should move a lot, travel a lot, be vaguely or overtly dismissive of the town or state we were born in, move for college and never move back homein short, basically be a free agent with fewer and fewer personal connections, or weaker connections. And, we get this [higher suicide rates]. [] I think this relates to personal finance. There is always this thought that thrift requires these huge sacrifices less travel, fewer new experiences, fewer new restaurants. But what if [these arent sacrifices]? What if irrespective of cost, that stuff isnt really a source of happiness? I mean, people accept that with respect to possessions nobody says a Cadillac or a 5000-square-foot home is the key to happiness but many, many people in our culture think new experiences are crucial to a happy life. It may be the opposite the continuity and free-time to invest in loving relationships may actually be the key to happiness. I told Kim about my conversation with Michael. Its the pleasure trap, she said. People fall for the lie that momentary pleasure equals happiness. But pleasure isnt the same as happiness. Shes right, of course. Happiness is like planting a garden, watching it grow, then enjoying the harvest. Pleasure is simply eating the fruit. Happiness is deeper and richer and longer lasting. Pleasure is fleeting; happiness is not. But happiness involves time and work and patience. Now, Ill admit: Im guilty as anyone else of falling into the pleasure trap, and in oh-so-many ways! I have to make a deliberate effort to look past immediate pleasure in order to consider long-term happiness. This often requires enduring unpleasant activities. Do I really want to go out in the cold and the rain to dig in the mud and plant my garden? No, not in this moment. Id rather sit in the hot tub. But if I dont plant the garden, Im sacrificing greater happiness in the future. Final Thoughts While I think that Kim and Michael are onto something the productivity trap and the pleasure trap are both real and both problematic I keep coming back to Anthony Bourdains battle with depression. During my recent road trip through the southeastern U.S., I talked with two friends who are fighting depression in their own lives. One friend has a spouse who cannot shake the condition despite counseling, despite exercise, despite a loving family. The other friend fights the condition himself and its led to weight gain and addictive tendencies. Therapy has helped some but its not a cure-all. As for myself, I havent yet returned to therapy although Im considering it. (Not so long ago, I spent a year working with a therapist to find ways to cope with anxiety and depression. It helped.) I want to stress again that I am not suicidal. But the depression has most definitely affected my daily existence, including my relationships, my health, and my work here at Get Rich Slowly. It sucks. It sucks. It sucks. But I know that itll get better someday. Shares 141 https://www.getrichslowly.org/death-of-anthony-bourdain/
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General concepts of health insurance?
"General concepts of health insurance?
What are the general concepts of health insurance? What arevarious types of private health insurance options? Difference between them?
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I went to Allstates and GEICO to get auto insurance the first gave me cheap liability and very expensive collision and the other is the opposite ,can I liability insurance ( bodily injury and property damage) from allstates and collision from GEICO ?""
""I am 17 years old and don't have health insurance, what do I do?""
I am 17 years old and don't live with my parents. I am living with a friends Aunt while I attend college. Because I don't live with my parents I can't be on their health insurance, I've been ill and worried but avoiding the doctor because any medications would cost a fortune. All my prescriptions used to only be $15 now they are dramatically raised. I don't have a job either. What do I do? Is there any type of thing I can qualify for? Any feedback would be much appreciated!!!""
What is with health insurance?
Americans and whatever other country has health insurance. what happens if you don't have health insurance? What is health insurance? Why do you need it? I live in Australia and I don't understand why you need health insurance when we don't.
My job took me off the schedule because im pregnant?
im 4 months pregnant . and have very hight risk pregnancy. and mt job requer havey lefting . so my i get a doctor note that i cant left more than 8 pounds, my job put me on leave off absents without telling me. i talk to my HR and they told me i can apply for short term disability now than maternity leave when i have the {babies} my question it I have my insurance thought liberty mutual . would i be approved? if now what to do i cant Afford to not get paid?""
Are vauxhall corsa's cheap on insurance?
Are vauxhall corsa's cheap on insurance?
Do I need to be insured to test drive cars I want to purchase?
I am looking to buy a new car, so far I have test drove 3 cars this week and my colleague at work has just notified me that I am probably breaking the law. I am buying a car either through auto trader or ebay (Fiat Stilo incase anyone is selling) so most the sellers are private, I currently drive a VW Polo fully comp, does that insurance not cover me to drive someone else's car even if they are in it ? What about their insurance, does that not cover me ? And if I'm not insured, what would I have to do to make sure I am not breaking the law ? A temporary insurance costs me nearly 100 as I am quite young, its an absurd amount to pay just to test the car (about 10%) and its completely ill advised to buy a car without first test driving it ? Regards Omar*""
About how much would my USAA auto insurance cost?
I am 16 and I will be getting my license... I passed drivers ed and get good grades I wanted to get a quote but the USAA website wanted me to give info such as social security and etc, and I do not feel comfortable giving that info. Can anyone tell me a rough estimate of what my auto insurance might cost per month? how much extra will my parents pay a month and how much my car insurance would be? just a rough estimate""
How much is a monthly car insurance in new York ?
I'm leasing a car n I need to know what is the average monthly cost in NYC. Thanks.
General concepts of health insurance?
What are the general concepts of health insurance? What arevarious types of private health insurance options? Difference between them?
Do insurance companies insure themselves?
My wife and I were wondering this this morning. If an insurance office is broken in to/has a fire/etc, do they cover themselves?""
""Cheap car insurance companies for a 18 yo girl, in the UK?""
I have been driving for over a year now, and need to renew my car insurance. Do anyone know of any cheap company's? I am finding it very difficult! I even have 1 years no claim. Please help me!! Thanks""
How can i get Health insurance?
Hey looking for advise on how i should go about getting health insurance. I'm 18 turning 19 in March my father is passed away and i live with my mother we recently moved to Arizona I'm from Massachusetts i knew about mass health but never had to deal with anything due to always being insured by my mother and fathers works. Looking for what i should do Also i do not have a job as of right now I'm looking for health insurance so that if i get hurt while doing things such as snowboarding an break a bone or something i don't have to pay a 12,000 bill when i have no money Thank you for any help""
What is the average house insurance cost in Canada?
for example for 3500 sqft with 2 stories
Why are there so many car insurance ads on SKY?
really ruins the mood when watching say MTV or Bravo! Is Car Insurance and Debt Busting Loans the only thing worth selling????
Teen Girl Insurance on Car?
I will be 16 in October, I am interested in a 1999 Mitsubishi Eclipse GSX, I have a 4.0 GPA. How much would that cost? Ball park? Thanks :)""
Best auto insurance company for young adults?
So after working hard in college and multiple internships, I am going to graduate college in three years and best of all, managed to score an incredible job with Boeing aerospace division in this toilet of an economy. I even managed to use most of my savings to buy an apartment. However, after all this, I realized I was missing a crucial thing. A car(i live far from work). I only drove in my highschool years, so I am completely oblivious when it comes to insurance rates and what not. So my questions are as follow: 1.Is it better to have an older car or newer car as far as premium amounts go? I used to fix cars with another mechanic, so im not worried about an older car breaking down. 2. I am 20 years old, in your experience, what company is the best for young adults? I have no criminal records and no accidents from my highschool years. 3. How much insurance should I buy? In other words, should i just buy coverage for the other person if i hit someone, or should I buy coverage for my own car as well? 4. Just generally, in what range should I expect to pay? Just curious, I have to get it whether I like it or not. 5. Finally, any good tips on bartering with the insurance company to get a lower premium? You dont have to answer all the questions, feel free to just answer one, any help is appreciated!""
Car Insurance?
I got a ticket 15 monthes ago and didn't told my parents, but they aren't that hard on me but the car insurance is going up now why is that.""
What is the easiest and most profitable insurance to sell?
Is life and health a harder sell than p&c? Also what company is best to work for, Aflac, Farmers, Allstate, etc.?""
What kind of health insurance should i get for my husband and I?
I work one job 35 hours a week.. and I need health insurance... with us being so poor we all still need to go to the doctors. Even if there is a package deal where health, dental, and vision were together or something ideas??""
Car insurance young driver need help???
need my insurance to be 1500 or less ....any insurers would be a great help a few months ago a had a 1000 quote fully comp now i cant get lower than 2000. need help.
How do I get individual health insurance quotes for North Carolina?
I am currently living in New York State and am considering moving to North Carolina. How do I get individual health insurance quotes while still living in NYS? All the websites ask you to provide a North Carolina address which I do not have yet. Thank you.
How can a 16 year old get cheaper car insurance?
Since I'm a minor, I guess I have to put my name under my mom's name making her pay so much more because I'm under her name. But, a friend once told me, if I say I live with my older brother, it will become cheaper and it goes under my name. Is that true?""
""I want to learn how to drive, 22 and i dont know how to drive ?
I will be turning 22 in a couple weeks and i still dont know how to drive . Nobody ever taught me or had the time to teach me but i really want to get out and start learning how do i go about doing this ? Should i find a friend with a license to teach me or take a drivers ed class ? What would my best option be to start learning how to drive and get a license ? Because i see other people who never took classes and just learned from someone else.
What can I do about this insurance/car accident?
Recently, my husband was hit in my car while going through a green light. The girl didn't see him as he was going through and turned and hit him. Now we are fighting with her crappy insurance. They are trying to say we are 25% liable and they will only pay 75% to fix our car. They are trying to say my husband should have been more cautious going through the light. It was a green light! So, what, we are supposed to treat stoplights like stop signs now? How ridiculous. My question is, what can I do to get my car 100% paid for and do they even have the right to claim who is liable or not? Isn't that the cops job? My husband decided to be nice and not have the cop issue her a ticket. Was that a bad idea? I mean, she turned into him. How much more cautious could my husband have been? He hit his brakes but by that time it was too late. This insurance company is saying he should have tried harder to avoid the accident. What else could one possibly do!?""
Where can I get the Cheapest Car Insurance Quotes at Online?
How can I find the cheapest car insurance for me? I just got my first car and I know I will prolly pay a lot for insurance but how can I check for deals? I am on a really tight budget but at the same time, I only have a second-hand car so I gotta make sure I get insurance that will pay out if I need to make a claim. Where can I get the cheapest car insurance for my car at, and how reliable is it if I need to claim?""
Health Insurance?
Will my health insurance cover going to a psychiatrist regarding anxiety issues?
Does ca auto insurance cover motorcycles?
Like, as long as you have some form of insurance is it okay whether it is for cars or motorcycles? I have auto insurance for my car, do i need seperate insurance for a motorcycle?""
""What's the cheapest car insurance company in Fresno, CA?""
What's the cheapest car insurance company in Fresno, CA?""
Will getting a refund on extended warranty and GAP insurance cause my interest to go up?
I just purchased a used car with 30% down payment. I noticed they charged me for GAP insurance and extended warranty and I asked them take it off. They are arguing getting a refund on them will cause my interest rate to go up because they used the purchase to bargain a lower interest rate. Is this true? If so, do I have to accept the higher interest rate? They say I can't return the car because it was already signed for but I don't want to buy at a higher interest rate either.""
How much iz insurance for a 19 year old?
car iz mitsubishi lancer evolution 2003
Is it covered under insurance?
i want to change my old cavities to the white cavities to match my teeth. i hate to open my mouth in front of people because i have so many cavities. the thing is, is it covered under insurance and is it expensive?""
How much is car insurance for a brand new HS 250h Premium Luxury lexus?
I'm 17, female, I live in St.John's NL and might do driving school""
Is group insurance cheaper than individual policies dollar for dollar?
I know they give discounts when husband and wife enroll but if you have the same insurance carrier,united of omaha, is the group going to be cheaper necessarily?""
Average car insurance cost for a 21yr old?
driving for over a year, with just a small car, any ideas? Cheers""
General concepts of health insurance?
What are the general concepts of health insurance? What arevarious types of private health insurance options? Difference between them?
Whats the best life insurance.?
i am looking for a good life insurance but the market is so full and confusing.
AA insurance terrible?
AA insurance sent me a renewal letter for car insurance. The bill was just over 900 pounds. Bearing in mind for years i just paid and didnt shop around . This time i had more time on my hands and i shopped around, the only thing i changed was no claims protection. Apart from this it was identicle. I went on compare the market.com and found esure who quoted me 425 pounds has anybody else found the AA to be expensive. The AA said they had shopped around for me and they had given me the cheapest quote. But i got my quote in around 8mins and 500pounds cheaper.""
What happens if you got into a accident and have no insurance?
I was driving my girlfriends truck and got into an accident.. I didnt know she has no inaurance. The officer made an accident report then let us go. What happens next does she eventually get a ticket oe me. and is it criminal offense she ia crying cause she feels so bad. Does she lose her license or me cause i was driving? And who will get sued? Please answer all questions. If i had known she didnt pay her insurance i would have paid it for her.she is mainly worried she will go to jail
What are the best health care companies?
I'm in my early 20's, have no real health issues, and take no meds. I can not get affordable insurance through my job, and i just can't go without it anymore. I'm trying to find not just the most affordable plan, but the best company who wont try to screw me over at every turn (which i know is hard to find). I did some searching on my own, but the only list i could find of top rated companies were all state specific.""
Accident and auto insurance question?
If I get into a wreck that wasn't my fault without insurance and I come home and say go to safeauto.com and get insurance will I be able to claim that on the accident report? Will I be safe from losing my licence?
Where can I find a comparative listing for auto insurance rates?
Where can I find a comparative listing for auto insurance rates?
What is the cheapest insurance to get if you have a DUI and live in Cali?
What is the cheapest insurance to get if you have a DUI and live in Cali?
How can I get my car insured?
I am the only driver within my household and am 16 i need my car insured in order to drive it and keep my job...insurance companies want to charge me 1400 A MONTH for my car due to age...is it possible to put it in someone elses name that does not live on resisdence??....any help would be great!!
Insurance related question?
I am planning to take a savings plan insurance in SBI Life Insurance for tax benefits and for my future benefit also. Is SBI Life Insurance reliable or shall i consider for some other insurance company? If you think other Insurance company, please suggest some good company names. And do you think my option for saving plan is good or shall i look for some other plan? Your suggestions are welcome and thanks for your time.""
Can I sue my auto insurance company for an at fault accident with an insured driver on my policy?
I was a passenger in my own vehicle during a near fatal accident where the driver, who is an insured driver on my policy, had road rage with another driver. The driver ended up receiving a DUI as a result of the accident. I tried to sue my auto insurance company for under/unisured motorist, but since the accident was a sole vehicle accident, the insurance company would not settle for my injuries. Due to the nature of the accident and the result of the driver being intoxicated, the auto insurance company accepted liability for the driver's negligence and tried to settle for $4,200. I ended up hiring a lawyer because I have an unpaid hospital bill in excess of the settlement amount. In addition, I have had complications from my injuries and need lifetime treatments. We have an arbitration hearing next month, but the driver is only named on the lawsuit, not my auto insurance company. This accident happened in Pennsylvania and I had full tort, stackable, 100,000/300,000. My question is...why is the insurance company not insuring the named insured driver (who by the way happens to be my husband), on my insurance policy?""
Can anyone help with car insurance?
I'm 17 and I passed my test about 2 months ago. I am looking to buy a Peugeot 306 and insure it with my mum as main driver as she is not a main driver on any another policy then have me as named driver. The only problem is that she doesnt have any No Claims Bonus as she is named driver on my dad's insurance. Could anyone tell me which company might be cheapest to do this with please?
Cheap Cars for cheap insurace??????????
I am 18 a new driver and i am looking for a used car with a budget from 400 to 600 iam trying to find a car with a cheap insurance and are Diesel cars cheaper to insure????
Will 1 speeding ticket make insurance companies deny you coverage for a job?
I know my question was a little confusing, but I wasn't sure how to word it. In other words, about a week ago I got a job with a local company called Rental City. It's like a ...show more""
Pay car insurance if I'm going to be out of the country?
Hello, My car insurance is going to expire in 4 days and I was wondering If I should simply not pay it. I'm going out of the country for 1 month and will not be driving my car. I don't think that Progressive will let me push back my payments. Would it be cheaper or easier for me to just simply not pay, and get insurance when I return? I pay 5 installments of $50. If they charge a fee or something less than $50 it seems like I should not renew my policy. I've been on hold for a long time on the phone, and want a game plan when I finally talk to someone. Thanks for any advice!""
Need help finding helath insurance?
Looking to find a new health insurance policy, one that covers more, like office visits, lab testing, and prescription drugs. I'm 22 female from mn, employed full time, none smoker. Whats a good company?""
Does my son have to be put on my car insurance?
My son is 16 and he is driving my husbands car and my husband tells him that he cant drive the car everyday because he is not on the insurance. Does he have to be on the insurance?
How come insurance is almost double for 2 cars.?
I can't drive 2 cars at once, only one at a time. Therefore, the odds of causing an accident are the same as if I had one car. Why don't insurance actuaries know this?""
Insurance questions for a minor?
I'm about to have a son, I'm 17 I'm on my dads insurance my boyfriend is 20 he's on his parents insurance. Who's insurance does my son go on, or does he go on medicaid? If you just want to insult me for being a young mom keep it to yourself it doesn't hurt my feelings and you're wasting my time.""
How much will my insurance be on a BMW 114i?
Ow much will my insurance be roughly on a brand new BMW 114i 25K, I'm 17 yrs old and I think this car is a 1.6l, please tell me how much the insurance will be for me, I need a price with and without my parents added to the policy, my address is 2, bd8 0bw. 2012 plate 3/5 door hatchback Petrol""
Car insurance ? Can my girlfriend be a policy holder on one car and named driver on another?
Can my girlfriend be a policy holder and main driver on her car and a named driver on mine? Will this affect her insurance in anyway?
How can I get dental and medical insurance?
I turned 18 back in 2011 and now I'm not on my mom's dental or medical insurance. How do I get dental and medical coverage?
Insurance quetsion?
i was in a accident totally the other drivers fault (she admitted to it). my car has damaged front bumper and headlight along with other stuff around those parts. it looks like nothing major. i went to the hospital one time they said i had my muscles and ligaments in my neck strectched. im trying to found out is that enough medical trips for me to get a rather decent settlement. im nt able to go to the doctor because i work all the time an i cant take time off or i will be fired. her insurance is state farm. on the average how much can i get???(pain and suffering)
Where can I get the cheapest car insurance for 18 year olds?
I've looked on gocompare, moneysupermarket and comparethemarket. Does anyone know any insurance company/comparison websites that are good? Preferably recommend ones you have used yourself. Thanks""
What is the best life insurance to get and where?
I'm young but not in the best health, I'm looking for life insurance, something affordable and legitimate""
Is insurance expensive in San Diego?
Looking to move to Cailforna .How's the insurance out there?
General concepts of health insurance?
What are the general concepts of health insurance? What arevarious types of private health insurance options? Difference between them?
What Car insurance is the best and cheapest?
First time car buyer, 23 years old, interested in Honda Civic. What Insurance would be the best and cheapest with this information?""
Whats the average cost of health insurance(+dental)?
I'm 19, female, never had any health problems, and married(dunno if any of that matters haa.) I'll be getting my own plan for the first time, I'm just wondering whats the average cost, what are some good providers to use that aren't too expensive, and does health insurance come with dental or is that a separate thing? Thanks!""
How much does car insurance cost for a 16 yr old in oregon?
i get my license in a few months, what am i looking @ for insurance costs. oregon, age 16, adding to parents insurance, state farm insurance, good grades, drivers ed, a car with no crashes but alot of milage from 1990-2000...under 7k$$. around how much will my insurance per month cost?""
How much would the insurance cost for a 16 year old in tx driving a dodge challenger?
With a good student discount and a defensive driving course. Also how much would it be for a charger
What cheap classic car would you recommend for a 17 year old?!?
I turn 17 in October and so i have began to start looking for cars and the insurance that it will cost me. from looking on go-compare, i've found that the cheapest cars to insure are old classics like the VW beetle or Rover mini. I would really like to know if there are any other cool looking classic cars out on the market that would suit a 17 year old? they will have to have a small sized engine as well. recommendations would be great! thanks""
Which quality insurance company has the cheapest price?
I need two crowns, 6 extractions, 2 fillings, and then partials to fill in the gaps. I know this because the dentist just told me yesterday.""
I'm uninsurable! How can I lower/get car insurance?
I am a insurance company's worst nightmare. 17 year old male, I have a job in a rough town, no experience and to top it all off I only finish work at 11pm so ill be driving at night. I have not passed my test yet but need the car for work. Whenever I use go compare or compare the market I am either quoted a stupid amount 10,000+ or I am uninsurable. I cannot get a box monitor installed because the car needs to be home at 11and I don't finish work untill then.""
Person A driving person B's car and hits my car. Who's insurance pays?
Person A driving Person B's car. Person A backed up into my car. Who's insurance pays? Person A because he was driving? Person B because it's her car? Or my insurance because I have full coverage? What are the consequences if I file through my insurance company? Will my insurance go up even if it's not my fault? I think not but if you know for sure that would be helpful. Any and all information is helpful!! Thanks!
Car Insurance Toronto: Which car insurance company is cheap ? I am a first time car driver.?
I got a G2 lincence recently. I buy a car. Now i am looking for insurance. can any one recemande which car insurance is cheap. thanks for ur interest.
Is healthcare on medicaid health insurance decent?
my father has to take an array of medications every day for heart problems and high blood pressure. will these be covered? i hear many doctors don't take payment from medicaid, and that poor healthcare is offered through the program, instead of private practitioners, one must go to community clinics, etc. should my father go on medicaid, or is it not worth it?""
Where can I find cheap young male car insurance on any car?
I'm a 17 year old driver who has just passed my test and when i go to quote myself on any car its either unquotable or something like 20,000 a year or something stupid even with immobilizers trackers parked in a garage etc and when i put my mum as the main driver (she has 5 year NCD) it only dropped like 200 so i don't understand how people are getting it below 10000 let alone 2000. I haven't bought a car yet but could somebody tell me what is the up most cheapest car to insure and all the combinations that make it cheaper. Once more annoying is that I live in a pretty nicer area so you wouldn't think it would cost as much compared to other people but they seem to get theirs cheaper.""
Bike insurance for a cbr 600?
i live in halifax nova scotia in a rural area and was woundring how much it would cost just for plpd i allready have a bike witch is a 200cc and it cost me 300 and some odd dollors for the year woundring how much it would be for a cbr 600 year around 1998-2005 and i took a drivers course for bike and car and been with my insurance company for about a year now for my bike would they give me any speacials. also i have gotten no tickets or crashed got a clean slate.
Cars for teens with good gas mileage and cheap on insureance?
im looking for a reliable car that gets good gas mileage but cheap on insurance. any ideas??
Minor car accident with no car insurance?
I was in a minor car accident last month and i was the one at fault. I was backing out of a parking space and a lady with her son who was driving pulled up behind and was going pretty fast. I left a minor dent in the front part of her car and a few scratches. She has been harrassing me since the day it happened and finally she contacted me and i agreeded to pay the cost of the damage because i didnt have insurance at the time. But then she sent me a sheet with the costs of the damages, 1,000 dollars!! I think it's way over priced and a lawyer doesnt want to do anything about it. She keeps calling and harrassing me and threatening me with the law. what can the law do? what can the judge do to me in court? will i go to jail?""
Should I buy insurance?
Should I get the insurance offered when I book our next cruise? What is it for?
Getting married and need help with insurance?
My parents have Cigna insurance. I understand that I am no longer a considered an eligible dependent when I am legally married, but I am also a full time student. Which status is the dependent variable when considering eligibility? If I'm married AND a full time college student, does that mean I can't get coverage?""
Cheap car insurance quotes??
I've heard 'Co-op' is a good place to get cheap car insurance from.. However i've tried to get a quote of their site and it seems they want you to have a car already chosen or something. I don't have a car, im 18 and i neeeed one. Can anyone help me!? I'd like a fiat 500 orrrr a silver fiesta. Thank you!""
No claim bonus on previous car insurance?
HI I WOULD BE GRATEFUL IF YOU COULD ANSWER ABOUT CAR INSURANCE CLAIM BONUS DID 2 YEARS INSURE WITH FIRST CENTRAL INSURANCE FROM DECEMBER 2010 TO DECEMBER 2012 THEN STOP DRIVING AND NOT DRIVE FOR 13 MONTHS DO I STILL HAVE CLAIM BONUS I WAS TOLD YES IT EXPIRE AFTER 2 YEARS IS THIS TRUE? I TRY CONTACT MY PREVIOUS INSURANCE ABOUT THIS BUT NO REPLY YET THANK YOU
How much do you spend on your car payment/insurance per a month?
and is it a used or new car?
Any good dental insurance?
We live in the awesome country of America, oh wait, healthcare here sucks, so we need insurance. My family and I need some type of dental and health insurance, any good ones?""
Best health insurance in colorado?
Best health insurance in colorado?
What is a good health insurance company?
My husband is self employed and I don't work. We are looking for health insurance. Blue cross and blue shield is the only company I really know of. I know there has to be more out there. I would like to get basic coverage in case of emergencies and maternity coverage as we plan to have kids in the next year or two. Thanks.
Waht is the best motorcycle insurance provider for ontario?
i have a 1000cc irohead sportster 1984 and i live in ontario. i was wondering what the best insurance provider would be thanks!
What is the best car insurance company?
I need to know what the cheapest car insurance is and is also reliable and still covers almost anything...(if such a thing exists) can someone help me?
Insurance for Bentley GTC Continental?
I (sadly) dont have one of my own - yet (im working on it..) Just out of general.Theres another new footballer on the go,hes only 21 & recently purchased a bentley.Approx. for someone in there early 20s how much would insurance cost? (I understand hes a footballer,he earns more a year we all do lol..) Thanx in advance xx""
General concepts of health insurance?
What are the general concepts of health insurance? What arevarious types of private health insurance options? Difference between them?
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/do-i-need-insurance-have-drivers-permit-cassiopeia-najera"
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viralhottopics · 7 years
Text
We’re very close. We couldn’t not be: the secret to a friendly divorce
This month sees a spike in couples filing for divorce, many of them vowing to stay friends. But is it really possible or worth the pain?
A few weeks ago, a man came to stay at my house and he and I made so much noise at 1am that we feared we might wake the children. The next morning at breakfast, we had to explain ourselves and apologise.
The man was my ex-husband, and he was telling me an anecdote in the early hours that had us both in fits of laughter. We separated in January 2009, and divorced a year later. He has since remarried, and lives in another city, but often comes to visit our three teenage sons. We have spent several Christmases, Easters and birthdays together.
If liking and being nice to your former partner is the essence of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martins conscious uncoupling, it could be said that my ex-husband and I are living that dream. In the three years since they announced their much-ridiculed approach to family life and relations post-marriage, the idea of the friendly divorce has become increasingly mainstream. As Helena Bonham Carter said of Tim Burton, her former husband of 13 years, I think well have something very precious still. Actor Kate Beckinsale is so friendly with her ex Michael Sheen (the father of their daughter) that shes often seen hanging out with him and his girlfriend, Sarah Silverman.
And then theres the rise of the divorce selfie, taken outside the courtroom, showing smug ex-marrieds beaming away together in the spirit of a bright future ahead of them (with a caption such as We smile not because its over but because it happened). January traditionally sees a spike in calls to family lawyers from couples wishing to uncouple. The first question for many is: can you really have a happy split?
Divorce coach Carol Sullivan thinks so. She runs Divorce Negotiator, which operates throughout England and Wales. Unlike solicitors who represent the separate parties, Sullivan assists both husband and wife and, to stop the escalation, maintains transparency between them. She claims to save a typical couple 80% of the cost of going to a solicitor, and 50% of their time. So far, she has helped more than 1,000 couples, many of whom apologise to each other and go out for drinks despite their decree nisi.
People are doing divorce differently that is, better, Sullivan says. They are more aware that the only winners are the lawyers, and bitterness and vengeance dont get anybody anywhere.
Of course, most people would say theyd like to divorce well, at least in theory, usually for the sake of any children involved. But, in practice, anger and hurt usually muddy the waters.
I am insufferably smug about what my ex-husband and I have managed to pull off, but I wont pretend it was instant. The parting of the ways was painful beyond anything I had ever experienced, but we managed to sort out our financial affairs and living arrangements ourselves. A lawyer friend kindly did the essential paperwork for both of us. We never went to court, and our whole divorce cost 90. Eight years have since passed, and time has done its cliched but excellent bit in terms of healing. Rancour has been and gone, leaving all the things we liked about each other in the first place: enjoyment of each others company, great communication, affection and respect. Plus all the things we have together accumulated over the years, namely three great boys, an important shared history and the recognition that prolonged bitterness eats away at people and benefits nobody.
Its difficult, but this approach is becoming more common. I have a friend whose husband went off with another woman. After her shock and anger subsided, she had him to stay with his new girlfriend several times, and even took coffee up to them in the morning. (Talk about forgiveness.) It was nice for the kids to see I was accepting of her with him, she tells me. I liked him. I liked her. She says she didnt indulge in any power play, at least not consciously.
The prevailing view is that good relations benefit the children, if you have them. Phyllis Maguire-Harrington, 33, is a carer and nursery manager. She sees many families who arent amicable, which has only compounded her belief that friendly divorce is vital even when she found out, three years into their marriage, that her husband had been unfaithful.
It hurt massively, she says now, but our daughter is my world. Even though I ended the marriage there and then, and never once wavered, I always spoke to him and let him see her. My daughter deserves both parents.
There was no court case. The same lawyer represented them both. It was all their own terms; he just did the paperwork. Her ex-husband has exactly the same parental rights as she does.
The couple, both from Wokingham, met at a bowling alley in their early 20s. Kieran Harrington, 35, remembers that she started dancing and I thought, wow! He found her generous, with a lot of time for others. Phyllis says she is very energetic, while Kieran was very chilled and happy to go along with anything she threw at him. They married in 2008 and separated in 2011, when their daughter was a year old.
To be brutally honest, I cheated on her, Kieran says. Its one of those things I cant explain. It was nothing she ever did or didnt do. When she found out, she went ballistic. Id never seen her like that. I deserved it. I tried to get her back, but eventually knew it was hopeless.
It was complicated, Phyllis says, because in September 2007 he had a brain haemorrhage and that altered him. Kieran says that, although he doesnt remember being tempted before the brain haemorrhage, it is nonetheless too easy an excuse. Either way, he says, the two flings with colleagues were a huge mistake. Initially, he says, there was some nastiness from Phyllis, but then it went away.
For a long time I wanted him to be my Kieran, Phyllis says, but he had changed. After the brain haemorrhage, I became more like a carer. I knew he was no longer fully in control of himself, and a psychologist told us he was never going to change. I had a baby and couldnt live like that any more, the suspicious wife.
The divorce came through in December 2014 and Kieran, a prison custody officer, now lives with his father and sister. He and Phyllis still see each other most days, and go on holiday together. They took Erin, now five, to Disneyland Paris for new year and glamping in Cornwall. Neither has another partner.
I did for a while, Phyllis says, and he and Kieran accepted each other, but he wanted to get married and I didnt. I think Kieran put me off for life, she laughs.
These days, Kieran confides in Phyllis about dates and she gives him advice. He admits hed like to get back together with her, but knows thats never going to happen; he also knows that it could all have been very different had Phyllis not been so forgiving. I could have lost a lot more, he says. As it is, the friendship we have having a laugh, watching movies together, sharing a bottle of wine when the little one is asleep is the best I can hope for, given Id still like to be married to her. Ill be a little bit jealous when shes with someone else, but I messed up, so I havent a leg to stand on. Im grateful Ive got this much and know we will be friends for life.
Phyllis agrees: Were very close. We couldnt not be, after all weve been through. But the divorce was the right decision. Would I get back with him? Never. Hes not the man I fell in love with.
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Specialist family lawyer Peter Martin has been practising at London firm OGR Stock Denton for 40 years, and has worked with thousands of couples. In his experience, roughly 25-30% of couples are able to be friends afterwards, and its not always to protect the children. In some ways, it is easier for couples without children to stay friends, Martin says. Once the finances are sorted out, they are able to get on with their lives. They can become friends again, because they no longer have any pressures on them.
On the other hand, Martin says, couples without children have less reason to stay in touch. Those with children have to continue to communicate, and they are more likely, because of that, to rebuild a friendship. A forced friendship, because of having children, often develops in time into the real thing. Its the sort of thing I see a lot Im thinking of the first dance of a divorced couple as parents at their childs wedding.
Barry Rutter, 69, an actor, is founder and artistic director of Northern Broadsides, a touring company. He credits his ex-wife, Carol, 65, a professor of Shakespeare and performance studies at the University of Warwick, with their excellent relationship after nearly 20 years of marriage and 20 years of divorce. She credits him with not forcing her and their girls out of their home. You can be vengeful and angry and selfish and do all that stuff, Carol says. All those ugly emotions you can keep up for years, but thats just destructive.
The couple met while Barry was on tour in America in 1976. She, with her Californian chutzpah, came backstage to congratulate me, he says.
He had the tight curls of a Raphael angel and a boxers nose, she says. He was bolshie, challenging: a Yorkshireman. Everything around him was different and new.
She moved to England a year later, and they soon married. Their shared passion meant they always had things to talk about. Briony was born in 1982; their son, Harry, two years later, but he died from cot death aged just 98 days. Barrys support in the aftermath made Carol feel an overwhelming sense that our marriage could survive; how amazing it was that he could love me that much.
When he set up his own company, Barry was working so hard, Carol says, I think he started kind of shifting. Rowan, their younger daughter, was four. Carol had a full-time job at the university and Barry came home wanting shiny faces. There was a gap. It was, Barry says, a build-up of events, which I took to be a diminution between us. And my own restlessness. The cliche: the grass is always greener. The official divorce says adultery, but it is never as simple as that. I didnt fall in love, but I was distracted.
Barry says it was raw. I remember we met in the garden shed and she asked what I wanted, and I said all of my freedom to roam, and yet the home and family. It was a stupid, macho, dumb attitude to have. It was my folly. You make choices, and choices can bite.
How did I come back from that? Carol says. I went to see a divorce person who said dont fight, its not worth it; work it out between you. I was able to keep the man separate from the actor and, little by little, the birth of our three children, the death of our son, those things you shared, count. They represent the real core values of you two as people, as against the accidents of making bad decisions.
Barry says it was entirely Carols leading that set them on the footing they are on today. Its got to be about the future: I remember her saying that. I myself didnt have it in me to come up with anything like that. Its a testament to her. Id hope she is my best friend. Shes kept the name [Rutter]. Ive always been rather pleased about that.
These days, their daughters are both married, and they still see each other at least once a month and speak often. Carol goes to watch her ex-husband perform. She says he is perhaps better at expressing his emotions on stage, but he always made her laugh off it, and always will.
Tara Saglio has been a couples and individual psychotherapist for two decades. She believes that most divorced couples have to experience a period of proper separation before they can actively be friends again. As a generalisation, I think it takes five years for people to settle post-divorce, she says. It helps if both parties have reached a point where they can feel equally content, instead of one being miserable and the other blissfully loved-up with a new partner or even of one being blissfully alone and the other in a less than ideal rebound relationship. The chance of friendship depends on the emotional maturity of both parties. In my experience, Saglio adds, it is usually the couples for whom the passion has dwindled or gone, and who dont feel so betrayed or rejected, who can be friends. Sexual rejection or broken trust can skewer things.
Facebook, Instagram and so on can make it harder for couples to move on. Of course, social media always presents a happy if not idealised picture of everyones lives, Saglio says. It is hard to separate fully while having ones nose rubbed in the exs new life. On the upside, technology can be a force for good, depending on how it is used. It makes continued contact quicker and easier. A text or email is more emotionally distant than a face-to-face or phone conversation. A bit of a barrier can be a good thing.
Resolution is an organisation of family law professionals that promotes nonconfrontational divorce settlements. Nigel Shepherd, its national chair, says that avoiding unnecessary argument demands a shift of perspective: By nonconfrontational, we mean focusing on what is required for the future, as opposed to getting stuck in what happened in the past. A Resolution survey found that 90% of cases settle without a judge.
Current divorce law doesnt exactly help people to remain friendly: unless former couples are prepared to wait for two years once they have separated, they have no option but to cite adultery, unreasonable behaviour or (admittedly rarely) desertion on the paperwork. Resolution believes that a couple should be allowed to divorce simply if they think the marriage has broken down, a so-called no-fault divorce, and are lobbying for change. The current process, which pushes the majority into blame, often against their will, can really put the spanner in the works, Shepherd says.
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Businesswoman Sarah Bevan never lost sight of the fact that she wanted to retain her friendship with her husband, Tim, despite her deep sadness when their marriage came to an end. We were originally friends, and I wanted very strongly to maintain that for the greater good of our family, she says. We always had a lot of fun and we managed to retain that.
Sarah, who is now single and in her 40s, lives in south London, and is setting up her own company. Tim, 50, the MD of a packaging and design company, lives in Hove. The pair met at work in London and married in 1994. They have three teenage children. The friendship was overriding in the relationship, Tim says. Any other issues were put to one side. Thats what carried us. But then I started to do better in my career, which made me more confident and, when other possibilities presented themselves, I was weak enough to succumb.
It was 2004. He admitted he was having an affair (not his first); they finally parted in 2005 and divorced in 2011. Tim says he walked away with two pictures, a stereo and a pink tea towel.
There were no lawyers, and nothing on paper; money was divided according to their own agreement. The divorce cost 560. Rather than argue in court, he wanted Sarah and the children to have a home and security. He credits their friendship today to his ex-wifes openness and strength, and thinks they have both pulled off something pretty extraordinary. According to Tim, both realise they are not going to be jumping into bed with each other again, but hopes theyll be best friends for life.
Shes currently offering me advice on cholesterol, he laughs. Shes still got my back! It helped that neither of them slagged each other off to the children. The family has a group chat online most days and he visits them every Tuesday for a curry evening.
There were phases of extreme anger and massive hurt, Sarah says, but even though hes certainly a difficult character, I love him and we hug and say we love each other. He remains an important part of her life, all the more so because her parents died recently in tragic circumstances. As Tim says, that focused everyone on whats important.
Despite everything weve put each other through, Tim says, weve come out of it. We will be sitting in our deckchairs in 30 years time with our mint tea, looking at the children, and thinking, Weve done good.
How to divorce well
1. Slow down. Reactive decisions are usually bad ones; if you are feeling hurt, or have just discovered your partner with someone else, dont take any legal action until the red mist has gone.
2. Try to be rational. Going through a separation is highly emotional, but try to put that to one side and sit down with a neutral party with the aim of making sensible decisions. Remember that you loved the other person once.
3. Decide on your priorities. More often than not one of the biggest goals is to move on with your life with your dignity intact. The more amicable the divorce, the quicker it will be over, leaving you to get on with the next chapter of your life. It is also a lot cheaper.
4. Go to a good family lawyer. Find a family specialist committed to working out solutions as amicably as possible and in a way that will preserve your relationship with your spouse.
5. Expect a big change in your lifestyle. Your life is going to change dramatically; being shocked by this can often lead to resentment and breed conflict. Your partners life will be changing, too, and they will have the same problems adjusting as you are. Yes, really.
6. Dont do it the celebrity way. You dont have to fight dirty to get the best result in fact, judges will frown upon it when making their settlement.
7. Dont listen to your friends. Turn to them for emotional support but remember that every marriage is different and every divorce is different. Just because friends think it is a good idea, doesnt mean it is.
8. Be the bigger person. Even if your nearly ex is trying to play dirty, dont rise to the bait. It is easier said than done, but I often hear from people who, years later, regret that they allowed themselves to be brought down to that level.
9. Think about divorce before you get married. What will your situation be if things dont work out? Consider how your partner is likely to behave in those circumstances as well. Think about a prenuptial agreement realism does not have to be anti-romantic.
10. If you have children, be nice for their sake. It is only in the most exceptional circumstances that it is not in the childrens interests for their parents to remain friendly.
Peter Martin, family lawyer, OGR Stock Denton
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from We’re very close. We couldn’t not be: the secret to a friendly divorce
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